During 1993/1994 I experienced some in-depth personal grief. My most peaceful times occurred when I could be in the garden. There I could silently cry without having to give an explanation. The earth happily absorbed my tears and the plants listened. Then one day the roses responded to my pleas for help.

I was kneeling down weeding between the rose bushes when words came into my head. “You have grieved for one whole year. Now it is time for you to let go and move forward”.

It seemed an obvious statement yet it solicited my immediate question about how to do that. Once again the words were in my head but this time they seemed to come via the rose bush just above me. “Pick me because I can help you”.

The urge was very strong to just walk away. I was a little concerned about hearing voices as part of escaping reality. In my mind I replied that I would get the secateurs. Maybe I could break this spell by walking away. “NO”, I heard, “just pick by hand and you will know the ones you need”.

The silent dialogue continued. It guided me towards the next rose bush where once again I collected those that seemed to give me a little nod. As I picked those very dark red roses, my tears came back. The name of the bush was still there: “Bull’s Red”. Eventually the essence from that rose wanted to be number 1 and known as Transition.

Heidi CrambFOUNDER OF THE AOTEA ROSE ESSENCES

THE HISTORY OF THE AOTEA ROSE ESSENCES

n.

tran

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1. transition a scented deep red rose(bereavement, grief, broken heart)

I am ready to let go of the pain in my heart. I want to acknowledge to myself that it has felt as if my heart was broken or pierced and bleeding. I acknowledge that at times it has been a very physical pain and at other times it has felt like an unbearable weight in my chest.

I have noticed myself sighing hoping that would ease it. I told myself that I had to let it go. I do admit that deep in my sorrow I found the pain to be a companion and a comfort. I can keep the memories near me, even if they are so very painful.

I know I am afraid of letting it all go because then I will have nothing! Please help me to let go, and then help me to fill the empty space, where my grief now lives, with love.

trust

8. trust a warm salmon coloured bud fading to a cool pink rose (trusting yourself)

When I hear you making a promise I know that you are sincere. I want to believe that you can and will keep that promise but I find that so difficult. I make the excuse to myself that I have been let down before and I become suspicious. Then I see the pain in your eyes and the opportunity for appreciation of your sincerity has gone.

Maybe you are not able to keep your promise.

I guess I already “suspect” this. I am trying to harden myself against any pain I might feel and I tell you that I do not trust you. Now I wonder if I actually trust myself and the difficulty I experience handling promises reflects this!

If I learn to fully trust myself I will be able to accept promises without being suspicious and afraid of being let down. Then I will be able to feel secure when I make a promise.

compassion

16. compassiona near black scented rose(with passion - to be gentle)

Often I berate myself using harsh words about my behaviour and I get very angry about certain thoughts that creep into my head. A part of me tells me that I am right to judge myself so harshly and that I deserve to be told off for being so stupid.

At times I think that I also feel this about other people but it would not be right for me to express this nor do I have the right to do that.

I try to identify those emotions by imagining that Ihold them in my hands, but the sensations are quite unpleasant - cold, hard and almost painful. Those hands can then not help me, neither by giving or receiving, nor can they help others.

I now hold up my hands to receive compassion and I experience the warm feelings of being able to be gentle with myself and with others.

abun

danc

e

25. abundancevariegated red-white rose (feeling blessed)

When I really stop to think about it I know I have all I need and I do feel grateful. My needs are met in many different ways at all levels and often in mysterious ways. Then why is it that I experience this feeling of having to be so very careful.

Am I relating to past messages that told me there was only just so much to go around and that I had to guard my portion carefully? Or maybe I feel I am not entitled to it and I have not yet earned my share!

Listening to my higher self helps me to accept that there is an abundance of all I really need for me to be me - knowledge, wisdom, and above all there is love. I do not need just a portion of it because it is all around me. I am entitled to it all because I am part of it.

peace

36. peace a perfumed white rose(touching the love in your heart)

You continue to search for answers. You ask for clarification and guidance. You question why certain things have happened in your life. It feels as if you will never have the Peace you so desperately want.

There always are issues to consider - for instance, the unfairness of life and especially the unfairness of things in your life. So many people have done things that have hurt you to the core of your being. It can be so difficult to just let that go.

You may never find the answers that will totally satisfy you. The peace you seek does not come from knowing why things happened. Total peace will be yours when you touch the space inside you where love lives.