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Be a Real Adult
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1 Be a Real Adult! A whistle stop tour of the world of Finance 7 Jun 2014
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A Kings College London Alumni Event. Baffled by mortgage jargon? Confused about pensions? Want to invest? A discussion of all the things that set us apart from our childhood! Good humoured, brutally truthful and truly educational! Proactive Paul provides insights into how the world of finance really works. It says copyright protected in the footnotes on Slide Share, but the dialogue is in the public domain so go ahead and use it if you like!
Transcript of Be a Real Adult
1
Be a Real Adult!
A whistle stop tour of
the world of Finance
7 Jun 2014
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Socialism
You have two cows.
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Socialism
You have two cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
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Communism
You have two cows.
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Communism
You have two cows.
The government takes them both and gives you the milk.
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Fascism
You have two cows.
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Fascism
You have two cows.
The government takes them both and sells you the milk.
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Capitalism
You have two cows.
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Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
You retire happily on the
earnings from your farm.
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Venture Capitalism
You have two cows . . . .
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Venture Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell all three cows to a Cayman Islands company. Using a letter of credit obtained from your brother-in-law at the bank, you buy back all four
cows with an option on a fifth.
The company Balance Sheet shows that you have six cows.
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The American Corporation
You have two cows . . . .
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The American Corporation
You have two cows. You sell one. You make the other one produce the milk of four cows. You then
pay a management consultant to tell you why your cow has died!
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The French Corporation
You have two cows . . . .
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The French Corporation
You have two cows. You go on strike. You blockade the roads.
You set things on fire . . . because you want three cows.
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The Italian Corporation
You have two cows.
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The Italian Corporation
You have two cows.
You have no idea where they are. So you decide to go & have lunch.
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The Swiss Corporation
You have . . . .
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The Swiss Corporation
You have five thousand cows.
None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for
storing them!
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The British Corporation
You have two cows.
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The British Corporation
You have two cows.
They are both mad!
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The Iraqi Corporation
You have . . . .
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The Iraqi Corporation
You have no cows. Everybody thinks you have two cows. So they
drop bombs on you and invade.
You still have no cows, but you are now a democracy!
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The Greek Corporation
You have two cows . . . .
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The Greek Corporation
You have two cows which you borrowed from a French bank and
a German bank. You eat the cows. When the banks come to
collect the milk you turn to the IMF for help. You borrow two more
cows. You eat the two new cows! When the IMF comes for the milk
you go and get a haircut.
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Be a Real Adult!
Who can you trust?
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Be a Real Adult!
Who can you trust?
None of the above!
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I am not authorised to give
Investment advice.
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www.slideshare.net/proactivepaul
