“Weight Loss During Menopause: Success is Easier Than You ...€¦ · In this guide, you will:...

“Weight Loss During Menopause: Success is Easier Than You Think!” By Julie Dargan RN, ND, BHSc

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Are you, like many people, feeling trapped inside a body that you are unable to break out of? I knew I was one of these people and let me assure you once I released myself from the trap I was in, I never want to go back to that place again. Many people go from one diet to another, while some may starve themselves. Many go on a yoyo diet and some even resort to purging themselves after meals. And still they seem to pile on the weight. This blog post is going to be a little longer than my previous ones. This epic guide is your one stop shop to get yourself on track with your raging hormones and stop the middle age spread that has crept upon your waistline.

I know what you are going through. I understand that you are finding life difficult at the moment and in need of someone to show you a way out. I will be sharing with you actionable steps in your diet and lifestyle to allow you to take action and chip away at the fat that has accumulated. Not only let the fat melt away, but how to keep it off.

In this guide, you will: 1. Find out how to get your mojo back and start enjoying life once more. 2. Discover tasty treats so delicious they will astound you. 3. Find out what foods are your enemy. 4. What to do with “friends” that may be sabotaging your success. 5. I will sharing with you my 7day eating plan to get you on track. 6. I will answer the most popular questions that my clients ask 7. My secret tips that I have never shared before.

Imagine buying an outfit “off the rack”, walking into a room when everyone looks at you with envy (instead of being ignored as usual), or perhaps having the energy to do what you have always wanted to do. Bursting with confidence and self esteem at an all time high.

It’s all possible, and I’ll show you exactly how you can do it. Are you ready?

Written by: Julie Dargan RN, ND, BHSc…….www.menopausewhisperer.com


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This guide will take you a while to read and to implement my suggestions. Be sure to read it from the beginning to the end rather than simply skimming to the 7day program. There is more to losing weight than a simple change in your diet. Understanding what is happening in your body in this stage of life is important as well as the psychology of weight issues. My Story Growing up I was active and generally ate what I wanted without a second thought. I was not skinny but not fat. Being active helped me to stay slim and I ate fairly healthily. Processed and ready to make meals were not around when I was growing up. Perhaps they were but growing up in a family of 9 had my mother cooking meals every evening. Takeaways were a treat and that was only fish ‘n chips on a Friday. As the years rolled by, children came along, work got more intense and processed foods were introduced into my life. I exercised less (come to think of it, it was nonexistent) but I still managed to keep some form of semblance in my body frame. Then came Perimenopause. At the age of 40 I noticed the weight creeping on. I always thought that in my 40’s I would be more relaxed than I was. I would be settled in my work, marriage would be strong and life would be good. Two out of three ain’t bad. Marriage was great, but work and life just got stressful. I was piling on the weight. What was going on? I am going to share with you a photo from this time period to show that I was not a pretty bunny.



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I Poured into my dress.. Nothing fitted in the cupboard; I poured myself into this dress. No amount of spanx pulled those rolls in. My hair was like straw, I was moody, tired and irritable. I am never proud of this photo. But I am so glad that it was taken without a coat on. I needed to see the rolls. This was the defining moment for me that I had let myself go. After seeing this photo I knew I had to do something about my expanding waistline. Before I saw the photo above I was truly in denial of how overweight I was. I needed this to spring me into action. Imagine my surprise when I stepped onto the scales for the first time in years to find that I was officially obese. (Using the BMI measurements of height to

weight). The biggest worry for me was that I was a Nurse and Naturopath and running my own health shop. Wearing an apron was hiding the rolls but the tiredness and irritability must have permeated onto the shop floor. I had, or so I thought, the best diet ever. I was eating wholemeal grains, organic, wholesome foods but why was I putting on weight. I had to start looking differently at my diet and starting doing my research. SOME SERIOUS POSITIVE SELF TALK Here are some tips that may be helpful in your quest to reprogram your thoughts to assist you with your selfesteem, selfacceptance and joy in your body? POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS Sending positive affirmations to your subconscious is a great way to get you thinking and behaving in a healthier way towards yourself. This reminds me of a time I had to do a talk.



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I had quite a few stressful days leading up to the talk and was fixing up my make up before going on stage and had one look at myself and all I could see was my drawn eyes and without thinking said to myself in the mirror, “You look terrible!” and walked away. I immediately walked back to the mirror and said “You look beautiful.” And meant it! The look of transformation was amazing there and then in front of the mirror was amazing. I then went out and gave one of the best talks ever, I even amazed myself at how much energy I had. If I had not gone back to correct myself, I know for a fact that I would have felt drained and it would have been obvious to anyone watching me that day. You have to believe in yourself for who you are. Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone you meet either. It is of utmost importance that you are true to yourself and you will attract like minded people. This reminds me of a time in my past when I associated with “friends” (I think we all have these “friends”) who I never felt comfortable with due to the fact that I never felt accepted for being me. I was very much aware of the fact that I was the one always making the effort and going to their place and rarely, if ever, did they venture to my home. I know this story is going to resonate with many people as I hear this topic come up in conversations a lot. Deep down I knew that if I stopped doing the visits then all contact would be lost and I so wanted these people to be my friends. I never really felt a part of their group and would do anything to keep the friendships going. Well, one day I made a really big decision, and I finally stopped visiting. I was correct in my assumption that they never picked up the phone or ventured out to me. They simply got on with their lives without me. I thought this would have upset me. Instead I felt a massive weight lifted from my chest. I was so busy trying to do everything to get them to like me and want to invest time with me that I lost sight of the fact that I would never really fit into their circle and would



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always be an outsider and was treated as someone who should be grateful that they even let me come to their functions. Boy did I waste a lot of time and effort. Making the decision to move on was one of the best decisions I could have ever made. I now invest my time wisely with friends I enjoy, and with people who genuinely seem to like me for ME, yippee. Once I freed myself from the friendships that were not nourishing for my soul, I started to love myself more which lead to the belief in myself that I could make changes in my life and be the person that I am today.

You need to accept your body shape. We are constantly being bombarded with what the ideal shape is through various media channels and we all know that being stick thin is not as attainable and desirable as we are led to believe. I see many clients who are very thin but with a host of problems, both medical and not believing in their own self image. I will repeat myself here, being healthier does not necessarily mean being skinnier. You need to let go of relationships that are dragging you down, leave you feeling insecure or unworthy. You need to accept yourself, flaws and all. This does not mean you can be a bitch and say everyone has to accept you the way you are either. My motto is to treat others as you would like to be treated. Simple but true. Lastly, surrender! Life is good if you are willing to give it a go.



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After much research with my clients as well as my own soul searching I came up with the following:

1. Weight loss starts in the mind, way before the kitchen. 2. Foods that I was able to tolerate when I was younger were no longer my friends. 3. Just because something is organic and wholesome does not mean it is kind to

the waistline. 4. I needed to do a complete overhaul on my diet. I knew it was more than a simple

statement of “eating more greens” or “calories in vs calories out”. 5. The stress had to go but just knowing was making me more stressful. 6. Acknowledgement of my increase in weight was important.

If I was going to lose weight I had the following points that I needed to be addressed:

I wanted to lose weight but I did not want to be a misery guts.

I did not want to be tired and grumpy while everyone around me was eating what they liked.

I did not want to be eating foods that I hated while drooling over the meals my

family was eating.

I did not want to be hungry. I was not asking for much hey! I am going to show you what I did to lose weight and how you can achieve the same success. I will also share with you the pitfalls that caused me to gain weight in the first place. By knowing the pitfalls allowed me NOT to regain the weight once I had lost it. I will give you guidance on the biggest obstacle many women seem to have; how to keep the weight off once you have lost the weight. I lost in total 25kg (55lbs). That was 5 years ago and I have kept the weight off without feeling deprived, hungry or grumpy! Working with clients in my Health food shop many people were intrigued with my weight loss. What did I do. My family accused me of having liposuction.



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I decided to write a book detailing how I lost weight and showed many women what they needed to do to lose weight. Knowing how easy it is to gain weight in the first place, allowed me to understand the confusion many women face when trying to beat the battle of the bulge. I was able to understand the problems of my clients and assist them in making the correct food choices. I had the book released, titled The Slim Factor and then worked with many women in their weight loss success. As I worked with more and more women, I realised that I was able to maintain a relationship with them and to understand their battles in order to steer them onto the right path. I am still close friends with many of the women (and the odd male) who I have worked with. When you are responsible for assisting a woman lose up to 50kg over a period of 12 months you become very close.

Working with these women I discovered what practices work and what are the common obstacles women put up to self sabotage their efforts. Many of my clients failed in the initial stages.. Once my clients realised how they were sabotaging their success in losing weight and embraced my suggestions, the weight loss was in full throttle. I am now going to share with you why they failed so you will not fall into the same traps.

Mistake #1 The Lure of the Wrong Foods Many people live with the illusion that they enjoy the “crap” food they are eating. THE LURE OF CRAP FOOD What am I referring to when I refer to CRAP food I hear you asking? CRAP FOOD Chocolate, Rubbish food, Alcohol, Processed food



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For the purposes of writing this post I was looking for a term to call the food that really does need to be avoided if we are to gain a healthy lifestyle. The only possible word I could come up with was a basic word but felt it might be too harsh of a word, but I am going to stay with it as sometimes we need harsh works to spring us into action. From this point forward when I refer to CRAP food I am referring to the food we need to avoid in our diet and usually ends up being the one thing most people find hard to remove from their diets. CRAP food is not a habit or pleasure but is an addiction and one that you have to break away from. Many people live with the illusion that they enjoy the CRAP food they are eating. Many people live with the illusion that they enjoy the CRAP food they are eating but the crash afterwards always makes them despondent. So while you may enjoy the endorphin rush (just take a good look at a child who has drunk their first cola drink) this is short lived, thus leaving you wanting another rush. This thought needs more expansion for you to truly grasp what is going on. Most people are trying to get to that place of peace and contentment that eludes us. Food is often used as an emotional crutch. Whatever it is you are yearning for, the answer is not in CRAP food. Take the example of coffee. When you have your coffee fix in the morning, for a brief moment you have your escape. You mind was no longer a fog. You found that place of peace and contentment. No matter how many more coffees you have in a day, you are still yearning for that piece of contentment you find with your first morning coffee. If I was to say to you now that you could no longer have coffee, or any CRAP food, forever, you would absolutely refuse. And I do not blame you. One thought springs to mind straight away I am sure is that you now perceive a life of misery ahead of you. You need the coffee to get to you to that place of contentment. OR DO YOU?? Here is an analogy for you to ponder:



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For anyone who has had a child the nights can sometimes be agony for a parent when the child will not stop crying no matter what you do (or imagine there is a party next door and the music is blaring out for over an hour and it is well past 2am). Imagine the crying has been going on for a full hour and then, suddenly, the child stops crying (or the noise stops) and falls asleep. Alleluia; a feeling of peace and calmness comes over you. This feeling we have is not really peace, but the end of the aggravation. How does this relate to the endorphin rush you ask? When people eat processed, chemically laden food, or high sugar foods or your favourite brew of coffee, they experience a rush similar to the euphoria you would have felt once the baby stopped crying. When you eat a lot of processed, chemically laden, sugar laden foods, you will crave them more and more. Think about your food choices when you are out for lunch or in your own home. For many people they choose a chocolate or cheese and cracker over a carrot stick any day for morning tea. They are constantly looking for that feel good feeling that they experience when the baby, or noise, stopped. I am sure most people will agree with me if they are honest, they do not want to live on the edge of the everconstant need for CRAP food. No one wants the baby screaming or loud noise in their life that they need relief from. This is important for you to understand because once you understand this, then you will understand how you subconscious is sabotaging you in your decision making of what you will eat. Just think about this for a moment. You may perceive yourself as the lucky one if you are able to indulge in CRAP food. You may have been in a rut all day, the afternoon slumps are hitting and you want your chocolate fix (or stodgy bun or whatever is tempting you at this time). You bite into the offending food and you get that feeling of peace, the end of the aggravation, you have picked up that baby and peace is restored.



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Move on two more hours and you are yearning for another fix, another piece of chocolate, a donut anything to bring back the calm. For many of you, you may not escape the clutches of CRAP food due to the the fact that when you first stop eating CRAP food the withdrawals can be very strong. Most of us will agree that anyone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol will go through a tough withdrawal period, but never fully realise that giving up CRAP food comes with its own very powerful withdrawal challenges. For most people unhealthy and overweight go hand in hand. For me when I was my heaviest I thought I was eating healthy. I was eating brown pasta, brown bread, homemade pizza, I thought I was eating healthy. The proof that something was wrong was that if it was so healthy then why did I feel so lousy and why was I putting on so much weight? So believe me when I refer to most people’s diet as CRAP food, I am not having a go at anyone but for me feels it is the best terminology. Do not despair and fear that you will have to give up the CRAP food for the rest of your life. Their may be aches and pains associated with withdrawing from CRAP food. Do not let yourself become a victim here. The aches and pains due to withdrawal will only last a couple of days. If you never address the issue of giving up CRAP food and maintain the unhealthy lifestyle you are leading, you will have a life long issue of aches and pains. That baby will never stop crying. You know when I put it down on paper like this I cannot help thinking what is all the fuss about?? Fear of giving up CRAP, this should be easy???? Once that baby stops crying once and for all, life just gets better and better.

Mistake #2 – Mentality of “giving something up” You are not GIVING UP anything, but you are ESCAPING from the clutches of the wrong foods.



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This is one notion that you have to get out of your head.. Giving up implies a genuine sacrifice and that plays havoc on your mind. When you were on one of your “diets”, you may have feel deprived for not eating a dessert, or as bowl of hot chips, or a pizza when out dining with friends. I am going to tell you now and many more times before this post is finished “Get rid of the brainwashing”. It is not YOU who is being deprived but the poor person who is not able to see what they are doing to their bodies is the most deprived person. Most of us have been there, we know we should be eating the healthy choice but get caught up in the moment and make decisions that we know where not the correct ones in choosing a meal. It is these type of eaters who are forfeiting a lifetime of healthy, energy, peace of mind, confidence, courage, selfrespect, happiness and FREEDOM. (Yes freedom, freedom of the power of advertising, freedom to make the correct decisions, freedom to feel good about yourself). If you are dieting and feel that you are making sacrifices what do you expect to gain from these sacrifices? I will tell you what, nothing, except for the illusion of trying to get back to the state of peace, tranquility and confidence that many of people I work with enjoy all the time. You will never find harmony in your life if you perceive yourself as making sacrifices all the time. If you have the mindset that you are “giving up” something, you will feel deprived and bemoan to everyone you meet of how unbearable your new diet and lifestyle is. All this does to anyone who listens to you is that they are correct in staying in their selfimposed CRAP diet. They rationalize it by saying “If this program is making you so crappy why would anyone want to do it? Life is too short!!” They will then drag YOU back to their lifestyle, the one you so desperately want to break out of.

I am sure you can relate to this next point if you have ever been on a conventional diet. Go out with girlfriends and deprive yourself of a chocolate cake and you will feel miserable. But if you decide that you do not actually want that chocolate cake and do not really NEED it, then you are freeing yourself.



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If you know someone who needs to eat healthier do not force them to read this book or harp on about the way they are ruining their health. They know all this. They eat CRAP because:

1. It may be all they know in relation to food choices, preparation etc 2. May believe that in order eat healthy , invariably costs more 3. They may feel threatened if made to change their lifestyle 4. They may feel life will never be enjoyable without crap foods 5. They may turn into “closet eaters” which can make them feel worse

So to recap, you are giving nothing Up, but gaining a lifetime of health, energy, peace of mind, confidence, courage, selfrespect, happiness and FREEDOM to live your life your way. Mistake #2 Dispel any Fears Fear is what stops us from achieving what we would like to achieve especially if it involves us having to “give up” something. You might think I am being weird here but the truth is that the reason why most people are resistant to change and losing weight is due to fear. When anyone reaches the point in their life when they realise that they are overweight and something has to be done about it, they fear that their life will be of misery and giving up things. Fear is what stops us from achieving what we would like to achieve especially if it involves us having to “give up” something. If you have been on any diet you will understand this feeling. The word diet conjures up for many people the feeling of deprivation and this is a stumbling block you need to overcome if you wish to make any changes in your life. If you desire to be healthier and slimmer (I know I hear people already saying just because you are slimmer you are not healthier but let’s face it, they are not the ones reading this post right now), you need to change your mindset.



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The fear of failure can be so powerful it can stop you from ever trying a new programme or new way of thinking. It may be stopping you now from truly reading this post and putting into action any of the guidelines that are set out. Remember that there is no disgrace in failure, the disgrace is not making any changes into your life to help create a slimmer and healthier YOU. My advice to you should you digress at any point in any of the plans I recommend, is to get right back to where you left off, read this post again if you need to. Do whatever it takes to start believing in yourself, remove the obstacles that made the blip in your new lifestyle (or learn how to cope in similar situations). Just stop making the excuses and start again. Anyone who has ever tried to change their diet usually feels a fear that the diet will lead to a life of misery and deprivation. I can now look back on this and agree with this mentality and hence the reason for writing this post. You have been deluded into thinking like this. For MOST people who declare that they will start a diet, what do you think is the first thing they do? They go out and have a good feast of all the foods they perceive they are going to have to Give UP. There is an underlying fear that they will never be able to eat any of the foods that they hold so dear ever again. The fear is not relieved by eating chocolates, biscuits, cakes, chips, too much wine or beer or whatever is your Poison, but is created by eating the chocolates and so on, with fervor due to the fear that you will never be able to have them again. You have started the diet by gorging on certain foods, thus putting them on a pedestal and that is certainly a place they do not deserve to be. I will expand more on this point more in this post.



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Mistake #4 Waiting for a health challenge before taking action Research has shown that many people who need to lose weight, actually wait for a major health warning before doing anything about it. These people always knew that they had to lose weight but for some reason never were able to actually do it. They may have had the impression that while they are young they can get away with being overweight. For others they may be deluding themselves that the time is just not right now and should wait until the time is right. I’ll do it when the kids are older…..I’ll do it when work is less stressful….I’ll do it in the summer when it is easier…..Nah I’ll do it in the winter when it is easier…. Many people make the decision to lose weight and improve their health once they are diagnosed with a condition such as diabetes, or prediabetes, heart palpitations or suffer an actual heart attack. This is when they really put into action a diet plan. I had a young client who very much needed to lose weight. She was grossly overweight but refused to acknowledge just how big she was. I suppose the enormity of her weight made her feel it was just too much to tackle and would always concentrate on other issues that seemed simpler to fix when in all reality if she addressed her weight, then the other issues would have been easier to tackle. Mary B. Age: 45 Female, single Overweight to the point of overly obese. Lifestyle: Many work functions, regular drinks with the girls, long hours at work and too many late night takeaways. Mary was discussing with me that she was very unhappy with her life and wanted to make some changes. She wanted to feel better about herself and feel worthy of the friends she had in her life. She was unable to enjoy walking with her friends even on a casual basis and knew she needed to improve her mobility. Rather than address her weight issue for not being able to walk small distances, Mary focused on an ankle injury she suffered years ago when she twisted it. She felt that all she needed was physiotherapy and someone to do their magic on her ankle and all would be fine. Mary knows that I work with people to lose weight and take control of



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their lives in a positive way but she was not ready to admit to me that she was actually overweight. She was pinning all her hopes onto the physiotherapy and all would be good. There was another catch to this story, Mary was avoiding physiotherapy because she was so overweight and could not bear to let someone look at her rather large ankle. Perhaps Mary was not in as much denial as I thought she was? Can you see what is going on here? Mary was coming up with all the excuses she could think of for having an ankle injury. While I was talking to her all I could think of was FEAR. There was a big FEAR issue going on here that was paralyzing her from addressing the real issue of why a knee injury was taking so long to heal and was preventing her from doing what she wanted to do. FEAR that she had to take a good look at her diet and lifestyle, which needed serious attention.



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Mistake #6 Refusing to Take Responsibility for Your Situation

As an individual in today’s society, you have to start accepting the consequences for your actions. YOUR diet does play a major part in your illness. I am tired of hearing people say things like “Well Dad was overweight so that make me prone to being overweight.” That may be true but it does not mean that you have to accept that you will always be overweight. In my family there is a history of bowel cancer. Every two years each of my siblings line up for their colonoscopies to make sure that they are not brewing the cancer cells in their colons. Not one of my family members has approached me to ask what can they do maintain a healthy colon, especially if there is a history of bowel cancer and it is important to have regular bowel motions each day. They are typical of the many people who are waiting for the diagnosis before contemplating any changes in their eating habits. It is a well known fact that more fibre in our diets and making sure one has regular bowel movements (and this means at least once a day of a soft bowel motion) is recommended. It is amazing how many people only listen to this small bit of advice only after they have a diagnosis of bowel cancer. Taking the example of my siblings, if they change their diet today the fear is immediate, whereas the fear of being diagnosed with bowel cancer is so remote that they believe it will never happen to them. So the CRAP diet always wins over.

Now I am not trying to frighten you (or perhaps on a subconscious level I am) to stop eating CRAP food. My aim as is always the theme in this book is to make you realise that life is more enjoyable when you release yourself from the food trap.

Fear of health risks associated with CRAP eating is overshadowed by the fear

of not being allowed to eat CRAP food. Scary but true.



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This is something many women can relate to while on a conventional diet. Go out with girlfriends and deprive yourself of a chocolate cake and you will feel miserable. But if you decide that you do not actually want that chocolate cake and do not really NEED it, then you are freeing yourself. If you know someone who needs to eat healthier do not force them to read this book or harp on about the way they are ruining their health. They know all this. They eat CRAP because:

1. It may be all they know in relation to food choices, preparation etc 2. May believe that in order eat healthy , invariably costs more 3. They may feel threatened if made to change their lifestyle 4. They may feel life will never be enjoyable without crap foods 5. They may turn into “closet eaters” which can make them feel worse

Only when someone is ready to take responsibility of their health and admit they need to make some serious changes to their diet and lifestyle can they change their objectives to enjoy life. Mistake #7 Martyr/Poor Me Mentality

You are not a sacrificial lamb. You are a wonderful special person just wanting to burst out of the body/mind you are trapped in. You need to avoid any further mentality trap where you perceive yourself as making a sacrifice. Many people go on different diet plans only to fail if they do not make the shift from Poor Me to Lucky Me. This is why so many people lose weight initially in most diet plans. They are able to keep up the Poor Me mentality for a limited time. When you change your mindset then you are set for life in your goal of a fitter, healthier you. Danielle Age: 56 Male Size 168cm, 130kg



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Lifestyle: Sedentary worker, drink at the local pub 35 nights a week, diet of chips, sausages, pies with a sprinkling of green peas. Danielle first came to be due to the fact that she was having heart palpitations on minimal exertion and initially was doing very well on one of my programs . Danielle knew that if she wanted to get healthy she had to make some changes to his diet and came to my clinic for some assistance. Danielle was able to make some changes in her diet as well as getting out of the house and exercising more in the form of short walks around the local park. While Danielle was doing very well in the first couple of weeks of the program her stumbling block was the refusal to acknowledge the Poor Me Mentality. I would be brushed me off whenever I broached the subject saying that mind hocus pocus was for the weak. In the first week I noticed that Danielle was starting to feel good about herself and adhering to the plan with great results. By the fourth week though she was starting to regress as she developed the mentality that the program was one of sacrifice. Danielle started to fantasize about all the good times that she associated with eating the CRAP diet she used to “enjoy” before starting the program with me. We discussed how her friends were jeering her when what she needed most of all was encouragement from them. They told her that she was now boring because she refused to go to the local Fish ‘n Chip after Friday night drinks as well as cutting down on her visits to the local pub. Danielle avoided the Fish ‘n Chip shop in the first week and was depriving himself of going out with her friends as she did not want the temptation of what the Fish ‘n Chip shop had to offer. By now I hope you can see just where Danielle had gone astray. If she had changed her mindset and understood that her life was so much better since giving up on the take aways as often as opposed to one of doom and gloom. By all means she could still go. I still go to these type of places if friends choose to meet there but I am in no way tempted to eat the food on offer. I may take some fruit with me to nibble on and always



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have a water bottle at hand. I go if I want to enjoy the person’s company, not for the CRAP food they have on offer. Now there are many problems that need to be addressed in Danielle’s case:

1. Danielle needs to disassociate herself from the illusion that she is making a sacrifice. 2. She needs to stop fantasying about the good times associated with drinking and the

chipper but needs to focus on how bad she actually felt the next morning after a night like this.

3. She needs to focus on how good she was feeling rather than on feeling deprived. 4. She needs to ditch the socalled friends if they cannot support her at a time she needs

them most. (Brutul but true) You are not alone if you are one of the many people that go on a diet, lose some weight, feel great, perhaps some aches and pains are decreasing, skin is starting to look clearer, there is a sparkle in the eyes , the list really is endless. Surely this should be the motivation that keeps you going. Usually it is but what can happen is that the compliments stop coming, you are now looking great all the time so people stop saying it and you may lose your momentum. If you are also in a POOR ME mode then you will slowly slip back into your old habits. Look, I am not saying that you will never ever be able to have a chocolate cake or go to the “Fish ‘n Chip shop” ever again. I always go by the 80:20 rule. This means if you eat healthy for 80% of the time then you can let go 20% of the time. There are some great recipes for “healthy treats” also some of which are included at the end of this post. What many people are unable to do is stop at the 20% and this is because they have put themselves into the deprived POOR ME mentality. You say to yourself that what is the point of being healthy if it is making me miserable? You will surprise yourself when you finally realise that the opposite is true. Eating healthy is far more enjoyable than eating CRAP food. And that is the bottom line you have to get your head around.



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If you are feeling miserable and insecure like Danielle was because she was unable to go to the chipper with her friends (nothing stopping her, she could have gone and sat and chatted with her friends without eating anything if she had the right mindset) you will become obsessed with the chipper and putting it up on a pedestal. You may be on the same wavelength as Danielle and have the following thoughts:

How long can I last avoiding the chipper? Will I ever be free of wanting to visit the chipper? Will I ever be happy again? Will I ever enjoy a meal again? Will I ever be able to enjoy going out for a meal with family or friends again?

While Danielle was pondering these thoughts and waiting for things to improve she was surprised as time went on it to find it more and more difficult to avoid the chipper. And do you want to know the reason WHY? She was becoming obsessed with the Chipper and in her mind she had turned it into her most favourite haunt BUT unattainable. Have you ever noticed a child playing with a toy and another child comes along and takes a different toy from the toy box? All of a sudden the first child wants that toy and may scream that he wanted the toy all along, it was only when someone else took it he realized just how much he wanted it. He does not really want the toy, but someone else has it and then he wants it even more. Get my meaning here? Now, Danielle is pinning for the NEED to go to the chipper. I can assure you that the more she stays away from the “precious” chipper and frets about it the more enjoyable the chipper APPEARS to be. The longer Danielel suffers from not being able to go to the chipper the more enjoyable the chipper will be when, and she will, cave in and nearly order the whole menu. Can you relate to this story?? Daniellel had the mindset that she was depriving herself of the Fish ‘n Chip shop as well as the local Pub, (as opposed to not NEEDING to go ) and so turned the situation into an almighty massive one. You may be able to translate this into your life very easily. For some it may be a chocolate fix every day, others it may be cheese and crackers every evening or sharing a bottle of wine every night. I am not saying that you have to give up these things forever but if doing these things is interfering with your weight loss, then you do have to make some changes.



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By denying yourself anything with the mindset of “I am not allowed to have that” you are on the road to failure. But if you change your mindset to one of “I can have it but I choose not to” completely changes things. Mistake #7 Mind Games: Life will never be the Same Again You need to remove the illusion that life will never be the same again. There are many mind games going on. I have broken them down even further. Mind Game 1: Perceived hunger vs actual hunger. You need to stop obsessing with the fact that you think you are hungry when you make changes to the foods you are eating. There is a big difference between perceived hunger and actual hunger. Why do people overeat or eat the wrong foods? This may seem like a strange question to start off with but you will be surprised to find out that hunger is actually one of the less common reasons for eating. Let’s face it, in our society there is an abundance of food, so true hunger is not really an issue for most of us, at least not the ones reading this post anyway. What is different in our society is it is harder to CONTROL what we eat. A typical situation is the 3pm slumps or 8pm “Raid the Cupboards” time. The reason for overeating (shortly after a meal) is more likely negative emotions such as feeling angry, lonely, sad, depressed or simply boredom. We then trigger something in our brain where we reach out and eat something to make us feel better in this circumstances. (There is also another situation where we might be socializing way too much and eating and drinking is all part of that social scene but for this section I will be focusing on the negative emotions associated with overeating). The urge to eat CRAP food can be so automatic that you lack of willpower, feel weak, or out of control with your life. You need to change the focus of your mindset during these time. One way to know if you are emotionally eating is to think to yourself, will a carrot stick make me feel better? If the answer is NO, then use this as a trigger that you may be emotionally eating.



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If you find yourself at the fridge and searching for a “fix” and you know you are NOT genuinely hungry stop and ask yourself “What am I feeling right now? Am I really hungry?” Take time to think of your emotions just before you made yourself to the fridge. Perhaps you can ask yourself “is there another way I can feel better without resorting to food?” Talk to the urge and listen to the answer. Bring your subconscious out to the open, telling it you are not really hungry but that this is a habit that you are going to break. The good news is that the more often you break the “eating while not really hungry” habit, the weaker the hold this habit has on you. No matter what you eat when you are angry, sad, lonely or depressed, you will still be feeling these emotions after you have had you CRAP food fix. The problem will be exacerbated by the fact that you will also be feeling more self loathe. Eating CRAP is not the answer. When introduce a change in your eating habits you feel a change in your mind and body. One major complaint people seem to make when they start a “diet” plan is the fact of how hungry they may be as well suffering great pain and hardship. This is one of the reasons why I suggest you make no changes into your diet until you have completed this post so you are in the right frame of mind to move forward. Getting in the mind in the right place is just as important as having all your food preprepared. When you start a change in your diet, the “misery” that you are suffering has nothing to do with hunger or withdrawal pains. There may be some adjustment if you are used to eating large meals or have a ritual of 3 teaspoons of sugar in every tea or coffee. There has to be some sacrifice or else you would have lost the weight before now and would not be needing to read this post. The true agony is in the mind and is caused by YOUR selfdoubt and uncertainty. If you start your new dietary plan with the mentality of making a sacrifice then you will feel like you are making a sacrifice and begin to feel deprived. And all this does is put you onto the road to fail.



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If you have ever been on a “diet” and torture and pain is one of the first thoughts come to mind you may need to answer some question, and be sure to answer honestly here. Is there physical pain, come on really, or is it all in the mind when it comes to withdrawals of crap food and moving to wholesome, nourishing food? You have to realise that the agony you are putting yourself through is MENTAL and not physical. And the mental agony is caused by uncertainty and fear. There is no physical pain, you may feel hungry but let me assure you this is a mental thing (unless you are doing a ridiculous diet of carrot sticks and lettuce leaves only which you will most definately have true hunger pains). If you are following one of my programs then I can assure you it is not a physical hunger you are feeling. This mental agony can have a very powerful effect on you and needs to be addressed. By accepting that it is more mental than physical allows you to free yourself from the agony you are feeling and accepting that in time it will pass. This reminds me of a story my son relayed to me last week as we were driving home from school. The day in particular was a day where children were immunized at a secondary school, so the average age was 1416 years. Now before I tell you the story I am going to let you in on a little secret. If you relax and not tense up when the needles is being administered then the pain is very minimal. This is a very true fact. By tensing up you are pulling together all the pain receptors in one bunch, hence you get a big, sharp pain when the needle is inserted. Now back to my story…My son was relaying how some of the boys were crying and one or two actually fainted they had themselves so worked up. My son had marvelous insight when he said “They had themselves so worked up that they pictured the injection to be so bad they had worked themselves into a frenzy, when in reality it was not as bad as everyone thought once they had the injection.” Does the above story resonate with you? Is this what you do when you first make the decision that you have to make some dietary changes? Is the fear of making these changes so massive that you crash on Day 1, without even just getting on with the day and by the end of the day come to the conclusion that it was not nearly as bad as you anticipated? Mind Game 2: Guilt Trip Mind games giving you the guilt trip?



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This guilt can be a powerful thing especially if being overweight is contributing to your bad health. Many people refuse to acknowledge that bad dietary decisions may be the cause of their diabetes for example. Guilt can be so strong it stops people from admitting that they have played a part in developing diabetes. If they do not allow themselves to be accountable for developing diabetes (yes diet and lifestyle is a major contributing factor) then the recovery process is a lot harder. If you have to change your diet for health reasons you can be in denial in regards to having to change your diet because if you do admit to yourself that you have to take stock of your health and what you are eating then that means you have to take part of the blame for being sick in the first place and that is too scary to think about for many people. Or maybe you do not want to face life without the CRAP that made you ill in the first place. People make crazy statements such as CRAP food is so precious take it away and I have nothing?? Many people say to me that if I deny them crap food then life is not worth living. Why do we feel the need to put CRAP food on a pedestal??

Why do we eat CRAP food? Why is it so difficult to make the shift from CRAP food to healthy food. Here are a few reasons that I would like to mention: Availability taste texture convenience education, or lack of Only when you remove the illusion that life will never be the same again (or as enjoyable) once the CRAP is removed….only then will you realise that life will be just as enjoyable if not more so. Or put another way, once the feelings of being deprived are eradicated then you are truly on the path of a vibrant, healthier you.

Mind Game 3 : Power of Advertising. Just look most of the advertisements for chocolate bars. What is the message the advertisers are trying to relay?



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Eat chocolate and you will feel sexy.

While you are letting that chocolate melt in your mouth you are that women on television for a minute or so.

Eating chocolate makes all our worries go away.

Boyfriend ditched you, not to worry, there is always a chocolate bar hidden

somewhere. If we delude ourselves into this type of thinking, when we give up on chocolate or CRAP food, and decide to eat healthy, there will be a void in our lives. We will never be sexy again. (I cannot for the life of me remember an apple looking sexy in an advertisement, so I have put one here for you)>Picture of a sexy pear….

CRAP food does not fill the void, it does not make us sexy, chocolate does not take away the tears when we are dumped. Okay, so eating healthily does not take them away either, but let’s face it what better revenge is there than having a killer body and positive outlook on life when you next meet up with the guy that dumped you? Mind Game 4 : I can afford to eat out now. I can still remember as a child and Kentucky Fried Chicken (now referred to as KFC) arrived in Australia. Growing up in a large family we were not affluent by any stretch of the imagination. I was one of 9 children, which was a big family in those days. Our father worked 7 days a week to put food on the table. Our mother cooked all evening meals, sandwiches were packed for our lunches, picnics were packed on long drives. That was the way it was done and we never gave it a second thought. Growing up we did not think to ask to go KFC as it was not a part of our lives. The reason I am bringing this issue up is very important at how we look at takeaway food by today’s standards.



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A discussion at the dinner table a couple of months ago with a “more affluent” uncle opened up my eyes to how different our lives were. He had five children and he was a successful businessman. The conversation came around to KFC and how in my day it was not really as popular as it today. Uncle just laughed. He remembered every time the family went out on a trip, when lunch time came around he asked the wife where the picnic basket was, only to be told that she could not be bothered, there was a KFC on they way they could stop at. They had plenty of disposable cash and therefore did not give it a second thought. Fastforward to 2015 and two things have changed.

1. Fast food restaurants are now using lesser quality produce in order to sell goods at a “more affordable” price to the lower income earners.

2. Lower income earners can now “afford” to buy takeaway that was out of their

reach 2030 years ago. See the illusion coming in here….”I can now afford to buy from KFC, local pizza, local Chinese, local whatever and I deserve it, I have worked hard for it” These take always are in our grasp and we want it.



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Mistake #8 Old Habits Die Hard Many of us are unaware of how much our habits control our lives. Here is a story from a client of mine, Client: Millie AGE: 58 Male Size: 95kg Lifestyle: Single, worked long hours, Millie shared with me how her parents were rarely at home due to them falling on hard times and the necessity for them to both work and was thus raised by her grandmother. Millie’s parents had to leave for work before she was woken from her bed and was asleep by the time they came home due to the long distances they had to travel. Whenever she did see her parents they always showered her with sweets to help make up for their perceived lack of parenting. Looking back, Millie understood their need for working such long hours and most definitely would have preferred their time as opposed to their sweets but never expressed her disappointment and certainly remembers enjoying the sweets. It was only years later when she came to see me to try and quit her addiction to sweets that we were able to make the association that Millie had created. She too had a stressful, and rather lonely life, and when she opened up about her past it was only then that she was able to understand what habits she had created. She realized that she was associating sweets with love and craved them whenever she was feeling particularly stressed or vulnerable. Once she realized this association, as well as making peace with her parents, Milie no longer has the NEED for sweets.

As well as the need to break bad habits, it is also refreshing to know that you can create good habits that will only impact positively in your life. Research has show that it takes 21 days to break a habit. Just 21 days!.



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If you set yourself a timeline of 21 days to change your eating habits that is a realistic goal that certainly is attainable. Do not for one minute put yourself in the frame of mind that this will be 21 days of torture where you will go back to your old eating habits afterwards; that is the surest way to fail. If you winge and mope for the 21 days then you are feeding the gremlins (and get that CRAP food off that pedestal please!!). Use whatever motivational tools available to you to allow you to make the change in the 21 days. This is where Coaching Sessions can be of great value. The first couple of days will be the toughest but keep in mind the end game and you will make it. The first couple of days there will be withdrawal symptoms from the crap food you have been eating. There is no way to avoid this. But, if you are mentally prepared for it, it does not have to be as hard as some people may lead you to believe. Some people can become irritable and annoying if they allow themselves to be in a deprived mode, but by now you should realise that this does not relate to you. With the right frame of mind you will overcome any withdrawal pangs and be successful in your weightloss journey. # 9 Stop being negative and START POSITIVE SELF TALK TODAY If you are the type of person that looks in the mirror and says, “My goodness, I am ugly. Just look at how fat I am?” or something to this effect well just stop it NOW. When people realise that they need to lose weight there is always a times they become despondent and wonder if they will ever reach their goal. At the first hurdle you may get despondent if the weight loss is too slow or you gave into temptation and snuck in a chocolate bar. You may keep berating yourself and completely go off the wagon.



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And then you may give up altogether. I instruct my clients, whenever they start a program, to write down how they are feeling, if they are suffering any aches or pains, hot flushes, lack of sleep or other pressing issues that they have. When they come back to me in a couple of weeks time many of them say that progress has been slow and nothing is working. I then look at their sheet of what they first complained about and they surprise themselves as they forget a lot of how they were feeling one day 1. This is a very powerful tool and allows people to realise just how much progress they have made.



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Some Genuine Obstacles to Your Weight Loss We like to think that we are in control of our eating when in fact 99% of our thoughts are actually molded. Not only in the food we eat but also in the sort of clothes we wear, houses we live in etc. Advertising uses the power of suggestion over the subconscious mind. Think of your favourite chocolate advertisement; man’s rippling body, sensual full lips of a woman, happy families, everyone’s healthy and ALL skinny! I just love watching the latest car advertisements at the moment that are bombarding our screens, magazines etc. Have you noticed that most car advertisements are all about getting out into the great outdoors and being able to cross river beds, climb steep mountains, children in the back seat watching videos with happy faces. They are not selling cars, but are trying to sell you a lifestyle. Advertisments of trying to get you to picture yourself driving in a turbo 4wheel drive, doing those things and living life to the fullest. The full reality can be very different. The majority of us use our cars to get to work and back ,going out on the odd family outing which usually entails heavy traffic, or using the car for shopping when we frustratingly roam around car parks trying to find a parking space. Try that in a large 4wheel, petrol guzzling car and you curse yourself of being lumbered with something so impractical. You are being dumped into eating now due to some heavy advertising.

Fruit juices in a bottle are just as bad as having a coke. A diet soft drink is far worse for your body that an full sugar soft drink. Butter is better than margarine.

The list is endless but in order for you to understand all this you have to strip back the food, get back to basics, learn new recipes and most of all ENJOY the experience.



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There is a need to start building a resistance to brainwashing when it comes to “healthy foods”. If I see one more advertisement extolling the virtues of how Coco Pops for breakfast are great for growing children I will Snap, Crackle and Pop myself. Or you may be deluded into thinking that Cherrios are good for you if they are wholemeal. I fell for this marketing once, but never again. Processed food is CRAP food and CRAP food is a drug. Once you are addicted to CRAP food your brainwashing increases. Your subconscious knows that the little gremlins have to be fed and you block everything else from your mind. You want a cream cake for morning tea and a banana is just no going to cut it, you have to have that cake. It might not be something so obvious as cake or biscuit. Many socalled “Health Bars” are to be avoided, as well as any health fads. Sugar free should be your first alarm bell. It is the fear that keeps you eating CRAP, the fear of that empty, insecure feeling that you get when you stop supplying CRAP to the body. CLIENT 3 Age: 52 Male Size: 85kg Lifestyle: Self employed, bike rider, avid surfer. I am going to introduce you to Peter to try and balance the female to male ratio (albeit just a little). Peter is a good friend of mine for over a few decades has recently come on board with my eating protocol. Peter has been on antidepressants for most of his adult life and is now in his 50’s. One day Peter decided that he did not want to be reliant on the mediation that he was on as more and more side effects were emerging along with a bulging waistline that he



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wanted to get rid of. He did not tell anyone of his plan in the beginning but thought he would see what this lifestyle change was all first. Peter’s lifestyle change was hindered slightly by his sister who is in the medical world and prescription drugs for her are the answer to everything. Fastforward six months and my friend is a different person. He has been able to decrease his mediation to a very low dose, he has lost quite a lot of weight and MOST of all, the main positive change is his outlook on life and the following words he expressed…. “For years I feel like my brain has been in a fog which has now a big rain cloud has been lifted. I can think clearer, I am no longer depressed. Why did no one tell me about his before? To think that I have wasted so many years gives me much frustration, but at least I feel better now than when I was in my 30’s and 40’s.” The sad part about this story was when he told his sister what he had done was her reaction of negativity of decreasing his medication (which I might add Peter did under the guidance of his doctor). The sister focused on the danger of decreasing his medication (again which he did under the guidance of his doctor) rather than focusing on the positive aspect of just how much better he felt. Unfortunately my friend has slipped back into his old eating habits as he did not have the strength to maintain his new lifestyle. I wonder if his sister had changed her lifestyle as well (which I add seriously needed addressing) would the two of them be healthier and happier now. TRAPS OF ANYONE WHO OVEREATS Statement: I eat when I am bored. Response: Go ahead and eat, you are still bored aren’t you, just feeling crappier, more lethargic but still bored.

Statement: Life is too short to be miserable. Response: Stop making the assumption that if you are eating healthy that you will be miserable.



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Statement: Now is not the right time to eat healthy. Response: There is never a “right” time. Statement: I am miserable while everyone around me is enjoying eating CRAP food. Response: I think we may have that answer already covered. Are they any happier, come on really, they are happy just from eating chocolate? By this point, if I am not there to help you through all your little monster arguements, you give in and eat the CRAP food. There may be a brief moment of pleasure and that little monster has won to live another day. But I bet another monster has reared its ugly head and that is the GUILT monster. You now loathe yourself for giving in. You feel terrible for eating the CRAP food and berate yourself for the lack of willpower and not being able to stop eating the chocolate in the first place.

Fear is what will stop you from giving up CRAP food. Fear that you have to give up

pleasures in life.

Let’s go back to those chocolate advertisements with the sexy men and women. There is a form of brainwashing going on there and by now you should be able to see it when you look at these advertisements. WHY DIET PLANS DO NOT WORK AND HOW TO MAKE THEM WORK.

Here’s a great piece of information: Greek origin of the word diet literally means: Manner of living.

We have already spoken about how you need to change your attitude to your approach to changing your, from now on I will refer to as Manner of Living. One major brain changer is the delusion that has you into thinking that you are giving something up. Once you remove those thoughts and the brainwashing from your mind, you will neither want CRAP food nor, most importantly, need it.



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The second most important point I need to make here is that you need to change your Manner of Living from this day forward, and not just for the duration of any program you may embark on. Client 4: Rachael Age: 25 Female Size: 80kg Lifestyle: High processed diet, non smoker, moderate drinker, very little exercise

Rachael was a client who did many of my plans and was working wonderfully in losing weight and getting her life back on track. She was suffering from PCOS and found my FREE 5 Day plan a wonderful way to kick start to her new life with results in the first couple of days. Never before had a program worked so well and so quickly. I was not surprised as the plan has helped many people to cleanse their bodies and move onto a healthier lifestyle. Rachael and I worked together in me coaching her in her new lifestyle. I felt Rachael had reached a point where she did not really need my help anymore, but Rachael did not have faith in working on her own. In order to succeed in your new Manner of Living Lifestyle, you need to get rid of the mental block/crutch that you have to be following plans all the time. When I had my last session with Rachael, I asked her a few questions and found that she surprised herself in how much knowledge she had attained in the small steps that I had shown her. This is what I want for everyone. Plans are only good for the short term. Whatever plan you are following, you have to understand why you are making the changes and how to implement them once you are off any program. The mistake is when you go back to your old eating habits. If these habits made you overweight and with aches and pains in the first place, then why would you want to go back to them?


http://menopausewhisperer.com/sign-up-page/


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I will always be introducing different recipes or plans. There will be more plans as time goes on due to the fact of bringing more sparkle into your life but never for one minute is it my aim that you can only follow my plans for the rest of your life. The plans are there for you to learn what to do in the next stage of your life. Just as when we go to school and learn how to read and write, we do not need the teacher holding our hand now that we are in the big wide world. The teachers, if they have done a good job, have us going into the big wide world able to read this book for instance. I do not have someone sitting beside me helping me out with the big words. This is where people fail in other programs that they are doing. If you are learning something while on a program that allows you to leave the program and take flight and have the confidence to make the correct food choices, then you will have the body and lifestyle for the REST of YOUR LIFE. Join our facebook page and interact with others. Exchange recipes, exchange stories, join or create a local group where you can meet up with like minded people.

The big question people should be asking themselves is “What happens after the goal is reached?” In the case of Rachael above, her PCOS is greatly relieved and I have recently heard from her that she is now pregnant. Now that is a fantastic bonus for Rachael as doctors had told her that her chances of falling pregnant was very slight. This is where I get so despondent with diet plans. A diet has to be a complete change of lifestyle and something that you WANT to do for the rest of your life. By “doing a diet” in order to look good for something you have put yourself into the POOR ME mode with just the end goal. There should not be a stop time on eating healthy. You need to get your head around that eating healthy is an enjoyable experience.



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I never, ever want to go back to my days of feeling bloated, tired, aches and pains and it astounds me that the minute people reach their goals (or give up on ever reaching them) the first thing they do is “treat” themselves to junk food. Your mentality has you thinking on the goal. You stopped eating crap when you decided you needed to make a change to your life and if you do not change you mentality all you are doing is waiting to see how long you can stick with the latest diet before you give in (and all your friends around you are looking at you thinking the same thing).

If you think that once you let go of the crutch of CRAP food, you will then no longer despising yourself then you are in for a big let down. You mental status is a very important issue here..

Over all things, health NEED TO come first.

People who eat CRAP food and let other things take over our ability to tackle our weight issues are in a selfimposed slavery. They may be aware, or completely unaware, that when they eat crap they wish they were not doing it. It is when you make yourself stop eating crap that you suffer from the delusion of enjoying the crap.

Let me explain this further with this analogy: While my children are at school they have their fruit for morning tea, sandwich or something for lunch, water bottle throughout the day, the average school lunch, you get the picture. There is no complaints, no chocolate bars, no lemonade etc. Now fast forward to weekends all of a sudden I have to keep my eye on the biscuit tin or else a whole packet could be eaten in one go. When they go looking for the biscuits there may be a mini tantrum or such like as to why can’t I have the packet beside me, I need something to eat etc.

Are you getting the point here. There were no tantrums at school but the minute I made the point of saying they could not have something, they wanted it very much. The only time crap food becomes precious is when we are trying to abstain or reduce the intake. Once you eat a healthy diet you do get to a place of satisfaction that the CRAP eaters are trying to attain by eating the chocolate bar or meat pie or low kilojoule snack (that



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really tastes like sweetened cardboard) while the nonCRAP is enjoying the mouth watering sweetness of the ripe peach, savouring the delicious juices with each bite. The CRAP eater does not get the same enjoyment if they ate the peach because their taste buds have been destroyed. Unfortunately now the only time they enjoy sweetness is with chemical laden products. DOES FAT EQUAL UNHEALTHY AND SKINNY EQUAL HEALTHY? One thing I would like you to be clear on, not all fat people eat crap diets and not all skinny people eat healthy diets. Does this surprise you? I was obese at one point and considered that I had the best diet ever. I did not eat red meat, ate chicken and fish only, lots of brown rice, pastas, brown bread, porridge for breakfast, fruit and vegetables. I ate the same as my partner, in fact my partner ate more biscuits and cakes than me but guess what. I was the obese one and my partner was the skinny one. I found this infuriating.

Now that I have changed my diet around and consequently lost the weight, exercising more and basically feeling fantastic I can honestly see the wood for the trees. The best you can be is where you are feeling great within yourself, having the energy to do the things you want to do and need to do (one example here would be able to climb a flight of stairs without being breathless), basically getting away from the illusion that you are making a sacrifice if you do not eat crap but feeling great because you are NOT eating CRAP food. The secret is understanding what is healthy eating, taking responsibility for your eating habits and enjoying the new Manner of Living. HOW TO CATCH A MONKEY I am not too sure if this is a myth or true but there are several similar stories of how monkeys are caught in the wild. One is the method where a wooden crate has a nut inside of it and the monkey is able to see inside the crate. The monkey then puts its hand inside the crate to retrieve the



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nut. Now there is a hole in the crate just large enough for the monkey to put its hand in the crate but not large enough for it to pass the hand out of the crate with the nut. Legend has it that the monkey will not give up on the nut and refuses to let go. Even when they realise that they are going to be taken by the poachers, they know freedom is right there for the taking if only they let loose their grip of the nut. But they don’t. A part of them holds on for dear life. A part of them remains stuck. Why am I telling you this story? Are you holding on to your nuts? Are you holding on for dear life and remaining stuck? Are you ready to let go of the nut and not be held captive? Free yourself from the CRAP food now. Here the poachers are the Advertising Agencies that know that if you hold onto the illusion of the CRAP food and unable to let go then you will be their slaves forever. I do not mean to frighten you into stop eating CRAP food, but to make you realise life is more enjoyable when you have escaped the food trap. Let go of the NUT now. TIRED AND EXHAUSTED FROM MAKING EXCUSES? Would it surprise you if I pointed out to you that the fear of quitting a CRAP diet has you exhausting with imagination and energy as to all the reasons as to why you are unable to change your diet. This reminds me of my son who would complain nearly every night about how much homework he has to do. I timed him one day and for a whole 30 minutes he complained of how much homework he had to do and wondered out loud for me to hear as to when was he going to find the time to do it. I then timed him while he did the homework and found it took him 20 minutes.



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I showed him the times and he was astounded that he actually complained longer about the homework that the time it took to do the homework. Now whenever he comes home and begins his tirade I remind him of the test I did and he gets straight into the homework and uses the time he could have wasted complaining on other things he does find more enjoyable like walking the dog down by the river. Just the same as my son complaining of his homework, so too is the dieter complaining about quitting the food choices they are making. They are so inspired by the fear and misery they perceive they will suffer while dieting that they successfully block their minds from the advantages to be gained from eating properly. Likewise, many people complain and moan about how little time they have in order to make the changes in their cooking and eating plans. If they just went ahead and invested the time in making the changes before they know it they have changed their diet without any major hiccup in their life, apart from feeling absolutely fantastic. The only problem with constant complaining is that it only further draws attention to yourself and gives ammunition to the power of CRAP food. You need to get out and start enjoying life. Once you invest in a few small changes to your diet and lifestyle your outlook on life and life in general will improve dramatically once you make the changes. Believe it NOW. A great joy in eating healthy is feeling great as well as gaining respect for oneself in achieving the mind and body that you want to achieve. DOES CHOCOLATE CONTROL YOU OR DO YOU CONTROL CHOCOLATE? So many people are chocolate lovers and would be mortified if I told them to give up chocolate. I used to eat at least one bar a day and now rarely feel the need to eat one at all. So you think you have a serious chocolate craving??



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Do you wake up in the morning and the first thing on your mind is having a chocolate bar? If you are honest I am sure the answer is no. But if I was to tell you that you were never allowed to have chocolate again I know for certain that every waking hour would have you wanting chocolate. The real problem here is the brainwashing and illusion that chocolate is so much a part of who you are that life will never be the same without it. Have you ever noticed that when you first start a Change in Manner, every time you watch TV or read a magazine the are constant advertisements in relation to chocolate, cakes, fast food restuarants, alcohol etc? Now these advertisements were always there but you never consciously paid any attention to them, but I can assure you that your subconscious was being bombarded with messages galore. When you start to change your Manner of Living , you start to analyse everything. Rather than letting yourself get swept up in the moment and wish you could have one of those Galaxy Delights which will let you be a gorgeous, skinny woman for five minutes, relax and laugh at the fact that you do not need the fix you once thought you did. You should also use this time to see the advertising for what it really is and not let it play on you next time you are out shopping and not be tempted to purchase things without giving each purchase some thought. If I you told that you could not have chocolate ever again you would immediately feel insecure and miserable and you would convince yourself that chocolate is the most precious thing in the world and that life would just not be worth living without it. You have managed to make something that you rarely gave thought to, now one of the most precious thing in your life. Can you see how easily you can make something so precious? Do not worry, there is still 20% of freedom where you can enjoy simple things like chocolate but make sure you are the controller of your life and that CRAP food does not control you.



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Next time you eat a cake think of this: The first 2 mouthfuls you get the most divine sensation after that it is pure calories. Two mouthfuls is usually enough so always enjoy one with a friend or partner.

THE RIGHT TIME FOR CHANGING YOUR MANNER OF LIVING. The time factor of when to change a Manner of Living is always an issue with my clients. There is always an excuse for it never being a good time, but you must make time, you have to make the change NOW. Occasions like dinner engagements, work functions, or birthday parties are going to be a part of your life forever so you need to have a Manner of Living that allows you to attend them. When you first make changes to your normal diet routine you will need to anticipate these gatherings and make a clear instruction that you are not depriving yourself of anything but simply making some changes. I also recommend to my clients that if they are attending a function where they anticipate there will be a lot of processed foods for nibbles that once started cannot be stopped, then to eat before attending. Whenever we have people over for dinner I rarely have predinner nibbles. Firstly I do not believe in eating late, and secondly I do not like it when I am so hungry that if something is put in front of me it takes all my temptation to stop myself for nibbling away. Now when I go out and know that dinner may be late I will have a late lunch or a snack around 5pm. I usually notice most people are ravenous and nibble away at the bowls of crackers and dips, nuts, chips/crisps, etc without even realising just how much they are actually eating. Have you ever noticed when people first start diets they feel the need to let everyone know just what they are doing? They proudly announce to anyone that is listening about



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what they are doing, what they are allowed and not allowed to eat, and generally let you know that they are depriving themselves and if they have to suffer then so can you. There is Power in having the correct mindset is in achieving your goal of a healthier, new YOU. Once you have made the decision to make the change you will no doubt find the time to make the change. You can work around different appointments as long as you have the correct mindset. Remember you are not giving up anything but you are most certainly gaining so much more. You ARE giving up a tired disgruntled body and gaining a slim, trim energy abound body. By now you should be free of your doubts and fears and ready to embrace a healthier lifestyle. I can remember my mother when she used to go on the latest fad diet. She never really enjoyed the cottage cheese on salad with ryvita biscuits that was popular at the time. I can still feel the selfdoubt and loathing that was radiating from her. I was very young and did not fully understand why she felt the need to torture herself (this is from a 5 year old mind) and just enjoy her food. Fastforward 60 years and my mother is at a healthy weight but most importantly is happy and healthy and enjoying life. She has finally learnt that enjoyment of food and how to apply oneself to our diet, is the most important step in any well being program. COMMON OBSTACLES STOPPING YOU FROM CHANGING YOUR MANNER OF LIVING.

1. FRIENDS There will be some obstacles the number one being your friends (this fact may not be a surprise to many of you, but perhaps a relief for someone to be able to say to you now is the time to ditch them, they are the problem, not YOU). Friends may not be happy with the new you.



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It can make them feel insecure and persuade you to eat crap with them to make themselves feel better. They will most certainly try and make you feel as though you are the one being deprived. Do not engage these people and start seeing them as the miserable, pathetic (might be a bit harsh here) people they are. This is important especially if they cannot be happy for you (usually due to the fact of not being very happy with themselves). Would you envy a heroine addict? Do not envy these people but pity them in a quiet way as they are not ready to discover your secret. Perhaps share this post with them, you never what may come of it. 2. MAKING THE LEAP WITH A FRIEND Sometimes it does not work if two or more people “diet” together. At times having someone with you making the same changes in your manner of living can be a positive thing, but all it takes is one person to fall off the wagon so to speak and they feel better when they drag you down with them. 3. GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS Have you ever noticed if you ever go out for a meal with friends, especially women, all it takes is one person to have dessert then the rest jump in and order also. You do not feel guilty at the table if you all had dessert. You rationalize with yourself that no harm will be done if we all do it together. You may be strong and refuse but your friend may guilt you into having the dessert to not make themselves feel bad. What I do at times like this is to ask myself do I really need the dessert. If it has been a while since I have indulged myself and would like to partake a little then I do order a dessert of good quality, and I enjoy it. Usually I will have one or two bites and then I will be satisfied.



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Research has shown (and you can do this research yourself) that the taste buds are triggered in the first couple of mouthfuls. After that you are not really tasting the food divine senses. This could explain why so many gourmet meals are on the small side of servings. So one or two mouthfuls for me and I have experienced the delight of a dessert. I usually have my partner with me at dinner or one of my sons to enjoy a dessert with. I’m happy and satisfied not in the least feeling deprived. 4. EATING WITH CRAP EATERS. Influence of other CRAP eaters: Remember these same people will actually envy you while trying to get you to eat the crap. 5. HAVING A BAD DAY. You had these before you changed so there will be good days and bad days that is life. Having the cake does not change things, the situation is still there. It does not solve the problem, you are “simply punishing yourself by moping for an illusory crutch. 6. STOP DITHERING and WHINGING It is easy to change your lifestyle and eating habits. It is only the indecision and moping that makes it difficult. It is also the lack of knowledge of where to start if you are going to change your eating habits. You will be amazed at what situations people can put themselves in. You are creating an impossible situation. You are miserable because you can’t have the cake and you will be more miserable if you do. You know you have made the correct decision by Changing Your Manner of Living, so do not punish yourself by ever doubting the decision. 7. Need to be aware of any physiological triggers. For some people this may be the usual seat while watching television where they may have biscuits after dinner, or the local coffee shop where a morning coffee is not complete without a doughnut. To overcome these obstacles start new rituals. Perhaps a small walk after dinner, have a take away coffee and sit in the park and relax over a coffee. You do not have to give up on life altogether just make a few small changes can make a world of difference



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8. Do not fall into the trap of fat free, sugar free etc. I will not expand on this in this post but if you will be expanding on this topic in another post. 9. Do not feel deprived while having your morning tea if you are used to having a treat every day with your cup of tea. This will only make you not enjoy your morning tea. Find a good book to read, a close friend to chat with to compensate. If you concentrate on what you are not having your sense of loss becomes increased because of the association of ideas, the doughnut gets the credit for making you lousy (or lack of doughnuts I should say). If you are able to remove the brainwashing and stop whinging about the doughnut, the morning coffee moment will be a more enjoyable. Concentrate on what you have (the coffee) rather than what you do not (the doughnut). Do not allow the enjoyment of the morning tea or coffee be taken away but enjoy the moment. 10. Boredom and stress can be a dangerous combination. Many house bound people fall into this category as housework can be very stressful and very monotonous. Being house bound can leave you with long periods where you can mope about your loss, which only increases the feeling of deprivation. 11. Fear of failure There is no disgrace in failure, the disgrace is not trying in the first place. So what if you fail, you get back on the horse, read this book again, believe in yourself , remove the obstacles that made you fail, stop the excuses and start again. 12. Fear of panic and of being miserable. chocolate for the rest of his life was inconceivable.

POSITIVE POINTERS TO GET YOU MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

Never doubt or question your decision but rejoice in it.

Realise that you have the potential to change and all that you need is a positive attitude.

Remember that you are not giving up anything. There will many more happy times as opposed to low times from here on in I assure you.



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Realise that crap eating is an addiction that needs to be addressed.

Rejoice in the new you, have a positive frame of mind and the withdrawal pangs will be replaced with moments of pleasure.

A positive approach is most important: when looking for prospective workers outlook on life is more important than skills.

Once the 3 weeks fly by, clarity comes to mind. The veil has been lifted”

You realise that life is worth living without crap food. You get enjoyment in life, in the foods you are eating. For many people this is the moment when they are able to look at crap eaters with pity

You need to remove the block that makes you feel you are not worthy. Craving for food does leave you with an empty, insecure feeling leading to a feeling of pleasure when you eat leading to only feel bad again. The more precious a food is the more deprived you will feel. Self talk is an automatic thought or statement we all make to ourselves which in turn influence how we feel and act. Remember a couple of pages back when I discussed how I felt just before going on stage for a major talk and how I was able to turn my feelings around with some positive self talk? Just as self talk can be positive and constructive so too can it be negative and soul destroying. Selftalk in a negative way is selfsabotaging any chances you have of making any positive changes in your life. Not only are you what you eat, and what you absorb, but also what you think. Selftalk such as “I am a loser, I will always be fat” can make you feel like a failure in a very powerful way triggering you into the action of overeating and/or totally giving up on the idea of changing your Manner of Living. WHAT YOU NEED TO DO?



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Stop yourself when you have any negative thoughts and definately do not let them linger. Fretting about the extra bit of cheesecake is not going to change anything. It is time to move on. Be aware of any negative selftalk and recognize what you are doing. Out of every negative situation there is always something to learn from it. It is how we grow into the competent adults that we are. Once you believe in yourself, you will certainly see a change in yourself, how you see the world and how you can achieve anything you set your mind to. As with all life skills, this is not something you pick up straight away. We can all remember what it was like when we first learnt to ride a bike. It certainly did not come easy to me my first time on a bike, but perseverance has most of us knowing how to ride a bike. And the same applies to you changing your Manner of Living. You need to learn to make yourself conscious of the food you are eating. This helps in managing ‘nonhungry” eating and thus weakens its hold on you. Once you make yourself conscious of what you are eating, it also allows you to weigh up the pros and cons of making your food choice and feeling free to have something, reject it or just eat a little bit. You are in control of your life, do not let food control you. I find it astounding that most people do not really look at what they are eating and cannot see the CRAP food for what it really it. I now go into a café and able to hone into what is actually healthy as opposed to what “appears” healthy. Have you ever seen a picture that has so many colours and shapes and the aim is to find the “hidden” letter or number or something similar? You may look at the picture for hours and not see what everyone else can see. Someone may have to show you where it is or you may finally see it. Once you see it you wonder how you ever missed it? Your eyes have been opened. In my 7 day program this is where I guide you into seeing CRAP food for what it is essentially being able to see the “wood for the trees” and eliminating the undergrowth! NEED TO SET PROPER GOALS Unrealistic expectations and guilt around food plays a big part in people’s attempt to get their lives on track in a healthy way. For some of you reading this book achieving the



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right mindset may have already kicked in. It is like a switch has been turned on, you see the face in the siloutte of the tree, you are ready to tackle the supermarkets and processed food people and see through their games. You have the knowledge to know how to look at your food choices, you have the POWER! Focus on what your motivation is and make sure to write things down and look back on your progress. Healthy ready made meals and plans can be great tools but they will only help you if you know what to do once you move on from plans or ready made meals if they are restricting your life too much. Let’s face it, you can only have so many shakes at a lunch when out with your friends. You need to use the tools that have been explained in this book and in our programs to take responsibility for what you eat and feel empowered to make the changes you choose to make. You need to take control of making real choices by knowing and accepting the consequences of your actions without feeling deprived in any way. Understand the enemy: know its tactics and you will defeat it. What is the right mindset: tell yourself I could have it but choose not to have it. Now that you have made the decision that something needs to change and that you are striving for a healthier more vibrant YOU, you need to understand a few more things that may get in the way of your progress. At some point in your life you are going to have to go through the process of “setting yourself free”. Crap food is not a habit or pleasure but is an addiction and one that you have to break away from. Once the gremlins inside your head are gone and your body stops craving the CRAP once any brainwashing is gone, you will be both physically and mentally more able to cope with what life throws at you and allow yourself to enjoy each day to the full.



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