PRESENTATION FOR PARENTS & TEACHERS

Bullying is… An intentional written, verbal or physical act, including but

not limited to one shown to be motivated by any characteristic such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national

origin, gender, sexual orientation, mental or physical disability, or other distinguishing characteristics, when the

intentional act:

(a)Physically harms a student or damages his/her property

(b) Substantially interferes with the student’s education

(c) Is so severe, persistent or pervasive that it creates an intimidating or threatening educational environment

(d) Or substantially disrupts the orderly operation of a school

Simply stated, bullying…Is intimidating or subjecting a person to

hostility or ill treatment .

Involves actions which cause another person to feel afraid, humiliated, embarrassed,

threatened or shamed.

Occurs in a relationship in which there is an imbalance of power.

Is repeated over time

Bullying Happens in Five Ways:Verbal: Teasing, jokes, ignoring/isolation, gossip, threats

Physical: Blocking someone’s path, physical restraint, pushing/kicking, hazing

Sexual: Teasing, touching, slapping, pictures, emails, graffiti, sexual assault

Property: Hiding belongings, theft, arson, extortion, vandalism, destruction

Online: Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that happens online or through text messages or emails.

Bullying is NOT…A normal childhood

activityA rite of passageThe target’s fault

Differentiating Bullying from Normal Peer Conflict/Mean Behavior:

Normal conflict/mean behaviorEqual power or are friends

Happens occasionallyAccidentalNot serious

Equal emotional reactionNot seeking power

Remorse-will take responsibilityEffort to solve the problem

BullyingImbalance of power

Repeated negative actionsIntentional

Physical or emotional harmUnequal emotional reaction

Seeking control/material thingsNo remorse-blames target

No effort to solve the problem

For the target, bullying is a “loss” experience.

LOSS of safetyLOSS of self-esteemLOSS of belonging

LOSS of control over their own life

Effects of Bullying on the Target:

Physical EffectsStomach aches

Weight loss/gainHeadaches

Drop in gradesDrug or alcohol use

Sexual activityPhysical aggression

SuicidalHomicidal

Emotional EffectsAlienation

Low self-esteemInsecurity

FEARDepressionWithdrawnAggression

AngerVengeful

Warning Signs that your child may be the target of bullies:

Frequently teased, taunted belittled, ridiculed, intimidated,threatened, dominated or subdued

Has a derogatory nickname

Regularly has bruises or injuries that can’t be explained

Has belongings taken or damaged

Few or no close friends at school

MORE Warning Signs:Frequently socially isolated

Less assertive or lacks the skills to respond to others’ teasing or

Harassment

Appears weak or easily dominated

Tries to stay close to a teacher or other adult at recess or breaks

Talk with your child about bullying!

What To Do if you suspect your child is being bullied:

Talk with your childIf your child is being bullied, they need to have a voice in how

the situation is handled.

Contact the schoolSet up a meeting with your child’s teacher(s) or counselor. Consider including the school resource officer if applicable.

Develop a plan for keeping your child safe, particularly during vulnerable times (class breaks, lunch, recess).

Find out what activities or counseling options are available for your child.

Contact police or school resource officer if the actions are: criminal (assault, theft, serious threats, vandalism

Recommendations if you suspect your child is being bullied:

Don’t encourage your child to fight back—two wrongs don’t make a right!

Listen to your child, do not ignore your child’s plea for help.

Don’t confront the parents or the other child directly.

Avoid bringing your child and the bully together to elicit an apology or resolve the issue.

What about the bully?Studies show that children identified as bullies by age 8 are six

times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age 24.

60% of kids characterized as bullies in the 6th-9th grade had at least one criminal conviction by age 24.

Bullies are five times more likely to end up with a serious criminal record by age 30.

Contributing Factors Associated with Bullying:Family Factors

Lack of attention and warmthModeling of aggressive behavior at home

Poor supervisionIndividual Factors

Active, impulsive personalityLack of empathy for others

Craves attention and approval from othersSchool

School climate is perceived as uncaring or indifferentTeachers/staff unaware or unclear of bullying definitions or

how to respond

What motivates a bully?Bullies prey on an imbalance of power.

They may be seeking attention.

They need to make themselves feel more important.

They need a particular reaction from the other members of the group.

Bullies believe their behavior is exciting and makes them more popular.

What motivates a bully?They may be coping with a loss.

They may have an active and impulsive temperament.

They may be victims of bullying/abuse.

They may see violence modeled at home or elsewhere in their lives.

They may have low self-esteem.

Warning Signs that your child may be bullying others:

Frequent name-calling

Regular bragging

A need to always get his/her own way

Spending more time with younger or less powerful kids

A lack of empathy for others

A defiant or hostile attitude, easily takes offense

Frequent misbehavior at school

What To Do if you suspect your child may be bullying others:

Talk with your childNever condone bullying behavior; speak up and tell your child that

the behavior they are engaging in is considered bullying.

Encourage empathy for othersRemind your child that everyone has a right to be themselves, to choose

their own friends and to feel safe at school.

Review consequences of bullying behaviorBoth discipline consequences and relationship consequences

Reinforce respectful behaviors at homeHelp your child deal with feelings in positive ways

Contact the school for help

Set up a meeting with your child’s teacher(s) or counselor.

Develop a plan for change.

School Interventions/Consequences for Bullying:Warning

Verbal and written

Permanently documentedCoaching/Intervention

Anger Management, Conflict Resolution/ Communication/

Problem Solving Skills, Diversity Training duringschool or before, during, or after school detention.

May be provided by administrators, teachers, counselors,

school psychologists, or school resource officers

Suspension/ExpulsionReferral to Law Enforcement (if applicable)

What is Cyber bullying?

Cyber bullying- a means of using online resources to tease,

humiliate, embarrass, harass, and intimidate people on the Internet.

Cyber bullying is a serious social problem that needs to be addressed

by parents.

Remember just because it happens on the Internet does not diminish the destructive impact it has on

children.

Few examples of Cyber Bullying: A threatening e-mail , nasty Instant

Messages

Repeated notes sent to the cell phone

A website set up to mock others “Borrowing” someone’s screen name

and pretending to be them while posting a message

Forwarding supposedly private messages, pictures, or video to others. Posting derogatory videos and pictures

online

Why do kids cyber bully each other?

Cyber bullying is often motivated by frustration, anger, revenge or

entertainment.

Most kids who cyber bully don’t think it is a big deal because it occurs online.

Many kids mistakenly believe that because the communication is online

that is harmless, funny and that they will never get caught.

Many students do not think about the consequences of their actions.

They don’t think in terms of how their actions may affect themselves or others

in the future.

Possible consequences of cyber bullying: The impact on a child’s psyche can be enormous. They get the feeling that their life is ruined, that

their reputation is destroyed forever and that they will have to live with the defamation for the rest of

their lives.

How do you know if someone is being cyberbullied?

Here are some signs to look out for:Long hours on the computer

Is secretive about Internet activitiesBehavioral changes

Won't say who they are talking toMay find unexplained pictures on computer

Trouble sleepingStomach and headaches, lack of appetite, throwing up

Fear of going to out of the houseCrying for no apparent reason

Lack of interest at social events that include other studentsComplains of illness before school or community events often

Change in attitude, dress or habitsUnexplained broken personal possessions, loss of money

Stories that don't seem to make senseActing out aggression at home

Teach your child to communicate. If an adult or a child someone is being cyber bullied, do not accept the bullying behavior as a problem your child has to live with. The bullying behavior is

the responsibility of the bully, not the child being bullied

What should you as a parent do if your child is cyberbullied? :

Inform the school principal or teacher if the bullying is school related.

Save all messages for evidence.

Inform police if threatened with harm.

Stress to your kids that what is written on the Internet is on there permanently!!

What can parents do to help their child?

Be an advocate for your child.

Teach your child to be an advocate for him/herself.

Know your kids passwords.

Look for any changes in behavior.

Monitor your child’s computer use.

Establish an AUP contract for online use.

How to approach the school:Every school should have a very specific policy on

dealing with bullying. The school’s anti-bullying policy should state who your first point of contact should be. Telephone the school and request an appointment with

the appropriate person or the Principal. Have your facts prepared;

Names of children involved and of witnesses. Your son/daughter may not be the only one being bullied

The nature of the incident/sDates, times and locations of incidents

At the meeting:Ask to have the incident investigated.

Ask what support the school can offer your son/daughter, e.g. counseling or supervised mediation between the

parties if appropriate.What action will be taken to protect your child from

retaliation?

Thank you for your attention. Together we can win the fight

against bullying.Please visit the website www.Think2xTwice.org for more info about

workshops or to make a donation towards our efforts.

Visit these additional websites for Bully Resources:Think2xTwice.org sponsored site:

http://www.nowaytobullying.webs.com/Resources to keep your kids safe= www.kidpower.org

Help in a bullying situation= www.bullyhelp.orgIf someone you know is being bullied or is bullying others=

www.stopbullying.govCyber bullying info= www.cyberbullyhelp.com

Someone you know is being bullied or is bullying others www.stopbullyingnow.com

Bully policies and report by state= www.bullypolice.org