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Ralph Blundell
‘The art of influencing”
Influence
InfluencePositive influence is the application of personal power to bring about change in others or make a difference to the
situation in a way that builds, or at least maintains, the long term relationship
Influence• A quick and easy way to estimate what approach
might work.
• Influence and energy - push or pull?
• The communication styles that work best, and work best for you.
• Practice.
Influence• A quick and easy way to estimate what approach
might work.
• Influence and energy - push or pull?
• The communication styles that work best, and work best for you.
• Practice.
Influence• A quick and easy way to estimate what approach
might work.
• Influence and energy - push or pull?
• The communication styles that work best, and work best for you.
• Practice.
Influence and energy
Influence and energyMy agenda
!!
PUSH!!!
Aggressive
Your agenda !!
PULL!!!
Passive
Which is your favourite energy?
Influence and energyMy agenda
!!
PUSH!!!
Aggressive
Your agenda !!
PULL!!!
Passive
Which is your favourite energy?
Influence and energyMy agenda
!!
PUSH!!!
Aggressive
Your agenda !!
PULL!!!
Passive
Which is your favourite energy?
Influence and energy
Influence and energyEnergy Influence style Components
Push Persuading Proposing and reasoning
Push Asserting
Giving feedback Stating expectations Positive and negative
consequences
Pull Empathising Active listening, questions Being open
Pull Collaborating Finding common ground Sharing aspirations
Influence and energy
Influence and energyGaining entry
(Inclusion)
Moving to action (Control)
Monitor and sustain trust
Influence and energyGaining entry
(Inclusion)
Moving to action (Control)
Monitor and sustain trust
push/pull
PUSH/pullPULL/push
Influence and energy
Influence and WMD
Influence and WMD
• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness
• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence
• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space
Influence and WMD
• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness 7%
• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence 38%
• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space 55%
Influence and WMD
• Words~Choice, jargon, clarity, directness 7%
• Music~Pace, pitch, rhythm, emphasis, silence 38%
• Dance~Stance and posture, non verbal, eye contact, movement and use of space 55%
To be effective the WMD must align.
Empathising
Empathising
• Active listening
• Asking questions
• Being open and disclosing
Understanding the other persons point of view has three elements
The object is to build trust in the relationship
Empathising
• Active listening
• Asking questions
• Being open and disclosing
Understanding the other persons point of view has three elements
The object is to build trust in the relationship
Active Listening
• Pay full attention
• Reflect data and feelings
• Paraphrase
• Summarise
Active Listening
• Pay full attention
• Reflect data and feelings
• Paraphrase
• Summarise
Words Let me check I've
understood You look angry, happy
!Music and dance
Encouraging, warm sincere
good eye contact open body posture Match and mirror
Asking questions
• For full understanding
• Encourage more
• Data
• Feelings
Asking questions
• For full understanding
• Encourage more
• Data
• Feelings
Words Tell me more ...
How, when, where What do you feel about
!Music and dance
Encouraging, warm sincere
good eye contact open body posture Match and mirror
Being open
• Relevant and helpful
• Data and feelings
• Genuine
• Professional and personal
Being open
• Relevant and helpful
• Data and feelings
• Genuine
• Professional and personal
Words I had a similar experience ...
I have xx that you might find helpful
!Music and dance
Encouraging, warm sincere
good eye contact open body posture Match and mirror
Asserting
Asserting• Give feedback to reinforce positive and change
negative behaviour
• State expectations, be direct and clear about what you want from the other person
• Create positive and negative consequences, make sure they are deliverable and relevant, and that they are valuable to the other person
The Words
Asserting
• Firm, loud enough, forceful if the situation requires
• Clear articulation
• Steady pace
• Emphasise key words
The Music
Asserting• Strong eye contact
• Grounded - feet well planted
• Upright yet relaxed
• Waist high gestures, firm, chopping hands
• Match your degree of conviction
The Dance
Asserting-key points• Purpose is to be clear with others
• You have legitimate needs to achieve goals
• Work from gut feel not logic, do not use reasons to back up your assertion
• It is personal - you and I
• Set the context first, then ask for what you want
• Escalate strength through words, music and dance
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