Basic Needs the need for direction &

hope… self-worth consisting of the need for love & purpose

There exists… “deep longings in the human heart for relationship and impact”… which can only be met in life with Christ

What Makes Us a Better People Helper? (A Framework)

Spiritual Issues/Concerns

Physical/Biochemical

Emotional

Relational

What Makes Us a Better People Helper?

1. Psychological Stability(emotional stability, openness- vulnerable- not labile or volatile)

2. Love for and interest in people (warm, caring, genuine person with a real interest in people and their welfare- Mt:14:14)

What Makes Us a Better People Helper?

3. Self-Awarenesss4. Some life experiences

5. Appropriate distance and boundaries

6. Ability to maintain confidentiality

7. Ability to know when you are over your head

Questions to Ponder Of all the relational

qualities that make us better people helpers, Which ones are most important? What strikes you most about the relational character of Jesus?

I. Most Effective

Counselor Skills Warmth -John 4

Caring, respect, sincere, non-smothering concern… regardless of the person’s actions or attitudes

I. Most Effective

Counselor Skills Genuineness

not phony or superior, open, sincere… honesty without cruel confrontation… (a soft answer turns away wrath), being congruent

I. Most Effective

Counselor Skills EmpathySensitive and able to

communicate understanding of the person’s thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, inner conflicts… to “feel with”, especially at the beginning is most helpful

Studies Show:

No particular form of therapy works better than another… but those 3 make a difference

Studies Show: Warmth,

Genuineness, & Empathy- especially at the beginning- has been proven to foster healing better… lack of these= worse

*** Relationships Heal***

Studies Show: Warmth-

Genuineness- Empathy… create safety… Everything else is impossible without it

Questions to Ponder

What is the goal of counseling? How have you been helped? What do you hope to see happen?

The test...NOTE:

A man goes to a psychologist, and they decide to start witha Rorschach test. She's shown the first picture and sees a man and a woman making love at the beach. In the second, a man and a woman making love in a hot-tub. The third has a man and a woman making love in a park. In all of the pictures, the man sees a couple making love.

After the test, the psychologist looks over her notes and says, "You seem to have a preoccupation with sex." The man replies, "You're the one with the dirty pictures."

II. Goal of

Counseling: A. Self

Understanding… to help person

get a true picture of what is going on within them and the world around them...

II. Goal of

Counseling: B. Communication

… to learn how to communicate feelings, thoughts, attitudes- effectively and accurately...

II. Goal of

Counseling: C. Learning &

Behavior Change… to encourage the

person to “launch out” and practice new behavior… thru instruction, modeling, trial/Error...

II. Goal of

Counseling: D. Self-Actualization…to develop

greatest potential thru power of Holy Spirit towards spiritual maturity… (“Christ-actualization”)

II. Goal of

Counseling: E. Support

… to encourage, pray for, make contact, enlist help, “walk alongside”...

III. Techniques of

Counseling A. Attending

(undivided attention)

1: eye contact

2. posture

3. gestures

III. Techniques of

Counseling B. Listening1. Have awareness2. Be nonjudgmental3. Be quiet4. Seek understanding* advice giving &

talking prevents sharing & safety

III. Techniques of

Counseling C. Responding1. Leading2. Reflecting3. Questioning 4. Confronting5. Informing6. Interpreting7. Support/encrge.

III. Techniques of

Counseling D. Teaching

...by instruction, example, information

III. Techniques of

Counseling Also… one of the

most powerful learning tools to use: immediacy responses… focus on the here & now

The Process of Therapy

Not linear- like layers of an onion

Specific Issues:

What do you want to focus on?

(anger, anxiety, depression, crisis, infidelity,substance abuse, etc.)