2004 birželo 24d. (thursday). 5.25 am. Woke up & msread th time on my w@ch on th desk nxt 2 th bed & hav had a showr. Found a slip of ppr in th back pockt of me trouzrs wth th words of a song on it. I rmmbr now I put it in whn I listnd 4 while 2 a sssion of songs from a prtkulr rgion on a s@urdy. He-re they r : oi seniai seniai pas motule buvau, / vai ir užėlė cie vieši kelaliai žaliu žolali // vai aisiu aisiu, žaliu žoly minsiu / aš pas sovo radnuju motuly viešnagėn aisiu. // oi, motula mano, oi širdela mano, /rinkai, rinkai man jaunai berneli ir neišrinkai // oi dukrela mano, oi viešnela mano, / vaikščinėjai kožnan kermošėlin, raikėj išsirinkc. // motula mano, širdela mano, / jauna buvau, menkas razumėlis, raikėjo patarc. // žalia rūtelė pilkam purvely, / o aš jauna, motulės dukrelė, dzidzam vargely…. 4.30. Vaidas iz workn on a 5 ft woodn skulptura kalld BOBA (old womn); Miglė iz drawin; th dog (Mirta (blongnn 2 Tony Mushroom (c ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ p9)) iz huntn 4 fleas mung her teats; Brigita iz w@chn Vai-das work; I had a dip in th spring fed watr of th Šešuola (rvr) bordrn th SODYBA. Got here x bus (ddnt hear from KAaRlAgZiIsJA) 2 Ukmergė & then a minor bus 2 th gravl road th@ kums 2 wthn O 1 or 2 k of here. Az I woz → long th gravl road & then th wheel track † th meadows in flowr (many violntly blu-e) shftn th heavy suitkase ← 1 shouldr → uthr (kould c th chmny wth th stork on th nst ← a long way) it seemd 2 me I had cn many such scenes of a lone man → (mayb 2 his home vllage) in films. I woz glad th 3 or 4 bslutely blotto drunks (sum uthrs smelt of akrid alhokol (like metho) th way guys do whn theyv bn drnkn 4 days & then dry out 4 a few hours (from alhokolik sweat)) ddnt get out wth me @ th isol8d roadside bus stop Jienušiške. I spent O 2½ hrs in Ukmergė whr I sor a chrch wth a litho flag in it (ystrdy I spottd 1 in a side chapl of th ARKIKATĖDRA-BAZILIKA in Vilnius). I hav dcided th@ whn th@ hppns I nvr step nside it gain. L8r I nearly sh@ meslf. Th groggn on & bad livn haz wreckd me guts or mayb I hav a bug. Th toilt in a 1 room (typkl) bar woz in use & I made th mstake of rfusin 2 pa-y 3 Lt 4 a taksi 2 th bus st8n whch woz nly 10 mns walkn way & then I had th mergncy & yes! it woz a real mergncy (like I rmmbr from childhood & Montaigne tells us 2 keep in mind th@ they happn 2 sai-nts & kings & very wize peopl) & I had 2 duck B-HIND th nearst hedge (1 metr from th footpath (in th main street (9/10/04. l8r (c ‘Vilnius → Melbourne’) I learnt th@ in soviet daze it uzed 2 b kalld Vlado Žviblio g. ftr Vaido unkl)) & barely got th daks down & woz skrabbln 4 me toilt roll (bottm of my lrger day pack)) & it all gushd out @ th same time az I sor th side wndows of th shop I woz nxt 2 wer lookn strght out @ me in th shrubbry. This woz a speed job & it may not hav bn kompletd I thght & @ th bus st8n toilt (of th SHITHOLE style whr it lso ssumes u hav your own ppr so make sure (very, very sure) 2 lways karry sum) whr u squat (or ½ st& - not sure of th best teckneek) low if u dont want 2 eyeball your nghbr I nspktd me pants & ndrpants & thght I woz mayb gunna hav 2 b sittn & stnkn nxt 2 sum1 in th bus (th@ goes Kaunas → Molėtai) but it wldnt hav m@rd koz of th alhokol fumes. Cest la vie. Early in th mornn wth th streets mpty whn I woz goin → bus st8n in Vilnius I woz lookn (wth me biggr day pack on & pulln me suitkase) @ me map & a yth drssd in black kame 2 ask if I needd nythn (I sp-ose he thght I woz kumn not goin) & he turnd out 2 b a TOUT 4 STRIP KLUBS (etc) & his fathr had murdrd his muthr whn he woz 2 but he lso died soon aftr so he woz an orphn (500 Lt / month if u r st-udyn) & turfd out of skool koz he woz a problm kid @ 15 & he had no pprs & woz proud he had pickd up sum nglsh livn on th streets etc but his litho woznt much bettr & he would soon get a passprt but woz fraid of → uthr kuntries 2 try gain (no skills) & though wiry hiz h&shake woz strong & I ddnt take out my booklt 2 take down th nfo koz I ddnt want 2 b like a journo (lso I hav rlized I kannot uze th ka-mra bkoz such an akt & @itude nvolvs a dstancin of yourslf from th bjekt (rektn a barrier)) & I trustd him (lso gave him 1.30 Lt) & it bkame pparnt 2 me he wantd a listnr not a 2rst. He sed it woz tuff on th street not like in uthr kuntries (he mght b wrong) & he ddnt like th work he woz doin but he had nuthn in Šiauliai, not evn a friend, whch woz whr he woz ←. I do not like his chances 4 th future & I wishd him well & I meant it & he wishd me well & whn I woz 20 yards way he kalld out thanks & wishd me good luck (LAIMĖS) & I hav 2 stop meslf from kryin az I write. He iz smart & he iz strong & I think he may kill sum1 1 day bkoz thr iz 0 4 him. He iz 18. I think he kan b saved nly x a persn. 2004 birželio 25 d. Iv bn way a munth. Kan th FUTURE b known? 2 ask th ? iz lready 2 make a gram@kl (in th Wittgenstinian sens) mstake & then u get trappd x knots of meanns : bkoz w 4get th@ in its 4m8n th not-knowin iz part of th shapin of th word FUTURE (9/10/04. xept when w predikt kons-

1

quences (ie rptitions) of preznt evnts eg. nght kums ftr day (astrnmkl etc)). W 4get th BEGINNINGS (Plato?) & then get trappd in konfusions. If w knew th future w wldnt need THE WORD – it would me-an w wer travlln ← 2 th start. Ystrdy evnn me & Vaidas → SENKAPIS (barrow-mound – 4 xpln8n read ‘Lord of th Os’) @ th nd of th propty & ↑ thrgh lush wet grass 2 th top 2 whr † (biggr than th rginl 1) iz rektd probbly x hiz gr&fathr. @ th bottom w wer sprized 2 find ½ duz plastk kontainrs mung th weeds 4 shieldn kandl flames from wind. 1 plastk bottl (like a beer (2 ltr plastk) or koke bottl kut in ½) haz a bunch of flowrs in it whch r not fully dried out yet. Hoo iz doin it? Brigita suggstd Miglė ask Tony & Mil-da Mushroom whn sh goes ovr thr 4 our fresh milk (strght ← th kow) if its thm. (I kan hear a woodpckr so Im goin 2 get me bnoklrs & c if I kan spot it : thr wer 2 of thm & I got a real good look. They r th Vidutinis Genys (Dendrocopos medius)). On th mound thr iz lso a sgn on a small cemnt post : LIE-TUVOS TSR VALSTYBĖS SAUGOMAS ARCHEOLOGINIS RIMEISIU SENKAPIS (litho SSR govt. prtektd rklogikl Rimeisiu ncient burial site). L8r x th LAUŽAS (fire) whch w light very nght w drank SAMAGONA (or SAMANĖ az Vaidas kalls it bkoz he reckns th taste may kum ← moss but what I drank @ Laimas (c ‘Vilnius (no.2)’ p8) had green grass in it) a home brewd fire-watr. (I kan hear thu-ndr). This mornn I got up much earlier (Brigita & Miglė r still sleep, Vaidas haz made us a koffee) than th rest & made me way down th track thrgh a field of tall white, blue & smallr yllow & purpl (long rolln peel of thundr) flowrs (voidn th fresh dirt from the mole Os) 4 a full mmersion in th freezn watr of th Šešuola. (Its rainn). I had a good nghts sleep & m pulln meslf (ddnt w all whn w wer kids) 2gethr from th nhealthy (I chanced 2 run me h& → me neck a few days ago & it woz greezee az if I had put sunt-an lotion on (I woz showrn very day) from all th cepelinai (aka DIDŽKUKULIAI – my ozzie readrs (Zo-rca) will b ntrstd 2 know) & uthr foods in oily sauces I had bn eatn) livn I had bn leadn in Vilnius. (sun iz out, humid, long rolls of thundr, Vaidas iz chizln) …. (th yng storks (2 of em) r out st&n on th edge of th nest (on the chmny) & testn their wings) … (got a sweat up mowin grass wth a DALGIS (LITOV-KA in russian 2 dstnguish th strght h&ld litho scyth from th kurvd handl of th ropean 1)) … (thrgh th middl of th day (got a tremor in me h& from th mowin) I woz tryin 2 rmmbr th words of a song O mow-in I used 2 sing & it kame back 2 me : Pabėk bareli / Galan valako (x 2) // O kad nelėgsi / Mes pavarysim (x 2) // Mes paprašysim / Kieman brolaliu (x 2)// Kad padėtu pavaryti / Mūsu bareli (x 2)) …. (went 4 nuthr look @ th senka-pis & †† & sor a Kiauliukė (Saxicola rubetra)) …. (Geltonoji starta (Emberiza citrinella))….2004 birželio 26 d My guts r th konsstncy of meltd chokl8 & I nearly had an akcdnt gain this mornn. Ill hav 2 get sum ‘angliuku’ (charkoal) tablts, whch iz th univrsl kure 4 all gut & dgstion problms here. Sham-eful vdnce of my kondtion iz vizbl in th pit toilt & I ntnd 2 karry a ½ roll of toilt ppr wth me on all kkas-sions. Its 9.00 am. Ystrdy Brigita found out from Milda Mushroom (Grybas; & w found 1 2 put in th soup 4 2nght) it iz they hoo put kandls in front of th † on th SENKAPIS on ŠVENTŪJU (all saints) day & th@ kkordn 2 very1 in th ٱ th site woz uzed az a burial gO (whch would xplain th bones Vaidas used 2 find in an roded part whn he woz a kid) 4 soldiers & childrn durin th war but no1 knows any1 hoo lies buried thr or haz cn a burial. I prayd @ th † ystrdy bkoz I sspkt I mght b part of a large skema of things (orgnzm?) & wthn it I 1td 2 assrt (I mean x havn aktd (& only 2 th@ xtnt) in th same way), howvr nadqu@ly, my soldarity wth th Grybas (Tony Mushroom iz a bit of a drunk) famly hoom I dmired so much (c ‘Melbourne – Kaunas’ p9) whn I woz here b4. It iz much koolr 2day & rainn. Pity koz I would hav liked 2 get stuck in2 th mowin…. B4 Brigita & Miglė had wokn up Vaidas sed lets go 2 th Ukmergė (31/9/04. here iz th ntry on my gr&fthr from the litho Oopaedia (Vol xxxv, p374) publshd in Boston, USA : “ Žižys Juozas (1864 Žeimiu k., Deltuvos vls., Ukmergės aps. – 1946 Kaune) knygnešys. Nuo 1885 skleidė liet knygas Ukmergės, Vilniaus ir Utenos aps. Per jo rankas vienas Aušros nr. pateko ir A. Smetonai, kuris tuo laiku mokėsi ir gyveno Ukmergėje viename kambaryje su Ž. broliu Jonu. Kaip knygnešys nuo 1936 gavo pensija. Būdamas vyriausias brolis, jis išleido i kunigus du jaunesnius brolius : Jona Ž. (m. 1902), talkinikavusi knygnešio darbe ir veliau klebonavusi Latvijoje Livanio mstl., ir Simana Ž (1879-1931). Visi trys jo sūnūs baigė aukštaji moksla : lituanistas Jonas, Juozas ir aviacijos kpt. Inž. Vytautas Ž (1911 – 63 Australijoje.”) markt but 1st w stoppd 4 a wheel lignmnt bkoz th kar woz pulln really hard 2 1 side & u kould feel a wheel wobbln. Thn he kouldnt get th kar startd & th larm would swtch

2

on whn he turnd on th gnition. In th nd he spent 140 Lt 4 rplacin 2 sets of wheel bearins, 1 tyre, gettin a wheel balnce & lignmnt & havn th lektrikls fixd. We spnt most of th day killn time. In th markt a guy offrd a 1 gear bike u would pick up in Melbourn 4 nuthn 4 100 Lt. L8r w sor a br& new 1 dvrtized in th ppr 4 100 Lt. It means th@ wth his long hair Vaidas iz bein taken az sum1 from ovrcs. Litho kars (klappd out 2nd h& 1s from germny) dont like me az its th 3rd 1 2 get in2 trubl while Iv bn in it. W passd nuthr PAMINKLAS (mnmnt, gravestone) outlt. Vaidas sez they koncentr8 on mrriage & death here. Th mrriages of10 fail but th deaths nevr do. My fathr told me vllage womn sumtimes would hav their koffn ready in dvance & would dress up & lie down in thm 2 tst how they mght look 4 th big kkasion. Ystrdy Milda woz on th verge of tears whn sh rkountd how her aunt hoo woz 1 munth short of 100 whn sh woz buried last week had askd in her will (& saved up xtra muny 4 it) her koffn b fetchd from her home 2 th chrch x a priest but he had rfuzed th nusual rquest. Az me & Vaidas wer sttn in a bar typkl of Ukmergė (I sor 3 such th day b4 ystrdy) konsstn of 2 small tabls & 4 bench seats in a room no < my lounge in Ivanhoe wth 1 nd ⁄d off x th bar a large guy stung us 4 20c x sttn ↓ nxt 2 me wth a lot of IBITVAIMATn, BLATn & YOPTVAIMATn az he told a story O how he lost a wllt wth 50 Lt in it wh-ch he wld hav uzed 2 x us a beer but he woz only askn 4 1 beer etc, etc. Sor nuthr guy down a ½ ltr of beer (in plastik kontainr) in 1 gulp a la Bob Hawke. → O in steady rain 2 do a bit of shoppn & I got th charkoal pills while w waitd 4 th kar 2 b fixd. Back @ th KARČIAMA (bar) on Vaidases rkmmd8n I bought a flask of trauktine (Vodka strngth drinks flavourd in vrious ways) I hdnt tried yet : Trejos Dev-ynerios (999) bkoz its flavr kums from 27 herbs & grasss. I m drinkn a glass now & its OK but not as good as Čepkeliu whch I lso bought a flask of. (Its rainn – hznt stppd all day) Whn w kame back goin past th SENKAPIS (ystrdy I sor a hare thr) I got a good look @ a large pigeon Iv bn seein from a dst-nce in th ٱ. Its a Keršulas (Columba palumbus). Brigita is sttn near x readn Lietuvos Rytas whch I brought from town. Vaidas haz gon nside probbly 2 skape from Migle (hoo whn w got back greetd m wth a poem from ‘clocks ticked on’ whch sh had learnt x heart) hoo nevr stops terrorizin thm. Whn w wer in th 1 room KARČIAMA it kkurd 2 me th@ ½ of my gnetik nheritnce kums from rght here bkoz this iz my fathrs TĖVIŠKĖ. (1/10/04. He & his older brothers were the first from his village to co-mplete a secondary and further education. They finished in minimum time with high results in the only school available which was in Ukmergė 6ks away. In autumn and winter they boarded in the town (a heavy financial burden) as it was too far to walk in mud and snow. My father was not able to join youth associations and clubs (3/10/04. which may explain his lifelong war-iness of organizations) because he didnt have the required uniforms as his parents were poor. He was not able to join the soccer team (later in the airforce he became a competent gymnast & an excellent competition marksman) because the only pair of shoes he owned were needed for going to school. His uniforms were hand-me-downs from his brothers. He never had books of his own relying on ones lent to him by fellow students) (4.55 & it iz rainn) …. 2004 birželio 27 d (8.20 am) Its rainn. Vaidas iz makn t. Brigita (hoo iz ntrstd in th medkal prprties of plants & haz bn feedn us superbly (šaltibarsčiai (litho borscht), nettl soup, all kinds of t nkludin red t & t made from juodū serbentu (black kurrnt) leavs etc etc ) az if it woz our male prrog@v 2 b waitd on (but I offrd 2 wash th dishs & sh kcptd) h& & foot) & Migle havnt surfced yet (ncidntlly Brigita iz O K8s age & xtre-mly ffcient & nergetik in verythn sh duz) but I c Vaidas has prpared a 3rd kup of koffee so sh must hav. Th gO iz soggy & Im 1drn if well make it out ovr O a k of meadow → road. I feel like a mmbr of th fa-mly koz last nght (Im takin 2 mor charkoal pills 1drn what iz th r8 of stumak cancers mung lithos) w uzed th PIRTI (sauna) down x th rivr 150 yrds way. Its a big trdition but not az big az in finl& they tell me. Th PIRTIS here woz made from a metl box seald so az 2 b airtght wth an iron stove set in cemnt wth rocks in it, & th nside lined wth wood wth a bench 2 sit on & a foot bench. Vaidas lit it up @ O 9.30 pm az th rain woz gettn heavier. Then w s@ O ndr th kanopy near th haus whr wev bn livn & eatn (uzin th haus only 2 sleep) while waitn 4 it 2 heat up. W finshd off th Čepkeliu trauktine & th Tre-jos Devynerios (999) (wthout help from Brigita hoo iz a vegtarian) & it woz rainn soldly th O time & Vaidas went back 2 th PIRTI in bare feet (he sually iz) wth wood 2 stoke th stove. 2wards 11.00 w made our mov. W ndrssd in th haus koz thr woz nowhr 2 leav th klothes x th rvr outside th PIRTI bkoz of th rain & wrapt in towls skamprd → windin track (Brigita fell down th steep bit but sh iz yng & kould-

3

nt kare) 2 th PIRTI whch woz HOT (yes, I think th brits & merikns in IRAQ kould konsidr th tekneek klaimn it 2 b 4 kleanliness or dlousn (ie 4 their own good & wthn th permssbl O set x ntrn@nl law) – just put th heat up a littl mor but not much mor koz itd kill thm ) & w lit littl kandls nside & I sor th@ Brigita woz wearn a BIKINI but me, Vaidas & Miglė wer IN THE NUDDY. Then th TORTURE startd az Vaidas kept splashn watr from a tub → th heatd stones ↓ whch th stove woz set. Then it woz sud-dnly much, much hottr & I rmindd thm th@ in th transports 2 SIBERIA it woz th old hoo died 1st but Vaidas nly splashd mor watr → stones az I woz measurin my xakt dstnce 2 th door (evn thgh th PIR-TIS iz tiny) in kase th kandls went out & I had 2 skrambl → dark b4 suffk8n. But I ndured & soon woz sweatn like a PIG koz I sweat a lot evn n@cherly. How long did it take? I dont know but just whn I thght I KOULDNT TAKE IT ANYMOR w rushd out & jumpt → th freezn watr of th Šašuola rivr (xpt it ddnt feel kold @ all koz w wer so super-heatd) 2 wash th sweat off & thn w stood O in th steady rain 2 get (kan hear Tony Mushroom talkn 2 his hors – hes probbly workn th soil) our breath back & kool do-wn a bit b4 w dun it all ovr gain 2 MOR TIMES (me & Vaidas lso dun sum back xrcizes whr u sit on a log raizd a foot off th gO & stick your toes ndr nuthr log @ gO lvl & wth h&s klaspd bhind your neck do sit backs) b4 troopn back → windin track (muddy from mole diggn & I fell ovr x 2) thrgh still heavier rain → haus whr w got drssd & me & Vaidas drank a 50 each of KVIETINĖ DEGTINĖ (vodka firewatr) & he lit th KROSNIS whch heats up a good part of th haus & thr is a sektion whr u kan lie on top of it if u 1t 2 roast (my fathr sez they wer st&rd in village hauses). Th PROCEDURE had takn O an hour & I SURVIVED & felt evn pretty good ftrwds & slept well (s@ in frunt of th opn KROSNIS 4 ½ hour x mys-lf b4 hittn th sack @ 1.30 or so) but m not sure yet if my guts hav bn kured. (Brigita haz made nuthr koffee (milk from Milda) & Vaidas haz kum ovr from his mowin). Whthr nythn iz kured or th skin pors get opnd & kleand out I dont know (thgh th placibo & Hawthorne ffekt iz 4 sure) but in a tiny pirti like this it sure is NTM8 & 4 bettr or 4 worse I m a mmbr of th famly now … (10.30. rain has stoppd; Brig-ita is winchn watr from th well; Vaidas haz gon back 2 mowin wth th LITOVKA) …. AŠ ŠIENAVOJAU (Iv bn mowin & peeln off 1 item of klothin fter nuthr. U get in2 a rhythm. It dont mean a thing if it aint got th@ swing - & mayb Iv got it koz volution may hav favourd th dvelpmnt of a partklular phyzkl type mung th male popl8n of th vllages (Brigita haz just made me a very strong MĖTA (mint from th yard) t whch sh reckns kures verythn – sh haz lots of kure-alls - & an mlett & sausage & lettuce leaf on top of th breakfst I had b4 ŠIENAVOJAU) & now thr is nuthn 4 thos muskls ( & knuklheads) & a lot of em r drinkn thmslvs 2 death or mbcilty in th VIENKIEMIAI, in th KAIMAI, & th SODYBOS sk@rd † th kunt-ryside (typkl sght (bsides th womn karryin 2 buckts of milk balnced on a stick † th shldrs (Vaidas near-ly splashd 1 az w drove past ystrdy evnn whn him, me & Miglė wer goin mushroomn 2 a 4st whch iz gettn trashd x vllagers dumpn their new plastk rubbsh & x llegl kuttn)) iz a guy restn hiz LITOVKA on th gO on th h&l while he iz sharpnn th blade wth th whetstone a ŠIENAUTOJAS lwayz karries in his pockt az he works) (sip). (kan hear th stork on th chmny klackn its beak) (sip) …. KAI ŠIENAUJI (wh-n u iz mowin) u kan get ticks whch r dangerous az they kan karry a virus th@ gets → head (nceph-alitis but th mozzies (they wer HELL in SIBIRAS) here whch r plenful & bitin dont karry it) & O 70 die/year & plenty uthrs r left brain dmaged so sed sum1 sed Brigita. Meanwhile my gettn th shits bug has migr8d → my stumak (I now karry tssues in a pockt (many pockts in my trouzrs 4 wallt & passprts (zip up) etc, but not thos silly 1s on th side of th legs) & whn w wer mushroomn in th gloom & rain I uzed thm very quickly 4 th greensh treakl I staind th floor of th 4st (3/10/04. its only since Iv been back in Melbourne that it has occurred to me I may have been here before if this forest is the same one which is called Pivonijos šilas. I was looking at the map I used for the cover of the ‘Šiauliai’ piece wondering why the name of the forest marked just to the south west of Ukme-rgė had a familiar ring when it dawned on me that there are 3 photos of my mum in our family album taken in a forest of that name at a critical moment of our family history. A few weeks ago she reminded me over the phone of a dream she had in the forest which she still remem-bers vividly. It is certain I carry a trace of it as she was 7 months pregnant with me at the time. It was in June 1941. I assume it is the forest referred to in the Encyclopedia Judaica entry on Ukmergė in the last sentence (c ‘Šiauliai’ p10) where it says “On Sept. 18 1941, the Jews remaining in Ukmerge, together with those of the neighbouring towns, were assembled

4

in the nearby forest and massacred.” The cover map of my ‘Šiauliai’ piece is a summary of where the jews of lithuania were murdered so I suppose the name of the forest was given because it is the site of the four ‘aktionen’ by the Joachim (‘Yaweh prepares’) Hamann Rollkommando mentioned in ‘Jews, Lithuanians and the Holoc-aust’ by Alfonsas Eidintas (c ‘Vilnius (no.1)’ p4). In the dream my mum, a strong swimmer, was swimming across the Nemunas (c cover map of ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’) river with my father (a poor swimmer) & as she was nearing the opposite bank she looked back and saw he was being swept downstream by the current and wouldnt make it. Thats where the dream was ended by the sound of knocking on the door of the dacha deep in the forest called Pivonijos šilas where they were staying at the time. The dacha belonged to the base where my father was stationed in the same forest. Of the week or so that they were there they (I did too!) had spent several days and nights hiding out in the open in the forest itself (fortunately it was summer and didnt rain) during the 3 or so days that people were being rounded up for the first deportation to Siberia. The purpose of the knocking on the door was to order my father back to the base for immediate evacuation eastwards into Russia as OPERATION BARBAROSSA, the German attack on the Soviet Union, had been launched during the night a few hours ear-lier. This took place in the last week of the first Russian occupation of Lithuania in 1940-41. My mother noticed my father shove some items of civilian clothing into his army sausage bag. La-ter at the base he gained valuable hours when he convinced his ‘shadow’ (the POLITRUK ass-igned to him) he needed to find a small truck to carry the photographic equipment he was in charge of as it was too valuable to leave behind. During these hours Andrius Staugaitis (bro-ther of the father of Arūnas Staugaitis (deceased husband of Bronia (says to save myself the cost of mailing (Dennis Spiteri (the opening of whose studio is on November 7) said the identical thing) my pieces to her unless I revert to writing in standard english but whose daughter Gabba remains on my mailing list) who was the dentist who put in the porcelain crown in my left lower jaw which when it fin-ally fell apart was replaced by Doctor Walker in Ivanhoe with the gold one I have now over the original post he had put in. Over the last weeks the new crown has been aching (& I had a couple of abces-ses either side) and tomorrow (9/10/04 but am going on Monday 11/10/04 (11/10/04. rmovd th rginal post & new (1 yr) gold krown & glued up O th krak in th roots & put in a new xtra post & rturnd rginal post & krown & I m washn me mouth wth Listerene & takn Flagyl (Metronidazole) tablts whch means NO LOKOHOL 4 a O week. Thursdy 14/10/04 hell chek how its gon)) Im going to make an appoint-ment to find out whats going on.)) who had been the best man at my parents wedding a year earlier in Šiauliai (me mum duznt know how 2 kkount 4 th fakt sh rmmbrs sh got married in th St Peter & Paul kathdrl (c ‘Šiauliai’ p5) but her weddn certfk8 whch sh got in germny whn sh had no persnl dokos sez sh woz married in a chrch kalld St George whch shes nevr heard of) tried to talk him into a scheme to commandeer their evacuation truck, eject the driver, and drive back west in the direction of the approaching germans. My father considered the proposal seriously but in the end decided to slip away into the forest by himself. Those who went east into Russia were never heard of again. Andrius Staugaitis and his mates did commandeer their truck but the germans arrested them and sent them to Stutthoff Concentration Camp (10/10/04. this was not corroborated by a close relative of Andrius I talked to in the kitchen of litho house today who contrib-uted an unrelated snippet of information however which I found interesting which is that Andrius was in love with my mum at the time) as Soviet P.O.Ws. Andrius survived the camp but died soon after release. I am lucky to be here to tell the story because I was there when it happened.) wth & it may b not all th MĖTA or th charkoal (u get rid of th SHITS 2 get KANCER) in lithol& iz gunna fix it nless I stop eatn mletts & drinkn milk frsh from th kow & drinkn lhokol & eatn f@y meats on rye bre-ad 4 my 1st breakfst but stop eatn verythn & nly drnkn watr 4 24-36 hours whch iz th methd Id mploy in Melbourn & whch if I dont mploy here it may take a week 4 my systm 2 kill th bug (probbly got it whn I 8 a breakfst of strwbrrys (rottn fast koz of th humidty az hav th stackd stooks of hay 4 wintr feed 4 th kows & horses but I bet th sprmrkt shelvs will b full az sual & STUFF th peaznts) whn I rrived x bus in Ukmergė I reckn koz Brigita sed so & u lwayz hav 2 wash thm 1st sh sed) if evr. …. Sor a Ma-žas Erelis (a small

5

aras (eagle) whch iz lso th meann of my name ARŪNAS (th Arūnas I met in Kaun-as hooz dghtr iz a violnst (c ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ p3) woz ntrstd in hoo wer th 1st 1s koz he iz 1 of thm & now it haz bkum a very kommn name & he has found a kupl of thm a bit oldr than him but I m a O year oldr so I pushd him back x 1(3/10/04. I had 4gottn O STAaUrGūAnIaTsIS hoo woz @ least 3 yrs oldr than me) so th@ Arūnas = Erelis) Reksnys (Aquila pomarina) …. → Ukmergė → Siesikai → Žeimei → Deltuva → Kaunas. Its 10.55 pm. (nip) (nip). 2004 birželio 28d. Im in th Metropolis (c ‘Mel-bourne → Kaunas’ p2) gain. I skd 4 room 206 but th bath in it iz not drainn (will b fixd 2day) so I got 306 on th 3rd

floor & it 2 haz a small balkony ovrlookn th street az I had askd 4. U kould step † 2 th nghbrin balkonies if u wer brave so Im keepn th window/door shut while Im out az I m now writin @ a mor kum4tabl tabl in a foyer ٱ on th 2nd floor. 306 iz bettr than 206 az bein hghr its a bit furthr from th noiz of th street. It haz 2 piktures 1 bov each bed whch u kould dskribe az rurl abstrkts, a ‘Lukon’ br& TV whch I think only gets 1 channl & must b very old az its in an mazinly rn8 woodn kasing, & a toilt of a dzgn th@s new 2 me – th outlt iz @ th front nd of th basin ppsit 2 th sual & u krap ↓ a dish size dprssion whr it sits az if 4 nspktion hgh & dry (yes, th charkoal & Brigitas vrious brews did work) ntil u flush it → slightly raizd edge wth a gush of watr from th back ↓→ outlt @ th frunt. I lso shaved & sho-wrd. Ystrdy I h&d ovr a few items of klothin 2 b washd. W left Rimeisei @ 4.00 & drove thrgh Ukm-ergė wstwrds 2 check out @ Vaidases sggstion my fathrs place of orign (TĖVIŠKE). Thr r 3 lok8ns givn in hiz passprt ssued whn he woz a yng man (19 I think so ssued O 1930 but Im writin from mm-ry) & whch I uzed 2 get my litho (& hence EU) passprt since I woznt abl 2 uze my own brth certfik8 bkoz I woz born a year 2 l8 in 41 whn lithol& woz lready kkupied. They r hiz place of rzdence (Žeimei (11/10/04. not 2 b knfuzed wth a town of simlar name : ‘Žeimiai’ 2 th southwest kloser 2 Kėdainiai) but rfrrd 2 az Žeimiu kaimas), hiz brth place (Siesikai) & th region of rzdnce (or ssue of passprt?) (Deltu-vos rajonas). W drove thrgh Deltuva only 8 or so ks out of Ukmergė & I woz struck x th rdrlnss of th town & th well tendd flowr & vegie gardns whr all vailabl ٱ woz uzed 4 kultv8n. Uthr vllages & small towns wer =y tidy but in a lush ovrgrown way whch may b dffrnt, 4 all I know, 2 wstrn urop. Th rolln kuntryside of vvid thick pasture ntrsprsd wth dciduous woods whch probbly ndk8d swampy ٱs lookd richr than th kuntry 2 th east of Ukmergė whr th Birds hav their sodyba. W stoppd @ th genrl stor @ Siesikai & I bought a stubby of beer whch turnd out 2 b in a plastk kontainr whch I knockd ovr & man-aged 2 pour ovr meslf. Vaidas got a towl from th kar & a group kollektd @ th ntrance of th shop (typ-kal of a 1 stor town) jokn wth each uthr & xplainn 2 me thr woz nly 1 haus ownd x a ŽIŽYS in th ٱ & he woz way. I felt @ eaz az if I woz mung simlr peopl I meet in rmote parts of australia. 1 sed th@ in my fathrs days thr would nly hav bn 2 or 3 hauses here (4/10/04. not so : c ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ p6 & ‘Vilnius → Melbourne’). Most hadnt heard of Žeimei thgh it woz nly O 16 ks → x road (mayb nly 10 in a drekt → ). Az w wer drivin thr Vaidas noted th kuntryside woz mor densly settld. W wer nvr out of view of @ least svrl vienkiemiai. I woz thinkn th@ ½ my gentik programmn kame from a lush green kuntry az ppsit az u kould get 2 th kind of l&skapes I favour in australia. I thght my fathr would hav known thes fields & swampy 4sts well az he luvd 2 → O th rurl kuntryside whn I woz a kid & it iz from him th@ I hav nheritd an ntrst 4 naturl dtail. If I had livd here I would hav → evry lane, drainage chan-nl, woodl& till I knew it bettr than any of my nghbrs. I would hav found th hiddn places & th nmals wh-ch find shltr in thm. Žeimei (4/10/04. I had completely forgotten I had been there myself 64 years ago riding about in my 7 months pregnant mothers belly. After my father deserted the soviet army by slipping away into the forest my grandfather Juozapas Žižys arrived at the dacha in Pivonijos šilas (ystrdy rvo I cght up wth Vaidas @ his stall opp th kulturl centr (spottd GEORGE – K-cOoTnZABASIS near x peddln hiz book ‘Unveiling The War Against Terror – Fight Right War Or Lose The Right To Exist’ - © Con George-Kotzabasis. May 9th 2004. ISBN : 0-646-43712-7 whch kan lso b bght @ Readings in Carlton hoo fnally gave me a kmplmntry kopy (c ‘Vilnius (no. 2)’ p9)) & he sed it woz not th same 4st w had bn mushroomn in but it woz no dffrnt in ppearnce. He knows it well az hiz mum kums from near x) by horse and cart and took us to the house in Žeimei. For more detail re-ad the end of the first and the beginning of the second chapters in my mums book ‘Elena’s Journey’ x Helen Jonaitis © Text 1997 ISBN 1-875847-50-2 which I think is still in print.) woz a dsppointmnt. Th rginal KAIMAS woz dstroyd whn th peat diggns wer opnd & th haus my fathr had paintd in watr kolo-

6

urs from a foto & rmmbrd wth a wordless yearnn whch evn az a turblnt yth prkkupied wth my own ntnsties I lwayz sensd iz gon. Th dsertd peat diggngs wer turnd in2 fish breedng ponds & l8r in2 4st. W had stoppd so I kould ask an old kodger on a bike if he knew of any ŽIŽIAI (plural of ŽIŽYS) in th town (ugly soviet style 2 or 3 (kant rmmbr az I woz in a bit of a fog) story ٱٱ of units) & he sed thr wer 4 or so famlies x th name & x th time w had bght a beer @ th rgl8n stor/bar O th kornr an Albertas ŽIŽYS had m@rialized. I rmarkd th@ w had th same ntials (A Ž) & shook his h& @ least x 3 while he woz tryin 2 talk us in2 vzitn hiz mum hoo knew th ŽIŽIAI hoo had gon 2 KAUNAS bkoz he & his mum livd drektly † (thr had bn a large † in front of th haus my fathr had paintd) ← whr their haus had bn. Vaidas was keen 2 → & it would hav bn a waste of time 2 just barge in 4 10 minuts & what kould an old womn say O my relos th@ would hav ntrstd me so w → but not b4 Albertas ŽIŽYS kalld out 2 us 2 ask 4 1½ Lt. Since I woz in a fog & th 1st koin whch kame 2 h& woz 5 Lt I gave it 2 him. He probbly knew I wldnt b back & x askn 4 th muny nsured it. Our xchange iz dquatly dskribed x th numbrs nvol-vd. W drove thrgh Deltuva gain whr w sor th shell of a brick chrch wth a stork (my fathr had nevr mnt-iond storks but th dstrikt iz full of thm. Kkordn 2 BORGES th KORAN duznt mntion KAMLS (but th bibl sez sumthn O a kaml & th eye of a needl) 1ce) on a nest on th wall & th nterior whch woz opn 2 th sky woz full of flowrs. I got my kamra out 4 th 1st time & Brigita took a few pktures of me (stubby in h&) & Vaidas (hoo sed it waz like a scene ← a Tarkovski film) in head hgh flowrn grasss ntil a rain storm se-nt us runnn → kar & w drove → KAUNAS wthout furthr stops …. 1drd O in th mrkt x th main railway st8n. Gypsy womn wer selln cigretts & I heard a guy sk 1 whr 2 get a mobile fone. I listnd 2 thm talkn tryin 2 guage th muzik of th lnguage but kouldnt stay az they montor very1. Had 1 of my s&ls fixt 4 3 Lt. Rang Juozas & Egle (his dghtr) but neithr fone nswrd. Ftr Vilnius Im chrchd out. I hav not viztd a singl mzeum voluntry since Iv bn in litho – I hav no ntrst in how peopl strukture their past (4/10/04. az my nkln8n iz 2 d-knstrukt (11/10/04. 2daze ‘Age’ (p8) rports th death of JACQUES DERRIDA from pankreatik kancr @ th age of 74. Kkordn 2 th rtkl he “ … argued that the traditional way we read texts makes a num-ber of false assumptions and that they have multiple meanings that even their authors may not have understood. His thinking gave rise to the school of deconstruction, a method of analysis that has been applied to literature, linguistics, philosophy, law and architecture … but was described by critics as nihilistic … he sought to find the free movement which lies at the root of all thinking … unavoidable tensions between the ideals of clarity and coherence that govern philosophy. He was seen as the inheritor of “anti-philosophy” … with predecessors such as Sigmund Freud, Friedrich Nietzsche and Martin Heidegger.”)). 8 dlcious kbbage rolls wth spuds & follwd up wth fried bread su česnakais (wth kloves of grlk) while drnkn 2 mažus (littl ie 300 mls) of red beer 4 15 Lt. Th ssue of whch beggrs 2 giv muny 2 (luminium (ie 1c, 2c, 5c ) koins hav 2 b givn way koz theyr a nuisance & az good az worthlss; I giv b4 I hav a meal 2 aid me dgestion) iz lwayz prznt. Sum get O it x don8n (eg 10%) 2 a rptabl charty whch makes dskrmn8ns based on need but th@ takes away th rquiremnt 4 u 2 dskrmn8 (whch iz diffkult) or evn notice th needy in th streets. X rektn barriers u kontrbute 2 th problm. Prhaps whn w giv w gain mor than they. Sor brown squirrls in th park & they wer tiny. I rmmbr how thrilld I woz whn I sor thm az a kid in germny. (nip) Čepkeliu trauktynė iz great. (nip). M cng mor of th features (Hitler knew Stalin woznt jwsh from th lobes of his ears) of litho peopl I know in Melbourn xmplfied here in Kaunas than I did in Vilnius whch makes sens az most litho migrnts 2 oz kame from here. Jesus its a good drop. 5.40. M O 2 take a SIESTA ….2004 birželio 29d. Just az I woz droppn off Vaidas knockd on th door. He wantd me 2 meet rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs hoo iz nvolvd in all kinds of xprimntl rts ktivties. Vaidas had bn doin th Os of th bars since th mornn whn he had missd me bkoz I woz out gettn th shoe fixd. W went from bar → bar. A lokoholik (fine rtst sum1 sed; sum1 ls threw a packt of fags 4 him; he sed Mallarmé woz hiz hero; he nevr bought; I skd hiz age bkoz it dawnd on me he mghtnt b much oldr than me – he iz 61 (I had misheard. Vaidas sez he iz 41 & on drugs 2)) @achd hmslf 2 us then w met him in nuthr bar & he dun it gain. Vaidas pulld out a bottl of BRENDIS ALITA ← hiz leathr day pack. Brigita rrived. rE-aIiMmOuNnTdAaSs woz talkn non-stop az he iz permnntly hyper. SAMAGONA = SAM GANYT (rus-sian spelt in litho fonetik) = SAU VARYT (in litho) = HOME BREW (nglsh). Raimundas had bn on a

7

book x-ng spree : 1 woz a volume of Van Gogs lttrs in russian, nuthr woz John Cage trnsl8d→ litho x a friend of hiz. Hiz nswrs r nstnt but I dont know if he hears. He jstkul8s. My eyes kept klozin & I 1td 2 put me head down on th tabl like they sed they used 2 do in their service dayz in th soviet rmy whr they wer lwayz DEAD TIRED. Th rtst bar scene iz not 4 me. @ O 2.30 am Vaidas → me back → Vil-nius st → Laisvės Alėja → bed wth th help of a temazepam 10mg pill but I nly slept a few hours. This mornn they chrged me 16 Lt 4 fone kalls evn thgh I hadnt got thrgh 2 ny1. It kosts here if u konnkt 2 a mobile & then mor if u hang on evn whn thr iz no nswr. Th charge 4 me laundry (t-shirt, long daks, fla-nno, socks (1 red 1 purpl), ndrpnts ) woz 30 Lt. I sed I kould hav bought it 4 less @ th mrkt. I dont want thm 2 think I M A STUPID AUSTRALIAN & rch. Vaidas & Brigita r pickn me up @ 12 → Nida whch iz a 4 hour drive in hiz dads klappd out kar (no kaps on th battry so Vaidas karvd woodn 1s) but ftr sayn good x 2 me last nght he went ← bar …. 11.45. read th ppr (Lietuvos Rytas) in a bar whr th srvietts wer rranged in th tri-kolor of th litho flag ovr koffee & šaltibarsčiai (borsch) wth spuds (kan he-ar thundr) @ a totl price of 2.5 Lt + 2.5 Lt = 5 Lt. A 22 year old guy stole kars 2 get back → prizn TB klinik. In iran a womn (mn iz mor poltklly krrekt than man) gave brth 2 a frog (woz th fathr a prince?) (rainn) …. 12.00 (mdnght). Im in Preila on Neringa, th most wstrn spot in lithol& (nip) in th rmains of what used 2 b a rest/holday home in soviet times. Verythn lmost duznt work & sum things kompletely dont. Im payn 15 Lt / nght & from thursdy 20 Lt till s@dy then Im goin 2 hav 2 find new kkomd8n az I reckn Ill spend 1½ weeks here & go back 2 Kaunas on a boat ↑ th rvr whch leavs Nida (6ks south) on sundys @ 1.15 pm. → short stroll on th konkret 4shor of th Kuršiu Marios & its just like wintr in Melb-ourn but its beautful. Im ichn 2 do a lot of → & th journl ntries may hav 2 take 2nd place. Goodnght. 2004 birželio 30 d. 7.30 am. I cght meslf thinkn in litho this mornn. Ystrdy evnn w 8 th quivlnt of what in oz would b a fsh n chip meal @ a seaside rzort. Th fsh iz KARŠIS & u x it eithr karšto rūkimo (hot smoked whch iz dun ovr a short time & iz tastier but haz 2 b eatn on th day) or šalto rūkimo (smoked kold & hence 4 longr & mor salt uzed but kan b eatn ovr a week) @ any of O 20 outlts (Vaidas sez) & it iz best washd down wth beer. I m writn @ a rottd out (so I will b karryin my passprts & wallt wth me @ all times) wndow whch swvls opn so I kan step out → grass & th 4shor O 15 yards way. I kan c a fshn boat/trawlr whch is probbly fshn 4 KARŠIS, many cgulls of rdnry white hedd varieties not nlike th 1s u c in Melbourn, & a Pilkasis Garnys (Ardea cinerea) whch is a large heron. Earlier w had kalld in on JOvNiUtŠaIlEiNaĖ 2 tell her I had found a place 2 stay & rranged 4 me 2 kum O @ 6 pm thursdy. I xplaind it haz bn my prktice whr possbl not 2 stay wth rl@vs. Went ↑stairs of their very beautful haus full of rt work dun x her husb& Eduardas hoo woz lyin in bed watchn telly (probbly th sokkr az th cha-mpionshps r on) & bviously prfoundly dprssd. W hardly xchanged a word. Durin th rvo w had drivn 2 NERINGA (th s&spit ٱ; all thes rzort towns wer germn b4 th war; russian bordr iz nly a few ks south of NIDA) via VILKYŠKIAI on the Nemunas whr w 8 a meal on th vr&ah of a pub @ rdiklously low pri-ces 4 great food. I 8 blyneliai su mėsa AKA lietiniai su mėsa AKA naliesnikai su mėsa (but this term iz no longr uzed az its of RUSSIAN rigin) AKA meat filld flour pankakes (4/10/04. 8 them @ litho haus in Errol st Nth Melb ystrdy & they wer just az good but kost $7). Th weathr woz kold & wet but th kunt-ryside woz lush & beautful & I sor no sgns from th wndow of th kar of srious povty or any of th uthr problms I hav writtn O. Prhaps from a dstance they dsppear. Vaidas woz 2 tired 2 try 2 xplain what PIŽONAS & PIŽONIŠKAI means & Brigita ddnt do a very good job of xplainn MIESČIONIS & MIES-ČIONIŠKAI. Both r pjor@vs dskribin nkool peopl & krass bhaviour. I m goin 2 hav a look O. (8.30 am). 4got 2 mntion th@ 2 get → ٱ w had 2 take a ferry ← KLAIPĖDA (probbly lithos 3rd largest town & nly port ; 4mly MEMEL) @ a kost of 35 Lt & then pay a furthr 15 Lt 2 get → th spit ٱ whch knssts of 4 main towns : Juodkrantė, Pervalka, Preila, & Nida spread ovr a dstance of O 40 ks long a spit I mu-st → start xplorn …. It took ovr 2 hours 2 → nearst part of Nida & I ddnt meet ny1 long th way thgh I kan tell many do th →. I felt az if I woz bhavn natrlly lmost az if I woz in oz. Th basik struktures : s&, rozion, layrn of vegt8n r th same. Evn th pine thckts rmindd me of st&s of calitris pine in th Flinders Ranges. Sor a swan (Gulbė Nebylė (Cygnus olor)) (th ozzie black swan (Cygnus atratus) whch haz gon ferl in sevrl kuntries in urop haz bn sghtd in lithol&) wth 5 cygnets. Nida iz full of germn 2rsts & they look just like ozzies 2 me. I praktisd @ pickn lithos from germns & m bkumn pretty good @ it. X kmparisn th lithos (esp th guys) look like BALVONAI (I heard Vaidas uze it th uthr day & realized Iv

8

had it stord in my mmry bank since chldhood). Basiklly it means wkward or what ozzies mean whn they say DRONGO (a good word probbly rarely uzed now havn bn rplaced x such merikan words az DICKHEAD). Kame † th haus Thomas Mann ownd & spnt a few summrs writn in whch is now RAŠY-TOJO THOMO MANNO MEMORIALINIS MUZIEJUS. I made n xeption 2 my norml rule of voidn mz-eums & went in but ddnt pay. It woz pparnt 2 me th litho girl takin ntry fees would not sk me 2 nless I ffrd. Gave my last 2 pieces of writin 2 1 of th mzeum staff I got talkn 2 ↑stairs. Sh had mountd an xh-ibition titld ‘Sugrižimas iš egsodo – Thomo Manno amžininkai’ AKA ‘Heinskehr aus dem Exil – Zeit-gefahrten Thomas Manns’ AKA ‘Return from Exile - Thomas Mann’s Contemporaries’. I giv th names (wch wer wth fotos & outlines of their lives) whch featurd 4 th bneft of wSaTlRtUeVrE hoo may wish 2 dlete sum or + uthrs 2 th list : Alfred Kantorowicz (1899-1979), Bertold Brecht (1998-1956), Erwin Piscator (1893-1966), Egon Erwin Kisch (1885-1948), Johannes R. Becher (1891-1958), Berthold Viertel (1885-1953), Anna Seghers (1900-1983), Wolfgang Langhoff (1901-1966), Hanns Eisler (18-98-1962), Alfred Doblin (1878-1957), Arnold Zweig (1887-1968), Theodor W(iesengrund) Adorno (1903-1969). (nip) I notice th@ th Čepkeliu really keeps u goin. I bght a meal of fried fsh wth mushrm (real 1s not the stuff they kall mushrm sauce in oz) sauce & vgies @ a govt VALGYKLA (left ovrs from th soviet system) & it woz dlicious @ 6 Lt. Bght a beer @ th pub x th shor & az I left th waitr sed GERA DIENA (goodday) very quietly ndr hiz breath az if 2 kknowledge a tribal soldarity. Did a set walk → dunes. Az I pproachd th hghst 1 it kkurd 2 me (I had bn dstraktd x tryin 2 c if thr wer any mar-krs in th dstance 4 th russian bordr) I woz O 2 c th BALTIK (its why w wer kalld BALTS whn w kame 2 oz in 41 & why th beer I hav bn drnkn here iz kalld BALTIKA) C 4 th 1st time (nevr cn th ATLANTIK) in me life. I got a bit xited O th@ & whn I got 2 it a few ks furthr on I drew me h&s thrgh th watr & nno-intd me eylids & lips. Back @ th watrside pub in Nida I s@ nxt 2 a tabl (I woz writn sum notes, lookn out @ th watrs of th Kuršiu Marios (8/10/04. c middl left of kuvr map), drinkn a maža (& then nuthr) of BALTIJOS ) whr a litho pro (LYTINĖS PASLAUGOS) woz pickn up what woz probbly (I m guessn) a swedsh 2rst. He woz glown in a sk&navian sort of way & makn rdiklous small talk while sh smiled etc. but her eyes wer nxious 4 hm 2 hurry up & make a mov. Sh touchd hiz h& sevrl times but he kept bur-bbln on in a shy/nice sort of way 4 such a big guy. Sh woz small & had a kold sor on her lip. They wer talkn in labourd nglsh but sh talkd 2 th waitrss in litho & sh lso talkd in litho on her mobile & I heard her say sh woz havn a good day. Sh soundd az if sh woz talkn 2 a girlfriend but whn th gallnt (whn they wer leavn he got up 1st & held her leathr jackt 4 her 2 put on) sk&navian hoo had just kum back from th toilette skd hoo woz On sh sed sh woz talkn 2 her doktor. He lookd a bit sprized. It woz bvious 2 me sh ddnt realize I ndrstood litho pickn me 4 a 4gn 2rst but whn they wer leavn & I glanced @ her sh smiled broadly & muttrd GERA DIENA az sh passd me. How did sh know? Mayb pros r good @ pickn phyzkl types or mayb sh had heard me talkn 2 th waitrss. I 1drd O Nida bkoz I had a kupl of ho-urs spare b4 th bus 4 Klaipėda (MEMEL) (8/10/04. sum weeks l8r I read in th ppr th@ a madam had bn rrestd thr 4 supplyin hgh klass, multilingual pros all of hoom wer kollej students 2 4gn bizness men & dlg8s @ 500 + Lt / go) whch would drop me off @ Preila left @ 7.00. Found a cemtry (u would luv it ,honey) whr thr wer many xmpls of th ncient woodn karvns th@ th lokl lithos used 2 put @ th foot of a gravesite. Thes r beautful symbolik dzigns of horses, birds etc karvd out of wood. Th earliest dzign iz ovr 730 yrs old. A notice sez th cemtry woz rstord in 1975 & th persn rsponsbl 4 th work iz eJdOuN-aUrŠdAaSs hoom I had found in bed in a st8 of prfound dprssion ystrdy evnn & hoom Ill b viztn gain 2morrow. Th chrch near x is dkor8d wth wood karvns I rkognized 2 b hiz. Then I 8 a t of šaltibarsčiai (2.50 Lt) & l8r bght a kupl of small smoked fsh 2 eat in th h& b4 c@chn th bus. Th 2 broads (they r a pair of BRICKS!) hoo look ftr th place just → past th wndow. I think they liv on th prmises. They spend their time watchn telly. 1 of thm lent me a needl & thread whch Brigita uzed 2 sew on a buttn (8/10-/04. That’s pathetic! Why can’t a man sew on his own button? Is it so complic-ated that only a woman can do it?- Helh&z) whch woz kumn loose on me shirt. Its bn freezn all day. (nip) …. 2004 liepos 1 d (thursdy) Th sentnce whch kept kumn 2 me thrght th nght woz I M NOWHERE (NIEKUR). Thr iz a pome on th word x Gunter Eich (6/10/04. I woz mstakn. LfO-rVaEnCkE rtrievd it 2day; it iz titld ‘IECUR’ & iz O th livr, mayb. Mmry!) I kept thinkn of th film ‘Death in Venice’. I think it iz based on a book x Thomas Mann (I havnt read nythin of hiz or x any of th au-

9

thrs I listd ystrdy). SdPeInTnEiRsI showd me a video of it thgh I ddnt pay much @ntion. A germn writr iz trappd in Venice x th outbreak of plague & I m in Preila. Peopl kum here 2 get way ← their rdnary lives (main purpose of 2rst rzorts?). It katers 2 germns, lithos & swedes & iz nlike any of th places they kum ←. I realized durin th nght th@ Iv bn NOWHER th O munth Iv bn in lithol&. W dvelop habts (very1 iz w@chn sokkr) O whch w stabilize our lives & r@ionalize thm wth hgh soundn deologies. But nun of my habts wer 4md here az I woz only 3 whn I left. What I rtaind nstead wer my parnts y-earnns 4 their yth. I spent mor time in DP kamps & its whr all but 1 of my earliest mmries r fr-om. My habts wer 4md in australia. Why m I in this dlapid8d (very feature of it iz shonky & th O iz byond rpair whch iz why it iz bein llowd 2 dsntegr8 ndr th bord suprvsion of karetakers hoo thmslvz r dsntegr8n remnnts of th systm) soviet era buildn nstead of wth H & th kids O hoom my life haz takn shape & hoo lov me? Why m I not in Hs rms? I hav not had th kinds of ‘roots’ xpriences rportd x uthrs hoo hav rturnd. Nstead it haz bn mphathized 2 me th@ I st& 2 th side (az if I ddnt lready know) obzr-vn & passn kommnt on thos hoo r SOMWHER (eithr x choice or trappd but lwayz blievn th lnguage of it). But like th writr in Venice I kant leav az my rturn flght is not till th nd of th munth. Last nght az I woz O 2 go 2 bed Brigita & Miglė → past th wndow & w went ↑ 2 thr room whr w 8 th food & drank th t wh-ch Brigita lwayz haz on h&. Vaidas sez Romas (hoo pikd us up in Riga (c ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ p2) blew up th ngin of his kar nly 50 ks out of Kaunas on th way 2 an mportnt mrkt / festvl in norway. It woz packd wth items (he iz a ceramicist) he needd 2 sell. He woz not abl 2 get a rfund on th ferry fr-om Klaipėda 2 norway whch he had bookd in dvance. Th only + iz th@ if it had brokn down in norway th rpair kosts would hav bn > th value of th kar & he would hav had 2 leav it. Here hll get it back on th road. Vaidas reckns this iz th story of lithuanians & llustr8d it wth various kkounts of his own selln trips → Berlin & such. I kame back @ mdnght but doubt if I slept > a few hours. But thr iz lght on th horizon – th sky iz blue 4 a change …. Urvinė Antis (Tadorna tadorna) iz a very showy large duck like an oz shellduck. Nly a few duzn breed in th kuntry, mostly x th cside. Thr iz a pair of thm on th 4shor wth a dnzn ducklns. Ystrdy I sor a Kuoduotoji zylė (Parus cristatus) a tiny krestd bird whch iz 1 of th most frequent birds in pine/fir 4sts …. 2004 Liepos 2 d. Ystrdy evnn I 8 & drank wth eJdOuNaUrŠdAaSs & JOvNiUtŠaIlEiNaĖ th sstr of JOrNiAmIaTsIS. Th@ woz in th evnn in Nida then I cght a bus ← Preila, talkd 2 th Birds 4 a while, took Temazepam (10mg) & Valium (5mg) & fnally got a bit of sleep. Its 9 am. Earlier in th day I sor Raganu Kalna (Witches Hill) in Juodkrantė. Its a gr8 2rst @raction but 2day Im hurryin this ntry koz I want 2 → O in th evn gr8r 4st th@ its in az its th nly old growth 4st on th Co-uronian penisula (@ least on th litho side of it). Its xtrordnry beautful but it will b wet az th rain set in ystrdy rvo & kntinued thrgh th nght. Its kloudy now & no doubt kold but @ least not rainn. 4 lunch ys-trdy w 8 KARŠIS (BRACHSEN in germn; LIEŠČ in russian spelt in litho fonetik) on ppr spread out on th c wall. W washd it down wth Švyturys (0.5 ltr) beer whch haz a bottl top in litho trkolor wth th words “Mus vienija alus ir pergalės!” (w r united x beer & viktories!) writ O th edge of it & th 5 O olympik symbl in th middl (5/10/04. whch I kllektd 2 h& out 2 friends in Melbourn az mmntoes of th trip on me rturn). Flags r verywhr in lithol&. They dvrtize whch group u blong 2 or they @mpt 2 rkruit or ntmid8. They r not 4 me & I kant liv klose 2 blievrs bkoz my nkln8n iz 2 st& 2 th side of groups. Flag peopl mstrust me & uthr fence sittrs. But in SIBERIA lithos srvived bettr than sum uthrs bkoz they networkd. Ryczard Kapuchinski sez in afrika u dont srvive if u r not in a tribe (11/10/04. My krtc-izm of trblzm iz a r@ionlz8n of a persnl inkln8n. I hav no right 2 krtcize it in uthrs. It iz like tellin sheep 2 stop bleetn 2gethr or 2 b&n their flokn nstnkt. & sppose u konvince 1 2 hang out x itslf in th skrub & th@ts th 1 the wolf getz?) az th nly reazn uthrs dont @ack u & steal verythn youv got iz bkoz they kn-ow your tribe will pay thm back in kind! L8r me & Vaidas bght sum smokd (I woz wrong O th 20 smok-ehauses. Thr must b a 100 or so in opr8n) STRIMĖLES (SALAKA in litho fonetik russian; OSTSEE-HERING in germn) & mor Švyturys wth th trkolor bottl kaps az I m kollektn thm az souvnrs. Th strim-ėles r th most dlcious of th 3 kinds of smoked fsh Iv eatn so far. Ystrdy I 8 smoked EŠERYS (BARCH in germn; OKUN in litho fonetik russian; RED FIN in ozzie nglsh). I m off az Iv got 2 check if th bus 4 Juodkrantė leavs @ 10. I m takin th bird book….Yes! its kold & wet. Th bus duznt leav til 10.15. I woz givn a book (5/10/04. don8d it → litho libery last sundy) x Vitalia th@ woz writtn x Eduardas (5/10/04. th piktur of th boat on th frunt kuvr map of this piece iz of th 1 he built & still owns) b4 he had th stro-

10

ke. It iz titld ‘Likimo Spastuose / Sapnu ir tikrovės variacijos’. © Eduardas Jonušas / © Pratarme, Aldona Žemaitytė / © Aidai, 2002 / ISBN 9955-445-52-2 / Knygos leidima parėmė LR Kultūros minis-terija ir Neringos miesto savivaldybė. Th book woz writtn b4 Eduardas (5/10/04. c ‘Vilnius (no. 2)’ p1) had th stroke whch parlyzed him down 1 side & haz turnd him in2 a big drinkr. Th titl ronikly transl8s az : ‘Trapped by Fate / Variations of reality and dreams’. Th book woznt publshd till ftr th stroke so Ill hav 2 find out whn th titl woz chozen…. 4got 2 mntion th@ it emerged last nght th@ JOvNiUtŠaIlEiN-aĖ iz th drektor of th TOMO MANNO HAUS & had lready cn th writn I had givn 2 her 2 sbordn8s th prvious day but sh kouldnt ndrst& it az her uthr lnguages r germn & russian nly. Sum birds. Th komm-nst duck I m cing iz Didžioji Antis (Anas Platyrhnchos). Sor an Ausuotasis Kragas (Podiceps cris-tatus) a kind of grebe. In th 4st dntified a Kikilis (Fringilla coelers) & viztd th huge kolny of th Didysis Kormorantas (Phalacrocorax carbo (11/10/04. th same large black bird known az the Great Corm-orant in oz)). I had cn knstnt 4m8ns of thm ystrdy flyng † th c → 4st & mstakn thm 4 mgr8n geese. They nest in pine trees & much az th flyin foxs of Melbourn r dstroyn valuabl trees xept mor so. Th kolny stretchs in a O ovr a klomtr & many trees (of th old 4st) r dead. They wer ntrjuiced ← stonia & r h8d x fishrmn koz they kompet wth thm 4 fsh. Whn I woz → thrgh th beautful (a word hoos meann iz very dffklt 2 learn from th kontxt it iz uzed in az ntirely nrl8d thngs (eg womn, flowrs, 4sts, paintns) r dskribed x it so th ssue is not what it iz az thr iz no such anmal but what str@egy I m tryin 2 ffekt wth u whn Im uzin it) 4st O th Hill of Witches (I → 2 th Baltik gain & found it trashd – a knsquence of th new knsumrzm) I sor a deer (thr r lso elk & boar), a brown squirrl, th rmains of what I ntrprtd az a partzan hideout, & dpressions & holes in th gO whch I think must hav bn kausd x bombs & large rtllry xplosions durin & ftr th 2nd war. Th 4st woz mazin & I woz prayn & kryin mor than I hav in any chrch. It bkame pparnt 2 me th@ th karvns on th Hill of Witchs, howvr nspired (its az mprssiv a 2rst item az I hav cn), hav +d 0 2 its beauty & th 2rsts spoil it x uzin th littl tracks off th main 1 2 SHIT in it. A kraktristik of th towns of th Kuršiu nerija (th Curonian Spit ; Kurische Nehrung) r th dome shap-ed stax of wood O 3 metrs in diamtr & ovr 10 ft hgh.They r verywhr not nly bkoz a lot of wood iz nee-dd 2 smoke th fsh but lso 2 heat th hauses bkoz its bloody kold here – in wintr th marios (nl& c) freez ovr & th fshrmn drill holes in th ice 2 drop their lines in. Sum konasewers konsdr it 2 b th finest 4m of fshn of all….2004 Liepos 2d. I m leavn th buildn whr th nly hot watr th@ still opr8s iz nxt 2 th kare-takrs room whr I had a showr ystrdy & whr th watr barely drains ↓ so u kant hav a long 1 bkoz it will flow ↓ floor whch I made wet nyway koz th O holdn th showr kurtain had bustd earlier in th day ; whr very lock works uniquely & so u hav 2 press your shouldr ↓ door or pull it ← yourslf or ↑ or press ↓ & know xaktly how far 2 put th key → & whch side ↑ ; whr th flush in my toilt iz very small & then fills wth a komplik8d muzikl trikl th@ goes on 4 10 mins ; whr th sound proofn iz non-xistnt & th sounds r aktu-ally mplified (a group is kumn in 2day) ; whr th door c@ch is nstalld ← → so if u kloze th door & opn th wndow th breez blows it opn ; whr th watr in my washbasin (or from th drainage hole) stinks ; whr all th switchs work rr@tkly & th 1 2 my room lght haz 2 b kept in place wth sticky tape (I hav sum 2 stick stuff → th journl wth) ;whr all th m@erials uzed in th buildn r of th bslute poorst qualty & wer put 2gethr (kkordn 2 Vaidas) x workmn hoo wer nevr sober ; whr u pay 15 Lt / day 2 b rght on th 4shor & whr th sun iz shinin brght @ last (8.35 am). Th POILSIO NAMAI (rest or rlax8n ppartmnts) r a featur of all th 4 towns of th Curonian Spit & r bein left 2 rot away (thgh rl@vly rcntly built) bkoz they kannot b rnov8d. Th Birds (Žvirblis = Passer domesticus = sparrow) hav gon 2 Palanga 2 th Osale ambr mrkt 2 stock up 4 their gallry in Melbourn & will b in Kaunas tuesdy & Brigita & Miglė → Melbourn ← Vilnius on wdnsdy. Brigita haz dun a fine job nsurin I stay healthy wth many herb ts & @ least kkas-ionl vegies. But last nght @ th tiny bar on th 4shor a few 00 yrds way I 8 potato pankakes fried in heaps of oil & STRIMĖLES & w shared a smoked UOTAS (STEINBUTT in germn; KALKAN in litho fonetik rus) th 4th variety of fsh I hav tried & it woz good. W washd it down wth beer & me & Vaidas had nuthr, thn nuthr, & then nuthr gain az w w@chd th moon rize huge ovr th watr & it woz gettn free-zn kold & w kame back → rtainn wall whr I sed good x 2 Brigita & Migle but not 2 Vaidas hoom I ntnd 2 meet on wdnsdy @ th VIENKIEMIS near Ukmergė whr th ŠIENAPIUTĖ (mowin) is still nkomplet. I m spndn th nght in a kabn @ th back of th Jonušas haus (they hav offrd it 2 us nxt year shld w want 2 spnd a kupl of weeks here) in Nida & 2morrow m goin x boat up th Nemunas (Niemen) 2 Kaunas whr

11

I hope 2 book → Metropolis 4 3 nghts. 4got 2 mntion ystrdy th@ in th 4st I sor a Juodasis Strazdas (Turdus merula) whch I lso c in my yard in Ivanhoe, Melbourn whr it iz known as a blackbird …. I shld hav mntiond th@ az w s@ drinkn in th dark a guy th Birds rkognized kame 2 our tabl. Hiz name iz DŽeElŽiUgLiSuKsIS & I hav mntiond him in th 1st piece I put out this year (c ‘16/2/04 – 27/2/04’ p8). Iz it a KOINCIDENCE? B4 I left my room I 1td 2 slick me hair down in front of th mirrr but th lght in th showr room haz stoppd workn. Th bus 4 Nida leavs @ 10.55 not 10 az I had thght. Tried 2 uze th nly publk fon in Preila 2 book a room @ th Metropolis but its out of ordr. … Nuthr thing I 4got 2 mntion woz th@ th nght b4 ystrdy Eduardas had nstig8d a dskussion O what vriety of vegtabl he had bkum. He nomn8d a spud az bein a good veg but I sggstd it would hav 2 b a spud whch talks & writes. From 2days Lietuvos Rytas : “Vienos poros sugeba kartu išgyventi pačia didžiausia palaima teikianti orgazma, o kitos –ne.// Iš moters krūtinės išsiveržes gilus atodūsis “Koks tu nuostabus” dažnai gali būti tiktai apgaulingas ženklas vyrui nutraukti meilės žaidimus. // Dėl fiziologiniu savybiu moteris patiria orgazma beveik visada vėliau nei vyras. // Moterys sušunka “O taip, brang-usis!” nors iš tikruju viskas, ka jos nori pasakyti yra – “Del Dievo meilės, paskubėk.” // Yra tokiu moteru, kurioms ilgas lytinis aktas atrodo skausmingas, varginantis ir nuobodus. // Nenorėdamos nuvilti mylimojo, keturios iš dešimties moteru ryžtasi suvaidinti orgazma bei nuslėpti, kad nepatiria šios būsenos. // Psichologu teigimu, noras būti mandagiai ir apsaugoti vyru jausmus verčia moteris suvaidinti orgazma.” Kouldnt get a rzrv8n @ th Metropolis but got a B&B @ 80 Lt /p in Kumeliu g. 15-4 in th senamiestis itslf (5/10/04 c kuvr map of ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ top left side). Th boat trip takes 6-7 hours. Sent kards 2 mum, H (hoo iz in Townsville 4 nuthr week), & LfOrVaEnCkE. Th kard features th NIDA-KURŠIS (a boat (5/10/04. c pik on kuvr map) built in th style th@ woz 1ce kommn on th marios (Curonian c)) whch was built x eJdOuNaUrŠdAaSs hoom I kan hear talkn in th yard now. He talks a lot. Furthr nquiry rveals th@ th book ‘Likimo Spastuose’ (‘Trapped x F8’) woz writtn & publshd undr th titl b4 Eduardas had th stroke. Th titl woz chozen x th edtor in prfrnce 2 th titl ‘Šuva taip pat Žmog-us’ (‘Dogs r lso Peopl’) x whch titl it had bn pblshd in germn (chozen x th germn edtor bkoz of an nci-dnt th@ took place @ a BBQ in th yard of ths haus). Its 5.55 & Im goin outside 4 th BBQ litho style (@ least Neringa style whch JOvNUtŠaIlEiNaĖ sez iz nuthn like th rest of lithol& & sh iz rght) … H sez if u kant say sumthn good dont say nuthn. I kan say sumthn good : thr iz a hero in this houshold & its Vitalia. I will b leavn it 2morrow wth nrmous rspekt 4 her. Th xampl sh givs iz of grace ndr pressu-re. I wsh hr well. & here is sumthn 4 SwTaRlUtVeEr : liuRdĖvZiAkas, th 1st kollektr of litho folk songs woz born near Preila (thr iz a mmorial 2 him @ th lokl cemtry & a PAMINKLAS in Juokdrantė) & GOE-THE uzed 1 of thm in a play. Herder (6/10/04. LIBRERIA HERDER of Piazza Montecitorio 120,000-186 Rome haz publshd a skolrly rtkl x DIaCnAdSrTeRaO (9/10/04. hes xplaind 2 me th@ ‘LIBRERIA’ in talian iz just a bookshop (whr kopies kan b got)) kalld ‘East and West’ whch Iv got a kopy of az he gave it → me) woz a great fan of th songs he got from Rėza & I sppose they knew each uthr az they wer probbly both proffs @ th Koningsberg uni @ th same time. Sleep well darling. 2004 Liepos 3d. Th praktice of givn each uthr small gifts on 1st meetn or whn u meet ftr a long bsence iz huge in lithol& & Iv bn tryin hard 2 rzist it. Ftr Eduardas, me, & a very kind friend of hiz hoo duz a lot of fxit work O th place fnshd th bottl of Čepkeliu I had brght (wth nly a littl help from Vitalia) nuthr friend of Eduardas lready nly partially kohernt rrived. & then left & kame back wth a bottl of Trejos Devynerios (999). L8r he left & kame back wth a prznt of 2 pieces of what he kalld kolourd ambr. Thes r a fusion of diffrnt kolourd glass whch he makes 2 look like a kind of JEWEL 2 b placed gainst a wndow so they c@ch th lght. I dtektd th@ he woz a bit sprized x my lack of bvious nthuziazm but I woznt goin 2 xplain th w8 prolbm I hav wth my suitkase & th@ glass whch lso haz 2 b prtektd from sh@rn iz th vry worst thing 2 giv me. I m knfuzed x th praktice & bein a spoilt ozzie thr iz 0 I want 2 b givn uthr than peopls kumpny. I meslf, of kourse, giv way my writtn pieces all th time whthr peopl want thm or not. I m leavn a kopy of ‘clocks ticked on’ & n mpty ½ bottl of Čepkeliu (6/10/04. l8r I dskuvrd I had lso n+vrtntly left my plastk piss bottl (7/10/04 what a great memento of your visit for them to find after a few hot months! – helh&z) )& a uzed biro partially hiddn in th kabn & givn Vitalia a booklt of fotografs of beetls kalld ‘LIVING JEWELS’. Iv just noticed th booklt sh gave me

12

x eJdOuN-aUrŠdAaSs iz mainly O hiz xpriences in th soviet rmy & th 5 years he spent in th GULAG in SIBIRAS on th AMUR pninsula. Ill don8 it 2 th litho liberry in Errol st. North Melbourne whn I get back. It will giv me sumthn 2 read on th plane(s). Eduardas iz used 2 a lot of success & @10shn havn bn nvolvd in many dffrnt folk rt prjekts. He xpresss opinions 4cefully & iz dm&n. He iz lso heavy. In australia it wo-uld b bvious th@ he rquird 24 hour kare in a nursn home thgh I dont think he would kcept it bein used 2 much bettr & mor patient kare. He oftn sez he wants 2 die. Me & H would nevr b abl 2 kcept Vitalias offr 4 us 2 uze this beaut kabn whch woz built (az woz th haus) x Eduardas bkoz w would worry he mght feel nsultd x us failn 2 pay nuff @10shn 2 him. Im packn up my gear & sayn my good xs & givn th booklt O JEWELS 2 Vitalia b4 sh leavs @ 10 4 a konfrnce wth sum hgh germn ffcial no doubt in konnktion wth th TOMO MANNO festvl whch sh runs & whch bgins nxt s@dy. Thn Im takin my suit-kase & leavn it on th boat az greed (it kame in ystrdy) wth th kaptn & spendn th mornn 1drn O b4 boardn @ 1.30 4 th trip 2 Kaunas ….4 brekky I had Blyneliai su vištiena ir grybais ie pfannkuchen mit Geflϋgel und Pilzen 4 8 Lt & Salotos,, Pavasaris “ (švieži pomidorai, agurkai, saldūs pipirai, salotos, salotu padažas) ie. Salat,, Pavasaris” (Frϋhling) (Tomaten, Gurken, Salat, süBe Pfeffer, SalatsoBe (& mayb u hav 2 worry (& b kareful of) O peopl hoo uze so many Kapitals)) 4 7 Lt & Balta kava ie WeiBer Kaffee 4 3 Lt @ th KAVINE,, PAŠIŪRĖ” servd x waitrses in tautiniais (tauta : nation) rūbais (germns like denm partklarly 2 piece (jackt & daks) kowboy style outfts (but lso sports trainn gear wth stripes x 2 on pants legs) whch litho guys, spcially in Kaunas mit8 but litho guys lso wear kamflage rmy daks or vests whch 4 germns is verboten. I got all this 2 a bckgO of piped Simon & Ga-rfunkel tunes (they r mountn a xbition of kitch paintns @chd 2 posts stuck ↓ th watrs of th Curonian c out front th wndow of th 4shor pub I m writin (& will b krappn) in az I drnk a mažas of dark Baltika be-er. Earlier @ their home, b4 leavn 2 say thanks 2 th germn dignitry 4 havn givn 10,000 (marks? Eur-os? Lts?) 2wds th TOMO MANNO festvl (& takn away her sundy), Vitalia gave me a series of 6 kom-mrcial style postkards on a gintaras (amber) theme x Eduardas Jonušas (Dailininkas/Maler/Artist) titld : 1) Baltijos burtai / Baltisches Zaubern / Charms of the Baltic; 2) Viršužmaršties / Über der Unster blichkeit / Beyond the oblivion; 3) Jūratė ir Kastytis / Jūratė und Kastytis / Jūratė and Kast-ytis; 4) Gelmiu šviesa / Licht der Tiefe / The depth light; 5)Vetrungiu paradas / Parade von Wetter-fahnen / Weather-vane parade; 6) Saulė bangose / Sonne auf den Wellen / Sun in the waves). B4 I leav on th boat (whr th kaptn sed (ftr I told him my great line (nuthr great 1 I uze iz 2 say “I m a naïv australian talkn 2 u softk8d lithos” whch no1 haz yet known how 2 reakt 2 ie it stops thm doptn a set (in konkrete) role 2wds me) th@ I m here ftr 60 yrs not nly in lithol& but in EUROPA & its lmost true xept th@ I woz 9 whn w left Napoli DP kamp 4 oz) I kan sit wth him in th frunt 4 a great view if I want) I hav 2 hav a KRAP & post th postkards I writ ystrdy…. X th way my KRAPS hav rturnd 2 their norml BABY SHIT kolor nstead of th weird GREEN they wer whn I had th fektion & nuthr thing I 4got 2 mnt-ion iz th@ @ th POILSIO NAMAI I washd me SOCKS (red & purpl) & UNDRPANTS wth dish washn lquid thinkn it woz lquid soap much 2 th musemnt of Brigita & it workd…. 2004 Liepos 5d (monday) I m in a unit 1 (sharin bthrm, toilt, kitchn & fone in the pssgeway wth unit 2) of a ڤ of 4 units @ Kumeliu 9. 15-4 (6/10/04. c ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ kuvr top left). Like th place in Preila verythn lmost duznt work but I workd out how 2 turn th watr off & lso how 2 stop th watr runnn ↓ th toilt bowl so th cistrn kan fill up. Th soundproofn in th buildn is nill. I slept littl or not @ all (thgh it woz quiet durin th nght) & dreamt th@ a friend had noticed I woz gettn git8d & rr@k & dvized me 2 take sum sleepn pills 2nght – so I will. 2 → my room I → thrgh an rchway → 1 of thos komplk8d ٱ Iv bn writin O (c ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ p8 & ‘Vilnius (no 2)’ p4). Im in th old town only 100 yds frm th wall of th Šv apaštalu Petro ir Pauliaus (PETER & PAUL) arkikatedra – bazilika whch iz much mor 2 my taste than th arkikatedra – bazilika in Vilnius & lwayz haz 3 or 4 beggrs @ th main ntrance. It is markd 1 on th piktur map on th frunt kuvr (6/10/04. uzed th map 4 frunt kuvr of ‘Melbourne → Kaunas’ nsted) of this piece → whch I m makn th finl ntry. I hav a chance in thes 2 days 2 fotokopy it & send it off wth th dskrption of th trip ↑ th Nemunas (Niemen) → Kaunas (Kauen, Kovno). Th boat woz kalld th Deima (named ftr a rivr in th Kaliningrad Oblast (russia)) & it iz 22 metrs long, draws 2 metrs, kan seat 40 but had 26 passngers (I paid 59 Lt) 6 of hoom wer dsboardd in an nscheduled stop @ Jurbarkas (th 2nd biggst town on th Ne-munas in lithol&) whr sum branchs whch

13

had kaught ndr th hull wer kleard way. Th kaptn Jonas (my 2nd name in litho) livs near DEVINTO FORTO (9th 4t) whr Vaidas had workd on th PAMINKLAS 4 a kupl of years (c ‘February 24’ p5). I s@ nxt 2 him in th othr seat in th kabn lmost th ntire 7½ hour jour-ny (thr used 2 b 2 “rockets” doin th trip in 4 hours but they wer sold 2 pol&) 4 a great view of th kunt-ryside & an nsght in2 how th boat opr8s. Th Deima woz built in 78 & durin th trip th toilt malfunktiond so it ddnt ↓ but gurgld ↑ nsted in an nxpektd hkkup but b4 th nd of th trip it had bn fixd; th radio stoppd workn so Jonas woznt abl 2 radio ahead 2 th dredges workn on deepnn th rivr channl 2 say th@ he woz kumn so he uzed a mobile fone whch meant steern wth 1 h& in a strong kurrnt az he dialld th nu-mbr; th mike konkd out @ th same time az th radio; th genr8r woznt chargin nuff but thn rghtd itslf. W pickd up a ko-workr of Jonas, Juozas, hoo stood (thgh I fferd my seat) in th doorway leann → kabn & took ovr th steern 4 while whn Jonas stood in th doorway. W ch@d 4 much of th trip. Juozas haz 2 ki-ds hoo hav bn in th US 4 3 yrs now 1 of hoom married a yank grl ftr a yr & haz a 1 yr old kid. He spn-ds time in th US & haz workd on ships on Lake Michigan (az big az th BALTIKA he sez). Hez dun ju-oda (black) darba (work) (a dog ↓(Im on th 2nd floor) in th ٱ (they ekko & u hear evry kar kum & go & kar radios) haz gon bzerk) in London (faktries), spain (fruit pikn whr lithos find it tuff koz of th heat) & lswhr. He skd many precise ?s O oz O pnsion r8s, how long it takes 2 qualfy (a chrch bell is On – its 9 am) 4 medkls, how tuff r they on llegls. I sed its not worth it if your llegl koz u get xploitd but he knew th@. I drank 100 of BOBELINE (simlar 2 Čepkeliu & a 50 of STARKA (43% alk) just 2 tst thm out & this mornn I checkd my tongue 2 c if it iz furry & it iz. 4 O ½ th trip th Nemunas iz th bordr btween RU-SSIA & lithol&. On th russian (south) side of th rivr w passd SOVIETSK (TILŽĖ in litho; TILSIT in ger-mn) & NIEMAN (RAGAINĖ in litho; RAGNIT in germn). In Nieman thr iz a huge drelikt faktry komplx belchn smoke & pourn kemkl pollutnts → th Nemunas. Th litho faktries whch used 2 pllute th rivr hav klozed they sed az Vaidas had sed sum days earlier. I heard Jonas say DAVAI (in litho fonetik rus) @ th nd of a sntnce on th mobile & I skd him 2 xplain th meann of it but he (mayb he woz lso shamed 4 havn bn kaught out mixn rus → hiz litho) had trubl klarifyin it. He sed it means DUOK (give) in litho but mayb it means ‘giv it 2 me’ az u would say in nglsh slang. Peopl hav trubl xplainn rus slang 2 me (they klaim it haz uneek qualties) & I now rkognize th@ BLAT (c ‘Vilnius (no 2)’ p9) iz just az mf@k az FUCK. Lithos (& esp Brigita) of10 say SIAUBAS or NU SIAUBAS whch trnsl8s → HORROR but iz not horrbl @ all & iz nly mildly mf@k. I m partkulry ntrstd in th lnguage of mfasiz & th nflektions & gestures th@ kkumpny it. rEaIiMmOuNnTdAaSs reckns BLAT kannt b found in a rus diktnry. @ 1st thr woznt much 2 c az in th delta kuntry thck brush grows → th banks but from Jurbarkas → (pas-sd RAMBINO KALNAS whch iz th hghst in litho @ a few 00 metrs hgh) th s&y banks & sOn kuntry bkame pikturesk. Th rivr woz glassy & wider than th Murray. (I hear sum1 drilln!) Thr wer anglrs all long th way sum st&n in th watr waist deep in rubbr ovralls. W passd small towns huggn th bank wth th chrch lwayz built on th hghst gO so u sor th spires ovr treetops long b4 u sor th town. On glassy watr th kkassionl flock of ½ doz swans (Cygnus olor or Cygnus cygnus) kan look vry beautful. Pas-sd th turrts of a kupl of KASTLES. & on th@ note I nd this piece of writin.

14