1$qREPORT

Box 22LI3 nOFTEN frv ERROR - NEVER IN DOUBT' Sunset SF" CA 94L22

Apr

RIGIIT OF THE I,IVING DEAD8 CON\'ERTING POP STARS TO POSTAGE SITAI,IPS

Pity the fool who tries to be a celebrity in this world! You may start outas a three-dimensional creature but youtll soon be reduced to atwo-dimensional caricature capable of being reproduced, Iicensed and stanpedon the rear end of the modern world.Some may argue that this process of social reduction is a reminder that weare descending the last few steps of the fire escape of modern culture, i.e.the Big Demographic Breakdown. But thatrs an unnecessarily depressing viewof the human condition. Everything is turning into tiny marketable unitsbecause that form of graphic representation gets better legal protection.This change from three-dirnensional to two-dirnensional life took place over afew decades and involved the cross-pollination of two trends, the failure toprotect celebrity styJ.e and the incredible sales power of licensed goods.What? You say celebrlty style J.s protected..Tell i t to Nancy Sinatra.Twenty years agor her version of rrThese Boots Are Uade For Wa1kinrtr hitNumero Uno and kicked off American Mod Womanhood. Four years later, afedera l judge went arness inr where he shouldnr t arbe ss inr and sa id

Continued on page 4

FF,OM th6 Ed.itorIias it already been a year Eince tft" fi"t a&nReport Survey? How time flies when yourre havinga.good tirne! And talking about having a goodtirner w€ must be doing iornething rigf,t. rn thepast L2 months, not one reader has Cancelled a

DON|T CALL IT SELLING OUTt CALL IT REACHfNG OUT - Pat Benatarrs gutlessrevision of her rrT,e Bel Aget' video has had an odd tidal wave eff6ct on theuse of comedians in rock videos - other comics being axed, Grace Slici,Samny Hagar, and Sting.wHATrs oUR BEEF? If the feds arentt sitting on computer tech development,then why did the IRS pick the zenit} ' z-L7L over thl erid? tsee isn raBuy-Fi: rrwhy canrt a conputer retl l ike a gqn?r. Ti l next ishr - Ed.

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GARBAGE PAII, KIDS

tired of that cabbage Patchcloth-mother merchandise?

Herers a product thatportrays the adult world as amacabre cl iche - a Place in

which deformed Puff-facedcreatures disPlaY their

interactive sex softwarel

rr l , iving Deadrt (continued from page l)

Nancy racked a distinctive styre - that if eoodyear Tire and Rubber want,edto selI t ires using a soundal-ike girl in lookafif" clothes doing rBootsn_t_hat was okay with uncre sam. rarr about ri""i"g-trr" boat?wfen P-"1" Lugosirs kin went in front of califorrriais gig Bench, to try andstop the commer-cial exploitation of his iruggr-""iy-,rusi,ice nose nglgr Birdgot a.9-rip on the problem. Rambrinr Rose p5i"t.d-i,"L therers nocopyright-type law to protect a performer_t3 p"r"orr"i ity so therers no way tostop exploitation - a lesson col-onel Tom leained while-trying to stop Elvisirnitators/merchandisers from unricensed expr-it"t i""-of the iecentlyr iga-mort i f ied $i lg. (see rsh L4rrPutt inr on t t re sCirrsr i rackie o and theCelebrity lJoolialike Syndronen)And while living./dead celebs were faced with problems of comrnercialexproitation, fictionar characters like Tarza-n, t'ticiey Mouse and snoopy wereable to stop imitators dead in their tracks. (ig. isn-z rfrhe cartooning ofAneriaatt ) with a potential internationar copyrig:ri .orr.r.rrtion in the wings- and with trademark protection availabte- for unique and broad stylisticrepresentations, itrs no wonder that celebs are at-l becoming cabbage patch9.orl" ' Everytning. is being reduced to an identii i ir i" gt.fri i--fresentationthat can be exploitea_- pi-tures, signatures, simpie and obvious markspressed on to merchandise. r t isnrt- l ike anybody-has a choice. . . i f yoqd_ortt exploit your own icon, sometbody erse wirr.why is this happening? rtfs a measuri or our insatiabre merchandising sugartooth. Global rnultiglom merchandisers know that we are defectiveorganisms - vte canrt control our possessive t""a"""i"a. we no longeremurate our pop heroes: we own tein. The resurt is a reductive tiiteringwhich removes alr of the subtle.shadini we used to call personar style -1:1:i:g^behind-a s.irnplified residue of-vi""ii-or-i"Jio mass-producediconography. rhe boltom line for celebs is thair

- i i-you canrt identify itimrnediat-ely; and if you canrt reproauce aTd registEi ii-i"-i"cogilzaureunits; then one of these days, tlose rnuriitr-;-;;G are gonna wark atr overyou.

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REPORTP.O. Box 22L13 'OFTEN f/V SRROR - NEVER IN DOUBT' Swrset S.F. CA 94122

NEIDER8ETP 8URVEY 1986

Iteaders r u€ love ya !You did it for us laEt year, you can do it agaln.

lalkin rbout that annual Sprlng A&R Readership sulivey - thatinguisitive llttle request for the inf,ormatlon that can make or breakour demographlc profile.Werre not loolslng f,or the tnrth..Just sonethl.ng closer Eo dontt beafraid to nrourtd lt of,f to ttre nearegt dol.Iartr to gruarantee ourcomercial stabtllty. And anlmay, Just because you Uuy on the low-endof the coneumer spectrum doeEnrt mean you lack consumer consciousnesetor a wil l ingnesE to spend.

DEFIlt!TTONg

rloutr meanE tho physlcal bcing Loolrlng at these wordE.

nonnr meane posseEs and control. ft does not lnputa tltleor legal ownershlp and can include any fom of control basdupon a credit trangactLon.

QUrsTIOtrS

Is it too late?

why?

3. t{here doea lt hurt tha nost?

itens do you own?4. Ew nany remote control

What ltcnr in your houge would you put ln tlrc 186 tlnocapsule?

1 .

t .

2 ,

5 .

2 .

3 ,

5 . I-I-a8 any part of your body becn the aubJect of a vidrotharmogran?

I{hose sales f,J.gures baff,te you the nost,?

t{hen was the last tlno you wrote a reEume?

lfhat non-food ltens do you kecp in your refrlgerator?

7 .

8 .

9 .

r0. llhlch do.you-own uore of - aroma diskst conpact dlekci orfloppy dlskc?

II. Do you own any windhan HtIl records?

12. What pop star looks 1lke you?

13. Do you think l{ark Goodnan should get a hal"rcut?

14. How low can you go?

15. l{htch of these A&R products would you spond moncy on?

l. ilEW PRIVICY- The orlginal 50 page treatlse on techno-uanrsredef,lnltlon of traditlonal c6niepts of, prtvacy. Bound lnattractl've soft cardboard cover wittr youi chotie of footnotestrlthin/or at end of text.

2. AtR T-8HIR|!8Caref,ully crafted 100t cotton whlte on black t-ahlrts bearlngthe A&R logo and reEtetered trademark rtoften Ln Error - Neverln Doubtc

3. lfgERE Do r PLuc rN? - The conaumnate gulde to rove and othert'echnoloqlcal problcne. Answere to-readers querlcs re afsfdri,vee, 6-epoti, as wErl ic-irr"-riir"g of indboi-ana outdoorcable.

4. nEEil To Buy coI{SttuEB ErrEcrRoltrc8 - wish you had waited afew nonthe to buy that VcR 9r laptop? trrt 40 paEe buylnggnrtde oflers a geries of hclptul- tlps to guarairtie tfrit fousave uaxinua dollare to achlevr curlent t6chnology. (ganiedby the Par Eastern consumetr Elcctronrcs Trade coriicli).

NA!!EnaiL to: A&R Surwy

P. 0 . Bor( 221L3Surraet Scation8F CA 94t22