CONTAININGYOUR OWNTANTRUMS

BUILDINGBIOLOGY

WHYORGANIC?

CELEBRATING

SIBLINGS

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Barefoot magazine is produced by Budding Iris Publications. It seeks to inform, challenge, support, respect and inspire mothers, fathers, grandparents, carers and communities to live more consciously and value the importance of children and family life.

Disclaimer: The comments and opinions expressed in Barefoot

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the contents of Barefoot Magazine.

Editorial Team: Rachel Watts, Charlotte Young Anna Foletta

Design: Yvette Harbinson

Proofreading: Charlotte Young

Writers: Rachel Watts Angela Gioffe Sylvia Neubacher Jenny Chapman Raphael Siket

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barefootcontents

04 CONTAINING YOUR OWN TANTRUMS

By Rachel WattsA few thoughts on how parents can manage their own feelings when children are feeling out of control.

06 WHY ORGANIC?By Angela GioffeAn introduction to the benefits of choosing organic over conventionalproduce.

08 BUILDING BIOLOGYBy Raphael SiketAn introduction to the science of Building Biology or how our choices regarding our homes can impact on our health.

10 CELEBRATING SIBLINGSBy Charlotte YoungCharlotte writes on how she rides through the difficult, chaotic & loving relationships her children have built.

4 5

One of the concepts from my practice as a therapist i have found helpful is that of being a ‘container’. The idea being that we as parents provide containment or almost a ‘second skin’ for the raw, primal emotions of childhood. By containment i mean the provision of a safe, ‘holding’ environment. Through that containment children are able to safely experience strong emotions and also have an experience of having the emotions subside. Over time they learn to hold and mediate these feelings themselves. In practice, providing a containing environment might mean actually holding an out of control toddler, or soothing them in some way. Parents are amazingly resourceful and creative when it comes to providing the right sort of containment for their child.

The scary part is when the ‘container’ has a few leaks! That is, when we as parents feel overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and/or frightened by the emotions we are trying to contain for our children (perhaps because of our history of being parented, life stressors or just simply a lack of sleep). In my paid working life i know that i will burn-out if i do not have regular supervision, good peer support and time to de-brief. All of these things provide some containment for the container! Likewise in parenting i am finding debriefing at the end of the day with my partner, or seeking out support from others extremely ‘containing’. Of course, taking care of oneself emotionally, physically, and spiritually is a vital part of this as well.

When i am working as a psychologist, i know i am ‘burning-out’ when i start becoming cynical and negative about the work, or when i am secretly pleased that a client misses an appointment! In my role as parent i am trying to become more aware of early warning signs that i am ‘burning-out’ and in need of some ‘containment’ for myself. When negativity and cynicism creep

There are days when we all throw or feel like throwing tantrums at our house. When things are calm and gorgeous, i find it helpful to think about the important role that tantrums play in helping young children to develop and grow into themselves. We all learn to control rage, frustration, disappointment etc by having the experience of these feelings in a safe relationship with someone who is going to continue loving us no matter what.

However, this knowledge often disappears when i’m faced with my usually beautiful, creative, funny 2 year old having a tantrum. The thing i have found most confronting and shocking about parenting a 2 year old is what i have discovered about myself. People who know me well describe me as dreamy, gentle and even-tempered; and certainly that’s been my view of myself, too. However, (My anxiety about ‘fessing up to these feelings is lessened somewhat by knowing that this is the secret experience of all mothers). As i’ve struggled to understand this i’ve turned to something i know well in search of wisdom.

I have worked as a psychologist for more than 15 years and in that role have been exposed to extremely potent emotions of rage, sadness, anger, grief and frustration. So, i’ve wondered why it’s been difficult to maintain my composure when faced with the rage and frustration of a 2 year old? I’m not suggesting that as parents we can be therapists to our children, and while there are huge differences between being a full time parent and therapist who sees a client once each week, there is wisdom in the role of therapist and the role of parent which can be useful to the other.

into my thoughts about motherhood or i become more irritable i know i need to slow down and nurture myself…for my sake as well as the sake of my family. How do any of us do this when there are the demands of babies and toddlers to be attended to?

“I have been trying to establish little moments each day where i can nurture myself.” This might mean spending 10 minutes in the sun, mindfully and calmly enjoying a cup of tea from a pot, rather than hanging out washing and then resentfully drinking a cold cup of tea. The activity itself doesn’t seem to matter (it could be pulling weeds, reading the paper, yoga) but approaching the activity with an awareness that it is important, nurturing and containing seems the important factor. These little moments of mindfulness have been helpful in assisting me to be the kind of mother i want to be to my beautiful children.

Written by Rachel WattsRachel Watts is a mother, psychologist and part of the team that producesthis magazine.

“parenting has

taken me to places

where I’ve felt full

of rage or out of

control or blind with

frustration.”

CONTAINING YOUR OWN

TANTRUMS

ggq

6 7

lWHERE TO START, WHY

ORGANIC?Our health is our vitality, our energy, our lives. Without our health, we have nothing. So, it makes sense that in order to encourage our own health we must encourage the life that sustains us.

The plants and animals, the foods that we consume give us vitamins, minerals, nutrients, energy, protein and fats, which are the basic building blocks for sustainable and healthy living.

It’s no secret that fresh food is the most nourishing for our bodies, but what some people don’t realise is that conventional produce (grown with the use of pesticides) can have adverse effects on our health. Specifically, it’s the highly toxic pesticides that leave residue in and on conventional produce. Once consumed these pesticides can wreak havoc on healthy vital organs and lead to long term damage.

In an alarming study conducted by the British Medical Society in 1995, they linked pesticide residues with possible

What about the environment? The current agricultural practices of conventional farming, the use of pesticides and artificial chemicals are contributing greatly to the erosion of our topsoil and pollution of o u r waterways. Going organic means that soil structure is enhanced, wildlife is encouraged, and less carbon is produced. Organic farming is sustainable farming. It supports the environment, instead of depleting it. Organic farming gives back what it takes. It protects our environment, our farmers, and us.

How do you ‘go organic’?Organic farming is labour intensive, the growing is slower and generally there are smaller yields per hectare, hence the higher prices. It’s quite easy to make a positive impact both in terms of your diet and the world without radically increasing your cost of living.

Like anything in life if you make changes in small increments, you are most likely to sustain them. Try changing one product that you normally buy each week to an organic product. Then before you know it, your cupboard and fridge will be stocked organically! Start with a product that you use moderately, that your children enjoy. Make a positive change; it only takes a decision to be more conscious of the foods we eat, take responsibility for what we support in terms of farming methods. Here’s to your continued good health.

Written by Angela Gioffre

neurobehavioural and neurotoxic effects, possible birth defects, carcinogenic (cancer causing) cells, and allergic and other immuno-regulatory disorders.

In 2005, the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) ranked pesticide residtues among the top three environmental cancer risks!

Most recently, a study published by the national institute of environmental health sciences on children’s health and pesticide residues, revealed more unsettling facts about the effects of conventional produce. The study of 195 children aged between 6-7 years old found that 95% of those who ate conventional produce had alarmingly high levels of pesticide residue in their urine, some of which exceeded ‘safe’ levels as set by the government.

So it makes perfect sense to limit our exposure to foods that can have this impact on our bodies.

Enter organic food...

Organic foods are untainted by artificial chemicals, herbicides, chemical pesticides, waxes, free from genetically modified organisms, they are real foods, and in turn they offer our bodies more nutrition and no toxic pesticides or chemical residues.

Organic foods offer increased vitamin and mineral content;t study after study has

concluded that fresh organic foods contain more vitamins, minerals, trace minerals and phytonutrients than conventionally grown crops. A report released this year by the organic centre, has confirmed across the board

significant increases in the nutritional content of organic produce, some up to 88% higher.

8 9

BUILDING

BIOLOGY

Building biology is a new health science in Australia, which concerns itself with creating healthy buildings and lifestyles and in so doing enhancing the health and wellbeing of everyone in the building and the planet as a whole. Building biology assesses indoor environments and considers the impact of harmful chemicals and microbes in the water, air and products that we consume and use. Building biologists visit homes and businesses and work with health

How does the home environment impact on a child’s health and well being?

practitioners to ensure a completely holistic approach.

Building biologists believe that your child’s behaviour, development and state of well being is heavily dependent on the health of the home in which they are raised and spend a majority of their time. Solutions are often very simple and it is just a matter of being educated about your own home.

When people first become parents, few think about how their choices about fitting out their child’s bedroom and home will affect their child’s future health and well being. Many commercial paints, new mattresses, linen, pillows, carpet, underlay and toys contain a cocktail of synthetic chemicals that have been shown to increase allergic sensitisation in children. Glues and resins used in some wooden cribs, foam mattresses and most pressed wood products off-gas chemicals over a long period of time. A simple solution is to purchase second hand toys and products (over 18 months old) as off-gassing of any potential hazards would have already taken place. Buying second hand also promotes the re-use of products which means less needs to be manufactured and even less ends up in landfill. This is one small step towards decreasing allergies and asthma in children.

Vacuum cleaners can also pose risks as most disperse 80% of the particles they collect

straight out the back of the machine. This means that dust and allergen particles are now airborne and in the breathing zone of your child. Children breathe more rapidly than adults and inhale 50% more air per pound of body weight. This makes them a lot more susceptible to air contaminants than adults. By purchasing a good quality vacuum with a hepa filter you are reducing the amount of allergens your children are inhaling.

Many baby care products (creams, oils, powders etc.) contain toxic chemicals like propylene glycol and sorbelene. By taking the time to read the list of ingredients on the packaging of some baby products and with minimal research you will find that many ingredients are petroleum based and toxic. Many natural alternatives are now on the market which are healthier and better for you and your baby.

Plastic baby bottles, made from polycarbonate, contain bisphenol a and phthalates which are both linked to harmful health effects. These bottles are often placed in the microwave where these chemicals are known to leach from the plastic with the increase in temperature. Heating glass bottles with boiled water in the pot is a safer solution, or adding boiled water to the bottle.

Without realising it, electromagnetic radiation can be easily introduced to the home. Cordless phones and wireless internet are the 2 main culprits. By simply changing to corded phones and cabled broadband or adsl this problem is easily averted. Electric blankets, meter boxes on the outside of bedroom walls and nearby powerlines are known to have a harmful effect on the development of young children. By keeping the bedroom as electrical free as possible our bodies have a better chance of resting and doing the repair work required for optimum health.

Even though we are exposed to an ever

growing number of synthetic chemicals and electromagnetic radiation our bodies try to adapt and cope. We all have different constitutions and can therefore tolerate different levels of exposure. The human body is an amazing thing but many of us become accustomed to levels of fatigue and ill health that we believe are normal. Waking up in the morning after hours of wonderful rest, feeling refreshed and maintaining a vibrant level of energy and clarity throughout the day and night is normal. Yet those of us that experience this are now in the minority. By taking one step at a time and making simple changes to our lifestyle, this experience is within our reach.

Written by Raphael Siket Raphael siket is the director of ecolibria - the leading building biology service company in australia. He is a qualified building biologist and has completed the most comprehensive course of study currently offered in this field.

The human body is an amazing thing but many

of us become accustomed to levels of fatigue

and ill health that we believe are normal.

10 11

wThe whole expanding family thing is one big, happy, messy, wonderful, chaotic conflict of feelings and behaviours – for all of us - as we shuffle and scuffle our way into different dancing shoes on a bigger, busier stage.

“We have to rip off one of her toes,” my five year old rages, on the verge of tears, and only just managing to contain the violent impulse to strike his fifteen month old sister. He is in certain need of payback and feels amputation would be only fair after discovering that the headlights have been torn off his colourful masterpiece that took him hours to create.

My role? To ensure the safety of my toddler, bear witness to my son being tossed about by his thundering emotions and console him when he becomes consolable, encouraging him to use his words. Finally, I need to remember to breathe and keep sight of the bigger picture – they are learning and learning (hopefully!) is good.

One of my own impulses is to hush his mouth - how could he say such a thing? And how could he suddenly be sounding so psychopathic? But I have to allow him to be in his whirlwind which is very real for him and which will also pass, if I let it blow through. This is the biggest lesson I have learnt about parenting three children – to allow them to ‘be’; to let them mix it in and up and all about with one another, and for me to interrupt them as little as possible in the process.

Pre-defined family values act as a useful parental barometer for knowing

when to stand back and when to provide guidance. Physical hurting and psychological hurting (i.e taunts and put downs) are not ok with us. So if I witness or am aware of either of these I step in. On the other hand if there’s minor bickering which turns into a big hullabaloo, but each are holding their own, then I stay out of it, tuned in, and on the alert for transgressions, but quietly going about my own business. A lot of the time they resolve their own issues, using the family values as their own set of guidelines.

Their relationship is their own and the less I butt in the better. The other day there was a spat over some lemons. Both boys had picked three lemons each for their Nana and put them into the same bag. When she arrived my five year old handed them over to her, only to be given a sharp shove by my seven year old who then stomped off. This is what she saw. What she didn’t see whilst she was waiting on the porch was them both racing for the bag with my first son shouting urgently, “We picked them together, we’ll give them together”. So adults became involved with ‘sorting them out’, which took a lot longer than had they been left to themselves to establish that shoving is not ok and neither is ignoring or disrespecting another family member’s wishes.

Conflict resolution is a big part of having a sibling and if I’m constantly stepping in with my own skewed opinions to do the resolving, how will they learn this valuable skill? Learning to share, to shout, to not overstep the mark, to say sorry, when to walk away

and when to stand one’s ground are all rich grist for the sibling’s mill. As Nancy Samalin says in her book Loving Each One Best: “…rivalry has a positive place in the lives of children. Simply put, it provides a way, in the safety of their own home, for them to test their limits, assert themselves, and learn to negotiate for what they want and need. It also brings them closer.”

The boundaries of them (the kids) and us (their folks) are of course, not as stark as I’m making out and the parent/child relationships are in the mix of the sibling connections too. Generally speaking though, if I’m/we’re managing to meet each of our children’s needs (as much as is humanly possible!) then harmony prevails (eventually!) when our children are left to their own devices. The one thing I attempt every day is to connect individually with each one and ideally, I seek them out before they seek for me. This sounds simple but is not easy. For my children it may mean a cuddle, a rough and tumble, or a book, to name just a few. I try not to make a big song and dance that this is their ‘special time’ but inwardly I am holding them dearly in this special time. We don’t have to go out of the house or the garden or away from the others to achieve this connection, although occasionally this can be special and may need to happen more often, the older they get. Time will tell.

Written by Charlotte Young

CELEBRATING

SIBLINGS Anne Digby RM, ND

Womenís Health Naturopath and Midwife

Suite 401,89 High St South,

KEW VIC 3101.&

96 Jumping Creek Road,WONGA PARK VIC 3115

www.digbyhealth.com Phone: 03 9852 7880

Too many breastfeeding mothers encounter mastitis and suffer unnecessarily when it can be prevented and they can be supported.

For further information contact Charlotte Young

E info@mamasword.com

W www.mamasword.com

T (03) 9722 2701

Secret Garden Clinic

Eltham Clinic 0408 327 993

www.homeopathyoz.org

Hurstbridge Clinic

9718 1914

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12

What did I think when asked to write about living in bare feet?

I immediately thought of a carefree childhood spent outdoors:

summers by the lake; mud and sand; bee stings; running; and the

occasional mishap with doggie doodoo…

Then, on considering the notion somewhat more closely, as a

parent of a small child, I turned from my memories to other ways

of seeing, or standing, as it were. These days we tend to fear the

slightest contact with dirt and germs, and we are convinced of the

NEED for shoes for physiological development and protection. Is

this a consequence of clever, advertisements by shoe companies

pointing out the dangers of the world we now live in, or is it

a symptom of our loss of connection with the earth; our natural

habitat? Is it only us relatively affluent culture dwellers who think

like this? Are we the only ones who suffer all sorts of podiatric

ailments?

Let’s venture into these issues together: discuss the notion of

spirituality and connectedness (or disconnectedness) to our natural

world; debate the research that argues for and against the need for shoes; and travel through cross cultural, historical and economic experiences of shoe-wearing. Most of all, let’s explore the symbol of Barefoot as childhood, play, and an unconscious way of being in the world.

Tree-climbing, rough bark gripping.Creek-crossing, slimy stones slipping!Hopping on hot sand, or in cool grass laying.Barefoot, childhood replaying.I remember it. We just were. Barefoot.Most of the time.

Want to read more about living barefoot? Get the full transcript of this article in the launch issue of Barefoot Magazine. Due out March 2009!

Written by Jenny Chapman

LIVING

barefoot