AS GOOD AS IT GETS.doc

8/10/2019 AS GOOD AS IT GETS.doc

1/86

AS GOOD AS IT GETS

by

Mard Andrus

And

James L. Brooks

Story by

Mark Andrus

FADE IN:

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT

ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an

enormously SWEET!A"E#$ EL#E% WOMAN steps out$ bun&led up

a&ainst t'e (old turnin& ba(k to (all inside to t'e

unseen lo)e o* 'er lon& li*e.

SWEET-FACED WOMAN

+,m -ust &oin& to &et some

*lowers$ dear. +,ll be ba(k in

twenty minutes. +t,s tulip season

today. +,m so 'appy.

And now s'e turns and *a(es t'e 'allway... 'er sweetness

dissol)es in a *las'... repla(ed by repulsion and t'at

ui(kly s'e 'as re)ersed 'ersel* and reentered 'erapartment... (losin& t'e door as we (onsider 'er )a(ated.

POV - MELVIN UDALL

in t'e 'allway... Well past /0... unliked$ unlo)ed$

unsettlin&. A 'u&e pain in t'e ass to e)eryone 'e,s e)er

met. %i&'t now all 'is (onsiderable talent and stren&t'

is totally *o(used on sedu(in& a tiny do& into t'e

ele)ator door 'e 'olds open.

MELVIN

"ome 'ere$ sweet'eart... (ome on.

ON DOG

Sni**in& at a parti(ular spot on t'e 'all (arpetin&.

Mel)in lets t'e ele)ator door (lose and ad)an(es on t'e

mutt w'o 'as i&nores 'im.

MELVIN

Wanna &o *or a ride1 Okay$

sweetie1

T'e do& li*ts 'is le& at t'e pre(ise moment Mel)in lun&es

and pi(ks 'im up wit' a de(isi)e 'e*t so t'at do&

urine suirts t'e 'all wall *or a se(ond or two. T'e #OG

sensin& a kindred spirit starts to G%OWL and BA%2.

MELVIN3a male)olent tone4

5ou,)e pissed your last *loor$ you

1


2/86

do&eared monkey.

T'e do& takes a snap at Mel)in$ but t'e man is mu('

meaner and ui(ker t'an t'e do& 'e 'olds 'is snout

s'ut wit' 'is 'and and rea('es *or t'e door o* t'e

&arba&e ('ute.

MELVIN+,ll bet you wis' you were some

sort o* real do& now$ 'u'1 #on,t

worry... t'is is New 5ork. +* you

(an make it 'ere$ you (an make it

anyw'ere$ you know1 5ou u&ly$

smelly *u(k.

And wit' t'at$ 'e stu**s 'im in t'e &arba&e ('ute and

lets &o. We 'ear a !A#+NG SE%+ES o* 6LEA#+NG 7ANOOOOS7

*rom t'e #OG *ade to not'in&ness... as anot'er apartment

door opens emittin& t'e loud sounds o* a 6A%T5 and S+MON

N5E$ early 80s. Simon 'as been born and raised wit'

Got'i( 'orror and it,s stran&e t'at w'at t'at stew o*

trauma 'as produ(ed is a &i*ted$ de(ent man.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT

!ranti(... 'e bolts into t'e 'all... Mel)in is -ust about

to enter 'is apartment.

SIMON

9erdell:1:: ;ere$ &ood do&&ie...

;e noti(es Mel)in at t'e *ar end o* t'e 'all.

SIMON

Mr.


3/86

Simon 'as 'ad it.

SIMON

!rank Sa('s Mel)in


4/86

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL - NIGHT

A &roup o* 6A%T5 GOE%S enters *ollowed by a ;AN#5MAN

'oldin& 9erdell w'o looks and *inds?

SIMON

w'o looks up li&'ts up and tears up as 'e mo)es

ui(kly toward t'e &roup and 'is do&.

SIMON

T'ank t'e &ood Lord... wow... my

'oney... w'ere 'a)e you been1

PARTY GOER

3t'inkin& t'e &reetin&,s

*or 'im4

;e always liked me.

As Simon &oes past 'im to take t'e do& *rom t'e

;andyman... JA"2+E$ !rank,s -unior partner$ barkin& a

lau&' at t'e 6arty Goer 9E%#ELL BA%2+NG some lo)e. As

t'e ot'ers &reet Simon$ Ja(kie dire(ts t'e &roup inside.

Ja(kie lin&ers$ lookin& on a**e(tionately as Simon pi(ks

some aw*ul$ sti(ky &unk *rom t'e do&,s body... 'e puts

9erdell down to rea(' *or 'is wallet t'e tiny #OG 5A6S

in protest.

SIMON

Just *or a se(ond$ okay1

T'e #OG 5A6S 7no.7 Simon$ deli&'ted$ pi(ks 'im up a&ain.

SIMON

3kissin& 'im on t'e mout'4

Look at 'im... w'ere was littlebaby1

HANDYMAN

3smilin&4

+n t'e basement &arba&e bin eatin&

diaper s'it.

Simon rea(ts t'en noti(es t'e ;andyman$ ton&ue in

('eek$ tryin& to suppress 'is amusement.

SIMON

Go a'ead$ Jo'n$ you earned your *un.

3lookin& at 9erdell4

;ow did 'e &et down in t'e

basement1 + mean e)en i* 'e &oton t'e ele)ator 'ow... 1

HANDYMAN

Maybe some ni(e nei&'bor s'o)ed

'im down t'e &arba&e ('ute.

SIMON

My God: No:

;e stares out... !rank *rustrated *ollowin&.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - OFFICE - NIGHT

@uiet sa*e -ust Mel)in,s )oi(e readin& aloud as 'ewrites.

4


5/86

MELVIN

,Somew'at in t'e dark$ s'e 'ad

(on*essed and 'e 'ad *or&i)en.

T'is is w'at you li)e *or$ 'e

said. Two 'eads on a pillow w'ere

t'ere is only t'e sa*ety o* bein&

wit' ea(' ot'er. ;ow$ s'e

wondered$ (ould s'e *ind su(' 'opein t'e most s'ame*ul part o* 'er.,

;e barely rea(ts as we 'ear a LO


6/86

SIMON

3eyes down(ast4

No$ + didn,t.

MELVIN

#o you like to be interrupt w'en

you are dan&in& around in yourlittle &arden1

SIMON

No... a(tually$ + e)en s'ut t'e

p'one o** and put a little pie(e

o* (ardboard in t'e rin&er so no

one (an -ust bu>> me *rom d...

MELVIN

Well$ + work all t'e time. So

ne)er$ ne)er a&ain interrupt me.

Okay1 + mean$ ne)er. Not 80

years *rom now... not i* t'ere,s

*ire. Not e)en i* you 'ear a t'ud

*rom inside my 'ome and a week

later t'ere,s a smell *rom in

t'ere t'at (an only (ome *rom a

de(ayin& body and you 'a)e to 'old

a 'anky a&ainst your *a(e be(ause

t'e sten(' is so t'i(k you t'ink

you,re &oin& to *aint e)en t'en

don,t (ome kno(kin& or$ i* it,s

ele(tion ni&'t and you,re e=(ited

and want to (elebrate be(ause some

*ud&epa(ker you dated 'as been

ele(ted t'e *irst ueer 6resident

o* t'e


7/86

MELVIN (O.S.)

O'$ +,m pissed:: Now + am really

pissed:::

!rank waits patiently as Mel)in -erks 'is door ba(k open.

!rank immediately &rabs Mel)in by 'is s'irt and -erks 'im

*orward... Mel)in is s(ared. Operatin& on sur)i)al mode.

MELVIN

No tou('. No tou('. No tou('.

FRANK

5ou may t'ink you (an intimidate

t'e w'ole world wit' your

attitude$ but + &rew up in ;ell.

My &randmot'er 'ad more attitude.

5ou don,t intimidate me.

MELVIN

3(allin&4

6oli(e: 6oli(e: !u(kin& (rooked

poli(e... dou&'nutmun('in& morons

'elp me:

3to !rank4

Assault and battery and you,re

bla(k.

FRANK

S'''' now. + like Simon. + like

'im enou&' to batter you

unre(o&ni>able i* you )erbally

abuse 'im or so mu(' as tou(' 'is

do& a&ain. Meanw'ile$ +,ll try

and t'ink 'ow you (an make t'is up

to 'im.

3suddenly loud4

+ 'ate doin& t'is. +,m an artdealer.

3beat4

;a)e a ni(e day. 6arty:

;e tosses Mel)in ba(k and walks out. Mel)in strai&'tens

'is s'irt as 'e steps out into t'e 'all. !rank smiles as

'e reenters t'e ot'er apartment. Mel)in appears

impressed.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET NEAR CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY

A (rowded and dirty street and 'ere (omes Mel)in. ;is

walk is brisk an animal wantin& to pass t'rou&' t'e

dan&er wit'out &i)in& o** t'e s(ent o* its mountin& *ear.

At times 'e pla(es 'is palms to&et'er and e=tends 'isarms (uttin& a pat' t'rou&' people. We will be )ery

pointed in t'e *a(t t'at 'e a)oids steppin& on (ra(ks.

CLOSER ON MELVIN

;is eyes *o(used on t'e terrain.

INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY

ANGLE ON WAITRESS

"A%OL "ONNELL5 talks wit' anot'er MOT;E% a (ustomer.

5ou would not &uess it$ but 'er workin& 'ours tend to be

t'e most (are*ree time o* t'e day. S'e is tellin& astory about 'er son *or t'e umpteent' time.

7


8/86

CAROL

3to t'e Mot'er,s

little &irl4

Look at you$ you,re all better.

MOTHER

+t,s t'at new medi(ation.

CAROL

5ou know all my son,s stu**$

ri&'t1

T'e Mot'er nods too sympat'eti(ally t'at s'e does$ but

"arol interrupts 'er.

CAROL

No$ no$ no$ + &ot a date toni&'t.

+,m walkin& out t'e door t'is

mornin& and 'e says to me$ ,Mom$

+ promise not to &et one o* my

*e)ers or (ou&'s durin& your

date.,

MOTHER

+sn,t t'at sweet.

CAROL

Little blonde an&le.

3to ('ild$

a**e(tionately4

Eat e)eryt'in&.

Mel)in enters and mo)es past se)eral empty tables to a

table towards t'e ba(k and is ob)iously surprised to *ind

a MAN and WOMAN sittin& at t'e table.

WOMAN+t -ust (ame out o* me. + said

you lo)e me t'e way a remote

(ontrol lo)es a T9. As lon& as +

swit(' e)ery time...

HER MALE COMPANION

Wonder*ul.

MELVIN

6eople w'o talk in metap'ors (an

s'ampoo my (rot('.

3on t'eir look4

Eat up.

T'ey turn away Mel)in walks a *ew pa(es to t'ewaitress station w'ere two waitresses$ L+SA and "A%OL$

are talkin&.

LISA

6ay me ba(k ne=t week.

CAROL

+ owe you. + told you today...

t'em,s t'e rules. O'$ e=(use me$

Mel)in.

S'e puts two 'ands li&'tly on 'is waist to mo)e 'im out

o* t'e way. ;e &ulps at t'e (onta(t 3sin(e no one else

e)er tou('es 'im4 but (o)ers 'is sel*(ons(iousness.

MELVIN

8


9/86

+,m star)in&.

CAROL

3*irmly to Lisa4

Will you please take it1

Mel)in intentionally mo)es a step in 'er pat'$ wit'

stealt'$ so t'at s'e must tou(' 'im a&ain to &et 'im outo* t'e way...

LISA

T'is way you take a (ab 'ome so

you 'a)e time to &et ready *or t'e

date.

CAROL

7%eady7 is not my problem.

S'e barks a mirt'less t'ou&' 'earty lau&'. +* we (ould

read Mel)in w'i(' we (an,t$ we,d see 'im unsettled by t'e

date talk. To "arol 'e is as 'armless as *urniture.

CAROL

3to Mel)in4

Go sit down. 5ou know you,re not

allowed ba(k 'ere... Spen(er,s

more e=(ited about it t'an + am...

;e says$ 7Mom$ + promise not to

&et a *e)er or (ou(' durin& your date.7

T'e ot'er WA+T%ESSES and t'e S;O%T O%#E% "OO2 all &o

7awww.7

CAROL

+ know. ;e,s -ust t'e best.

MELVIN+,)e &ot Jews at my table.

CAROL

+t,s not your table. +t,s t'e

pla(e,s table. Be'a)e. T'is

on(e$ you (an sit at someone

else,s station.

T'e two waitresses si&nal t'eir protests.

CAROL

Or you (an -ust wait your turn...

Mel)in walks ba(k into t'e restaurant proper... 'e 'an&s

near t'eir table... 'is dis(om*ort builds in t'is limbo...t'en?

MELVIN

;ow mu(' more you &ot to eat1

5our appetite isn,t as bi& as

your noses$ is it1

WOMAN

W'at1::

MAN

3to Woman4

Let,s &o

T'e Woman starts to protest.

9


10/86

MAN

Let,s lea)e. We,re &oin&.

Mel)in sits down at t'e table and takes *rom 'is

po(ket a plasti( eatin& utensil set wrapped and sealed.

As 'e opens 'is utensils.

CAROLBryan says 'e doesn,t (are 'ow

lon& you,)e been (omin& you e)er

a(t like t'is a&ain you,re barred

*or li*e. +,m &onna miss t'e

e=(itement$ but +,ll 'andle it.

T'ere is in "arol,s attitude toward Mel)in some

in&redient o* sel*satis*a(tion t'at s'e is t'e only

one in t'e pla(e w'o (an 'andle 'im. S'e starts to (lear

t'e table.

MELVIN

T'e table,s *ine i* it 'ad some

('olesterol on it. Two sausa&es$

si= ba(on strips$ *ries$ t'ree

e&&s o)er easy and (o**ee.

CAROL

5ou,re &onna die soon wit' t'at

diet$ you know t'at1

MELVIN

We,re all &onna die soon. + will.

5ou will. +t sure sounds like

your son will.

ON CAROL

Stunned. Some (ra>y street*reak 'as slipped under 'erper*e(t &uard and momentarily de)astated 'er. Mel)in

senses t'at 'e,s &one way too *ar. ;e wipes 'is kni*e.

CAROL

+* you e)er mention my son a&ain$

you will ne)er be able to eat 'ere

a&ain. #o you understand1 Gi)e me

some si&n you understand or lea)e

now. #o you understand me...

3adds trut'*ul label4

you (ra>y *reak1 #o you1:1

A beat and t'en Mel)in nods$ 'ardly breat'in& ba(kin&

down.

CAROL

Okay. +,ll &et your order.

S'e walks away. Mel)in wat('es 'er$ bitin& 'is lower

lip. ;e takes some napkins and (leans t'e table 'imsel*.

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

S'e is underneat' a 5O


11/86

Man stops and looks at 'er.

YOUNG MAN

W'at1

CAROL

+... +... + don,t know... 5ou &ot

me.

;is eyes try to burn into 'ers... S'e is &ettin& e=(ited

but doesn,t know 'ow to play it... ;e pus'es one o* t'e

*in&ers o* t'e 'and (aressin& 'er *a(e toward 'er

mout'... S'e (loses 'er teet'$ 'is *in&ers attempt

openin& 'er mout'. S'e stops 'im.

CAROL

Let me -ust do w'ate)er + do by

mysel*... +,ll (at(' up to you

somepla(e + promise.

3as 'e,s put o**4

O'$ no... don,t look like t'at.

No. +,m sorry i* +,m a &oo*.

And so wit' earnestness and (arin&$ s'e 'as trans*ormed

t'e se= into somet'in& more intimate and$ talk about

e&& in your beer$ 'otter. T'in&s are &ettin& wild w'en

we 'ear *rom t'e distan(e a ('ild$ S6EN"E%$ "ALL+NG and

COUGHING.

CAROL

2issin&... kissin& boys. O' my.

"arol pulls 'er 'ead away as Spen(er,s (all (ontinues.

SPENCER (O.S.)

3so*tly4

Grandma$ &randma...

YOUNG MAN

Maybe you better ('e(k.

CAROL

Like w'at did you t'ink + was

&oin& to do1

INT. HALLWAYBEVERLY'S ROOM - NIGHT

6ullin& 'ersel* to&et'er s'e &oes o** down t'e 'allway...

s'e du(ks 'er 'ead into t'e *irst bedroom w'ere 'er

mot'er$ BE9E%L5$ is listenin& to musi( on 'eadp'ones...

s'e takes t'em o** w'en s'e sees "arol$ t'en 'ears t'e

(ou&'.

BEVERLY

+,m sorry. + was 'earin& -ust

e)eryt'in& you were doin& so + put

t'ese on to &i)e you pri)a(y.

"arol now &oes into 'er son,s room.

INT. SPENCER'S ROOM - NIGHT

T'e room is a monument to 'orrible$ sleepless ni&'ts...

two dru&store de'umidi*yin& *ilters$ a nebuli>er

3breat'in& (ontraption4 a waste basket... a ni&'t stand

*illed wit' medi(ine$ a blood pressure kit... alon& wit'some sta(ks o* se)enyearold toys and a small T9 wed&ed

into t'e tiny spa(e.

11


12/86

SPENCER

+,m sorry.

CAROL

#on,t be silly. ;ow bad1

SPENCERNot bad.

"arol *eels 'is 'ead... t'at,s okay. T'en 'e (ou&'s

tryin& to suppress it... t'en a bi&&er (ou&'... t'ey ea('

know w'at t'at si&nals... S'e brin&s up a waste basket as

'e t'rows up... s'e (om*orts 'im. ;e apolo&i>es. S'e

lo)es 'im.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

As s'e reenters. ;e is takin& a (i&arette *rom a pa(k.

CAROL

3a bit pani(ked4

5ou (an,t smoke... ;e (an,t take

smoke.

;e palms t'e (i&arette resumes makin& out 'is 'and

suee>es 'er breast t'en 'e stops and looks at 'is

'and. S'e looks down and sees a bit o* t'rowup 'e

pi(ked up w'ile *eelin& 'er and t'en noti(es 'im lookin&

at 'er wit' e=treme distaste... S'e barks a lau&' to

(o)er 'er embarrassment but speaks t'e trut'.

CAROL

O'$ God... + don,t e)en noti(e

anymore.

S'e (rosses to t'e kit('en *or a dis'towel. Tries to makeli&'t.

CAROL

T'at,ll tea(' you.

YOUNG MAN

#on,t apolo&i>e.

CAROL

3perturbed4

T'at wasn,t an apolo&y.

S'e noti(es 'is demeanor 'ow 'e a)oids lookin& at 'er

'ow un(om*ortable 'e is.

CAROL

;ey... t'is is -ust a little t'row

up it,s not'in& to be so

embarrassed about. %eally.

3as 'e s'i*ts

un(om*ortably4

T'anks *or t'e dinner. Let me

write down w'i(' trains you take

to &et ba(k.

YOUNG MAN

No way.

S'e bri&'tens.

YOUNG MAN

12


13/86

+,ll take a (ab.

S'e de*lates as 'e mo)es past 'er.

YOUNG MAN

Too mu(' reality *or a !riday

ni&'t.

EXT. HOLLAND TUNNEL - NIGHT

A (old ni&'t in 'ell. T'ree youn& men bulls'it near t'e

approa(' to t'e tunnel. T'eir names are 9+N"ENT$ E9AN

and #O


14/86

is *or a paintin&. + need a

pretty *a(e.

"arl be(kons to 9in(ent w'o -oins 'im$ tryin& to (on(eal

'is pride at winnin& t'is lowest end o* beauty (ontest.

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY

T'ere is a 2NO"2 at t'e door Simon (rosses to answer.

;e is more rela=ed t'an we,)e seen 'im a man at pea(e

'ummin& to 'is *a)orite musi($ talkin& to 'is do& w'o

s(rat('es at t'e door. Simon opens t'e door to 9in(ent.

SIMON

Sorry$ + was out in t'e studio

doin& some work and + *or&ot about

our appointment.

;e leads t'e way ba(k toward t'e studio ('attin& away

unaware t'at 9in(ent is disrobin& as 'e *ollows 'im

and eyein& t'e e=pensi)e apartment.

SIMON

+ usually make su(' a bi& deal out

o* pi(kin& models but "arl,s so

t'orou&'. +,ll bet 'e dro)e you

nuts ('e(kin& your re*eren(es.

And 'e turns and sees t'e naked model.

SIMON

3taken aba(k4

T'is isn,t a nude.

9in(ent mo)es ba(k to retrie)e 'is (lot'es.

VINCENTJust kiddin& around.

3t'en mutters4

So mu(' *or lo)e.

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - STUDIO (MINUTES LATER)

9in(ent is strikin& blatantly se=ual poses to t'e

in(reasin&ly uneasy Simon.

SIMON

E=a(tly w'at is your pre)ious

e=perien(e1

VINCENT

;ow about t'at pose13sin&son&4

T'is is not *un...

3t'en4

Gi)e me some dire(tion.

9in(ent 'as instin(ti)ely put Simon on t'e de*ensi)e. ;e

tries not to s'ow it.

SIMON

Not'in&. + -ust wat(' till

somet'in& strikes me. #o anyt'in&

you t'ink o* try di**erent

t'in&.


15/86

VINCENT

3tryin& anot'er spa(e4

T'e *a(t t'at you 'a)en,t said$

7'old it7 means + 'a)en,t done it

ri&'t... is t'at (orre(t1 +

'a)en,t done it ri&'t1

SIMONNo... Okay. W'at + do is wat('

and wait *or$ um... 5ou e)er wat('

someone w'o doesn,t know you,re

wat('in&... an old woman on a bus$

kids &oin& to s('ool and you see

t'is *las' (ome o)er t'em and you

know immediately t'at it 'as

not'in& to do wit' anyt'in&

e=ternal t'at it,s in respond

to a pri)ate t'ou&'t t'ey -ust

'ad1 T'ey are -ust sort o* realer

and more ali)e. And w'en you

noti(e it so are you. +* you look

at someone lon& enou&'$ you

dis(o)er t'eir 'umanity.

9in(ent,s sla(k-awed e=pression ('an&es. ;e *eels an

intelle(tual tin&le to be 'a)in& t'is (on)ersation.

VINCENT

+ know e=a(tly w'at you mean.

T'ere,s a -oy in 'im at t'is moment a bit o* purity.

SIMON

;old it.

9in(ent does so 'ums a bit o* 7Satis*a(tion7 to

(elebrate.

INT. RESTAURANT - DAY

"arol and LESL+E$ anot'er waitress$ are waitin& *or t'eir

order at t'e (appu((ino bar. Leslie is tellin& t'e story

o* t'e traumati( audition w'i(' may 'a)e turned 'er li*e.

"arol is rapt.

As t'ey pass Mel)in s'e does not break stride$ nor &i)e

'im noti(e. T'ou&' s'e is aware o* 'im resent*ully so

'ard not to be sin(e 'e is &i)in& a moment to moment

(ommentary on 'er e)ery a(tion.

MELVIN

"lippity (lop (lippity (lop s'e 'as to pretend s'e doesn,t

'ear me. Listenin& to t'e story

*rom t'e upset *riend... now s'e

drops o** t'e (appu((ino and

smiles at t'e put>ette w'o doesn,t

e)en say$ 7T'ank you.7 No$ t'e

put>ette wanted t'e w'ipped (ream

so ba(k s'e &oes and now s'e 'as

to pass 'im a&ain and it,s &ettin&

tou&'er to make belie)e.

CAROL

3relu(tant *or&i)eness4

Okay.

Mel)in stops s'e passes be'ind 'im to deli)er an

15


16/86

un('ara(teristi( rabbit pun('.

CAROL

W'at,s wit' t'e plasti( pi(ni(

ware1 W'y not try ours... a*raid

it isn,t (lean1

MELVIN+ see t'e 'elp -ud&ement (all.

CAROL

Just &i)e yoursel* a little pep

talk. 7Must try ot'er people,s

(lean sil)erware as part o* t'e

*un o* dinin& out.7

MELVIN

W'at,s wron& wit' your son$

anyway1

CAROL

W'at do you (are1

Mel)in -ust looks at 'er.

CAROL

;e,s &otta *i&'t to breat'e.

;is ast'ma (an -ust s'oot o** t'e

('arts 'e,s aller&i( to dust

and t'is is New 5ork and 'is

immune system bails on 'im w'en

t'ere,s trouble so an ear

in*e(tion... +s t'is bot'erin&

you1

MELVIN

3(au&'t4No.

CAROL

An ear in*e(tion (an send us to

t'e emer&en(y room maybe *i)e$

si= times a mont' w'ere + &et

w'ate)er nineyearold t'ey -ust

made a do(tor. Ni(e ('attin& wit'

you.

MELVIN

;is name1

CAROL

Spen(er.

MELVIN

Okay.

CAROL

3uietly4

Spen(e.

S'e e=its.

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - STUDIO - DAY (SEVERAL WEEKS LATER)

T'e &reen'ouse studio is a busy san(tuary$ as Simon puts

t'e *inis'in& tou('es on 'is paintin& o* 9in(ent. A beatand t'en a stran&e *i&ure (rosses between t'e "AME%A and

t'e s(ene &one be*ore we (an e=amine 'im *urt'er.

16


17/86

SIMON

5ou (an put on anyt'in& you want

now. + mi&'t be sort o* done

'ere...

9in(ent ui(kly and e=pertly pi(ks a "# to meet 'is

immediate needs and puts it on dyin& a little at e)eryse(ond o* silen(e durin& t'e transition... t'en LOed.7

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

#ou& and E)an are nearly to t'e *ront door as 9E%#ELL

stops t'em wit' a )i(ious G%OWL and BA%2.

Simon is distra(ted lookin& down at 'is pet so t'at 'e

17


18/86

(ontinues to walk toward #ou& and E)an$ not noti(in&

t'em 9in(ent$ terribly a*raid$ appears be'ind Simon.

SIMON

3to 9in(ent4

W'at,s t'e matter$ sweet'eart1

;e instantly stops. S'o(ked. !ro>en. ;is eyes on t'estran&er$ #ou&$ lookin& at 'im. Now 9in(ent (omes in.

#ou& &reets 'im.

DOUG

5o.

Simon turns to 9in(ent.

SIMON

W'y are you doin& t'is1

VINCENT

No. No. No. ;ey$ t'at paintin&

in t'ere... + -ust want to tell

you...

Now E)an appears 'oldin& a brass 'at ra(k.

EVAN

3to 9in(ent4

W'at are you doin&1 "ruisin& 'im1

And 'e uses t'e 'at ra(k *irst as a spear$ t'en as a

(lub$ as t'e brie* sa)a&e atta(k be&ins.

ON VERDELL

as 'e starts to &o toward Simon and t'en s(urries ba(k in

*ear. T'e t'ree atta(kers lea)e. Now silen(e. A sin&leBA%2 *rom 9E%#ELL.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - DUSK

A mass o* O!!+"+AL 6EO6LE (lutter t'e 'all as a &urney is

w'isked down to t'e ele)ator. +t,s impossible to tell i*

Simon is awake or dead. Mel)in is standin& a&ainst t'e

wall near 'is door a (op$ %A5$ inter)iewin& 'im.

RAY

Okay. So you (all D and don,t

lea)e your name e)en a dumb

&ee>er s'ould know t'at emer&en(y

automati(ally pulls up your name.

;ow (ome you make a mistake liket'at1

MELVIN

;ow (ome you,re pretendin& to do

(op work ,(ause + don,t t'ink

you (ould *ind your ass i* you

were spotted t'e 'ole.

RAY

3stunned4

W'at1

MELVIN

Just mo)e on. No one 'ere killed'im.

18


19/86

RAY

O'$ is 'e dead1

MELVIN

Ask 'im.

RAY

We will i* we (an and i* we (an,t$we,ll (ome ba(k and ask you a&ain

and a&ain.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY -

ANOTHER ANGLE - NIGHT

!rank standin& upset$ an=ious$ 'oldin& a do& bowl$ a

leas' and 9E%#ELL$ w'o is more upset makin& pat'eti(

little "%5+NG SO


20/86

M


21/86

Li*e$7 wit' its ('eer*ul w'istle re*rain. 9erdell looks

o)er wit' surprise and pleasure. But -ust as mood li*ts

and warmt' t'reatens$ Mel)in stops abruptly$ turns out

t'e li&'ts and e=its.

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY

!rank on t'e p'one.

FRANK

3into p'one4

6ut t'e solid red dots on t'ree o*

t'em and t'e 'old blue dots on two

ot'ers... Well$ we,re not &oin& to

sell anyt'in& i* t'ey know we,re

two weeks into a s'ow and 'a)e no

sales. No$ you (an,t redu(e a

pri(e at t'is sta&e... We,re in

*ree *all 'ere. Any (alls1

!ACKIE

We (an see 'im.

FRANK

+,ll meet you in t'ere.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

As Ja(kie enters.

!ACKIE

;ow you doin&$ &reat one1

SIMON

+ 'a)en,t looked at mysel* yet. +

*i&ured + (ould tell *rom your

rea(tion.

;e turns toward 'er. Mu(' o* 'is body taped 'is

paintin& 'and wrapped. Simon,s *a(e is somet'in& o* a

'orror. Swollen$ one sa)a&e dis(olored (ut. We are into

yu((('''... T'e si&'t is a -olt. Ja(kie breaks into

tears... sobs$ a(tually.

SIMON

T'at bad$ 'u'1

T'ey s'are a 'elpless 'al*lau&' t'en !rank appears in

t'e doorway.

FRANK

;ey$ 'ey...3as 'e sees 'im4

;aaa... bad but temporary. T'e

nurses say it,s mu(' better t'an

you looked t'ree weeks a&o... t'e

'and will (ome ba(k... t'ey,re

sure...

SIMON

Ja(kie$ will you 'and me t'e

mirror1

!ACKIE

3a small )oi(e4

No.

S'e starts to 'and 'im a lar&e mirror *rom 'er purse

21


22/86

t'en t'inks better o* it.

!ACKIE

Wait$ + 'a)e a smaller one.

But 'e 'olds out 'is 'and and s'e &i)es 'im t'e mirror

'e starts to look t'en t'inks better o* it.

SIMON

So$ w'at,s new anyway1 ;ow,s

9erdell1

FRANK

3s'eepis'4

5our nei&'bor


23/86

CAROL

5ou,re not worried t'at someone

mi&'t take 'im1

MELVIN

Well$ not until now *or

"'rist,s sake.

CAROL

Sorry.

MELVIN

+t,s okay +,ll sit 'ere.

;e ('an&es tables *or t'e *irst time e)er so t'at 'e (an

keep an eye on 9erdell. "arol is ama>ed.

CAROL

5ou know 'e,s a little do&. Ne=t

time$ i* Bryan,s not 'ere$ you (an

brin& 'im in.

MELVIN

;ow old are you1

CAROL

O'$ please...

MELVIN

+* + 'ad to &uess by your eyes$

+,d say you were *i*ty.

"arol looks at 'im.

CAROL

And i* + 'ad to &uess by youreyes. +,d say you were kind. So$

so mu(' *or eyes. But as lon& as

you brin& up a&e... 'ow old are

you1

MELVIN

3ui(kly4

Ot'erwise$ you,re not u&ly.

CAROL

3lau&'s out loud4

Okay$ pal... + a((ept t'e

(ompliment$ but &o easy my

knees start akno(kin& w'en you

turn on t'e ('arm *ull blast.

MELVIN

W'at,s wit' t'e dark1

;e indi(ates t'e ba&s under 'er eyes by tappin& 'is own.

CAROL

#awn patrol ma-or dawn patrol.

My son 'ad a *ull blown atta(k.

And t'is time$ *or e=tra *un$ t'ey

&a)e us t'e wron& antibioti(s$ so

+ &et 'im 'ome...

S'e rea('es *or t'e plate o* uneaten ba(on 'e &oesnuts.

23


24/86

MELVIN

No... no... lea)e it... t'e

ba(on,s *or t'e do&.

S'e is -olted by t'e insensiti)ity o* 'is interruption$

but 'e doesn,t noti(e$ turnin&$ almost ('atty.

MELVINLast week + was playin& t'e piano

*or 'im and 'e likes it$ and so +

de(ide +,m &oin& to make a little

-oke...

CAROL

5ou all set 'ere1

Mel)in nods a bit *rustrated about not bein& able to

*inis' 'is do& story. ;e po(kets t'e remainin& ba(on.

EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY

As Mel)in walks 9erdell ba(k 'ome$ we noti(e$ per'aps a

beat be*ore Mel)in$ a remarkably e)ent. 9erdell is

a)oidin& t'e (ra(ks in t'e sidewalk.

MELVIN

+t,s a beauti*ul day *or our walk.

Mel)in slows obser)es t'e do& mirrorin& 'is be'a)ior.

ON VERDELL

a&ain (are*ully pla(in& 'is paws to a)oid a (ra(k in t'e

sidewalk. Mel)in lau&'s out loud puts on plasti(

&lo)es 'urriedly so 'e (an li*t t'e do& to eye le)el.

MELVIN#on,t be like me$ don,t you be

like me. 5ou stay -ust t'e way

you are be(ause you are a per*e(t

man. +,m &onna take you 'ome and

&et you somet'in& to eat... w'at

you lo)e.

ANOTHER ANGLE

FEMALE PASSERSBY

3('armed4

O'''. +,d like to be treated like

t'at.

MELVIN3all smiles to 9erdell4

Let,s &o 'ome and do some writin&.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Mel)in w'alin& away at 'is (omputer$ readin& to 'imsel*

wit' &reat satis*a(tion as 'e &oes.

9erdell sits at 'is ('air$ *as(inated by t'e speed o* 'is

master,s *in&ers on t'e keyboard. ;e reads 'is writin&

aloud to t'e do&.

MELVIN

7;e turned o** t'e &as -ets and(arried 'er outside. ;e kissed

'er brow and w'en 'er eyes opened

24


25/86

and *ound 'im$ 'e said$ ,t'ere are

easier ways to break a date., S'e

lau&'ed. T'e only sensible

ambition 'e 'ad e)er known was now

reali>ed. ;e 'ad made t'e &irl

'appy. And w'at a &irl. ,5ou,)e

sa)ed my li*e$, s'e said$ ,you,d

better make it up to me.,7

E='ilarated by 'is own words$ 'e s'uts down t'e ma('ine...

MELVIN

3sin&in& to 9erdell4

#one:

3playin& wit' 'im some4

5es$ + 'ate t'e do&&y... yes$ +

'ate t'e do&&y.

;e e=its.

MELVIN (V.O.)

Si=tytwo books... done:

As t'e do& &oes s'ootin& o** to t'e kit('en we lea)e our

(ouple,s play time *or...

INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - BEDROOMLIVING ROOMHALLWAY - DAY

As t'e rookie in)alid awakens in pre(isely t'e same *oul

mood 'e,d 'ad on *allin& asleep. +n t'e li)in& room$ t'e

maid$ NO%A$ is talkin& wit' Ja(kie we (at(' only a *ew

words as t'ey re)iew Simon,s mountin& pile o* bills and

talk o* 'ow lon& Nora (an stay on.

INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY

!rank kno(kin& on Mel)in,s door. ;e opens it.

FRANK

;ow,s 9erdell doin&1

MELVIN

;e,s a pain in t'e ass.

As 'e looks o)er at t'e do&$ 9erdell trots o)er and$

wit'out reali>in& it$ Mel)in smiles at 'im to !rank,s

surprise.

FRANK

Simon,s 'ome. + was sort o*

'opin& you (ould keep t'e do&

until 'e,s 'ad a ('an(e to t'inkand ad-ust...

MELVIN

3leapin& at t'e ('an(e4

+t,s been *i)e weeks... anot'er

*ew won,t kill me.

FRANK

No. ;e wants 'im ba(k. ;e,ll be

by tomorrow.

MELVIN

3too loudly$ weirdly4

Okay by me.

!rank e=its.

25


26/86

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Mel)in sits 9erdell looks up at 'im. Mel)in walks to

t'e door. ;e turns t'e lo(k... t'en ('e(ks t'at t'ey are

lo(ked... ('e(ks a&ain to make sure 'e turned t'em in t'e

(orre(t dire(tion... turns *rom t'e door... t'en ba(k to

('e(k on(e more. And a&ain... and a&ain... an&uis'ed$until now 'e breaks brie*ly$ t'e do& lookin& on.

INT. NEW YORK BUILDING - MELVIN'S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY

Mel)in opens t'e door looks at t'e s(arred Simon in a

w'eel('air and s'udders...

MELVIN

T'at,s some *a(e t'ey le*t 'an&in&

on you. 5ou look like...

SIMON

3interruptin&4

"ould you take it -ust a little

easy$ Mr.


27/86

you e)eryt'in&.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

MELVIN'S POV

9erdell,s towel on t'e *loor near 'is bowl.

BACK TO SCENE

Mel)in,s lips (ompress... 'e sits on t'e piano ben(' and

'its a *ew keys... looks at 9erdell,s empty spot a&ain...

t'ere are t'ose w'o 7&et t'e -oke7 Mel)in is (learly

one 'e lau&'s suddenly and 'elplessly e)en as 'e *eels

t'e pani( rise in 'im...

... all 'is painstakin& su((ess in keepin& t'e lid on and

now it t'reatens to blow *or a reason 'e arti(ulates.

MELVIN

O)er t'e do&... an u&ly do&.

+t,s 'ilarious. But now t'e 'umor detours. An a(tual

sob is ('oked ba(k... 'e &ets up *ollowin& a de*inite

pattern a(ross t'e room. ;e is (ondu(tin& a small but

'i&'eststakes *i&'t *or sur)i)al. Momentarily a s(ared$

beaten middlea&ed man 'e ra(es out t'e door.

EXT. NYC STREETS - DAY

Mel)in ('ar&in& as *ast as (ra(k ('e(ks allow and t'en

turnin& into a buildin& wit' a (opper si&n readin&

7Grammer(y 6ark 6sy('iatri( Group.7

MELVIN

Worst sidewalk in New 5ork and

look w'ere t'ey put in.

INT. PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE - DAY

Mel)in bursts in on t'e psy('iatrist and emits one word.

MELVIN

;elp:

DOCTOR

+* you want to see me you will not

do t'is. 5ou will make an

appointment...

MELVIN

E=plain to me 'ow you (an dia&nosesomeone as 7obsessi)e (ompulsi)e

disorder7 and t'en a(t like + 'a)e

any ('oi(e in bar&in& in.

DOCTOR

T'ere,s not &oin& to be a debate.

5ou must lea)e.

T'e #o(tor mo)es into t'e 'allway$ *or(in& Mel)in to

*ollow.

MELVIN

5ou said you (ould 'elp me

w'at was t'at a tease1

DOCTOR

27


28/86

+ (an 'elp you i* you take t'e

responsibility to keep re&ular

app

MELVIN

3suddenly4

5ou ('an&ed t'e room around...

DOCTOR

Two years a&o...

Mel)in s'akes 'is 'ead as i* t'in&s weren,t bad enou&'

'e must &o t'rou&' a (are*ul e=er(ise notin& e)ery new

element be*ore 'e,s at all (om*ortable... as 'e studies

ea(' ob-e(t. T'e #o(tor is pro*essionally intri&ued

despite 'imsel*.

DOCTOR

+ also re&rew my beard... but

you,re not interested in ('an&es

in me... so it,s like + always

told you... w'en it (omes to

people you...

MELVIN

S'''''''. + don,t 'a)e t'is

mountain o* a)ailable time... +

&ot to &et to my restaurant on

time. #o you know 'ow 'ard it is

*or me to be 'ere1

DOCTOR

5es.

3as Mel)in starts

*or t'e o**i(e4

No.

INT. PSYCHIATRISTS' WAITING ROOM - DAY

More 6AT+ENTS in t'e almost(rowded waitin& room. Mel)in

passes t'rou&' )isibly drawn and upset. ;e stops.

Eyes on t'em. T'en?

MELVIN

3to ot'er patients4

W'at i* t'is is as &ood as it

&ets1

T'ey look stri(ken. ;e e=its.

INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY

As 'e walks to 'is boot' and sits down. Enormous relie*.

";E%5L$ a 'ea)yset waitress$ relu(tantly mo)es to 'is

table unseen by Mel)in as 'e takes out 'is utensils

and arran&es t'em. +n a (orner boot'$ *our bi& T%ANS+T

A


29/86

to &et a -ob (loser to 'ome.

MELVIN

W'at are you tryin& to do to me1

CHERYL

W'at t'e 'e(k do you mean1

MELVIN

;ey$ elep'ant &irl$ (all 'er or

somet'in&... -ust let 'er do my

one meal 'ere. +,ll pay w'ate)er.

+,ll wait.

3as s'e doesn,t

bud&eF 'e s(reams4

#o it:::

T'e MANAGE% (omes o)er$ &esturin& to t'e table o* poli(e

t'at 'e (an 'andle it. All attention is on Mel)in.

MANAGER

Out. Be silent or lea)e.

MELVIN

+,ll be uiet. Just let me wait.

No problem. Get 'er 'ere 'a)e

'er &et me two sausa&es$ *our

ba(on$ two e&&s o)er easy and

(o**ee. +,m not a pri(k 'ere

+,m a &reat (ustomer. T'is day is

a disaster. + (an,t 'andle t'is$

too.

MANAGER

Get out immediately or t'ere,s

&oin& to be trouble.

Mel)in looks at t'e poli(e$ si>es up t'e 'opeless

situation and rises.

MELVIN

T'ere,s &oin& to be trouble111

;e walks toward t'e door as "'eryl and all t'e ot'er

employees applaud 'is de*eat. As 'e passes a B


30/86

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DOORHALLWAY - DAY

"arol opens t'e door -ust as 'e arri)es on 'er landin&.

S'e 'olds a (ontainer o* i(e$ was'(lot'es and a

t'ermometer.

MELVIN+,m 'un&ry.

3on "arol,s astonis'ed

look4

5ou,)e upset my w'ole day. +

'a)en,t eaten.

CAROL

W'at are you doin& 'ere1

Mel)in i&nores t'e uestion$ instead answerin& a ('ar&e

'e 'ad ima&ined s'e mi&'t make...

MELVIN

T'is is not a se=ist t'in&. +*

you were a waiter + would still be

'ere sayin&...

CAROL

Are you totally &one1 T'is is my

pri)ate 'ome...

MELVIN

+ am tryin& to keep emotions out o*

t'is. E)en t'ou&' t'is is an

important issue to me and + 'a)e

stron& *eelin&s about t'e sub-e(t.

CAROL

W'at sub-e(t1 T'at + wasn,t t'ereto take (rap *rom you and brin&

you e&&s1 #o you 'a)e any (ontrol

o)er 'ow (reepy you allow yoursel*

to &et1

MELVIN

5es$ + do$ as a matter o* *a(t...

and to pro)e it + 'a)e not &otten

personal and you 'a)e. W'y aren,t

you at work1 5ou,re not si(k

you don,t look si(k... -ust )ery

tired and bitter.

CAROL

My son is si(k$ okay1

E)en sayin& t'e senten(e$ 7My son is si(k7 pus'es some

emotions toward t'e sur*a(e w'i(' are wasted on t'e (ra>y

man at 'er t'res'old.

MELVIN

W'at about your mot'er1

CAROL

;ow do you know about my mot'er1

MELVIN

+ 'ear you talk w'en +,m

waitin&:::

S'e (rosses to t'e sink to dump t'e i(e. Mel)in takes a

30


31/86

step inside. Spen(er$ se)en and lookin& ill$ walks into

t'e room.

CAROL

Sorry$ 'oney... +,ll be ri&'t

t'ere.

MELVIN3un(om*ortably4

;ow ya doin&1

Spen(er -ust stares at 'im.

MELVIN

3mi**ed4

5ou s'ould answer w'en someone

talks to you...

"arol eyes Mel)in wit' dis&ust and disbelie* t'en

emp'ati(ally &estures 'im to 7(lear out.7 Mel)in ba(ks

out t'e door.

CAROL

Sorry. T'ere is a limit$ Mel)in$

and + (an,t 'andle you tea('in&

my son manners.

S'e (loses t'e door in 'is *a(e$ t'en walks to 'er son

and leads 'im ba(k to 'is room.

INT. SPENCER'S ROOM

"AME%A MO9ES TOWA%# mot'er and son sittin& on t'e ed&e o*

Spen(er,s bed. S'e 'olds a di&ital t'ermometer to 'is

ear. T'ey bot' (ount down t'e se(onds.

CAROL AND SPENCER/... H... 8... ... ... Bin&o.

SPENCER

"#$.%

CAROL

We are &oin& to treat oursel)es to

a (ab ride.

EXT. BROOKLYN SIDEWALK - ANGLE ON CAROL - DAY

As "arol (arries 'er youn& son t'rou&' a (lass o*

uni*ormed 2+#S *rom a "at'oli( elementary s('ool. S'e

spots Mel)in about to enter a (ab.

CAROL

Mel)in$ wait:

T'e s('ool kids pi(k up t'e ('ant in unison.

SCHOOL KIDS

Mel)in$ wait: Mel)in$ wait:

Mel)in$ wait:

;e turns to *a(e t'em.

MELVIN

S'ut up$ kids:

T'ey immediately obey as "arol approa('es 'im.

31


32/86

CAROL

Mel)in... &i)e us a li*t. We,)e

&ot to &o see our *riends at t'e

'ospital.

Mel)in is t'rown... 'e pauses a beat... t'en 'olds t'e

rear door open as "arol 'ustles t'e kid inside. T'e

maneu)er puts t'e beet red$ sweatin& Spen(er at 'is *a(e.

MELVIN

+,ll ride up *ront. "o)er your

mout' w'en you (ou&'$ kid.

INT. BROOKLYN CAB - DAY

As t'ey settle in and dri)e o**.

CAROL

Brooklyn 6resbyterian ;ospital$

please and ui(kly please.

EXT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY

As "arol enters t'e 'ospital.

CAROL

3(allin& ba(k4

+ owe you t'ree dollars.

Mel)in *ollows be'ind 'er as s'e (arries 'er son...

MELVIN

5ea'$ yea'... any ('an(e you,ll

&et ba(k to work today1

CAROL

3*uriously4No::: Stay away *rom me:


9erdell lies -ust inside t'e *ront door w'imperin& *or

Mel)in. Ja(kie sits a(ross *rom Simon,s w'eel ('air...

s'e 'as some inde= (ards in 'er laps w'i(' s'e

o((asionally (onsults and s'u**les.

!ACKIE

+ *eel terrible t'at + 'a)e to...

Simon1 !or&et about t'e do& *or a

se(ond.

Simon *or(es 'is attention to Ja(kie.

SIMON

Sorry. W'at are t'ose (ards1

!ACKIE

3a bit embarrassed4

!rank,s idea. ;e t'ou&'t + s'ould

'a)e notes so + did t'is ri&'t...

maintained *o(us$ didn,t &et

emotional and tried not to terri*y

you.

SIMON

3s(ared s'itless4Terri*y me1

32


33/86

!ACKIE

See$ 'e,s ri&'t. + need t'e

(ards.

3readin& *rom (ards4

Simon$ you,re broke.

ANGLE ON VERDELL

as t'eir (on)ersation (ontinues t'e do& is distressed.

!ACKIE (O.S.)

T'e medi(al bill are I t'ousand

now. +,)e spoken to your parents

and t'ey didn,t 'an& up or

anyt'in& t'ey -ust said t'ey

would *eel stran&e (allin& you.

SIMON (O.S.)

Well$ + (an,t rea(' t'em.

9erdell walks out on t'e terra(e and looks o**. ;e turns

*or?

SIMON

3to 9erdell4

;ere$ baby... w'at is it$

9erdell1... 5ou miss t'e tou&'

&uy...

3tryin& to be

Mel)inlike4

Well$ 'ere + am$ you little pissant

mop$ 'appy to see me1 ;ow about

anot'er ride down t'e ('ute1 O'$

God... + don,t mean it$

sweet'eart...

3on Ja(kie,s look4

+,m sorry. + know...

9erdell 'ides be'ind a ('air.

!ACKIE

!rank lo)es you. 5ou know t'at...

but +,)e spoken to 'im and 'e

*eels t'at

3readin& *rom (ard4

as a businessman$ wit' limited

resour(es...

SIMON

+,ll be able to keep my apartment

and studio$ won,t +1... Just tell

me.

As Ja(kie looks at 'im t'en t'umbs *or a (ard.

SIMON

3o)erw'elmed4

Wow...

9erdell 'as (ome near 'im 'e rea('es out a 'and to pet

t'e do& and t'e do& du(ks.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - DAY

;e is tryin& to write. ;e (an,t. ;is world 'as been upset.

;e walks away *rom 'is work a 'i&'ly unusual a(t. ;eis distressed and t'en an idea and 'e e=its.

33


34/86

INT. PUBLISHER'S OFFICE - DAY

We are lookin& at OE$ t'e re(eptionist. S'e is listenin&

wit' interest to an O.S. (on)ersation w'ile answerin&

p'one (alls$ 76remier 6ublis'in&.7

FEMALE EXECUTIVE (O.S.)

5es$ you write more t'an anyoneelse. 5es$ you make us a lot o*

money$ but isn,t t'ere someone

more appropriate to...

MELVIN (O.S.)

+ need t'is. Just say$ 7Mel)in$

+,ll try$7 okay1

FEMALE EXECUTIVE (O.S.)

3resi&ned4

Mel)in$ +,ll try.

T'ey appear now t'e woman tall$ attra(ti)e$ et(. S'e

pauses at t'e ele)ator.

FEMALE EXECUTIVE

Now$ on a pleasant note$ our son

&ot a((epted at Brown. My

'usband...

MELVIN

3(urtly4

Great$ wonder*ul. + don,t need

you to wait wit' me.

S'e nods$ pissed$ wa)es and lea)es. As Mel)in waits$ oe

summons 'er mo=ie.

&OE+ (an,t resist. 5ou usually mo)e

t'rou&' 'ere so ui(kly and + 'a)e

so many uestions + want to ask

you. 5ou 'a)e no idea w'at your

work means to me.

MELVIN

W'at,s it mean1

&OE

T'at somebody out t'ere knows w'at

it,s like to be...

3taps 'er 'ead and 'eart4

in 'ere.

MELVIN

O' God$ t'is is like a ni&'tmare.

&OE

Aw (ome on$ -ust a (ouple o*

uestions 'ow 'ard is t'at1

As 'e 'its t'e button$ wipes 'is *in&ers$ 'its t'e button

et(.

&OE

;ow do you write women so well1

MELVIN3as 'e turns

toward 'er4

34


35/86

+ t'ink o* a man and take away

reason and a((ountability.

T'e *an is -olted as t'e ele)ator doors open and (lose.

EXT. STREET NEAR CAROL'S BUILDING - DAY

A depleted$ e='austed "arol approa('es 'er 'ome. S'e issuddenly wary SO


36/86

SPENCER

3to 'is mot'er4

;i...

3t'ey kiss4

#id you know t'ere are do(tors w'o

(ome to your 'ouse1

CAROL

No$ + didn,t.

3to Bettes4

So w'y are you '...

Be)erly$ "arol,s mot'er$ enters t'e room. S'e is ebullient

w'i('$ i* li*e allowed$ would be 'er natural state.

BEVERLY

+ didn,t know you 'ad a se(ret

admire.

CAROL

;u'1

BEVERLY

5ou met t'e &i*t.

SPENCER

;e,s &ood... And +,m an e=pert on

do(tors.

CAROL

3to Spen(er4

Stay out o* t'is... #o(tor1

DR. BETTES

My wi*e is Mel)in


37/86

ba(k today.

"arol and 'er mot'er e=('an&e a look o* in(redulity.

CAROL

5ou,re &oin& to &et t'e results

today1:

MOVING SHOT

As we approa(' t'e do(tor and "arol seated a(ross *rom

ea(' ot'er at a small table... so*t )oi(es... rela=ation.

Bettes is e=aminin& medi(ine bottles.

DR. BETTES

;ow lon& 'as 'e been 'a)in&

problems1

CAROL

Sin(e *ore)er.

DR. BETTES

;a)e t'ey done blood tests on 'im1

CAROL

5es.

DR. BETTES

Only in t'e emer&en(y room or w'en

'e was well.

CAROL

Emer&en(y room only.

DR. BETTES

;a)e t'ey done skin testin& *or

aller&ies1

CAROL

No.

DR. BETTES

T'ey 'a)en,t done t'e standard

s(rat(' test. W'ere t'ey make

small in-e(tions into t'e skin1

CAROL

No. + asked. T'ey said it,s not

(o)ered under my plan. And it,s

not ne(essary anyway.

DR. BETTES+t,s ama>in& t'ese t'in&s weren,t

done.

CAROL

!u(kin& ;.M.O. bastard pie(e o*

s'it... +,m sorry... *or&i)e me.

DR. BETTES

No. A(tually$ + t'ink t'at,s

t'eir te('ni(al name.

CAROL

On(e t'e tests (ome ba(k$ is t'ere

someone + (an rea(' in your o**i(e*or t'e results1

37


38/86

DR. BETTES

Me. My 'ome number is on t'is

(ard.

CAROL

;is 'ome number.

"arol look at 'er mot'er t'ey s'are a lau&'. Be)erly'as a 'ard time stoppin&.

CAROL

3to do(tor4

#o you want some -ui(e or (o**ee

or two *emale sla)es1

DR. BETTES

Water... Nobody told you it mi&'t

be a &ood idea to remo)e t'e

(arpetin& and drapes in Spen(er,s

room1

CAROL

No.

S'e starts towards Spen(er,s room.

DR. BETTES

5ou don,t 'a)e to do it t'is

se(ond... it,s not dan&erous or

anyt'in&. +t,s -ust somet'in&

t'at,s ad)isable. Look$ t'ere,s

a lot to be ('e(ked but... ;ey$

your son is &oin& to *eel a

&ood deal better at t'e )ery

least...

S'e pats 'is 'ead... T'en embra(es 'im wit' *ier(eintima(y.

CAROL

#o(:::

3t'en4

So listen$ you &otta let me know

about t'e additional (osts one

way or t'e ot'er we,ll...

DR. BETTES

T'ey,re (onsiderable. But Mr.


39/86

s'arp intake o* breat' s'e,s *or&otten somet'in&.

SIMON

W'at,s wron&1

NORA

W'o,s &oin& to walk 9erdell1

Simon 'adn,t t'ou&'t o* t'is eit'er.

SIMON

No$ no.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - DAY

Nora 'oldin& 'er t'in&s$ kno(ks on Mel)in,s door. Mel)in

opens t'e door. Nora is still sni**lin&. ;e misinterprets.

MELVIN

+s 'e dead yet1

NORA

No: Would t'ere be any way *or

you to be willin& to walk 'is do&

*or 'im1

MELVIN

Absolutely.

NORA

Not -ust today


40/86

to blo(k out t'at *a(t.

BEVERLY

#o you really want to &o ba(k to

t'e runt do(tors in Emer&en(y w'o

keep tellin& us t'ey (an,t 'elp1

CAROL+t lets a (ra>y man into our

li)es.

BEVERLY

"ome on. W'y *i&'t w'en we know

'ow it will (ome out. T'is isn,t

like sto(kin& or a strin& o*

pearls. 5ou don,t send t'is one

ba(k.

EXT. NEW YORK APARTMENT - ESTABLISHING - DAY


S'ades drawn. Simon is a w'eel('air... t'e 6;ONE %+NGS.

;e &oes to answer... t'e p'one a(ross t'e bed so t'at

rea('in& *or t'e p'one is a brie* but di**i(ult

stru&&le... 'e &runts wit' pain$ 'ope and an=iety as 'e

answers.

SIMON

;ello1... yes... sure... *inally$

'u'1 W'y$ 7*inally71 Be(ause +

(alled you so many times. Maybe

#.

3relie*4

O'$ boy... + was 'opin& it was

somet'in& like t'at. 5ou didn,t

&et one o* t'em$ 'u'1 ,"ause +mean it wasn,t only your o**i(e

it was your 'ome$ 'otel and t'e

(i&ar (lub you like in San

!ran(is(o. No Sar(asti(... O*

(ourse. + belie)e you. No$ don,t

*ire anyone... 6lease. Maybe +,m

wron& about t'e 0 times. Take a

breat'...

3more4

So$ you miss me a little1 ;ey$

strike t'e uestion ;ow,s t'e

(ase &oin&1 %eally. !antasti(.

+ didn,t 'ear. + 'a)en,t been

wat('in&. Great. Just &reat.

+,m so 'appy. W'oopie: Me1Well$ +,m mendin&. No$ + look

*ine. Well$ some o* t'e dama&e

mi&'t still be noti(eable i* you

look (losely...

;e runs a 'and a(ross 'is s(arred and still bloated and

beaten *a(e...

SIMON

"arl$ + need some 'elp and you,re

t'e lo&i(al one to turn to.

3a&'ast4

No: Not ,(ause + blame you *or

w'at 'appened. + 'ardly &et 'owyou (an e)er t'ink t'at. No$ +,m

not bein& sar(asti(.

40


41/86

3tryin& to *i&ure it

out4

+ &uess be(ause you 'ired t'e &uy

w'o did t'is you t'ink... No$ + am

a sar(asti( person. Well$ i*

you must know$ t'e reason + said

you were t'e lo&i(al person is

be(ause you always told me 'ow yout'ou&'t + was t'is &reat person

w'o made you *eel &ood about

'umanity and e)eryt'in&. 5ou do

rememberin& sayin& t'at1 Well$ w'ew.

Okay$ so "arl. + 'ate askin& but

t'is money t'in& is ridi(ulously

serious...

;e pi(ks up an inde= (ard *rom 'is ni&'t stand and takes

t'e leap readin& t'e te=t 'e prepared in ad)an(e.

SIMON

7Will you please loan me money1 +

will pay you ba(k. + will &i)e

you w'ate)er per(enta&e o* my

in(ome + don,t absolutely need

until + do. +t will take a w'ile.

But + don,t know w'at +,ll do i*

you say7... t'at.

3as 'e listens4

+ understand... yes... No$ + do.

3a bit o* boldness4

But you know$ you know you

didn,t e)en ask 'ow mu('$ "arl1

Well$ !rank 'as no ri&'t to

dis(uss 'ow mu(' +,m in 'o(k...

no$ you,re ri&'t not t'e point.

So... w'at 'a)e you been up to111

)ous

wit' t'e moment o* (at'arsis...

... but Simon is denied e)en t'is small lu=ury as t'e

"AME%A AB%


42/86

SIMON

+* you,ll e=(use me +,m not

*eelin& so well.

MELVIN

+t smells like s'it in 'ere1

SIMONGo away.

MELVIN

T'at (leanin& woman doesn,t...

SIMON

6lease$ -ust lea)e.

MELVIN

W'ere are all your ueer party

*riends1

SIMON

3'is *irst s'out4

Get out.

Mel)in pauses Simon weepin&... 9erdell looks at Simon

wit' (on(ern. Mel)in is t'rown. Mo)ed1

SIMON

Not'in& worse t'an 'a)in& to *eel

t'is way in *ront o* you1

MELVIN

Nellie$ you,re a dis&ra(e to

depression.

SIMON

%ot in 'ell$ Mel)in.

MELVIN

No need to stop bein& a lady...

uit worryin& you,ll be ba(k on

your knees in no time.

Simon swin&s 'is arm and (ast at Mel)in t'e sudden

atta(k -olts Mel)in but not as mu(' as w'at *ollows.

SIMON

+s t'is *un *or you1 Well$ you

lu(ky de)il... +t -ust &ets better

and better. + am losin& my

apartment and !rank wants me to

promise to paint 'otter sub-e(tsand to be& my parents$ w'o 'a)en,t

(alled$ *or 'elp... and + won,t.

And + don,t want to paint anymore.

Mel)in 'as made *or t'e door... Simon blo(ks 'im.

SIMON

So t'e li*e + was tryin& *or is

o)er. T'e li*e + 'ad is &one and

+ am *eelin& so damn sorry *or

mysel* t'at it is di**i(ult to

breat'e. %i&'t times *or you

'u'$ Mel)in. T'e &ay nei&'bor is

terri*ied...3a sudden s(reamed

word surprises t'em

42


43/86

bot'4

Terri*ied... Lu(ky you$ you,re

'ere *or ro(k bottom... me

wallowin& in sel*pity in *ront o*

you$ you absolute 'orror o* a

'uman bein&...

As Simon works to stop (ryin&$ Mel)in is weird wit'dis(om*ort.

MELVIN

Well$ +,ll do one t'in& *or you

t'at mi&'t ('eer you up.

SIMON

Get out.

MELVIN

#on,t piss on a &i*t$ tou&' &uy.

5ou want to know w'y t'e do&

pre*ers me... it,s not a**e(tion.

+t,s a tri(k.

Simon looks up$ 'is mood turnin& on a dime 'e,s

rapt... Mel)in (omes and stands by 'is w'eel('air.

MELVIN

+ (arry ba(on in my po(ket.

SIMON

3pleased4

O'$ my &os'.

MELVIN

3'ands 'im ba(on4

Now we,ll bot' (all 'im.

SIMON

"ome on$ sweet'eart...

MELVIN

5o$ yo$ yo...

9erdell &oes like a bullet to Mel)in... w'o is totally

surprised and sta&&ered by t'e impli(ations. True lo)e

and su('.

SIMON

Would you lea)e now$ please1

MELVIN

Stupid do&.3to Simon4

+ don,t &et it.

;e e=its... lookin& apolo&eti(ally at Simon in stoi(

ruin.

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

"arol in bed on t'e pullout so*a... S'e is in turmoil...

t'ere is T;


44/86

"arol uietly e=tra(ts a dress *rom t'e (loset$ lea)in&

'er ni&'t&own on t'e *loor. T'ere is somet'in& se=y

'ere$ t'e woman in "arol ('urnin&. S'e plops on a summer

dress no time *or underwear.

EXT. BROOKLYN STREET - NIGHT

"arol seein& a bus and das'in& a*ter it.

EXT. MANHATTAN BRIDGE - TWO AM

"arol (rossin& to Man'attan. S'e looks as i* s'e,s on

'er way to some *inal e=am w'ere s'e 'as no notion o* t'e

sub-e(t.

EXT. NEW YORK CITY STREET - NEAR MELVIN'S BUILDING -

NIGHT (RAIN)

;ot summer ni&'t as s'e &ets o** t'e bus and now t'e

rains (ome... We are in a *amiliar nei&'bor'ood.

ANGLE ON MELVIN AND SIMON'S APARTMENT HOUSE

As "arol (onsults t'e slip o* paper wit' t'e address on

it.

INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT (RAIN)

As s'e enters buildin& and reali>es it,s not -ust t'at

s'e,s wet t'e t'in summer dress is a winner in any wet

Ts'irt (ontest... t'e *abri( (lin&in& to 'er breasts$

like t'e old mo)ie poster o* T'e #eep.

INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - HALLWAY - NIGHT

As "arol passes Simon,s door... stands in *ront o*Mel)in,s apartment twists 'ersel* to ease ner)ousness

and kno(ks on t'e door... t'en %+NGS t'e BELL. !inally

"arol 'ears M


45/86

3tearin& suddenly4

... t'ou&' you 'a)e no idea w'at

it,s like to 'a)e a real

(on)ersation wit' a do(tor about

Spen(er...

MELVIN

3)ery un(om*ortable4Note. 6ut it in t'e note.

CAROL

W'y did yo do t'is *or me1

MELVIN

To &et you ba(k at work so you (an

wait on me.

CAROL

But you do 'a)e some idea 'ow

stran&e t'at sounds111 +,m

worried t'at you did t'is

be(ause...

S'e pauses t'e be&innin& o* an e=traordinarily lon&

silen(e. !inally.

MELVIN

5ou waitin& *or me to say

somet'in&1

3as s'e s'akes 'er 'ead4

W'at sort o* t'in& do you want1

Look$ +,ll be at t'e restaurant

tomorrow.

CAROL

+ don,t t'ink + (an wait until

tomorrow. T'is needs (learin& up.

MELVIN

W'at needs (learin& up1

CAROL

3stron& and true4

+,m not &oin& to sleep wit' you.

+ will ne)er$ e)er sleep wit' you.

Ne)er. Not e)er.

Mel)in,s rea(tion1 Well$ 'e,ll ne)er &et (redit *or t'e

brie* but intense inner stru&&le t'e stru&&le not to

s(ream

not to (ry to pro(ess t'e sudden and stunnin& 'urtdurin& 'is 'al* turn away *rom 'er and t'en answer

'oarsely.

MELVIN

+,m sorry. We don,t open *or t'e

nose= oat's until D a.m.

"arol is amused$ surprised... maybe$ in some small way

e)er taken by 'is style... but top priority is (larity.

CAROL

+,m not kiddin&.

MELVINOkay:::: Anyt'in& else1:1

45


46/86

CAROL

Just 'ow &rate*ul + am.

;er mission (ompleted s'e turns.

MELVIN

So you,ll be at work1

CAROL

5es.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

+t,s a 8? a.m. as t'e two di&ital (lo(ks on Mel)in,s

ni&'t stand tell us... ;e &ets up t'e *irst time we,)e

seen 'is wakin& routine taps one *oot on t'e *loor

twi(e t'en t'e ot'er *oot two more taps and 'is

body an&les *rom t'e bed in a deliberate way.

;e is 'a)in& an=iety. ;e sits at t'e piano and plays

)ery brie*ly... Stops wipes some sweat *rom 'is

*ore'ead... Walks to 'is (omputer room turns t'e li&'t

on and t'en ui(kly o**... Walks to 'is re*ri&erator...

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT, KITCHEN, INSIDE REFRIGERATOR -

NIGHT

As 'e &rabs a (ardboard takeout bo=...

INT. NEW YORK APT. BUILDING - HALLWAYSIMON'S APT.

;e kno(ks o* Simon,s door... +t opens ui(kly.

SIMON'S APARTMENT

MELVIN

+ took a ('an(e you were up.

Simon walks pain*ully ba(k to a ('air.

MELVIN

+ brou&'t you "'inese soup.

SIMON

T'anks.

MELVIN

+ 'a)e ne)er been so tired in my

li*e. Okay$ i* + sit 'ere1

SIMON

Got any easier uestions1

Mel)in sits and moans t'e do& sittin& near 'im.

MELVIN

+ 'a)en,t been sleepin&. +

'a)en,t been (lear or *elt like

mysel*. +,m in trouble. Some son

o* a bit(' is burnin& my brid&es

be'ind my ba(k... But t'e

tiredness boy... Not -ust

sleepy.

SIMON

But si(k nauseous w'eree)eryt'in& looks distorted and

e)eryt'in& inside -ust a('es

46


47/86

w'en you (an barely &et up t'e

will to (omplain.

MELVIN

3bri&'tenin&4

5ea'...

;e *eels a tou(' o* (ommunity and not knowin& w'ere totake it *rom 'ere.

MELVIN

+,m &lad we did t'is.

;e rises and makes an awkward e=it.

MELVIN

Good talkin& to you.

;e e=its Simon pu>>led and (on(erned.

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

"arol seated workin& on a letter... S'e is tryin& to

e=press 'er &ratitude... An enormous s'ea* o* (ompleted

pa&es sit ne=t to 'er... S'e is so in)ol)ed s'e doesn,t

e)en look up as a youn& man$ SEAN$ kno(ks on t'e door and

is let in by Be)erly.

T'ey e=('an&e &reetin&s and mo)e inside w'ere we *aintly

'ear Spen(er &reetin& 'im... We MO9E +N and read o)er

"arol,s s'oulder 7+,m sorry to 'a)e &otten sloppy and

emotional in t'is letter$ but it would 'a)e been on my

(ons(ion(e 3si(4 *ore)er i* + didn,t tell you 'ow

&rate*ull 3si(4... 7

BEVERLY

5ou,re not still writin& t'att'ankyou note1

CAROL

+,m on t'e last pa&e. ;ow do you

spell (ons(ien(e1

BEVERLY

"ons(ien(e. + &ot Sean

*rom t'e bakery to babysit so

let,s &o out.

CAROL

+ still don,t *eel sa*e lea)in&

Spen(er wit' someone. ;ow do you

spell it a&ain1

BEVERLY

Spen(er is okay. 5ou,d better

start *indin& somet'in& else to do

wit' your *ree time. +* you (an,t

*eel &ood about t'is break and

step out a little...

3struts and pumps

'er arms4

5ou ou&'t to &et Mr.


48/86

w'at,s really &oin& on 'ere. +

'a)e to *inis' t'is letter or

+,ll &o nuts.

3lookin& at paperF

weepy4

T'is (an,t be ri&'t (on

s(ien(e.

"arol breat'es 'ea)ily &ets (ontrol$ stoppin& 'ersel*

on t'e brink o* (ryin&.

BEVERLY

"arol. W'at1

"arol is ama>ed at 'ersel*... t'at s'e mi&'t not be able

to stem t'e *low... wideeyed wit' appre'ension$ s'e

looks at 'er mot'er$ w'o$ in return$ only nods permission

*or "arol to let it &o. A last de*iant snort *rom "arol

and t'en s'e is o)erw'elmed. T'e 'eadline (omes *irst.

CAROL

+ don,t know... +t,s )ery stran&e

not *eelin& t'at stupid pani(

t'in& inside you all t'e time.

Wit'out t'at you -ust start

t'inkin& about yoursel* and

w'at does t'at e)er &et anybody.

Today$ on t'e bus t'ere was t'is

adorable (ouple and + *elt mysel*

&i)in& t'em a dirty look + 'ad

no idea e)eryt'in& was...

BEVERLY

Go a'ead.

CAROL

3&reat$ *or(e*ul'and &estures4

... mo)in& in t'e wron&

dire(tion... Away *rom w'en +

e)en remembered w'at it was like

to 'a)e a man to... anyt'in&...

'old *u(kin& sorry 'ands

wit'$ *or "'rist,s sake. + was

*eelin& like really bad t'at #r.

Bettes is married.

3t'is ne=t one,s

tou&'4

W'i(' is probably w'y + make poor

Spen(er 'u& me more t'an 'e wants

to... Like t'e poor kid doesn,t

'a)e enou&' problems. ;e 'as tomake up *or 'is mom not &ettin&

any.

3weeps at 'er

insi&'t4

O'$ boy. W'o needs t'ese

t'ou&'ts1

BEVERLY

Spen(er,s doin& *ine. So w'at are

you sayin&$ t'at you,re *rustr...

CAROL

Lea)e me be: W'y are you doin&

t'is1 W'y are you pi(kin& at mysores... W'at is it t'at you

want1... 5ou want w'at1 W'at,s

48


49/86

wit' you1 + 'ope &ettin& me

t'inkin& o* e)eryt'in& t'at,s

wron& w'en all + want is to not

do t'is 'as some purpose.

3pu**yF redF

*urious4

W'at is it$ Mom1 No kiddin&.

Slumped$ *ou&'t out "arol &ets out one last$ naked

'usky )oi(ed uestion.

CAROL

W'at is it you want1 W'at1

BEVERLY

+ want us to &o out.

A beat$ t'en.

CAROL

3simply4

Okay.

INT. CAROL'S APT, SPENCER'S ROOM, HALLWAY - NIGHT

As t'ey enter$ still wipin& away t'e e**e(ts o* t'eir

(ry.

CAROL

3to Sean4

We,re &oin& out.

SEAN

3lookin& at t'eir

red eyes4

Looks like *un.

S'e kisses Spen(er almost &ettin& in)ol)ed in w'at

'e,s doin& t'en sees 'er mot'er waitin&.

CAROL

Okay we,re out o* 'ere. + lo)e

you.

Spen(er nods in)ol)ed wit' Sean. "AME%A !OLLOWS "arol

as s'e e=its t'e apartment 'er mot'er leadin&.

;al*way down t'e stairs$ s'e stops and re)erses 'ersel*$

&oin& ba(k to t'e apartment w'i(' s'e reenters t'en

to 'er son to ask?

CAROL

#o you lo)e me1

SPENCER


50/86

ot'er and (ontinue walkin&$ turnin& into a (orner bar.

INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - CLOSE ON CAROL - DAY

As "arol stands ner)ously w'ile Lisa *inis'es readin& 'er

Hpa&e letter. +n t'e b.&. Mel)in and !rank are seated

at t'e same table and in earnest (on)ersation. Lisa

keeps *li(kin& away tears a *ew drops on t'e pa&es.

CAROL

#on,t &et it wet.

Lisa brus'es t'e paper *inis'es and embra(es "arol.

CAROL

So it,s okay1

LISA

5ou almost 'a)e me likin& 'im.

5ou sure (ome *rom t'e 'eart. +

ne)er knew w'at you went t'rou&'

wit' e)eryt'in&.

CAROL

+ wanted 'im to know 'ow mu(' 'e,d

done.

3lookin& o)er4

"an you belie)e 'e,s eatin& wit'

someone.

ON MELVIN FRANK

MELVIN

+t,s not my do& and t'is Simon

seems to 'a)e enou&' on 'is mind

but 'e did t'row up twi(e and

'is spark is o**.

FRANK

Sure take 'im to t'e )et.

MELVIN

+ did. And 'is stoma(' is out o*

w'a(k. So t'ey need 'im *or a

(ouple o* days.

FRANK

#o it.

CAROL

Mel)in.

S'e sel*(ons(iously 'ands 'im wit' t'e t'i(k en)elope.

MELVIN

W'at,s t'is1

CAROL

3sotto4

A t'ankyou note *or w'at you did

*or me.

;e 'ands it ba(k to 'er deliberately. S'e takes it and

walks ba(k to t'e ser)i(e area w'ere$ embarrassed$

(on*used$ and messed wit' s'e tosses t'e note.

A*ter "arol lea)es...

50


51/86

FRANK

S'e,s ni(e.

MELVIN

3to !rank4

%eally ni(e. S'ouldn,t t'at be a

&ood t'in&... tellin& someone$

,no t'anks reuired.,

FRANK

+t looks like it really went o)er.

5ou,re sure makin& t'e rounds.

Simon says you brou&'t 'im soup

last ni&'t. + 'ope 'e doesn,t

write you a note.

Mel)in looks up wary 'is brain sends a disturbin&

messa&e.

FRANK

W'at1

MELVIN

7W'at17 Look at you... 5ou sense

a mark.

FRANK

;ey you (alled me... +...

MELVIN

About a do&.

FRANK

5ea'$ but it,s all about Simon

now... you 'elped wit' t'e do&...

And now t'ere are ot'er t'in&s.

+,m -ust as (on(erned as you areabout Simon.

MELVIN

"on(erned. +,m -ust t'e 'all

monitor 'ere.

FRANK

+t,s not only *inan(ial

assistan(e. W'at 'e,s &ot to do

is &o to Baltimore tomorrow and

ask 'is parents *or money. +t,s

not &oin& to 'appen on t'e p'one.

MELVIN

5ea'. +* 'is parents are ali)et'ey,)e &ot to 'elp t'ose are

t'e rules. Good.

FRANK

5es. And tomorrow1 + 'a)e a 'i&'

maintenan(e sellin& painter (omin&

t'rou&'... So +,m out. "an you

take 'im1

MELVIN

T'ink w'ite and &et serious.

"arol enters s(ene.

FRANK

Take my (ar a (on)ertible. #o

51


52/86


53/86

No... no t'ank you notes.

CAROL

Well$ part o* w'at + said in t'is

entire 'istory o* my li*e w'i('

you won,t read is t'at some'ow

you,)e done more *or my mot'er$ my

son and me$ t'an anyone else e)er'as... And t'at makes you t'e most

important$ surprisin&$ &enerous

person +,)e e)er met and t'at you

be in our daily prayers *ore)er.

MELVIN

Lo)ely.

CAROL

+ also wrote one part... + wrote

+,m sorry... + was talkin& about +

was sorry w'en + &ot mad at you

w'en you (ame o)er and you told my

son t'at 'e ou&'t to answer ba(k

so + wrote t'at.

3readin& *rom t'e

letter$ Mel)in

wildly un(om*ortable4

+ was sorry *or bustin& you on

t'at... and +,m sorry *or bustin&

in on you t'at ni&'t... w'en +

said + was ne)er... + was sorry

and +,m sorry e)ery time your *ood

was (old and t'at you 'ad to wait

two se(onds *or a (o**ee *iller...

Mel)in wants to disappear but "arol is &ettin& into it

emotionally mo)ed by 'er own words.

CAROL

... and +,m sorry *or ne)er

spottin&$ ri&'t t'ere at t'e table

in t'e restaurant$ t'e 'uman bein&

t'at 'ad it in 'im to do t'is

t'in& *or us... 5ou know w'at$ +,m

-ust &oin& to start *rom t'e

be&innin&... + 'a)e not been able

to e=press my &rate*ulness to

you... e)en as + look at t'e word

7&rate*ul7 now it doesn,t be&in to

tell you w'at + *eel *or you...

And *inally "arol notes Mel)in,s mood and pauses.

MELVIN

Ni(e o* you... t'ank you.

CAROL

T'ank you.

MELVIN

Now + want you to do somet'in& *or me.

S'e looks at 'im *or a )ery stran&e$ lon& beat.

CAROL

O'$ +,m sorry... #idn,t + say$

7w'at17 + t'ou&'t + said$7w'at17... W'at1

53


54/86


55/86

too pretty and puts it ba(k... Now s'e looks in anot'er

drawer and pauses as i* s'e ponders one o* t'e mysteries

o* t'e a&es. S'e 'esitates t'en talks to 'ersel*.

INSERT -- UNDERWEAR DRAWER

;er best underwear neatly sta(ked alon&side 'er e)eryday

7&irl Jo(kies.7 S'e *in&ers t'e &ood stu** puts itba(k t'en t'e e)eryday 'esitates.

CAROL

3*uriously e=asperated4

T'ere,s not way to pa(k *or t'is

trip... well$ +,ll tell you +,m

not pa(kin& t'e (amera.

As s'e e=its t'e room

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT

As s'e pi(ks up t'e p'one.

INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT

Mel)in is in 'is bedroom e)eryt'in& 'e,s takin& neatly

sta(ked on t'e bed waitin& to be pa(ked 3'e is takin& a

(amera4. ;e 'as a list o* w'at 'e needs. All items

underwear$ so(ks$ et(... wit' *our ('e(ks ne=t to ea('

one and still 'e ('e(ks ea(' sta(k on t'e bed and adds

anot'er ('e(k. T'e 6;ONE %+NGS. T'is is an ama>in&

de)elopment. ;e 'as almost no re(ent e=perien(e wit'

re(ei)in& a ni&'ttime p'one (all. ;e makes a little

(omment to 'imsel* as 'e mo)es.

MELVIN

Woowoo.

;e stops brie*ly tryin& to remember w'ere t'e p'one is

and t'en$ rememberin&$ (rosses and pi(ks it up but

be*ore brin&in& it to 'is mout' ner)ously (lears 'is

t'roat.

ON CAROL

As s'e 'ears 'is t'roat bein& (leared. +t is not a

pretty sound. 3T'e *ollowin& (on)ersation is +NTE%"


56/86

(ertain.

CAROL

T'ere,s... t'ere,s no need to

brin& anyt'in& dressy... or... +

mean + didn,t know i* we,d be

eatin& at any restaurant t'at

'a)e dress (odes.

MELVIN

O'.

3a beat4

We mi&'t. 5es. We (an. Let,s.

CAROL

Okay$ &ot('a. W'at did you t'ink

+ was &oin& to ask1

MELVIN

W'et'er (rabs are in season t'ere

now...

CAROL

O'. Okay$ t'en Mel)in. Good

ni&'t.

INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - BEVERLY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Be)erly looks up e=pe(tantly as 'er dau&'ter enters.

BEVERLY

;ow was it talkin& to 'im1

CAROL

Stop treatin& t'is like +,m &oin&

away wit' a man. ;e,s -ust &oin&

to say t'ose (rappy$ si(k$(omplainin&$ an&ry t'in&s to me.

+ 'ate t'is$ Mom + 'ate t'is.

;e,s a *reak s'ow t'e worst

person + e)er met.

BEVERLY

Well$ maybe 'e 'as ni(e *riends.

EXT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

Be)erly and Spen(er wait wit' 'er. T'e bus approa('es.

S'e kisses t'em.

CAROL

3to Spen(er45ou stand t'ere and +,ll wa)e to

you *rom t'e ba(k window.

As s'e boards t'e bus.

BEVERLY

"all me as soon as you,re settled.

CAROL

3to Spen(er4

+ lo)e you.

T'e bus dri)er (loses t'e doors on 'er s'e s'o)es t'em

open.

CAROL

56


57/86

3to bus dri)er4

Sensiti)e$ 'u'1:

T'e bus pulls out. ;e runs a*ter t'e bus wa)in& at

'is mot'er w'o &rows (on(erned t'at 'e mi&'t be ta=in&

'imsel*.

INT. VETERINARIAN'S WAITING ROOM - DAY

A *emale 9ETE%+NA%+AN in sur&i(al s(rubs 'olds 9erdell as

Mel)in *inis'es *illin& out some *orms.

On opposite sides o* t'e waitin& room$ a )ery lar&e bla(k

do& and a tiny "'i'ua'ua sit patiently wit' t'eir owners.

VETERINARIAN

Anyt'in& unusual in t'e do&,s

diet1

MELVIN

No. E)erybody &ets t'eir own

(a&e1

VETERINARIAN

"ertainly.

MELVIN

3pointin& to

"'i'ua'ua4

6ut 'im in wit' t'at one$ not t'at

one...

3pointin& to lar&e

do&4

... Builds 'is (on*iden(e.

EXT. BUS STOP NEAR APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY

"arol disembarks.

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY

As s'e walks and turns a (orner.

CLOSE ON CAROL

T'e s'ot o* t'e prisoner takin& t'e walk toward t'e deat'

('amber. But t'e prisoner 'as &rit 'er knees do

not bu(kle. S'e does not w'imper. No prison 7s(rews7

will 'a)e to support 'er wei&'t. Still$ t'e prospe(t

(ouldn,t be &rimmer.

CAROL'S POV

Mel)in ne=t to a spi**y (on)ertible. Top down. Trunk open.

CLOSER ON MELVIN

;e is wearin& dri)in& &lo)es and turns to witness t'e

tussle !rank and Simon are 'a)in& -ust inside t'e

buildin&.

FRANK

+,m sorry t'at +,m not takin&

you.

SIMON3upset4

So am +$ !rank.

57


58/86

!rank starts to lea)e Simon stops 'im. T'ey embra(e.

MELVIN

Soak it up it,s your last

('an(e at a 'u& *or a *ew days.

As !rank mo)es o** Mel)in sees "arol and 'is demeanor('an&es... t'at ui(kly t'ere is a s'yness.

CAROL

;i.

MELVIN

T'anks *or bein& on time... "arol$

t'e waitress$ t'is is Simon$ t'e

*a&.

CAROL

;ello... O'$ my God$ w'o did t'at

to you1

SIMON

+$ u'... + was... atta(ked.

Walked in on people robbin& me. +

was 'ospitali>ed. + almost died.

MELVIN

Let,s do t'e small talk in t'e

(ar. Load up.

"arol puts 'er ba& in t'e (ar.

MELVIN

+ was &oin& to do t'at *or you.

CAROL3taken aba(k4

+t,s okay. No problem. W'ere

s'ould we sit1

MELVIN

3totally nonplussed4

+ u'$ +... Well$ t'ere is no

pla(e (ards or anyt'in&.

CAROL

3to Simon4

Let me &o in ba(k. 5ou look like

you need all t'e room you (an

mana&e.

SIMON

T'at,s )ery t'ou&'t*ul.

MELVIN

Ne)er a break. Ne)er.

"arol steps into t'e ba(k. Mel)in disappointed t'at 'e,s

not sittin& ne=t to "arol... "arol is wed&ed in t'e small

ba(k seat. S'e stru&&les to &et 'er *eet in.

MELVIN

5ou,re really -ammed ba(k t'ere.

;e rea('es *or t'e lat(' between 'is le&s and slides 'isseat and$ wit' some e**ort$ wren('es it *orward &i)in&

"arol more room and puttin& 'is ri&'t a&ainst t'e w'eel.

58


59/86

S'e is startled by t'e &esture.

CAROL

T'anks$ Mel)in.

MELVIN

Wel(ome.

And o** t'ey &o. Simon and "arol stunned by t'e manners.

EXT. "TH STREET

Turnin& onto !i*t'.

MELVIN

+ &ot t'e w'ole ride pro&rammed.

"AME%A !OLLOWS as Mel)in &oes to a ra(k o* "#s all

(are*ully labelled. ;e sele(ts and be&ins to play t'e

one marked 7+"EB%EA2E%.7 +t is a son& w'i(' we (learly

and ui(kly -ud&e as o** t'e (ir(umstan(es a ui(k

burst o* 75.M.".A.7 Mel)in STO6S t'e M


60/86

your partners or your kid

t'in&s will always be o** *or you

unless you set it strai&'t. Maybe

t'is t'in& 'appened to you -ust to

&i)e you t'at ('an(e.

MELVIN

Nonsense:

CAROL

Anybody 'ere w'o,s interested in

w'at Mel)in 'as to say raise t'eir

'ands.

Simon does not raise 'is 'and. Simon and "arol 'a)e t'us

de(lared t'eir ma-ority.

SIMON

#o you want to know w'at 'appened

wit' my parents1

CAROL

5es. + really would.

SIMON

Well...

CAROL

No$ let me pull o)er so + (an pay

*ull attention.

"ar pullin& o)er toward parkin& spot.

EXT. HIGHWAY - CURBSIDE - CONVERTIBLE - DAY

S'e takes t'e (ar (urbside and parks.

CAROL

Now &o a'ead.

Simon looks ba(k at Mel)in as does "arol. ;e looks

inno(ent. Se)eral beats Mel)in almost says somet'in&

a 'idden 'and &esture *rom "arol stops 'im. !inally.

SIMON

Well$ + always painted. Always.

And my mot'er always en(oura&ed

it. S'e was sort o* *abulous

about it a(tually... and s'e used

to... + was too youn& to t'ink

t'ere was anyt'in& at all wron&

wit' it... and s'e was )erynatural. S'e used to pose nude

*or me... and + t'ou&'t or assumed

my *at'er was aware o* it.

MELVIN

T'is stu** is pointless.

CAROL

;ey you let 'im...

MELVIN

5ou like sad stories you want

mine.

CARL

. Go a'ead$ Simon. %eally.

60


61/86

6lease. #on,t let 'im stop you. +&nore 'im.

SIMON

Okay. Well$ one day my *at'er

(ame in on one o* t'ose paintin&

sessions w'en + was nine and 'e

-ust started s(reamin& at 'er

at us at e)il. And...

MELVIN

3)ery ui(kly4

... my *at'er didn,t lea)e 'is

room *or years 'e 'it my

'and wit' a yardsti(k i* + made a

mistake on t'e piano.

CAROL

Go a'ead$ Simon. 5our *at'er

walked in on you and was yellin&

and... really$ (ome on.

SIMON

+ was tryin& to de*end my mot'er

and make pea(e$ in t'e lamest way.

+ said$ 7s'e,s not naked it,s

art.7 And t'en 'e started 'ittin&

me. And 'e beat me un(ons(ious.

A*ter t'at 'e talked to me less

and less 'e knew be*ore + le*t

*or (olle&e$ my dad (ame into my

room. ;e 'eld out 'is 'and. +t

was *illed wit' money. A bi& wad

o* sweaty money.

3&at'ers 'imsel*4

And 'e said to me$ 7+ don,t want

you to e)er (ome ba(k.7 + &rabbed

'im and + 'u&&ed 'im... ;e turnsand walked out.

"arol$ w'ose li*e 'as been ru&&ed but basi($ *eels as

stran&e as s'e does mo)ed by Simon,s trauma w'i(' is so

mu(' more (ompli(ated t'an 'er meat and potatoes

troubles. S'e looks out 'er window t'en kisses 'er

*in&ers and tou('es t'em to Simon,s ('eek. A ni(e$

understated$ &esture o* *riends'ip.

CAROL

Well$ you know + still stay

w'at + said. 5ou,)e &ot to &et

past it all w'en it (omes to your

parents. We all 'a)e t'ese 'orror

stories to &et o)er.

Mel)in s'i*ts +NTO t'e !%AME.

MELVIN

T'at,s not true. Some o* us 'a)e

&reat stories... pretty stories

t'at take pla(e at lakes wit'

boats and *riends and noodle

salad. Just not anybody in t'is

(ar. But lots o* people t'at,s

t'eir story &ood times and

noodle salad... and t'at,s w'at

makes it 'ard. Not t'at you 'ad

it bad but bein& t'at pissed t'atso many 'ad it &ood.

61


62/86

CAROL

No.

SIMON

Not it at all$ really.

MELVIN

3a )eteran,s irony4Not at all$ 'u'1:... Let,s &o to

t'e 'otel. And i* you,re lu(ky

tomorrow #ad will &i)e you anot'er

wad o* sweaty money.

INT. HOTEL SUITE - LIVING ROOMCARL'S ROOM - DAY

MELVIN

Two bedrooms and t'e so*a opens...

"arol is on t'e p'one in t'e li)in& room s'e 'an&s up.

CAROL

3to Simon4

No answer... Maybe we s'ould -ust

dri)e t'ere tomorrow. "an + 'a)e

t'at one1

MELVIN

5es... sure.

3to Simon4

+,ll take t'e so*a.

"arol walks into 'er room t'e ni(est room s'e,ll e)er

'a)e slept in... S'e &oes to t'e p'one and dials...

CAROL

3into p'one4

;ello... ;i$ Spen(er... W'y areyou out o* breat'1 5ou did1:1

T'at is &reat... So &reat... So

no$ wait a se(ond$ Spen(e...

INT. HOTEL SUITE - MELVIN AND SIMON'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Mel)in wat('es Simon stru&&le to unpa(k 'is espe(ially

neat suit(ase. Mel)in is un(om*ortable.

MELVIN

"an + ask you a personal uestion1

Simon lau&'s loudly in appre'ension suared.

MELVIN#o you e)er &et an ere(tion *or a

woman1

SIMON

Mel)in...

MELVIN

Wouldn,t your lie be a lot easier

i* you were not...

SIMON

5ou (onsider your li*e easy.

MELVIN+ &i)e you t'at one...

3eyes suit(ase4

62


63/86

Ni(e pa(kin&.

INT. HOTEL SUITE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

"arol enters t'e (ommon li)in& room... Mel)in is sittin&

t'ere. "arol is dealin& wit' a number o* unsettlin& new

*a(tors in 'er li*e.

CAROL

My son was outside playin& so((er.

+ ne)er saw 'im playin& ball. "ome

on$ you &uys take me out *or a

&ood time... Take me out dan(in&.

MELVIN

#an(in&1

SIMON

+ (an,t$ +,m e='austed.

"arol walks to Simon and puts an arm on 'im. Mel)in is

)isibly disturbed by 'er &esture.

CAROL

3to Simon4

+ don,t blame you... T'is is a

monumental *irst day out... 5ou

sad or anyt'in&1

SIMON

No... Ner)ous. +t would be )ery

rou&'$ "arol$ i* you weren,t

alon&.

CAROL

W'at a ni(e (ompliment.

S'e &i)es Simon a kiss... Mel)in deals wit' -ealousy.

S'e turns to 'im.

CAROL

+,m 'appy. And you,re my date.

Let,s &et dressed.

S'e e=its t'e room. Mel)in unner)ed.

MELVIN

+,m &oin& to -ump in t'e s'ower.

+,ll be ri&'t wit' you.

INT. HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

As "arol$ dressed in a t'ri*t s'op *ind$ enters t'e main

room o* t'e suite and 'ears t'e S;OWE% runnin& s'e

sits down to wait t'rou&'...

SERIES OF DISSOLVES

S'owin& t'e enormous len&t' o* time w'i(' transpires until

*inally a seriously (lean Mel)in emer&es *rom t'e bat'room

t'rou&' a (loud o* steam. T'ey e=it.

EXT. FIRST RATE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

As t'ey dri)e up.

VALET

Good e)enin&$ sir.

63


64/86

MELVIN

T'e

AS GOOD AS IT GETS.doc

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