Band Score 8

7/24/2019 Band Score 8

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Band score 8.0 range of grammarThis lesson looks at the idea of range of grammar. If you are aiming for a high band score, it is not

simply enough not to make mistakes, you also need to show that you can use a number of different

grammatical constructions. First of all, I talk you through some principles and then I give you some

practical suggestions on what sort of grammar can help and, just as importantly, how to use it.

Test yourself first

Before you read on. You might want to ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I going to impress more with longer sentences?2. Do I have a strategy for when I use simpler grammar and more complex

grammar?3. When and why do I use complex grammar lie relative and conditional clauses?

An essay should combine simple with complex grammar

This is the starting point. A well-written essay should be relatively easy to read. This means that

you need to combine the simple with the complex. Where you have straightforward to say, you

should not try and show off your grammar by making it seem complex indeed, thats a verycommon mistake.

Typically, you should aim for:

simple structures when you are maing main points ! often in the openingand"or closing sentences of your paragraphs

more complex structures when you are explaining"developing those main pointsin the #ody of your paragraphs

a movement from the more simple to the more complex

When you have something simple to say, say it simply. Only use complex structures for morecomplex thoughts.

Close Me

This paragraph expresses some complex thoughts, but it starts off simply to make the main point.

The major argument against hosting international sporting events is financial.Typically, it can cost

several million pounds to build the arenas and modernise the infrastructureso thatit can cater

for the athletes and the spectators. This money, it is argued,would be better spenton welfare and

education programmesthat provide direct support for the population.Indeed, some governments

have incurredso much debt through hosting the Olympic Gamesthatthey have had to reduce

spending on other social programmes.
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The first sentence of this paragraph is simple. All I want to do is make clear that the main reason is

financial. I use simple clear English so that reader gets the main point. The grammar is It is

financial.

The next sentences are more complex and use complex structures to express more complex

thoughts

so thatbecause I am talking about results

would be better spentbecause I am talking conditionally

that provide direct support for the populationbecause I am defying my terms

An essay should combine longer and shorter sentences

In many ways this is the same point. It is absolutely not the case of long sentences good, short

sentences bad. There will be times when a short sentence is more effective than a long sentence.In general, though, you should avoid the extremes of very long and very short. Also, you need to

ask yourself how complex your sentences are. Shorter sentences can work:

1. if they are used in com#ination with longer sentences$ or2. if they are relatively complex

%onger sentences can wor&

1. if they are used with shorter sentences$ or2. if they are simpler in structure 'using (and) and (#ut)*

Be careful of too many long, complex sentences and too many short simplesentences

Close Me

None of the sentences in this paragraph are particularly long for short.

Another way in which free public transport could improve our quality of life relates to

congestion.Currently, the trend is for increasing numbers of people to choose to drive to work.This

means that in many cases the rush hour is several hours long and it is sometimes almost

impossible to travel across a city.It is probable that this level of congestion would be reduced by

making public transport free.

The first sentence is shorter because it is the opening sentence of the para and it also includes the

complex in which construction.

The second sentence is shortish again because it is merely stating a fact no need to make it

more complex

The third sentence is a longer sentence, but it is simply linked using and

The final sentence is again relatively short/simple sentence but it does contain a conditional

would and a by structure.
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xamples of grammar that can wor!

This is not intended to be a list of advanced grammar points that will guarantee you a band score

8.0. Rather, the idea here is to show yougrammar connects to meaning. You should never just

use a structure because it is good grammar. Instead, you need to ask yourself what is the best

way I can express this point.

The best writers use these structures when they need to, not because they think they have

to". the passi#e

I start with the passive because it is so often misused. It is not the case that the passive is an

academic structure that should be used in essays. We use it all the time in all sorts of contexts.

Here, though, is one way you might find it helpful in writing:to avoid repeating words

especially nouns/pronouns.You may want to avoid using some words too much especially

words from the question. Here the passive can help you. In a question about government action,

rather than writing:

The government should introduce measures to

you can try

Measures should be introduced

so that you dont repeat the word government.

$. %elati#es

This is another piece of grammar you need to feel comfortable with and can help you. You should

be careful, however, not to overuse relatives as they can make your writing both confusing and

confused. One tip I would give you here is to try and restrict yourself to one relative per sentence

and to try andavoid them in already complex sentences. Look at this example:

There is a real danger that allowing people to travel for free would deprive transport authorities

funds which they need and lead to a lower standard of service.

The relative can be avoided by changing it into an adjective phrase:

There is a real danger that allowing people to travel for free would deprive transport authorities of

much needed funds and lead to a lower standard of service.

When you do use relatives though is to define terms and add detail. Here is an example in action:

More than that, if the authorities plan carefully, they can use the occasion of the sporting event to

help finance public works which benefit the whole population in the long term.

I want to say what sort of public works I am referring to so I define them in the relativewhichbenefit the whole population in the long term.


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&. Conditionals

Here is another piece of grammar that can help you out. Provided that is, you see how and when to

use it.One of the best ways to use these conditionals to explain and give examples.This

means they are likely to come in the body of your paragraphs and not the introduction/opening

sentence. Try this example:

There is also, however, a strong argument not to implement this proposal. This argument is based

on economic competitiveness.If a company was forced to employ more workers to produce thesame amount of goods, then its wage bill would rise and its products might become more

expensive and less competitive compared to companies with longer working weeks.In this case, it

is possible that the company eithermightbecome insolvent or itwouldhave to make some

employees redundant. As a result, the intended benefit to the personnelwould nothappen.

This time around I have given you the whole para so that you can see the context. I use a

conditional because I am explaining a point. You should also see that we use might and would

in the following sentences even though there is no if.

Do you want to show off? Then you might consider using conditionals that do not use if. So you

could use:

Were a company to be forced

'. (arallel structures

There are a number of different parallel structures we have in English. They come in useful when

we arecombining, comparing or contrasting points again something that you are likely to do

in your essays. This is a useful piece of grammar to focus on, as when used well they make your

writing more cohesive. For example

Not onlywould unemployment be reduced,butthe working conditions of employees on very long

shifts wouldalsobe significantly improved.

You may think not only..but also is too easy to impress. Dont. Simple things done well impress

too and this sentence is complex enough as it is.

). *erb tenses +of course,- impersonal structures and modals

The point to remember here is that it is not difficulty of grammar that is important, rather it is varietyof grammar. This means that some bits of grammar that you think are rather simple (e.g. tenses)

are still important. The point I want to make here is thatthe one tense you are going use most is

the present simple.Checking my essays, I find that easily the most common tense I use is the

present simple. Thats how it should be it is easily the most common tense in English.

You do want some variety though, and here is how I get it. I use a lot of impersonal structures

There are several reasons why

and I also use a large number of modal verbs:

It can also be argued that


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The point here is that I use them to make impersonal points or sound academic. They too have

their meanings and uses.

. And and but

Never be afraid of keeping it simple. I do. My essays work. You will also find that I almost never use

moreover and furthermore. More to the point, neither do band 8.0 candidates typically. When all

you want to do is add a point say and and if you want to make a contrast, you are most likely touse but or however,.

Test your own writing

The best advice is of course always to find yourself a teacher, but if you are working by yourself,

here is something you can do. Find an essay you have written and go through it:

1. Do you use di+erent grammatical structures? ',ou should have at least some ofthe ones I have mentioned*

2. -an you see why you have used any of the more complex structures?3. ow long is your average sentence? 'around 1/ words is a#out right I would

suggest*0. Do your paragraphs com#ine longer and shorter sentences and simpler and

more complex sentences?/. Do you use (and) and (#ut)?


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Band score 8.0 range of #ocabularyThis is the next in my series of lessons in how to achieve a high band score in IELTS essays. This

time the focus is on vocabulary. There is no magic bullet here vocabulary learning takes time.

Thats the bad news. What I do do though is to talk you through some of the more common

problems with vocabulary in essays and give you some tips on avoiding them. Youll also find a

bonus essay to download.

A sample essay wea! #ocabulary

Read through this sample essay. It is well structured and addresses the question, but it is weak on

vocab. Can you see what the problems are?

We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important One of the signs of this is

the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view

is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.

The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and can

sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the sportspeople who are in danger, but

spectators too can be badly injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be

hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is

understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.

The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone

wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the government cannot say what

they should do. Many dangerous sports are also not very risky and it is as dangerous doing

everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.

I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should

also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most important

thing. This is most important for young children.

/eeing the problems repetition

One of the most common problems is you can get stuck on certain words. This frequently

happens with words in the question itself. To some extent this is unavoidable and you will see my

improved version retains quite a lot of repetition there is simply less of it.

/ee the repetition corrected

Tip thin! of #ocabulary before you start writing

The idea is quite simple. If you think of the words you want to use before you write, then you can

use them. On the other hand, if you start writing too quickly, then it becomes much harder to try

and vary your vocab.
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Tip repetition should be on e#eryones editing chec!list

One of my top tips is that everyone should have a mental checklist of the type of errors they look

for when they check their work Im going to look for any mistake doesnt really work. The point

here is that even the best writers can subconsciously get stuck on words and keep on repeating

them if they are not careful.

Tip if you cant find another word- repeat it in a different formSometimes there is only one correct word. In this case, the best advice is not to find another word

that may well be wrong, but to change the word slightly. This can mean using the noun form and

not the verb form (banbecomesimpose a ban on)or to qualify it with another word

sobanbecomesban entirely.

/eeing the problems a#oid language that is too simple

In general, I am a fan of the simple. There are times, however, when you want to upgrade your

English, in particular

avoiding words lie (#ig) that are not normally used in more formal writtennglish

avoiding words lie (do) unless they are part of a set phrase ! there is almostalways a #etter variation

nding variations for words such as (very) to show your range thining a#out collocations 'phrases*

/ee the simple language impro#ed

Tip when you learn #ocabulary- learn phrases and not 1ust words

Part of solution to this problem is to learn phrases. For example, you are much more likely to be

able to use participate, if you have first learnt the phrase participate in a sport.

2inding solutions thin! examples for precise language

This is one of my fa#ourite suggestions. The idea is that if you learn to use examples well- you get

to use language that is precise and sometimes relati#ely simple. Ta!e a loo! at this re#ised

#ersions of the examples. the re#isions may seem 3uite small- but 4 get to use precise

language a good thing.

The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So,

if someone wishes tofreefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it

should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A

further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called

dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing

the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.

The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous

and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but

spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not

escape unharmed and there is also a chance thata bouncing tyreordebris will fly into the crowd.

Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for the authorities to take action.

2inding solutions be academic and use 3ualifying language
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Part of the academic writing skill is learning to qualify what you say so that it is not too general.

Take a look at these two examples of qualifying phrases I add in to the improved version. Again,

the changes may seem small but taken together they can have a significant effect on your writing.

We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. ne of the signs

of this is the demand that dangerous sports should #e #anned. While I understand that

argument$ my view is that$within certain limits$people should retain the freedom to

participate in whatever sports they choose.

4he counter argument is that people should #e allowed to assume whatever ris they

choose. 5o$ if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 36$666 feet$ then they should

#e free to do so and it should #e accepted that it is not the place of the government

to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical termsthere is a

low pro#a#ility of in7ury in many so8calleddangerous sports and people are at greater

ris carrying out everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooing a meal as

#ungee 7umping.

2inding solutions focus your #ocabulary learning on academic#ocabulary

4his is in many ways the #ig one. %earning voca#ulary taes time. ne excellent way

to do it is simply to read and listen as much as possi#le. ,ou will a#sor# more new

words that way than #y sitting down and studying any word list. owever$ there is a

however. 4o get a high #and score$ you want to learn the (right) words to use in

essays. 4his is where theacademic word listcomes to your help.

Academic #ocabulary and 45T/

Certain words in English are simply more academic than others. This does not necessarily meanthey are difficult words, it just means native speakers tend to use them more when they are

writing more formally. They are in other words exactly the sort of words you want in IELTS. Take

these examples from the improved essay:

retain principal assume participate in

4hese are all excellent words to (learn) as they can #e used in all sorts of di+erent

contexts. All I would add is that you also need to learn how to use them and that iswhere my daily word exercises come in.
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Band score 8.0 writing better paragraphsThis is the next lesson in my series on how to achieve high band scores in IELTS writing. The focus

this time is on writing better paragraphs and improving the coherence of your writing. This is a

problem that is common at high levels where candidates have plenty of good language but

sometimes dont use it very effectively.

Sometimes it is easier to understand a problem by looking at something that is not quite right. So

this time I look at ways of improving a sample of writing from a candidate who has consistently

scored 6.5 in writing (4 times in a row I believe!), but who is certainly capable of scoring more

highly. He has in fact already completed a masters such is the absurdity of the IELTS system.

As a bonus, I also include a download of a sample essay on the theme of employment and

promotion.

Coherence and cohesion distinguished

To understand the problem it is first necessary to understand a little of the difference between

coherence and cohesion. Put simply, cohesion is the linking of your writing by using connecting

words, while coherence is making sure your writing makes sense. The important point to note is

thatit is quite possible for a piece of writing to be cohesive but not very coherent.

The sample paragraph cohesion

In some ways, this is a very good paragraph. There is a good range of vocabulary, the grammar is

fine and it has lots of good cohesion structures which I have highlighted in red. There is much to

learn here:

this/that/these/thoseare excellent cohesion structures as they lin #ac tosomething that was already mentioned

repeating certain words'(performance) (companies)* also helps cohesion asit helps the reader mae connections #etween sentences

The principal reason why some people takethis viewis that most multi-national companies

certainly implement some specific policies to select employees for promotion.This point, of course,

could be demonstrated by individuals who worked inthose companies.For example, when I was

working in an American company in Shanghai, before each fiscal year, I usually discussed with my

supervisor in order to draw up a formal agreement, which was called Performance andDevelopment Review.By doing this,the jobperformanceI did for several months could be judged

by my employer , which meant if it was a good outcome, I would be promoted immediately even

though I was only a junior employee at that time.

Another #ersion more coherent


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So wheres the problem then? For me, the problem is that when I get to the end of the paragraph, I

am not immediately clear what the main point being made was. This can perhaps be best shown

by looking at my improved version of the same paragraph.

Despite these reasons, there is a strong argument in favour of also promoting staff because of their

performance. This can be seen by how some multi-nationals use annual performance and

development reviews when deciding on promotion. Under this system, a supervisor can set targets

for an employee and if those targets are met, then the employee can be promoted, even if they are

relatively junior. The benefit of this approach to promotion is that it encourages staff to work harder

and rewards merit and not just long service.

6otes

". 5ess can be more

My version is considerably shorter than the original even though it makes all the same points.

Sometimes, it can help your writing become more coherent if you concentrate on using fewer

words. Likewise, I am not afraid to keep my sentences relatively short. Again, it can be easier to

transmit your ideas if your sentences do not become too complicated.

$. 4dentify the main idea of the paragraph put it in the first sentence

The first step is to identify what one point you want to make in the paragraph and to state it clearly

in the first sentence. In this example, the main point ispromoting staff because of their

performance. Part of the problem with the original version is thatmost multi-national companies

certainly implement some specific policies to select employees for promotionis not particularly

clear. The idea ofperformanceonly occurs in the 4th/5th line.

&. 7eep the first sentence short dont be afraid of !eeping it simple

My version uses more simple vocabulary. I avoid words like specific. My goal is absolute clarity.

All I want to do is show the reader what the idea of the paragraph is.

'. Thin! about how you use examples and reasons omit

unnecessary details

Part of the problem with the original version is that the example is rather long and there is a danger

that the main point is lost. Examples tend to be a good thing, but you need to think carefully how

you use them. Do they illustrate the point you want to make. In the sample paragraph, there is so

much detail (Shanghai) that the point of the example is rather lost.

). Consider how you end your paragraph

One way that my paragraph is extremely coherent is that in my final sentence I come back to the

main idea of the paragraph in a circular approach:

promoting staff because of their performance (first sentence)

this approach to promotion is that it encourages staff to work harder and rewards merit (last

sentence)


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(ractice suggestion

rite paragraphs- not essays

One very simple suggestion is that you practise writing paragraphs and not just essays. It can be a

problem if you only write essays, as it is harder to focus on one particular skill. As you write the

paragraph, it helps to focus on:

simple rst sentences that identify the main point of the paragraph and relate tothe 9uestion consider using a circular approach where you restate the main point in the nal

sentence leaving out details that are irrelevant remem#er cohesion too 'that part of the sample was excellent*

Test your own writing9 what was the essay 3uestion:

Another idea is to look at some of your old essays and read the first sentences of the main topic

paragraphs. If you have written well, you should be able to predict the question of the essay from

the first sentences of those paragraphs.


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Band score 8 in writing grammaticalaccuracy

This is the first of a series of lessons in how to achieve band score 8.0 in writing. It used to be the

case that 7.0 was pretty much the highest requirement, but times change and now it is not unusual

for certain institutions/employers to ask for 8.0. I certainly get a number of queries on this. So how

do you do it? Can it be done? Dont need 8.0? Read on you still need to do the same things

only to a slightly lower level.

In this first lesson, I take you back to basics and explain a little about the marking of IELTS and

then focus on one aspect in particular: grammatical accuracy.

Test yourself first

Heres the test. Read this essay (written by me). Its pretty good, but every sentence contains one

mistake. That means its not good enough. Your job is to find the mistakes.

In todays material world, we are inundated with variety forms of advertising. In my view, this can be

dangerous as it encourages us spend without thinking and young people, in particular, need some

protection from it.

The first point to make is that advertising does make us to spend money we do not need to. There

are nowadays many diferent ways companies promote their products and services, ranging from

television commercials to simple flyers. If, for example, you were watching a football match on

television, you will see the logos of the tournament sponsors. Likewise, if you watch the latest

blockbuster movie, very probably you will see a product placed in the film by advertising agency.

The volume of this advertising means that we, as consumers, tend to be profoundly influence by itand buy without thinking.

It is not easy to decide how regulating advertising. Clearly, governments ought to restrict

advertisements for harmful products such as alcohol and tobacco. They do not have the power,


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however, to control other forms of the advertising. This means we need to use our commonsense

when we go to the shops, and ask us whether we really need to make that purchase. Parents

should, however, ensure that young people are protected about too much exposure to advertising.

this can mean explaining that it is not in fact necessary to buy the newest Xbox.

My conclusion is that while we cannot escape advertising or its effects in the modern world,

children should be being encouraged not to pay too much attention to it.

/ee the mista!es

/tep " understand the rules of the game +the band scorecriteria,

The first step must be to understand how the writing is marked. If you dont do that, your chances

are much reduced. Let me explain. Native speakers sometimes have to take IELTS too. They dont

always do so well and occasionally embarrass themselves by not getting a band 8 score. Why? Arethey not:

Band 8 Very Good User

Has fully operational command of the language with only occasional unsystematic inaccuracies

and inappropriacies. Misunderstandings may occur in unfamiliar situations. Handles complex

detailed argumentation well.

Of course they are. They simply havent understood the rules of the game. The rules are like this.

Writing is mared according to 0 criteria 'lexical resource"grammatical rangeand accuracy"coherence and cohesion"tas response*

,ou get a score out of : for each of these and then the mars are averaged togive you your nal score

4he reality is that if you get much less than ;.6 in any one of those criteria$ it #ecomes

much harder to get a nal ;.6.Your aim has to be to get 8.0 in each criteria. If

you don


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Ma!es only #ery occasional errors or inappropriacies

In a way, this is another way of saying the same thing. You need to write in such a way as the

examiner is surprised when you get something wrong.

=ow can you achie#e this: 5earn to chec! for mista!es

The one thing that will not work is writing very simple language and only concentrate on not making

mistakes. You need to arangeof grammar too remember. What it does mean is: you almost certainly need a teacher to chec your writing and tell you where

you mae mistaes you need to #uild a checlist of the type of mistaes you mae ! most people

have their (own) mistaes and it also maes sense to concentrate on common #its ofgrammar lie (counta#les) and (uncounta#les) as you will use these in everysentence.

you need to understand that grammar is more than 7ust ver# tenses& it includesthings lie word order too

you need to learn to chec your own writing 'my personal suggestion is that youdonse plain nglish

I said above that you should not use too simple English. That is true. What is also true, however, isthat it makes sense to avoid complicated English as well it is only likely to cause more mistakes.

This is not just good advice for the exam, it is good advice for life too (Macmillan dictionary

pageandMichael McCarthy a leading academic).

/ome basics for writing plainer nglish

avoid long$ long sentences '26 words is a long sentence$ unless its structure isvery simple*

don


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igger pro#lem ! if you try and write something (clever)$ there is a good chancethat your language will #ecome over8complex and you will mae mistaes you didn


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if you are answering the question

When you write, these are the points you need to think about. Ill try and show you below how you

can do this.

/ee an example of how this wor!s

Read this question

There is an increasing trend for people to live on their own and not share accommodation.

What is causing this to happen? Do you think it will have a positive or negative effect on

society?

You should see that there are two main questions to answer and one logical approach (the clearest

and easiest one) is to answer each question in one main paragraph.

Addressing the question

One job of the topic sentences is to show the examiner how you are doing this. Look at the red bitsbelow, you should how clear it is that I am addressing the question.

There are two main ways in whichchanging family relationships are responsible for more people

living by

themselves

..

This phenomenon is likely to be harmful to societyboth on the personal and social

level.

4op tip ! #orrow$ change and adapt words from the 9uestion in your topicsentences.4his will mae it clear that you are on topic. @ust don


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The answer to this question is something like

I agree with the proposal

I think it is dangerous

You should see that these are very general answers thatstate your positionto the question. This

will give you the red language from my examples.What am I going to say ing this paragraph generally?

The answer to this question should be slightly different it will contain more detail. The sort of

answers you should get are:

I have 3 different reasons why its a bad idea

The main reason why its a bad idea is

Again, you should see that this sayswhat comes nextin your paragraph. This is the blue

language in my examples above.

The writing stage

This is the tough bit of course. Here are some quick thoughts:

you need to think/plan first you cant write a topic sentence until you know what comes next

each paragraph should be about one main idea this may mean not using all your ideas

keep your topic sentence short (not more that 16 words or so) if you are writing much more then

you may be including too much detail

here next:

Writefix is an exceptional site for writing. It has loads of good materials. Try this as a starting place

and then start browsing:

writex ! the #ody2

Purdue OWL is another site you need to know about that has great writing resources. Start here:

>urdue W% ! topic sentences

You may want to check out this resource lesson I wrote for teachers, it too has ideas you can use:

D- I%45 ! topic sentence activities for teachers

Here is the complete essay and a quick lesson on coherence

>eople living alone essay

4mportant footnote

In the first version of this lesson I described a topic sentence as a map that was a big mistake.

Maps contain lots of details and can be hard to read and take time to understand this is exactly

what a topic sentence should not be.
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This new and improved version describes topic sentences as signposts. Signposts can be

understood immediately and show you what way to go without using too much detail. Take a look

below. You are aiming for the first one and not the second!!!!

rite better paragraphs start with asimple sentencePart of your job in answering IELTS essay questions is to give a clear answer that the examiner

can follow. One way you can do that is by following this simple tip

keep the first sentence in each topic paragraph simple dont try and say too much too soon

hy is this a good idea:

Typically, it is a good idea to go from the general to the particular first of all make it clear whatyou want to say generally, then add details/explanations later. It can also actually beeasierto write

this way in the exam when you are under pressure. It really can help to follow this sort of routine:1. What do I want to say? ! general idea2. ow can I explain it? ! reasons3. -an I thin of any examples? ! examples

Problems often happen when reasons and examples get put in the first sentence when you try to

explain your idea without saying what it is first.

/ee two examples

To see what I mean, take a look at these two paragraphs below. They are both about complex

topics and express quite complex ideas. They do, however, start simply. Note how:

the shortest sentence in each paragraph is the rst one 'that


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morally wrong if they abandoned them when they most needed care.[Now the reason why its

about duty]So, the children of the elderly should be prepared to make sacrifices in their careers

and home life to provide for their parents and this is especially true when they are sick and

incapable of looking after themselves.[A more complex sentence explaining the idea]

=ow can you learn this s!ill:

Practice helps of course. But it may help you to ask yourself this question before you write that key

first sentence:

What do I think?

Only then do you ask yourself the question

Why do I think that?

A simple practice idea

1. Bo #ac over your old essays and copy out the rst sentence of each paragraph.2. -an you see what that paragraph was a#out 7ust #y reading that sentence?

4hat


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Do you see how the ideas contained in the content sentences all link back to the main idea in the

topic sentence, highlighted in red?

hen you should consider a listing paragraph

The next step is to decide when you should use the listing paragraph structure. Here are some

ideas for you to consider:

you have a series of connected ideas 'reasons"examples"explanations etc* thatrelate to one main idea

these connected ideas are #alanced 'e9ually relevant* it maes sense in that essay to give di+erent reasons 'ie the essay ass you to

write a#out the reasonswhy something is the case* perhaps it is simpler to list rather than explain in detail 'this is particularly the

case in exams where you under time pressure*

;etting the topic sentence right

One of the keys to making this listing paragraph structure work is to get the topic sentence right.

These are not rules, but think about these general guidelines:

the topic sentence should come rst and #e simple& you want the reader to seeimmediately what your para is a#out

it should ideally say that you are going to list di+erent reasons etc. If you don


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Topic sentence language

Here the goal is to show the reader that you are about to make a number of connected points.

Here are some ideas to get you going. obviously, you will need to adapt them to your topic.

There are at leastthree[reasons] why. (ie use a number and traditionally three is the magical

number)

There area variety of[reasons] whyThere areseveralcauses for this

There area number of different ofways in which

The most basic listing language

If this is a new technique for you, this language is a good place to start. Though I would add that

you should aim for some of more advanced language as you progress. It is also sensible to be

fairly consistent with the language. The moment you say Firstly,, the reader automatically looks

for Secondly, and may be confused if they do not find it (or something very similar to it)

Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly/Finally (note the comma)

One [reason] is A second reason is A third/final [reason] is

/ome more ad#anced #ariations

Here are some slightly more advanced ways of linking your ideas. The point is to start with the

biggest/best and then add other ideas using phrase with Another and Also. This way the

connection should still be plain.

The most significant[reason] is

Theprimary[reason] why

Equally significant is

Another connected[reason] is

Alinkedreason is

It isalso the case that

It isalsosometimes suggested that

To keep the connection between your ideas clear use the linking language at the beginning of your

sentence

/ee some examples of listing paragraphs and test yourself

These paragraphs are based on an essay question asking why people are moving from the

countryside into cities and whether that is a positive trend. If you want to test yourself, see if you

can complete them. Possible ideas include loss of agricultural land/farming culture, better jobs in

cities, better lifestyle and amenities in cities, better infrastructure and transport makes it easier

/imple #ersion

There are three main reasons why people are abandoning the countryside and moving to

cities. Firstly,


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Secondly,

Thirdly,

More ad#anced

There are a number of reasons for this migration from the countryside to urban centres. Perhaps

the most significant of these is that

Another connected reason is that

It can also be caused by

xpert

Close examination shows that there are a variety of causes for this migration. The primary reason

why

Perhaps as significant as this is the fact that

It is also sometimes suggested that

2ootnote on 45T/

Can you use this structure in IELTS essays. Most definitely. In fact, you would be foolish not to

practise this form of paragraph, it works very well in exam circumstances when you may not be

able to think of fully developed ideas but have lots of little ideas.

he differences between Academic and;eneral 45T/ writing

A fairly common request is for an explanation of the differences between academic and general

training IELTS writing. I askedMike Wattie of IELTSanswers,an expert on the IELTS writing

process, to give some guidance on this. If you read on youll discover that the two formats are

graded in just the same way, but each presents slightly different challenges:

IELTS writing: General and Academic exam

The IELTS writing exam has two versions. In most cases you cannot choose which one you want to

take. For instance getting into a university requires a score in the Academic version, and

immigration is usually based on the General version. There are two tasks for both versions of the

exam.

In terms of the content of Task 1 they are quite different. The general version involves writing a 150word letter, whereas the academic version requires writing a 150 word report based on data in a

chart or table, describing a process, or describing or comparing information on a map. For task 2,
http://www.ieltsanswers.com/http://www.ieltsanswers.com/


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both versions of the test require writing a 250 word essay. Both versions have a separate question

on any given exam day, but the topics and types of essays seem to be about the same.

In terms of the grading, the same four criteria are used to assess both versions of the exam (Task

Response, Cohesion and coherence, Vocabulary, Grammar). As well as this the same people

(examiners) assess the tasks. So, from this perspective they can be considered as equally

challenging to pass.

However, the general exam is easier to prepare for, and less likely to lead to a nasty surprise on

exam day because task 1 only involves leaning how to write a few styles of letters, whereas the

academic version requires the students to learn how to write about a wide variety of charts,

different time periods, and passive tense in order to be able to write about processes and maps.

>sing examples to impro#e your paragraphcoherence

A common problem with IELTS writing is that either examples are not used, or they are used

poorly. In this lesson you will find

a 9uic test to see how well you understand coherence and the use of examples 0 suggestions on how to use examples well a list of voca#ulary to help you do this

A reminder about coherence and examples

The essential idea of coherence is that the ideas in your writing combine together to form one

whole. The goal is to write in such a way that the reader/examiner immediately sees the

connections in your writing and understands what you are trying to say. Arguably, a well-written

and coherent piece of writing only needs to be read once to be understood. This is where

examples come in. Examplescanmake your writing easier to read #y illustrating your main points easier to write$ as often it is easier to explain an example than argue a complex

idea

6ot all examples wor! a little test

It is not just enough, however, to use examples.Your examples need to illustrate your main

ideasif you want to be coherent.A badly used example can make your writing confused andconfusing. Take a look at the two paragraphs below. One example works, the other doesnt.

Which is which?


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Close Me

There are three principal reasons why people commit crimes. The first of these is that they may be

career criminals who have made an active choice to make their living illegally. A second reason

reason relates to the environment they grew up in: a possible illustration of this is if they have been

subject to peer group pressure at an early age to join a gang that terrorised the neighbourhood.

Finally, it is sometimes argued that genetic factors play a role and that some people cannot be

blamed for their criminal actions because they are naturally predisposed to commit crimes.

It is possible to argue that more effective education would lead to a decrease in the crime rate and

that prison is an ineffective deterrent. People who argue in favour of prison often claim that it is not

only the most appropriate way to punish offenders, it also prevents crimes from being

committed. For example, many young people join gangs at an early age due to peer group

pressure and they are led into a life of crime in later life because of the choices they made when

they were younger.

Close Me

This first paragraph works well. It is a listing paragraph with a clear main point in the first sentence

saying there are 3 reasons. The next 3 sentences each state one reason (this is one form of

coherence).

I have highlighted in red an example that clearly relates to and explains the idea in the secondsentence about how environment can affect crime

There are three principal reasons why people commit crimes. The first of these is that they may be

career criminals who have made an active choice to make their living illegally. A second reason

reason relates to the environment they grew up in:a possible illustration of this is if they have been

subject to peer group pressure at an early age to join a gang that terrorised the neighbourhood.

Finally, it is sometimes argued that genetic factors play a role and that some people cannot be

blamed for their criminal actions because they are naturally predisposed to commit crimes.

This paragraph does not really work. It has plenty of good language but the ideas and how they

relate to each other are not especially clear. The first sentence has two main ideas (always

dangerous), one about education, the other about prison being a deterrent.The idea of education is

not explained in the paragraph this is incoherent. The other main problem is that the example in

red does not clearly relate to the main ideas of the paragraph. This also is incoherent

It is not enough to use examples, you need to show how they relate to your main idea.

It is possible to argue that more effective education would lead to a decrease in the crime rate and

that prison is an ineffective deterrent. People who argue in favour of prison often claim that it is not

only the most appropriate way to punish offenders, it also prevents crimes from being

committed.For example, many young people join gangs at an early age due to peer group
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pressure and they are led into a life of crime in later life because of the choices they made when

they were younger.

Tip one organise your paragraphs around one main idea

You can only really write coherent examples if your paragraphs area coherent. What this means in

practice is that your paragraphs need to be centred on one main idea almost always stated in thefirst sentence. The example you choose should relate to that idea.

(It is of course possible to include more than one idea in a paragraph. What you need to do here is

follow my example above and say in the first sentence that there are different ideas here.)

Tip two you dont ha#e to include all your ideas@examples learn to select

One reason why paragraphs (and essays) go wrong is that the student tries to include everything

s/he knows in an effort to impress the examiner. This does not work in IELTS. It is a language test,

not an IQ test, and there is a limit to how many ideas you can fit into a 250-300 word essay. This

means that you need to select only the examples that illustrate your main points. Put another

way,you may need to leave out ideas that do not fit your main point. This is particularly good

advice for high level candidates in the planning stage.

Tip three for example is not the best way to introduce anexample

Almost certainly, the most common way of introducing examples is to use for example. My

suggestion is that you try some other ways of introducing examples. The key idea is touse a

phrase that clearly links the example to the main idea. Look at these:

A example of howenvironmental factors can lead to crime is..

This can be illustrated by

clearly illustrates howenvironmental factors may contribute to crime.

One instance that shows howenvironmental factors may lead to crime is ..

The point to note is that in each case the example is introduced so that it links to the point it is

supposed to be illustrating.

Tip four 1ust say how the example illustrates the main point (


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not be very severe if they are caught. For example,a petty thief who might take the risk of a gaol

term of 6 months would not risk 20 years for the same crime.This leads to the conclusionthat

longer gaol terms for repeat offenders are an effective deterrent.

Cohesion and using pronounsCohesion is a large part of your writing score in IELTS and definitely needs to be studied. It may

seem technical or difficult. It neednt be it includes using some of the simplest words in English

well. The idea here is to show you some of the ways you can use pronouns to make your writing

flow better and easier to read thats what cohesion is. What youll find is a brief reminder of what

pronouns are, some handy tips on how to use them to avoid common mistakes and a series of

exercises to show you different ways you can use them to your advantage.

I would like to emphasise thata key to understanding cohesion is that it is absolutely not just

a question of learning a list of linking phrases and using them at the beginning of each

sentence. To understand this you may want to check out myintroductory lesson on cohesionfirst,

where you can also find a simple list of different ways to achieve cohesion.

hat are pronouns and how do they wor!:
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The first step is naturally to think about what pronouns are. Dont let the name put you off, they are

among the first words you learned in English and you use them all the time in any case. Perhaps

the best way to show you what they are is if you try this quick exercise. I have written a short

passage and taken the pronouns out all you have to do is put them back in. As you work through

the exercise you should note how:

pronouns can lin #oth di+erent sentences and parts of the same sentence

pronouns can help you avoid repetition pronouns do have some grammar too ! so you need to #e a#le to choose (they)

or (their) for instance pronouns can refer #ac to one word or #ac to a whole group of words

Quick quiz on cohesion and pronouns

#uestion $

%&''(%)

4here are a num#er of di+erent ways of ensuring that your writing lins together$

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC teachers call cohesion.

something that

Band

C #ut

Dfurthermore

#uestion $ (xplanation

ote how cohesion wors inside sentences. Esomething thatE refers #ac to"lins to

the rst part of the sentence& E4here are a num#er of di+erent ways of ensuring thatyour writing lins togetherE. 5o cohesion is a way of lining the di+erent parts of your

sentences together. 4he EthatE here is a form of relative pronoun.

#uestion *

4here are a num#er of di+erent ways of ensuring that your writing lins together 8

something that teachers call cohesion. ne of CCCCCCCCCC is$ of course$ to use the

normal lining words such as (furthermore) and (moreover).

Athis


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Bthat

Cthose

Dthese

#uestion +

It would #e a mistae$ however$ to thin that CCCCCC is the only method of achieving

cohesion #ecause there are in fact other options CCCCCCCwor 7ust as well and$

sometimes$ much #etter.

Athis"which

Bthese"who

Cthose"that

#uestion

Indeed$ the a#ility to employ a range of cohesive devices and not 7ust the normal

lining words is one of the eys to good writing. It can also #e argued that

learners ----------only concentrate on using --------words write less cohesively as a

result.

Awhich"that

Bwho"those

Cnot"those


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#uestion

)his is particularly the case when learners use a lining phrase such as (as a matter

of factF) wrongly #ecause------fail to realise thatithas 9uite an exact meaning and

can only #e used in some cases.

A

of

Bto

Cthey

Dthem

Etheir

#uestion

My personal recommendation is that learnerswhowish to improve the cohesion

of_________writing should concentrate not on the traditional linking words, rather

thattheyshould think about how using pronouns well can link their writing together much more

effectively.

Athey

Bthem

Ctheir

nce you are nished$ clic the #utton #elow. Any items you have not completed will

#e mared incorrect.et 'esults

,ou have completed 1"G 9uestions .

,our score is 166H.


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1ist

uic! pronoun re#iew some different ways pronouns can helpyou

Here are just a few of the ways in which pronouns can help you:

1. Personal pronouns and repetition

These are words such as I you he etc. They are helpful because they allow you to avoid

repetition and repetition when repeated too often can be a problem. Look at:

Some peoplebelieve that capital punishment is justified for the most serious crimes such as

murder and crimes against humanity.These peoplesay that ..

The repetition of people here is plain ugly. Much better is achieve coherence by using the

pronounthey

Some peoplebelieve that capital punishment is justified for the most serious crimes such as

murder and crimes against humanity.Theysay that ..

2. Demonstrative pronounsfor linking sentences

These are such as this that these and those. One of the best ways to use them is to link

different sentences together. You can link forwards to the next sentence, even to something that

may not be in the text, or you can link backwards. Here Im concentrating just on that last idea to

make your writing cohesive you should aim to refer back to something you wrote before. Heres an

example from my essay on prisons:

The first set of circumstances when community work is the appropriate sanction is for less serious

offences when the offender shows remorse for his actions.Part of the reason for thisis that it may

be wrong to take away someones livelihood by sending them to prison,

The idea here is that when you start a new sentence you want to make it easy for the

reader/examiner to understand how it links to the previous sentence. Here the phrasePart of the

reason for thisshows the examiner that you are talking about the same thing as the previous

sentence the key word beingthis.3. Relative pronouns for joining different parts of sentences together

Relative pronouns are the who, that, which,when words. They are super useful for joining

parts of sentences together. Look at this example:

These buildings are being replaced for a variety of reasons. These reasons largely depend on the

original purpose of the building and the needs of the community.

The writing is cohesive with the these, but it is ugly. We can do better with a relative, try:

These buildings are being replaced for a variety of reasonswhichlargely depend on the original

purpose of the building and the needs of the community.


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The writing is just as cohesive as before only now the grammar is more sophisticated and we

have avoided some needless repetition.

4. A top tip old information comes first

A standard guideline is to start sentences with old information (from the previous sentence). If you

dothis(use old information first), you will almost certainly start to use pronouns likethisin an

intelligent way.

/ome phrases to help you be more cohesi#e with pronouns

Sometimes the best way to learn how to use language is to learn a few phrases first. That can work

here too. Try these for size:

Part of the reason for this is

This is because

One way of explaining this is

An interesting example of this is

(You might like to note how these phrases also help you write more coherently that is linking your

ideas together.)

Test yourself again

paragraph 1 this exercise looks at the same paragraph as above. Your task is to put the

paragraph back together again by looking at how the pronouns link the writing

paragraph 2 this is a different type of exercise. This time I ask you to look at the little words in a

short paragraph and try and put them back in. Not all of them are pronouns, but you should see

how important this type of word is in your writing.

essay this time I give you one of my essays to read and you have to complete some gaps by

putting the pronouns back in. You should note here that some of the gaps include pronoun

phrases.

2ootnote which isnt really a footnote at all does cohesion

only apply to writing:Certainly not. Cohesion is as much a part of the spoken language as it is the written language.

Indeed, one of the best ways of thinking about cohesion is to think about the ways you link your

spoken thoughts together nearly all the techniques you use there also apply to writing. You use

pronouns when you speak, right?
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hy you should plan essays in 45T/This is another guest article, this time from Mike Wattie ofIELTSanswers. Mike has lots of

experience in examining and his site has all sorts of useful advice for exam preparation and offers

an essay correction service that Im sure will be of interest to many candidates, its always sensible

to have your writing checked before you get to the exam and there are few people better qualified

to help you out than Mike. If Taiwan is the wrong time zone, then why not check one of the other

tutors on theTeachers page.

In this article he makes a simple point about the need to plan your writing and then suggests some

practical ways you can do this. Id add that there isalwaystime to plan the essay: the better you

plan, the better and more quickly you write.

Planning your essays

On a few occasions I have been an invigilator (person to make sure no one is cheating!) in the

writing exam. I was amazed to see that only about 10% just started writing their essays withoutwriting any plan first. Afterwards, I asked some of my students who were attending why they didnt

write a plan. oh we thought we didnt have time to do it.
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The plan serves three purposes. First, it helps you think about the main points you will write, so it

increases your score for Task Response. Second, it helps you structure your essay better, so it

increases your score for Cohesion and Coherence. Finally, it saves you time. Thats right! By

making a plan first, you wont have to keep stopping to think what you will write next.

Each essay question is composed of two parts. The TOPIC, which is what the essay is about; and

the TASK, which is what sort of essay you need to write. There are three main types of essays. The

first asks you opinion, or do you agree or disagree. The second asks you to explain two sides of an

argument and then give your own personal opinion on that topic. The third asks you two questions;

for example, discuss the problems and solutions.

You should learn how to plan for all three types of essays. You can practice your planning by

looking at past exam questions and thinking what would be your main points and how would you

structure the essay. If you need someone to correct your essays and give feedback on how to

improve checkout my service at:http://ieltsanswers.com/IELTS-Essay-Correction.html

"0 ways to ma!e your writing more academicThis lesson looks at 10 different ways to make your writing academic or more formal. I talk you

through some of the more important dos and donts to help you write essays that use the right sort

of language.

Academic@formal and 45T/

How important is it to be academic in IELTS? Well. You need to write an essay and the convention

is that essays use academic language. So your goal should be toreasonablyformal/academic.

That said, conventions vary around the world and there is nothing specifically in the marking

criteria about formality of language. What you really need to do is make sure you avoid

beingtooinformal/non-academic.

In practice, this means you need to followmostof the guidelines below, but you shouldnt becomeobsessive about it. These are guidelines and not rules.

Test yourself first

This quiz gives you 8 sentences. 4 of them are more academic and 4 are less academic. Your job

is simple decide which is which. The goal is to get 8 out of 8.

Academic language

2tart

(oints to a#oid in academic writing

This is a short form guide to some of the donts in academic writing.
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". /hort forms of #erbs

We dont use short forms of verbs (dont/cant etc) when we write more academically. So this

example doesnt work:

Idontthinkitsvery important for small kids to learn English.

$. 4mprecise language

When we write academically, we tend to use more precise language. So these examples dontwork:

I dont think its very important forsmall kidsto learn English.

This isthe best thingtodo.

&. >se idiomatic language

This is not a rule there are sometimes when you will find idiomatic language in academic writing.

However, there are idioms and idioms and idioms. The more colourful the idiom, the less likely

you are to use it in academic writing. So, this idiom is inappropriate:

If we do that, then we mightthrow the baby out with the bathwater.

while this idiom is much weaker and acceptable

On balance, this would seem to be the most appropriatecourse of action.

'. /tart sentences with and and but

A difficult one. If you read almost any language course book, you are almost certain to find

sentences that begin with and and but in the reading texts. Language changes and it is

becoming more and more acceptable to do this. However, in academic writing for second language

speakers, this should be avoided. So this is unacceptable for most teachers:

Butthe most important thing is that the government find outs what the real needs are.

And needs to be transformed into:

The immediate priority, however,is for the government to conduct a needs analysis.

). (hrasal #erbs +$@& word #erbs,

Phrasal verbs (a species of idiom) are an important part of the language, but we tend to avoid them

where we can in academic writing and choose a different verb. So

But the most important thing is that the governmentfind outswhat the real needsare.

needs to be transformed into

The immediate priority, however, is for the government toconducta needs analysis.

. (ersonal pronouns

A big area. Academic writing tends to be relatively impersonal and so we try to avoid over-usingpersonal pronouns. This does not mean that you cant use them, you just need to be careful how

you do it. If it is important to show that something is your personal opinion, then I or my can be

acceptable. The one pronoun to avoid is the informal you.


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Idont think its very important for small kids to learn English.

More academic #ariations

". (recise language

Typically, academic language is more precise. This means that we try to use language that is

accurate as possible. Properly speaking, children are notsmallthey areyoung

It is doubtful whether it is particularly important foryoung childrento study English.

and the government is going tofind outbyconducting a needs analysis

The immediate priority, however, is for the government toconduct a needs analysis.

$. 4mpersonal language and passi#es

Typically, even many personal opinions are put in impersonal language and it is left to the reader to

understand that what is being said is the authors own view. Probably, the most common structure

here isIt is

It is doubtfulwhether it is particularly important for young children to study English.

The passive is not 100% academic and it is quite possible to use it in all forms of speaking and

writing. However, one of its uses is in academic writing as it is one way of not using too many

personal pronouns

Weshould let people do any sport they want to.

can be changed to

Peopleshould be allowedto participate in whatever sport they choose.

&. Cautious language

This is really to do with opinions. The more academic we become, the more we hedge or weakenopinions/statements that are strong. In practice, what this means is that we use a lot of possibility

and probability type words when we write academically. For example:

This solution isperhapstoo radical and may cause as many problems as it solves.

On balance, thiswould seem tobe the most appropriate course of action.

'. ;eneral academic #ocabulary

Finally, there are just some words we use more when we write academically. If you have a

language background, English is essentially the marriage of two languages old German and Latinand for historical reasons we tend to use the words with a Latin origin when we write academically.

Many of these words can be found in the academic word list:

People should beallowedtoparticipate inwhatever sport they choose.

Thissolutionis perhaps tooradicaland may cause as many problems as it solves.

On balance, this would seem to be the mostappropriatecourse of action.

It is doubtful whether it isparticularlyimportant for young children to study English.

I must add here that this absolutely does not mean long words good, short words bad.

A sample essay


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To see how this works, try looking at this sample essay. You will find two parallel versions of it. One

is more formal/academic and the other isnt. I have highlighted the major differences between the

two versions.

Close Me

In the modern world, wefrequentlyno longer rely on food that has been grown locally, but wehave

become accustomed tobuyingproducefrom all over the world. While this trendhas some clear

benefitsto consumers,I would arguethat overall transporting food over long distances isa

negative.

In the modern world, we oftendontrely on food that has been grown locally, but wehave got used

tobuyingfoodfrom all over the world. While this trendis good forconsumers,I thinkthat overall

transporting food over long distances isnot a good thing.

Thestrongestargument against importing food is environmental.Studies have shownthat

transport and the use of fossil fuels isone of the leadingcauses of global warming and climate

change. This means that if we want to lead a greener lifestyle, we should be tryingto

minimisetransport and this includesthe unnecessarytransport of foodstuffs.

Thebiggestargument against importing food is environmental.We knowthat transport and the use

of fossil fuels isthe biggestcause of global warming and climate change. This means that if we

want to lead a greener lifestyle, we should try not to use transportso muchand this includes

transporting of foodstuffswhen we dont have to.

Another point thatneeds to be consideredisthe impactof transporting food on local farmers and

traditional ways of life. Again,there is good research to showthat farmers and smallholders

areunable tocompete in price with the supermarkets that import cheap, and often low-quality,

produce from abroad. This is not just a problem for local farmers whoare likely togo out ofbusiness, it alsohas an impact onweakening traditional communities thatrely onthose farms for

employment and trade.

Another point is that transporting foodis bad forlocal farmers and traditional ways of life.This is

becausefarmers and smallholders cannot compete in price with the supermarkets that import

cheap, and often low-quality, produce from abroad. This is not just a problem for local farmers who

will go out of business, it also weakens traditional communities that need those farms for

employment and trade.

A further consideration isthat food that has travelled across the world isconsiderably less

healthythan locally grown, fresh produce. The point is thatthe further food travelsbefore it

reaches the consumer,the less fresh it will beandany nutritionistwill confirmthat fresh food

isfuller of vitamins.Therefore, itwould be preferableif supermarkets and other stores did not

transport food from other countries.

We should also thinkhow food that has travelled across the world isnot as good for youas locally

grown, fresh produce. This is because if food travelsa lot of milesbefore it reaches the consumer,

itwont be very freshandexperts say thatfresh food isbetter for you.So, in my opinion,

supermarkets and other storesshouldnttransport food from other countries.

In conclusion, Ibelievethat the trend for transporting food over long distances

isundesirablebecause it isenvironmentally unfriendly,threatenslocal communities andresults

inless healthy options for the consumer.
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In conclusion, Ithinkthat the trend for transporting food over long distances iswrongbecause it

isnot good forthe environment, it isbad forlocal communities and means consumers eat less

healthily.

Band score 8.0 range of #ocabularyThis is the next in my series of lessons in how to achieve a high band score in IELTS essays. This

time the focus is on vocabulary. There is no magic bullet here vocabulary learning takes time.

Thats the bad news. What I do do though is to talk you through some of the more common

problems with vocabulary in essays and give you some tips on avoiding them. Youll also find a

bonus essay to download.

A sample essay wea! #ocabulary

Read through this sample essay. It is well structured and addresses the question, but it is weak onvocab. Can you see what the problems are?

We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important One of the signs of this is

the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view

is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.

The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and can


spectators too can be badly injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be

hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is

understandable why people want the government to ban these sports.


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The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone

wants to jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the government cannot say what

they should do. Many dangerous sports are also not very risky and it is as dangerous doing

everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.

I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should

also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most important

thing. This is most important for young children.

/eeing the problems repetition

One of the most common problems is you can get stuck on certain words. This frequently

happens with words in the question itself. To some extent this is unavoidable and you will see my

improved version retains quite a lot of repetition there is simply less of it.

/ee the repetition corrected

Tip thin! of #ocabulary before you start writing

The idea is quite simple. If you think of the words you want to use before you write, then you can

use them. On the other hand, if you start writing too quickly, then it becomes much harder to try

and vary your vocab.

Tip repetition should be on e#eryones editing chec!list

One of my top tips is that everyone should have a mental checklist of the type of errors they look

for when they check their work Im going to look for any mistake doesnt really work. The point

here is that even the best writers can subconsciously get stuck on words and keep on repeating

them if they are not careful.

Tip if you cant find another word- repeat it in a different form

Sometimes there is only one correct word. In this case, the best advice is not to find another word

that may well be wrong, but to change the word slightly. This can mean using the noun form and

not the verb form (banbecomesimpose a ban on)or to qualify it with another word

sobanbecomesban entirely.

/eeing the problems a#oid language that is too simple

In general, I am a fan of the simple. There are times, however, when you want to upgrade your

English, in particular

avoiding words lie (#ig) that are not normally used in more formal writtennglish

avoiding words lie (do) unless they are part of a set phrase ! there is almostalways a #etter variation

nding variations for words such as (very) to show your range thining a#out collocations 'phrases*

Close Me

We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important. One of the signs of

this peoplewantthe government to ban dangerous sports. While I understand that argument, my

view is that people should be free todowhatever sports theywant.
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We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. One of the signs of this isthe

demandthat dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, my view is

that, within certain limits, people should retain the freedomto participate inwhatever sports

theychoose.

Thebiggestreason for objecting to dangerous sports is that they can beverydangerous and can


spectators too can bebadlyhurt. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may

be hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is

understandable why peoplewantthe government to ban these sports.

Theprincipalreason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can behighlydangerous


spectators too can beseriouslyinjured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not

escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd.

Given this level of danger, it is understandable why peoplecall forthe authorities to take action.

The opposite argument is that people should be free todowhatever risk they want. So, if

someonewantsto jump out of a plane, then they should be allowed to and the

government cannotsaywhat they shoulddo. A further point is that many dangerous sports are

notveryrisky and it is as dangerousdoingeveryday activities such as crossing the road or cooking

a meal as bungee jumping.

The counter argument is that people should be allowedto assume whatever riskthey choose. So,

if someonewishesto freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it

should be accepted that it is not the place of the government todictate how they lead their lives. A

further point is that in statistical terms there isa low probability of injuryin many so-called

dangerous sports and people are at greater riskcarrying outeveryday activities such as crossingthe road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.

I thinkthat the government should regulate dangerous sports,butit should not ban them. It should

also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most

importantthing. This is most important for young children who cannot make their own decisions.

My personal view isthatwhilethe government and other authorities do need to regulate dangerous

sports, it would be preferable not to impose a ban on them entirely. I would suggest that

safeguards need to be established so that any risk is minimised. What these safeguards are will

vary from sport to sport, butsafety has to be paramount, especially where minors are involved.Tip when you learn #ocabulary- learn phrases and not 1ust words

Part of solution to this problem is to learn phrases. For example, you are much more likely to be

able to use participate, if you have first learnt the phrase participate in a sport.

2inding solutions thin! examples for precise language

This is one of my fa#ourite suggestions. The idea is that if you learn to use examples well- you get

to use language that is precise and sometimes relati#ely simple. Ta!e a loo! at this re#ised

#ersions of the examples. the re#isions may seem 3uite small- but 4 get to use precise

language a good thing.

The counter argument is that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk they choose. So,

if someone wishes tofreefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it


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should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A

further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called

dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing

the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.

The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous


spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not

escape unharmed and there is also a chance thata bouncing tyreordebris will fly into the crowd.

Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for the authorities to take action.

2inding solutions be academic and use 3ualifying language

Part of the academic writing skill is learning to qualify what you say so that it is not too general.

Take a look at these two examples of qualifying phrases I add in to the improved version. Again,

the changes may seem small but taken together they can have a significant effect on your writing.

We live in a world where health and safety is an ever greater priority. ne of the signs

of this is the demand that dangerous sports should #e #anned. While I understand thatargument$ my view is that$within certain limits$people should retain the freedom to

participate in whatever sports they choose.

4he counter argument is that people should #e allowed to assume whatever ris they

choose. 5o$ if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 36$666 feet$ then they should

#e free to do so and it should #e accepted that it is not the place of the government

to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical termsthere is a

low pro#a#ility of in7ury in many so8calleddangerous sports and people are at greater

ris carrying out everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooing a meal as

#ungee 7umping.

2inding solutions focus your #ocabulary learning on academic#ocabulary

4his is in many ways the #ig one. %earning voca#ulary taes time. ne excellent way

to do it is simply to read and listen as much as possi#le. ,ou will a#sor# more new

words that way than #y sitting down and studying any word list. owever$ there is a

however. 4o get a high #and score$ you want to learn the (right) words to use in

essays. 4his is where theacademic word listcomes to your help.

Academic #ocabulary and 45T/

Certain words in English are simply more academic than others. This does not necessarily mean

they are difficult words, it just means native speakers tend to use them more when they are

writing more formally. They are in other words exactly the sort of words you want in IELTS. Take

these examples from the improved essay:

retain principal

assume participate in

4hese are all excellent words to (learn) as they can #e used in all sorts of di+erent

contexts. All I would add is that you also need to learn how to use them and that is

where my daily word exercises come in.
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xercise on the A5 words in the essay

To see my point, have a go at this exercise based on improved essay:

AWL words in dangerous sports

=ow to structure 45T/ essaysThis lesson shows you a simple way to structure IELTS essays. Below I show a very simple

method (with a downloadable resource) I use myself and also show my students in class.

%ead and understand the 3uestion

One key to it is understand the question and to be clear about what you want to say in your

response. Clear thinking leads to clear writing.As ever, the first step is to read and understand the

question. Here is the question today:

Despite advances in medicine there are concerns that certain diseases such as diabetes

are increasing and some people believe future generations will face greater problems with

health and die younger than we do today.

What is your opinion?

This question asks you to:

1. give your opinion ! this must #e clear in the introduction and the conclusion

2. a#out whether health will #e #etter in future ! this means that you need to tala#out the future and now ! there must #e some comparison

3. a#out whether people will live longer ! this needs to #e mentioned to

All these things must be included.
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Thin! about the examiner ma!e your opinion and structureclear gi#e your essay a bac!bone

IELTS essays get marked quickly. You dont want to allow the examiner to make a mistake. So

make life easy for him/her by showing the structure of your essay as clearly as possible. There are

4 places you do this what I think of as beingthe spine of the essay. (your spine is your

backbone its what keeps you upright and gives you your structure).

1. the introduction ! that


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Download my plan to structure 45T/ essays

5tructure I%45 essays plan '26G:*

Thin! clearly about your opinion@point of #iew

You want your point of view to be clear. My basic rule is that if you cant say in 2 sentences, its too

complex.So part of the planning process may be deleting ideas that are too complex or that you

cant express clearly in English.
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/ee my example

Im going to go for a balanced type essay with an argument that it health and longevity (living for a

long time) wi

Band Score 8

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Transcript of Band Score 8