Art of influence_ebb_fpdf

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Ralph Blundell ‘The art of influencing”

description

Attaining Justice often means influencing others to change what they do. But what if it's your boss, or don't want to listen? Positively influencing others is about using your personal power to engage others, make a difference, and sustain and even build the relationship you have.

Transcript of Art of influence_ebb_fpdf

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Ralph Blundell

‘The art of influencing”

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Influence

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InfluencePositive influence is the application of personal power to bring about change in others or make a difference to the

situation in a way that builds, or at least maintains, the long term relationship

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Influence• A quick and easy way to estimate what approach

might work.

• Influence and energy - push or pull?

• The communication styles that work best, and work best for you.

• Practice.

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Influence• A quick and easy way to estimate what approach

might work.

• Influence and energy - push or pull?

• The communication styles that work best, and work best for you.

• Practice.

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Influence• A quick and easy way to estimate what approach

might work.

• Influence and energy - push or pull?

• The communication styles that work best, and work best for you.

• Practice.

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Influence and energy

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Influence and energyMy agenda

!!

PUSH!!!

Aggressive

Your agenda !!

PULL!!!

Passive

Which is your favourite energy?

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Influence and energyMy agenda

!!

PUSH!!!

Aggressive

Your agenda !!

PULL!!!

Passive

Which is your favourite energy?

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Influence and energyMy agenda

!!

PUSH!!!

Aggressive

Your agenda !!

PULL!!!

Passive

Which is your favourite energy?

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Influence and energy

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Influence and energyEnergy Influence style Components

Push Persuading Proposing and reasoning

Push Asserting

Giving feedback Stating expectations Positive and negative

consequences

Pull Empathising Active listening, questions Being open

Pull Collaborating Finding common ground Sharing aspirations

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Influence and energy

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Influence and energyGaining entry

(Inclusion)

Moving to action (Control)

Monitor and sustain trust

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Influence and energyGaining entry

(Inclusion)

Moving to action (Control)

Monitor and sustain trust

push/pull

PUSH/pullPULL/push

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Influence and energy

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Influence and WMD

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Influence and WMD

• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness

• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence

• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space

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Influence and WMD

• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness 7%

• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence 38%

• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space 55%

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Influence and WMD

• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness 7%

• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence 38%

• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space 55%

To be effective the WMD must align.

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Empathising

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Empathising

• Active listening

• Asking questions

• Being open and disclosing

Understanding the other persons point of view has three elements

The object is to build trust in the relationship

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Empathising

• Active listening

• Asking questions

• Being open and disclosing

Understanding the other persons point of view has three elements

The object is to build trust in the relationship

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Active Listening

• Pay full attention

• Reflect data and feelings

• Paraphrase

• Summarise

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Active Listening

• Pay full attention

• Reflect data and feelings

• Paraphrase

• Summarise

Words Let me check I've

understood You look angry, happy

!Music and dance

Encouraging, warm sincere

good eye contact open body posture Match and mirror

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Asking questions

• For full understanding

• Encourage more

• Data

• Feelings

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Asking questions

• For full understanding

• Encourage more

• Data

• Feelings

Words Tell me more ...

How, when, where What do you feel about

!Music and dance

Encouraging, warm sincere

good eye contact open body posture Match and mirror

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Being open

• Relevant and helpful

• Data and feelings

• Genuine

• Professional and personal

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Being open

• Relevant and helpful

• Data and feelings

• Genuine

• Professional and personal

Words I had a similar experience ...

I have xx that you might find helpful

!Music and dance

Encouraging, warm sincere

good eye contact open body posture Match and mirror

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Asserting

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Asserting• Give feedback to reinforce positive and change

negative behaviour

• State expectations, be direct and clear about what you want from the other person

• Create positive and negative consequences, make sure they are deliverable and relevant, and that they are valuable to the other person

The Words

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Asserting

• Firm, loud enough, forceful if the situation requires

• Clear articulation

• Steady pace

• Emphasise key words

The Music

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Asserting• Strong eye contact

• Grounded - feet well planted

• Upright yet relaxed

• Waist high gestures, firm, chopping hands

• Match your degree of conviction

The Dance

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Asserting-key points• Purpose is to be clear with others

• You have legitimate needs to achieve goals

• Work from gut feel not logic, do not use reasons to back up your assertion

• It is personal - you and I

• Set the context first, then ask for what you want

• Escalate strength through words, music and dance

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