Art of influence_ebb_fpdf

Ralph Blundell

‘The art of influencing”

Influence

InfluencePositive influence is the application of personal power to bring about change in others or make a difference to the

situation in a way that builds, or at least maintains, the long term relationship

Influence• A quick and easy way to estimate what approach

might work.

• Influence and energy - push or pull?

• The communication styles that work best, and work best for you.

• Practice.

Influence and energy

Influence and energyMy agenda

!!

PUSH!!!

Aggressive

Your agenda !!

PULL!!!

Passive

Which is your favourite energy?

Influence and energyEnergy Influence style Components

Push Persuading Proposing and reasoning

Push Asserting

Giving feedback Stating expectations Positive and negative

consequences

Pull Empathising Active listening, questions Being open

Pull Collaborating Finding common ground Sharing aspirations

Influence and energyGaining entry

(Inclusion)

Moving to action (Control)

Monitor and sustain trust

Influence and energyGaining entry

(Inclusion)

Moving to action (Control)

Monitor and sustain trust

push/pull

PUSH/pullPULL/push

Influence and WMD

Influence and WMD

• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness

• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence

• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space

Influence and WMD

• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness 7%

• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence 38%

• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space 55%

Influence and WMD

• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness 7%

• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence 38%

• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space 55%

To be effective the WMD must align.

Empathising

Empathising

• Active listening

• Asking questions

• Being open and disclosing

Understanding the other persons point of view has three elements

The object is to build trust in the relationship

Active Listening

• Pay full attention

• Reflect data and feelings

• Paraphrase

• Summarise

Active Listening

• Pay full attention

• Reflect data and feelings

• Paraphrase

• Summarise

Words Let me check I've

understood You look angry, happy

!Music and dance

Encouraging, warm sincere

good eye contact open body posture Match and mirror

Asking questions

• For full understanding

• Encourage more

• Data

• Feelings

Asking questions

• For full understanding

• Encourage more

• Data

• Feelings

Words Tell me more ...

How, when, where What do you feel about

!Music and dance



Being open

• Relevant and helpful

• Data and feelings

• Genuine

• Professional and personal

Being open

• Relevant and helpful

• Data and feelings

• Genuine

• Professional and personal

Words I had a similar experience ...

I have xx that you might find helpful

!Music and dance



Asserting

Asserting• Give feedback to reinforce positive and change

negative behaviour

• State expectations, be direct and clear about what you want from the other person

• Create positive and negative consequences, make sure they are deliverable and relevant, and that they are valuable to the other person

The Words

Asserting

• Firm, loud enough, forceful if the situation requires

• Clear articulation

• Steady pace

• Emphasise key words

The Music

Asserting• Strong eye contact

• Grounded - feet well planted

• Upright yet relaxed

• Waist high gestures, firm, chopping hands

• Match your degree of conviction

The Dance

Asserting-key points• Purpose is to be clear with others

• You have legitimate needs to achieve goals

• Work from gut feel not logic, do not use reasons to back up your assertion

• It is personal - you and I

• Set the context first, then ask for what you want

• Escalate strength through words, music and dance

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