8/9/2019 Asante Hospice Bereavement Newsletter Aug 2010

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m a y t h e i r m e m o r i e s b e a b l e s s i n g August 2010

Asane HospiceBereavement Newsleter

Medford

Day group:

11 a.m. to noon

2nd and 4th Mondayof each month

Asante HospiceConference Room

2960 Doctors Park Drive

Evening group:

7 to 8:30 p.m.

Every Monday night

Asante HospiceConference Room

2960 Doctors Park Drive

Grants Pass

Every third Thursday:

5 to 6:30 p.m.

Three RiversCommunity Hospital2nd Floor Chapel Room

500 SW Ramsey Ave.

All groups are free to

the public on an open-ended group basis. There

is no time limit to grief. If you

have any questions, please

call(541) 789-4831

or (541) 956-6241.

Please call for information

and registration for the next

6 to 8 week class in late July.

Classes and PublicSupport Groups oferedby Asante Hospice

AsanteHospice:Medford(541) 789-4831 Grants Pass (541) 956-6241 dstribling@asante.org

To Cry or Not to CryBy Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, Director, Center for Loss

One morning I read a lovely, personalized obituary in my

local newspaper. Te obituary described a man who had

done many things in his lie, had made many riends, and

had touched the lives o countless people. He died in hissixties o cancer. At the end o the obituary, readers were

invited to attend his uneral service and were instructed to

bring memories and stories but no tears. I nearly choked

on my Cheerios.

ears o grie are oten associated with personal

inadequacy and weakness. Te worst thing you can

do, however, is to allow this judgment to prevent you

rom crying. While your tears may result in a eeling o

helplessness or your riends, amily, and caregivers, you

must not let others stife your need to mourn openly.

Sometimes, as you can see rom the obituary I described, the people who care aboutyou may, directly or indirectly, try to prevent your tears out o a desire to protect you

(and them) rom pain. You may hear comments like, ears wont bring him back or

He wouldnt want you to cry. Yet crying is natures way o releasing internal tension

in your body, and it allows you to communicate a need to be comorted.

While data is still limited, researchers suggest that suppressing tears may actually

increase your susceptibility to stress-related disorders. It makes sense. Crying is one o

the excretory processes. Perhaps like sweating and exhaling, crying helps remove waste

products rom the body. Te capacity to express tears appears to allow or genuine

healing. In my experience in counseling mourners, I have even observed changes in

physical expression ater crying. Not only do people eel better ater crying, they alsoseem to look better. ension and agitation seem to fow out o their bodies.

You must be vigilant about guarding yoursel against this misconception. ears are

not a sign o weakness. In act, your capacity to share tears is an indication o your

willingness to do the work o mourning.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt, director of the Center for Loss, is known around the world for his

compassionate messages of hope and healing in grief.

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Why Celebrate Grie?By Donna Stribling

Grie gives us the git o awareness, o realizing that these moments

we celebrate together are the only moments that exist. Grie teachesus the real git o living in the moment. Grie gives us the git ounderstanding that we may be robbed o everything in lie, but weare never robbed o the ability to make meaning out o lie.

Let us celebrate our relationships, our riendships, and our loveo humanity.

Let us celebrate those who have died, who loved us, and whom weloved. Tey continue to be present to us in our memories, in ourvalues, and in our hearts.

Asane Hospice Buterfy ReleaseReminder that this event is September 18, 2010,from 1 to 3 p.m. at Grants Pass Riverside Park.

Sometimes when weve experienced a loss, it is helpul to rememberthe good in our lives. Show us what youre thankul or and howyou celebrate the blessings in your lie. Bring a ramed photo oyour amily member or riend to place on the memory table. Bringa mementoa piece o artwork, a quilt, a painting, a shirt, or tennisshoesto place on the table as well. Tese keepsakes show whoyour loved one was and what he or she meant to you. Its all part othe work o grie. Share with others your memories o love. Havequestions? Call Donna Stribling at (541) 789-4831.

Registration is open or the six-week bereavement class starting

July 31. Please call Donna at (541) 789-4831 or (541) 956-6241.

AsanteHospice:Medford(541) 789-4831 Grants Pass (541) 956-6241 dstribling@asante.org

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A Symbol o Hope

A buterfy lighs beside us like a sunbeam

And or a brie momen is gloryand beauy belong o our world

Bu hen i fies again

And hough we wish i could have sayed...

We eel lucky o have seen i.

Anonymous