Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) Day Two Contra Costa SELPA Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)...
-
Upload
celina-tippin -
Category
Documents
-
view
213 -
download
0
Transcript of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) Day Two Contra Costa SELPA Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)...
Contra Costa SELPA
Alternative Dispute Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)Resolution (ADR)
Preparation And Training
Day TwoDay Two
2
Reflections
3
Reflections
• What creates stress in the IEP process?
• What emotional reality does the parent deal with on a daily basis?
• How does the IEP process increase or decrease the emotions the parent brings to the meeting?
• What is the relationship between the stress and grieving states that are brought to the IEP process?
4
Working With States Of Behavior
5
Working With States Of Behavior
• Stress
• Relaxation
• Recognizing Grief
Don’t Don’t Surrender Surrender To Stress!To Stress!
6
STRESS
That Confusion Created That Confusion Created
When the Mind When the Mind
Overrides the Body’s Desire Overrides the Body’s Desire
to Choke the Living #@$% to Choke the Living #@$%
Out of Some *?#$%# Out of Some *?#$%#
Who Desperately Needs It!Who Desperately Needs It!
7
Once the immediate threat is gone, you let go.
You feel weak and tired as the stress hormones begin to recede, and you body eventually returns
to its normal state of equilibrium.
STRESS
STRESSOR (Threat)
Perceived by
BRAIN
Which activates
ADRENAL GLANDS
Which releases adrenaline-related hormones
Into
BLOODSTREAM
8
What a monster of a day I’ve had ! ! !
9
Nothing can ruin my day ! ! !
10
Relaxation
• Sit up in your chair• Feet relaxed and flat to the floor• Back straight against the chair• Shoulders pulled back• Head centered over your body• No parts of your body should be crossed• Close your eyes• Focus on your breathing
11
It Is Up To You …
PRESSURE VS PATIENCEPRESSURE VS PATIENCE
STRESS VS POISESTRESS VS POISE
INTIMIDATION VS CONFIDENCEINTIMIDATION VS CONFIDENCE
ToleranceTolerance
12
Recognizing Grief
How do parents feel when they get the news about their child’s disability/disabilities?
The reaction can by compared to the states of the grieving process.
13
Symptoms Associated with a Loss of Expectation
• Disbelief
• Over-sensitivity
• Fantasy about situation
• Frustration
• Blaming
• Anger
• Need for relief
• Nervousness
• Depression
• Guilt
• Hopelessness
• Restlessness
14
Positive Outcomes of States of Grief
• Denial: Provides a chance to put support system into place; a chance to rest emotionally
• Anxiety: Is a time to get things done
• Anger: When facilitated, can be an opportunity to examine the fear or other underlying feelings
• Fear: When expressed, lessens the feeling of isolation
• Guilt: Provides an opportunity to work through the experience
• Depression: Normal response; is a chance to slow down/regroup
• Isolation: Motivation to link with others & move towards healing
• Attachment: Identifying new dreams and direction in life!
• Empowerment: Healing sense of growth, feeling capable, competent, and confident in the ability to adapt
15
How Can We Help The Parents And Students?
• Know the facts regarding their child
• Let parents talk about the situation and their grief
• Provide information about the disability
• Help parents find support groups
• Help parents identify feelings and concerns
• Encourage confidence
• Identify counseling resources
• Explore possibilities
And remember to deal with your own issues!
16
Guidelines For Sharing Grief
1. Always be aware of the dynamics of grieving; it is easy to forget the process of grief when faced with intense emotion.
2. Review your own personal strengths and weaknesses around grieving past significant losses of your own.
3. Clarify and practice focusing on the differences between a feeling and an action. Many actions can be immoral, illegal, unethical, insensitive and inhumane; feelings are part of being human, crucial to dealing with loss and, therefore, should not be judged or criticized.
17
Guidelines For Sharing Grief
4. Try to avoid answering direct questions that are of a general or predictive nature, because parents are usually more interested in having their concerns heard than in getting answers.
5. Try to remember you are not totally responsible for correcting the child’s disability, nor for the trauma that the disability brings to the family. Limit your concerns to the areas that fall within your professional role.
18
Guidelines For Sharing Grief
6. Try to separate the factual statements from the feeling statements that are both received and sent by you. It helps to maintain consistency in the types of communication between parents and school people.
7. During all your interactions do not ignore or abandon your professional convictions, recommendations or program guidelines; the direct educational services offered to the child are always the first priority.
19
Working With Parents and Staff
20
Presenting Yourself
First Impressions Happen Only Once!
• Mind• Face• Body• Voice
21
Manage Day To Day Communication1. Enlighten
2. Explain
3. Converse
4. Talk
5. Speak Calmly
6. Be Positive
7. Be Friendly
8. Be Confident
22
Recognize The Internal & External Forces Which Color
Our Response To Conflict
• Responding is a product of our•Cultural View …•Personal View …•Perceptual View of who we are
defending
• The education process creates external forces (Nation, State, Community, Parent)
• Schools create internal forces (Students, Teachers, Administrators)
23
Handling Complaints
One: Listen to the complaint
Two: Repeat and acknowledge
Three: Apologize if appropriate or express regret
Four: Acknowledge the person’s feelings
Five: Explain what action you will take
Six: Thank the person for the communication
24
Emotional Outcomes Of Communication Failure
• Trust is lost as communication breaks down. Moves toward “polite” conversation that is edged with bitterness.
• Parties start looking for evidence that they are right …. Selective Attention.
• Because of above, the issue moves to Self-fulfilling Prophecy Mode. Then you get what you expect.
25
What Makes a Parent Angry??
• Failure to communicate
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling and Do-Nothingness
• Overreacting
• Stereotyping
• Breaking Promises
• Lingo Mania
• Unwillingness to Apologize and Admit Mistakes
26
Prevent The Angry Parent Syndrome
• Set an example of Parent/Educator collaboration• Model high expectations for all students,
educators, and parents• Insist that administrators and teachers keep up
to date on research, best practices, educational programming, and legal issues
• Become actively involved in resolving conflicts before they get out of hand
• Establish guidelines for content, process, and conduct at the outset. Keep the focus.
27
Build A Reservoir Of Trust And Good Faith
• Prepare well for meetings
• Help parent feel you are personally looking after their child
• Constantly remind parents of the reasons for confidentiality
• Treat parents fairly and be consistent.
28
Education Is A Team Sport
• There is just one side: The Student’s• Use and respect parents’ opinions• Treat parents as equal participants• Explain how the district’s position relates to
improved outcomes for the student• Understand the difference between a position
and an interest• Learn how to disagree respectfully• Respond promptly to parent calls• Keep promises and explain delays
29
Positive Strategies• Be truly welcoming• Think about seating arrangements• Set agenda and time limits at the outset• Listen and ask questions• Welcome constructive criticism and apologize when
appropriate• Redirect the conversation to keep it on track• Take your time• Focus on interests, not positions, problems, or personalities• When possible, give options to parents• Lower the volume of your voice
31
Managing Conflict Communications
1. Talk directly to the individual or direct others to the individual “Have you talked to…?”
2. Schedule a meeting with the individual
3. Acknowledge with the individual that there is a conflict
4. Use “I” statements to avoid accusations and make sure the other person uses “I” statements too. “I feel ….”
5. Repeat what you are being told – Confirm what you hear
6. State what each of you want as an outcome
7. Agree to work toward a resolution and follow-up on problem solving
33
Study The Problem …
• Use Good Listening Techniques(Do More Listening Than Talking)
• See The Total Situation
• Ask Questions To Know The Meaning Of Words
• Gather Information From Other Sources
• Sincerely Consider Proposals
34
Stay Focused – Remember “The Golden Rule”
• Remember your purpose
• De-personalize language directed at you
• You don’t need to defend
• Bring the elephant into the room
• Seek first to understand
• Demonstrate integrity and respect
• Remain child focused
35
Working With Staff And Parents
• Be Professional
• Use The Chain Of Command
• Make Personal Connections
• Use Power Appropriately
• Empower Others With Your Knowledge And Skill
• Recognize Roles And Responsibilities
37
What characteristics would
you like in an ideal parent?
38
Ideally The Parent Would …
• Be knowledgeable, seek expertise, and share information about their child’s disability
• Be open to the expertise of professionals
• Keep and share medical and educational history
• Dutifully attend meetings
• Review all reports and information prior to the meeting
• Prepare and contribute statements about expectations, goals, and concerns
• Suggest options for intervention
• Participate at home and at school in supporting the child and implementing interventions
39
Every parent wants to be an ideal parent for their child.
Every educator wants to be an ideal advocate for their students.
40
Working With Cultural Differences
• Cultural Diversity
• Equality
• Anger
41
Cultural Diversity
Looking at differences between groups of people, and valuing, celebrating
these differences
United States Of America
? Melting Pot or Mosaic ?
42
Differences That Could Become Barriers
• Language Differences• Mistrust of
“Outsiders”• Orientation to Time• Definition of “Family”• Dealing With the
Unknown• Previous Experience
and Relationship With Agencies, Groups, Government
• Outreach, Assistance in Eliminating Barriers to Help
• Role of Other Helpers: Religious, Personal, Family, Friends
• Value Systems Regarding “Asking for Help”
43
Characteristics Of Equality
• Mutual Respect
• Mutual Trust
• Mutual Concern and Caring
• Empathy
• A Desire to Listen to One Another
• Commitment to Cooperation and Equal Participation in Resolving Conflicts
• Sharing of Thoughts and Feelings Rather Than Hiding Them
• Mutual Commitment to Common Goals With Freedom to Pursue Independent Goals
• Support for and Acceptance of One Another As Imperfect People in the Process of Growing
44
Sources Of Communication Differences
• Words• Tone• Rapidity of Speech
and Directness of Exchange
• Silence• Laughter• Facial Expressions and
Eye Contact
• The Face
• Gestures
• Touch
• Dress
• Spatial Relationships
• Informal Rules
45
Roadblocks To Communication
• Judging
• Preaching
• Praising
• Reassuring
• Criticizing
• Blaming
• Ridiculing
• Diagnosing
• Humoring
• Interrogating
• Instructing
• Disagreeing
46
Anger
In the mainstream dominant culture, expression of anger is not an acceptable norm. We are not supposed to get angry.
Anger is one of the scariest emotions for men and women to express. Usually anger is expressed by:
• Holding Anger In• Flying Off the Handle• Displacing Anger
48
Techniques For Dealing With Anger
• Gather yourself
• Own the anger
• Diagnose the threat
• Clearly state your feelings
• Acknowledge the other’s feelings
• Acknowledge your own feelings
• Clarify and diagnose
• Negotiate the relationship
49
Diffusing Anger
1. Restate/reframe what the person says she/he is angry about
2. Ask what specifically about this situation makes the person angry
3. Agreeing with a person’s right to feel angry4. Acknowledging the anger in the tone of the
person’s statements even if she/he does not say she’s/he’s angry
5. Gestures and body use to diffuse and/or contain anger
6. Last resort statements
50
How To Handle Your Own Anger
• Recognize the Anger (Internally)
• Identify the Anger – Label It
• Don’t make it worse
• Take the time necessary
• Figure it out
• Set limits
Frame It
Claim It
Tame It
51
Small Groups Working With Cultural
Differences
How were you raised to deal with…?
• Conflict
• Stress
• Anger
• Other
52
Working Together
Collaboration Is …• A voluntary relationship• A joint responsibility• An attempt to reach consensus and
commitment• A learning experience• An ongoing relationship
53
Collaboration
Self-Assessment
54
Qualities Of A Collaborator
1. Is self-confident...about interpersonal skills...about competence in his or her own discipline.
2. Values self-awareness and growth as a continuous process.
3. Is open to other perspectives...other disciplines...other cultures...other personalities...other ways of achieving a goal.
4. Has a clear set of values and is assertive in expressing them.
5. Is self-directed or interdependent, as appropriate.
6. Has a systems perspective on the family, the community, and society...and sees self as part of these.
55
Qualities Of A Collaborator
7. Is able to tolerate ambiguous situations.
8. Is flexible.
9. Is able to negotiate in conflict situations.
10. Has good observation skills...concerning both self and others.
11. Has good helping and communication skills.
12. Understands group processes and dynamics.
56
Working Together
57
Standards Of Neutral Conduct For Staff
FivePersonal Performance Criteria
58
Standards
1. Believe in self determination by the parties
2. Be impartial
3. Identify and avoid any potential conflict of interest
4. Maintain confidentiality
5. Continuously improve your qualifications
59
1. Self-Determination By The Parties
• Fundamental principle of process
• Relies on the ability of the parties to reach a voluntary, uncoerced agreement
• Any party may withdraw from process at any time
• The role is to facilitate a voluntary resolution of a dispute
60
2. Impartiality
• Must remain impartial and evenhanded
• Must avoid appearance of partiality
• Must guard against bias
• Must depend on process not personal knowledge, expertise, and experience
• Must be committed to self-determination by the parties
61
3. Conflict of Interest
• A dealing or relationship that might create an impression of possible bias
• Disclose all actual and potential conflicts of interest reasonably known
• Includes conduct before, during, and after
• All parties must agree to continue after being informed
• Raises legitimate questions about the integrity of the process
62
4. Confidentiality
• Shall not disclose any matter that either party expects will remain confidential unless given permission by all parties or unless required by law or other public policy
• A “third” party to the written agreement for confidentiality
• Does not limit or prohibit the monitoring, research, or evaluation of process
63
5. Qualified
• Training
• Experience
• Competency
• Vested in Process
64
Quality Of Performance
• Fair
• Diligent
• Nurturing mutual respect
• Structuring procedural fairness
• Sharing of information
• Encouraging participation
• Committed to the activity
65
Must Withdraw When …
•Incapable of serving•Unable to remain impartial•Process being used to further illegal conduct•A party is unable to participate due to drug, alcohol, or other physical or mental incapacity•Their behavior is guided by an unreasonable desire for a settlement or other factors that you can not tolerate
Re-direct the Individual or Assign the Case to another who can remain impartial,
neutral, unbiased, etc.
66
Site Reflections
How
do we
re-direct
when
these
difficulties
arise?
67
Be Proactive!!!
1. Return phone calls
2. Respond to email
3. Provide information
4. Keep commitments
5. Implement agreements
6. Delegate staff and hold them accountable
7. Accept responsibility
68
Conflict
Conflict =
The Consequence Of Difference
69
Conflict: A Definition
Conflict is a state of
• Antagonism
• Heightened Competition
• Struggle
70
Caused By …
• Information
• Interest
• Structure
• Values
• Perceptions
• Perspectives
• Assumptions
Personal bias comes from your unique experiences and your set of perceptions,
perspectives, and assumptions
71
Style Of Conflict
• Avoidance• Accommodation• Compromise• Competition• Collaboration
72
Dyads: I Deal With Conflict By …
• When things are not going well between me and others, I tend to ….
• The most difficult thing for me about conflict is ….
• When someone challenges me or criticizes my work I might ….
• When conflict occurs in a group, I want to ….
• My personal style is….
73
Resolution Models
Compete(Win/Lose)
Avoid(Lose/Lose)
Collaborate(Win/Win)
Accommodate(Lose/Win)
Compromise
Attention on Your Needs
Att
enti
on o
n th
e O
ther
’s N
eeds
Low High
High
Adapted from The Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument by Thomas, K>W., and Kilmann, R.H. Tuxedo, N.Y.: Xicom, 1974.
74
Work On Solutions
• Release Personal Issues
• Use Process
• Provide Leadership
• Use Collaborative Problem Solving• Develop Commitment
75
Finding Win – Win Solutions
“Win-win is a belief in the Third Alternative. It’s not your way or my way: it’s a better way.”
- Stephen R. Covey
76
Site Reflections
How do
we
promote
positive
commu-
nication
at our
site?
77
Facilitation Skills
“How To Make Meetings Work”
78
Site Reflections
What
goes
wrong at
our
meetings?
Are our
roles
defined?
What one thing could we improve at our meetings.
79
What Goes Wrong At Meetings?
• Parliamentary Procedure
• Blind Leading The Blind
• Multi-Headed Animal Syndrome
• One Item At A Time
• Group Attack
• Saying What The Boss Wants To Hear
Every Meeting Needs A Traffic Cop!
Chapter 2 Page 19
80
The Functions Of A Meeting
• Participation
• Process Management
• Information Management
• Decision Making
81
Four Well Defined Roles
• Facilitator
• Recorder
• Group Member
• Manager/Chairperson/Director
82
Separating “What” From “How”
• The “What” Content Problem
• The “How” Process
• The “What” Content Solution
83
Shared Responsibility For Success
Facilitated IEP ProcessAn Interaction Method
Strategic Thinking
Collaborative Attitude
Facilitative Behaviors
Chapter 5 Page 83
84
Shared Responsibility For Success
85
Group Process: Enter The Facilitator
• Neutral Servant Of The Group
• Not Involved In Content
• Detached – Unbiased
• Recommends Process
• Monitors Process
• Monitors Behavior – Protects Group Members
• Monitors Agreements - Progress
Chapter 6 Page 88
86
Group Memory: Enter The Recorder
• Also A Neutral, Non-evaluative Servant Of the Group
• Writes Down Basic Ideas
• Not An Editor Or Paraphraser
• Preserves Words And Ideas Of Group
• Does Not Slow The Group
• Assures The Member Has Been Heard And Their Ideas Preserved
Chapter 7 Page 125
87
Group Member
• Active Participant
• Responsible To Keep The Facilitator And Recorder Neutral
• Determines The Course Of The Meeting
• Devotes Total Energies To The Task
• Agrees To Keep Ground Rules
Chapter 8 Page 143
88
Manager/Chairperson/Director
• Under Ground Rules Becomes A Group Member
• Establishes Parameters Before The Meeting
• Maintains All Other Powers And Responsibilities
• Encourages Group Members To Take Responsibility For Tasks And Deadlines
• Can Regain Control Of The Meeting If Progress Is Not Satisfactory
89
Desired Outcomes
• What They Are:What They Are: The expected result of a meeting; What we will walk out with (Products or Knowledge)
• What They Look Like:What They Look Like: brief, written statements, specific and measurable, written from the perspective of the participant, nouns not verbs
90
Desired Outcomes• Parents’
• District’s
• Write As One List Of Outcomes
Products
Lists
Plans
Decisions
Agreements
Knowledge
Awareness of …
So That … (we can do something)
Understanding of …
So That … (we can do something)
91
Collaborative Attitude
92
Elements Of ACollaborative Attitude
• Maintain positive or win/win attitude
• Focus on underlying interests
• Listen as an ally
• Remember there is no one right way
• Honor the possibility of consensus
93
More Questions
1. How can I help focus the thinking of the group?
2. How can I help enhance the physical and emotional energy of the group?
3. In a difficult situation, how can I help the group take greater responsibility for its success?
94
Strategic Thinking
95
Stages Of Discussion
• Commit To Group
• Agree To Task/Problem/Outcome
• Gather Information
• Organize The Information
• Select The Best Approach
• Reach Agreement On Solution
• Create An Action Plan
96
Finding Solutions In A Group
• Brainstorm
• Clarify
• List
• Make A Proposal
• Combine Duplicates
• Advantages/ Disadvantages
• Advocate
• Negative Pole
• Build Up/Eliminate
• Straw Poll
• Both/And
• Consensus
• Collaborative Win – Win
• Vote
97
Strategic Opportunities
A Point In A Discussion Or A Point In A Discussion Or Group Process When The Group Group Process When The Group Is Faced With A Choice About Is Faced With A Choice About
What To Do Next And How To Do ItWhat To Do Next And How To Do It
• When The Group Is Stuck• When People Are Talking About Different
Subjects Or Using A Different Process• When The Group Has Reached A
Key Agreement
98
The Questions
1. Where Are We?
2. Where Do We Want To Go?
3. How Do We Get There?
99
Action Planning
Action Plans transform Agreements Action Plans transform Agreements into next steps. They help ensure that into next steps. They help ensure that
decisions are implemented and decisions are implemented and provide a record of what will be done, provide a record of what will be done,
by whom, and by when.by whom, and by when. • Identify what is expected
• Assign responsibility to an individual
• Specify startup dates
• Includes progress check
100
Site Reflections
How do
we
assure
follow
through
after an
IEP
meeting?
101
Facilitative Behaviors
102
Facilitative Behaviors
Facilitative Behaviors are actions Facilitative Behaviors are actions anyone can take anyone can take
to make meetings run smoothlyto make meetings run smoothly
Desired OutcomesDesired OutcomesPreventions
Interventions
103
How To Be A Good Facilitator
• Get The Group To Focus On A Common Problem and Common Process
• Protect Group Members And Ensure Everyone Participates
• Remain Neutral And Build Trust
• Seek To Identify The Group’s Solutions
Remember There Is No One Remember There Is No One “Right” Way To Facilitate“Right” Way To Facilitate
104
Preventions
• Share Your Expectations
• Define Roles
• Agree To Ground Rules
• Clarify “Content” And “Process”
• Build An Agenda
• Agree To Process (For Decision-Making)
Chapter 16 Page 212
105
Preventions
• Suggest How The Group Could Proceed
• Ask For A Process Agreement
• Educate The Group About A Process
• Ask Open-Ended Questions To Generate Participation
• Request That People Reserve Judgment
106
Interventions
• Boomerang• Regain Focus• Ask Questions• Enforce Process Agreements/Ground Rules• Suggest A Break• Accept/Legitimize/Deal With Or Defer• Use Body Language• Use Humor
107
Agreement
• Ask For Proposals
• Check For Understanding
• Check For Agreement
Facilitated IEPs An IEP led by a specifically trained
facilitator Using a collaborative process where
members share responsibility for the process and results
Decision-making is managed through the use of facilitation process
108
Facilitated IEPs Training(24 Hours)
Self-AssessmentThe Interaction
MethodFacilitative
BehaviorsSetting Up For
SuccessListening As An
AllyFollow Through 109
Facilitation For IEP Meetings
Enables the team to:• Build and improve strong
relationships among team members• Reach true consensus• Focus the IEP content and process on
the needs of the student• Exercise and efficient, guided meeting
process where the effective communication and reflective listening are practiced
110
111
Difficult Behaviors
112
Difficult Behavior
At one point or another, everyone behaves At one point or another, everyone behaves in a manner that others find difficult or in a manner that others find difficult or
disruptive. These too are Strategic disruptive. These too are Strategic Opportunities. The facilitator must:Opportunities. The facilitator must:
1. Meet The Underlying Needs of The “Difficult” Group Member
2. Help the Group Stay On Track
3. Use appropriate interventions
113
A Leveling System
1. Do Nothing
2. Make Eye Contact
3. Stand Up
4. Walk Halfway
5. Walk By Them, Make Eye Contact
6. Ask – “What Do You Think?”
7. Touch And Talk Directly
8. Feedback – On A Break
9. Feedback – Before the Whole Group
10.Slap ‘em Silly
114
Form And Void
Facilitators create FORMFORM by providing a focus or structure within which
the group can work.
Facilitator create VOIDVOID by stepping back and allowing the group
to provide its own focus or structure.
115
Interventions
To Create FormTo Create Form• Suggest A Process• Ask A Specific
Question• Suggest A Thought
Framework• Model Supportive
Body Language (Move Toward Participants As They Speak)
To Create VoidTo Create Void• Don’t Speak When
There Is Silence• Ask A Very Open-
Ended Question• Move Away From The
Group Memory• Sit Down Away From
The Group
116
Facilitated IEP Demonstration
117
Reflection On The Demonstration
• What was comfortable/ uncomfortable for you?
• How were people’s emotions and feelings understood/resolved using the process?
• How was this process different than other processes?
118
Facilitation Tools
119
In Appendix: Facilitation Tools
• Desired Outcomes
• Agenda
• Ground Rules (with examples)
• Weighing The Options
• Action Plan
• Example Agreement
• Other Tools
120
Debrief With Group
• Plus
• Delta
Check Satisfaction
121
Facilitator Feedback And Support
• Meeting Evaluation
• Acknowledgement
• Debriefing
• Mentoring
• Additional Training
• Support Materials
• Sharing Of Experiences
Build Capacity In Your Community
FacilitationTry It!
You’ll Like It!
122
Remember …• Success does not depend on you• You are a neutral, servant of the group• You do what the group members want you to do• The group makes the decisions• It is their meeting• Your success will be measured by your ability
to fill the role of facilitator• Acknowledgement of others will lead to a
stronger sense of trust, accomplishment and relationship with you
Questions & Answers
123
124
Reflections
• What was of value today?
• What has been missed that must be addressed on our last day?