amo...nima.21.2.2012
-
Upload
john-scott -
Category
Documents
-
view
544 -
download
1
description
Transcript of amo...nima.21.2.2012
AmO...
John Scott
2
3
4
John Scott
A m O...
An Initiatory Voyage under the influence of fear-based psychic vampirism
on the path to Unconditional Love and Light...
An Initiatory narrative.
5
Dedication
To
John Stears,
Liliane de la Porte
and William Walter Scott.
“Pixie” Palmer, “Scottie” and Shiva,
to Light Beings and my ancestors.
To them, to you, to us all...
together...
7
“Non fumum ex fulgore sed ex fumo dare lucem”
John Stears
8
1 Karmic Sentence is passed/past
I once went to Brittany for the weekend... and ended up staying there for
eleven years!
Back in 1992, my French wife had decided to up and go and live in
Pondicherry in India. Instead of returning to England with my tail between my legs I
gave myself three months in which to find a job, which I did, located in a Training
Centre in Orleans. Later, I often thought that I must have been the one who lit the
torch that burnt Joan of Arc at the stake! Or at the very least, the one who gave away
the keys to the English. Because I spent four long, miserable years working at
'Trajectoires' with long-term unemployed persons. Mind you, I was an expert in the
matter, having been unemployed on several occasions in my varied professional life.
I enjoyed the contact with the trainees, but the latent hostility of my superiors finally
erupted into openly recriminatory expression in the form of a redundancy notice. So I
left, wondering at the same time what on earth I was going to do next.
This wasn’t the first time in my life - I was always on the move! Schools,
jobs, and even countries! And so here I was again, this time in a friend of a friend’s
garden in southern Brittany, faced with the same recurrent, existential question:
“What in heaven am I doing here?”
Here, and yet not here. It’s as though I ‘found’ myself there, without really
understanding why or what I was supposed to be doing there. It was one of those
times when you observe yourself, as if you were an experiment in some kind of
laboratory, (which is, of course, exactly what life on Earth is all about!), while at the
same time feeling all of the accompanying sensations experienced by the object of
our investigations. Like when you dip your toe in a stream. You feel the flow of
water, the sudden awareness of localized, heightened sensations in the foot region
that contrast radically with your overall sense of being. You feel the circulating
stream but at the same time you feel outside, excluded from this vital life-current.
Coming in from the outside. Feeling out from the inside. A kind of rebirth.
The opposite of the birth process, in fact, coming out from the inside, and feeling in
from the outside!
It was times like this that I felt that I was once again starting from scratch. All
over again! I’d come to Brittany for a qi gong workshop with a Siberian shaman and
his wife, Victor and Marana, a week earlier. I no longer wanted to continue
translating the metaphysical and ontological writing of the Mateh family near Paris.
(N.B. 'Mateh' is a made-up name.) I just didn’t know whether I was coming or going.
Then Béatrice, my host for the weekend, generously proposed that I stay in her house
as long as I wished until I found out what I wanted to do with my life. But the future
loomed ahead, as empty as my mind!
9
And I was afraid.
I was afraid because I had not yet understood that the future, my future, was
simply not my responsibility! The same applies to all of us, in fact. Our job is to be
available, open to the future, to nurture response- ability! The universe will take of
the rest. Of course, global societal organization has become expert in ensuring that
fear predominates in every walk of life! And all consumer societies depend upon
first creating a demand before then arriving on the scene to satisfy it. Invade and
destroy a foreign country, then return to 'rebuild' it, at no mean financial profit!
Create the fear of insecurity, and then suggest (expensive) ways of overcoming it.
Create the fear of illness and then supply endless remedies, most of which include
sufficient negative side effects to ensure the perpetration of further illnesses.
Creating the fear of unemployment, to ensure subsequent fear of just that. All at a
cost...ours!
But I had run out of remedies. I found myself in this flowery sun-soaked
garden, with its bevy of bees busily spiralling around me on their visits as if drawing
question marks in the sky to punctuate my questions. “Who are you?” and “What are
you doing here?” they seemed to ask, before buzzing off.
I noticed a game of Tarot on a table, and picked up the instruction booklet
before nonchalantly choosing a card. I’d never seen a pack of Tarot cards before. I
drew “Justice”, the eighth arcane that announced:
“Accelerated unfolding of events; karmic sentence; just conclusion.
You must expect a judgement to fall, inevitable in fact. The judgement comes
from the highest realm. In a situation that appears to be impossible to resolve,
this card delivers a brutal, categorical decision, with no right to appeal. This
decision is characteristic of Destiny that speaks and imposes a solution that
nobody expected...”
I religiously noted word for word in a blank notebook that I had bought
several days earlier for no apparent reason. My attention was focused immediately
upon “karmic sentence” and this Destiny that “... speaks and imposes a solution that
nobody expected”. I picked up where the bees left off: What does all this mean? And
why are you writing it all down, as if for future reference? (This was the first of
many entries in what was to become several notebooks, the 6th
. September 1997.) In
a way, it would suit me fine to have my problem resolved, but how?
I didn’t have to wait too long for the ‘judgement’ to fall. As a rule,
judgements arrived only too often in the form of a slipper or teacher’s board-ruler
imposing its justice, measuring its sentence with dancing cadence on my nether
regions. Oh, here we go again. But this time it would suit me fine. I just hadn’t a clue
where I was nor where I was going in life. I was tired of living, while at the same
time conscious of, and frustrated by, the fact that I’d done nothing of mention to
warrant my passage on earth. I would have liked to have achieved something
worthwhile. But here I was again, at (Einstein’s quantum mechanical system state of)
‘zero-point’. My mind was as empty as a state of quantum vacuum zero-point
10
energy. –I could have done with a personalized “big bang”!
And three days later, it arrived!
11
12
2 Astrological warnings
From 1992 in Orleans, I had begun to interest myself in what is commonly
known, in France at any rate, as “those kind of things”; generally preceded by: “I
don’t believe in...” The paranormal and the 'invisible worlds'. (N.B. Occasionally
referred to as the “after-life; strictly speaking there is no such thing as an after life as
life goes on living in its multifarious and multidimensional forms, instantaneously!)
This was during the time that I was working in the Training Centre at Orleans where
I was involved in social and professional reinsertion of the long-term unemployed
persons and prison internees. Living too far away to benefit from the midday break at
home, I drifted around the local FNAC, sandwich in one hand, thumb wedged in the
pages of a book with the other. I discovered the shelves endowed with ancient and
contemporary esoteric writings, and began to explore the world of humanist
numerology and astrology.
A friend’s mother drew up my astrological chart in which she made reference
to areas that I had hitherto ignored and which seemed light-years away from my
current occupations. She spoke of “medical and psychic talents...”, and of the
development of “spirituality, fecundity and occult forces...”, together with
“philosophical projects”. Occult? Spirituality? Reincarnation? Karma? Dictionary in
hand, I continued to explore these domains, which were far from my current
preoccupations.
I pursued my investigations in the hope of discovering and thereby
confirming latent qualities that may give me an indication of which direction to
develop in my life. At first, it was a way of testing whether or not different sources
corresponded in their interpretations of my ‘make-up’. I compared the astrological
findings with their numerological counterparts, reading:
“...Mysterious affairs and paranormal manifestations. Secret projects related
to the collective/society. External occult manipulations. Spiritual group.
Cultural or thematic voyages. Unexpected gains/success. Public
performances...”
(Alain-Victor Christel. La Maîtrise de Nombres. Ed. Guy Trédaniel. 1994)
The more I advanced, the more I discovered correlations between the two
approaches. If I was dubious in the beginning, - What’s all this nonsense : external
occult manipulation? - my scepticism gradually gave way to an increasing
fascination for the 'new' and hitherto unexplored world that opened up before me. At
the same time, I was attracted by the strangely familiar feeling surrounding these
different ways of presenting 'reality' that contrasted sharply with the coldly arrogant
and deterministic assertions of certain elements of the scientific community with its
supposedly unquestionable validity. Notwithstanding the latter, I came to learn that
ever since the beginning of time Man had spoken of an underlying, fundamental
energy force or 'Spirit', at the base of all forms of life. Here, there, everywhere… and
that since the beginning of Time. This force is variously described as 'Chi', 'Vital
Energy', 'Prana' or 'Partiki':
13
“Partiki represent the units of crystalline morphogenetic substances out of which
particles and anti-particles emerge. Partiki are units of electro-tonal energy-
identity that emanate from a central cosmic source called the Yunasai.* Partiki
are the primary units of energy that form all matter, anti-matter, pre-matter and
non-matter substances. They are units of multidimensional light-sound and
consciousness that represent minute projections of energy-identity from the
central cosmic source. Partiki are the organizational intelligence and operational
“life-force fuel” behind and within all manifestations and consciousness. Partiki
operate as minute self-regenerating “fission-fusion generators”. Through the
dynamics of their interaction they create and maintain the electromagnetic fields
of sound frequency and light spectra of which the cosmos is composed.”
(Ashayane Deane. Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000, p.453)
*(N.B. 'Yunasai' is another name for 'God', 'Source' or 'Great Spirit'. In other
words, it is the “Central point of All Union-Eternal Consciousness of the One-
All”.)
I remembered the time when people in general, and the Church in particular,
believed that the Earth was flat! I also remembered Schopenhauer's words: “All truth
goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally
it's accepted as self-evident.” Poor Galileo was threatened with torture for suggesting
the contrary. Even today, how many scientists dare not say what they really know to
be true for fear of reprisals or loss of social or professional credibility and funding? It
is generally considered that Fulcanelli (Camille Flamarion) was a well-known
scientist in his time that had to resort to the use of a pseudonym to express his erudite
alchemical knowledge.
Of course, I’m no genius but I can remember wallowing (silently!) in
disbelief at school when worthy mathematics masters attempted to drill into me that:
“This is a yard.” Not in my book it wasn’t. I told myself that it was impossible to
'measure' a yard without taking into consideration every manoeuvre necessary to
establish this ‘fact’. In addition, you would need to clarify where a yard ends and
where all of the surrounding space – above, below, at either end – begins! In other
words, the definition of a ‘yard’ depends upon the clarification or definition of that
which it is not. Once you’ve found its length, you need to explain how wide is it and
how tall? Otherwise, your yard is left somewhat up in the air. Not an easy matter or a
simple manoeuvre (man over...matter?). So I was not at all convinced by the
conventional explanation. But as usual, I found myself in a minority and as torture
was relatively commonplace in my schoolboy life, I piped down and didn’t come
within a yard of the question! The same applies to the process of ‘locomotion’:
“...nobody has “explained” a push. But how could we possibly explain anything?
We operate only with things that do not exist: lines, planes, bodies, atoms,
divisible time spans, divisible spaces. How could explanations be at all possible
when we first turn everything into an image, our image!”
(Friedrich Nietzsche. The Gay Science. Ed. Vintage Books. 1974. p. 172)
I felt then like this famous ‘toe in the stream’; I heard the music, so to speak,
14
without having the feeling of being part of the composition! Each moment, each day,
each year, each life, each yard and each toe is just the microcosm of the macrocosm.
Each parcel of life is lived from its own particular ‘viewpoint’, differentiated, but at
the same time an integral part of the whole. As in a hologram, which is one
explanation for how the whole Universe could be contained within a grain of sand.
There is no 'other'. We are all united with all visible or invisible things, in One.
“Until scientists and clergy discover that the universe is constructed upon an
ordered model of multidimensional reality, (in which physics and
spirituality/evolutionism and creationism co-exist), they will be unable to prove
or disprove the existence of the Other-worlds.”
(Ashayane Deane, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001 p. xxiv)
Returning to my readings, I found:
“This life is often marked by a more or less serious karmic illness depending
upon what he has decided to purge in this existence. It is an incarnation of
purification in which the soul will finish with one part of its evolutionary cycle...
He must devote himself to others. It is an incarnation of sacrifice. Gift of
healing.”
I would have loved to help or even heal people. But how? I didn’t imagine for
a moment what was going to happen. Yes, I had already spent the greater part of my
life working with people with comparatively difficult living situations. But from that
to playing some kind of out of the ordinary role...? I would have loved to fulfil some
of the potentials expressed in these readings. But how?
The fact that I was asking myself “How?” was in itself indicative of precisely
how not to proceed. Because implicit in the question how lies the assumption that it
is 'we', 'ourselves', who are expected to formulate and find the solution by our self,
on our own. This of course is thoroughly in keeping with the conventionally accepted
point of view. But in actual fact, all we really need to do is simply be available. To
make oneself available to life and to open ourselves to the sum potential that is just
waiting to express itself through us. There’s no need for us to spend time scratching
our head with endless interrogations. Deep down within each and every one of us is
all that is required for us to realize ourselves, to realize our 'mission' on Earth. But
each time we stop to ask ourselves how, we interrupt and block the flow of life’s
energy through us. Some blockages reveal themselves in the form of states of inertia,
which often indicate periods of internal reconstruction. At other times, we may well
have the impression that we are advancing only to suddenly get the impression once
again that we have regressed. But when we were learning how to walk, we didn’t
allow such trifling regressions prevent us from subsequently jumping further!
But at this time, I was far from being able to cultivate such confidence in life.
I woke up each morning in a cold sweat, drenched from the results of unconscious
fears that had mounted to the surface. What was I going to do? Where should I go?
How was I going to manage? I continued to believe that “external forces” governed
what happened to me in life. That I was a helpless prey, a victim even, in face of the
15
whims of a reality over which I had no influence.
I was afraid to choose and at times I was angry towards others. From my
point of view, everyone’s life around me appeared to be going very well. Better than
mine, at any rate. I didn’t think it was fair, and I suffered from it. So, I found plenty
of shortcomings in other people, as if to underline this blatant injustice! I had not yet
made a link between the ills and the judgement that I levelled with regard to others
corresponded to the ills and judgement that I inflicted upon myself. That I couldn’t
feel better in myself while feeling ill towards others. Hat such feelings belong to us,
the time it takes for us to work it out on ourselves.
“We only think of others’ faults because we suffer from them, but it is ours that
have determined this sufferance. You need to think to yourself in order to purify
the atmosphere around you in which you evolve, and by your example will be
the best, the most harmonious way whereby you can direct those who do ill.”
(Henri Durville Au Seuil de l’Initiation. Ed. Chapitre. 2000 p. 109)
And I continued to read and reread. I did not yet know what 'magnetism' or
personal, healing was when I read:
“You are endowed with powerful magnetism. Charisma. You are altruistic,
fraternal and universal. You may be an evolved soul who does not go
unnoticed.”
You could have fooled me! I contemplated myself, hiding away in my fears
and uncertainties in the process of reading such strange things that nonetheless rang
familiar, deep down inside. Words that were sufficiently striking for me to note them
down hoping, no doubt through vanity, that they contained an element of truth about
me! But sometimes, they were completely out of the question:
“ You are at the head of a group that you guide towards the new age. Your
mission consists in knowing how to choose your friends and to help people
express their talents. You are a visionary, a creator, an idealist, even a
revolutionary. Your projects are important. Fraternal and universal tendencies.”
(Chiron, XI House)
Group? What group? Not the groups of social and professional reinsertion
that I lead at ‘Trajectoires’! I couldn’t see myself reflected in the above words. All I
want is to do good, to make people happy. I had already worked with Fourth World
populations with ‘Aide à Toute Détresse’ in England and France; with ‘Romany’
travellers; in psychiatric halfway house contexts; and with Single and Homeless
Families. There had been lots of groups, lots of people, but nothing of
“revolutionary” or mystical nature. I hadn’t a clue what was going to follow.
I was not yet ready to confront or to discover myself during my time at
Orleans. But in noting down these clues, I began to collect elements that would serve
as a basis for my stuttering interrogations. I became interested in humanist
numerology and later left ‘Trajectoires’ having decided that it was time that I became
16
more independent. I resolved that never again would I work for a an employer. I
went to work with the Mateh family, translating metaphysical and ontological texts.
The Mateh had met the Ladanum couple previously at Trimurti in the south of
France and later invited them to come to Presles-en-Brie to animate a qi gong group
in which I decided to participate.
Victor Ladanum and I immediately got on like a house on fire, as if we had
known one another for years. Which indeed we had! His wife Marana was a psychic
and she explained that we had shared several lives together in the past. At the time of
the Magyar I had been his elder brother who had introduced him to the arts of
warfare. The roles appeared to be reversed in this life as Victor was manifestly well-
versed in a variety of Martial Arts. I became regular member of their qi gong group
and embarked upon a series of highly fascinating weekend workshops. Then a friend
of the Mateh, Béatrice, came to stay one weekend and proposed organizing a
workshop for the Ladanums in August in Brittany.
Before the weekend in Brittany, the Mateh family decided to relocate to
Brittany while I stayed on in Paris to complete the workshop cycle before moving on
to join them. Rose Mateh had made an appointment to visit Sonia Lazareff, a well-
known psychic in Paris. At the last moment, she was unable to go, and offered me
her appointment. Hum, never been to visit any one suchlike before in my life! So, off
I went. I had prepared a list of questions such as : “Should I continue my work with
the Mateh?”; “Should I remain in Paris?”; “Should I remain in France?”; and so on.
Sonia described to me a context in which I seemed to be undergoing a certain
level of exploitation with dishonest colleagues or partners in view. The Mateh? She
noted evidence of some kind of mental manipulation and that there seemed to be
some kind of psychic interference surrounding me, as if a spell had been cast upon
me. So I asked her whether my (by now) best friend, Victor, could resolve the
problem given his shamanistic extrasensory powers. She turned her attention to
Victor and suddenly shoved herself away violently from her desk, as if petrified. All
consternation broke out:
“Beware! Victor doesn’t want you to escape! He wants your innocence! He’s
after your soul!!!!! Steer clear of this person: It’s the Devil!!! Danger!!!”
I couldn’t believe it! Victor? My best friend? My hero? He was like a God on
Earth for me. But why would he wish me harm? What could I have that could
possibly interest him? It just didn’t make sense; neither her reaction nor the
implications of her words. All of a sudden my stomach churned and I became
nauseous, like an empty bottle riding violent waves in a storm. At the same time, I
became cold with fear. What if she were right? What would (and could) I do now?
Why did she have to come along and shatter what was beginning to be a life with a
semblance of purpose? Where do I go from here?
I continued to fearfully mull over these and other uncomfortable questions in
the days to come. I arrived at the following qi gong workshop with an ominous dark
cloud hovering over my head and a pressure-cooker seething with pent-up steam just
17
waiting to explode from within. Victor was his usual cheerful, magnanimous self. I
searched in vain for the tiniest clue to reveal unrest or nervousness on his behalf,
convinced that he must be aware of my visit and of its implications. Nothing! Was I
imagining things? What’s more, was I now unjustly suspicious of someone who
patently appeared to devote his life to the well-being of others? Feelings of guilt
mingled with an overriding sense of fearful, defensive anger – directed at Sonia, at
Victor and at myself.
The weeks went by, and slowly but surely I began to push all thoughts of
danger, betrayal or bedevilment further and further from my mind. I desperately
needed a sense of security, a Guide of sorts, even though I had an aversion for all
notion of Master or Guru. I had always entertained a tense, unambiguous relationship
with authority and it’s figures! Many are the time I’d been beaten at school for
refusing to comply with the indiscriminate demands of authority. No compromise. I
was impossible and I had the bruises to prove it! But I had begun to weary of
struggling and of forever kicking against the pricks. I longed for a bit of peace and
quiet, a sense of belonging. I was tired of rowing upstream, against the current. It
was time to go with the flow. Pushing my final reservations to the back of my mind, I
continued to follow Victor.
At the end of the weekend in Brittany, Victor told me that I was now ready to
teach qi gong there! After only a few months practice? I thought he must be joking
and was left wondering what I was going to do and where I was going to go from
there. I was still wary of Sonia's words concerning “dishonest colleagues and
partners” and as a precaution I decided to end my collaboration with the Mateh.
Beatrice contacted a psychic friend of hers to ask if she could help find some answers
to my interrogations. Her friend replied that she was turning to other things now, but
that she would let me know if ever she had a ‘message’ for me.
Several days later I was visiting Béatrice at her work-place in Brest when a
woman unknown to me arrived to give me a message from the invisible worlds. She
was called Liliane de la Porte, and she was clairvoyant. Well, she may have had her
head somewhere up there in the clouds, but her feet were planted squarely on the
ground! She invited me outside in the small rose garden and without beating about
the bush announced in a nanosecond:
“You are a healer. For the last two years “those up there” have tried to attract
you come to Brittany. You can decide to stay here and do healing work or you
are free to refuse. But you won’t be a healer in England. The choice is yours. Do
you want to stay?”
Bang !!!
Dumbstruck, I tottered on my feet. Her words struck me like punch in the
stomach. Even though I didn’t really know what a ‘healer’ really was I sensed that
what she was saying was true. I felt it deep down inside. I heard myself utter “Yes”
as all sorts of thoughts flooded to mind. But how was I going to manage? What
would I have to do? I had no training. I hadn’t a clue what was involved. As usual! A
18
huge, empty space opened up before me. But Liliane continued to fire away, as if
reading my mind, rattling off words with confident determination:
“Don’t go and see other healers. You don’t need to read anything about healing.
There’s no training on Earth that is suitable for you. There’s no need for you.
Simply go into the woods and observe the workings of Nature. Listen to the river
and to the songs of the stones. Let yourself be guided by your feelings. Place
your faith in the Universe and its ability to instruct you? Let it help you to find
yourself.”
What? I’d never heard anything like it. Let Nature guide me? You must be
kidding! That would be like jumping into the void! Or a 'black hole'! A leap in the
dark. But I was already in the dark as far as my future was concerned. And yet her
calm confidence reassured me. She told me that I had been a healer all this time
without being aware of it. These words really intrigued me because only a week
earlier one of my friends daughter, Fanny, had come running to her mum
complaining of a violent headache. I had spontaneously waved my hands around her
head (just like those bees!) predicting confidently: “Don’t worry, I’ll soon get rid of
that!”. And lo and behold, I did!
While the thought of being able to heal people like the gentle Jesus appealed
to me I could not quite reconcile this prospect with my current feelings of a state of
empty uselessness. Where to begin? And how? I was like a new-born baby in an
adult’s body, apprehending each stage with timorous incredulity... But Liliane was
there. She offered to guide me in my new venture and to accompany me in the
beginning stages of the journey of self-discovery that opened before me. She was
already considerably advanced along the path and had received a ‘calling’ to help
me, amongst others, along the way. This was the beginning of a short but intense
relationship in which Liliane attempted to induct in me as much insight as possible.
No mean task, given my educational track record!
About as easy as squaring the circle.
19
20
3 Astral logical dawning
Liliane had worked for many years in the Arsenal at Brest, and her health had
suffered accordingly. According to her, she was “on her last legs”. Following our
first revelatory meeting she encouraged me to start my healing work “on her”, which
is exactly what I did. In fact, it was more-like inexactly at first, because I really
hadn’t a clue what to do! I thrust my arms out rigidly in front of me, gyrating like a
‘dalek’ from ‘Dr Who’ and averting my head (as if that would make any difference!),
simply praying that something would happen to ease her pain. And it did. Even
though I felt nothing, Liliane immediately began to feel the benefit of the energy that
flowed between us, or rather, through me to her! This was all perfectly normal,
according to her. I had spent my whole life bathing in my own energy and so I just
took it for granted. I didn’t feel its presence, myself. Like a fish, that only becomes
aware of the importance of water in which it evolves if it is removed from it. So there
I was; thrown in at the deep end!
So, she began visiting me virtually every day, not just for the benefits of my
healing energy, but more importantly to “position” me for my future work. By
‘positioning’, Liliane referred to her role as a kind of instructor, someone who could
accompany the person, introducing them to “those kind of things”. The kind of
phenomena that they may otherwise ignore but which would be useful in the future.
In order to achieve this, she combined her psychic sensibility with other mediumistic
facets. She often used Tarot cards as a support, even though she invariably described
a situation before revealing its confirmation in the cards!
I wasn’t the first person that Liliane had been 'called upon' to reveal their
respective talents. At this time, she was actively involved in positioning two
mediums, Adréne and Myriam. She also introduced me to the use of the pendulum to
find water and to measure the positive or negative orientation of vibratory levels in
different circumstances. For example, to start off with I could test whether or not
source water was fit to drink. Or whether certain foods were comestible. I went a
little bit over the top in the beginning, gadding about surreptitiously testing every
single item that I intended to buy in any given shop in order to ensure that they were
suitable for me! Nonetheless, the hours that I spent measuring this and investigating
that enabled me to become relatively competent in the domain after a few months
practice. (After a couple of years, you can then lay aside your pendulum, because
your instincts and your self-confidence will have become fully engaged, the
pendulum only ever being an extension of what you already 'know' deep down
inside.)
But I was still at the beginning of a road that Liliane appeared to have
advanced along for several years already. She continued to receive messages from
‘above’, sometimes getting up in the middle of the night to jot things down ready to
telephone me the following morning. I began noting them down in order, that’s to
say in ‘disorder’, because these messages took no heed of terrestrial time concepts:
21
they were quite likely to jump without warning from one subject or space-time
continuum to another:
« Harmonise the masculine and feminine within. You (N.B. Liliane and John)
are both your mirror image and you must work together to become aware of
your true Self, of the joy buried within yourselves. As long as you resist and
remain unchanged, you’ll continue to attract the same people ».
You’ll reap the fruits of your work – good or bad. You need to gain self-
confidence. You are going to discover your treasure and all kind of doors shall
open for you. »
« Children, in growing you’ll enable others to grow. »
(Liliane’s notes, August 1997)
But I was far from being the easiest student to teach. I never had been.
Already at Primary school, I was the one that got beaten by all the masters for
anything and everything that went wrong in the school. They always assumed that I
was the leader and thereby responsible for any disorder. As for me, up until now I’d
never cow-towed to authority. I didn’t like acknowledging my ignorance. Or rather, I
simply did not like being wrong, this ‘wrong’ that only too often I attributed to
others:
“If you feel under attack, it’s because you have not yet sufficiently advanced
in self-understanding. You criticize others for not being clear about
themselves. But are you, yourself?”
(Liliane 1997)
Hum, this was the kind of reasoning that was difficult for me to hear. I only
wanted to 'do good' and hereby give myself some kind of legitimacy. But without too
much auto-criticism, if you don’t mind! Above all, I wanted to retain control over
my life, my destiny. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be entirely autonomous and
independent of everything and of everyone. I didn’t like people telling me what I
should do and how I should do it. But paradoxically, and thanks to the socio-
educational pressures that are common to us all, part of me wanted, also, to please
others, to be accepted by others. To be loved. Being (seen to be) wrong was, by
inference, failing to please and being considered as unacceptable. Another dilemma.
On the one hand, it appeared now that I had been endowed with the gift of
healing simply by using my hands. It was natural. But at the same time, what I said
or did other than in these moments of healing activity was not natural, in the sense
that I continued to make mistakes, to quite simply be wrong. Meanwhile, I quite
naïvely assumed that now that I was kind of 'gifted to do good', everything must
automatically become more fluid and harmonious around me. No more obstacles.
The whole Cosmos would conspire to facilitate my successful realisation! But this
was wishful thinking. Not only did I continue to encounter red lights along my route,
but also numerous diversions, setbacks and challenges.
22
This was a source of constant confusion and annoyance for me. Why couldn’t
I just be left in peace to do good around me, full stop? Why give me the capacity to
help people when on occasions I only had to open my mouth to upset someone? I
wanted everything to be perfect and luminous. Now! That there was no more misery
on Earth that all problems were resolved, that people were happy and that everyone
lived in peace and in harmony. But if my intentions were good, my ego was
somewhat regressed in its understanding of 'Love'. Because Love involves loving
everything, without exception, unconditionally... And if we do not first love our self
how can we manage to love (all) others? I did not love myself and so I could not love
others.
There was still this little child inside who longed to be able to stay at home in
the warmth, next to his mum by the fireside scoffing freshly-baked cakes. If only the
world could have stopped there, at the age of innocence! But obviously, there would
be no point in inviting ourselves back to Earth throughout successive incarnations
were there nothing more to learn, nothing new to undertake, nothing to dare, nothing
to surpass... Even the so-called 'baddies' among us seek a return to beatitude – a
return to the Golden Age, to this notion of a 'paradise lost' that everyone harbours
deep-down within themselves. But this is forgetting that if God is in us, we are not
God, no more than is our ego us! The ego is a tool that enables us to advance. It’s the
ego that we observe in those moments where we have the impression of being in
action without fully being there! Like the feeling of one's toe in the stream: ‘Toe be
or not toe be...!)
Blind to its own ignorance, the ego believes itself to be in charge of
everything instead of recognizing that it is merely vehicle that enables us to savour
the delights and pains of the evolutionary path that the soul has chosen for us. It’s the
soul that guides and directs the vehicle along its route. It’s the soul that is invoked to
harness or subdue this rampant emotional expression that inputs energy into motion
(e –motion?). But in order to advance, both the driver and the conductor need fuel
resources – Spirit. And even if we are capable of advancing without a vehicle, our
vehicle nonetheless needs us in order to advance. We may have the impression that
it’s us who advance along the pathway of life but in fact the pathway in question is
us! It’s more a case of life passing through us, than of us passing through life. Time
does not pass; it rests where it is. We are the “pass-time”! And life assumes an
identity that corresponds to the image that we ascribe to it, depending upon our point
of view at any one time in general, and at this moment in time in particular. As
Wittgenstein said, the world of the happy man is not the same world as that of the
unhappy man.
At the same 'time', it could be said that while living the effects of an
apparently visible and concrete world, this “real” world of our classical scientists, we
simultaneously occupy several other worlds and lives – invisible ones. A bit like
Russian dolls, only in reverse. We can see the external doll or physical body but
there are also internal and external energetic bodies, without mentioning separate
existences pertaining to other multiple dimensions, all of which escape the attention
of our five senses. A bit like the cabriole of quantum particles that also appear to
occupy several 'places’ simultaneously. According to the astro-physician (citing
23
Einstein): “73% of all that exists is an unknown type of black matter of which we
(Science) know nothing; a further 23% consists of black matter of an equally
unknown type. The remaining 4% is composed of atoms and molecules, like you and
I, and this chair. If all of our machines and technologies are mobilised, we are only
able to “see” one-tenth of this matter, in other words a mere 0,4% of Everything.”. Is
this all that this Science, a body of Science that appears to have replaced God in the
authority-figure hierarchy in conventional society, can inform us upon about reality –
0,4% ?
“Many of the earthly scientific communities believe that life is limited to the
physical expression and that consciousness is the result of the body's
biochemical/neuro-electrical functions. Following these erroneous beliefs, they
draw an equally erroneous conclusion that consciousness ends at the death of the
physical body. Yet at the same time they are unable to identify the creative,
intelligent force through which an ordered system, such as the body, could be
created. Current scientific thought creates a paradox within itself, as an attempt is
made to define the mechanics of infinite reality within the confines of the finite,
3-dimensional mind. The paradox can be overcome once it is realized that
consciousness and intelligence pre-date the manufacture of the body, and
transcend its finite life span. Once this is realized, science will be confronted
with a whole new order of multidimensional reality, and a whole new science
through which that multidimensionality can be understood.”
(Ashayana Deane,Voyagers Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 p. 39)
The ego, too, positions itself outside or apart in the same way as classical
scientists with their notion of ‘objective observer’; as if each observed object
operated independently of everything else in a kind of closed circuit. The ego does
not accept being a mere ‘part’ of the Whole. It divides, in the same manner as
scientific investigation, in order to seek their respective truths – in vain. But the ego
seeks to situate itself beyond and above the objects of its attention. This is the
classical science’s “observer”, in opposition to quantum-physic investigation in
which it is acknowledged that the observer themselves is part and parcel of what is
being observed. That the observer influences both the form and the content of what is
under observation. They are at once the subject and object of what is observed. Less
a case of an observer observing a process, than being all parts of a process that
simultaneously observes itself !
Like reading this book! Here, the text itself is more of a context within which
the readers themselves also create meaning and bring knowledge into cognition.
Time is simultaneous – incorporating all multi-dimensional (including linear/line
here) times and experiences in the present moment which itself includes an infinity of
conceivable expressions:
“Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.” (T.S. Eliot, “Burnt Norton”. Ed. Faber & Faber)
24
Let's put it another way; the present moment is the cause. Both past and
present being the effects. What at first sight appears to be a linear concept – time –
reveals itself to be multidimensional and timeless. For example, a (grammatical)
sentence appears to have a beginning, a middle and an end. Full stop! But this is, of
course, an illusion. The 'reading' of a sentence invites us to indulge in a co-creative
dance involving constant gymnastics of an infinite myriad of potential
interpretations. For example: “Earth is blue like an orange; never a mistake, words do
not lie” (Paul Eluard). Appraisal is invited of both the grammatical/syntax and
literal/metaphoric 'readings' that are contained therein, not to mention the 'invisible'
and un-tangible dynamic that unites them simultaneously to ensure the
creation/existence of the text itself. The duality/polarity of a coin; 'heads'
(positive/grammatical) and 'tails' (negative/literal) are, then, united by their neutral
'common denominator': the coin itself. Thus we have here a dynamic, multi-faceted
unified context::
“a co-creation co- creating, and in turn co-creator!”
...In the meantime, at the other end of the 'harmonics spectrum', the ego cuts
itself off from its own roots and isolates itself, losing its way as it nurtures
frightening itself to death. It ends up hoping desperately that nothing change will
change; “if only things could remain as they are for ever, please?... whoever,
whatever and wherever you are...?”
Like this little child John!
That is exactly how I lived during these years. I’d cut myself off from others
early on, but more fundamentally thereafter cut myself off from my profound self.
Like the ego, I sought a kind of auto-determination in place of which I encountered
uncertainty and a lack of self-confidence that manifestly thrived on a diet of
underlying fear. Because at the end of the day it boiled down to a question of
confidence. Confidence in others, granted, but which could only develop through
self-confidence. Only too often I sought the solutions to problems outside of myself.
As if somewhere there was a modus operandi that you could simply consult to find
all of the answers you required. And in the absence of a ‘living manual’ I resorted to
“If only...”
If only I had a stable financial situation... If only I could find my soul sister...
If only I could live happily ever after. If only... Life would be so much easier. But no
doubt also it would have been too flat and boring, mundane, too routine and...life-
less! At any rate, my ego was extremely frightened during these years despite
continuing to insist the he was the boss and that he depended upon no one! But
sooner or later, I had to admit that it wasn’t me who pulled my puppet strings. For
here was Liliane who talked of “chains of love” that linked us with the invisible
worlds and with our ancestors. And this chain didn’t work on a one-way system.
“You will succeed in your healing work. I have volunteered to support your
evolution. Each step that you take will be a great step for me. Always remember
that we advance together. There are three doctors for the healing. I do not
25
intervene, but I’m allowed to be present.”
(Message from “Pixie” Palmer, my grand-mother who died in 1977.)
So, everything that I did or that took place through me had repercussions in
the invisible worlds? Are we simply like racehorses, then, that people can bet on? At
least I was no longer alone and there was a certain element of freewill available to
me, which counteracted the notion of a cast-iron destiny in which everything was
preconceived leaving us without a word to put in edgeways. I could decide each day
whether or not to jump these hurdles, these challenges that life was forever
presenting me with. But the hurdles remain. They await me the next time round! But
I am not expected to jump into thin air without a parachute. On our soul’s level, we
are the ones who initially decided to present us with these hurdles to jump, these
challenges to overcome. And let's not forget that we are not alone (and that we pre-
packed a map, thermos, sandwiches, a parachute...):
“Go on young’un, you’re ready to act. You’ll do a lot of good around yourself.
Learn, and don’t forget that on Earth as throughout the Universe, we are all
united in a marvellous chain of love. Alone, you can do nothing. With everyone,
you become divine.
Because that is the sole purpose of your incarnation: to understand that God is in
you and to remain humble in this love.”
(“Pixie” Op. Cit.)
Liliane had described Pixie as having white curly hair, clutching her handbag
at chest level, and wearing a necklace with three strands of pearls. Like a chain? This
was an accurate description of the photographs of Pixie that I had kept with me.
According to Liliane, this necklace was Pixie’s vow, placing her inextricably in
reliance with me: “Don’t forget that in your work with Pixie, if you fail, she fails
too.” This chain, then, 'linked' me to and with Everything. “We’ll help one another
mutually.” Linking me to this “Everything”, without which I’d be “nothing”? I was
going to have to choose, sooner or later. Was I to be independent, dependent or to
become interdependent? Free or inextricably linked, directed even, by a force that
overrides my own will? ‘Sooner or later’, because for the time being I contented
myself with wallowing in the mud!
But like my toe dunked in the stream, I had always felt 'outside', apart, at once
there and not there. This was the case of being a foreigner in France; at once there
yet not fully integrated. If I had often sought to discover what it was to be “different”
– by living or working with different people in psychiatric contexts or with the
Fourth World population, with Romany Travellers or in post-revolutionary Iran, etc.
– it was as much to put myself to the test as to question the idea of difference as
being the basis for the social rejection of this 'other'. Rejection that I did not accept as
a matter of principal. For despite paradoxically considering myself to be different
from others I recognized myself in the other to a certain extent. In seeking the
specificity or singularity that distinguished these others from ‘us’, from so-called
normal people, I also sought a more precise definition of who I was. And who
decides what is ‘normal’? I was looking for myself. Like the brain that seeks the
limits of its own intelligence, (a short-term experiment in my case), forever frustrated
26
by the fact that this same brain is, itself, its most useful tool. But it is simply no more
than a tool. A computer that is 'programmed' to regurgitate preconceived parameters.
Adrène and Myriam – two psychics in the making - and I would all meet
regularly to glean from Liliane the necessary basics for our future activities. Adrène
was going to organize her workplace in a house in Brest, and she gave me some pots
of paint to decorate downstairs in preparation for where I could subsequently receive
my first customer. I began with Liliane, Adrène, Béatrice and Myriam. It was pretty
folkloric in the beginning. I still didn’t really know how to go about things. I
spontaneously closed my eyes, (which I later was to learn positively modifies the
quality of energy imparted) and turned away my head for some obscure reason
because my eyes were already shut anyway! I couldn’t see or feel anything.
Sometimes certain reassuring noises emanated from the person’s stomach region – at
least something was happening, even if I didn’t have a clue what it was! Nonetheless,
from the very start Liliane assured me that my interventions were doing her good.
Hum, that was good news for Pixie, too!
One night at about three o’clock, Myriam telephoned to say that she was
suffering from an asthma crisis – I could hardly recognise her voice or understand
what she was saying. She could neither lie down nor sleep. She felt that she was
choking to death and was very afraid. I drove off to Brest immediately and after half
an hour’s healing work she regained her normal breathing pattern. Phew! The crisis
was over, and we were both relieved and reassured, for different reasons – this
healing lark apparently worked!
27
28
4 Consecration
Liliane continued to position me during the following weeks. The time had
come for me to get myself together; a reconstitution that was not going to take place
without my making further advances in learning patience. This proved difficult for
me because I always liked to be chopping and changing, being on the move. It was a
convenient way to avoid facing up to myself and to others. Liliane suggested that I
leave aside all the ‘Chinese nonsense’ (N.B. qi gong) and concentrate on my Celtic
heritage that was closer to home. In fact, I had lost contact with Ladanum since he
had come to Brittany in 1997.
As time went by, I started to pay increasing attention to my surroundings and
to all of the different sensations that expressed themselves in different parts of my
body and through my hands. Liliane took me to all of her favourite haunts in this part
of Brittany known as ‘Finistère’. (N.B. from the Latin Finnis Terrae, meaning the
‘end of the earth’, and its Breton name, Pen ar Bed, that translates as ‘head of the
World.’) Some of them were well frequented, such as the basilica at Folgoët, while
others were off the beaten track. She often went to Pen ar Hoat, near Sizun, to fill
her ancient, hollow-based Côte de Rhone bottles with fresh source water. There were
three sources in all; an ancient druid source, and two more adjoining the chapel. On
our first visit together we found a salamander in each source. The meeting of fire (the
salamander is said both to represent and to be able to live in fire) and water – the
29
unification of opposites!
She took me out and about to discover chapels, fountains, sources and other
energetic sites. For example, having arrived at some remote chapel she asked me to
find the most energetic point. So there I was, standing there like a lost penny
scratching my head and wondering where on earth to start looking, only to find that I
was already on the spot! Much to Liliane’s amusement! I was less proud. It seemed
that learning a bit of humility, too, was part of the course! I began to discover that
there were lots of situations in daily life in which “I” automatically and
unconsciously reacted. I spontaneously directed myself to, or was attracted by,
energy, by-passing all mental intervention, much to the reactive disdain of my ego.
So what’s the point of all this nonsense anyway? What am I doing here? Where was
all this leading? Periodic messages from “above”, often from my ancestors, arrived
through Liliane with answers to these questions:
“You don’t have anything to prove to anyone. Don’t restrain yourself, be yourself.
Give without hurting. It was not easy bringing you back to Brittany.”
“As for the “Young one” (Liliane), she’ll need to rest once she’s finished with the
camphor. You will need to give her lots of water, and do some healing work on
her to bring her back to life.”
“Listen to me. I’m protecting you and I love you. Call me as often as you want.
I’m sending you lots of messages because the ‘Young one’ will be leaving soon
and I will no long be able to talk to you. I work with you during the night. Breath
deeply before you fall asleep, and speak to me;”
“The ‘Young one’ can always depend on you. And you, you’ll feel betrayed if she
gives you no more news. You are doing a good job together. She has more sincere
friends in the after-life than on Earth. You must help her. She is still imprisoned
by her feelings of inferiority. Like you, she has been wounded by life.”
For John: “Work on the feminine aspect, starting with your family. Start all over
again from the word dot with the ‘Young one’. Your financial difficulties will not
last. You are well protected in the after-life.”
“You can be assured of the support from those in the after-life. You will receive a
lot in the mediumistic realms. You’ve already made a good start –well done. We
are proud of you.”
“Your father got the message about the bed. (N.B. I had written to him to suggest
that he modify his bed position, as he was sleeping on a spot where two
‘Hartmann lines’ crossed. He moved the bed and subsequently regained peaceful
sleep!). I worked with him during the night.”
(September 1997. Assorted messages from Pixie)
Occasionally, messages referred to some of my other lives:
30
“...You were once a Chief under Attila. You destroyed everything. You tore down
stones, you burnt, you raped, did evil. You abandoned your wife to make war.
You must (now) liberate yourself from all of this suffering. The moment has
come. You can’t give the most of yourself with all this violence inside of you,
because you’ll only transmit it to others. That’s why you must resolve certain
problems before working. You are ready now, otherwise your gift for healing
would not have been revealed to you.”
I was going to get back in touch with this internal “violence” in no uncertain
terms at the time of my father’s death, but for the moment I was too preoccupied
with the proliferation of events and discoveries abounding from all directions to
grasp fully the signification of the above message. Why this particular message, and
what was its relevance to my actual life? Go to war, leave my wife, and do wanton
violence – none of those things could relate to anyone who had sufficient self-
esteem... because it is impossible to do evil to someone without also suffering
oneself! But today, I was still suffering. I was still 'doing myself down'. I did not
seem to have evolved much since my time in Attila’s days! Luckily, more messages
came to support and encourage me:
“...Together we can do good work? A doctor in the ‘afterlife’, a man, is preparing
to use your hands for healing work. Let yourself go with the flow – don’t block.
The “Young One” will serve as ‘guinea pig’. Before using your hands, you can
employ one of these prayers:
- Oh God, without You I am nothing. I’m not seeking to obtain a result, but
simply to relieve his person who has come to me. Allow me to bring them peace,
for the love of your name.”
- If this is the moment, send them healing. If not, send them loving thoughts.
- This person has some problems: help them through my hands.
- I confer my hands to your will.
“God, and God alone, disposes of the power to heal. Once you have understood
that you are God, then all miracles will become explicable, and you’ll be able to
treat all who come to you because, first and foremost, it’s their soul that needs
healing.”
Me? God? Obviously not! I realized that God’s Will could express itself
through me, through us, in the same way that magnetic energy (or ‘fluid’, as it is
known by some) manifests itself through us. You could say that I don’t have a clue
what I’m doing during a healing session. It’s not ‘me’ that decides what’s going to
happen, and when. I’m a mere intercessor in a process that works by itself...thanks to
God! A bit like the process of respiration; even though it manifests itself through me,
I don't have to be consciously aware or actively implicated in the process for it to
succeed – and thank God (again!) too because, otherwise, how would I ever get the
chance to sleep!
“The ‘Young one’ knows all that because we’ve done that already with her. That’s
what drew her to you. This is what’s so exciting for her. As she prepares to pass
31
on to the next phase, she can transmit all that she has learned to you. And we’ve
done a lot of work with regard to health matters.”
“It’s a surprise for all three of you (John, Adrène and Myriam). We have others in
store for you. Return to Universal Love. Don’t allow terrestrial sentiments to
dominate your thoughts;”
(Message from William Walter Scott my deceased paternal grandfather,
received by Liliane on the 3rd
October 1997)
Hum, terrestrial sentiments. It’s difficult to avoid them! Sentiments are
everywhere...not to mention emotions; these deep sombre sentimental currents and
explosive waves of superficial and short-lived emotions that well up from the depths
of the psyche. The expression of fear and violence that is catalysed by an “object”.
This object, person or a situation, is often taken for being the cause and source of the
fear or anger, which provides a convenient way for the (angry/fearful) person to
distance themselves from an understanding and resolution of the real source problem.
And the further we get from the source, base emotions replace the calmer reflection
and compassion that is required, pulling us deeper into the murky realms of reactive,
uninformed ignorance.
Emotions and sentiments are, effectively, terrestrial, because they are almost
exclusively confined to life on Earth. Once liberated from our carnal envelope, when
our terrestrial vehicle (the physical body) dies, we are spontaneously liberated from
what at times amounts to the grips of emotional and sentimental control. In the 'after-
life', we continue to observe and hear people on Earth but we are no longer under the
influence of the emotional or sentiment colouring of events. Emotions belong to life
on Earth. It’s thanks to them that we can appreciate the myriad subtleties, inflections
and wealth of experience that life on Earth proposes to us. It is also thanks to them
that the evolutionary value of our experiences is measured with regard to the quality
and depth of our respective reactions to them.
“Advance! We need you. It’s time to act. Strengthen this love chain to unite us
all. We need people like you to weld the first links. Don’t try to break them. But
we will ask much of you. You must become pure in yourself and love God. Each
time you take a step forward, you’ll advance in your work. Great wealth awaits
you, sufferance too, but the results will amaze you.”
At first, I oscillated between unabated enthusiasm for this fascinating source
of information and a sceptical questioning of its credibility. However, as the months
passed by I was able to confirm a sufficient amount of Liliane’s messages to be
convinced of their validity. The evidence spoke for itself. How could a total stranger
arrive from nowhere to announce that I had the capacity to heal? I began to ask
myself deeper questions about such notions as reincarnation and psychic
communication with the invisible worlds.
“You have incarnated to perform healing work. Don’t let us down. You need to
change your lodgings... but stay in Brittany. Don’t live in doubt. Not only do you
help people on Earth, but you help us, too. No longer doubt your abilities. Have
32
confidence in yourself.”
(“Pixie”, the 6th
October 1997)
“Not only do you help people on Earth, but you help us, too.” When we are
born, we inherit the combined genealogical data of both parental lines. In other
words, the heritage of hundreds of generations and of thousands of people. This is
without taking into account our inheritances from all of our other past lives - all of
which is stored in our DNA. We are not simply, then, the issue of our ancestors.
Nothing separates us from them...apart from prejudices and the respective level of
our open-mindedness. And an exclusive belief in linear time? In a sense then, we are
our ancestors! And so here we are then, inextricably linked to our ancestors in an
eternally long chain. Each time a problem is resolved in the present it spontaneously
liberates all of the ancestral lineages concerned while, at the same time, releasing
subsequent generations. In the event of unresolved problems, we simply pass them
on to 'future' generations, as an athlete passes the baton in a relay race.
“You will help in avoid many operations. You will talk a lot – not discussions!
Your words will do untold good. No longer doubt: ACT.””
...” Take note of signs coming from birds. There will be a signal from above : for
your CONSECRATION. We will always support you.”
What was meant by my ‘consecration’? Shortly afterwards, Liliane suggested
that I go to Carnac to find a white stone where I would be consecrated. The same
day, and without prior consultation on their part, Béatrice proposed a trip to Carnac.
She wanted to take me to a stone that had been shown to her by a now deceased
friend of hers, (Adrène’s daughter). Béatrice left me alone by this large, flat stone
known as the “White Lady”. I circled around it, looking for some kind of a clue as to
why I had come there. The “White Lady” was a bit off the main pathway that led to a
popular ‘menhir’ (N.B. Menhir = long stone ; men/maen = stone; hir = long, in
Breton). I could hear the cries of excited children in the distance as I lay down on the
white stone to soak up the sun. I closed my eyes and began to let my thoughts drift
away to the humming sounds of nature.
I lost track of time and when I finally opened my eyes I had a surprise.
Directly above my head I realized that the surrounding tree summits and branches
converged to form a circle in the sky. Right in the middle I saw a hawk delicately
hovering over me, flapping its wings in a manoeuvre that is known as the ‘Holy
Ghost’ (the ‘Saint Esprit’, in French). The bird’s spirit embraced my soul. And that is
how I came to understand the significance of Liliane’s message: “Take note of birds’
signs.” This was exactly the way in which I was going to use my hands! (All those
years of mimicking Jimi Hendrix's deft manual virtuosity would finally bear fruit!)
This was my consecration.
She had told me to avoid other healers and writings about healing practice.
Instead, she sent me off to the woods to visit stones and water sources. I learned later
that animals automatically follow the most energetic paths, just as birds and whales
traditionally follow magnetic lines. Many contemporary roadways had been
33
constructed on countryside paths that were originally animal tracks. They then
became progressively larger before ending up as fully-fledged roadways. In this way,
animals (and subsequently human beings) were able to ‘top up their batteries’ while
going about their business. Even today in parts of Brittany, ancient plots of land with
their characteristic sloping embankments (‘talus’) demarcate the passage of energy. I
learnt that the entire world consisted of an elaborate network of energetic lines that
criss-crossed both land and sea. Of course, these have existed since the beginning of
time, but more recently they have become known as Hartmann and Curry lines,
named after the people that ‘dis-covered’ them, together with Ley lines and Sacred
lines (one example of which passes through the Cheops pyramid).
I also learnt that most of our cathedrals and churches had been constructed on
pagan sites of worship, noted for their particularly powerful energetic fields and their
sacred relationship to water, revealed through the presence of underground water
currents and networks. That the height of certain cathedral spires corresponded
exactly to the depth of a water source beneath them, such sources having been
deemed sacred in the past. For example, the spire of Notre Dame in Paris is thirty-
five meters high and a natural spring is to be found thirty-five meters below ground
level.
Liliane said that “those above” had prepared me for healing work since 1983,
when I was thirty-three. She stressed the importance of ‘emptying my head’ (not too
difficult, in my case, given the dearth of content!), if I were to function efficiently in
the healing work. My ego was less impressed, feeling somewhat ‘left out’! “...And
you don’t need books for that!” She often communicated with Pixie, who was
delighted to be a spectator during the healing sessions, clutching her handbag.
I was still very tense, waking up in cold sweats fearing for my future,
wondering where on earth all of Liliane’s teachings would lead. Having stayed at
Beatrice’s for a couple of months, the time came to look for somewhere of my own.
Liliane searched for an estate agent with her pendulum. First of all, two addresses
were proposed; a number ‘11’ somewhere in Brest, and a number ‘22’ at Saint
Ronan. And so off we went to explore these two master-number properties. But the
Brest flat was a concrete construction – not very ecological and hardly conducive to
energetic practice – and the other flat was virtually derelict. From one extreme, and
century, to another. As we re-entered the estate agency, we heard the agent finish
their telephone conversation with a “Yes, that’s all right. I’ll see you tomorrow,
Madame de la Porte”! Two Madame de la Porte? This was too much of a
coincidence. And sure enough, an offer had just arrived for a flat in a castle not far
from Plabennec. We eagerly set off, me busily calculating the numerological value of
its name ; ‘Le Leuhan’, 33/6, or’ Château du Leuhan’ (‘The Leuhan Castle’), 55/1, -
both master numbers.
Never two without three...?
34
The 1st May 1882.
5 Leuhan Castle
Within no time we arrived before the entrance of what subsequently proved to
be an auspicious neo-gothic castle that inspired immediate respect. Liliane explained
that she had passed in front of the castle on several occasions without ever daring to
venture within through respect. According to her, the two red lions on either side of
the imposing gateway represented the sun and the moon in the alchemical process of
'transmutation'; symbols of the opposing yet mutually interdependent facets of Man's
nature that await reconciliation. They were a symbolic indication that the castle
beyond, veiled by the portal's imposing protection, contained the knowledge of the
‘Great Work’.
There were eight vertically interlaced circles inscribed on either side of the
gateway. The circles of Venus linking its eight-year cycle of rings around the Sun
and Earth, creating the pattern of a flower with five petals: that of the Tudor Rose. I
had drawn the eighth Tarot card 'Justice', symbolising perfection, that had announced
my imminent meeting with Liliane, my destiny and with myself. At the time, I was
35
oblivious of its symbolic and premonitory implications that, like me, were awaiting
to seek the light of day:
“Justice was thus an invitation to faultless introspection, to plunge into the
present. This arcane breaks free from traditional representation of Justice with its
closed eyes , its gaze meeting our own like a mirror, like a call to awareness.
Above all, it involves the need to do justice to oneself, to give oneself one’s just
desserts.”
(Alexandre Jodorowsky. Marianne Costa. La Voie du Tarot.
Ed. Albin Michel. 2004. p181)
The potential unification of body and mind is symbolised in this card by the
four fingers that represent thought, emotions, desires and corporal needs – which in
rejoining the thumb invoke quintessence – Man. It is this hand that holds the balance,
the future was in the balance! Man’s future. A future intimately linked to their past,
the signs of which are already engraved here in stone in the plaque inscribed in
Breton:
AN TI MAN A ZO BET SAVET
HERVEZ VA MENNOZ HA SPERRET
ME IANN BURNETT STEARS.
AR MEAN KENTA A ZO BET AZEZET, D’ANN DEIZKENTA A MIZ MAE
1882,
GANT VA BRIED
BAITRIS DENIS A KEREDERN A TROBRIAND.
LACROIX MESTR MEDHEROUR GOIZIEK
HA VICTOR LA PIERRE KISELLER A SKIANT
AZO BET KARGET EUX AL LABOUR.
RA VEZA BENNOZ DOUE VA RE HA VA BUGALE,
EVEL MEO BET WAR-N-HON HA WAR VA ZUD COZ.
THIS HOUSE WAS BUILT
IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY IDEA AND INTENTION BY
MYSELF, JOHN BURNETT STEARS.
THE FIRST STONE WAS POSED ON THE FIRST OF MAY 1882
36
BY MY WIFE
BÉATRICE DENISE DE KEREDERN DE TROBRIAND.
LACROIX MASTER OF THE OEUVRE
AND VICTOR LA PIERRE EXPERIENCED SCULPTOR
WERE COMMISSIONED TO ACCOMPLISH THE WORK.
MAY MY SOUL AND THOSE OF MY CHILDREN BE BLESSED BY THE LORD
AS IT WAS FOR ALL OF MY ANCESTERS.
The words inscribed on the plaque served as a visible reminder and invitation
to any passer-by to visit their own internal temple, to discover their true inner self.
An invitation that remains as invisible to the profane eye as these words in Breton
remain unintelligible to the common mind. The ‘Knowledge’, Gnosis is available for
all to see but goes largely unnoticed (un-gnosis?) on a conscious level. But while the
mind may well ignore the invitation to partake in the symbolic feast that is proposed
by many a village chapel, stone henge and county cathedral, the soul continues to
avidly nourish itself with sage appreciation with each visit. Liliane and I accepted the
invitation and passed beneath to arrive entranced before the regal castle. As I stepped
out of Liliane’s car a white cat (“Sweetie”) shot out of the surrounding woods only to
screech to a halt before settling down on my feet! We looked at one another: this was
the place!
The imposing castle towered above the surrounding park that was richly
endowed with lush vegetation and eternal oak, horse chestnut, beech and tulip trees.
Ominous granite statues adorned the parapets, evoking those to be found at Notre
Dame Cathedral in Paris, while two winged dogs mounted guard at the feet of the
stone steps leading up to the entrance. Stained glass windows with alchemical
designs completed the first summary appraisal.
“John” was back. I was now forty-seven years old. John Stears left the castle
in 1888 at the age of forty-six. ‘Leuhan’ stands for ‘John’s place’ in Breton. So, here
I was, back in John’s place or Yann’s (Burnett Stears’) place. John Stears was a
Scotsman born in Brittany. I am a ‘Scott’, with Scottish, Irish (because the ‘Scot’
clan came originally from Ireland), Welsh (on my mother’s side, as we are
descendants of the Tudor Family), and English or British origins - a ‘grand Breton’!
According to the ‘Petit Robert’ (N.B. a French dictionary), the parish of Leuhan is
'VICaria Luhan'. 'Vicaire', from the Latin vicarius, which stands for 'substitute'.
“God’s substitute, Saint Pierre”. The word ‘Leuhan’ comes from the ancient Breton
word ‘luh’, which stands for lake or pool, and ‘an’ which refers to ‘Loch-Yann' –
John’s place. Indeed, at the end of the Nineteenth Century the most beautiful lake in
the whole of Finistère adjoined the castle. And the word ‘loch’ in Scottish refers to
the Breton word ‘Luh’ - lake! And so it was that the Scottish John found himself in
John’s place, loch-Yann, next to a lake, loch, ‘lac’, ‘étang’!
37
The Scott clan adopted the word “AMO...” as its motto, which is Latin for “I
love...”. The heraldic iris (fleurs-de-lis) and the thistle both figure on their insignia:
“My ancestors came from France and Scotland.
The iris and the thistle : my language and my name.”
I noticed that there were seven ‘fleurs-de-lis’ carved in stone on either side of
the stairway leading up to the castle front door. If the ‘fleurs-de-lis’ is a symbol of
purity, it is also the emblem of French Royalty, and an indication of the healing
powers that were attributed to it in the past, as well as featuring prominently in both
in English and Scottish Crown jewels:
“The treasured fleur-de-luce he claims
To wreathe his shield, since royal James.”
(Sir Walter Scott. The Lay of the Last Minstrel.)
(N.B. While they featured fleur-de-lis, the Tudor family did not incorporate its
personal arms into the Royal arms of England unlike other Royal dynasties.)
Following the realisation of the Tarot’s prediction preceding my meeting with
Liliane, I began to note down carefully the flurry of messages emanating from her.
She suggested:
“Try and understand the various allegories you encounter and compare them. It’s
up to you to fathom their meaning. They are incommunicable. The book of life
is to be found in Nature. Open your heart and your mind and...you’ll understand.
And the rose shall blossom on the cross.”
(Liliane, the 5th November 1997)
I read later the Fulcanelli’s words:
“The heraldic ‘fleur de lys’ corresponds, in fact, to the ‘hermetic rose’. Joined
to the cross, it serves, as does the rose, as motto and arms for the practising
knight having, by the grace of God, realized the ‘Philosophical Stone’.”
(Fulcanelli. 2/Les Demeures Philosophales. Ed. Pauvert. 1979. p. 19)
In order for the rose to flourish on the cross, I would have to reveal and
understand what had been ‘hidden’ or occulted, follow the clues, plunge deep down
into the source of knowledge inscribed at hand in this privileged context, pregnant
enclosure of occult signs... and stone. And to realise the Philosophers Stone, to place
the rose on the cross, I first had to seek within the elements (sero) and awaken the
principle of movement (eros).
I realised that in drawing a cross, and distributing the four letters of the word
‘rose’ in each corner, a magical square was created. The sum of each horizontal or
vertical theosophical addition being 21, symbolically represented by the two red
lions at the castle entrance – one semi-recumbent, female principle/ ‘yin’ (2), and the
other upright, male principle ‘yang’ (1). Intuition (2) and Reason (1), the passive and
active forces symbolising the anima and the animus, the two brain hemispheres (left
38
rational, right intuitive) seeking their respective expression at the heart of the same
structure, dated 1882.
R O S E
E S O R
*
S E R O
O R E S
Reading clockwise ‘around’ this square creates a cyclical effect that re-
invokes the message inscribed in the Scott Arms with its ‘moon - sun – moon’ (past-
present-future) descending from left to right. This is less an indication of the linear
passage in time than that of a cyclical or spiral effect of time. Dawn, sunrise, dusk
and sunset are only such when considered from a fixed point of view. The same
applies to the ages of Man; all past, present and future are contained in one and the
same instant. And just as our DNA contains information pertaining to so-called
previous generations - lived in 'parallel' fashion and thereby simultaneously - so too
do these previous generations continue to express themselves in the present through
us into, and from the future:
“Time, space and perception are intimately intertwined. Science and physics
have already lent credence to the 'theory' that time is not linear in nature as once
thought. The mechanics of quantum physics present a solid argument for the
curvature of time and the possibility of “times” coexisting in overlay
formation...one sequence of events being superimposed over others and each
functioning within their own “coordinate pattern” or frequency band.”
(Ashayana Deane, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001. p.2)
The above ‘square’ contains a white cross within it, the centre of which like
all crosses unites the four cardinal points: north – east – south – west, which are
nonetheless by definition supposed to denote four different directions. In the same
way past, present and future lives could be symbolised by the spokes of a wheel, the
multidimensional hub of which unites all spatial and temporal expressions
39
simultaneously in one immutable central spot:
“ * ”
Seven steps led down to the basement flat, which was part of the original
kitchen. The seven steps of the neophyte! It was dank and dark and so small you
could barely swing a top in it, let alone a cat. There were just two rooms and a tiny
shower closet. I shivered while Liliane exclaimed how perfect it was and how it was
exactly what I needed! “Really? Oh well, if you insist!” She must have seen
something in it that escaped my attention. (A parallel world containing wondrous,
untold riches that somehow escaped my consciousness?) My heart sunk a little
deeper, but I took her word for it... and the flat!
Liliane wasted no time returning to energetically 'clean' the flat by burning
camphor and candles to accompany her ritual. The message had been right; she was
quite feeble and was no longer in good health. This kind of operation was exhausting
for her and when she staggered out ashen-faced and tumbled to the ground I knew
what I had to do. I had already prepared a supply of water and I immediately started
my healing work. When she had regained her senses she explained that there had
been a death where my bathroom was now situated. Liliane had heard the culprit
excusing himself, wailing that he hadn’t intended to “go that far”.
Liliane had previously devoted a whole afternoon passing all of my
belongings through the pendulum test: keep or give away to Africa? “Is this really
necessary?” I had asked myself, as I watched a lifetime’s belongings falling beneath
the self-appointed ‘auctioneer’s hammer! Each book, each ounce of life with its
associated memories, underwent the pendulum test right down to the last quantum. I
was writhing around in a semi-distraught state, waving adieu to large chunks of my
past. Virtually everything that I owned was, by now, jostling in some sea-faring
container plying its passage to Sao Tomé. Was this the price to pay for embarking
upon the quest for self-knowledge and understanding? Apparently so. This particular
exercise left me feeling (very nearly literally and) metaphorically speaking naked,
and it left me feeling emotionally exhausted for several weeks to come.
The landlord, Jean-Pierre, provided me with a bed and one of these old-
fashioned (and damp!) lumpy mattresses, together with an assortment of dilapidated
furniture, and I was able to move in. It was the 2nd
. November 1997, the beginning of
the Celtic year called Samhaïn.
“Read little, think much!” Liliane said. Well, I didn’t have much choice,
having given away hundreds of books thanks to the assiduous and uncompromising
application of her pendulum’s edicts. And within a matter of days Liliane had a
message that I was to discover some stones. Hidden stones. But how would I know
which stones, and where? No need to worry, she said, just keep your eyes open,
that’s all. Well, I could just about manage that. I noted all of this all down in my little
pad, together with countless ‘messages’ and various other fragments of information.
And a few days later, I almost literally stumbled across a stone. A square inch of it
was visible in the bank alongside a path next to the proprietor’s garden. I started
40
scraping around it and eventually went to fetch a spade to dig further. Three hours
later, I telephoned Liliane excitedly.
- No, no, she replied, reading her cards as she spoke. No, it’s not the right place;
that stone indicates the position of an ancient Druidic cemetery. You’ll find them
near the river...
Seven days after my arrival at the castle, I found myself in a visibly
unfrequented sector of the park. It was overgrown with laurel palm trees that
leapfrogged across the ground reproducing roots along the way and streams of
brambles as impenetrable as any self-respecting jungle. In the midst of a thicket, I
came across a massive, curvaceous stone that was later to assume the shape of a
whale emerging from the depths. There was a ridge like a backbone engraved in the
stone several feet in length. As I climbed up to view the surroundings, I became
aware of two oaks trees, seemingly stranded in an ocean of nettles, brambles and
wild grass inviting further research. I struggled my way towards them, cutting and
stinging my arms along the way. As I reached them I discovered that they were
perched upon a stone, like an eagle awaiting flight. A stone! Beyond was a glint of
water – the river! This was the beginning, the first of many discoveries. It was time
to telephone Liliane again.
She had said that I would find some stones and here they were; irrefutable
proof of the validity of her predictions and of the existence not only of the invisible
worlds but also of our continual liaison with the spiritual entities that occupied them!
There was no other way that Liliane could have had prior knowledge of the existence
of these stones in the clearing. No one could have imagined for a moment what had
been lying hidden beneath their feet here for centuries. Who would have thought
what was about to be revealed? Liliane. “Yes, that’s it! You’ve found the place.”
These messages that continued to divulge further information regarding their location
and their significance:
“Magical clearing. Deliberately formed on a lower level. Particularly active in
springtime. Druids: priests et priestesses. Chanting vis-à-vis the sun.... An
astronomic, divination and healing site (with) direct contact with the invisible
worlds. The clearing emits as far as the chapel at Loc Mazé. The 'Fountain of
Youth' stone and the smaller 'Youth Stone'... No place for huntsmen. Specific
celebration at the Summer Solstice related to the Milky Way: a great priestess...
Stones in the river... An area linked to the Cosmos...Site more powerful than a
cathedral....”
“Survivors from Atlantis were here...”
“Some of the stones are hot. All the elements are given. “Love Clearing.”
In no time Liliane arrived to inspect the discoveries. The moment she saw the
‘whale’, she burst into tears. -It’s the 'Wivver’s Back', she exclaimed. I never thought
I’d see that in my lifetime. She explained that it was an indication of the presence of
powerful, Cosmo-telluric magnetic energy common to all ancient initiation sites. In
41
the Middle Ages, such lines were said to be inhabited by Nature’s Spirits, the
World’s soul or ‘anima mundi’. The presence of powerful telluric energy was often
symbolised by dragons and serpents - the ‘vouivre’ for the Celt. Sometimes it was
referred to as being a kind of fairy-dragon that rendered the earth more dynamic,
attracting and nourishing the forces of nature, the ‘elementals’. Correspondingly, the
symbolic presence of eagles or of stags, (for example, the deer that is featured on the
Scott Family arms), was an indication of solar, cosmic energies by these animals that
represented emissaries from above. In other cultures, the deer indicates shamanism.
“Telluric work is employed in China with extreme precision, going as far as
modelling entire country-sides in accordance with the “Dragon’s Veins”, both of
which the Pa-Koua “Magic” and the Yi-Jing are expressions. Greek tradition and
its cult of Dionysus (Shiva’s twin brother), Egypt, that managed to manipulate
telluric forces by those amazing machines known as the pyramids, the Celt with
their standing stones, terrestrial acupuncture and magical places? What can we
say about the pre-Colombian civilisations, the Incas, The Chinese, the Olmecs,
Toltecs, Maya, Aztec with their temples, their pyramids... The Wivver, the
serpent, the snake, the dragon are present in all of these sacred places, tamed by
the adepts in the interests of therapy and knowledge.”
(Pierre Manourey. Encyclopédie de chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. 2006. p. 129)
Wivver comes from the Latin ‘vipera’, the viper or serpent (guivre), but also from
the Latin word ‘vivere’ – to live. The ‘Wivver’s back’ marks the presence of a
particularly strong telluric energy current or “life-line”. Just as concentrated energy
travels along meridian lines within the human body, the Wivver’s back indicates the
passage of energy along their terrestrial counterparts. And it is in these highly
charged, sacred places, where magnetic telluric energy meets cosmic energy, that the
manifestation of intuition becomes particularly propitious.
“It is mediumnity that shall draw you together. The Wivver shall speak to you.
You (Liliane) are going to leave soon, to rejoin your love. Myriam is going to
fly! She’s going to take a giant’s step. None of you suspect what’s awaiting you
because, for the three of you, (John, Adrène and Myriam), the path is beautiful
and luminous.”
“You (John) are proud of your discoveries and every time you can hardly wait
for the ‘Young One’, to show her. She has taught you about the ‘wivver’. She’ll
show you all the healing areas.”
(Notebook. November 1997)
I started to work every day in the clearing. First of all I cleared away tons of
brambles, and laurel palm. I then set out on a journey that would last several years to
discover the stones. Literally 'dis-cover'! I realised that by working deeper and
deeper under the Earth’s surface I was delving into my own murky depths: “Visita
Interiora Terrae Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem Veram Medicinam”, or
literally speaking: ‘Visit Earth’s interior parts and through rectification find the
hidden (philosopher’s) healing stone. “Man knoweth thyself”, in a nutshell. As with
the stones then, first of all I had to clear my way around before beginning to dig
42
deeper in order to reveal the stones and put a new light on the situation. I was
surprised to note that, regardless of the depth, sunlight invariably managed to pierce
through the surrounding trees at some point in the day to greet the stones, which
were sometimes located more than a yard beneath the earth’s surface.
At different times of the day the sun also lit up the hamadryad inside an
enormous, hollow, sempiternal oak that assumed the role of the clearing’s Guardian.
A hamadryad grows inside the tree; a dryad on the tree’s outer surface. In Greek and
Roman mythology it refers to a nymph who lives in a tree and dies when the tree
dies. In fact, the hamadryad contains all of the information and memories pertaining
to the tree and to historical and contextual events that it has witnessed; a kind of
organic computer!. It's not for nothing that you may experience a sense of awe in the
presence of a 'wise old oak tree; ''druid' being the proto-celtic word; for 'oak-knower'!
‘Dryad’ stands for Druidess.
It was as though with the discovery of each stone, a layer of the veiled
ignorance that slumbered within me was brought to light. This didn’t stop me from
frequently asking myself : What are you doing here? What are all of these stones
here for? What’s the purpose of it all? I had already had some answer from Liliane,
one of which dated back to the times of Attila: “You were once a Chief under Attila.
You destroyed everything. You tore down stones...” I weighed up these words with
the weight of each spade-full of the past. I had the impression that it was I who had
buried these stones during another epoch. According to Liliane, and later on
Ghislaine and Ladanum, I had been there at their inception.
Why else would I have come to rediscover them today? I was tempted to say
‘obviously’ and ‘so what’. How had I been drawn to this precise place? And, once
there, why begin to dig so far and so deep into my energetic and physical resources
in search of these stones lost beneath the earth? I couldn’t prove in a scientifically
valid manner that I had already been here thousands of years before. But then,
neither could a scientist prove the contrary... nor anyone else for that matter! But I
could prove that someone - who up until then was unknown to me, someone who,
like countless others for hundreds of years had no idea that the stones were there -
was able to inform me of their presence and predict their discovery, solely due to
messages received from the invisible worlds via her mediumistic capacities,
moreover, with live witnesses to boot!
So, the invisible worlds exist... until proof to the contrary! Who could
seriously claim that we only ‘live’ life once, and that’s all? That would mean
confusing the temporal passage of the human body with that of the soul that inhabits
it, driving a bit further towards perfection, a bit nearer to the place where all shade
gives way to luminosity, where all veils recede to reveal things in their true light. But
first there’s work to be done on the organisation of emotions, deeds and thoughts.
And although our thoughts are invisible, despite ‘appearances’ (sic) they are
correspondingly more significant in their impact upon life. Our cells ‘hear’
everything that we think and say and they adapt themselves accordingly. Each cell
has its own intelligence and takes into consideration each and every influence. They
are the guardians of our memory, stocking each iota of experience deep within us for
43
future reference. And sooner or later, shades of the past resurface to expose
themselves to the light of day. Nothing is lost. Nothing disappears forever. Like these
buried stones beneath the clearing.
I wouldn’t say that I was really happy all of this time. But despite periodic
lulls in enthusiasm, little by little I began to get my teeth into things. I became
increasingly 'active' instead of simply enduring things, instead of continuing with
interminable (and almost reassuring by their familiarity!) plaints: - Why am I here?;
- Why can’t I be happy like everyone else? I had a tendency to presume, (thereby
deciding on behalf of others without consulting them), that they were happy. It was a
convenient way for me sympathize with and to justify my own sorry state. And I
probably wasn’t the only one, was I? But this is all too easy: to take others as
hostages to justify our own predicament. There was really no excuse for it,
particularly as my previous experience of working in socio-educative contexts had
taught me that the majority of people were everything but happy with their lives.
At times I had the experience of living a profound communion with the
surrounding elements, a feeling of ephemeral unification that seemed to hark back to
some distant past in which everyone lived each instant as if it were part of an integral
'whole' devoid of exclusion. The other times when I asked myself: - Why am I here? I
implicitly presupposed a separation between myself and the underlying unity of all
things. Every one of us harbours the notion of paradise; everyone wants to be loved.
Everyone. The Collective Consciousness or common memory of this ‘lost paradise’
is testimony to this underlying unity. A unity less broken than simply occulted by the
overpowering presence of the ego’s fears that are alimented by its unquenchable
appetite for auto-satisfaction leading to frustration, separation and a sense of
incompleteness. And more fear...
Is this our lot? Not definitively. A long time ago we were destined to be
Gods, or 'Divine Humans', who came to Earth and progressively materialised from a
more etheric state before deciding at one point to play around with this concept
called ‘duality’. We had to separate ourselves from Unity and from our ‘Godliness’
in order to experiment all of the possibilities that duality/polarity could provide. We
became so engrossed with playing this role that, eventually, we became the part,
losing sight of our origins and of our more expansive, original 'creator' role thereby
eventually finding ourselves accepting a more limited sphere of action and
comprehension. We forgot that we were also the so-called author and producer of the
play – not just a one-role actor! Of course, as you may well imagine were helped to
do this by some far from philanthropic occult forces that, even today (N.B. in 2009),
are trying desperately hard to keep us from recognizing our own inherent,
fundamental divinity. The trouble is that, having strayed so far from the memory and
tacit awareness of universal consciousness for so many centuries, there is now a
tendency to consider ourselves as being independent of others right from the start. To
identify ourselves in terms of our 'differences', instead of recognizing and
reconnecting to the underlying unification of all things. The classical scientific
approach to life... Worlds apart!
It was at times like this in the clearing that I reconnected with Nature and
44
Earth’s frequencies. This is what occurs during a healing session. The healer
becomes connected to the Earth’s resonance and then relays its unifying influence to
the person (or people) in question. This is the harmonic interchange that coexists
between stones, trees, rivers, birds, earth...and us! Timelessness: a world away from
the unreal, so-called “reality” of illusion.
“You’ll find a tree among your stones, it’s a healing tree. You need to clear
away as far as the river, including around the two trees and the healing stone. All
you need leave is some grass, a few flowers but no big bushes.”
(William Walter Scott. November 1997)
The Cosmic Tree, the 'axis mundi', the link between Heaven and Earth and
the healing ‘philosopher’s stone'... Work in the clearing became the pursuit of the
“Occultum Lapidem Veram Medicinam”, the hidden philosopher’s stone, true healing
source, a search for the Love that lies hidden within, around, above and behind all of
the appearances and social conventions of this character that we inhabit. For, as Paul
Sédir said:
“The essential characteristic of the human being is not the faculty to
understanding, but the faculty to love.”
(Paul Sédir. Les Amitiés Spirituelles. Bibliothèque des Amitiés Spirituelles.)
45
46
6 Multidimensional synchronicities
As soon as Jean-Pierre realised that I was a healer, he took me around in his
car showing me various properties that he owned and offered to lend me the one of
my choice for as long as it took for me to “settle in”. At Lanorven there was an old
cottage next to a chapel and a nearby source with its ancient ‘lavoir’, an ancient
public wash-tub. Opposite were the derelict remains of a blacksmith’s workshop and
stables. An external stairway of stone steps behind the cottage provided access to the
first floor. I cleared away (more!) nettles and brambles, and painted the window
shutters in Breton blue, and the 'Blue Windows' was born. I later discovered the
foundations and remaining ruins of the former monastery, or 'lann'. Lanorven was
named after 'Owen', a priest of Welsh origin: ‘Orven’s monastery’.
Jean-Marc was the first person to come for healing at the 'Blue Windows', on
the 18th
. February, 1998; my maternal grand-father was born on the 18th
. February
1890. John Stears father died on the 2nd
. November 1881 at Saumur. I moved into the
castle on the 2nd
. November 1997 and a subsequent (all-important) letter of
resignation to the Intersidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars, was dated
the 2nd
. November 2006.
In the year 2001, I created an Association called ‘Heson Oabl Ha Douar’
(Harmony, Heaven and Earth) and the official conformation letter from the
prefecture of police was dated the 16th
July 2001. My father, “Scottie”, was born on
the 16th
July 1912. In 2007, I modified the association’s name from ‘Heson Oabl Ha
Douar’ to the French equivalent of ‘Harmonie, Ciel et Terre’ and the relevant official
receipt arrived on the 16th
January 2007. The 16th
January 1888 was the date upon
which John Stears died. Still in 2007, a few details were lacking in order to confirm
the modification of the association’s 'objective'. The Departmental Police
Headquarters reply was dated the 23rd
February - my birth date.
As some signatures were missing on my original demand for the change in
the association’s object, a second receipt was returned on the 23rd
February, the
receipt of the initially incomplete modifications having been dated the 6th
January
2007. So, what was the significance of this date? Béatrice Isabelle Stears, - the eldest
daughter of John Stears and the only one of his four children who survived long
enough to ensure the family lineage by marrying Stephen Malpeste, a descendant of
Joan of Arc, - was born on the 6th
January1872. And what of Joan of Arc? Was she
not born, also, on the 6th
January in 1412, some 500 years before Scottie?
The evolution of linear time, like that of this association, was punctuated by a
series births and deaths followed by renaissances. Double birth of Scottie and of the
Breton named association ‘Heson’ (‘He’, ’son’ – Scottie’s son, John) on the 16th
July. Renaissance of the association now named ‘Harmony’, and death of John
Stears, both on the 16th
January. Coupled with the twin birth of the association’s new
47
objective together with that of its subject, John Scott, on the 23rd
February.
Confirmation of the association’s various modifications en route – subject and
object; form and content – juxtaposed by the twin birth on the 6th
January of Joan of
Arc and of Béatrice Stears. John, too, is a twin.
From Scottie’s date of birth (the 16th
July), and the decease of John Stears,
(six months apart, on the 16th
January), to the renaissance, the reincarnation, the
same soul is exposed in a new form on the same date of birth as John Scott – the 23rd
February! The association kept the same “soul” then, while modifying its original
name from H E S O N, the letters of which marry together harmoniously. The square
‘H’, symbol of the Earth, evoking at the same time the cyclical passage of time
through the initials (in French) of the four cardinal points: E (east/est); S (south/sud);
O (west/ouest); and N (north/north): H-eson. John Stears left the castle at the age of
46; John Scott arrived at the age of 47...
One day, a psychic called Marie-Thérèse came to the 'Blue Windows'. During
the healing session, her great-grandfather manifested himself to her, as he often did
on such occasions. He told her: - Ah, I see that the Englishman is back! After the
session she was perplexed at first and then she asked me where I lived. When I
explained that I lived at Leuhan Castle she immediately understood. Her great-
grandfather had been the Head gardener there in John Stears’ day. He had recognized
me! I asked her if she had ever lived in England. Yes, she replied; her first job had
been in south-west England. Mine too. - Whereabouts in south-west England? In
Devon? Me too. But whereabouts exactly in Devon? In a small village called
Shebbear, she answered. My first job was as a teacher in Buckland House School is
also located in Shebbear parish! Several years earlier her personal psychic had
predicted that a healer called ‘Scott’ would treat both her and her son...
Simple coincidences? Shortly afterwards, I was talking with Marie-Thérèse
on the telephone when somebody came to knock at her door. - That must be Gerald
Schwarneck. Gerald was the father of Rose Mateh’s son, with whom I had lived and
worked with at Presles-en-Brie! What a small world, you might say. Marie-Thérèse
explained that during the Second World War a fighter pilot had crash-landed in her
garden. And the pilot’s name was, of course, Scott...
Synchronicity is the occurrence of two events that have no apparent causal
link, but which their association assumes significance for the person experiencing
them. To a certain extent, not to believe in synchronicity is to deny credence to one’s
own intuition. What is known as ‘hazard’ is quite simply something or an event that
cannot be scientifically, logically or rationally explained at the time of its occurrence.
But then, where does ‘hazard’ come from? What is the ‘rational’ origin of hazard and
of coincidence? For all phenomena in a so-called rational world would require a
coherent and logical explanation. Or does this mean that there are two realities. On
the one hand, a reality that is self-explanatory and which is governed by logical and
rational terms, and on the other hand, another world that, despite demonstrating
irrefutable proofs of its existence, remains non-existent in the eyes and words of our
so-called rationalists. A world that remains for them, inexplicable, unreal and...non-
existent?
48
The only rational explanation for paranormal phenomena lies in the proof of its
existence. And this proof was forthcoming in a series of situations that I was
privileged to witness. Firstly, there was a situation concerning two individual
psychics, unknown to one another and one of whom I had never previously met, that
provided a coherent and logical link between myself and my (by that time) deceased
father “Scottie”. In 2002 my good friend Laetitia discovered that she had psychic
capacities. She could transcribe messages from the invisible worlds onto her
computer with her eyes closed in answer to questions. I invited her round to the
castle and she noticed a photograph of Scottie on my desk. I explained that Scottie
had never been able to express openly his love for us children during his lifetime.
Suddenly, Laetitia began typing furiously on the computer keyboard:
- Yes that’s right. But I’m working on it now! exclaimed Scottie!
Seven years later in October 2006, I met Marie-Christine at the Plabennec
dojo for the first and only time that she took part in one of my qi gong groups. At the
end of the evening she remained chatting for a couple of hours. She mentioned that
recently she had become aware of psychic capacities that she was beginning to
develop. As she regained her car she was contacted by a certain “Scottie” who
insisted upon the importance of contacting me with a message. The following day
she telephoned me more than a little perplexed by Scottie’s insistence, for as far as
she was concerned the content of his message was perfectly normal coming from a
father to his son. The message was short and succinct, but it spoke long:
- I love you!
On the 7th
October 2007, two psychics - Nathalie and Alette - came to the
castle to meet me and to rectify something that had occurred in the clearing during
the Middle Ages. They recounted that at this time I had been a Druid there and that
they had been my sons. According to them, Alette had given away one of my spells
to the Forces of darkness. A restoration ritual was duly performed together in the
clearing. Today, Nathalie and Alette are authors of a book recounting this and other
missions undertaken throughout France. In other words, here we have three people –
John, Nathalie and Alette – who have known one another in the same place - in the
clearing - at two different epochs, in the 3rd
and 21st centuries. Furthermore, they
have written quite independently two narratives of distinct orientation - 'AmO...' and
'Deux.' - relating to exactly the same people for completely different reasons in
exactly the same place.
The Medical Council does not officially recognize the existence of bio-
energetic healing, (N.B. human or animal magnetism), a practice nonetheless that has
been employed since the beginning of time. A cursory glance at many an Egyptian
figure is enough to reveal the illustrated allusion to magnetic ‘passes’. At best, the
Medical Council concedes that it provides an indication of the presence of the
placebo effect. Does this mean that we can conclude that the placebo effect concerns
only ‘alternative medicine’ and not allopathic medical practice? And if so, by which
implicit and infinite means does the placebo effect intervene solely where alternative
medicine is concerned? Does the placebo effect spontaneously abstain in the
49
presence of allopathic medicine, refusing to thus influence their results? And if so,
how can this be demonstrated in a logically acceptable rational manner?
If a psychic predicts that you will fall over and break your leg next Tuesday,
and this duly occurs, this will be interpreted as being due to hazard or purely
coincidental for the scientifically inclined. However, if science postulates that it is
going to rain next Tuesday, and it does, this is then interpreted as being scientific
meteorological proof!
The scientific principal whereby the truth is sought by examining what
differentiates one thing from another is paradoxical to say the least. How can one
hope to establish a comprehensive and unified vision of the World by basing one’s
investigations upon the pursuit of ‘difference’? There appears to be a fundamental
reticence by official scientific investigation to accept the notion of an underlying, all-
powerful Force or Spirit to all phenomena. Leibniz wrote: “Reality cannot be found
except in One single source, because of the interconnection of all things with one
another.” Furthermore:
“Anyone seriously engaged in scientific research acquires the conviction that a
Spirit manifests itself in the Laws of the Universe – a Spirit that is
incommensurately superior to that of Man.”
(Albert Einstein. 1936)
The very act of questioning the existence of this supernatural intelligence –
God, for example – implicitly implies the underlying presence of this intelligence.
For it is only this very source of intelligence that renders it being called into question
possible! Where does the thought impulsion that precedes the statement “God does
not exist” come from? Behind the assertion of the non-existence of this supreme
intelligence lies the existence of the notion of this supreme intelligence without
which such thoughts could not be expressed. Implacable logic! For what else is the
logical explanation for the atoms’ dance or the joyful games of luminous beams?
“Whether it involves studies establishing the possibility for several atoms to
coexist in exactly the same place at the same time without colliding, or
whether...(...) tele-transmission of a beam of light (dismantled then subsequently
reconstituting the beam in another place), or the “twin photon” phenomenon
(two unities of light created from the same source) each one adapting identical
behaviour despite being separated by several miles, the last few years of the
Twentieth Century has shown that the very foundation of our perception of the
world has been subject to spectacular transformation.”
(Gregg Braden Le Code de Dieu. Ed. Ariane. 2004. p. 203-4)
And just as several atoms can coexist in the same place simultaneously, so
too does time, which is conventionally presented as “passing” from 'past' through
'present' to the 'future' in a linear fashion:
“Time exists as a Unified Field of particles pulsating at various rhythms and
spinning on various angles of rotation, through which the illusions of manifest
50
space and linear time appear to individual identities, as they bring segments of
the Unified Field of particle substance into view by moving their consciousness
through portions of the Unified Field. Time does not move. Consciousness
moves itself through the Unified Field of the Time Matrix.”
(Ashayana Deane,Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 pp. 147-8)
In other words:
“Movement through time is frequency accretion. The manifest illusion you
perceive before your eyes is, in reality, a Unified Field of frequency composed
of energy particle substance in the form of digital, electro-tonal thought patterns.
Everything and person outside of yourself, including your own body, and the
contents of your conscious mind at that moment point, exist as energy imprints
within the Unified Field of that now-moment.”
(Op;cit. p. 152)
The present manifest moment consists , and is composed of, the thought-
forms of our past and future selves, together with the thought-form that we currently
hold. (Well, it's just a thought!). Our point of view depends, precisely, upon our...
point of view. For example, viewed from one aspect, an unsharpened pencil assumes
the form of a circle. Viewed sideways, it is an elongated rectangle. And viewed from
a different perspective again, it is seen to be a tubular, three-dimensional structure.
All of these ‘points of view’ are correct in themselves. But here, as in scientific
research, we are limiting ourselves to information gleaned by our five senses whereas
there are other ways of understanding our world, (with the potential use of seven
additional senses...but that's another story:).
“The essential characteristic of the human being is not the faculty to
understanding, but the faculty to love. Love acts within us before Intelligence.
To consciously understand something, we must first unconsciously love this
thing... Everything in the Universe is Love. Everything is born out of Love;
everything returns to Love, following innumerable vicissitudes amidst the
realms of Hatred. The struggle for life is essential Love’s school. Beings pass
from an initial state of ignorant bliss to a definitive state of beatitude, conscious
and omnipresent, thanks to multiple workings the combined sum of which
constitutes universal life and individual existences. All of this takes place on this
small terrestrial sphere, and also – why ever not? – on millions of other planets
that astronomers have not yet compiled the complete catalogue.”
(Paul Sédir. Les Amitiés Spirituelles. Bibliothèque des Amitiés Spirituelles.)
It is quite possible that we do not have the impression of being in love at each
instant; but Love is in us, whether we like it or not! Such words speak to our soul; to
“live” these words – universal love, pardon, and so on –constitutes the work of our
incarnated personality. The truth lies (sic!) in all things, and not in differentiation.
Unity as opposed to (but including!) disparity. Love without disdain. Unity of all
things without which the notion of Truth disintegrates for want of a certain number
of these “all things” and remaining incapable of representing “absolute truth”.
Nothing can be called Truth unless nothing is excluded. In other words, nothing
51
exists unless it includes, implicitly, its opposite. (Heads and tails!) They are at once
intimately linked, mutually exclusive and interdependent. Like in the Tao; the
feminine and masculine principles, the ‘yin’ and the ‘yang’, nourish one another as
they are complementary polarities of the same energy. While convention has it to call
yang ‘positive’ energy, and yin ‘negative’ energy, there is a temptation to overlook
the third, ‘neutral’ energy that underlines them both and which is represented by the
two ‘eyes’ and the line that ‘separates’ (or rather: unites!) the two polarities.
The same applies to the 'real' world in the definition of a country’s land or sea
frontier or boundaries. The closer we look into this question the more impossible it
becomes to determine. Which wave belongs where? Or which grain of sand
determines the ‘end’ of France and the beginning of Spain on this Basque beech?
(But of course; it belongs to the Basques!) It is impossible to define precisely the
frontier, a line that is supposed indicate the point of ‘difference’ between one nation
and another. 'Separations' or differentiation remain completely arbitrary. Millions of
water-drops constitute the same ocean. In the same way, millions of snowflakes
contribute to a snowstorm – each flake with its own specificity, a different
expression of the same thing. Each drop and flake representing a specific energetic
spectre or point of view of what is collectively our common reality - the world. And
as water functions like a magnetic band, capable of electromagnetically stocking
'information' from dissolved molecules as water’s memory, it provides another
example of unity among all things. There are no barriers between one water drop and
another, each one, like our bodily cells, containing all of the others’ information.
On the other hand, if we accept the premise that 'nothing' is due to hazard, we
can hope to advance towards the comprehension the non-exclusive “All” of unified
consciousness. And if at times we have the impression of being just a tiny little spot
in an immense Whole, this is simply our ego feeling sorry for itself again. But our
ego is simply the means to (but not) an “end in itself. The “I” with which I express
myself is common to us all, and re-joins all of the other 'I's in the world. Like the
water-drops or these words of Rimbaud: “I is someone else” (“Je est un autre.”)
“I am conscious of my body because I have become, myself, the body: this same
force of the conscious being which has created its own form, this representation.
I can only know what is myself; if I know others, it is because they too are
myself, because my being has assumed their apparently strange representations
as well as the one that is closest to my mental centre. All sensation, all sentient
act is also the same in essence, be it external or internal, physical or psychic.”
(Sri Aurobindo)
Liliane had moved on to another dimension, leaving me a bit like a fish out of
water. No more messages left me facing an ocean of uncertainty. Myriam mentioned
a psychic woman in Coat Meal called Corinne who received 'flashes'. I went to see
her. Corinne knew nothing about me, not even where I lived.
“You are going to go to a place where there’s lots of granite. You are like one of
these dressers with lots of drawers that we open; every time you discover
52
something, everyone benefits...”
(Corinne. The 30 July 1998.)
Well, you didn't need to be psychic to know that, because the castle was a
granite construction and there were plenty of stones in the clearing! But then Corinne
was unaware that I lived at Leuhan Castle. So was this a premonition regarding the
subsequent discoveries that were to be made in the clearing, combined with the value
of their released energies to the benefit of all? A cohabitant of the castle, Florence
Pinvidec, related a dream in which she met me in the tower which was upside down
in the dream, (in other words ‘underground’), carrying a big sac in my hands. - What
are you doing with that? she asked me. - I’m filling it up with as much happiness as
possible, before going on up to distribute it.”...
Corinne continued :
“There are some people who want to make life awkward for you...
John has two characters; he gives a lot; he’s a bear! There is someone else called
‘John’ in your family. Another John. You’ve carried your cross to Brittany.”
(Corinne. The 30th
. July 1998.)
It took me some time to understand this story of two Johns in the family. I
looked in the genealogical trees of both the Scott and Palmer families. Nothing.
Perhaps she referred to the link between John Stears and John Scott, on a soul level?
And then I remembered that John Stears’ father was also called John Stears. I had
noted down Corinne’s observations, which continued:
“...Druid. I can see someone...I don’t understand...like a druid standing on a
rock... A rounded stone, with a druid… with a druid upon it.”
I had a habit of standing on the rounded Wivver’s back each time that I went
down to the clearing. First Liliane, then others after her, told me that I had
rediscovered my place of old. And in October 2007, Nathalie and Alette were to
speak of the time when I had been a druid in the clearing...
“You have already been to Brittany before; wooden fortifications. Strange
swords – Middle Ages. Epidemic and famine. The English came this far. You
were half soldier, half brigand. Wound, battle scar... Foggy area, surrounding
forest. Confrontations...”
Since my arrival at the castle a scar had appeared on my forehead that was not
due to any incident in ‘this’ life. There had been encampments in the castle grounds
in the distant past and no doubt skirmishes with opposing forces based at Lesquelen,
barely two kilometres away. And then there was this reference to the ‘English’. Mere
coincidence? But coincidences do not exist, do they?
Corinne’s husband had mentioned the existence of three extra-ordinary
healers; Hector Durville and his two sons, Henri and Gaston (who had been also a
general medical practitioner), although according to him their publications were hard
53
to come by. As Liliane had told me not to read or to meet other healers, I merely
made a note of their name. They had become references for bio-energetic healing (as
it is sometimes known) since their time in the late 19th
and early 20th
Century. Three
years later in 2001, I was due to fly to England the afternoon of my birthday. I
decided to call into ‘Dialogues’ in Brest in the morning to see if I could find some
interesting reading to take with me. Descending the internal stairway I discovered to
my surprise a display in honour of the Durville trio, with numerous reproductions of
their works. In reading these ‘birthday’ presents, I was reassured to discover that
many of the movements that I had spontaneously adopted complied with those of the
Durville, as if their knowledge had somehow been directly impregnated in me.
Maybe I wasn’t so alone after all...
54
KEBIR.
7 True healing - AmO...
Vitrolium: ‘Visita interiora terrae rectificiandoque invenies occultum
lapidum viram medicinam.’ ‘Visit the interior of the earth, and by rectifying yourself
you will find the hidden stone which is the true medicine.’ Explore your inner depths
(the subconscious, together with the collective unconscious) within the earth (Man's
physicality) to discover your lost soul, which can then be transmuted and rectified
into your true, divine nature. In the beginning, Spirit descended into Matter; now it is
question of spiritualising matter to enable it ascend and re-join its divine Nature. A
process akin to that of 'Ascension' which, paradoxically, is equally a question of
descending – out of the head and into the heart!
55
Plunging down to the depths to explore the dark, murky areas hidden beneath.
Descent into earth’s nether regions to shed light on unresolved primeval influences.
“Light springs from the depths of darkness”, as Liliane had said. It took me a while
to draw a parallel between digging in the clearing and delving into my own depths. I
began to make associations between the carved stone, the castle’s statues and
gargoyles, and work around the stones in the clearing. I remembered Liliane’s
advice:
“Read little, think much! Try and understand the meaning of the various
allegories and compare them. It’s up to you to decipher the mysteries. No one
else can inform you...
The book of life is to be found in Nature. Look and listen. Open your heart and
your soul and you will understand.”
(The 5th
November 1997)
Allegories? As in the magnificent stone carving of the dog, whose collar indicated
his name: “KEBIR”. Kebir? The owner told me that he’d once had a donkey called
Kebir. Yes, but this was a dog, a greyhound. Greyhound translates as a ‘lévrier’ in
French and in the 'langue des oiseaux' (the 'language of the birds') it conceals:
“l’Oeuvre y est!” – “the alchemical Great Work is here!’ In Melancolia, Albrecht
Dûrer features a greyhound in between a sphere, the symbol of Divine perfection and
an imperfect polyhedron representing the petrifaction of the “Verb”. A greyhound
also features on the magnificent tomb of François II at Nantes cathedral, sculptured
in white marble:
“...the greyhound is the emblem that represents the- Messenger’s waiting and the
promise of achievement in times to come; it is the intercessor between Heaven
and Earth, that smuggles across invisible and visible frontiers, between the
eternal beyond the realms of human dimensions and the ephemeral history of
deeds, that increasingly become misdeeds and un-doings, where Reason sinks.”
(Lima de Freitas. 515 Le Lieu du Mirror. Ed. Albin Michel. 1993 p. 208)
Indeed, signs of the Great Work are to be found here. Man’s quest for
individuation involving the transformation of primal matter, impure man, into its
purest form. Here, right before my eyes! Like the Sphinx at Cheops, the guardian of
the underground passages that lead to the Initiation Temple, Kebir imposes itself as
the guardian of this unusual castle’s mysteries. A statue carved out of one solid block
of granite; the realisation of the squaring of the circle? Built like the castle itself in
accordance with the golden ratio. The noble greyhound’s head, with a dragon’s body,
lion’s claws and eagle’s wings – fire, water, earth, air:
Knowledge; Will; Dare; Be Silent.
Henri Durville wrote that the head represented human intelligence and
‘Knowledge’; the thighs and peaceful chest: ‘Will’; The lion’s claws spoke of force:
to ‘Dare’; and the un-deployed eagle's wings referred to the non-divulged secret that
they obscured: ‘Be silent’. Knowledge/Justice; Will/Temperance; Dare/Force; and
Be Silent/Prudence. Here was a symbolic representation the four elements and
56
cardinal points, assembled by the ‘golden mean’ in one configuration. A truly “great
work” in itself!
I was living under ground in the castle too at this time. The ground level was
situated at the same height as my solar plexus. So, here I was,’ visiting’ earth on a
daily basis, burrowing myself into the ground in the search for the hidden ‘sun’
buried within my depths, only to return at night to the similar depths beneath the
shade of the castle’s parapets. In order to reach many of the stones’ foundations in
the clearing, I had to dig to the same depth before the sun arrived to glisten in the
water between my feet. Like the fire glimmering red in the depths of the alchemist’s
still. The plexus solar is situated between head and feet, Man between Heaven and
Earth. Here I was, arrived at the zone of “rectification”, at the heart of the “matter”,
in all senses of the term.
I was delving into the realms of my ancestors, too, going deeper and deeper
into myself. Working on my past, in the present, for the future.
”You are an Atlantis who has returned to help your brother combat violence.
This is the way that you will re-join us and in which your capacities shall
develop. One day in the clearing, you will open your eyes and you will
communicate with us. You can obtain in this incarnation what the Young One
already possesses, for everything is within you. She is there to show you what
you are capable of realising. But it will be your choice. What are you defending
yourself against? If not yourself! In Atlantis, you chose power and manipulation
having first worked in Love. Now you have returned and can once again
influence others. Work in Love and non-violence. You are struggling against
yourself.”
(Message from William Walter Scott in 1997.)
I first came across Atlantis, (which some claim to have sunk into the Atlantic
Ocean in 28 000 B.C. following an Atlantis holocaust, before the remnants finally
disappeared due to flooding in 9 558 B.C.), in my early years of tentative research in
Orleans. The stones in the clearing, too, appeared to have been beneath the sea at one
point, for when I dug four or five feet beneath the surface in an attempt to reach
some of their foundations, I came across sand and clay beneath the soil and stones
and I smelt the distinctive odour of seaweed, of iodine. Liliane had said that I would
“reach the sea” in the clearing.
“This site was DELIBERATELY BURIED: it is the bearer of considerable
KNOWLEDGE. You need to ask permission before digging further. Get in
touch with the spirits in place and ask them what needs to be transmitted.”
(Ghislaine, on the 12th
December 2000.)
Layers of compressed grass protected the larger stones, followed by a series
of stones compacted together and increasing in size, the further they became from the
stone. It was as though they had been deliberately protected against the eventual
arrival of the sea at this point. Megalithic mummification? Just like the Sphinx,
which also exhibits distinct signs of sea erosion. But why protect the stones? And
57
who was responsible? Me, no doubt! If only to be able to provide the subsequent,
irrevocable proof of ‘reincarnation’ by dint of their rediscovery! But in particular, to
ensure that these stones could once again emit their powerful, positive energy for the
benefit of all. For all of this only became possible through a series of unprecedented
circumstances. Unprecedented circumstances in terms of the means whereby I first
came to be aware of their existence as such – existence in an as yet unspecified
location – by the bias of messages from the invisible worlds. These messages came
in 'real time', be it accompanied by Tarot Card readings, direct interception, or by
spontaneous 'flashes'. And some of these messages were to be witnessed, and
subsequently verified, by people who had been hitherto disinterested witnesses, not
to say sceptical!
They were also unprecedented circumstances as far as the discovery of the
artefacts themselves was concerned. I was a healer. Hundreds of people can confirm
the utility and efficacy of this practice. The stones in the clearing are there for all to
see, in granite and quartz, visible and tangible proof of their existence! But they had
to be sought out. I had had to find them myself, just as I was driven to find myself. I
had to dig deep, using all my force and deepest resources to bring them to the light of
day. In addition, the actualization of the predictions was unprecedented inasmuch as
it involved close collaboration with the spirits of the clearing. Reconnecting
respectfully with the ancestors that inhabited the clearing and thereby reactivating its
healing and mediumistic facilities.
Each day, I went down to the clearing spade in hand to answer the call to
remount time as far as the layers of fine sand and ancestral clay of Man’s origins. (Or
at least, of my origins!) Balancing the weight of experience contained in each spade-
full of past time in this pass-time heavy with implications as yet unfathomed by me.
Weighing up the symbolic significations of the winged dogs at ground level, and
those of the bird (Hades), Mother Earth (Gaia), and Neptune (Poseidon; Atlantis),
that adorned the castle tower. Poseidon and Atlantis, allegorical relays of the aquatic
forms of the stones – whales, dolphins, seals – that emerged from the depths of the
clearing. They were allegories, too, of the four elements: water, air, earth and fire.
The undulating forms of the stones in the clearing represent the precursors of
their nautical and aeronautic counterparts in contemporary submarine, marine and
aero-spatial design. I was literally remounting the weight of time, of past time, to the
surface of this earth’s era – water and air in the heat of action! I appeared to be
digging into the future! My astrological sign is Pisces, with an ascendant Virgo.
According to Fulcanelli (2/Les Demeures Philosophales. p. 259), the mermaid is a
fabulous monster and hermetic symbol that serves to characterize the union between
nascent sulphur – the fish – ('poisson' in French, which is our Pisces), and common
mercury, (Virgo). In other words, the alchemical process of the Great Work itself.
So, this Pisces ascendant Virgo went on to read under the rubric ‘Mermaid’:
mermaid, ondine (which are water goddesses, in Nordic mythology), melusine (a
lunar mermaid), and vouivre (Wivver):
“We must recall that...the axe Virgo/Pisces in traditional astrology forms an axis
of the mutable signs Earth and Water, which preside over all transformations and
58
which crosses perpendicularly with the other mutable sign axis of Sagittarius-
Fire/Gemini-Air. Virgo and Gemini, each with their own respective distinctions,
are dominated by Mercury whereas Sagittarius and Pisces are by Jupiter...each
one of them comprise a double-sign Pisces and Gemini, and a double-sign of
human and animal nature, the centaur for Sagittarius with its human chest and its
horse’s body...the mermaid Virgo with its fishes body...”
(Michel Cazenave. Encyclopédie de Symboles. Ed. Pochotèque. 1989. p. 635)
I thought again of 'Kebir', the castle's corner stone with its four constituent
elements, its organic bust and the aquatic dragon’s tail...
“...And is found, united on this cross of a mercurial nature, Jupiter’s royalty, the
duality of principals and the four elements which compose the Universe, subject
to incessant metamorphosis. All the more so because from Pisces and Virgo, we
go from a double fish to a woman-fish, whilst from Sagittarius to Gemini, we go
from a man-horse to a double-man. As if the journey to be accomplished
involved leads from sea-animal (from the mother and the subconscious), to aero-
man (of consciousness and spirit) by way of the intermediary stage to which we
must first accede before being able to extricate ourselves...”
(Op. Cit. p. 635)
Liliane had summarised the alchemical Great Work by reducing it to four
major stages – putrefaction (black; nigredo), purification (White; albino),
spiritualisation (yellow; citrinitus) and the unification of Man with his divinity (red;
rubido). Matter is relieved of all of its impurities in the black stage. During the white
stage, base metal is transmuted into silver (the Moon). In the yellow stage, matter
becomes enlightened or spiritual (the Sun). And finally, in the red stage, mercury is
transmuted into gold:
“In the image of alchemical work to which it corresponds so profoundly, we
note how these two axis and the two hybrids that they comport, evoke the stages
in the transformation of matter which in turn leads to the cosmic unity of the
Work – that is to say, in the psychic transposition of symbols to the unity of
Self.”
(Op. Cit. p. 635)
No respite without rectification! There is a price to pay for the human
condition, a price to pay in order to change one’s human condition, if indeed it were
to remain human:
“...in order to transform one’s animality (materia prima) and to accede in this
way to full existence and verticality: emerge from the great sea that is the
Unconscious, one’s feet firmly on the ground keeping the head turned towards
Heaven.”
(Op. Cit. p. 636)
For the time being, I was going to have to content myself with paddling
around, my feet resolutely submerged under water, sunk in a sea of chthonian mud
59
and clay. More a case of bent double than vertical! At the end of each day, I emerged
from the depths and made my way back up to my ‘cell’ drenched in perspiration,
famished and riddled with aches and pains. Once started, I never stopped. Why? I
had no idea what motivated me. I was not there under duress or against my will.
Nothing and nobody forced me to exhaust myself in this way. And yet, I had no fixed
plan in my head. No strategy. For the greater part of the time I was in pure action,
like when you are running, cycling or swimming in the sea. You just let yourself go
with the flow, without a thought in mind, while at the same time returning to
yourself... Internalising on a different plane. The frontier between the self and its
surroundings becomes less distinct.
“You see how the teaching is good. It consists in emptying your head and filling
your heart with love. And you need books for that? You’ll never come to
anything unless you learn how to empty your head.”
(Liliane, the 15th
. October 1997.)
It’s at moments like this that you can hear a bird singing without consciously
saying to yourself: “Oh, it’s a bird!”...or a 'wren'', a 'sparrow'. And there were plenty
of sparrows, black birds, robin redbreasts, crows, and occasionally a buzzard or
two...
“You can’t see the finality of your work. You think you are doing nothing but
this period of obscurity will lead you towards self-realisation. By liberating the
stones, you liberate your passions and you restore life to Nature. The moon and
stars return to stroll in the clearing and the more nature sings, the stronger the
healing waves become in the house. The chain, Little one, never forget the
weight of your actions.”
(Message from William Walter Scott.)
I was in poor physical shape and I had no idea where the considerable forces
required to achieve the work that I undertook came from. Years of smoking coupled
with a lack of sustained exercise saw me ill equipped to tackle the task in hand. But I
wasn’t alone. I became increasingly aware of the “presence” of invisible assistance.
Energy rose up from the site to feed my efforts, or rather “their” efforts, because it
became apparent that I could not have managed all of the work alone. It was the
same thing as far as the healing was concerned; “There are three doctors from Above
who work through you.” (Pixie, the 20th
. October 19997.) I often thought of the three
Durville, Hector, Henri and Gaston. I may well have been ‘there’, but there was
something else working beside or through me. Intangible collaboration. I contributed
to a movement and impetus that overrode my sole initiative and forces.
The same applies here and now with the so-called “writer”, who is right here
(write here) but who depends as much upon incoming in-tuition and inspiration as
upon breath for living. Words, Spirit’s emissaries, come to jostle in this field of
integers like so many flowers moving beneath your informed regard. Their origin is
like mine and like yours, dear co-creator – the active and divine principle of the
Verb. You might say that it is more a case of words inventing us than of us inventing
words. It is more a question of life living us, or through us, than us living life. We are
60
merely the means to an end, whereas we tend to live life as though we are the sole
end purpose. But we are simple receptacles through which universal energy
expresses itself, assuming all possible forms, functions and manifestations. Under the
influence of our emotions, it is the ego that claims propriety of all 'our' realisations.
But if today we know that this is not the case, I did not realize it at the time as I was
in full-blown 'cold turkey'. I was suffering from nicotine withdrawal symptoms and
lack of guidelines since Liliane had left.
I had brought with me to Brittany thirty odd years of cigarette addition. I
decided to stop smoking, and there began a series of seven days, seven weeks, seven
months and finally seven years abstinence in order to completely liberate myself
from all of its physiological effects. This gave me time to analyse the causes of the
initial addiction. Family and ancestral fears revealed through recurrent schemas?
Defensive behavioural patterns in face of external contact – I used to light a cigarette
before engaging in a telephone conversation! The instinct for survival, translated
through the need to hide behind a smokescreen, inherited from the war-faring days of
those galleons of old confronted by an armada. But the greatest need and
correspondingly the least possible to resolve was that of ‘internal warmth’; the ‘fire’
represented by the burning cigarette end testified to a fundamental lack of love in
earlier life (or lives!). Smoking involves trying to inspire this lack of love... without
burning oneself!
What better way to remove toxins and gain internal warmth than by hard
digging! Indeed, I was to dig at least a yard down around stones that were sometimes
the size of large motorcars! Just as each discovery was a source of immense pleasure,
a ‘source’ was to be found beneath virtually every stone. We have seen that this is
commonplace in all sacred places. For example, the spire at Chartres Cathedral is
103 metres high and a source can be found at precisely 103 metres beneath ground
level. If there was no financial reward to be gained in working in the clearing, no
beautiful fairy to be found hiding behind one of the stones, they nonetheless brought
me much more than I could have imagined. Liliane’s earlier messages had
forewarned me, even if I did not take them seriously at first:
“You have revealed the stones. We told you that they would repay you in kind.
And there is already a part of it here. But the best is yet to come.”...
“You are like a Phoenix and you must arise again. Your love of Nature will lead
you to love yourself.”...
(William Walter Scott. 1997.)
Having cleared the length and breadth of the clearing, between the woods and
the river, I set about “scratching around” the two oaks trees perched on their stone. I
soon came across three large stones, forming a circle around the oak trees. “You’ll
find a tree among your stones, it’s a healing tree. You need to clear away as far as the
river, including around the two trees and the healing stone.” (W.W. Scott. 1997) I
subsequently identified three main systems: “Air”, where the ‘whale-stone’ with its
Wivver’s back was located on the edge of the woods; ”Water”, beneath the umbrella-
like branches of the hazel-nut tree protecting a bevy of stones beneath; and “Fire”,
the two oak trees exposed to the midday sun. I began to dig channels in from the
61
river to circulate around the “Water” and “Fire” systems, finding new stones along
the way! At night, I reread my notes:
“A Cosmic man guides you. The Young One has prepared every thing for you,
but you must carry on and finish the work alone. She will always be at your side.
Listen to her, she loves you a lot. A golden spiral links you to the Cosmos.
You are an Earthling; in the future you shall become the castle’s guardian. Write
a book. The tile shall be The Leuhan Rose. Your Guardian angel protects you.”
For a long time you were a warrior and a chief. Open your eyes to understand
others and Love. If you feel under attack, it is because you have not sufficiently
advanced in self-understanding. You detest nostalgia, you push on ahead, and
you see the future so why keep the past within yourself. The Young One has
cleaned your lodgings, but she can’t clean inside you. Accept her help, because
you must advance, but it is you alone that must bury this past. You reproach
others for not being clear with themselves: but are you with yourself, really?”
(Message from William Walter Scott. December 1997)
Cosmic man? Was this a reference to the 'person' from the 21st. Solar System
with whom Liliane had communicated on more than one occasion in November
1997? I used to give her one-handed healing energy while noting down her
conversations with the other hand!
It is up to each of us to do our own housework. Liliane had given me the
'broom' – my first spade, at any rate! The rest depended upon the extent to which I
was prepared to invest in the resolution of my own problems. Instead of remaining
inactive and complaining, it was time to arise and dare to overcome the fears
underlying my impotence faced with the state of the world. What can I do to help
myself, and thereby help the world? Because I am my world, just as you are your
world. And there is a team in the invisible worlds only too willing to help us: “Get in
touch with us – you are protected: together we will achieve great things.” (W. W.
Scott on the 3rd
. October 1997.) To unite and to act together, William evoked the
“love chain”:
“Our work, our stress; our passions, our desires, our hatred, our indifference are
all school for Love. We must learn Love: we must first teach ourselves, to every
thing that we take to be ‘ourselves’, and to all of those around us, both beneath
and above us. It is the sole aim of life, the sole reason for creation. But this
mystic attitude must well spontaneously from the depths within us...
It is an initiation, regeneration, and a new birth, announcing this third and final
birth... But all birth presupposes a death. Our being, composed of much more
than just a physical body, can endure many more death forms than mere physical
death. But they are never more than transformation pains and all agony calls a
joy and a progression. An intellectual change, a sentimental crisis, a new
outlook, all mean the death of something in the psyche and the birth of some
other thing, up until then dormant. And so sufferance is actually a blessing. The
joy of living is also a blessing. These two sisters take turns to visit our spirit.
62
They continue to change costumes up until we discern, behind them, their still
young mother: Life. Aches and pains and their father, desires, are simply
practice for a definitive effort, the rejection of a primordial, perpetual and
permanent desire. You need to recognize it and proclaim it loud and clear: every
human being bears in its heart the passion for God; every human being must
understand universal sufferance; each human being accomplishes one single job:
the conquest of the Absolute.”
(Paul Sédir. Les Amitiés Spirituelles. Bibliothèque des Amitiés Spirituelles.)
All of these distractions serve to undermine the process of individuation by
reinforcing dependence that is so characteristic of the social-cultural mechanisms of
contemporary society. This is the common breeding ground of egregores, psychic
and astral group entities and their adherent flocks of sheep with... the wool pulled
over their eyes. ‘Visit the interior of the earth’. Research the deified essence, the
creative spark, the god that lies within, deep down inside every one of us. ‘And by
rectifying yourself’, dare to discover your true self-realisation: ‘the hidden stone
which is the true medicine’. Throw light on our shadows. Seek out the internal grain
of fruit that contains the cosmic tree of Love latent within, the Light of our true
Nature. This Love that lies deep inside like the memory of paradise that is common
to us all. So many veiled memories patiently awaiting for the age of wisdom, the
Golden Age of ‘true medicine’ to release them.
The Scott Family motto “AMO...” - “I love...” – was the war cry of the
Knights Templar advancing resolutely towards their destiny, in search of the Grail.
In other words, seeking the knowledge of their own true Self, their divinity. History
repeats itself in cycles and spirals, each tour inviting the continued surpassing of
knowledge already acquired, the resolute resolution of revolutions.
“We will always be with you. We will protect you, but more than anything else
we love you. Advance towards this love? Never give up. A flame is burning in
the distance: it is up to you to find it.”
(Message from William Walter Scott via Liliane. The 3rd
October 1997)
“Give your hands; don’t be alone. Nature and water shall resource you. We are
there by your side, even when you cannot sense our presence... There will
always be someone or something to give you a message - your intuition, the
words of a neighbour or those of a passer-by, etc. The birds speak! They will
give you signs. Resource yourself on the stones, by the fountains, rivers and
standing stones (N.B. 'menhirs' fr.)...”
(Liliane’s final message, on the 5th
February 1998)
63
8 Any two which ways.
“...There’s an invitation to a chapel: you must go. A quick round trip to England.
Hospitalization.”
(Message from Corinne at Coat meal. The 18th
. August 1999.)
Indeed, I was later to be invited to a party next to Loc Mazé chapel to
celebrate François’ fiftieth birthday on the 25th
. September 1999. But a few days
earlier I received several telephone calls from England concerning Scottie’s state of
health. He was hospitalised at this time and his situation was deteriorating. I flew out
to London on the 21st. September at one o’clock in the afternoon of the Autumn
Equinox. I arrived at Norwich hospital at midnight and asked to see my father. A
nurse went to fetch a consolatory cup of tea before returning to confirm the
presentiment that had accompanied me throughout the journey. Apparently both of
us had shared the same 'departure' time...
I helped my mother and elder sister Pip to fulfil the various related official
obligations before returning to Brest on the 23rd
September. The following day,
someone came for a healing session, and I left a lighted candle in a wooden, bird-
shaped candlestick holder that I had found in the castle grounds. At the end of the
session I returned to my room to find the candlestick holder in flames. The wax had
run across the table to Scottie’s watch and then carefully surrounded it without
touching, like an embrace! I avoided setting the castle alight in extremis, while
recognizing the sign of Scottie’s presence via this 'messenger bird'.
But why this round trip to England, particularly as I was due to return
several days later for the funeral? I duly attended François’ birthday party with its
marquees, roasted pork and lamb on spits and numerous people of all ages. François
lived next to the restored Loc Mazé chapel and you could sense the invisible
company circulating above our heads! Someone presented him with a giant, tubular
stone with a flat surface in the form of a round table that I ‘positioned’ in a nearby
field (thank you Liliane!). Throughout the day I was aware of two young men who
kept looming in and out of my presence with a somewhat maliciously hostile air. At
first I engaged them in conversation before no longer paying too much attention to
them.
The alcohol began flowing and continued to flow. After a copious and
animated meal the music struck up and the dancing took off. A regular festnoz (a
typically Breton ‘night’ feast’) ensued and continued into the early hours of the
morning. At various times I became aware of the two men’s amorphous faces
lurching before my eyes like fish in a goldfish bowl. I had the impression that I was
reliving some kind of Middle Ages pageant. It was as if these two youths belonged to
another era. The day had been long and the party continued late into the night as I
65
prepared to return home. I had completely forgotten about them by this time but they
had not forgotten me! As was leaving and preparing to cross the woods they jumped
me from behind and assailed me with blows. Some of the invitees ran to my
assistance and pulled them off and I staggered my way back through the woods in a
daze like a wounded animal.
Once I had arrived at the castle, I saw my blood-stained face in the mirror and
saw red! All of a sudden I became furious, possessed by a ferocious anger. I
hurriedly washed and changed myself into ‘combat gear’. I took a shillelagh-like
lump of wood that I had kept by the fireplace for some (up until now) obscure reason
and dashed out to the car with the intention of returning to the party and grievously
attacking my two aggressors. I sped off at a rate of knots, swerving out of the castle
grounds so fast that I ended up in the ditch. Late-night revellers helped me to push
the car out of the ditch. - You’d be better off going home, they suggested. I had other
ideas. I was going to teach those two a lesson and nothing was going to stop me now.
That’s what I thought. I continued on my reckless flight, foot down to the
floorboards! Left, left again, and then “Bang!” Smack bang into a stone-filled talus
on the next bend. The car stopped abruptly while I carried on... straight through the
windscreen!
The next day, I asked myself plenty of questions. How could I have wanted to
do them harm, me the ‘gentle’ healer who liked to think that he devoted himself to
the well-being of others? I had been outrageously angry and had intended to cause
them harm. I had become like a Norse ‘beserker’; one of those fearless priest
warriors of old who were reputed to be as strong as bears, (Hum, Corinne had talked
about bears!), who stuffed their nostrils with garlic engaging in uncompromising
combats, terrifying the life out of their prey... Was I reliving facets of some past
experience related to some bygone age? The beserkers (the origin of the English
word ‘beserk’) had served under Odin:
“His men rushed forwards without armour, were as mad as dogs or wolves, bit
their shields, and were as strong as bears or wild bulls, and killed people at a
blow, but neither fire nor iron told upon them. This was called Beserk-gang.”
(Snorri Sturlson. Ynglinga Saga. 1225)
Luckily for me (and for others!), this type of reaction was a rarity. It seemed
to have welled up from deep within me. But where did it come from? It was as
though I had become ‘someone else’, completely transformed into a murderous,
uncontrollable force. I recognized that this situation, the significance of which had
been alluded by Corinne and the round trip prediction, had served to put me (back) in
touch with a non-negligible interior force. A force that, appropriately canalized,
would enable me to benefit others through the application of its energetic healing
potential. At the same time this incident had served as a warning; an urgent need to
control and manage my resources more appropriately and less reactively.
I had made two return journeys to England in a short lapse of time in order to
attend a party that had been announced as being unavoidable to my destiny. As
unavoidable as a talus, at any rate! I also realized that this car crash had forced me to
66
relax albeit momentarily upon impact with the talus – thalamus talus trauma! As a
rule I was in a state of relentless, mental hyperactivity in which I constantly cogitated
about a thousand and one things all at the same time. This tension was momentarily
interrupted by the crash, thereby allowing the descent of a different type of “energy-
information” from the invisible worlds to my brain, in particular from those
originating from my father. It was an opportunity for me to receive a kind of energy-
information 'heritage' from Scottie that had been too difficult to impart during his
life-time, if only because he was largely ignorant of his own innate healing abilities.
Akin to the same kind of difficulties confronting alchemists in seeking to transform
‘brute matter’ (my brain cells) into gold (a higher level of enlightenment)!
I remember another violent incident in my life when I was only nine years old
with my Head Master, Mr. Davison who was not known to beat about the bush. But
not before the Assistant Head Mistress, Miss Stuart (successors to the Tudor royal
family!), first beat him to it. During his momentary absence, I was leaning down to
pick up a girl’s rubber and hand it to her when Miss Stuart leered through the
adjoining classroom door windowpane like a goldfish in a bowl. Miss Stuart was
considerably overweight and had to pass through doors sideways. When she walked
there was the eerie scratching sound of sandpaper that seemed to invoke primeval
collective-conscious memories of the ‘rattle’ of poisonous snakes. Her little finger
beckoned me towards my imminent encounter with her blackboard ruler and lively
civilities were duly exchanged at a measured tempo, belabouring Bartok polka dot
spots on my buttocks! When Mr Davison returned she generously informed him of
my misconduct during his absence. I thought that I had left all of this behind me but
he too saw red. He went to fetch his ‘partner’ - a short, thick stump of wood with a
few bent nails in it – before joining in the dance. He was furious, and I was so struck
by his anger that I could no longer keep pace and I lost both face and consciousness
apace.
For a Head Master, he wasn’t very ahead when it came to alchemy, trying to
realize the Great Work in reverse order: changing his colours from red through white
back to the black (board)! When I came round he was still flailing his arms around,
but this time in fearful desperation. Miss Stuart sandpapered back and forth with
glasses of fresh water to revive the by now multi-coloured victim –white on top and
red on the bottom! He thought that he had beaten me to death. So did I. A victim who
nonetheless refused to bow down to authority...at least metaphorically speaking!
This was the same kind of forceful, ‘headstrong’ attitude that had re-emerged
at Loc Mazé. Anyway, I realized that this underlying uncompromising force was to
be tamed and canalised like wild horses rather than endured or simply repressed. To
be tamed by myself, if possible. As if to underline the Loc Mazé episode, two years
earlier I had received a message concerning my daughter, Shiva, who had been
removed from me in this life at the age of three months when her mother returned to
post-revolutionary Iran:
“During an incarnation on the Easter Islands, you offered your own child in
sacrifice. She was young. You find her again today, but she was removed from
you at the same age that you had given her to be sacrificed. You understand that
67
to end the life of someone is to put an end your own life, because you were filled
with doubt afterwards, and subsequently you fell. In future, consider the
repercussions of your actions instead of reacting, impulsively. Combat your
demons and the Light will shine in you.
Little one, open yourself up to the respect and love of yourself and of others and
you will shine. We love you and we bring love to your heart.”
(William Walter Scott, December 1997.)
Several months later, more clues arrived for me that were based upon
interpretations drawn from some photographs of the stones in the clearing. I had
attended two workshops organized by my friend Ladanum from whom I had received
an astonishing postcard in 1999 in which he asked me what was I doing living in this
“stone building”! For he had never been to the granite castle. He was certainly very
long-sighted (and far-seeing?) for a clairvoyant. I wasn’t expecting to hear from him
and it warmed my heart. I was ignorant of the colourful destiny that awaited me in
the domain of the transmutation of matter. I was going to oscillate between
existential void, passing through the seduction of appearances to discover myself
finally demystified, freed from fear and released from the clutches of egotistic
pretension.
Contact with Ladanum was re-established. I was soon off to participate in my
first workshop with him outside of Paris at Vieux Boucau in south-west France. I
was welcomed with open arms by the group, many of whom I met for the first time. I
soon became aware that I enjoyed a vain pleasure in being referred to as the
(therefore privileged and prestigious) ‘brother’ of Ladanum. He seemed to know
everything and know how to do it too. He explained that he had now created his own
energetic structure beyond those of the Egregores and “Hierarchies” in the invisible
worlds. He was no longer subject to the laws of Karma and throughout the ages had
developed his own autonomous energetic “Structure”. He had surpassed his own
‘Masters’ and become his own God so to speak. And that is what he represented for
me – a kind of God on earth. Each moment spent in his company was rich with
teachings and insight. I had the feeling of 'existing' as if I were fully accepted – the
happy child feeling loved by their parents.
Indeed, together Victor and Marana were like two indulgent parents for their
followers. For the first few years in Paris they were forever available and at the beck
and call of all and sundry. Ladanum seemed to have boundless patience. Energetic
groups and workshops followed one another throughout the years. They were
structured by well-established protocols that were recurrent in their form – physical,
energetic and meditative – and that evolved in their content. Ladanum cultivated
certain ‘key words’ or expressions that ritualistically punctuated the ongoing
development of the operations.
“In the case of a religion, as in the formation of sectarian phenomena, the
stability of the egregore is longer lasting only if accompanied by the
manifestation of physical (sporting) activity or of some such nature, in the sense
that the message addresses itself to the deepest subconscious needs, finding an
echo in the “realities” that provide a symbolic foundation for the collective
68
conscious. The duration of the teaching and the accompanying allegiance that
becomes ritualized within it gradually form a structure, thereby creating an
implicit programming that favours the structure of an “energetic geometry”
drawn from the collective energy of the partisans. Once initiated and nourished,
the egregore will develop according to certain rules, its “autonomy” forms itself
into an hierarchy, it organises itself in accordance with that of a living body, a
projection of the collective being, constituting its “divine truth”. Once in place,
the egregore passes on to the next stage by becoming conscious. It
individualizes itself and forms a “being”, the personality of which detaches itself
from the proportional average of its multiple parents ('geniteurs' fr.). He
becomes “entity”, entitas, entis, the present participle of esse, “to be” in Latin.
At this point, this “being” is still considerably fragile. It is threatened by schisms
that could dissolve it, due to the defections of its partisans that would weaken it.
It must attain a sufficiently high level of autonomy to ensure its nourishment, in
other words it must favour proselytism, promote conversions to the cause, and
thereby renew its group of artisans, its fodder.”
(Pierre Manoury. Encyclopédie du Chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. p. 203)
Ladanum called for the formation of the Intersidereal Federation of Sibylline
Energetic Tsars, which was aimed at incorporating his ancient students from Siberia
with the Parisian and Breton partisans and practitioners of his energetic groups. For
in the meantime, I had begun to fulfil his earlier prophesy by animating groups of qi
gong and taï chi chuan in Finistère in Brittany. Little by little, Breton group members
began to take part in the periodic national workshops that were proposed by
Ladanum. For a year, he also proposed a series of meditations consecrated to work
on the sixty-four stem cells. Ladanum was going to “recondition” them for his
partisans, in preparation for the cosmic changes that were duly announced.
I much regretted being left out of the opportunity to participate in the stem
cell sessions and I was left with the impression that I had missed the boat. If I had
one dream, it would have been to live and work alongside Ladanum but I was too far
away. At times I missed him so much that I almost had (or rather: gave myself) the
impression that I was banished. If only I could have become his assistant or disciple,
but I was only a year younger than him and was too old to assume such functions. At
least I could console myself by encouraging other people to benefit from his
teachings and to participate in his workshops, as well as selling his books and doing
publicity for him in Brittany...
“The Gods are demanding, even if they do not gobble you up. The organized
rituals and teachings together with the increasing number of partisans are not
sufficient to ensure a long-lasting entity. The energetic input, even fervent,
disperses and needs to be fixed, rooting itself in a prop that is better adapted to
the physical world of which it is the divine medium... Because an egregoric
entity of this kind is a human energetic creation that attempts, in principle, to
establish contact with the superior spheres, in accordance with both its setting up
programme and the quality of naivety of its partisans. The psychic aspect alone,
even ritualized, will not assure the “grounding” of such an entity. Expressing
69
life, the entity needs the germinated seed of this very same life in order to give
birth to itself (in accordance with a process required by the universal creative
principle) and develop itself; it then awaits a “divine” dimension, a reflection of
the desire projected unconsciously by its own partisans. To create their god, men
need God.”
(Op. Cit. pp. 203-4.) (N.B. our italics.)
So here we are, servile and dependent upon a teacher or a Master who is
capable of shifting and exploiting our own centre, the benefits of our own self-
empowerment. And the predominant emotion is that of fear. Afraid of being
mistaken. Afraid of being tricked by external dangers, energetic or other, that are
enumerated by the Master. Afraid of being unable to adhere to the demands of
deadlines. Afraid of being exposed to dangers without benefiting from help, his help.
There is the fear of being left to one’s own devices, of becoming too different from
the others and being abandoned by the group. Fear of no longer belonging.
Workshops followed workshops, coupled by weekend seminars in Paris for as
long as Ladanum continued to live there. In the beginning, I stayed with Ladanum
and Marana in their small flat near the Eiffel Tower. Those were the happy days! I
felt invested with a certain amount of prestige while at the same time wondering why
they were so indulgent with me. They were so kind and generous. Once, Ladanum
offered me a CD that we were listening to at the flat. I explained that I had no player,
and could not afford to buy one. Without hesitating, he gave me a player together
with twenty or so compact discs from his collection that I could use for the
meditations in my groups in Brittany. I was very taken by his spontaneous
generosity.
On another occasion, I told him that I had the impression that someone or
something was pumping my energy. Marana said that she would “look” and see if
something was going on. She was surprised to discover that Rose, Mateh’s wife, had
arranged for a spell to be thrown on me following my separation from them in 1999!
Marana drew me two talismans to protect me from further interference, saying that I
must keep them with me at all times. One was for the ‘Upper Canal’, linking me to
cosmic energy, and the other for the ‘Lower Canal’ and providing access to
terrestrial energy resources. In accepting these two talismans I opened myself up to
their influence.
As a rule a talisman is designed to improve a subject’s situation in a given
context. In any case, an 'intention' is placed in the talisman. This intention is
designed either to counteract a negative imprint already inscribed in the subject with
a view to creating a diversion, (crossing the wires so to speak). The electromagnetic
waves emitted by the inscribed symbols send out psychic emissions to the universe,
reinforcing their liaison with the subject, as was the case in Marana’s two drawings.
In 2004, there was a series of ten weekend workshops in Paris in view of
completing the training of prospective Teachers of the Sibylline Energetic Tsars.
This time I had decided to invest in an mp3 player in order to be able to record all of
Ladanum’s words of wisdom while being able to remain attentive to the proceedings.
70
But despite the efforts of some of my more technologically adept fellow partisans, I
was unable to record my (his ‘Master’s’?) voice. The following weekend, I had
returned to the mp3 supplier who first tested and then replaced the microphone
system. Once again, and despite adjusting the microphone to full volume, only the
faintest of recordings became possible. I understood by this time that nothing is
arbitrary in life, so I asked Ladanum for his interpretation of the significance of this
malfunction. He simply replied that it was a technical fault. Well yes, I knew that
already, but “why” and what was the reason behind it? Ladanum’s tautological reply
reasoned and resounded false. I was looking for a symbolic explanation for this
breakdown or ‘informational blockage’. Why couldn’t I hear him?
At the same time, I had already had dozens of notepads of his previous
workshops, full of information rapidly transcribed and subsequently never fully
reread or integrated. So why was I so desperate to record so assiduously everything
that was said? I was afraid of ‘missing’ something important, in the same way that I
had been afraid of missing out on the stem cell series in Paris. It was just one of
many reflex reactions that revealed my underlying fear. But then what was I doing
there in the first place? It was as though my life depended upon it. I seemed to have
become irresistibly attracted to anything and everything to do with Ladanum. Was I
afraid to modify my habits? Afraid to change direction and find a new one? Afraid to
swim alone, or just simply ‘afraid’?
Within the Sibylline Energetic Tsars, the participants gave the impression that
they were part of a well-informed minority. They considered themselves to be a
select group of privileged people, a sort of avant-garde for the Twenty-First Century.
Pierre Manoury quotes Robert Ambelain:
“Psychically integrated by ritualistic initiation or by intellectual adherence to
one of its currents, the partisan becomes one of its constituent cells. They
increase the egregore’s power by the qualities or defaults that they possess, and
in exchange, the egregore isolates them from the external forces of the physical
world and reinforces, by all of its previously accumulated collective force, the
feeble means of action of the man who rallies to it.”
(Robert Ambelain. La Kabale pratique. Ed. Niclaus. 1951.)
And I continued to follow the workshops for several years like a lamb to
slaughter. I looked forward with eager anticipation to these reunions that represented
the high points in the year. Soon there were two or three workshops each year. I was
happy to rejoin the joyful ‘parents’ who seemed to spread happiness around them,
together with my merry fellow partisans. But appearances can be deceptive. Behind
the 4% or so of visible matter that appears to occupy all of reality’s space there is an
energetic ocean that moves beneath the surface, which frequently flows against the
apparent tide. As when buying a second-hand car, there is often a tendency just to see
the superficial, visible advantages without testing in depth for the presence of rust or
indications of modified speedometer counts. No rust in sight, no worrying noises
emanating from under the (unopened) bonnet – perfect! I’ll take it. Happiness at last!
But what exactly is happiness? To feel loved? The feeling of being accepted within
one’s family or group of friends? The feeling of being in complete harmony with
71
one’s mission on earth? Or to have found a meaning to one’s life? Or to have grown
to love and to accept oneself?
I had now found a reason for living - to continue in my pursuit of Ladanum’s
teachings – but not a reason for life. Because confronted by the life’s problems, I was
still dependent upon Ladanum for explanations and appropriate advice, he who
seemed to have all the answers. I became ’addicted’ to him. (N.B. Which is a
paradox because Ladanum’s real-life Russian name stands for ‘to be addicted to’ or
‘dependent upon’.) He had replaced Liliane as my reference point. Panic broke out
among the groups in Paris when Ladanum announced that they were leaving to go
and live somewhere in the south-west of France. It was as if the parents were
abandoning the household and leaving the children behind to cope by themselves!
What’s more, they were leaving no forwarding address! Having by now lived for
some years far away from the quasi-daily groups in Paris I had already begun the
process of severance.
One day I asked Ladanum for details concerning John Stears. What had
happened 100 odd years earlier? He told me that Stears’ best friend had raped the
woman that he loved and that she had subsequently left Stears to go and live with
him! There was a moment of incredulity on my part when I heard that this woman
had chosen to live with the man that had raped her but I didn’t even have time to
think of questioning the unlikelihood of such an illogical situation before my
attention swung back to focus upon Stears and what he had lived. So, Stears had been
abandoned. His best friend had betrayed him. His loved one had betrayed him.
Abandonment and treachery; two themes that had accompanied in parallel fashion
this life of mine too!
Any two which ways...
72
Healing oaks.
9 Clarifications in the clearing
I began to centre my attention upon the clearing and the whys and wherefores
of this place and my implications within it. In one of the earlier Ladanum workshops
I had the chance to ask Ghislaine for some answers to my questioning. She had been
interested in shamanism for many years and the photographs of the clearing that I
had brought along to show her intrigued her.
“...There is a dual message in this place (N.B. the clearing): a message that
communicates with the past, but which also carries a message for the future;
You must make contact with the spirits of the place...There’s no need to
undertake such heavy work (“Now you tell me!”); it’s as though you have
already revealed the essential parts that need honouring, which will enable you
to get in touch with the MESSAGE. “Cosmic movement...” cf. the stone, = a
calendar = a message for the FUTURE is inscribed in the stone. Start
'connecting' and bring to the fore the stones that are essential... Introduce
yourself (with a ritual) to the clearing...
73
This is the place that will give you your healing (N.B.: 'magnetisme' fr.) and
knowledge. If you rise up, you will connect to higher vibrations. You will
integrate increasing magnetic force and more people will come...
This place, and everything beneath it, is very highly charged. For one man alone
there is a danger of bringing to the surface “difficult” things. There is direct
contact here with the Cosmos.
Connect with all of 'that', without allowing heavy stuff to resurface. It’s as
though the “destruction of a people (race)” meant that they could no longer
continue.
***Atlantis!
It is out of the question to reactivate the descendants: ...they blew up the world:
Ladanum was there!!!”
(Ghislaine. 1999)
Ladanum was there? Well of course, why not? I knew already that we had
shared several past lives. But what was I doing in the castle basement today and,
furthermore, ‘underground’ in the clearing? What was the purpose? What was the
point of all of these stones and what was my role? Why me, why here and why now?
Here I was, straining myself against submerged stones in the clearing without any
apparent aim if only not to give up! And I wondered how I was going to get in touch
with the spirits in place without reactivating energies that subsequently could prove
to be noxious. I didn’t realize at the time that simply by being in the clearing for
what was to become years on end, I would spontaneously resonate with the clearing
by my presence alone and reconnect with my ancient contacts of bygone times,
opening myself up to facets that had previously been mine and of which up until now
I was unaware.
“On a megalithic site, Man’s role consists of simply relaying himself to the
sacred, by means of the stone’s mineral memory. Because its coherent plane
possesses all pertinent information relating to Creation and to Divinity.
Information of which we are no longer aware, but which is buried deep down in
our archaic consciousness in the reptilian brain.”
(Jacques Bovin. Mégalithes – Lieu d’Énergie. Ed. Mosaïque. 1995. p. 232.)
Six months later at another of Ladanum’s workshops, I asked Ghislaine if I
should work with groups or alone in the clearing? She provided me with further
information concerning the clearing together with a veiled warning:
“You should stay there where you are; it’s your territory. You are in position.
Increase your connection with the clearing’s spirits. In time, people with the
same kind of vibration will arrive.
Always take care to remain master of the place and of its spirits. You are
someone who wants to share this place with others - but only with those who
have a lot of respect for it. You need to consolidate the place where you heal.
Sometimes you will need to protect the area.
74
The clearing is not for everybody. You are the one who decides what needs to be
done there. You must not invite Ladanum, for example, to lead a group in your
place.”
(Ghislaine, on the 9th
May 2000)
I already sensed that the clearing was not a place for everybody. Since the
beginning I had had a spontaneous reflex to ‘protect’ the clearing. I was nonetheless
incapable of formulating a reason for this, nor for the danger against which I was
protecting it. I had the impression that something was at stake, something that held
its origin in the long-distant past. But at that time I simply followed my instincts,
spontaneous instants, without thinking through the implications of my feelings in
respect of the clearing in a methodical or analytical fashion. Ghislaine’s reference to
Ladanum and the clearing spontaneously seemed to me to concur with the generally
accepted energetic precept whereby mixing the energies of several group leaders in
the same workplace was to be avoided. It was no doubt preferable that I reserved the
clearing exclusively for my own energetic practice. (After all, I had a tendency to
perceive only what I wanted to see, as opposed to what in fact was 'really' there...)
Ghislaine continued:
“It will become necessary only to invite specific people to the clearing. It’s for
you to animate the work. Little by little you’ll meet people who have the same
things inside. Leuhan shall become a special centre for reflection. Activities
shall be organised – you must always remain master of the place. Some very
“centred” people shall arrive.
Leuhan is very rich but energetically 'neutral'. It could make a good (reception)
Centre.
The stones in the clearing are very powerful. You need time. Be patient. Stay
master of the place. It’s going to become a luminous place. Bringing people
together.”
(Ghislaine. The 5th
December 2000)
“Stay master of the place.” This echoed within me for a long time. In the
moments in which I felt particularly weak or lacking in confidence, Ghislaine’s
invocation often came to mind providing me with a fresh source of inspiration, like a
kind of ‘mission’ to fulfil, even if I was at a loss to understand what possible
importance it could hold. I was like a little dog on a chain, its tail between its legs,
it’s master instructing it to “Guard the house!” And being chained up rendered the
scope for guarding the house somewhat limited, if not ineffective. Unless I compared
myself to ‘Kebir’ or the two other winged guardians of the castle who did not need to
move in order to ‘move’ others! Meanwhile, Ghislaine read some Tarot cards:
“JS: What do I need to be wary of?
Ghislaine: You’ll have to become as “boorish” as a Breton – as tough as granite!
Don’t let people wear you out. You need true strength of heart, to be a solid/
'true' worth. Be redoubtable, with your feet firmly rooted in the ground.
After Leuhan, you will go elsewhere. You will create learning/a network of
people, and then go elsewhere.
JS: Where?
75
Ghislaine: The card of “Hope”: total transformation. You will become a
completely different being: as if you began your true life. A place somewhere in
the Lot or Corrèze, or in Italy, with a whole network of people. It will be more a
case of you moving around to see people, than the reverse. No more qi gong to
teach. You will be like Ladanum, but in your own right, with your own
specificity.
(Ghislaine. The 5h December 2000.)
“What do I need to be wary of?” This question revealed my prevailing,
underlying uncertainty with regard to both present and future. I couldn’t wait to be
far from the famous Breton 'crachin' (‘drizzle’); would sunshine and light be my lot
in the future? Not for a while, I feared. The little dog remained chained to his post at
the castle like the other stone guardians. But the stones in the clearing had been at
their post for a much longer. Ghislaine had taken part in a shamanistic workshop for
which I given her two photographs of the ‘fertility’ stones taken at mid-summer’s
day to show to the workshop leader who could “read” into photographs... The
shadows thrown upon them by the Solstice sun revealed the shape of two serpents,
their heads greeting one another across the fissure in the stone. This is what she 'saw':
“This site was deliberately buried: it possesses much knowledge. You must ask
permission; ask whether you can dig out/go on further. Get in touch with the
spirits and ask them what needs to be transmitted.”
Stones contain within them the memory of events that took place around them
and of information that has been relayed through them. It is also possible to ‘fix’
certain information or intentions in stone. I had taken a small stone that had the shape
of a serpent’s head to the Vieux Boucau workshop to ask the Ladanum for their
impressions. I had initially discovered the stone beneath the two oak trees in the early
days in the clearing. Marana held the stone in her hands, closed her eyes and began
to recount descriptions of celebrations and of dancing in circles. All of a sudden she
threw down the stone in horror: she had seen blood and darkness. I had found the
stone at the feet of the twin oaks, a good yard beneath the surface.
These stones also function as 'megalithic computers', like those at Stonehenge
in England or Carnac in Brittany. They contain information and stock memories in
much the same way as a conventional computer’s hard disc. They are not only
capable of resonating with individuals who find themselves in close proximity but
also with other energetic centres throughout the world. They are energetic relays,
capable of receiving and condensing information and energetically nourishing zones
of interest far from their base in the same manner as nuclear or electric power
stations. The stones in the clearing are each positioned on specific energetically
charged points, akin to acupuncture points on the human body, as are the stones
referred to in the above sites. These are particularly strong, cosmo-telluric magnetic
points that accumulate and concentrate energy while at the same time serving as
'doorways' between terrestrial energetic networks and cosmic forces in the invisible
worlds beyond Earth.
The shape and position of each stone plays a significant role in determining
76
its individual function as well as the global function of the site. Each stone fulfils a
healing role specific to different aspects of healing and well-being, as do specific
acupuncture points within an holistically and therapeutically orientated system. Their
respective qualities enhance the re-equilibrium and potential resolution of specific
ills or corporal malfunctioning within the overall bodily structure.
The stones’ burial had either taken place to protect them from misuse or
destruction or, by less fraternally orientated interests (cf. the forces of darkness), to
prevent them from receiving and subsequently relaying luminous cosmic energies
destined to benefit Earth. I was already aware of the fact that a number of ancient
sacred sites have suffered from considerable wanton damage in Brittany. This was
motivated on the one hand by religious and anti-pagan initiatives, by purely
economic orientations designed to extend the limits of cultivatable land, or again by
initiatives aimed at 'controlling' access to the beneficial qualities of the sight in
question. Such interventions suspended, or in some cases destroyed, their potential
energetic functions and mandate until the time would come to reactivate them.
And now that time had come.
The contemporary discovery and “bringing to light” of stones and of other
ancient sites in a variety of locations throughout the world is symbolic of the revival
of the Forces of Light and of all the means at their disposal to counteract the Forces
of darkness. If John Stears and his father had been responsible for 'bringing the light'
to Brest in the late Nineteenth Century - ‘physically', in the form of gas street lamps,
and 'theosophically' in the form of enlightenment - the bringing to light of the stones
in the clearing also enabled the liberation of luminous energies. Luminous energies
that had been previously 'obscured' by what may be considered as being the
immanent and equally obscure intentions envisaged by the Forces of darkness
throughout the duration of the 6 480 year-long ‘Iron Age’, or Age of Kali Yuga.
Why had the time come now? We are actually in the process of living the
final years of the Kali Yuga in which the predominant influence of the Forces of
darkness is drawing to a close. At the same time, the Earth’s magnetic field is 38%
weaker today than it was in 1 500 years ago. Our perception of the world depends
upon the reciprocal relation or interplay between ‘waves’ and ‘forms’. Form is a
function of vibration and vibration is a function of form. Gregg Braden recounts
how the Schumann Resonance (N.B. a kind of Earth’s' heart-beat') has increased
from 8,7 cycles per second to nearly 13 cycles per second today (2009). This means
that the virtual absence of a magnetic field will provide a situation in which there is
no longer any 'space' separating thought from its crystallisation and realisation! This
also means that we shall become increasingly aware of certain ‘realities’ that have
been deliberately obscured and withheld from our view. Individuals will access
themselves directly to pure information. This will be the Fifth Dimension.
Individuals will be able to ‘create their reality’ instantaneously here on Earth just as
it is possible already in other dimensions.
For the time being, the space that exists between thought and its
crystallisation into ‘reality’ is predominantly held back by the expression of emotions
77
such as fear, anger, hatred – 'duality' - and all of their associated violence and
culpability that are compounded by the accompanying dearth of self-confidence and
self-empowerment. For it is in this way that the vast majority of people on Earth
remain prisoners to the forces that continue to cultivate their domination over Man
by maintaining a constantly renewed climate of fear and insecurity. It is not for
nothing that fear and insecurity are the two predominant themes of political party
electoral campaigns when vying for votes. What better way of distracting attention
from the path of individuation and recognition of our veritable divine identity?
Restrict the growth of personal awareness by incessantly riveting attention on a
plethora of fundamentally insignificant yet ingeniously well-orchestrated fear-based
concerns; illness, national and personal security, life-insurance (as if 'life' needed to
be insured in order to be assured!), 'freedom' (if you are afraid of losing your
freedom, this is a sure indication that you have given it away already, that it is
already lost!)... All of these proposals implicitly encourage the individual to seek
‘solutions’ to (these prefabricated) problems outside of themselves, rather than
seeking them within. The sole antidote is uncompromising recognition of your own
innate value and Truth.
There was a discussion on the subject of reincarnation at Ladanum’s
workshop at Vieux Boucau in 2001. He explained that when two souls that had
shared a previous common existence met up once again, one of the two had a
“karmic debt” to repay to the other. So I asked him what was the reason for our
meeting in this life, to which he replied succinctly: “It’s personal.” I was lost for
words at the time but I realized subsequently that there was an unjust imbalance
between us. I was not in a position to be able to 'see' or understand what had
happened to me or to others in previous lives, whereas Ladanum was. For a brief
moment it occurred to me that perhaps Ladanum himself had been Stears’ best friend
at Plabennec at the time! I was almost immediately ashamed of entertaining such a
malicious thought, given everything that Ladanum had done for me in this life, and
quickly pushed it from my mind. But although I had sensed a certain malaise on his
behalf surrounding the subject I did not pursue my enquiries any further at that point.
I was still very dependent upon Ladanum. I could not envisage doing without his
reassuring company and support. I thought about him every day. He was there, with
me in the qi gong classes; I heard his voice and visualized his expressions, his
laughter. How many times did I ask myself what I would do without him? I virtually
lived for the next workshop, each one of which represented for me a kind of happy
family reunion. No! It could not have been him. Besides, everything that he had done
in this life with regard to me had been coloured by irreproachable generosity.
Full of confidence at the next workshop, I asked Ladanum if he would get in
‘contact’ with Stears – to get in contact, so to speak, with my ‘old self’. He called
upon Marana to ‘mediate’ between worlds. At first she laughed at all of the “little
people” that she saw following me through the woods at Leuhan, occasionally
playing tricks on me, such as making me lose my keys. She then came across the
spirit of a woman who had continued to “live” in the castle in a relative calm before
it had become converted into flats and re-occupied. According to Marana, this
78
woman regularly called upon Stears to return to the castle in order to ‘clean up’ the
sector, which he often did at the time of the full moon.
Liliane herself had recounted that once Stears had returned to visit the castle
in order to “give a warning” to a newly arrived occupant who would not have been
able to afford to pay the rent in the future. His ‘presence’ had unintentionally scared
her; she was so frightened that she climbed up on the castle ramparts next to her
room in the tower while screaming her head off! She left the castle the next day and
was never to return! If some people in the village already claimed that the castle was
haunted, this provided them with further corn to grind. 'Visions' had also been
recorded of Stears on horseback at the full moon, allegedly searching for his own
battalion that had been decimated in Sedan. (N.B. During a battle against the
Prussians, Stears had suffered his thumb being sliced off by a sabre, which is
recorded in the detail of one of coats of arms engraved in stone above the Leuhan
Castle front door.)
Marana then made contact with John Stears, who said that there was a very
“heavy male presence” in the castle. I explained that apart from the proprietor, Jean-
Pierre, I was the only other male in the castle. There was a long pause before Marana
exhorted on behalf of Stears: “ I am the castle's proprietor!” I knew then that it was
well and truly Stears at the other end of the line! When asked if he needed help of
any kind, Marana replied that he was very occupied and independent and that no, he
needed nothing.
When the time came for the diplomas ceremony with the Sibylline Energetic
Tsars, I once again asked Ladanum to explain the reason for our meeting in this life.
When he replied that “We’ll see about that later”, I insisted, asking him whether or
not he genuinely wanted us to remain friends and to keep in touch with me. He
assured me that he would send me his address and telephone number later in the
month. He never did. I did not have any way of contacting him as I was ignorant of
the precise location of whereabouts he lived in the south-west of France. Once again
Ladanum avoided answering this recurrent question that preoccupied me from time
to time, which only served to accentuate the increasing suspicion on my behalf.
Ladanum had asked me on several occasions to send him photographs of the
stones in the clearing. At first I was proud that he should find the time to concern
himself with 'my' work. But then I started to wonder why he showed so much interest
in them and how he expected me to send him photographs as I did not have his
address! I later realized that several Sibylline ‘emissaries’ had found their way to the
clearing over the years, all of them taking photographs on their way through. I began
to contemplate on the possible implications of Ladanum taking or manipulating
energy at a distance, with reference to the energetic potential of the stones in the
clearing. But I had yet to witness with my very own eyes the undeniable proof of my
growing fears, furnished by the adroit manipulations at distance of an employee of a
nationalised French telephonic company; an employee who was, for me, ‘invisible’!
Having suspended my regular workshop attendance for the preceding two
years I decided to participate in the ten-year celebratory workshop at Trimurti in the
79
south of France in September 2006. Before I left at the end of the workshop I
presented Ladanum with a cheque for 500 euros, a bottle of Siberian ginseng, a
‘biosyntonie’ egg and ten CDs, together with a postcard from Brittany with the
words “Merci pour tous”, (N.B. ‘Thank you for everyone’); which was meant to
read: ‘Merci pour tout’ (Thank you for 'everything'). What could have been the
reason for this unconscious grammatical error on my behalf? I remembered Paul
Eluard’s words: “ Earth is blue like an orange, never a mistake, words do not lie”.
And indeed, there was no mistake; for the ‘s’ that came to replace the ‘t’ gave birth
to the anagram “Scot, ou primeur”; ‘Scot, or the first to be informed!’ In other words:
to be in your prime, to be new, to be reborn.
“You will become a completely different being: as if you began your true life.”
(Ghislaine).
I have not seen Ladanum since the 29th September 2006, although exactly
four weeks later I was going to see him again...in a completely different light.
80
The seal.
10 ‘Satori’* ration point...
“Never forget: the diamond was coal before becoming purified”
(Pixie. The 14th
November 1997.)
There I was, digging out stones from the murky depths while at the same time
delving deep down into my own in order to bring light to them and them to light!
What if for some reason certain elements wanted them to remain hidden from view?
Supposing they conspired to prevent me from bringing them to light and benefiting
from their attributes? Perhaps they sought to divert and exploit the stones’ energetic
qualities for their own ends. Or worse still, try to prevent me from liberating them in
the global benefit of others? The further I pursued my work in the clearing, the more
these and other paranoiac ideas began to cross my mind. It is not for nothing that the
expression exists: “without a shadow of doubt”, because it is only by overcoming
and surpassing all doubt and all fears that light can once again become restored in its
own right.
*(N.B. ‘Satori’ is a Zen Buddhist term for ‘spiritual awakening’, the literal meaning
of which is ‘understanding’.)
81
Different associations reveal themselves with the discovery of the sense and
essence of words in the choice of the name ‘Ladanum’. Because Ladanum is a
variant of the word ‘labdanum’... both a variation of laudanum – tincture of Opium!
Victor “Ladanum’s” name in “real life” stands for ‘substitute’, (N.B. this is not their
real name. It has already been mentioned that these events are centred around the
parish of Leuhan, or “Vicaria Leuhan”, Vicaire, from the Latin vicarius, which also
stands for ‘substitute’...) According to Ladanum, we had virtually the same energetic
spectre. We all have our dark side. Like day and night, heads or tails, these two
apparent opposites and two separate identities dissimulate the same fundamental
Truth. According to the theosophical reduction of our respective names, Ladanum
and I share the same numerological schema. So what really was the reason for our
meeting?
“The spirit incarnates itself to experiment contact with matter, and particularly
with the underlying force that renders its incarnation indispensable. Each one of
us chose the time, the place and the family background for this incarnation, and
this choice, which was not the fruit of hazard, corresponds exactly to the
problematic that imposes itself upon us in any given space-time.”
(Dominique Coquelle. Les tracées d’Or. Ed. TrajectoirE 1997. p. 96.)
Neither the place at Leuhan Castle nor time of the meeting with Ladanum
were due, then, to hazard. The moment that we place our egotistic identity in its
much larger universal and cosmic context, thereby liberating ourselves from the
impediments of a daily life punctuated by its emotional reactivity, we can
concentrate on discovering those parts of ourselves that have become occulted.
Rediscover those parts that are essential for us to ensure our evolution towards the
Unity with all of the other manifestations of our soul’s voyages. All of these hours
spent digging underground, empty-headed and free of daily concerns, allowed me to
strike another chord far removed from my emotionally reactive responses to daily
life. I was tuned into another wavelength, on the same level as underground roots
searching earth’s internal spaces and resonance.
“Animated by the need to recover those parts of themselves that are dispersed in
space and time in order to complete and become a totality, everyone needs to
measure what remains for them to accomplish with regard to their fundamental
power. Each being could transmute the quintessence of their karmic root, in the
same way that a diamond is extracted from a mine... This internal alchemy,
which consists in separating the subtle from the gross, requires lots of time and
perseverance. It also requires access to certain information, and those who seek
will find them at the time of “meetings with remarkable men”, or in all the
books of the world, in which certain sentences contain several levels of
interpretation...”
(Op. cit. p. 96)
This was the reason to dig deep to seek out the secret and veiled reality of my
sole being and being’s soul; to get to the ‘bottom’ of it all!
82
“Descend into your deepest parts and find a solid base upon which you can
construct another personality, a new man.”
This necessity is motivated by the unavoidable imperative of the emergence
from shadow towards light in the realisation of our soul’s plan and the expression of
its entire potential that is in the process of realising itself. The Being (our vehicle),
and what reality (our experience, our experiences, our hidden essence, out of sight
and so often out of mind) hides, are what we need to reveal and bring to light:
“In order to fight against obscurity, master passions without forgetting that
nothing can be accomplished without them. Need for temptation without which
there could be no spiritual progress, because: “evil is not in denial but in the
absence of desire...”
(Colette Silvestre-Haeberle, ABC de la symbolique du tarot.
Ed. Grancher.1992. p.107)
Before we return to Earth, we plan our ‘itinerary’ and choose the situations
and challenges that we have decided to live in order to fulfil our ‘mandate’ (our date
with Man!). However, once incarnated we are no longer consciously aware of our
mandate. In addition, the fact that we had foreseen all of the resources necessary to
us in order to realise our mission often remains occulted and forgotten too. It is in
seeking to resonate on the same level as this underlying force that nourishes us that
we can advance along our life's/lives’ path/s towards accomplishing our destiny -
centred, committed and progressively ‘unveiled’. It becomes a question of faith and
first and foremost of faith in oneself.
“You re-educate and revalidate yourself as you are, here and now,
unconditionally. No one else can do this but you. Others may help and
encourage you, but no one can teach you how to love yourself. This is the work
of each individual soul.
Each soul descends into the physical experience with the intention of
confronting itself with this question of self-esteem.”
(Paul Ferrini. L’Amour sans conditions. Ed. Le Dauphin Blanc. 2006. pp. 49-50)
But it is more than likely that our ‘self’ is hidden from us, just like the stones
were in the clearing. In liberating the stones from some of their shackles, I freed
myself from some of my own fetters. With each spade-full, it became easier to see
the whole picture, the precise shape of each stone and the dimensions that had been
carefully hidden up until then obscured by other aggregates of brute matter. Because
when I had started to discover the stones in the beginning, virtually nothing was
'visible'. Most of the stones were completely underground and out of sight. One of
the earliest ‘finds’ was a stone that appeared initially to be the size of a small table. It
remained like this for several months. One day I came back to it and several days
digging revealed a huge stone the size of a boat several yards in length and in depth
and no doubt weighing several tons! This stone had remained buried mere inches
beneath the surface for centuries, out of sight and subsequently out of mind. The full
extent of its potential and of its capacities had remained hidden. I had begun to reveal
83
the tip of an iceberg. And if I still had no clear idea where all of this was going to
lead I was spurred on by a kind of (appropriately, given the occult nature of the
stones) ‘blind faith’.
I later came across photographs of two statues of a veiled woman carved in
white marble that had been formerly commissioned by John Stears. For me, the
statues evoked mourning – perhaps the now hidden face of Stears’ lost loved one. At
the same time the veiled face symbolised its own desolation and self-withdrawal:
“A face hidden by a veil or some kind of tissue symbolises an abandon or a loss
of individuality: two faces covered by the same veil are identical.”
(Marie-Delclos/Jean-Luc Caradeau. Symbolism du Corps.
Ed. TrajectoirE. 2007. p. 154)
The veil also represents an allegory to faith. Faith in what remains invisible,
non-manifest, hidden from sight but nonetheless omnipotent.
“Thought is the only means whereby you can progress in this life. (...) Let faith
direct you! Don’t think that there is no purpose. Turn over the earth, sow well-
chosen healthy seeds, thoughts of love and of light, create within yourself an
atmosphere of joyful serenity and sunshine. Just wait and see what beautiful
flowers you will have to harvest when the day comes.
...Put yourself courageously to work; tear away all veils; destroy everything
within you that could evoke anger or hatred; only hang on to objects that are
really useful, those that invoke in you feelings of love and clarity, those capable
of directing you on the path towards the Absolute.”
(H. Durville. Au Seuil de l’Initiation. Ed. Chapitre. 2000. pp. 98-100)
Here I was, myself well dissimulated beneath countless veils – a stranger
whose daily life and family links remained hidden and unknown to those around me
in Brittany. Hidden in an obscure castle or in the adjoining woods and the clearing
far from the beaten track. I lived in the dark, (in the sub-ground level basement), and
worked virtually underground in the clearing seeking out stones. For some, the
‘philosopher’s stone’ refers to the transmutation of base metal into gold -
metaphorically speaking “Love”. And to attain it, we need to look beyond
appearances, beyond the visible part of this iceberg reality, so often reduced to its
purely material, not to mention materialistic, expression.
Sometimes we need to venture beyond the illusory comfort of well-
established frameworks and their preconceived ideas in order to achieve this. I had
left my family and native country and later the ‘family’ that I had found in the
Ladanum group in Paris. I lived apart, even if I were a part of the group. I was alone
in my work in the clearing, too. I lived a paradoxical dynamic in which on the one
hand I sought acceptance while at the same time seeking to maintain my
individuality and autonomy from the mass. Elements of the Black Moon in the Ninth
House of my astrological theme talk of talents and weaknesses associated with the
individual:
84
“Tendency to live on the border of established social structures, while still taking
part. Love of the open air... Ungracious reflections regarding foreign cultures,
including their own. Would belie the proverb: “It is easy to lie if you come from
afar.”
“In order to live well this configuration, it is necessary to succeed in detaching
oneself from the process of group identification, from ideologies and belief
systems, in order to regain lucidity. Far from rejecting all objective affiliation to
social groups, or to find an interest or pleasure within them, it simply involves
not identifying with them. For people with this configuration, it is very difficult
to have any kind of faith...”
“...we find here the unconscious refusal, “Black Moon”, to live the projection of
Darkness on the group...(...)...a seeker such as this must position themselves as
far as possible from the beaten track and general consensus of the “status quo”.
(Marc Bérault. La Lune Noire. Ed. Rocher. 2000. pp. 190-191)
Too true, but for the time being I was still struggling to detach myself from
“the process of group identification”. I still lacked faith... in myself. This was less
due to an ability to believe in ‘something’ than to the capacity to create my own
frame of reference. For believing in something outside of myself was tantamount to
becoming dependent upon those people, things or movements, instead of cultivating
self-assurance and believing in myself. And I had become dependent; upon Ladanum
for direction (“Where should I go? What should I do? Stay in Brittany or go to
Paris?”), or for a reason to exist, (“What should I do with my life?”) To be honest, at
that time I did not want to jeopardize the current orientation of my life or further
destabilise it. This life, that I continued to base upon external acceptance of and
endorsement by the ‘other’.
Following our initial meeting, and given the comparatively unconventional
topics that were considered in the weekend seminars, I wondered for a moment if I
hadn’t quite simply fallen into a sect! But my reflexive rejection of anything even
faintly resembling a sectarian movement of ‘Guru’ idolatry was equally counteracted
by my thirst for novelty, particularly when it involved nonconformist ideas. At first,
Ladanum called me his ‘Master’ in front of the others, which was a great source of
pride for me, or rather for my ego that was thirsty for recognition!
“Today, as humanity is awakening with the approach of the Harvest Time and
the most extraordinary spiritual opportunity ever known on Earth, members of
the opposing forces are falling over themselves to present themselves to the
general public as leaders and spiritual healers... Many of those who propose false
teachings in the world today are even more convincing to the layman, inasmuch
as they themselves believe so sincerely in what they are teaching that their
motivations are authentic. Some of these teachers are, then, ignorant of the fact
that they are mere puppets of the Forces of darkness... (...) Other teachers are
perfectly conscious of their own hidden agendas, whose sole aim is to inculcate
insatiable desire, attachment and blind obedience, subordination, etc. These
85
impostors take malign pleasure in creating a bait to attracts the personal Self,
by deliberately blocking the arrival of everything that is true and saintly.”
(Divine Plan. Chapter Thirteen)
Nonetheless, the more our relationship advanced the fewer the compliments
became. And although I still took part in it, the more I became isolated within the
group the more my position became untenable. I felt trapped. On the one hand, I
couldn’t find fault in what was being offered for ‘consumption’, (even if my mp3
didn’t want to ‘hear’ of it!) While for me to remain dependent upon this same source
of supply became increasingly unbearable. My dilemma was aggravated by the fact
that my only available referent with whom I could hope to clarify my position
represented an integral part of the problem.
“...Above and beyond practical objectives, your preoccupations bring you to
question yourself, of the sense and nature of your being. This questioning is
likely to be the even more arduous because with Pluto you have neither a model
nor supportive help: you will have to find your own truth within yourself and by
yourself, at risk of plunging into self-obscurity.”
(Astrological theme of John Stears.)
In spite dying of hunger I was getting tired of begging. It was time for me to
kick out of my lethargy and start to impose myself more in the world. In my world,
because I began to realize that it was I who created my world, the word that I lived as
my reality. I embarked on a progressive diet of detoxification. I began to reduce the
frequency of my attendance at Ladanum’s workshops despite persistent solicitations
on their behalf. I turned increasingly to myself to find solutions to on-going
questions. I no longer sought the advice of my ‘brother in arms’ or parent-figure
Ladanum. In any case, I did not have his address or telephone number. At first I was
hurt; it was a kind of auto-punishment, a self-inflicted banishment that I experienced
as being like a kind of sensory deprivation. Less a question of lack of heroin than
lack of hero! Little by little I began to create a basis for self-confidence, setting off in
search of my own truth...to the clearing.
The clearing was at once sombre and luminous. Rugged and spiritual. Visible
and occult. Material and energetic. Carnal and spiritual. Son et Lumière! The sound
of the spade clinking against entrenched stones. The recrudescent light that
accompanied each discovery with each respective stone coming forth from earth and
coming back to awareness. But the path was littered with obstacles, not the least
those truths that I managed to hide so effectively from myself. “You’ve carried your
cross to Brittany.” as Corinne had said. I carried my 'cross' (tenet) by displacing
literally tons of earth, rocks and stones on my chariot of a wheel (rota) barrow. I
directed this work without the “idea and intention” of a John Stears in 1882. My
body was weary with knocks and bruises to saturation (sator- ation; satori ration)
point. An opera of sound and animation with scarce repose (repos)!
S A T O R the labourer; at his plough; the planter;
A R E P O the plough; in his field; directs work; on his cross;
86
T E N E T he/she holds or directs; the “cross” that holds the world; is
master;
O P E R A Oeuvre, work; swirling of watery fire; by his sacrifice;
R O T A S wheels; origin, creator; of destiny.
(A Latin palindrome discovered in Pompeii in 79 A.D.)
‘The planter Arepo holds the wheels to their works’? ‘Man knoweth thyself?’ We
each hold the key of knowledge within us - we just need to work it out! Eight letters
– S A T O R E P N – that gives birth, anagrammatically to: “O P E R A N T S”! In
psychological terms, this refers to an element of effective ('operant' fr.) behaviour.
108 years separated the birth of John Stears and my birth in 1950. And 109 years
separated Stears’ departure in 1888 at the age of 46 years, and my arrival at Leuhan
in 1997, a young 47 year-old. Life would appear to be cyclic, as it has been since the
beginning of cosmological time and ancient civilisation. Lives, too, link together:
depart at 46 years, return at 47. According to Liliane, “those up there” had been
trying to persuade me to come to Brittany for the last couple of years. Indeed, having
returned to France with my French wife in 1995, she had wanted us to settle down
there. I had insisted unequivocally: “Anywhere but Brittany!” I had always been last
in the class and here I was again, at least a year behind times!
A timeless war has waged between the Forces of Light and the Forces of darkness
in accordance with four cyclic ages - birth, youth, adulthood and old age. Traditional
'Cyclology' considers that there are equally four universal ages. Firstly the Golden
Age, the primordial paradise of Krita Yuga that has a duration of 25 920 years. This
is followed by the Age of Silver, the Tretâ Yuga that lasts 19 440 years. Then comes
the Bronze Age, or Dwâpara Yuga of 12 960 years. Finally comes the Iron Age, Kali
Yuga that lasts for a period of 6 480 years. 64 800 years in all, of which a third, (21
600 years), are dominated by the Forces of darkness while the Forces of Light
preside over a total of 43 200 years. We are actually living out the final years of this
cycle of the Iron Age.
If the first age is like paradise and completely luminous, the second age
begins to become a little unsettled. By the third age, the Forces of Light and those of
darkness are equally balanced. During the Iron Age, the Forces of darkness dominate
and preoccupy themselves essentially with the appropriation of ”good souls”, or, at
the very least, attempting to divert their attention from the impending Golden Age,
which will be fatal for them:
“As Satan’s job is to destroy souls, he occupies himself today, in his role of
prince of this world, as the Gospels call him, to DISTRACT by all possible
means men in this end of our Cycle, in order to kill in them all memory of their
origins and all preoccupations with the last endings...”
(Jean Phaure. Le Cycle de l’Humanité Adamique. Ed. Dervy. 1996)
87
Powerful elements of the Forces of darkness are more than likely to hide
themselves and dissimulate their game to such a point that we are likely to discover
them – occulted, veiled – at the very centre of those structures that, paradoxically, are
intended to represent the guardians of truth and the Love of God:
“From a certain point of view, The Church invented the Devil. On an archetypal
level, Satanism has become institutionalised. The demonic egregore, ritualised
by abstruse rites and sacrileges, has become a reality, given allegiance to its
elders the monotheist religions of which it is the bad conscience. But let’s not
fool ourselves: the greatest trick of the Devil consists in making us believe that
he does not exist at all.”
(Pierre Manoury. Encyclopédie du Chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. p. 212)
The end of the Iron Age is often marked by a reversal of Earth’s polarity,
which conveniently punctuates the reversal of the Forces of darkness’ dominance in
favour of the Forces of Light. From darkness to light; it is a very propitious time in
which to advance and to evolve towards the resolution of specific problems of
individual souls and, by inference, to the resolution of what might be resumed as
life’s overall problems. Simply beware of the pedlars of false truths that are
widespread in these times:
“Deter Light Servers from their path? They know very well that awakening
Light Servers are seeking to understand their newly developing consciousness;
they (the Forces of darkness) therefore utilise every effort to efficiently deform
the truth underlying this awakening and thereby mislead as many Servers as
possible. This is achieved by proposing substitute to Truth and impressive but
false and often complex philosophical systems, that may appear to many people
to be useful and authentic, but which are in fact conceived to nourish and ardent,
albeit subtle, penchant for personal gratification, reducing the vibratory level of
consciousness leading to loss of personal power, and creating dependence. These
wise tricksters among us today attempt to neutralise the Servers' mission, with a
preference for crushing and completely destroying everything that can be
aligned with the Divine Plan on Earth. They disseminate all kinds of extremely
interesting information in their campaign that is designed to trick and distract as
greater number of individuals, groups, and organisations as possible from the
message of Love and service which is, itself, immutable and spiritually healthy.
They are also capable of performing miraculous healing and manifest impressive
psychic powers in order to inspire the masses’ faith, to subsequently conquer the
adoration and fidelity of the gullible.”
(The Divine Plan)
Faced with the blinding sun of the new dawn, few people will notice, and
even fewer complain about, the remaining shadows of the preceding night! Shadows
that merely serve to validate the day’s luminous radiance. “Light springs from the
shadows...”, as Liliane would say. Rays of light.
Rays, solutions...
88
11 Karmic resolutions
On Thursday the 26
th October 2006, I heard the loud, raucous voice of a
woman with an American accent echoing around the castle. I came out to fetch one
or two logs for the fire and glowered menacingly at two ‘intruders’ who were
loitering beneath the giant thuja tree opposite my flat. I re-entered, but the noise
continued. It became louder and louder as it approached my doorstep. A few
moments later I heard Jean-Pierre add his chirpy, enthusiastic voice to the general
cacophony as once again I emerged.
- Ah! Here is one of our likeable tenants, he eagerly announced to the couple.
- I’m not as likeable as all that, I replied, scowling at the vociferous woman
disdainfully.
Jean-Pierre explained excitedly that she was a descendent of the Malpeste
family, (N.B. this is a fictive name), who had previously owned and resided at the
castle. She came forward to greet me and immediately began to explain that it was
thanks to her that we could now all sleep peacefully in the castle. She had “cleaned”
the castle of its tortured soul, that of John Stears. According to her, he had committed
suicide in the kitchen where he had agonised for many a long year.
I explained that I too had liberated certain trapped souls, somewhat affronted
by her vulgar, presumptuous manner yet intrigued by her reference to John Stears.
Her words confirmed the Malpeste family’s belief that Stears had committed suicide,
in spite of the official version that he had died at Brest, where he was subsequently
interred.
- You have a slight accent, she said to me.
- You too. Anyone would think that you weren’t British! I retorted.
We immediately launched into a long conversation in English, (or rather she
in American, which is not quite the same thing!) Identifying my ‘Queen’s English’
accent, the young man announced provocatively:
- There was another English subject here in the past - a dog! He was a British
bulldog called ‘Cromwell’ and he’s buried in the grounds.
The original (Oliver) Cromwell was the military politician who governed
England as Lord Proctor from 1640 to his death in 1658. He too was a descendent of
the Tudor family. But this Cromwell was the dog that had guided John Stears to
numerous discoveries at Leuhan. I pretended not to have heard him, Jean-Pierre
eclipsed and in next to no time all three of us were in my flat where I was busily
89
explaining to them that it was I who had been John Sears in that previous life.
-Yes I know, she announced calmly, as if there were nothing at all extraordinary
about all of that, adding: I was the woman that he loved!
She explained that not only was she the great-great-grand-daughter of John
Stears but that she had reincarnated in this life as a psychic with a mission to “save
souls”. In this life, she was the daughter of Count Malpeste and during her youth she
had lived with her family at Leuhan Castle in the very same room in which I had
been living for the last nine years. She used to sleep in the nearby house 'Ty an
tortue'. She had returned ‘energetically’ in 2004 to save John Stear’s soul, six years
after my arrival at Leuhan. And six years was the exact length of time that John
Stears had lived in deep depression, between the disappearance of his loved one on
the 1st May 1882 and his own death in 1888.
She was called Sassy, and the young man accompanying her was John Stears
great-great-grandson, Lewis. I had already read an old article in the ‘West France’
newspaper all about the history of Leuhan Castle and the Malpeste family. There was
even a photograph of her with her two sisters and parents next to the fireplace with
its engraved motto “Honni soit qui mal y pense”, which finds its origin in the
inscription on the escutcheon of the English Royal Coat of Arms. (It was also my
mother’s favourite refrain!). Sassy belonged to a family whose members were
descendants of Joan of Arc.
They were both on their way back home from a holiday in Ireland and did not
have much time to spend, having stopped overnight in order to take some
photographs in memory of the castle as well as pick up some of Sassy’s belongings
that she had left with the neighbours many moons ago. But I nonetheless invited
them on a lightening tour of the clearing – an opportunity to remount time! Sassy
was enthusiastic and Lewis tagged along like (another?) dog with its tail between its
legs. As soon as we arrived in the clearing, Sassy started charging up and down,
excitedly throwing out indications about the meaning of respective stones based on
her feelings and intuitions.
“This stone shows us what will happen if Man doesn’t pay attention to what he’s
doing on Earth... That’s a fertility stone... This is an ideal spot for meditation...”
Ta-ta-tee; ta-ta-tah! She was like a windmill, but visibly impressed by what
she saw and felt. I never came here when I was young, she had exclaimed. But when
she was young almost all of the stones were buried and out of sight, like so many
other past memories waiting to be revisited. On our way back from the clearing she
told me that I should be grateful to her for having saved my soul. They left soon
afterwards.
I found it hard to sleep following this extraordinary encounter. I had just met
my own great-great-granddaughter. Here was a person who had deliberately
incarnated as a descendent of the Stears family, (because John Stears’ daughter,
Béatrice, subsequently married into the Malpeste family, into which Sassy was
90
subsequently born, in order to “save souls” in general, and that of John Stears in
particular. And strictly speaking, we should quite simply never have met! Because,
had it not been a Bank Holiday I would have been elsewhere at this time, animating
my Thursday groups at Plabennec. On the other hand, Sassy was just ‘passing
through’ on her way back from Ireland to her home in northern France. She had not
returned to the castle for several years and, furthermore, had not planned this
spontaneous visit! I kept churning over in my mind everything that had been said.
The next day, Sassy left a message on the answer-phone asking me for the
name of the “fellow” in the oak tree, the hamadryade. I immediately telephoned her
back and, given that she claimed to be a psychic medium and to have been Stears’
long lost loved one, I started to fire away questions at her to find out what exactly
had happened at that epoch. Why, according to Ladanum, had ‘she’ left Stears to go
and live with his best friend? A best friend who, to boot, had allegedly raped her! I
almost lost my temper with her. For all of a sudden, I found myself thrown back into
this past together with its accompanying concomitant feelings and emotions as I
demanded an explanation for her sudden and irrevocable departure.
While I was bombarding her with questions at nineteen to the dozen, she
suddenly announced that the name “Pierre” had just entered her mind. I didn’t know
anyone called Pierre offhand. There was Jean-Pierre, the proprietor of the castle. But
no, it couldn’t be him; he had a good heart and a generous nature. So I continued to
seek out ‘Pierre’ in my mind – I was a bit of an expert in the matter, as there were
plenty of ‘pierres’ (stones) in the clearing! It was time to delve into my ‘grey’ matter!
“The next day I phone John, I’ve forgotten the word for hamadryade, I leave him
a message and a telephone N°. John calls back and all of a sudden its time to
account! John is no longer in the 21st Century, it’s Stears on the phone,
reproaching me, “why did you leave me for my best friend?”; “I know that
perhaps I was not very good, but can you imagine the suffering that I went
through?” I asked him to be a bit more explicit and he became John again. One
of his friends called Ladanum had told him the story of Stears’ life, and of his
tragic ending, the woman that he loved had left with his best friend having first
raped her. I made a joke in bad taste such as “she obviously didn’t mind being
raped”, or “she must have enjoyed being raped” and then I had a flash: That was
the one that I went off with, his friend in the other life. “Pierre” came to my
mind. I told John, who I sensed writhing in pain at the other end... of the line.”
(Sassy notes, for The Other side of the Mirror.)
At the same time, I was left feeling uneasy with the situation and with the
way Sassy went about pursuing things. It was as though I knew nothing, (which is
more or less true), while she knew virtually everything thanks to her mediumistic
capacities. Having recently established a bit more self-confidence, I suddenly found
myself somewhat distraught by these new developments that had unexpectedly
surged forth, reactivating my sleeping cellular memories. There seemed to be a
climate of mutual suspicion that reigned during some of our exchanges. I
remembered Ladanum’s explanations regarding the resolution of karmic debts. If
Sassy had specifically returned to liberate Stears’ soul, what had precisely occurred
91
between them; between this person she claimed to have been, the name and veritable
identity for which we still had no trace?
A week later was the 2nd
November, the ninth anniversary of my arrival at the
castle and the Celtic festival of Samhain, All Saints Day or Halloween. Once again I
could not sleep. I thought about this enigmatic ‘Pierre’ and the profusion of
interrogations surrounding the central question: “Who was Pierre?”. I decided to ask
Jesus to throw light on the situation. I began to visualize all kinds of images, starting
off with Jesus’ face in the Turin image, which was followed in rapid succession by a
series of others, including those resembling faces from Cro Magnon times... which
led made me think of the stones in the clearing, these ‘pierres’, and of this joke and
potential book-title that I was bound to write in 2008 called: “The discovery of
Pierre”. Suddenly I literally leapt out of bed. Discovery indeed! Because I had just
remembered that engraved on the base of the “Kebir” statue, in stone, by Pierre, was:
“V LA PIERRE 1883 BREST”
Incredulous, I dashed outside in the pouring rain with a small pocket torch to
verify what I already knew was true. Yes! It was there all right. V. La Pierre, and not
simply ‘Pierre’, had sculpted the castle out of stone. Sassy had only picked up part of
the answer, albeit the most essential part of the puzzle. And there was this ‘V’ that
preceded ‘La Pierre’. But I already knew what this ‘V’ stood for; it was one of
several names inscribed on the plaque over the castle entrance: ‘V’ for “VICTOR”!
The same forename as that of my best friend in this life, Victor Ladanum! Two
“best” friends!
“Boom!”
“Boom” went my heart, “Boom, boom, boom...” at a rate of knots. And
“bang” went my head! In an instant the locks burst asunder. Sonia’s words in Paris
came flooding back from the depths of my memory:
“Beware! Victor doesn’t want you to escape! He wants your innocence! He’s
after your soul!!!!! Steer clear of this person: It’s the Devil!!! Danger!!!”
I remembered that Sonia had also seen “mental manipulation” and “dishonest
partners”. At the time I had put this down to the Mateh family. I now realized that
John Stears’ best friend and 'experienced sculptor' at the time the construction of
Leuhan Castle’s, Victor La Pierre, was none other than John Scott’s best friend in
this life, Victor Ladanum! Well yes, Liliane, it nearly was a case of “Pierre’s
victory!”
I was immediately invaded by a wave of revolt, in all meanings of the word;
rebellion, nausea and revocation – all underlined by an excruciating sense of fear.
But I was no longer going to follow suit! The same reactive force at the sight of
blood that had made me 'see red' in the Loc Mazé incident exploded to the surface! I
was livid! I was more than livid. No! That was enough! This was just too much;
STOP! I had no longer any doubt now. I KNEW! I could no longer pretend that
92
‘perhaps’ there was a mistake or just my imagination, thereby further avoiding
confronting the facts. It was time to break free. It was time to overcome the
underlying fear of being on my own, alone, and face up to life. I was nowhere near
ready in Paris in 1997 at the time of Sonia’s scary diabolical revelation; I was ready
now.
But first, no matter how strongly I felt cheated by Ladanum, I also felt
equally afraid. What would he do once he found out that I had discovered who he
really was? Would he come back to kill me again, like he had done in the last life?
Would he resort to energetic attacks? He had told me once that his best friend in
Siberia was now a Russian Mafia chief, gallivanting around (the Benz?) in a posse of
Mercedes with bodyguards (rushin' around?) armed to the teeth, exploiting his
considerable energetic powers to his own profit and ends. Would he have a ‘hit-man’
sent out to do me in? Would he try and prevent me from revealing my discovery?
I became sick with completely mixed emotions ranging from fear through
anger to the eventual calm recognition that I had an all-important decision to make
and to subsequently respect – to the death if needs be. It was the only way to resolve
once and for all what I was experiencing, which resembled the agonizing death
throes of a wounded animal...or man! I was simply going to have to stop relating
everything I thought and everything that I was living to what or how Ladanum may
or may not react. It was time that I became the centre of my own world. As long as I
continued to ‘situate’ myself in terms as how the ‘other’ or Ladanum may react, I
was avoiding assuming total responsibility for living my own life. At the same time,
I was thereby continuing to ‘feed’ the very forces that were abusing me. Typifying
fear-based dependence... an allegory reflecting the same mechanism that operates
behind fear-based acceptance of duality and of 'societal authority' that has
contributed to the collective amnesia of Mankind for several millenia.
However, it wasn’t until I realized that there was now one essential,
fundamental difference that changed everything concerning my ‘historic’
relationship with Ladanum that I could genuinely begin to overcome my worst fears:
I now knew what he had known all along. Even if I did not have all of the details of
every past and current event that linked me with Ladanum, I now knew who he was.
So, there was no longer any need for me to nourish fear-based projections of
subsequent catastrophic scenarios. John Stears died in ignorance of who Ladanum
really was. Today, I was no longer in the same (potential) situation. No matter what
happened to me hereafter, I was now fully aware. This meant that no possible benefit
could be drawn from my having to relive (sic) the same end as Stears.
Once I had made my decision, it still took me a considerable amount of time
to completely resist and evacuate the resurgent fear-based regressions that continued
to reactively panic for my safety. And I decided that the most efficient method for
overcoming this dependence was by means of symbolic action. I also realised that
my actions needed to be pure, in the sense that they should harbour no ill-will,
remorse or negative intention with regard to those people concerned, for I would
otherwise simply further exacerbate and prolong the very links that I sought to
93
relinquish. I was going to have to undo all physical as well as energetic links with
Ladanum, as well as with all of our mutual acquaintances...
Sometime later, I learnt some more of the multiple links between “Victor”
and “Pierre” (stone):
“VICTOR: “Victor (winner)” or “won over”, because that is its etymological
sense. The forename affirms confidence in victory, with a risk of imprudence
that may lead to the opposite. Briefly, Victor has a duty to succeed, to be a
winner. More literally: “ a feeling of internal imbalance (V) pushes him to take
heed of his intuition (I) to theorize (C = pronounced ‘sait’ = to know), then
realize a work/oeuvre (T) of great value (‘or’ = gold)”. We cannot help
thinking of Victor Frankenstein, the hero of Mary Shelley’s novel. Contrary to
current opinion, Frankenstein is not the monster’s name but that of its inventor.
It reads : “victory at risk of defeat.” (Victor) through the liberation (frank,
from the German frei and the English free) of the stone (pierre; stein in
German). “Liberate the stone (pierre)”, isn’t this exactly what Victor tried to
do, with such dire consequences, in trying to create a man by electrifying inert
matter?”
(Luc Bigé. Petit Dictionnaire en langue des oiseaux. Ed. Janus. 2006.
pp. 165-6)
These words above represent a retrospective premonition of my sudden
awareness in 2006. “Reversed” as regards the electrification, for Stears found himself
locked in the stone coffin of the castle basement, his ‘current’, his ‘vital energy’
having been interrupted at source, so to speak, by the cerebral explosion ignited by a
gun blast. A finishing stroke to toll the knell, a salvo of gun tracer to reduce him to
cinders without ceremony or trace. Stears saw stars. Liliane’s words, too, were a
premonition, written on a New Year’s card in 1998: “...Never despair. Light springs
from the shadows...and the stone (‘pierre’) whispers the solution.”!
Both John Stears and John Scott shared the same ‘person’ with the same
forename – Victor. A forename that was engraved in stone beneath my nose and that
of the majestic Kebir, cocking a snoot at all and sundry since 1883! The clues were
so visible that I did not see them. Other clues were apparent for all to see, at the very
entrance of the castle, engraved in marble. There were five names, one of which had
no forename, “LACROIX MASTER OF THE OEUVRE”. Man, woman or
androgynous, like the two figures on the Scott Arms (N.B. See the frontispiece)?
Symbolic allegory? Or perhaps, (whence no forename required), quite simply a
reference to Christic Knowledge, the master architect behind the Great Work? (The
One who 'gnosis' onions?) Or does it refer to Christ Himself, for whom the cross
(Lacroix) symbolises the unification of Human Nature with Divine Nature – source
of eternal inspiration and our common heritage that awaits revival?
The stones in the clearing reserved secrets of the same calibre. As in alchemy:
“a process of creation and evolution that applies itself to matter while engendering
repercussions on spirit.” (Beauchard). Work on brute matter in order to evolve
towards (almost, because only God is) perfection and attain eternity. Victor La
94
Pierre, an experienced stone sculptor, and John Stears, theosophist, alchemist and
learned man, worked together to give a meaning to stone:
“Brute material extracted from the quarry, the stone is called upon to take, at the
hands and the spiritual willpower of man, a perfectly adapted form for its
destination in the oeuvre as a whole. They who work it must be in osmosis and
harmony with the global plan, in the same way that the alchemist conducts their
action and maintains their spirit in perfect accord with the universe. The
difference between the stone engraver and the alchemists exists certainly, but it is
relative. Transformation or transmutation, the aims and the means are different;
but the sense in which, on the one hand, action goes, and on the other hand, spirit
goes, situate themselves on similar trajectories. The fact that one is more
advanced than the other on this trajectory is secondary because very relative
between zero and infinity, time and eternity.”
(Jean Beauchard. Le Tarot des Alchimistes. Ed. Vega. 2006 p. 43)
The names of John Stears, that of his wife and of ‘Lacroix’ all feature ahead
of that of Victor La Pierre located in a position that was: “more advanced than the
other”. There is no doubt that, for numerous years John Stears and Victor La Pierre
were “in osmosis and harmony with the global plan.”. They pursued the same
trajectory, first at the castle of ‘Kerstears’ at Brest, then at Leuhan Castle. And,
according to Ladanum, he had pursued numerous lives together with John Scott.
Brother Magyars here, warriors there... But there came a time when one was “more
advanced than the other.” And, in the beginning of this life, it was apparently Victor
who was more advanced than, and ahead of, the other... who had previously lost his
head, so to speak!
But there is no short cut on the road to man’s individuation, to authentic self.
All karmic contraventions shall be heavily sanctioned...once they have been
discovered. But who could have imagined what had happened to John Stears, and
how? Like family secrets, there are certain mysteries that pass from generation to
generation before finally being elucidated by someone. During this time, ancient
souls continue to re-encounter one another until their mutual agendas are balanced
out.
An illiterate person puts the sign of 'the cross' ('La croix' fr.) in place of
signing their name; which does not mean that they are called ‘The cross', nor that
they have no name. The cross is purely symbolic. In the same way, the evocation of a
cross to 'name' something that up until now has been tacitly accepted without having
been inscribed in words somewhere serves the same function. Some cultures have no
name for “God”. The Sioux Indians, for example, have no name for 'spiritual' or
'Divine' because everything is spiritual; here, in order to name something there must
first be an absence...
The axis mundi, the Tree of Life, the centre of the organised world serves as
the place in which the three states of Man can inter-communicate - physical,
intellectual and spiritual. The straight lines of the cross serve paradoxically to
suggest circularity, life’s cyclical nature itself, as indeed do the ‘sun - moon - sun’
95
aligned on the Scott arms - all invoked by these words:
MAY MY SOUL AND THOSE OF MY CHILDREN BE BLESSED BY THE LORD
AS IT WAS FOR ALL OF MY ANCESTERS.*
One thing is certain; if the past no longer exists and the future is not yet
manifested, the present cannot be measured unless it is by a cross that thereby unites
the four cardinal points in one single space-moment at its centre, there where all
lineage 'exists' in one and the same spot. This is why the present moment is the
“Cause”; the past and future both extending simultaneously backwards and forwards
from this moment within time!
Let us, then, cross our fingers...
*(N.B. The Magna Carta, drawn up on French soil on the 15th June 1215 against
Jean Sans Terres (1166-1216) cited: “ By the inspiration of God, for the safety of our
soul and those of all of our ancestors and of our heirs...”. Jean Sans Terres - whose
anagram reads: “Jean Stears né (= born) R (= rex = king)!” - was at the origin of the
Welsh nobility and of the Tudor Family!)
96
12 Energetic V’ampirism
I immediately contacted Sassy by email to inform her of my discovery but I
didn’t have time to go into details because her immediate reaction was to say that she
wanted to meet Ladanum!
She asked me where he was to be found and wanted me to contact him and let
him know that now I knew everything. That I knew about our shared past at the
castle and of the role that he had really played at this epoch. I told her that I had no
idea where he lived and that I had no means of contacting him. I mentioned that he
was due to organize a workshop that was programmed for December in the Sologne
region of France. She didn’t seem very convinced by my reaction, finding it hard to
believe that having known him for nearly ten years I still had no way of contacting
him. And I was somewhat surprised at her reaction, too. She was the person that was,
according to her, raped by Victor La Pierre/Ladanum in her previous incarnation, and
now she was all for us setting off together to confront him!
“I told him that he could tell his friend that he knew the truth, and at the same
time I was struck by a kind of unwholesome curiosity, I want to meet this
Ladanum. John doesn’t know where to reach him, the cousin (N.B. Lewis) said
it would be better to ask Miss Tic (N.B. a psychic friend of Sassy’s) first. Miss
Tic said that yes John was John Stears, and when I talked about Ladanum she
blew a fuse! I must stay as far away as possible from this man; he’ll be the death
of me if I see him. As a result, John falls into the same boat, and it’s a whole
new saga that begins. Ladanum as in Harry Potter, he’s got a scar like me Harry,
and Ladanum is VOLDEMORT, the one we do not name.”
(Sassy. Notes for her book, mail sent on the 27th
November 2006)
Miss Tic had the same reaction to Ladanum as Sonia, nine years earlier. Sassy
and I nonetheless arranged to meet up at Locronan several days later to pursue our
investigations with her uncle, who turned out to be an extremely pleasant, dignified
man. Sassy e-mailed me a number of notes from her second novel; e-mails that began
to flow thick and fast for the following couple of months.
“I’m with my Uncle at Locronan, we’re going to see John, much to the
disapproval of all (N.B. the family). There he is, sitting on the calvary, a
rucksack slung over his shoulder. He is sitting on this cross. He looks like an ado
of seventeen, lost in thought. He’s dragging along all his unanswered questions
in his rucksack. He’s carrying in his head the fact that I’m coming to see him
against general advice.
He’s carrying this guilt, and at the same time this profound faith that tells him
that something is not right. Is he really bad? Why isn’t he in this life? Why does
he use his love for all the others? I arrive like an annoying tornado of energy
wrenching him from his reveries; I kiss him short and sharp, and leave him there
97
with my “chaperone” Uncle while I run to buy some fags. Ah ha, he’s a
thousand miles from imagining that I’ve seen everything...he just couldn’t
imagine that if I’ve made all of this noise it’s to prevent him from seeing that
I’m reading his soul. Mission successful, I really annoy him, I prevent him from
listening to his soul and to his heart, and I stop him from knowing, from
rediscovering the memory of that previous life. I do it deliberately, I must know
first; it’s only right, I’m a girl. My feelings tell me that this guy is not evil, that
he has never been so. And me, am I evil? Eek, that’s not in the plan! Not me, not
Sassy, the one who speaks with Jesus, the one who saves souls, it’s not possible.
I’m seized by appalling doubt, and then with a whisk of my magic wand I efface
this unbecoming image, and tell myself that we live in order to improve
ourselves and so it’s possible that in the previous life I was a traitor, but John
was an idealistic child and unsure of himself, so it’s fifty-fifty. One point each. I
was going to be able to answer this question with him just the same keeping my
head high. What had happened?”
(Extract from The Other side of the Mirror. Received on the 27th
November
2006)
At the time, (both when I received the e-mail and when I was at Locronan!), I
was too engrossed in my own thoughts to note Sassy’s reservations concerning her
previous role. This situation was a classic example of: “If you are looking for
problems, listen to your head; if you seek the solution, hear your heart!” Our ego
lives in our head and, like Sassy here, constantly tries to monopolize our attention
and distract us from the veritable source of wisdom and understanding – our soul -
that can be heard and felt only by listening to our heart. Reservations that rejoined
doubts emanating from her family and close friends concerning me:
“John must no longer be contacted, he is dangerous and will lead me directly to
V. He is his servant... My animal symbol is the magpie (N.B. the French word
‘pie’, magpie, also translates as a “chatter box” in English), and who says
magpie says curious, having sworn to the gods that I would no longer
communicate with John, my fingers crossed in my pockets...two days later we
were on the ‘phone. You don’t think a curious magpie worth her salts, that just
happens to come across someone with whom she shared a story together in a
past life, is going to drop everything and obey? So, it’s with malicious pleasure
that I disobey. He, John, does not play the game, and neither does Jesus for that
matter. John doesn’t know where to join V so he can’t help me, he doesn’t want
to, that’s the truth, and Jesus makes out so that I don’t get to notice the word
WORKSHOP in December. The more conversations continued with John, and
with Jesus, the less I fancied meeting V. There was something cowardly about
him that ticked away inside me. Day after day. This cowardliness became
evident. I had deliberately eclipsed it, because the femme fatale nature of my
ego, the Mata Hari of past lives pushed me to know more...”
(Extracts from Sassy’s writings, received on the 23rd
November 2006)
While Sassy resolutely positioned herself as being John Stears’ beloved one, I
couldn’t reconcile her claim with my awareness of the fact that she increasingly
98
annoyed me. We kept on exchanging ideas and information, like two detectives out
on some mission to resolve a murder plot, which, in retrospect wasn’t far from the
mark. But I nonetheless felt an on-going, underlying sense of betrayal. I told her
about my visceral rejection of all references to the Malpeste family since I had
arrived in Brittany. This was despite the fact that virtually everybody in the
whereabouts spoke highly of them in general, in terms of their ‘sociability’. There
were stories such as that of a baker delivering bread...and returning home the
following day having accepted an invitation for ‘a drink’! When I thought of the
Malpeste family, the recurrent image that came to mind was that of impostors who
had inherited the castle by default as opposed to merit. There was a deep-seated
resentment in the air; resentment that was not atoned by the fact that the castle had
fallen progressively into ruin since their arrival and eventual departure...
However, if I believed what Sassy had to say about Stears’ wholehearted
remorse at the loss of his loved one, I still couldn’t bring myself to accept the truth
behind of the role that she attributed to herself, if only because it contrasted so much
with the ambiguity of my sentiments towards her in this life. It was as though she had
something to seek pardon for with regard to me, inasmuch as John Stears; akin to the
resolution of a karmic debt. This would account for her having ‘saved’ John Stears
soul in 2004. But my overall impression was that she constantly seemed to re-write
this ‘past’ story in order to accommodate her ‘future’ aspirations and projects
concerning me in the present, (which lends credence to the notion that the 'present' is
the 'Cause' from which both past and future ensue). Projects and aspirations that,
manifestly, I did not share.
So, Stears best friend was called Victor La Pierre. However, Sassy's initial
fascination for him, that was so spontaneously enthusiastic that it suggested that
some antecedent familiarity existed linking the two of them, was subsequently
expressed by a sense of cowardliness that she finally identified as belonging to La
Pierre himself. The cowardliness of someone who had raped her...before going on to
kill her (perhaps) with the aid of two other men! Her first declarations about this
extremely sensitive and painful subject suggested that Ladanum had acted alone:
“...Why cowardly? John told me the first day, yet it took me more than a month
to realize: he’d raped me. Rape is the last resort for someone who fails to get
what he wants! This meant that neither his charm, nor his intelligence, nor his
personality had succeeded in putting me off Stears, so he used the most abject
arm possible for a man against a woman: rape.”
(Sassy notes, sent the 23rd
November 2006)
This realization was going to lead to the understanding of other related
matters, because as a young girl Sassy suffered regularly from nightmares in Leuhan
Castle. Nightmares in which someone raped her. She had imagined this person to be
the ghost of Stears. And it was only today that she discovered that it was not Stears
but Victor Ladanum’s soul! Energetic rape; energetic “V’ampirism’ – diabolic
vampirism that ceased at the age of puberty. So, she had spent so many years
thinking that her very own great-great grandfather, John Stears, had caused her so
much harm. Not only harm against her but against her family as well, because there
was also question of a
99
‘pact’ having been drawn up with the Devil that was attributed to him:
“I was stupefied to realize that it was not Stears who had raped me and
prevented me from becoming what I was intended for, who had rendered my life
unsupportable, it was V’s soul. There’s no doubt that it was John Stears’ soul
that I went to seek out in the Sufferance Cave. It was Stears that Abba took
warmly in her arms, it was well and truly this innocent child, more guilty of
auto-inflicted sufferance, that we went to seek out down there. “ He asks you for
forgiveness for having killed the light in him...” And me? V. killed the light in
me, around me, he sullied me, he slaughtered me, he soiled my soul, and also my
love. He killed me... This woman was no longer dancing; this woman had lost all
the magic and joys of life. V. had cut the fabulous ray of light that connected her
to Jesus and certainly as well John’s ray...”
(Op. Cit.)
As our relationship went on, Sassy increasingly modified details as if to better
accommodate fresh information and clues that confirmed the truth of events, thereby
awarding herself the position that she wanted to occupy, at least as regards the past.
She subsequently transmitted numerous visions or versions concerning the rape,
while never definitively being able to establish her exact identity at the time, apart
from being John Stears’ loved one:
“... on your wife’s orders, who had learnt about it from V. La Pierre. Before
dying, I mentioned the child. As Lady Stears had only had daughters, (N.B. In
fact, Lady Stears had three daughters; Marie-Fanny Marcelle, Marie Marthe, and
Béatrice, and also a son, Morley), this boy put their heritage in danger. You
(Stears) were always anxious for me because you knew that there was a risk, so
not always easy-going... It was easy for Victor La Pierre, (Ladanum), to tell you
that I’d gone off with another man. But what gnawed away at you was that you
knew that I would never have left without my son. It was on a sunny day during
the works that La Pierre took me with him in the wagon with stones in it, he was
going to a quarry to look for more, where? I went off with him, leaving my son
with a neighbour who lived at ‘Ty Ruz’. La Pierre raped me in broad daylight,
before killing me (no choice) in the quarry. My remains are still there. Granite
quarry where? You (N.B. John Scott) are nearest, you must find it. When you
(Stears) came to Leuhan, he told you that he’s seen me go off with someone. The
neighbour confirmed his story, because when I entrusted her with him, I told her
that I was going out with someone and that it was risky for the child. I didn’t tell
her with whom because she was a servant. La Pierre must have asked me to
choose some stones on your behalf...”
(Sassy e-mail, the 10th
December 2006)
I told Sassy about the times that I had asked Ladanum for precisions on
Stears’ life, and how he had said that Stears’ loved one had left him unexpectedly to
go and live with his best friend, who had first raped her:
“Yes, because he lied to you, he knew very well that I didn’t go off to live with
him, I leapt off a bridge in Brittany just after the rape, you (Stears) never knew,
100
neither about the rape nor the suicide, or was it your best friend that threw me
off the bridge having raped me. It’s logical, that he should say that SHE left with
your best friend, you moped around, you didn’t look for the truth, because you
were ridiculed... I think that Stears protected me (Sassy-) as well as he could,
after, he could do no more against Ladanum... Sadness because he could no
longer help me...”
(Sassy notes, sent by e-mail on the 23rd
November 2006)
Much later, Sassy was to recount, with no undue pain, torture and rape at the
hands of three men, one of whom was Ladanum
“I had to get back to this famous night in question... All of the invitees to the
Masked Ball had to show an invitation card before entering (because being
masked, anyone could have entered). After a while I went outside, there was
dew on the grass and the stars were shining. Then, three men. I was on the
ground, my clothes were torn off me, my mouth was full of blood. I couldn’t feel
my nose or my mouth. They were probably broken. I see a man’s two balls
above my head. They are wanking in my face; the other one is in me. I called
Mummy and then I could see my body from above, alone, dragging along the
grass on its elbows. Then a boot struck me in the head and everything became
black. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t come. I really believed that you
were going to save me, but no, you were busy sulking in the house, beside
yourself with jealousy. They beat me up and killed me while you “were in a
mood”. It’s a horrible experience and I must get over it. I feel/felt profoundly
betrayed, and when I called my mother, I understood why I should not have
followed you. I knew that I was going to die and I didn’t know why, why you
didn’t come. I even thought that you knew what was going on...”
(Sassy e-mail on the 10th
February 2007)
These acts were of a singularly barbarous nature and totally undignified of
Man. (A year later, the woman claiming to be Stear's former veritable loved-one was
to recount the denouement of her own story. The woman in question is a shaman
whose informational and energetic value go a long way to explaining why they
would have gone to so great pains (sic) to kill her. She described how these brave
men kept her in life for hours and hours, raping and torturing her. And how, in the
end, they forced a metal tube down her throat so that she could keep on breathing
while they systematically pulverised every bone in her body!)...
“Man’s inhumanity to man
Makes countless thousands mourn!”
(Robert Burns. Man was made to Mourn: A Dirge. 1785)
Words fail...
...
In the meantime, I was about to learn a number of things in quick succession that
were to modify my understanding of my life...or lives. Sassy now recalled John
101
Stears’ soul that she had saved in 2004; this soul wasn’t black with blood on its
hands! When she returned energetically to the castle to save his soul the remains of
his brains were still plastered on the kitchen wall – the other side of the wall where I
had been living for the last nine years! Sassy described what she had 'seen':
“You were lying down, or rather squatting, in the dark, like a path in the woods
shaded by trees; you couldn’t see anything. Then you were crawling, your face
in tears. Stears had red hair and brown eyes I think; you were big over there,
long brown curly hair, blue eyed, tall and thin with blue jeans and a black
jumper. You were very very handsome, it’s obviously your soul that I met; I
know that it’s beautiful! Age? The same age as that of all souls including mine,
30 years, maybe 33... After nine days you walked in the sunlight with God, hand
in hand, super... Your soul is now fully, powerfully luminous. There you go!”
(Sassy, 6th
November 2006)
“By the way, I went behind my wall yesterday, to look for the memory of your
suicide and I found it. Wow, was it happy to meet me again. Jesus was there, but
for the first time he was on my right-hand side, and when I went to search for the
memory, there was another memory that fought like the Devil himself, but
against Jesus, no way...There was blood on the walls and a partially damaged
brain...But it’s all spick and span now...”
(Sassy e-mail, the 27th
November 2006)
She had ‘intervened’ then, six years after my arrival at the castle. Stears had
sunk into a deep depression that lasted for six years (1882-1888), before eventually
finding his “Waterloo”! Exactly the same length of time that I had lived ‘in the dark’,
as if blindfolded, not knowing where I was going, what I was doing there or why.
And Stears soul continued to agonise until 2004, on the other side of the stone wall,
immured there by La Pierre. But even more important, Sassy now realized that Stears
did not commit suicide; he had been assassinated.
Assassinated!
Assassinated by whom, and for what reason? Assassinated by his best friend
with a shotgun, exploding his brains against the wall. Violently assassinated in order
to benefit from his former ‘state’, or estate, and appropriate a large quantity of the
accumulated value of his soul and its related energetic qualities. And this soul was
left to agonize in its underground tomb, the castle basement. Another violent death,
like that of Stears’ loved-one six years earlier, with all of their respective energetic
‘fallout’ that La Pierre intended to perpetuate, life after life, by occulting Stears
soul’s passage while - the ultimate ‘coup de grâce’ - assuring Stears’ ignominy by
writing a pact with the Devil in his name. Finally, assassinated in order to prevent
him from realising his mission, having first eliminated the woman who collaborated
so closely with him up until the time of the Masked Ball in1882. The ‘masked ball’
with which La Pierre de-masked Stears, disfiguring him (no question of a stray ball
here!) in a bloody, faceless death.
102
The Malpeste family had handed down this story from generation to
generation; not only that Stears had committed suicide but that he had also made a
pact with the Devil. This pact was allegedly engaged for evil powers in exchange for
the cessation of his children’s descendants, and thereby that of the family. For La
Pierre intended to inherit for himself the benefits of the family patrimony. Over and
above discrediting Stears with the unacceptable social crime of suicide, the
realisation of this pact was avoided only by the subsequent intervention of a Voodoo
in Haiti who saved in extremis the life of the only descendant of Stears’ union with
Béatrice de Tropbriand, namely Mari Antoinette Lydia Béatrice de Malapeste.
The Manichean nature of the rape and assassination conspiracy of Stears’
loved one, lived by him as an unexplained and inexplicable disappearance that led
him to plunge into a relentless depression for six years followed by, as a bonus, his
own 'assassination', were two very good reasons to ensure that Stears would not
realize his intended mission on earth during that incarnation. It met a violent end.
Today, the same up until now victorious ‘Victor’ struggled like the Devil to
maintain the subterfuge; to continue to imprison this good soul John Stears and veil
the true nature of past events, occult all evidence of betrayal and, moreover, do as
much as he could to prevent this other John, me, from realising his mission in this
life too! A wager that would have appeared to have paid off until 2004 and the
liberation of Stears’ soul. A liberation that would immediately free John Scott from
his karmic trap and open up the possibility to pursue his mission that had been up
until then interrupted, diverted and betrayed:
“I left strict instructions that were not applied by my family.
Our family has been betrayed.”
(Message from John Stears via Liliane, on the 27th
November 1997)
This message, with its reference to “family”, remains sufficiently ambiguous
to merit further investigation. His strict instructions did not reach his family that was
thereby unable to apply them? Or did certain individuals conspire with members of
the family to apply instructions that did not comply with those of Stears? Or was it
simply a question of one member of his family failing to respect his instructions?
And what if Sassy had been Lady Stears, at once John Stears civil wife and
Victor La Pierre’s intimate friend and associate? This would go a long way to
explaining her immediate desire to re-join Ladanum upon hearing about him in this
life. The same Ladanum who had arrived nine years earlier from Siberia to lead me
to Brittany in August 1997 for a workshop, only a few miles away from the ‘scene of
the crime’. Likewise, Sassy too came to look for me at the Castle – firstly for my
soul in 2004, then ‘live’ on the 26th
October 2006. As she wrote later:
“Eek, that’s not in the plan! Not me, not Sassy, the one who speaks with Jesus,
the one who saves souls, it’s not possible. I’m seized by appalling doubt...”
(Extract from The Other side of the Mirror.
Received on the 27th
November 2006)
103
But yes, Sassy, it was in the plan! For why would I have to “forgive” Sassy if
she had never previously done anything detrimental to me, if she had not betrayed
me in the first place?
“You were a pawn in Victor’s game, who knew that we were going to meet
again, we would meet up at least once. If you want to overcome the weight of
your karma, you must subsequently forgive me, not me today, me from the
previous life...”
(E-mail from Sassy on the 1st November 2006)
Otherwise, how else can all of these changes in identity and of the
circumstances be justified? At first, she said that she was an Italian dancer, (N.B.
John Stears had the title of 'Knight of the Italian Crown' and had studied at
Livourne, in Toscany.), who was part of a dance troupe in Brest, and that she had
fallen under Stears charm and had remained. Then she was a shaman, who danced on
the stones in the clearing and concocted mysterious potions for John Stears. Then a
Canadian of American Indian origin... On one occasion, she committed suicide by
jumping from Lambézellec viaduct, (which was the birthplace of John Stears and
now has become part of Brest). Another time, she was raped and subsequently
assassinated in a quarry by Victor La Pierre. Or rather, she had been tortured, raped
and then killed by three men at the Masked Ball on the first of May 1882...
It is possible that all of these people that Sassy ‘felt’ or ‘picked up on’ had
existed; she is, after all, a psychic. But given that she was both aristocratic and of
American origin in this life, it is more than likely that in this previous life she
occupied the personality of a certain Béatrice Denis de Keredern de Trobriand, born
on the 10th
November 1850 in New York and who was later to become Lady Stears:
“I was Canadian, a mixture of Indian blood, and was part of a veiled ‘comédia
del arte’ theatrical troupe. I was a psychic medium, carefree, head in the clouds.
I was with my troupe in Brest, where we met. I don’t know whether it was at
‘Ker Stears’ (N.B. a castle that John Stears senior constructed at Brest). I had a
young son by you (N.B. Stears), and who at eighteen months resembled your
photograph in your book...(...)... I lived at Leuhan in the Tortoise house, ‘ty an
tortue’. That’s where you had installed me. You lived elsewhere with your wife
and your daughters. I often went to dance on the stones, with my troupe’s music
in mind. I didn’t see much of you, which explains the long periods of sadness
and the short moments of joy. I was killed during the construction works at
Leuhan, by you know who. My child was kept at Leuhan for 18 months, then it
was drowned...”
(N.B. I can confirm the occurrence of a young boy’s death by drowning in 'my'
basement bathroom that had been ordered by a jealous woman, apparently Lady
Stears. I liberated his soul in 2006.)
But the elimination of John Stears in 1888 had not just retarded him
indefinitely in the realisation of his oeuvre. The conditions in which Stears was
suppressed were conceived in such a way as to condemn him to err (as opposed to
'steer'!) perpetually in the spheres of ignorance, cut off from all coherent links that
104
could allow him to subsequently resume his past mission. The six years that were
spent deploring the inexplicable departure of his loved one meant that the diverse
philanthropic projects that he had envisaged, along with other poles of interest,
became, like his appetite for life itself, suspended if not reduced to nothing. He
already suffered from a bleeding heart...and soon his head was to follow suit!
Nothing appeared to bring him back to reason, to be able to understand what
had occurred. He found no plausible explanation for what he experienced as being a
lover’s betrayal and abandon that had come without warning to strike a fatal blow to
all of his certitudes. He thought that he had found everything that he needed to
achieve his aims in life. He thought that he had discovered felicity and love, up until
her fateful disappearance. A woman who did not belong to the wealthy aristocratic
world of superficial external appearances. A woman-fairy or magical shaman, whose
disappearance brought Stears irrevocably back to face himself and question his true
purpose for living on earth:
“You are not interested in superficial appearance... Above and beyond practical
objectives, your preoccupations bring you to question yourself, of the sense and
nature of your being. This questioning is likely to be the even more arduous
because with Pluto you have neither a model nor supportive help: you will have
to find your own truth within yourself and by yourself, at risk of plunging into
self obscurity.”
“...You are likely to know periods of hard restrictions in which all that was
conceived of in terms of success, luck and felicity, collapses as if the ground
upon which you had built your hopes was nothing but sand or swamp.”
(Astrological theme of John Stears)
There was only one credible source of support for Stears, and that was the
very person that was responsible for his undoing. This friend who had told him, (as
he was to retell him a hundred odd years later!), that he had seen this loved one go
off with someone else. John Stears, and subsequently John Scott, both sought to
inform themselves of the 'truth of the matter' and depended exclusively upon the self-
same source of information by referring to their mutual best friend, both equally
unaware that they were being duped. Stears plunged into a long night of despair,
awaiting his final deliverance. Everything that he had envisaged had crumbled to
dust, like a sand castle, and like Leuhan Castle that subsequently almost fell into
ruin, his (now mixed) 'descendants' became incapable of maintaining anything more
that its shabby, external appearance.
“I left strict instructions that were not applied by my family.
Our family has been betrayed.”
(Ibid. at 23h30 on the 27th
November 1997)
His questions were blinded due to an insufficient source of light capable of
enlightening the zones of darkness.
Failing Divine intervention.
105
13 Mind games
“Imagination is not a state: it is the whole of human existence.”
(William Blake)
A hundred and nine years after the assassination, divine intervention
manifested itself in the form of a completely inconceivable encounter with 'my' great-
great-granddaughter in the very same kitchen basement in which Stears was forced to
swallow his final, indigestible meal.
Sassy had arrived in great pomp on the 26th
October 2006. A big hullabaloo
in a short space of time, like a tornado passing through exploding all ramparts in its
path and liberating over a century of walled-up despair. Her arrival was
indispensable in order to ensure the sudden awareness that ensued and permit the
unveiling of mysteries. She had not returned by “hazard” and she was ill at ease to
find herself once again at the castle. She revealed this through a lapsus calami (her
“desire to remake history”) that turned out to be a premonition of her subsequent
fluctuating positioning:
“Hazard brought me back to my father’s place so that I could recover some
belongings that had been left nearby for over eleven years. A desire, or rather a
force, pushed me to go and visit the castle that had since been sold, just to remake
history, and in particular to see the place since I had liberated grand-pa’s soul.
The castle was darker than dark and literally haunted so I was going to get to the
bottom of it, the lions at the entrance seemed to have aged, and the one lying
down was terribly sad. Like an animal that you’d left with someone and which
awaited the return of its master, it’s me the master, and I felt guilty for having left
it for so long, it had grown old and weary. The other lion stood guard without
much conviction. It was there, that’s all.”
(Sassy. The Other Side of the Mirror. Chapter: ‘John’)
This Sassy, this mischievous magpie was beginning to become too much! The
castle paid homage to alchemy, a practice that “consists in cancelling out
dispersion”. This goes a long way to explaining why Sassy couldn’t stand being
there. She was herself extremely dispersed by nature, spreading herself thin, saying
one thing and doing the opposite and invariably trying to keep control over the other
by creating distractions;
“I feel, briefly remember, my mouth saying things that my brain had not
ordered. (In saying that, it doesn’t mean to say that as a rule I think before I
speak, because I don’t know how to...)”
(Sassy. The Other Side of the Mirror. Chapter: ‘John’)
Before meeting me on that particular day then, Sassy put her return to the
castle down to “hazard”. Later on, or rather straight away, she knew that we shared a
story in common in this place:
107
“...All of a sudden Time stopped. He is the reincarnation of my great great
grandfather; a psychic had led him here so that he could complete his oeuvre. I
told him that he had committed suicide in the next room, because of a woman,
that this woman was me, and that I had reincarnated in order to save his
blemished soul, which I did three years ago. I didn’t teach him anything he did
not already know, and even I, I wondered how come he didn’t recognize me...
John surrounded me with his aura and whisked me off on the tracks of the past, a
common past...
(Op. Cit.)
It was doubly ambiguous that “I” didn’t recognize her. Firstly I did not
recognize her for who she was not; in other words for John Stears’ loved-one. And
secondly, I failed to “recognize” her for being whom she had been in this former
common past: Lady Stears herself!
This was at the beginning of a frantic three-month period in which Sassy was
to turn my head round in circles, mixing up established facts with passing inventions
in order to nourish her own vested interests. But her initial reaction to Ladanum,
coupled with her visible reluctance to remain in the castle’s proximity, led me to
believe that if she had had a common past with Stears it was one that appeared to
indicate an antagonistic relationship rather than one based upon reciprocal love. It
was more likely a purely impersonal and conventional (in the strictest sense of the
word) relationship that respected the aristocratic norms of the times. Aristocratic
norms that were nonetheless to become unconventionally affronted by the
subsequent marriage of Lady Stears to a Count who was twenty-five years younger
than herself.
I continued to try and fathom out some kind of coherent understanding of the
link between John Stears’ past and my present life as John Scott. At the same time,
Sassy’s dynamic if not dispersive functioning stimulated many a reflection and
increase in awareness. She had only recently come to realize since her childhood,
that Stears was not evil after all. That her family history and her own memory had all
been manipulated from beginning to end, in the same way that John Stears had been
duped. There I was, feeling almost guilty for having been John Stears in this past life,
given the ‘bad press’ that he seemed to have inspired from all sides, and yet at the
same time on a gut level not relating myself at all to the identity that he had been
allocated:
“I knew that I wasn’t evil, but I didn’t understand where this atrocious sense of
loss came from, albeit accompanied by this internal rebellious force, viscerally
anti-authoritarian... Why so much emotion?”
(John, on the 21st November 2006)
Following the last workshop that I attended in September 2006, I realised that
Ladanum had never made the slightest reference to 'Love', to 'open-heartedness', or
to 'Light'! I had been blind. I only saw what I wanted to see, heard what I wanted to
hear. I hadn’t seen him for who or what he was, there before my eyes. And like my
mp3, I hadn’t heard him either! What I did hear on occasions was Ladanum saying
that if you help others you lose your own energy:
108
“Obviously, egoism and egotism are diametrically opposed to...Love’s Divine
Law, and so even if our own shadows follow us, difficulties are likely to pursue
someone who transcends this law. However, the simple truth is that our greatest
good lies in the help that we can bring to others, and those with spiritual
aspirations really progress when they contribute to others’ advancement. Such is
the law of Love, this glorious cosmic principle under the direction of which each
one of the innumerable worlds throughout infinity is made possible, and because
the divine force of love itself impregnates them all silently. The quintessence of
the Universe is Love, and consequently it is Love that should be incarnated and
expressed by each individual...
- He who thinks that his life is too important to be given voluntarily in sacrifice
to save his brother does not warrant entering in to Life.” (Jesus)
(The Divine Plan)
So, like the alchemist I continued to filter through the impurities with the aim
of clarifying the details this murky stuff made of ‘matter’, hampered and at times
impeded by all of the concomitant emotions. But at least now I knew! And in next to
no time, all pandemonium let loose! If I seemed to be suffering from a contrasting
mixture of elation and shock in my head, the same confused chaos broke our all
around me. I immediately became aware of the presence of powerful, energetic
perturbations and attacks from all quarters.
The 2nd
November marked the ninth anniversary of my arrival in the castle,
exactly 125 years after the death of John Stears father in 1881. First, two light bulbs
(a new 'source of light', one for each birthday?) exploded in each room. Then the
refrigerator and source of food supply broke down and had to be replaced. The
portable telephone handset de-polarized (lost its bearings?) and remained cut off. So
now this mobile source of communication with the external world, - emission and
reception of information - was momentarily grounded and immobilized. I had to
substitute it with my original form of communication; the fixed-line, coming down to
earth on my terrestrial telephone. And the Internet facility on the computer packed
up too: 'virtually' no more contact with the external world!
New energies were manifestly ‘V’ying' for position with my recent coming to
awareness. The very same day I lost all sound on my Bose CD player. What was
going on? I had just begun to undo the first of many ties – both personal and
energetic – with Ladanum and his consorts. I had just written and expedited what
was to be my latest and last e-mail to the Inter-sidereal Federation of Sibylline
Energetic Tsars to terminate my association’s affiliation with them:
“ This decision... to rescind all contact with the Federation is accompanied by
no bitterness, regret or animosity towards anybody concerned. On the contrary,
while it remains essential, irrevocable and without appeal, this decision is taken
in a spirit of love and serenity.
What is involved here is simply to untie all “professional” links with the
Inter-sidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars... I would be grateful if
you would respect this wish to the letter...
109
I appreciate that this decision shall stimulate certain questions among some
members. It’s like ‘The Fool’ in the Tarot; once he has completed one of his
terrestrial paths, he jumps into the void in order to begin another one.
I was pleased with the path we followed together, up until now...”
(Detail of a letter dated the 2nd
November 2006)
I quickly understood the reason for all of these ‘breakdowns’ that occurred in
the space of a matter of hours. Electricity, telephone, computer, hi-fi, even the gas
bottle ran out! These were typical and symptomatic examples of terminations, of
‘freeing up’ or releasing from spontaneous and habitual forms of dependence. It took
me several days to finally get through to the telephone company to register my loss
of Internet. Imagine my surprise when I was informed that there was no interruption!
I had continued to be ‘connected’ technically to the Internet, the www/world wide
web, without visibly having access to it; in other words, without my conscious
knowledge! The computer was connected at base, but there was an anomaly at the
'inter-face' level of the control panel. My contact with the outside world was still
intact, simply occulted. An internal suspension veiled appearances. I was eventually
able to passively admire the adroit manipulations of the Internet technician as they
restored visible contact by reprogramming my computer’s own hard disc at distance!
And all of a sudden it struck me. Of course! That was how Ladanum had
manipulated me for all of these years without my knowledge! While I had remained
impassive, he intervened to re-programme my personal 'hard disc' and thereby
accessing himself into all of my past and present energetic and informational riches,
including those of all of the other people with whom I lived or worked with! At the
time I worked with approximately eighty people a week in groups alone. He had
access to my entire energetic heritage from all past lives, including that of John
Stears, not to mention the respective heritages pertaining to my Scott and Tudor
ancestry and numerous other past lives.
Our informational heritage, be it related to the existent family (genealogical)
lines or to our past lives (karmic), is carried through to each fresh incarnation
whether or not we remain consciously unaware of its content on a personal level.
From this moment onwards, I was going to have to assume and maintain unique
control over the distribution of my energy around me. I was going to have to unravel
all of the energetic ties with Ladanum and proceed towards my own individuation,
once liberated of his shackles. I first had to de-programme everything before
reconstructing systems on my own basis. I had to resume control of my situation.
This involved disconnecting all plausible direct or indirect links with him
throughout all of my personal contacts. All contact with my ancient friends and
colleagues in the Inter-sidereal Federation of Sibylline Energetic Tsars was
definitively revoked the moment any individual expressed the intention to continue
their relationship with Ladanum. Otherwise he would be able to continue to ‘access’
information from me via the third party. All of his books, notes, papers and so forth
were ceremonially burnt. Incombustible objects or ecologically detrimental material
such as plastic videos, cassettes or DVDs and so on, were stored in a black suitcase
before being incinerated in the communal furnace which, given the historical
110
circumstances, was very appropriately located at Lambézellec – John Stears
birthplace!
I contacted everyone concerned that I knew to inform them of my decision
and to offer advice to them where necessary. I visited and re-called all of their books
that had been placed for sale in the local bookshops. All possible lines of connection
were interrupted and brought to a close. And although I continued to suffer from the
shock of this discovery the opportunity to be able to intervene actively in this fashion
enabled me to constructively focus my energies instead of dissipating them in
negative recriminations or morale-sapping fear.
Higher dimension realities have always existed. It’s only that today, many of
us have become distanced or ‘cut off’ from their existence, thereby excluding
ourselves paradoxically from what is our true, 'multidimensional reality'. However,
some (and an increasingly large number of) people have preserved or rediscovered
access to these other worlds that can inform us about our real existence, our veritable
identity, of our purpose on Earth and all of their respective implications.
Unfortunately, the abuse of such faculties can lead to reprogramming a persons
evolutionary itinerary in the same way that I saw the hard disc being reprogrammed
at distance.
Ladanum was one of these people capable of working ‘at distance’, given
their ability to access to multidimensional worlds, cross time-barriers and generally
inform themselves about people and situations at will. There is nothing hostile
intended by this statement; it is a simple fact. For example, it is widely known that
healers have the capacity to work at distance too. Nonetheless, protocol insists that
this type of work should always take place with the tacit and signed permission of the
recipient person involved, which is usually written on the back of their photograph.
This is an example of the fine line between black and white magic. To work without
such permission, even with the very best of intentions, is tantamount to indulging in
black magic because there are greater implications involved than those limited to
pure protocol or moral considerations. According to Jean Scot Érigène:
“If the nature of demons is evil, it is not evil in itself; because evil is not a
corruption of evil, but a corruption of good.”
The fact that evil takes place so often without our awareness constitutes one
good reason why we continue to reincarnate and return to Earth. Because if we were
immediately consciously aware of all the stakes involved, of the challenges to
understand and overcome, there would be little point in returning here. In fact, there
are no more ‘breakdowns’ in life than there are ‘accidents’; every situation serves a
purpose and conforms to our expectations in order to facilitate our evolution, even if
we are often unaware of their underlying purpose or significance at the time.
“God is equally the cause of opposites... Because, just as Good pulls those
beings from a state of non-existence in order to allow them to exist, Evil seeks to
corrupt all beings and to completely destroy them so that they cease to exist.”
(Jean Scot Érigène. De la Division de la Nature. Ed. Puf. Book I & II. 1995.
pp. 171-172)
111
So Ladanum was not an accident or a pitfall in my life. It is thanks to him and
his role in this and other lives that I came to understand and resolve a certain number
of things. But not without first of all facing up to and overcoming the initial fear that
surged forth to accompany the new awareness of my situation. Was I going to
continue to remain the prisoner of those ancient demons - fear and lack of self-
confidence? Or was I going to decide to open the door that leads to the luminous free
expression of life’s potential?
“He by whom everything became created with such wisdom ingrained in each
visible creature teaching and light, in order that their soul could aspire to the
intelligence of spiritual questions.”
(Op. Cit.)
And who says “light” these days says “electricity”! The human being itself is
electro-magnetic. Examples of energetic interference or 'electrical parasitism' such as
those experienced at the time were symptomatic of the energetic power-level
realignment that is expressed through familiar household and other current forms of
energy distribution. I had played the role and fulfilled the function of an 'electric
conductor' for Ladanum. Each successive conscious awareness on my behalf was
accompanied by a corresponding electrical distortion as the flow of power re-adapted
itself to the newly revised conditions. The original destination of the energy was the
Power Station – Ladanum himself. My coming to awareness in this decidedly
electrical context enabled me to switch my attention away from the nourishment of
fear-based dependence to the pursuit of confidence and of faith in the forces of life:
“What could be considered as being miraculous by some is nothing but a
metaphysical dynamic that leads to the utilization of natural forces; faith acts
both as a magnifying glass and as a conductor, that make this dynamic possible.
Just as electricity – powerfully present everywhere – only becomes effective I
the presence of a conductor, so too “supernatural” power only becomes effective
when accompanied by faith, be it faith in the divine intelligence of the Creation,
faith in an ideal or even in one’s own spiritual nature. History attests to the fact
that blind faith can be cultivated quickly and easily among the credulous, those
who have needs or desires. For those in search of divine experiences, may it be
known that the egotistical, enthusiastic researcher full of exuberance and hope
can quite easily encounter base or lower astral frequencies and phenomena and
be duped into taking them for spiritual revelations and saintly wisdom.
Furthermore, these crafty entities that are the sworn enemy of truth and justice
know only too well how faith based on egotistical motivations can be exploited
and used as a kind of void sucking into it certain surrounding forces and thereby
doting the individual, (or group with which they are linked), with diverse astral
and etheric energies that are nothing else but poor imitations of the very superior
forces in which their faith had been invested.”
(Servant of the Divine Plan)
As soon as I became aware that I was serving the role of an ‘energetic
conductor’, I could immediately interrupt the process as simply as turning off an
electrical switch and thereby cutting off the current. Or rather, switch on the light to
112
reduce the level of darkness! And the overflowing enthusiasm and blind faith
formerly expressed in favour of Ladanum in no way compensated for the loss of
awareness of my own divinity, the divine spark that glimmers within each and every
one of us. By growing to acknowledge its presence and by cultivating a spirit of
fraternity devoid of egotistical aims we can protect ourselves from the menace of
energetic parasitism from these crafty incarnated or astral entities.
I read into all of these electrical changes a reflection of my own energetic
behavioural patterns following the recent revelations that liberated waves of karmic
and terrestrial tensions. My Bose CD player sudden gave up the ghost too! I
contacted Bose and they immediately arranged for a carrier to come and collect the
player for inspection in Belgium. The CD player was duly returned with a 'Repair
Report' that indicated that there was no functional default inherent in the system. In
other words, there was nothing inherently wrong with me. But the Bose still did not
function. Everything had worked perfectly elsewhere, abroad in Belgium, but not at
the castle. Once again, I returned the player to them. This time Bose contacted me by
telephone (restoration of communication by more direct means) to glean further
information. Amongst other things, they wanted to know what the “lighting”
situation was in the room involved, (and was it 'Tropbriand'?! N.B. 'trop brilliant' fr.
meaning: 'too bright'). The Bose visual display control panel automatically adjusts its
frequency to the ambient 'light density'! As it transpired, there was no deficiency in
this particular department... They returned the CD player, accompanied by an
additional handset to enable me to grasp hold of the situation anew and re-gain
control over it? A new ‘control’ panel at hand, at no expense to myself.
Indeed, this ‘high fidelity’ system had not let me down. So (who Gnose?)
what really the default was with the Bose? This particular Bose was of 'American (as
was Lady Stears, Béatrice Tropbriand!) origin'; it required a European trip-switch
adapter in order to function on the appropriate frequency! There were two available
calibrations, and at one point the 'Low' had been nudged across to the 'High', causing
system saturation or 'overload'! Nonetheless, during this three-week 'Bose' period,
there was a transition from one source of energetic 'nourishment' to another. I had
begun to “face up to the music”, the implications of de-wiring all of my previous
connections with what had been “music in my ears” – Ladanum. The source of
energy nourishment was in transition from the (up until recently) habitual La
Pierre/Ladanum-orientated system, via a dual return (Brittany/Belgium; trip-switch
mechanics) in two temporal epochs (1882 and 2006) back down to Earth - the 'Low'
frequency band - to the original source.
The Bose player, too, returned to its source of creation where it was deemed
twice in 'succession' (Stears/Scott) to be intact with no inherent default that persistent
research could not unveil. I knew that something was wrong surrounding my (past
and present) history at the castle, but I had to wait until I rediscovered my own voice,
by listening to the profound internal silence that is located in the heart, at the source,
and not within the transmitter. I had to return, in time, to the same place in order to
rediscover the awareness of what I had lost sight and sound of: that unwavering
calm, internal voice of truth that patiently awaits our attention. My mp3 had
forewarned me against the dangers of filling my head with Ladanum’s ('His Master’s
113
Voice'?!) emanations; for prior to this time, I had filled my head, my days and my
groups with his voice.
At last I was going to be able to resolve this network problem, this
communication breakdown. La Pierre/Ladanum had gone to great lengths to
orchestrate my demise by interrupting my own 'music' and preventing me from
hearing the truth. Scottie’s choice of my second name, ‘Malcolm’, also reveals
concealed inherent clues that indicated this underlying desire to impede
communication. I learnt later that as soon as Scottie knew that twins were expected
he had encouraged my mother to abort. This particular attempt at my life (I was
beginning to get used to it by this stage!) proved to be abortive! So, faced with
Hobson’s choice, he unconsciously inscribed his dissension within this revealing, if
not cruel, appraisal of the fateful consequences of both the moment of conceptual
ejaculation (to come, v.) and its seminal realisation (come, n.), in the only name
(among the nine forenames of us four children) that had been left for him to choose:
Malcolm...
Mal come!
114
14 Cosmic chromosomes in holographic reality
So how could Ladanum have programmed me?
Today, our wise scientists can prove that our brain is not as was previously
thought; limited to emitting impulsions or 'messages' along a straight lines of axons
or by dint of neurones. It is now openly recognized that the brain is capable of freely
transmitting information across its internal 'space', in other words without material
support from the body. Like a mobile telephone that no longer requires a conducting
‘earth-line’ with which to ensure communication but which instead transmits its
audible (and unhealthily noxious!) waves as freely as the wind. Noxious waves that
join a multitude of other communications to criss-cross at will both brain and bodily
cellular space. There is no limit, ‘material’ or otherwise, that prevents the
transmission of information-laden waves that weave to the four corners of the Earth
and beyond into space. No more than there was an invisible ‘Maginot Line’ that
somehow prevented Chernobyl fallout from crossing the Franco-German border, as
government statements claimed at the time!
Before Watson and Crick, scientific thought claimed that the gene’s
intelligence was 'fixed' at DNA level, because our DNA was chemically stable. It
was thanks to this stability that it was supposed that we inherited genetic
characteristics from our ancestors. But the genius of, and the ingenious know-how
transported by, neuropeptides and neurotransmitters nowadays transcend the
apparently immutable laws of classical physics to re-join antique and our
contemporary “qu-antique” wisdom, that recognize that everything that takes place
in the physical world leaves a trace in the Cosmos as a whole.
“ The DNA is the literal vessel through which the illusionary experience of
physical, external reality is manufactured...when you are shifting your
consciousness and using the imagination to program desired thought-forms into
the past, present or future, you are literally reprogramming the frequency
patterns of your cellular content and the operational holographic program that
will manifest into physical reality through the DNA.”
(Ashayana Deane, Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000. p. 158)
In the same way, we are (not only) at once 'actors' within our holographic
dream/reality film; we are simultaneously the Director, screen-writer, the décor, and
all other actors and components in the film!
“...every cell stores not only memory, in the form of coded electrical impulse,
but also stores the very codes of translation, the Keylonta* light-symbol codes.
They are the means by which memory is translated into sensual data and the
means by which the illusion of three-dimensional reality is manufactured.”
(Ashayana Deane, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001. p. 128)
115
These 'Keylonta'* Codes govern the activities of the subconscious symbol codes
contained within human DNA. They are the intrinsic, interior geometric-electric and
magnetic structures that create the foundations of all form and structure within the
dimensional systems. A language of light, sound, pulsations and vital energy. And
the method whereby form is created and maintained within our system. The
language of energy relationships – the foundations upon which all of our languages
and modes of perception are built. They set everything, then, from the type of body
that we will manifest through, the genetics of that body, and also the chemical,
hormonal and energetic functions that keep its 'wheels' turning.
So, the movement of 'intelligence' needs no material support in order to
manifest itself or to realise itself, much less to lose itself . No more than do the
movement and disappearance of 'virtual' money in the world of high finance! The
process of positron emission by tomography enables the observer and photographer
to view a thought’s trace in relief, in holographic form. We can now confirm the
ancient wise sayings that have echoed for thousands of years how the body and the
mind, the material and the invisible, constitute parallel interactive universes.
“I am not a human being living a spiritual experience;
I am a spiritual being living a human experience.”
The body is a physical representation of what the mind is in the process of
thinking... or rather, of what is in the process of being thought through us! It is less a
question of “I think, therefore I am”, than “I am what is thought!” I am thought.
Because each thought, in this as in any other situation or life, leaves a trace. Cellular
memory retains a trace of everything that has happened to us, whether it ‘occurs’ to
us consciously or unconsciously. We know, then, everything about us, even if we are
unaware of the fact! By delving deep into our (cellular) memory, by permitting
ourselves to genuinely listen to and hear ourselves, we can finally begin to aspire to
the adage “ Man knoweth thyself”.
“Humanity was created as a creator species, which means that thoughts and
actions entertained by the human will be met in manifest experience, both on
Earth and in the life experiences that take place beyond the earthly planes. The
choices one makes in thought and deed will determine the quality of experience,
or lack thereof, that will be personally encountered in feeling and event.
(Ashayana Deane, Voyagers Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 p; 106)
Our brain, like our body as a whole, is capable then of 'picking up' messages
without physical intermediary support, (just like a Bose player!). Thought both
transcends and creates everything. The universe is thought. Reality is thought.
‘Matter’ is thought. Our past is thought; our future and our present too. Thought
thinks, therefore I am! We are all this thought and all thought is us; nothing
separates us, one from another. And I shall continue to be what I think that I am,
until my thoughts modify themselves. Until I pierce the veil, seek beyond words,
behind appearances. As Descartes did not say: “I am thinking 'it', therefore I am
Spir-it!”
116
“All of that is human, rivers, mountains, towns and villages, and if you enter
them, you travel through the heavens and earth just as you find sky and earth
within yourself along with everything else that you perceive; well, even though
it seems to be outside, in reality it is within, in your imagination, and this
mortal world is only shadow.”
(William Blake.)
Recent discoveries demonstrate how each material cell in the body has the
autonomous capacity for thought. Both thought itself and neuropeptides share the
same “impossible but true” characteristics as the waves and particles of quantum
physics. 'Light' could not 'logically' be at once photon and mass-less particle but at
the same time, a concrete and immaterial wave...could it? Yes, apparently. Because
'logic' belongs to the three-dimensional space-time continuum in which the thinking-
human being navigates on Earth. However, the object of our thoughts – photon,
navitron, particle, wave, or big toe in a stream, etc. – belongs simultaneously to both
material and immaterial, invisible and multi-dimensional worlds. Beyond mere
appearances. A ray has a corpuscular structure: it is composed of photons, so there is
a wave-particle duality. So this “object” is described dually, as being both wave and
particle:
- Daddy, is it a wave or a particle?
- Yes.
- Daddy, is the electron here or there?
- Yes.
- Daddy, do scientists really know what they are talking about?
- Yes.
(Banesh Hoffmann. The Strange Story of Quanta. Ed. Seuil. 1967)
Who would have thought! In other words:
“The perceivable experience of movement, passing time, matter, space, distance
between objects and separations of forms is an illusion created by the
multidimensional holographic refractions of particles and anti-particles, which
pulsate and spin at varying speeds and angular rotations in relation to each other
. The movement of particles itself is a holographic illusion; movement only
appears to be such when consciousness views itself through the layered prisms
of multidimensional order.”...
“All dimensions exist in the same space, but seem to operate separately due to
the particle pulsation rates of which they are composed. Particle pulsation rates
are created by degrees of angular rotation at which particles and anti-particles
spin in relation to each other.”
(Ashayane Deane. Voyagers. Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000. p,129)
According to Michel Kaku, light furthermore is a reflection of the Fifth
Dimension and is not limited by the confines of Third-dimensional space-time.
Scientific 'advances' (which are, in fact, simply recapitulations of ancestral
knowledge), in the domain of quantum physics have served to transform the
117
restrained and mechanistic view of the world that hark back to the times when such
notions of time and space were considered as stable, immutable and universal
references. Today, matter can no longer be dissociated from consciousness, no more
than can the ‘intention’ that colours their interaction. Elementary particles are
timeless, beyond time, hopping (from what may continue to be known for
convenience’s sake as) past, present and future. They are our very own timeless
parcels of truth; and it is in this way that, with each nano-instant, the soul transcends
the material limitations imposed by our physical vehicle on Earth, our body.
So we can no longer be content with, and count on, what we ‘see’ to verify
truth. We need to seek beyond reality’s illusory veil to get in touch with what’s what,
bearing in mind that our thoughts shall conspire to reinforce the vision that we have
initially envisaged. As long as I resisted all questioning of the ‘reality’ and
authenticity of Ladanum’s friendship, I remained imprisoned, “in the dark” so to
speak. And as long as nobody sought beyond appearances (and his tomb) to question
what had been said and done concerning the life of John Stears, the truth remained
veiled and mute.
Meanwhile, if our brain is capable of receiving signals and messages without
recourse to intermediaries and if our world is constituted of thought-energy beyond
its material appearance, this means that we are (all) capable of receiving all thoughts
and all impulsions that are directed to us...whether or not we solicit them. We are
rather like radio sets; we are capable of picking up all kinds of frequencies on a
variety of wavelengths, but our consciousness is usually only 'tuned in' to one of
them at a time. In other words, we are unconscious of the multitude of information
flowing to and through us at each instant. But our each one of our cells, which has its
own autonomous intelligence system, has thousands of receiver sites even though
only one or two of them can be interrogated and their messages translated at any one
time. A bit like the particles and waves that never simultaneously constitute the 'same
thing' at the same time, (...or in the same space-time or moment-time), depending
upon our 'point of view'. We either 'see' a wave or see a particle.
The same thing applies when considering the reception of 'malicious'
information that is directed at us for ill-intentioned or evil purposes. Our cells pick
up and absorb all of the 'attacks' and wounds that the body experiences quite
independently of our consciousness. And these marks remain beyond time,
nonetheless ready to remount to the surface, in the same way that scars originating
from previous wartime torture situations may once again 'reappear' while the person
is under hypnosis. Scars the traces of which remain at the heart of cellular memory as
if they were carved in stone. At the heart of the memories of the collective
consciousness, together with Akashic records which link all of us to one another
through a morphogenetic field. The morphogenetic field being the form-holding
energy constructions that allow matter and anti-matter particles to build into
individuated form:
“Particles and anti-particles are composed of units of multidimensional sound
or tones, and within each frequency band there are base tones and overtones. The
process of merging particles and anti-particles in order to create the merging of
118
frequency patterns is the process of bringing together base tones and overtones
that emerged out of the same morphogenetic field. When base tone and overtone
merge, a resonant tone is created, through which particle and anti-particle merge,
and transmute into pure energy. They return to the morphogenetic field carrying
with them the new frequency patterns that they picked up from the Unified Field
of the dimension in which they appeared, which in turn expands and adds energy
to the original morphogenetic field. When the particles and anti-particles are next
expressed into manifestation, they will appear within the next frequency band up,
as their rate of vibration was increased by adding the frequency patterns from the
dimension they just left. It is through this process of building dimensional
frequencies into morphogenetic field, through the merging of particles and anti-
particles, that matter forms evolve up through the dimensional scale.”
...The morphogenetic field of a person exists as part of the larger morphogenetic
field of the planet, and so when a planet approaches the dimensional blending
point in its time cycle, the people on the planet also reach that point. People's
bodies and consciousness are composed of energy particles, and when the planet
approaches transition and transmutation of some of its particles, people on the
planet will also undergo this particle transmission.
(Ashayana Deane, Voyagers Volume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000 pp. 40-41)
And so it is with the universal hologram as it brings its multiple facets to
light, (photographic) cliché by cliché, nonetheless united in a Whole, as One. Here is
the summit of the iceberg that peeps through a chink of the surface of appearances to
monopolize our attention and thereby occulting its underlying, fundamental
foundations. Foundations that are hidden from the light of day, even though equally
necessary for the realisation of the oeuvre. Everything is linked and is part of the
Whole. Each life, every situation and every person are part of a morphogenetic
whole, part of a whole at each moment that in turn contains all Time. Just as each
cell in the physical body contains all of the information required to produce another
physical body.
“The complex organisation of all (holos) requires the inscription (engramme) of
everything (hologram) and all of its integral, nonetheless integral, parts. Thus,
the organisational complexity of the all requires the organisational complexity of
its constituent parts, which in turn require recursively the overall organisational
complexity of the all. Each part has its specificities but they are not so much
pure elements or fragments of a whole – they are at the same time virtual micro-
alls.”
(François Terrin. http://www.cvconseils.com/laser.html)
If I had been who I thought I was, I could have become what Ladanum left
me to believe that I was – a gutless (and almost headless!) suicide. When I heard this
'best-friend' of mine recount that 'suicides' were cowards, a statement that
corroborates certain religious dogmas and their notions of “sin”, I believed him.
Energetically speaking, it is true to say that a suicide does not resolve anything for
the person as far as escaping the suffering that they are undergoing is concerned.
119
Because once they arrive in the invisible spheres, they find themselves in an equally
inhospitable environment, enough to deter the strongest of souls. And due to the fact
that our body on Earth is not “us” but merely our vehicle, the suicide finds
themselves obliged to continue, but without a body this time, thereby lacking the
means either to solicit or explicit terrestrial intervention. And then, after a relatively
short lapse of time when they return to reincarnate on earth, they will have to face up
to some even more difficult and unbearable challenges. Just as long as it takes for
them to finally take things in hand. To recognize that they are the one, on the level of
their soul, who is not only responsible for having conceived of these challenges but
that has also provided themselves (somewhere, somehow – it is up to them to dis-
cover) with the means to resolve them.
Each of our 'lives' represents but a 'day' among the countless lives that
constitute our accumulated, simultaneous existences. A suicide will continue to 'live'
the same suffering and repeat the same fears and pains, only and more intensively,
for as long as their preceding life would have otherwise endured. They remain related
to Earth, even though they have no body. Religions discourage this practice in order
to maintain the constituent numbers of their troupe on Earth to aliment their
egregores. Maintain a level of fear and guilt within the troupe, yes, but not to the
point that it loses its head! A modus operandi that applies to all sectarian movements.
Ladanum was even less fraternal. He not only inculcated but, what is more,
assured the continued nourishment of a sense of failure within me. I was left to make
the most of the uninspiring image of a John Stears completely desolate and weak-
willed to the point of abandoning life itself. I continued to ignore all of the other
facets of Stears’ 'micro all'. Emotions alimented by the underlying fears of daily life
prevented me from getting back in touch with my profound feelings, my intuition
and my original 'strong intention'. This intention that invited me to call myself into
question – Vitriolum – but also my perception of reality such as I perceived it. Not
only the perception of contemporary reality but those of my past and future too...
120
15 Alpha and Omega: ...by way of a conclusion
(28/06/1842-2/11/2006)
“AmO...” was initially written in anger and out of fear that eventually
became transmuted into compassionate acceptance, once and for all.
“AmO...” here invites us to encounter the multiple facets of Self, above and
beyond simple egotistic concerns. It constitutes a call towards recognizing and loving
'Oneself' in order to be able to fully love others - these others who are none 'other'
than ourselves! Because Man comprises two natures – their manifested human nature
and their omnipresent, divine nature:
“Therein lies all of the enigmas and mysteries that are connected to man. It
involves first and foremost the mystery of the “homo-divinity”, which is a
paradox that escapes all rational expression. The person is only a human being
inasmuch as they are at the same time humano-divine. The divine element of a
human being resides in their freedom and independence in face of the objective
world.”
Nicholas Berdiaev. De l’esclavage et de la liberté de l’homme. Paris. 1946)
121
The significance of encounters is only too often occulted by the primacy that
is accorded to the more ephemeral considerations of life on earth. Or as it was in my
case, through the encounter with the realms of my own darkness conveniently
projected upon others in order to more easily identify and overcome them!
Nonetheless, we are all an 'I'; an 'I' that lives and expresses itself
simultaneously in two worlds; one immortal (the Self), the other mortal (myself). We
live simultaneously in the eternal, invisible multidimensional worlds and in this other
more tangible, visible world of so-called objective reality. And our constituent sub-
atomic parts live in both!
“These worlds are not opposed to one another, but different: one is for always,
and cannot change itself, the other never is, being always in the process of being
born. The eternal world, the image of the visible world, is identical to the world
of Ideas; the other, subject to perpetual change, represents matter. It was in this
sense that Plato distinguished the world’s Soul from the world’s body.”
(Marie-Magdelaine Davy. La Connaissance de Soi. Ed. Puf. 2008. pp. 107-8)
The multiple facets of the unique are always One. The same applies to us.
The moment that I love... unconditionally, I love myself, the other and accordingly
all and everything reciprocally.
“Love, the beloved, the lover are all One.”
(Op; Cit. p. 81)
Each and every one of us is this 'I' reunited in the same 'One'; one word that
creates all. The 'Verb' that creates everything from nothing, for everyone and
everything, everywhere forever. A 'One' that presupposes the eternal presence of the
Divine in and of all things. The Verb that comes from God and which expresses itself
through Man who is thereby the active and divine intermediary between Heaven and
Earth, this 'field of know-ledge':
“The Verb, it is the Greek word for Logos that Heraclites and the Stoic
philosophers called the active and divine principle of the world, the sovereign
and imminent reason for the Universe, the organic link between all beings...
Philon magnified the notion of Logos; a force emanating from God, and above
all else the being’s essence, the “God as One”, “(that) which subsists by itself”,
the principle of order, the reason for harmony, the intermediary of the Creator
and the created world, divine “guardian” of creation... “I am Alpha and Omega,
the beginning and the end.”
(Jean Phaure. Le Cycle de l’Humanité Adamique. Ed. Dervy. 1996. p. 357)
“AmO...” is a word that symbolises Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the
end of Space and Time that are implicit in the unconditional, timeless statement “I
love...”. Because there is no longer question of enclosing and limiting this Love to
one person or thing in particular, to a specific instant or to an epoch. “AmO...”
announces the end of dualities such as those expressed by the terms love/hate,
good/evil, light/darkness, that all belong to three-dimensional terrestrial space-time.
122
A word representing the relay point that unites human and divine Man, the passage
from terrestrial illusion to a state of Divinity. The end of space-time, (but not the end
of the World!), that has been announced by a variety of sources for the 21st
December 2012. The symbolic unveiling of the fear-based 'holographic illusion' of
terrestrial reality in order to bring to light the vibrant multi-dimensional nature of
multi-realities and the concurrent reality of Man’s own multi-dimensional nature
itself.
The letter, 'A' for AmO... aleph, the first letter of the alphabet and name of
the first Man, Adam creates 'All' starting from nothing. This ‘nothing’, zero, primal
chaos, is symbolised by the final cyclical 'O' that represents and includes at the same
time their opposite: 'All'. All united in 'One' via the median 'm'; the first letter of
'Man' as mediator between Heaven and Earth and the central letter of the alphabet,
the thirteenth. The number thirteen itself is symbolic of 'initiatory death' that here
qualifies Man’s central position and function during ‘life’ on Earth between Original
Creation and Eternal realisation. William Blake writes:
...Amaz’d in fear
I each particle gazed,
astonish’d, amaz’d ;
For each was a man
Human-form’d. Swift I ran,
For they beckoned to me
Remote by the sea,
Saying : ‘Each grain of sand,
Every stone on the land,
Each rock and each hill,
Each fountain and rill,
Each herb and each tree,
Mountain, hill, Earth and sea,
Could, meteor & star,
Are men seen afar.’...”
(William Blake. A New Life.)
On the 2nd
November 2006, I realized that my idea of ‘love’ was equally
imaginary - an illusion. A sad illusion because it was based on the principle of
duality that inevitably served to nourish my corresponding fears and lack of
confidence. I naïvely thought that Man was capable of promoting Love in Earth’s
space-time context without automatically, incurring the very opposite and preventing
the realisation of this Love. Because paradoxically, by seeking to help or to love the
‘other’, we magnify duality’s hold over us that proclaims that we are 'other', another,
as opposed to being 'One'. We thereby reinforce the very duality that prevents us
from being ourselves by perpetuating the dual illusion of difference: good/evil;
self/other. Whence this warning (also still so widely misunderstood?) against the
human spirit’s duality trap: “For the good that I would, I do not; but the evil which I
would not, that I do.”
123
“I do not do the good that I would, and commit the evil that I would not.”
(Saint Paul. Epistle to the Romans. Chapter 7)
However, there is light to be seen at the end of the tunnel:
“Once we transcend perceptions of dimensionality, of space-time, once the
distortions caused by fear are resolved, love is all that remains. Compassionate
love is our true nature, and it is all that rests once we become healed of
illusions.”
(Gregg Braden. L’Éveil au Point Zero. Ed. Ariane. 1998. p. 188)
I had been afraid of losing the base upon which I had spent years
reconstructing myself. I found myself invaded by visceral fear! But almost
immediately I decided to confront the situation head on and to face up to myself and
my fears, to others and to theirs. I finally came to understand that the opposite of
love is not hatred but fear. These primordial fears that had remounted the ages of
time to rediscover their very source wallowing, like Stears in his basement, in my
deepest depths. That to continue to nourish this fear was to continue to nourish and
remain the prey of the Forces of darkness! That each time fear comes to interfere
(enter fear,) with our life it replaces Love and occults it. And what's more, each time
we fall foul to fear we reinforce implicitly the Forces of darkness because they
nourish themselves on our fear!
Because if life is change and evolution, fear inhibits and stifles it. It freezes
all creativity and occults our divine nature in the process while awaiting the arrival of
our analytical mind to decrypt it. And even if our mind manages to help us to
understand certain things on occasions, more often than not it serves to nourish our
fears instead of finding appropriate and adequate solutions for them. The dynamic
that operates so insidiously between the individual and their fears is symbolic of the
historical appropriation of Humanity by the Forces of darkness. The relentless
dissemination of fear in all domains of life only serves to maintain Man in a state of
ignorance that leaves him dispossessed of his true nature.
Today, I no longer fear losing what I took to be certitudes. Life and death,
light and darkness, march hand in hand on Earth. Heraclites declared:
“In honouring the God of life, Dionysus, I honour at the same time the God of
death, Hades; they are “the same”; one is only conceived through the other.”
I told myself that if only I could take faith in the inherent wisdom and love
that resides in life, fear would be reduced to a simple warning, an occasional
reminder of my state of affairs and of the level of my complacency in face life. The
punctual manifestation of fear would serve to reactivate my vigilance. It would come
as an invitation to listen carefully to its message and understand its reason for being,
instead of adopting it and automatically becoming this fear itself.
My encounter with Ladanum was an encounter with my Dark or Malevolent
side; the ‘mal’ ('evil': he vile ?, that is veiled in a mirror-image of the life-process
124
itself: 'evil/live') and dissimulated within 'Malcol'” that eventually ‘comes’ to light,
issue of the fear and rage of my immediate, paternal entourage upon whom I was
seen to cast a shadow from the depths of my median name ('nom' fr.), my nominal
navel (I was 'conceived' at sea, and 'navel' is French for 'nombril') striking ominous
umbilical discord from within my own nomenclature! But there was absolutely no
('mal' fr.) evil intended:
“Areopagite specified that the essence itself of Good consists of creating and
conserving the existence of beings, whereas Evil aspires to corrupt and
annihilate the existence of beings, without ever succeeding. There is, therefore,
no absolute evil/'mal', because such evil would annihilate itself. Evil, taken as
such, can never be absolutely bad, but paradoxically participates to the Good;
because evil is accountable to Good, for the scarce bit of being that it possesses
within it...”
(Jean Scot Érigène. De la Division de la Nature: Periphyseon. Books I & II.
Ed. Puf.1995. pp. 242-243)
We can be grateful to the Forces of darkness that implicitly invite us to
discover a certain number of our weaknesses and that subsequently provide us with
occasions to rectify them. By bringing them to light and to consciousness we can
learn to see beyond the shadows and evil, learn to perceive beyond these transitory
clouds that momentarily occult the sunlight and which after all said and done are
only there in order to enable us to clarify things, to incite us to see the light. Without
a shadow of doubt!
As long as I continued to function in a dual manner, I also continued not only
to nourish my pains and accumulate resultant karma thereby ensuring myself an
endless life cycle on Earth. Because as soon as we think in terms of otherness we
immediately collude with those very forces that characterise and promote the dual
illusion. As soon as I realized that, by wishing to impose my own will I was
simultaneously enforcing its very opposite, it became possible to adopt an alternative
mode of functioning. The goodwill in this world maintains bad will, and vice versa.
All of these dualities are but illusions created by the duality of spirit. It is the snare
that is inherent to this ego of ours that considers itself separate from the ‘other’ and
does everything in its power to affirm its difference, thereby alimenting dualism for
its survival. The exact opposite of: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto
you...” (Jesus).
In fact, 'Absolute Truth' contains neither good nor evil – it simply is! And it is
to be found in the heart, not in the head! I now began to open up my heart to life
instead of privileging the primacy of mental activation. Oh dear, I wasn't going to be
that 'gentle little Jesus' who so much wanted to do good around him. But by trying to
cultivate a disinterested openness accompanied by an increasing awareness of my
innate divine nature, I hoped to nourish confidence in the ultimate goodwill of life.
Divine Love would thereby be able to express itself through me. All that I needed to
do was to try and live life in the same way that healing expresses itself through me.
In other words, to open myself up disinterestedly in order to enable the passage of
Love’s energy to expresses itself through me without having recourse to dual,
125
directive and corrupt mental intervention.
“For, corruption, once it can no longer corrupt, dies away by itself.”
(Jean Scot Érigène. Periphyseon. Books IV. Ed. Puf. 2000. 957AB)
Victor Ladanum, I forgive you for all the harm that I have done to myself.
I send to you Light and Love for all of Eternity.
Rest in peace, but “Get thee behind me...”
Eternally; (ether né ally)...
“AmO...”
126
16 Epilogue: Omega and Alpha
(27/07/2007-
“Bring not from the illusion of light, smoke, but bring from smoke
glorious Light”
(John Stears)
Nine months later to the day, following my karmic 'rays'- solution of the 26th
October 2006 and my discovery of the true identity of Victor La Pierre/Ladanum, I
found myself once again at Timurti, on the 27th
July 2007.
It was another day of 're-cognition'. Here I met a shaman who claimed to be
the veritable loved one of John Stears, and she 'recognized' me. So there we were,
reunited once more after 125 years! This appeared to be formal confirmation that
Sassy had never been the person whom she had claimed to be in Stear's life. Did this
now mean that I would be able to shed full light on the Truth?...
In the meantime, John Stears’ soul rests in peace as opposed to in pieces,
liberated from the grips of the Forces of darkness. And I continue to advance on my
quest of unconditional Love and the realisation of “AmO...”:
“...from illusion” towards “glorious Light.”
127
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Ambelain Robert, La Kabale pratique. Ed. Niclaus. 1951.
Beauchard Jean, Le Tarot des Alchimistes. Ed. Véga. 2006.
Bérault Marc, La Lune Noire. Ed. Rocher. 2000.
Berdiaev Nicholas, De l’esclavage et de la Liberté de l’homme. Paris. 1939.
Bigé Luc, Petit Dictionnaire en langue d’oiseaux. Ed. Janus. 2006.
Bovin Jacques, Mégalithes – Lieu d’Énergie. Ed. Mosaïques. 1995.
Braden Gregg, Le Code de Dieu. Ed. Ariane. 2004.
Braden Gegg, L’Éveil du Point Zéro. Ed. Ariane. 1998.
Cazanave Michael, Encyclopédie des Symboles. Ed. Pochotèque. 1989.
Coquelle Dominique, Les Tracées d’Or. Ed. TrajectoirE. 1997.
Christel Alain-Victor, La maîtrise des Nombres. Ed. Guy Trédaniel. 1994.
Davy Marie-Magdelaine, La connaissance de soi. Ed. Puf. 2008.
Deane Ashayana, Voyagers. Volume I. Wild Flower Press. 2001.
Deane Ashayana, Voyagers. Voume II. Wild Flower Press. 2000.
Delclos Marie & Caradeau Jean-Luc, Symbolisme du Corps. Ed. TrajectoirE. 2007.
Durville Henri, Au Seuil de l’Initiation. Ed. Chapitre. 2002.
Eliot T. S., Fout Quartets, « Burnt Norton ». Ed. Faber & Faber. 1962.
Érigène Jean Scot, De la Division de la Nature – Periphyseon I & II. Ed. Puf. 1995.
Érigène Jean Scot, De la Division de la Nature – Periphyseon IV. Ed. Puf. 2000.
Freitas Lima de, 515 Le Lieu du Miroir. Ed. Albin Michel. 1993.
Fulcanelli, Les Demeures Philosophales. Ed. Pauvert. 1964.
Hoffmann Banesh, L’Étrange Histoire des Quanta. Ed. Seuil. 1967.
Jodorowsky Alexandre & Costa Marianne, La Voie du Tarot. Ed. Albin Michel.
2004.
Manoury Pierre, Encyclopédie du chamanisme. Ed. TrajectoirE. 2006.
Nietzsche Friedrich, The Gay Science. Ed. Vintage Books. 1974.
Phaure Jean, Le Cycle de l’Humanité Adamique. Ed. Dervy. 1996.
Skinner Stephen, Géométrie Sacrée. Ed. Véga.2006.
Sédir Paul, Les Amitiés Spirituelles. Bibliothèque des Amitiés Spirituelles.
Silvestre-Haeberle Colette, ABC de la symbolique du Tarot. Ed. Grancher. 1992.
129
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1 Karmic sentence is passed/past 9
2 Astrological warnings 13
3 Astral logical dawning 21
4 Consecration 29
5 Leuhan Castle 35
6 Multi-dimensional synchronicities 47
7 True healing - AmO... 55
8 Any two which ways 65
9 Clarifications in the clearing 73
10 ‘Sartori’ ration point 81
11 Karmic resolutions 89
12 Energetic V’ampirism 97
13 Mind games 107
14 Cosmic chromosomes in holographic reality 115
15 Alpha and Omega 121
16 Epilogue 127
Bibliography 129
Table of Contents 131
131
You are welcome to contact John if you so wish on:
'AmO...' has been published in French by Amalthée Editions (Nantes 2010)
Details can be obtained by contacting : [email protected]
Editions Amalthée
2 Rue Crucy
44005-NANTES
FRANCE.
Telephone : (00 33) 204 075 8843 (Mr. Yoann Chefdor)
www.editions-amalthee.com/