BBullying ullying ??

WhatWhat is Bullying?is Bullying?•Bullying is harming Bullying is harming others others repeatedly repeatedly and and over time.over time.

A bully carries out negative actions on A bully carries out negative actions on someone who has difficulty being able to someone who has difficulty being able to defend himself/herself. The bully uses:defend himself/herself. The bully uses:

• Physical Contact• Words• Indirect ways such as:

- Spreading rumors - Intentionally excluding someone from a group

Bullying is:

• Classified as proactive aggression

• Done by one person or by a group

• Is an unfair match since the bully is either physically, verbally, and/or socially stronger than the victim

• Most bullies have weak to nonexistent father figures

(Berdondini & Smith as cited by Curtner-Smith)

Facts about Bullies:

Bullying has been implicated in many schoolshootings, including March 2001 slayings of two students in Santee, CA and 1999Massacre of 13 at Columbine High School.

Factors in the Home Environment:

• Family relationships of bullies tend to be troubled.• Parents of bullies are hostile, rejecting, and Indifferent.• The parents frequently use punishment that is some form of harsh power combined with violent emotional outbursts (Olweus as cited by Curtner- Smith, 2000• Most bullies have weak to nonexistent father figures (Berdondini & Smith as cited by Curtner-Smith)

Bullying has changed in recent Bullying has changed in recent years to be more intense in years to be more intense in frequency and seriousness frequency and seriousness (Beane, 1999)(Beane, 1999)

• Bullies are not generally popular; howeverBullies are not generally popular; however some bullies are popular and even leaders ofsome bullies are popular and even leaders of aggressive groups like high impact sports or aggressive groups like high impact sports or

even gangs (Pellegrini et al.).even gangs (Pellegrini et al.).• They may target hot tempered students who They may target hot tempered students who

lose control.lose control.

More facts:More facts:

• Other research shows that people who were Other research shows that people who were bullied as children are prone to depression bullied as children are prone to depression and low self-esteem as adults and that bullies and low self-esteem as adults and that bullies are more likely to engage in criminal behavior.are more likely to engage in criminal behavior.

• Bullying intervention programs in England and Bullying intervention programs in England and Norway have shown that school based Norway have shown that school based intervention programs can reduce bullying by intervention programs can reduce bullying by 30-50% (Olweus).30-50% (Olweus).

• Bullies are more likely to have poor grades, Bullies are more likely to have poor grades, smoke, and drink alcohol.smoke, and drink alcohol.

Types of Bullying Types of Bullying

•RejectionRejection - Young people fear- Young people fear

rejection. They crave rejection. They crave

acceptance and will do just acceptance and will do just

about anything to get it.about anything to get it.

TerrorizingTerrorizing

Terrorizing is the use of fear to Terrorizing is the use of fear to torment and manipulate.torment and manipulate.

- Perpetrators do this to: - Perpetrators do this to: • Achieve dominance• Obtain payoffs like: - Money - Material items - Status with peers - Power

IsolatingIsolating

This involves cutting someone This involves cutting someone off from essential relationships. off from essential relationships. The irony is that isolating The irony is that isolating students can actually drive students can actually drive them to pair up in their them to pair up in their estrangement from the larger estrangement from the larger group and become dangerous.group and become dangerous.

CorruptingCorrupting

Influencing a student to learn ways of Influencing a student to learn ways of thinking, speaking, and acting that make thinking, speaking, and acting that make him or her increasingly unfit for normal him or her increasingly unfit for normal healthy experiences. Examples include:healthy experiences. Examples include:- Students who speak, using angry and obscene language.- Students who are antisocial.- Students who mock those who work hard in school.- Students who endorse negative activities like cutting class. (Garbarino, 2003)- Gesture Abuse

• Threatening or obscene gestures• Menacing stares• Deliberately turning away to ignore someone (Rigby, 2001)

Effects of Bully’s BehaviorEffects of Bully’s Behavior

• Many students are frightened.Many students are frightened.

• A climate of fear exists in the classroom.A climate of fear exists in the classroom.

• Some students think it is funny when they see the immature Some students think it is funny when they see the immature behavior of a bully.behavior of a bully.

• School time is wasted.School time is wasted.

• Students who are being bullied are threatened and become Students who are being bullied are threatened and become highly emotional and upset and afraid to come to school.highly emotional and upset and afraid to come to school.

• Physically weak students may follow the bully for protection.Physically weak students may follow the bully for protection.

• The teacher may loose power in the classroom.The teacher may loose power in the classroom.

• A negative atmosphere is created.A negative atmosphere is created.

• The teacher may become afraid of the bully.The teacher may become afraid of the bully.

Girls demonstrate their Girls demonstrate their aggressiveness by:aggressiveness by:

• SlanderSlander

• Spreading of rumorsSpreading of rumors

• Intentional exclusion of the groupIntentional exclusion of the group

• Manipulation of friendship relationsManipulation of friendship relations

• Malicious gossipMalicious gossip

• BackstabbingBackstabbing

• Lying about othersLying about others

It is believed that this is because the It is believed that this is because the media is beginning to glamorize this. media is beginning to glamorize this. (Prothrow-Smith, 2002)(Prothrow-Smith, 2002)

An interesting fact about girl victims is that girls who mature early are commonly victims of bullying. (Viadero, 1997)

Five Mistakes Teachers Make with BulliesFive Mistakes Teachers Make with Bullies

What You need to do Instead!What You need to do Instead!

Publicly put down the bully.

This is often done with the intention of helping the victim feel better. It backfires because the bully feels like “he has lost face” in front of his peers.

Threaten the bully.Threaten the bully.

Threats do not work with this child. It Threats do not work with this child. It is better to tell the bully what to is better to tell the bully what to expect and then always follow expect and then always follow through.through.

Treat the bully Treat the bully inconsistently.inconsistently.

The bully, like other children, needs The bully, like other children, needs consistency and structure. Always treat consistency and structure. Always treat the bully so that he/she knows what to the bully so that he/she knows what to expect.expect.

Try and bribe the bully.Try and bribe the bully.

This only adds fuel to the bully’s need This only adds fuel to the bully’s need to feel important in negative ways. to feel important in negative ways. Instead, work with the bully to have Instead, work with the bully to have the bully come up with consequences the bully come up with consequences for his/her own behavior.for his/her own behavior.

Overlook the bully’s Overlook the bully’s BehaviorBehavior

Correct Behavior immediatelyCorrect Behavior immediately

Implementing an Anti-Bullying Implementing an Anti-Bullying ProgramProgram• The BasicsThe Basics - Awareness-raising of students, faculty, and parents- Awareness-raising of students, faculty, and parents

- Consultation with parents, school psychologists, and outside - Consultation with parents, school psychologists, and outside sources sources

- Development of draft policy and procedures including data - Development of draft policy and procedures including data based monitoring protocolbased monitoring protocol

- Finalize and disseminate policies and procedures with - Finalize and disseminate policies and procedures with students, parents, teachers, and staff.students, parents, teachers, and staff.

- Training of teachers and staff.- Training of teachers and staff.

- Implementation of program.- Implementation of program.

- Evaluation and adjustments as needed on a regular basis. - Evaluation and adjustments as needed on a regular basis. (Carney and Merrell)(Carney and Merrell)

The How-To’s for handling The How-To’s for handling bulliesbullies

• Class DiscussionsClass Discussions - Who can tell me what bullying is?- Who can tell me what bullying is?

- What happens to people who are bullied?- What happens to people who are bullied?

- How do you think bullies feel?- How do you think bullies feel?

- What’s it like to see someone get bullied?- What’s it like to see someone get bullied?

- Do you think that bullying is a problem in our - Do you think that bullying is a problem in our classroom?classroom?

- Who would like to have a bully-free classroom?- Who would like to have a bully-free classroom?

- What do we do to make our classroom bully-free?- What do we do to make our classroom bully-free?

Discuss the NO-BULLY Discuss the NO-BULLY POLICYPOLICY

Have the children discuss what it Have the children discuss what it means to have a “no-bully” policy. means to have a “no-bully” policy. Students learn to refuse to join in or Students learn to refuse to join in or watch bullying.watch bullying.

Students learn to say, “Don’t do or Students learn to say, “Don’t do or say that. It’s not right.” (Beane, say that. It’s not right.” (Beane, 1999)1999)

OUR CLASSROOMOUR CLASSROOM

• We treat each other with respect.We treat each other with respect.

• We speak up if we see others being treated unfairly.We speak up if we see others being treated unfairly.

• We like it that people are different.We like it that people are different.

• We don’t have to all dress the same or act the same.We don’t have to all dress the same or act the same.

• We try to solve problems peacefully.We try to solve problems peacefully.

• We treat each other the way we want to be treated.We treat each other the way we want to be treated.

• We have the right to be ourselves.We have the right to be ourselves.

• We have the right to be safe.We have the right to be safe.

• We speak up if we think there is something that is We speak up if we think there is something that is not safe.not safe.

Empathy: The #1 Link to Empathy: The #1 Link to Changing Bully BehaviorChanging Bully Behavior

•It’s very important to teach bullies to It’s very important to teach bullies to have appropriate REMORSE.have appropriate REMORSE.

EMPATHYEMPATHY

• Empathy is the ability to identify with Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand how another person and understand how another person feels. It is the ability to put yourself feels. It is the ability to put yourself into someone else’s place.into someone else’s place.

EmpathyEmpathy

• It is important to have empathy It is important to have empathy in order to build positive in order to build positive relationships.relationships.

•Children need to be taught to Children need to be taught to empathize not only for those empathize not only for those people whom they know in their people whom they know in their families, but for others as well.families, but for others as well.

Ask students questions.Ask students questions.

• ““How do you feel, knowing you have How do you feel, knowing you have hurt Nita?”hurt Nita?”

• ““How does it feel when someone How does it feel when someone takes something of yours?”takes something of yours?”

• ““What are you going to do so Nita What are you going to do so Nita feels better?”feels better?”

““How would you feel…”How would you feel…”

• If you were new in school?If you were new in school?

• If you were the shortest kid in school?If you were the shortest kid in school?

• If you were the most popular student in If you were the most popular student in school?school?

• If you had a tough home life?If you had a tough home life?

• If you did not feel attractive?If you did not feel attractive?

• If you could not hear well?If you could not hear well?

• If you had to wear thick glasses?If you had to wear thick glasses?

3 Important Rules for Bullies3 Important Rules for Bullies

• We will not bully other students.We will not bully other students.• We will help others who are being bullied We will help others who are being bullied

by speaking out and by getting adult by speaking out and by getting adult help.help.

• We will use extra effort to include all We will use extra effort to include all students in activities at our school.students in activities at our school.

-Viaadro, 1997-Viaadro, 1997

Relevant Take Back Strategies Relevant Take Back Strategies How to Reduce and Stop How to Reduce and Stop BullyingBullying

Educators need to make sure Educators need to make sure children know that they need adult children know that they need adult help to deal with bullies because of help to deal with bullies because of the power imbalance that occurs.the power imbalance that occurs.

Convey a “can do” attitude to the Convey a “can do” attitude to the student. Model confidence that student. Model confidence that bullying can be changed and that bullying can be changed and that victims can protect themselves. victims can protect themselves. Adults need to have a non-punitive, Adults need to have a non-punitive, matter-of-fact attitude.matter-of-fact attitude.

The classroom intervention shifts The classroom intervention shifts power away from bullies by setting power away from bullies by setting explicit rules against bullying and explicit rules against bullying and expecting all students to stand up for expecting all students to stand up for the victims.the victims.

Caring and reinforcement by Caring and reinforcement by adults shifts power toward the adults shifts power toward the caring majority of children.caring majority of children.

• Discussion works better than lecture.Discussion works better than lecture.• The more that children are involved in The more that children are involved in

defining bullying and the strategies to defining bullying and the strategies to use against it, the more effective the use against it, the more effective the intervention will be.intervention will be.

• The classroom teacher is a key The classroom teacher is a key component to the success of the component to the success of the program because the teacher can program because the teacher can reinforce caring behavior and can remind reinforce caring behavior and can remind the students of the bully-proof rules.the students of the bully-proof rules.

• Teachers have been found to be more Teachers have been found to be more effective when they have a facilitator to effective when they have a facilitator to help them teach the course. (Garrity, help them teach the course. (Garrity, 1997)1997)

My Statement of My Statement of ResponsibilityResponsibility I have a responsibility to tell someone I have a responsibility to tell someone

if I am being bullied. I have a if I am being bullied. I have a responsibility to not remain silent responsibility to not remain silent when someone else is bullied. I have a when someone else is bullied. I have a responsibility to speak up on behalf of responsibility to speak up on behalf of all students who need help. I will all students who need help. I will honor that responsibility.honor that responsibility.

__________________Student’s name__________________Student’s name__________________Date__________________Date