34 • Resident The Week Of February 17, 2009

OSCARS

Number 6: The StreakerTowards the end of the 1974 Academy Awards, a long-haired man with a mustache darted onstage while fl ashing a peace sign … and a whole lot more than that. The quick-witted David Niven, onstage presenting an award at the time, saved the day with a spontaneous one-lin-er: “Probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings.” Maybe not a full-blown di-saster, however it does give us an excuse to run the tasteful photo above.

5: Brando and the TribeThe most memorable example of an award winner using his accep-tance speech as a platform for a political rant. When Marlon Brando won in 1973 for his performance in The Godfather, a woman calling herself Sacheen Littlefeather walked onstage in traditional Apache dress to refuse the award on his behalf, due to the fi lm industry’s depiction of Native Americans. Later in the show, Clint Eastwood cracked that he was presenting an award, “on behalf of all the cow-boys shot in John Ford westerns over the years.”

4: Stupid Host TricksIn 1995, David Letterman seized the unoffi cial title of worst host in Os-car’s history with his fl ailing, desperately unfunny gimmicks in which he tried to merge his late-night show format into the presentation. The low point came when Letterman asked respected thespian and former Best Actor winner, Tom Hanks, to come out of the audience help him lay out a red carpet … for a dog to do “Stupid Pet Tricks.”

3: Red Carpet Cross-Dressers When “Blame Canada” of the 1999 musical South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut picked up a nomination for Best Song, Matt Stone and Trey Parker showed up wearing their fi nest: high heels and famous dresses of past awards shows. Sadly, nothing will bleach the memory from the minds of viewers of Parker strutting in the green J-Lo dress, with the plunging neckline reaching down to his hairy navel.

2: Bad News, the Rat Pack CanceledThis offender can only be described as an all-out assault on the eyes, ears, and general sensibilities of the 1987 Academy Awards audience. Dom DeLuise, Pat Morita, and Telly Savalas joined forc-es to sing “Fugue for Tinhorns,” after Frank and Dino declined to appear. That’s correct — Mr. Miyagi, Kojak, and Dom DeLuise were considered acceptable replacements for two members of the Rat Pack. Only in the ’80s, people.

And the number 1 moment: The Snow White-Statutory Musical Number Rob Lowe and an actress dressed as Snow White performed in a mind-blowingly inappropriate opening number in 1989 — a campy, over-the-top spectacle that would have worked better as an open-ing sketch on SNL. The timing was abysmal: Lowe’s image was in the gutter at the time, due to a leaked sex tape featuring him and a 16-year-old girl — so it was more than a little creepy watching him perform with the beloved young Disney princess. The show drew a letter of com-plaint to the Academy signed by Julie Andrews, Paul New-man and many others call-ing it “an embarrassment.” Oh, and Disney ended up suing the Academy for the improper usage of Snow White in an “unfl attering representation.”

The Worst of the WorstThe Six All-Time Greatest Oscar DebaclesOver the years, the Academy Awards presentation has had its share of embarrassing, disruptive or — depending on one’s point of view — hilarious moments. Herewith, the Resident’s six all-time moments from the Oscars. —Stephen K. Hirst