Are you designing your professional relationships?

Are you designing your professional relationships?

Presented by Alla Zollers

UX Consultant & [email protected]

@azollers

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Rule #1: No One Gets To Be Wrong


Rule #2: What’s said in the room stays in the room

(Kind of like Vegas)


ProcessTools

Techniques


ProcessTools

TechniquesRelationships


We under invest inrelationship infrastructures


What happens when relationships break down?


Explicitly Design Your Professional Relationships


The Steps

1. Get out of your own wayIdentify and manage your inner critics

2. Know your values Discover what is important to you

3. Invite co-designExplicitly design your relationship

4. IterateContinue to redesign the relationship on a continuous and ongoing basis


All us have self-sabotaging inner voices that hold us back. Their job is to preserve the status quo.

The Saboteurs have all the reasons ready why this plan (whatever you are trying to do) is stupid, dangerous, hopeless, or generally an ill-advised course of action.

Identify Your SaboteursWe all have them.


The #1 Saboteur

Presenting ... The Judge

The judge sabotages us by having us feel anxiety, disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, and shame by finding faults with 1) ourselves; 2) others, and 3) our circumstances.

Thoughts:What is wrong with me?What is wrong with you?What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome?


Perfectionist- If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all - I hate mistakes

Scarcity- There is not enough _______- More is better- This is just the way it is

Pleaser- I can’t disappoint other people- To be a good person I should put the needs of others ahead of my own

Hyper-Achiever- I must be the best at what I do- I must be efficient and effective

Hyper-Vigilant- When is the other shoe going to drop?- If I make a mistake, I fear everyone is going to jump down my throat

Controller- No one tells me what to do- If I work hard enough I can control the situation so it goes my way

A Few Good Accomplices ...


5 Minute Saboteur Assessmentpositiveintelligence.com/assessments

Resource


5 Ways to Manage Your Saboteurs

1. Personify the Saboteur

2. Acknowledge the Saboteur

3. Give the Saboteur a job to do or a place to go

4. Ask the Saboteur to get out of the way

5. Physically represent the Saboteur and put them away


Know Your Values


Think of a special peak moment when your life was especially rewarding or poignant. Look for values that were being honored.

Discover Your Values

Think of a times when you were angry, frustrated or upset. Look for values that were being suppressed.

Reflect back in your life to someone you have greatly admired and describe their qualities. Listen for values.


Now that you know your values ...

• Designing your relationships

• Job Interviews

• Vetting clients

• Managing Up

• Feeling fulfilled in your work and life

you can use that knowledge for...


Demo


Script ...

Can we go out to lunch together this week? I would like to discuss how to work together ...

I recently learned a few things that are important to me ... what is important to you?

When we work together, I would like it to feel ______ ... how would you like it to feel?

How do you want to behave together when things get difficult?

What would really help our relationship flourish?

You can count on me for ______ ... what can I count on from you?


Thank You!

I am available for ...

UX ConsultingTeam Coaching

Individual Coaching

[email protected]@azollers


Are you designing your professional relationships?

Design

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