ANIMAL ETIQUETTE

ANIMAL ETIQUETTE

People have often wondered how to make successful new designs these days. With so many different means of inspiration it has been said everything new is a product of something that already exsists. This book is an example of the theory of incongruence, how the act of randomness can become the base of a new creative and interesting design. In the following pages you will be informed of the rules and expectations of a number of different activitites. Each activity has been illustrated but with a twist. Enjoy!

FOREWORD

TABLE MANNERSTABLE

MANNERS(please memorise these)

NEVER EAT WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN.

WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED YOUR MEAL, PLACE YOUR KNIFE AND FORK TOGETHER ON THE PLATE. IF YOU NEED TO LEAVE, ASK TO BE EXCUSED AND CLEAR YOUR PLATE BEFORE YOU GO.

Do not place your elbows on the table.

Salt and pepper should be passed together even if only one is required, do not season without tasting first.

Please ask politely to have something passed to you from across the table, do not reach across someone elses plate.

If you normally play with the same group, and someone brings in their non-gamer girlfriend or boyfriend for one session, don’t use their inexperience as an excuse to beef up your kill ratio.

DON’T GET ANGRY WHEN

YOU LOSE. DON’T GLOAT

WHEN YOU WIN.

Notice as to whether or

not the other players refer to their character as themselves

or as the names of the characters

they’re controlling; follow suit.

Don’t start playing an online game with others if you know you have prior arrangments within the next half an hour.

NEVER JUST QUIT IF THINGS ARE NOT GOING YOUR WAY. THAT WILL ONLY RUIN THE GAME FOR THE OTHER PLAYERS.

GAMINGGAMINGETIQUETTE

INFLATING AND TWISTING

IF YOU ARE INFLATING A BALLOON TO TWIST LEAVE A FEW INCHES AT THE END FOR AIR TO PUSH OUT.

ALWAYS TIE A STRING AROUND THE WRIST OF SMALL CHILDREN WHEN USING HELIUM BALLOONS.

Keep unused balloons in a box in a cool place as latex balloons do not like heat and light.

IF A CHILD’S BALLOON WERE TO POP IT IS EXPECTED YOU WOULD REPLACE IT FREE OF CHARGE.

NEVER STUFF BALLOONS INTO A POCKET WITH MARKER PENS OR A PAIR OF SISSORS. IT IS BEST TO KEEP THEM IN LARGE POCKETS, ONE POCKET FOR EACH COLOUR.

KNITTINGKNITTINGEtiquette

Support your local knitting shop, the owners might keep an eye out for yarn and patterns you like.

IF YOU BUY A PATTERN BOOK, RESPECT THE AUTHOR AND DO NOT MAKE COPIES OF THE PATTERNS FOR ALL YOUR FRIENDS.

NEVER INTERRUPT A KNITTER WHILE SHE OR HE IS COUNTING.

IN SOME SITUATIONS, KNITTING IS

INAPPROPRIATE: A MEETING, AT WORK, IN

CHURCH, OR AT A PARTY.

If you have unexpected visitors and are right in the middle of cluing up a project, explain what you

are doing and that it won’t take long. If you need time

to work out a stitch or pattern perhaps put it away

and continue when your guests have left.

IF YOU MUST PHOTOGRAPH CHILDREN WITHOUT OBSCURING THEIR IDENTITY MAKE SURE YOU ASK THE PERMISSION OF THE PARENTS FIRST.

Avoid photographing the backs of people unless something really interesting is happening.

IF IN PUBLIC SHOOT WITH A WIDE LENS TO AVOID USING A HUGE ZOOM AND LOOKING STALKERISH.

IF THE SUBJECT OR ARTIST WANTS TO SEE THE PHOTO BEFORE IT GETS PUBLISHED, ALLOW IT.

Always get permission to photograph people, products, art and within private property.

RULES

THE

UNDER ARREST

for when you arethe etiquette

NEVER CALL YOUR WORK DIRECTLY FROM THE CELLS, YOU MIGHT FIND YOURSELF ANSWERING SOME UNWANTED QUESTIONS.

Always be friendly to your cell mates, talk to them but only if they want to.

Don’t say anything to the cops that you don’t have to but answer the questions they need to process you.

Don’t go along with a group of people that is antagonizing police, if you do not feel like antagonizing police.

BE POLITE, RESPECTFUL AND PROFESSIONAL WITH THE COPS, EVEN IF THEY’RE BEING JERKS TO YOU.

please help

HOMELESS

Throw your manners out the window, you will not get anything by saying “please”. Being rude and abrupt seems to work best.

TURN YOUR PHONES OFF WHEN YOU SNEAK INTO THE CINEMAS, EVERYONE KNOWS IT IS STOLEN.

Talk with your mouth full if you like but while you are busy chatting everyone else will be nicking your meal.

DON’T MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR OTHERS, NO ONE IS MAKING IT EASIER FOR YOU.

KEEP YOUR CAP ON AT DINNER, WE DON’T WANT YOUR LICE.

HOMELESSWHAT TO DO

WHEN YOU AREWHAT TO DO

WHEN YOU ARE

PROPER PROTOCOL

SleddingWHEN CLIMBING BACK UP THE HILL, ALWAYS WALK TO THE SIDE OF THE SLEDDING TRACK. ALWAYS WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING.

Pick a hill that is clear of obstacles such as trees, rocks or that points towards a road.

Going with gravity is fun but speed needs to be considered, so do not go too fast.

BEING RECKLESS IS PUTTING YOURSELF

AND OTHERS IN DANGER. NEVER

SLED A HILL WHILE STANDING UP.

TO AVOID COLLISION, ALWAYS CHECK THE HILL IS CLEAR OF PEOPLE BEFORE PUSHING OFF.

YOU ARE EXPECTEDTO APPLAUD WHEN THE BAND FIRST

COMES OUT, AFTER EACH SONG, AFTER

EACH SOLO AND WHEN THE SET CONCLUDES.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO EAT AT THE JAZZ CLUB THEN MAKE SURE YOU GO EARLY ENOUGH TO EAT BEFORE THE GIG STARTS.

When you go to a jazz show, the music is not background music. It’s the main focus of the

event so please be quite.

DO NOT STAND IN FRONT OF THE BANDSTAND PLAYING AIR GUITAR. THIS IS NO PLACE FOR A MOSH PIT.

When the band is asking for requests keep in mind what type of jazz is being played, the idea is not to test the musicians ability but to include the audience.

DO NOT WEAR UNDERWEAR OR VISIBLE

BRA STRAPS. IT IS CONSIDERED

UNREFINED AND THUS

UNBALLETIC.

Never, ever ask to be cast in a specific role in a performance or to be promoted to the next higher level class.

Attention should be directed towards the instructor at all times. Never interupt the class with questions and always say thank you.

FINISH EACH EXERCISE IN THE INSTRUCTED STANCE AND REMAIN UNTIL THE MUSIC IS COMPLETELY FINISHED.

DRESS LIKE A DANCER, COME TO

CLASS CLEAN, WELL PUT TOGETHER AND ALWAYS WEARING

YOUR HAIR IN A BUN.

BalletThe Classroom Etiquette