Assertiveness
Transcript of Assertiveness
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSDEFINITIONS
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ASSERTIVENESS
The quality of being confident in stating one’s
opinions or needs.
MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
TRANSACTIONAL
ANALYSIS
A technique for analyzing
discussions.
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
LIFEPOSITIONS
An individuals assumption about self in relation to
others.
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
PASSIVE Inactive, Acted on.
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
NEGATIVEASSERTION
Accepting negative aspects
about oneself.
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
AGGRESSIVE
Active, Bold, Pushy.
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
BROKENRECORD
A technique involving
repeating what one wants.
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
FOGGING Agreeing with the truth.
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MAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONSMAJOR CONCEPTS and DEFINITIONS
NEGATIVE INQUIRY
Asking for more information
about oneself.
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BARRIERS TO BARRIERS TO ASSERTIVENESSASSERTIVENESS
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1. 1. SEX ROLE SOCIALIZATIONSEX ROLE SOCIALIZATIONMEN WOMEN
AggressiveCompetitiveIndependent
ObjectiveAnalytical
Task OrientedConfident
Self Disciplined andEmotionally controlled
PassiveDependentSubjectiveIntuitive
EmpatheticSensitive
Interpersonally OrientedWeak
Inconsistent andEmotionally Unstable
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2. 2. NURSING SOCIALIZATION PROCESS NURSING SOCIALIZATION PROCESS AND THE NATURE OF NURSING AND THE NATURE OF NURSING
VALUES TAUGHTVALUES TAUGHT1.Subservience
2. Sacrifice3. Humility4. Service
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3. 3. FEMALE-MALE ROLE COMPETITION and FEMALE-MALE ROLE COMPETITION and FEMALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIP FEMALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIP
PROBLEMSPROBLEMS
MEN MEN are more competitive with women than other men
WOMEN WOMEN are more competitive with women than with men
QUEEN BEE QUEEN BEE and TRASHING TRASHING SYNDROMESYNDROME emerge
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What is QUEEN BEEQUEEN BEE?
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QUEEN BEEQUEEN BEE
• The queen bee identifies with men, enjoys being told that she is different from most women, and feels superior to other women.
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What is TRASHING SYNDROMETRASHING SYNDROME?
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TRASHING SYNDROMETRASHING SYNDROME
• Trashing is a form of character assassination that divides women against one another.
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TRASHING SYNDROMETRASHING SYNDROME
• Rather than exposing disagreements to resolve differences, trashing is done to destroy.
• The trasher may give misinformation to others about what the victim does and thinks or tell her lies about what others think of her.
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TRASHING SYNDROMETRASHING SYNDROME
•Whatever method is used, trashing is being manipulative, dishonest and destructive.
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TRANSACTIONAL TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSISANALYSIS
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TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSISTRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
• Transactional Analysis is a technique that can be used by nurses for analyzing and understanding behaviors.
• Developed by Eric Berne and popularized by Thomas Harris, Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward.
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TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSISTRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Transactional Analysis sprung from:
Freud’s elements of the
psyche
Berne’s ego states
1. Id2. Ego3. Super Ego
1.Parent2.Child3.Adult
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EGO STATESEGO STATESParent, Child and Adult Parent, Child and Adult
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PARENT EGO STATEPARENT EGO STATE
• Controls and is the source of values, opinions, rules, regulations and social conscience.
2 major types of P.E.S.
1. Nurturing Parent1. Nurturing Parent2. Critical Parent2. Critical Parent
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CHILD EGO STATECHILD EGO STATE
• Dominated by emotions and is the feeling state.• It is the “Id” ego state where
strong feelings are triggered by immediate experiences.
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CHILD EGO STATECHILD EGO STATE
2 major types of C.E.S.
1. Natural (Happy)
Spontaneous, Trusting, Joyful,
Adventurous
2. Adapted (Destructive)
Suppressed, May experience anger, rebellion, fear or
conformity
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ADULT EGO STATEADULT EGO STATE
• Monitors one’s behavior and is the unemotional, thinking and problem solving state.• Collects info, sets goals,
compares alternatives, makes decisions and plans and tests reality.
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Every individual exhibits behavior from the 3 ego states at different times.
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A healthy individual maintains a balance
among them.
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Unfortunately, some people are dominated by one or two ego states and are likely to create problems for
managers and colleagues.
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TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
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TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
• Interaction among people as they participate as Parent, Child or Adult.• A transaction or an
observation unit is an exchange between people that consists of complimentary or crossed types.
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COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTION
CROSSED TRANSACTION
PPPP PPPP
AAAA AAAA
CCCC CCCC
PPPP PPPP
AAAA AAAA
CCCC CCCC
TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
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ADULT-to-ADULTCOMPLEMENTARY
PPPPPPPP
AAAA AAAA
CCCC CCCC
TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
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PARENT-to-PARENTCOMPLEMENTARY
PPPPPPPP
AAAA AAAA
CCCC CCCC
TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
PPPPPPPP
AAAA AAAA
CCCC CCCC
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CHILD-to-CHILDCOMPLEMENTARY
PPPPPPPP
AAAA AAAA
CCCC CCCC
TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
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PARENT-to-CHILDCOMPLEMENTARY
PPPPPPPP
AAAA AAAA
CCCC CCCC
TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
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TRANSACTIONSTRANSACTIONS
• Transactions usually proceed in a programmed series as
1. Rituals (Procedures)2. Pastimes
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What are RITUALSRITUALS?
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RITUALSRITUALS
• Rituals are series of simple complementary transactions that provide mutual stroking with no real commitment.
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RITUALSRITUALS
• Greeting rituals like Hi! How are you? I am fine! are used often where the
form has become more important than the content.
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RITUALSRITUALS
• The person that goes from office to office participating in rituals may get promoted because he or she is a “good guy”.
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RITUALSRITUALS
• People who work hard to develop themselves may become apathetic when they realize socializing is more effective for obtaining promotions than hard work.
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What are PASTIMESPASTIMES?
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PASTIMESPASTIMES
• Pastimes are pleasant ways to pass time with others to learn if you have enough in common to warrant further interaction.
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PASTIMESPASTIMES
• Common small talk includes topics such as cooking, fashion, costs, sports, mutual acquaintances and recreation.
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PASTIMESPASTIMES
QUESTION:QUESTION:When do pastimes become a
problem for the organization? ANSWER:When PASTIMES become an
alternative to WORK
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
“A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well defined, predictable outcome.”
- Eric Berne in Games People
Play
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• Games have a high stroke or recognition potential but the pay off is usually negative.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• While playing games, people dwell on their own sorrows and inadequacies, make mistakes, catch others making mistakes, pass the buck and fail to meet the obligations.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• People receive negative strokes and get hurt while real problems go unsolved.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• Productivity is limited because people use their energies to play games instead of getting the job done.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
People need strokes, and negative strokes are better than no strokes.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• Consequently, in work environments that do not provide positive strokes, people have a need to play games.
• Games discourage openness, honesty and intimacy.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• Games take many forms. *Games that blame others
include:
“If it weren’t for you.”“See what you made me
do.”
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
*Games that attack others include:
“Now I got you, SOB.”“Blemish”
“Bear Trapper”“Rapo”
“Let’s you and him fight”
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• On the other hand, self pity is reinforced by games such as:
“Poor me.”“Kick me.”“Stupid.”
“Wooden leg.”“Harried.”
“Lunch bag game”
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• Games always involve putting someone down.• To decrease games in the org,
one must stop putting oneself and others down.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• One should not play the complementary role, but should give and receive positive strokes and invest time in activities and intimacy.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• Manager should integrate the goals of workers and organization and decrease boredom through job enrichment and personnel development.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
• With good organization and management, positive strokes can become an intrinsic part of the job.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
Managers should foster an “I’m OK, you’re OK” atmosphere.
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GAME PLAYINGGAME PLAYING
Intimacy is an open sharing of experience with others; usually by people with close relationships but somehow by strangers.
Activities such as working and learning are goal directed and have a high stroke potential.
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONS
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONS
Life positions are more permanent than ego states.
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONS
• As individuals mature, they make assumptions about themselves and others.
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONS
Four Position Result1. “I’m OK, you’re OK”
2. “I’m OK, you’re not OK”
3. “I’m not OK, you’re OK”
4. “I’m not OK, you’re not OK”
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m OK, you’re OK.I’m OK, you’re OK.
I’m Ok, you’re OKIndividuals are interdependent with each
other and the environment
Happy and ActiveWith a positive outlook on life who like
reinforcement for being OK but are NOT dependent on it
They use the happy child and nurturing parent ego states
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m OK, you’re not OK.I’m OK, you’re not OK.
I’m Ok, you’re not OKThey do not believe they can rely on anyone
but themselves
They think people are worthless and are likely to be enemies and consequently tend
to blame othersThe critical parent ego state is dominant
Supervises people closely because they think they cannot be trusted
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m not OK, you’re OK.I’m not OK, you’re OK.
I’m not Ok, you’re OKBurdened with self-defeating attitudes and
a lack of confidenceTake a psychologically inferior stand to
othersLess competent
Less influential than others
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LIFE POSITIONSLIFE POSITIONSI’m not OK, you’re not OK.I’m not OK, you’re not OK.
I’m not Ok, you’re not OKMaladjusted
Thinks they are worthless and so are others
Lacks confidence in themselves and trust in others
Suspicious and anxiousDisconnected from others
Miserable and tend to give up
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ASSERTIVE ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESTECHNIQUES
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ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES
• Communication styles are commonly passive, aggressive, or assertive.
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ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES
PASSIVE PERSONS
Self-denying, inhibited and allows others to choose for
them.
AGGRESSIVE PERSONS
Self-enhancing at others’ expense
ASSERTIVE PERSONS
Self-enhancing
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ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES
PASSIVE PERSONS
They have a weak, hesitant voice,
downcast eyes and fidgety hands, and
They nod frequently.
*Tend to be at a loss for words
*Do not say what they really mean
*Use many apologetic words
*They hope that people will
understand what they want without
telling them
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ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES
ACTIVE PERSONS The person is likely
to stand with hands in hips, feet apart,
narrowed eyes, pointing a finger
and talking superior,
demanding, authoritarian
manner.
*Loud and uses loaded subjective
words*Makes accusations
*Sends “you” messages that blame
others
*A flippant, sarcastic style with an air of
superiority and rudeness is common
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ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES
ASSERTIVE PERSONS They use eye
contact and spontaneous verbal
expressions with appropriate
gestures and facial expressions while speaking in a well modulated voice.
*Say what they want in direct statements
*Make honest statements about
their feelings*Use objective
words
*Attentive listener who give
impression of caring
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BROKENRECORD
A technique involving
repeating what one wants.
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUES
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ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESBroken Record
Manager: I expect you to get to work on time.
Staff Nurse: But I’m a night person. I stay up late, and it’s difficult to get up so early to come to work. I’m so tired that I shut off my alarm and go back to sleep. Then when I do get up, I stumble around in the dark to find my clothes so I won’t wake my husband.
Manager: You are scheduled to work the day shift this rotation, and I expect you to be at work on time. If you are a night person, would you like to be assigned at the night shift permanently?
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ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESBroken Record
Staff Nurse: No. I wouldn’t be able to see my husband then. He works 9am to 9pm and he gets home about 9:30pm. I would have to come to work at 10:30 and I could only see him for an hour. I would get home just in time for him to go to work.
Manager: You are scheduled to work the day shift this rotation, and I expect you to be at work on time. However, we could assign you to the evening shift permanently. Would you want that?
Staff Nurse: Working the evening shift would allow me to see my husband after work and to sleep in. Yes, I would prefer the evening shift.
Manager: I will see how quickly we can get your schedule changed to permanent evenings. I do expect you to be here by 7am until we get your schedule changed
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FOGGING Agreeing with the truth.
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESFogging
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Staff Nurse: You scheduled me to double back from evenings to days twice in a 2-week time schedule.
Manager: I see that I scheduled you to double back the first Wednesday and the second Friday (agreeing with the truth).
Staff Nurse: When I double back, I have less than 7 hours for sleep, I get tired, have trouble functioning, and fear making mistakes.
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESFogging
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Manager: I understand that you get tired when you double back and fear making mistakes. It seems logical that one would make more mistakes when tired than when alert (agreeing with the odds).
Staff Nurse: We need a policy to prevent having just one shift off between shifts.
Manager: I agree. We do need staffing policies that would provide for adequate rest periods between shifts (agreeing in principle).
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESFogging
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NEGATIVEASSERTION
Accepting negative aspects
about oneself.
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Assertion
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Staff Nurse: You’re new uniform really reveals how fat you are.
Manager: I’m overweight because I eat too much. I eat just about everything in sight except the kitchen sink. I’ve seen the cat get worried (negative assertion).
Staff Nurse: Well, that new uniform sure makes you look like a blimp.
Manager: These new styles don’t compliment my figure worried (negative assertion).
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Assertions
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NEGATIVE INQUIRY
Asking for more information
about oneself.
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Inquiry
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Staff Nurse: You don’t look good today.
Manager: Is it me or what I am wearing?
Staff Nurse: It’s your face. You look so tired.
Manager: I don’t feel tired. What about my face makes me look tired?
Staff Nurse: Your eyes look so tired. They’re so dark. There are bags under them.
Manager: What can I do to make them look less tired?
Staff Nurse: If the problem isn’t fatigue, I guess you could use a crème cosmetic over the bags and use light instead of dark-colored eye shadow.
ASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESASSERTIVE TECHNIQUESNegative Inquiry
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In a social sense, assertiveness is the ability to communicate with others about who you are, how you live, what you do, and what you want and the ability to make them feel comfortable talking about themselves.
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“NURSE LEADERS SHOULD BEHAVE ASSERTIVELY TO ACHIEVE POSITIVE SELF-
IMAGES AND MAINTAIN AN I’M OK POSITION.”
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