Alice in wonderland

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BY LEWIS CARROLL ILLUSTRATED BY JOHN TENNIEL NAVIGATE A LICE S Adventures in Wonderland CONTROL CLOSE THE BOOK TURN THE P AGE The world’s most precise replica of the world’s most famous children’s book! In 1998, Peter Zelchenko began a project for Volume- One Publishing: to create an exact digital replica of Lewis Carroll’s first edition of Alice. Working with the original 1865 edition and numerous other editions at the Newberry Library in Chicago, Zelchenko created a digital masterpiece in his own right, a testament to the original work of Lewis Carroll (aka Prof. Charles Dodgson) who personally directed the typography for the first Alice. After much analyis, Peter then painstakingly matched letter to letter, line to line, of his new digital edition to that of the original. After weeks of toil he created an exact replica of the original! The book was added to VolumeOne’s print-on- demand offering. While a PDF version is offered on various portals of the Net, BookVirtual took the project to heart and added its interface designs and programming. Welcome to the world’s most precise all-digital replica of the world’s most famous children’s book. Thank you, Peter. BookVirtual Books made Virtual. Books made well. www.bookvirtual.com

Transcript of Alice in wonderland

Page 1: Alice in wonderland

BY LEWIS CARROLL ILLUSTRATED BY JOHN TENNIEL

NAVIGATE

A L I C E’SAdventures in Wonderland

CONTROL

CLOSE THE BOOK

TURN THE PAGE

The world’smost precise

replicaof the world’s most famous

children’s book!

In 1998, Peter Zelchenkobegan a project for Volume-One Publishing: to create anexact digital replica of LewisCarroll’s first edition of Alice.Working with the original1865 edition and numerousother editions at the NewberryLibrary in Chicago, Zelchenkocreated a digital masterpiece inhis own right, a testament tothe original work of LewisCarroll (aka Prof. CharlesDodgson) who personallydirected the typography for thefirst Alice.

After much analyis, Peter thenpainstakingly matched letter toletter, line to line, of his new

digital edition to that of theoriginal. After weeks of toil hecreated an exact replica of theoriginal! The book was addedto VolumeOne’s print-on-demand offering. While a PDFversion is offered on variousportals of the Net, BookVirtualtook the project to heart andadded its interface designs andprogramming. Welcome to theworld’s most precise all-digitalreplica of the world’s mostfamous children’s book. Thankyou, Peter.

BookVirtual™

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RABBIT-HOLE. 1

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ALICE’S ADVENTURES

IN WONDERLAND

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ALICE’S ADVENTURES

IN WONDERLAND

BY

LEWIS CARROLL

WITH FORTY-TWO ILLUSTRATIONS

BY JOHN TENNIEL

VolumeOne PublishingChicago, Illinois 1998

A BookVirtual Digital Edition, v.1.2

November, 2000

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First published in 1865by Macmillan & Co., London

Released 1866 by D. Appleton & Co., New York

For informationabout VolumeOne and unit-run printing, contact:

Peter Zelchenko ([email protected])1757 W. Augusta Blvd.

Chicago, IL 60622-3209 USA(312) 733-2473

The text of this book was originally entered as an online etextfor Project Gutenberg,™ and was subsequently prepared

for print publishing by the VolumeOne staff. VolumeOne isgrateful to Project Gutenberg for its contribution to

this work. VolumeOne holds harmless and indemnifies ProjectGutenberg of any liability arising from the use of

their text in this printed embodiment.

Text from Project Gutenberg“Alice in Wonderland” (March, 1994 edition).

For more information on Project Gutenberg, contact:Project Gutenberg, Michael S. Hart ([email protected])

P.O. Box 2782, Champaign, IL 61820

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All in the golden afternoon

Full leisurely we glide ;

For both our oars, with little skill,

By little arms are plied,

While little hands make vain pretence

Our wanderings to guide.

Ah, cruel Three ! In such an hour,

Beneath such dreamy weather,

To beg a tale of breath too weak

To stir the tiniest feather !

Yet what can one poor voice avail

Against three tongues together ?

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Imperious Prima flashes forth

Her edict ‘ to begin it’—

In gentler tone Secunda hopes

‘ There will be nonsense in it!’—

While Tertia interrupts the tale

Not more than once a minute.

Anon, to sudden silence won,

In fancy they pursue

The dream-child moving through a land

Of wonders wild and new,

In friendly chat with bird or beast—

And half believe it true.

And ever, as the story drained

The wells of fancy dry,

And faintly strove that weary one

To put the subject by,

“ The rest next time—” “It is next time!”

The happy voices cry.

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Thus grew the tale of Wonderland :

Thus slowly, one by one,

Its quaint events were hammered out—

And now the tale is done,

And home we steer, a merry crew,

Beneath the setting sun.

Alice ! a childish story take,

And with a gentle hand

Lay it where Childhood’s dreams are twined

In Memory’s mystic band,

Like pilgrim’s withered wreath of flowers

Plucked in a far-off land.

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CONTENTS.

CHAPTER PAGE

I. DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

II. THE POOL OF TEARS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

III. A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE . . . . . . . . 29

IV. THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL . . . . . . 41

V. ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

VI. PIG AND PEPPER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

VII. A MAD TEA-PARTY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

VIII. THE QUEEN’S CROQUET-GROUND . . . . . . . . . . 112

IX. THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130

X. THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147

XI. WHO STOLE THE TARTS? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162

XII. ALICE’S EVIDENCE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176

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CHAPTER I.

DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE.

ALICE was beginning to get very tired ofsitting by her sister on the bank, and of havingnothing to do : once or twice she had peeped intothe book her sister was reading, but it had nopictures or conversations in it, “ and what is

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the use of a book,” thought Alice, “ withoutpictures or conversations ?”

So she was considering in her own mind,(as well as she could, for the hot day madeher feel very sleepy and stupid,) whether thepleasure of making a daisy-chain would beworth the trouble of getting up and pickingthe daisies, when suddenly a white rabbit withpink eyes ran close by her.

There was nothing so very remarkable inthat ; nor did Alice think it so very much outof the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself,

“ Oh dear ! Oh dear ! I shall be too late !”(when she thought it over afterwards, it oc-curred to her that she ought to have wonderedat this, but at the time it all seemed quitenatural) ; but when the Rabbit actually took awatch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked atit, and then hurried on, Alice started to herfeet, for it flashed across her mind that she hadnever before seen a rabbit with either a waist-coat-pocket or a watch to take out of it, and,

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burning with curiosity, she ran across the fieldafter it, and was just in time to see it popdown a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice afterit, never once considering how in the worldshe was to get out again.

The rabbit-hole went straight on like atunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenlydown, so suddenly that Alice had not a momentto think about stopping herself before she foundherself falling down what seemed to be a verydeep well.

Either the well was very deep, or she fellvery slowly, for she had plenty of time as shewent down to look about her, and to wonderwhat was going to happen next. First, she triedto look down and make out what she wascoming to, but it was too dark to see anything :then she looked at the sides of the well, andnoticed that they were filled with cupboardsand bookshelves : here and there she saw mapsand pictures hung upon pegs. She took down

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a jar from one of the shelves as she passed ; itwas labelled “ ORANGE MARMALADE,” butto her great disappointment it was empty: she didnot like to drop the jar for fear of killing some-body underneath, so managed to put it intoone of the cupboards as she fell past it.

“ Well !” thought Alice to herself, “ aftersuch a fall as this, I shall think nothing oftumbling down stairs ! How brave they ’ll allthink me at home ! Why, I wouldn’t say any-thing about it, even if I fell off the top ofthe house !” (Which was very likely true.)

Down, down, down. Would the fall nevercome to an end ? “ I wonder how many milesI ’ve fallen by this time ?” she said aloud. “Imust be getting somewhere near the centre ofthe earth. Let me see : that would be fourthousand miles down, I think—” (for, you see,Alice had learnt several things of this sort inher lessons in the schoolroom, and though thiswas not a very good opportunity for showing offher knowledge, as there was no one to listen to

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her, still it was good practice to say it over)

“ —yes, that ’s about the right distance—butthen I wonder what Latitude or LongitudeI ’ve got to ?” (Alice had not the slightestidea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, butshe thought they were nice grand words to say.)

Presently she began again. “ I wonder ifI shall fall right through the earth ! How funnyit ’ll seem to come out among the people thatwalk with their heads downwards ! The Anti-pathies, I think—” (she was rather glad therewas no one listening, this time, as it didn ’tsound at all the right word) “ —but I shallhave to ask them what the name of the countryis, you know. Please, Ma’am, is this NewZealand or Australia?” (and she tried to curtseyas she spoke—fancy curtseying as you ’re fallingthrough the air ! Do you think you couldmanage it ?) “And what an ignorant little girlshe ’ll think me for asking ! No, it ’ll never doto ask : perhaps I shall see it written upsomewhere.”

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Down, down, down. There was nothing else todo, so Alice soon began talking again. “Dinah ’llmiss me very much to-night, I should think !”(Dinah was the cat.) “ I hope they’ll rememberher saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah, my dear !I wish you were down here with me ! Thereare no mice in the air, I’m afraid, but youmight catch a bat, and that ’s very like a mouse,you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?”And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, andwent on saying to herself, in a dreamy sortof way, “Do cats eat bats ? Do cats eat bats ?”and sometimes, “ Do bats eat cats?” for, yousee, as she couldn’t answer either question, itdidn’t much matter which way she put it. Shefelt that she was dozing off, and had just begunto dream that she was walking hand in handwith Dinah, and was saying to her veryearnestly, “Now, Dinah, tell me the truth : didyou ever eat a bat ?” when suddenly, thump !thump! down she came upon a heap of sticksand dry leaves, and the fall was over.

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Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped upon to her feet in a moment : she looked up,but it was all dark overhead ; before her wasanother long passage, and the White Rabbit wasstill in sight, hurrying down it. There wasnot a moment to be lost : away went Alice likethe wind, and was just in time to hear it say, asit turned a corner, “ Oh my ears and whiskers,how late it ’s getting !” She was close behindit when she turned the corner, but the Rabbitwas no longer to be seen : she found herself ina long, low hall, which was lit up by a row oflamps hanging from the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but theywere all locked, and when Alice had been allthe way down one side and up the other, tryingevery door, she walked sadly down the middle,wondering how she was ever to get out again.

Suddenly she came upon a little three-leggedtable, all made of solid glass ; there was nothingon it but a tiny golden key, and Alice’s firstidea was that this might belong to one of the

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doors of the hall ; but alas ! either the lockswere too large, or the key was too small, butat any rate it would not open any of them.However, on the second time round, she came

upon a lowcurtain she hadnot noticed be-fore, and be-hind it wasa little doorabout fifteeninches high :she tried thelittle goldenkey in the

lock, and to her great delight it fitted !Alice opened the door and found that it led

into a small passage, not much larger than arat-hole : she knelt down and looked along thepassage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.How she longed to get out of that dark hall,and wander about among those beds of bright

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flowers and those cool fountains, but she couldnot even get her head though the doorway ;

“ and even if my head would go through,”thought poor Alice, “ it would be of very littleuse without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish Icould shut up like a telescope ! I think I could,if I only knew how to begin.” For, you see, somany out-of-the-way things had happened latelythat Alice had begun to think that very fewthings indeed were really impossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting bythe little door, so she went back to the table,half hoping she might find another key on it,or at any rate a book of rules for shuttingpeople up like telescopes : this time she founda little bottle on it, (“ which certainly was nothere before,” said Alice,) and tied round theneck of the bottle was a paper label with thewords “ DRINK ME” beautifully printed onit in large letters.

It was all very well to say “Drink me,” butthe wise little Alice was not going to do that

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in a hurry: “ no, I ’ll look first,” she said,

“ and see whetherit ’s marked ‘ poison’or not :” for she hadread several nicelittle stories aboutchildren who hadgot burnt, and eatenup by wild beasts,and other unpleasantthings, all becausethey would not re-member the simplerules their friendshad taught them, such as, that a red-hot pokerwill burn you if you hold it too long ; andthat if you cut your finger very deeply witha knife, it usually bleeds ; and she had neverforgotten that, if you drink much from a bottlemarked “ poison,” it is almost certain to dis-agree with you, sooner or later.

However, this bottle was not marked “poison,”

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so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding itvery nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixedflavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roastturkey, toffy, and hot buttered toast,) she verysoon finished it off.

* * * ** * *

* * * *

“ What a curious feeling !” said Alice, “ Imust be shutting up like a telescope.”

And so it was indeed : she was now onlyten inches high, and her face brightened upat the thought that she was now the rightsize for going through the little door into thatlovely garden. First, however, she waited for afew minutes to see if she was going to shrinkany further : she felt a little nervous aboutthis, “ for it might end, you know,” said Aliceto herself, “ in my going out altogether, like acandle. I wonder what I should be like then?”And she tried to fancy what the flame of acandle looks like after the candle is blown out,

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for she could not remember ever having seensuch a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing morehappened, she decided on going into the gardenat once, but, alas for poor Alice ! when she gotto the door, she found she had forgotten thelittle golden key, and when she went back tothe table for it, she found she could not possiblyreach it : she could see it quite plainly throughthe glass, and she tried her best to climb upone of the legs of the table, but it was tooslippery, and when she had tired herself outwith trying, the poor little thing sat downand cried.

“Come, there ’s no use in crying like that !”said Alice to herself, rather sharply, “ I adviseyou to leave off this minute !” She generallygave herself very good advice, (though shevery seldom followed it,) and sometimes shescolded herself so severely as to bring tearsinto her eyes, and once she remembered tryingto box her own ears for having cheated herself

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in a game of croquet she was playing againstherself, for this curious child was very fond ofpretending to be two people. “But it ’s no usenow,” thought poor Alice, “ to pretend to be twopeople ! Why, there ’s hardly enough of me leftto make one respectable person !”

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box thatwas lying under the table : she opened it, andfound in it a very small cake, on which thewords “ EAT ME” were beautifully marked incurrants. “ Well, I ’ll eat it,” said Alice, “ and ifit makes me grow larger, I can reach the key ;and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creepunder the door ; so either way I ’ll get into thegarden, and I don’t care which happens !”

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously toherself “ Which way? Which way?” holding herhand on the top of her head to feel which wayit was growing, and she was quite surprisedto find that she remained the same size : to besure, this is what generally happens when oneeats cake, but Alice had got so much into the

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way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-waythings to happen, that it seemed quite dull andstupid for life to go on in the common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finishedoff the cake.

* * * ** * *

* * * *

DOWN THE RABBIT-HOLE.

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CHAPTER II.

THE POOL OF TEARS.

“Curiouser and cu-riouser !” cried Alice(she was so much sur-prised, that for themoment she quite for-got how to speak goodEnglish) ; “ now I ’mopening out like thelargest telescope thatever was ! Good-bye,feet !” (for when shelooked down at herfeet, they seemed tobe almost out of sight,they were getting sofar off) “Oh, my poorlittle feet, I wonder

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who will put on your shoes and stockings foryou now, dears? I’m sure I shan ’t be able ! Ishall be a great deal too far off to trouble my-self about you : you must manage the best wayyou can ;—but I must be kind to them,” thoughtAlice, “or perhaps they won ’t walk the way Iwant to go ! Let me see : I ’ll give them a newpair of boots every Christmas.”

And she went on planning to herself how shewould manage it. “ They must go by the carrier,”she thought ; “ and how funny it ’ll seem, sendingpresents to one’s own feet ! And how odd thedirections will look !

Alice’s Right Foot, Esq.,Hearthrug,

near the Fender.(with Alice’s love.)

Oh dear, what nonsense I ’m talking !”Just at this moment her head struck against the

roof of the hall : in fact she was now rather morethan nine feet high, and she at once took up thelittle golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

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Poor Alice ! It was as much as she could do,lying down on one side, to look through intothe garden with one eye ; but to get throughwas more hopeless than ever : she sat down andbegan to cry again.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” saidAlice, “ a great girl like you,” (she might wellsay this,) “ to go on crying in this way ! Stopthis moment, I tell you !” But she went on allthe same, shedding gallons of tears, until therewas a large pool all round her, about four inchesdeep and reaching half down the hall.

After a time she heard a little pattering offeet in the distance, and she hastily dried hereyes to see what was coming. It was the WhiteRabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pairof white kid gloves in one hand and a largefan in the other : he came trotting along in agreat hurry, muttering to himself as he came,

“Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess ! Oh ! won’t shebe savage if I ’ve kept her waiting !” Alicefelt so desperate that she was ready to ask help

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of any one ; so, when the Rabbit came near her,she began, in a low, timid voice, “ If you please,sir——” The Rabbit started violently, droppedthe white kid gloves and the fan, and skurriedaway into the darkness as hard as he could go.

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Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as thehall was very hot, she kept fanning herself allthe time she went on talking : “ Dear, dear !How queer everything is to-day ! And yester-day things went on just as usual. I wonder ifI ’ve been changed in the night? Let me think :was I the same when I got up this morning?I almost think I can remember feeling a littledifferent. But if I ’m not the same, the nextquestion is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that’sthe great puzzle !” And she began thinking overall the children she knew, that were of thesame age as herself, to see if she could havebeen changed for any of them.

“I ’m sure I ’m not Ada,” she said, “ for herhair goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn’tgo in ringlets at all ; and I ’m sure I can ’t beMabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,oh ! she knows such a very little ! Besides, she’sshe, and I’m I, and—oh dear, how puzzling itall is ! I ’ll try if I know all the things I usedto know. Let me see : four times five is twelve,

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and four times six is thirteen, and four timesseven is—oh dear ! I shall never get to twentyat that rate ! However, the Multiplication Tabledon’t signify : let ’s try Geography. London isthe capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital ofRome, and Rome—no, that’s all wrong, I ’mcertain ! I must have been changed for Mabel !I ’ll try and say ‘ How doth the little—’ ” and shecrossed her hands on her lap, as if she weresaying lessons, and began to repeat it, but hervoice sounded hoarse and strange, and the wordsdid not come the same as they used to do :—

“ How doth the little crocodile

Improve his shining tail,

And pour the waters of the Nile

On every golden scale !

How cheerfully he seems to grin,

How neatly spreads his claws,

And welcome little fishes in

With gently smiling jaws !”

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“ I ’m sure those are not the right words,”said poor Alice, and her eyes filled with tearsagain as she went on, “I must be Mabel afterall, and I shall have to go and live in thatpoky little house, and have next to no toys toplay with, and oh ! ever so many lessons tolearn ! No, I ’ve made up my mind about it :if I ’m Mabel, I ’ll stay down here ! It ’ll be nouse their putting their heads down and saying,

‘ Come up again, dear !’ I shall only look upand say, ‘ Who am I then ? Tell me that first,and then, if I like being that person, I ’ll comeup : if not, I ’ll stay down here till I ’m some-body else’—but, oh dear !” cried Alice with asudden burst of tears, “ I do wish they wouldput their heads down ! I am so very tired ofbeing all alone here !”

As she said this, she looked down at herhands, and was surprised to see that she hadput on one of the Rabbit’s little white kid gloveswhile she was talking. “ How can I have donethat?” she thought. “ I must be growing small

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again.” She got up and went to the table tomeasure herself by it, and found that, as nearlyas she could guess, she was now about two feethigh, and was going on shrinking rapidly : shesoon found out that the cause of this was thefan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily,just in time to save herself from shrinking awayaltogether.

“ That was a narrow escape !” said Alice, agood deal frightened at the sudden change, butvery glad to find herself still in existence ; “ andnow for the garden !” and she ran with allspeed back to the little door : but, alas ! thelittle door was shut again, and the little goldenkey was lying on the glass table as before, “ andthings are worse than ever,” thought the poorchild, “ for I never was so small as this before,never ! And I declare it ’s too bad, that it is !”

As she said these words her foot slipped,and in another moment, splash ! she was up toher chin in salt water. Her first idea was thatshe had somehow fallen into the sea, “ and in

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that case I can go back by railway,” she saidto herself. (Alice had been to the seaside oncein her life, and had come to the general con-clusion, that wherever you go to on the Englishcoast you find a number of bathing machinesin the sea, some children digging in the sandwith wooden spades, then a row of lodginghouses, and behind them a railway station.)However, she soon made out that she was inthe pool of tears which she had wept when shewas nine feet high.

“I wish I hadn’t cried so much !” said Alice,as she swam about, trying to find her way out.

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“I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, bybeing drowned in my own tears ! That will bea queer thing, to be sure ! However, everythingis queer to-day.”

Just then she heard something splashingabout in the pool a little way off, and she swamnearer to make out what it was : at first shethought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus,but then she remembered how small she wasnow, and she soon made out that it was onlya mouse, that had slipped in like herself.

“ Would it be of any use, now,” thoughtAlice, “ to speak to this mouse ? Everything isso out-of-the-way down here, that I should thinkvery likely it can talk : at any rate there ’sno harm in trying.” So she began : “O Mouse,do you know the way out of this pool ? I amvery tired of swimming about here, O Mouse !”(Alice thought this must be the right way ofspeaking to a mouse : she had never done sucha thing before, but she remembered having seenin her brother’s Latin Grammar, “ A mouse—

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of a mouse—to a mouse—a mouse—O mouse !”)The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively,and seemed to her to wink with one of itslittle eyes, but it said nothing.

“ Perhaps it doesn’t understand English,”thought Alice ; “I daresay it ’s a French mouse,come over with William the Conqueror.” (For,with all her knowledge of history, Alice had novery clear notion how long ago anything hadhappened.) So she began again : “ Ou est machatte ?” which was the first sentence in herFrench lesson-book. The Mouse gave a suddenleap out of the water, and seemed to quiverall over with fright. “Oh, I beg your pardon !”cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt thepoor animal’s feelings. “ I quite forgot you didn’tlike cats.”

“Not like cats !” cried the Mouse, in a shrill,passionate voice. “ Would you like cats if youwere me?”

“Well, perhaps not,” said Alice in a sooth-ing tone : “ don’t be angry about it. And yet

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I wish I could show you our cat Dinah : Ithink you ’d take a fancy to cats if you couldonly see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,”Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily

about in the pool, “ and she sits purring sonicely by the fire, licking her paws and wash-ing her face—and she is such a nice soft thingto nurse—and she ’s such a capital one for catch-ing mice——oh, I beg your pardon !” cried Aliceagain, for this time the Mouse was bristlingall over, and she felt certain it must be really

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OF TEARS. 27

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offended. “We won’t talk about her any moreif you ’d rather not.”

“ We, indeed !” cried the Mouse, who wastrembling down to the end of his tail. “ As if Iwould talk on such a subject ! Our family alwayshated cats : nasty, low, vulgar things ! Don’tlet me hear the name again !”

“ I won’t indeed !” said Alice, in a greathurry to change the subject of conversation.

“ Are you—are you fond—of—of dogs ?” Themouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly:

“There is such a nice little dog near our houseI should like to show you ! A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh ! such longcurly brown hair ! And it ’ll fetch things whenyou throw them, and it ’ll sit up and beg forits dinner, and all sorts of things—I can’t re-member half of them—and it belongs to afarmer, you know, and he says it ’s so useful,it ’s worth a hundred pounds ! He says it killsall the rats and—oh dear !” cried Alice in asorrowful tone. “ I ’m afraid I ’ve offended it

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again !” For the Mouse was swimming awayfrom her as hard as it could go, and makingquite a commotion in the pool as it went.

So she called softly after it : “ Mouse dear !Do come back again, and we won’t talk aboutcats or dogs either, if you don’t like them !”When the Mouse heard this, it turned roundand swam slowly back to her : its face wasquite pale (with passion, Alice thought), andit said in a low, trembling voice, “ Let us getto the shore, and then I ’ll tell you my history,and you ’ll understand why it is I hate catsand dogs.”

It was high time to go, for the pool wasgetting quite crowded with the birds and ani-mals that had fallen into it : there was a Duckand a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and severalother curious creatures. Alice led the way,and the whole party swam to the shore.

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CHAPTER III.

A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE.

THEY were indeed a queer-looking party thatassembled on the bank—the birds with draggledfeathers, the animals with their fur clinging closeto them, and all dripping wet, cross, and un-comfortable.

The first question of course was, how to getdry again : they had a consultation about this,

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and after a few minutes it seemed quite naturalto Alice to find herself talking familiarly withthem, as if she had known them all her life.Indeed, she had quite a long argument withthe Lory, who at last turned sulky, and wouldonly say, “ I am older than you, and must knowbetter ;” and this Alice would not allow, with-out knowing how old it was, and, as the Lorypositively refused to tell its age, there was nomore to be said.

At last the Mouse, who seemed to be aperson of some authority among them, calledout, “ Sit down, all of you, and listen to me !I’ll soon make you dry enough !” They all satdown at once, in a large ring, with the Mousein the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiouslyfixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch abad cold if she did not get dry very soon.

“Ahem!” said the Mouse with an importantair, “are you all ready ? This is the driest thingI know. Silence all round, if you please !

‘ William the Conqueror, whose cause was

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AND A LONG TALE. 31

favoured by the pope, was soon submitted toby the English, who wanted leaders, and hadbeen of late much accustomed to usurpation andconquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls ofMercia and Northumbria—’ ”

“Ugh !” said the Lory, with a shiver.

“ I beg your pardon ?” said the Mouse,frowning, but very politely : “Did you speak ?”

“Not I !” said the Lory, hastily.

“ I thought you did,” said the Mouse.—“ Iproceed. ‘ Edwin and Morcar, the earls ofMercia and Northumbria, declared for him ;and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop ofCanterbury, found it advisable—”

“Found what ?” said the Duck.

“Found it,” the Mouse replied rather crossly :

“of course you know what ‘ it’ means.”

“I know what ‘ it’ means well enough, whenI find a thing,” said the Duck : “ it ’s generallya frog or a worm. The question is, what didthe archbishop find?”

The Mouse did not notice this question, but

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hurriedly went on, “ ‘ —found it advisable to gowith Edgar Atheling to meet William and offerhim the crown. William’s conduct at first wasmoderate. But the insolence of his Normans—’How are you getting on now, my dear?” it con-tinued, turning to Alice as it spoke.

“As wet as ever,” said Alice in a melancholytone : “ it doesn ’t seem to dry me at all.”

“ In that case,” said the Dodo solemnly,rising to its feet, “ I move that the meetingadjourn, for the immediate adoption of moreenergetic remedies—”

“Speak English !” said the Eaglet. “I don ’tknow the meaning of half those long words,and, what’s more, I don’t believe you do either!”And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide asmile : some of the other birds tittered audibly.

“What I was going to say,” said the Dodoin an offended tone, “ was, that the best thingto get us dry would be a Caucus-race.”

“ What is a Caucus-race ?” said Alice ; notthat she much wanted to know, but the Dodo

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AND A LONG TALE. 33

had paused as if it thought that somebody oughtto speak, and no one else seemed inclined tosay anything.

“ Why,” said the Dodo, “ the best way toexplain it is to do it.” (And as you might liketo try the thing yourself, some winter day, Iwill tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

First it marked out a race-course, in a sortof circle, (“ the exact shape doesn ’t matter,” itsaid,) and then all the party were placed alongthe course, here and there. There was no “ One,two, three, and away,” but they began runningwhen they liked, and left off when they liked, sothat it was not easy to know when the race wasover. However, when they had been running half-an-hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodosuddenly called out, “The race is over !” and theyall crowded round it, panting, and asking, “ Butwho has won ?”

This question the Dodo could not answerwithout a great deal of thought, and it sat fora long time with one finger pressed upon its

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forehead, (the position in which you usuallysee Shakespeare, in the pictures of him,) whilethe rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said,

“Everybody has won, and all must have prizes.”

“ But who is to give the prizes ?” quite achorus of voices asked.

“Why, she, of course,” said the Dodo, point-ing to Alice with one finger ; and the wholeparty at once crowded round her, calling out ina confused way, “Prizes ! Prizes !”

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despairshe put her hand in her pocket, and pulledout a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water hadnot got into it,) and handed them round as prizes.There was exactly one a-piece, all round.

“ But she must have a prize herself, youknow,” said the Mouse.

“Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely.

“What else have you got in your pocket?” hewent on, turning to Alice.

“Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly.

“Hand it over here,” said the Dodo.

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AND A LONG TALE. 35

Then they all crowded round her once more,while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble,saying, “ We beg your acceptance of this elegantthimble ;” and, when it had finished this shortspeech, they all cheered.

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Alice thought the whole thing very absurd,but they all looked so grave that she did notdare to laugh, and as she could not think ofanything to say, she simply bowed, and took thethimble, looking as solemn as she could.

The next thing was to eat the comfits : thiscaused some noise and confusion, as the largebirds complained that they could not taste theirs,and the small ones choked and had to be pattedon the back. However it was over at last, andthey sat down again in a ring, and begged theMouse to tell them something more.

“You promised to tell me your history, youknow,” said Alice, “ and why it is you hate—Cand D,” she added in a whisper, half afraid thatit would be offended again.

“ Mine is a long and a sad tale !” said theMouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.

“ It is a long tail, certainly,” said Alice,looking down with wonder at the Mouse’s tail ;

“but why do you call it sad ?” And she kept onpuzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking,

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AND A LONG TALE. 37

so that her idea of the tale was something likethis :——“Fury said to

a mouse, Thathe met

in thehouse,

‘ Let usboth go

to law :I will

prosecuteyou.—Come, I ’ll

take nodenial ;

We musthave a

trial :For

reallythis

morningI ’ve

nothingto do.’

Said themouse to

the cur,‘ Such a

trial,dear sir,

With nojury or

judge,would be

wastingour breath.’

‘ I ’ll bejudge,

I ’ll bejury,’

Saidcunning

old Fury ;‘ I ’ll try

the wholecause,

andcondemn

youto

death.’”

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“ You are not attending !” said the Mouseto Alice, severely. “ What are you thinking of ?”

“I beg your pardon,” said Alice very humbly:

“you had got to the fifth bend, I think ?”

“ I had not !” cried the Mouse, sharply andvery angrily.

“A knot !” said Alice, always ready to makeherself useful, and looking anxiously about her.

“Oh, do let me help to undo it !”

“ I shall do nothing of the sort,” said theMouse, getting up and walking away. “ Youinsult me by talking such nonsense !”

“ I didn ’t mean it !” pleaded poor Alice.

“But you ’re so easily offended, you know !”The Mouse only growled in reply.

“Please come back, and finish your story !”Alice called after it ; and the others all joinedin chorus, “ Yes, please do !” but the Mouseonly shook its head impatiently, and walked alittle quicker.

“ What a pity it wouldn ’t stay !” sighedthe Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight ;

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AND A LONG TALE. 39

and an old crab took the opportunity of sayingto her daughter, “ Ah, my dear ! Let this bea lesson to you never to lose your temper !”

“Hold your tongue, Ma !” said the young crab,a little snappishly. “ You ’re enough to trythe patience of an oyster !”

“ I wish I had our Dinah here, I know Ido !” said Alice aloud, addressing nobody inparticular. “She ’d soon fetch it back !”

“And who is Dinah, if I might venture toask the question ?” said the Lory.

Alice replied eagerly, for she was alwaysready to talk about her pet. “ Dinah ’s ourcat. And she ’s such a capital one for catchingmice you can ’t think ! And oh, I wish youcould see her after the birds ! Why, she ’ll eata little bird as soon as look at it !”

This speech caused a remarkable sensationamong the party. Some of the birds hurriedoff at once : one old magpie began wrappingitself up very carefully, remarking, “ I reallymust be getting home ; the night-air doesn ’t

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suit my throat !” and a canary called out in atrembling voice to its children, “Come away, mydears ! It’s high time you were all in bed !” Onvarious pretexts they all moved off, and Alicewas soon left alone.

“ I wish I hadn ’t mentioned Dinah !” shesaid to herself in a melancholy tone. “Nobodyseems to like her, down here, and I ’m sure she ’sthe best cat in the world ! Oh, my dear Dinah !I wonder if I shall ever see you any more !”And here poor Alice began to cry again, for shefelt very lonely and low-spirited. In a littlewhile, however, she again heard a little patter-ing of footsteps in the distance, and she lookedup eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse hadchanged his mind, and was coming back tofinish his story.

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CHAPTER IV.

THE RABBIT SENDS IN A LITTLE BILL.

IT was the White Rabbit, trotting slowlyback again, and looking anxiously about as itwent, as if it had lost something ; and she heardit muttering to itself, “ The Duchess ! TheDuchess ! Oh my dear paws ! Oh my fur andwhiskers ! She ’ll get me executed, as sure asferrets are ferrets ! Where can I have droppedthem, I wonder !” Alice guessed in a momentthat it was looking for the fan and the pairof white kid gloves, and she very goodnaturedlybegan hunting about for them, but they werenowhere to be seen—everything seemed to have

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changed since her swim in the pool, and thegreat hall, with the glass table and the littledoor, had vanished completely.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as shewent hunting about, and called out to her inan angry tone, “Why, Mary Ann, what are youdoing out here? Run home this moment, andfetch me a pair of gloves and a fan ! Quick,now!” And Alice was so much frightened thatshe ran off at once in the direction it pointedto, without trying to explain the mistake thatit had made.

“He took me for his housemaid,” she said toherself as she ran. “ How surprised he ’ll bewhen he finds out who I am ! But I ’d bettertake him his fan and gloves—that is, if I canfind them.” As she said this, she came upon aneat little house, on the door of which was abright brass plate with the name “W. RABBIT,”engraved upon it. She went in without knock-ing, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lestshe should meet the real Mary Ann, and be

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 43

turned out of the house before she had found thefan and gloves.

“How queer it seems,” Alice said to herself,

“ to be going messages for a rabbit ! I supposeDinah ’ll be sending me on messages next !”And she began fancying the sort of thing thatwould happen : “ ‘Miss Alice ! Come here di-rectly, and get ready for your walk !’ ‘Comingin a minute, nurse ! But I ’ve got to watchthis mousehole till Dinah comes back, and seethat the mouse doesn ’t get out.’ Only I don ’tthink,” Alice went on, “ that they ’d let Dinahstop in the house if it began ordering peopleabout like that !”

By this time she had found her way intoa tidy little room with a table in the window,and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two orthree pairs of tiny white kid gloves : she tookup the fan and a pair of the gloves, and wasjust going to leave the room, when her eye fellupon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time with the

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words “DRINK ME,” but nevertheless she un-corked it and put it to her lips. “ I knowsomething interesting is sure to happen,” shesaid to herself, “ whenever I eat or drink any-thing ; so I ’ll just see what this bottle does.I do hope it ’ll make me grow large again, forreally I ’m quite tired of being such a tinylittle thing !”

It did so indeed, and much sooner than shehad expected : before she had drunk half thebottle, she found her head pressing against theceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck frombeing broken. She hastily put down the bottle,saying to herself, “ That ’s quite enough—I hopeI shan ’t grow any more—As it is, I can ’t getout at the door—I do wish I hadn ’t drunkquite so much !”

Alas ! It was too late to wish that ! Shewent on growing and growing, and very soonhad to kneel down on the floor : in anotherminute there was not even room for this, andshe tried the effect of lying down with one

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 45

elbow against the door, and the other armcurled round her head. Still she went on grow-ing, and, as a last resource, she put one armout of the window, and one foot up the chimney,and said to herself, “ Now I can do no more,whatever happens. What will become of me ?”

Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle hadnow had its full effect, and she grew no larger :still it was very uncomfortable, and, as thereseemed to be no sort of chance of her ever

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getting out of the room again, no wonder shefelt unhappy.

“It was much pleasanter at home,” thoughtpoor Alice, “ when one wasn ’t always growinglarger and smaller, and being ordered about bymice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn ’t gonedown that rabbit-hole—and yet—and yet—it ’srather curious, you know, this sort of life ! Ido wonder what can have happened to me !When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied thatkind of thing never happened, and now here Iam in the middle of one ! There ought to bea book written about me, that there ought !And when I grow up, I ’ll write one—but I ’mgrown up now,” she added in a sorrowful tone,

“at least there ’s no room to grow up any morehere.”

“ But then,” thought Alice, “ shall I neverget any older than I am now ? That ’ll be acomfort, one way—never to be an old woman—but then—always to have lessons to learn ! Oh,I shouldn ’t like that !”

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 47

“ Oh, you foolish Alice !” she answered her-self. “ How can you learn lessons in here ? Why,there ’s hardly room for you, and no room at allfor any lesson-books !”

And so she went on, taking first one side andthen the other, and making quite a conversationof it altogether, but after a few minutes sheheard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

“ Mary Ann ! Mary Ann !” said the voice,

“ fetch me my gloves this moment !” Then camea little pattering of feet on the stairs. Aliceknew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her,and she trembled till she shook the house, quiteforgetting that she was now about a thousandtimes as large as the Rabbit, and had no reasonto be afraid of it.

Presently the Rabbit came up to the door,and tried to open it, but as the door openedinwards, and Alice’s elbow was pressed hardagainst it, that attempt proved a failure. Aliceheard it say to itself, “ Then I ’ll go round andget in at the window.”

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“That you won’t !” thought Alice, and, afterwaiting till she fancied she heard the Rabbitjust under the window, she suddenly spread

out her hand, andmade a snatch in theair. She did not gethold of anything, butshe heard a littleshriek and a fall,and a crash of bro-ken glass, from whichshe concluded thatit was just possibleit had fallen into acucumber-frame, orsomething of the sort.

Next came an angry voice—the Rabbit’s—

“ Pat ! Pat ! Where are you ?” And then avoice she had never heard before, “ Sure thenI ’m here ! Digging for apples, yer honour !”

“ Digging for apples, indeed !” said theRabbit angrily. “ Here ! Come and help me

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 49

out of this !” (Sounds of more broken glass.)

“Now tell me, Pat, what’s that in the window?”

“ Sure, it’s an arm, yer honour !” (He pro-nounced it “ arrum.”)

“ An arm, you goose ! Who ever saw onethat size ? Why, it fills the whole window !”

“Sure, it does, yer honour : but it ’s an armfor all that.”

“Well, it’s got no business there, at any rate:go and take it away !”

There was a long silence after this, and Alicecould only hear whispers now and then, suchas, “Sure, I don’t like it, yer honour, at all, atall !” “ Do as I tell you, you coward !” and atlast she spread out her hand again and madeanother snatch in the air. This time there weretwo little shrieks, and more sounds of brokenglass. “ What a number of cucumber framesthere must be !” thought Alice. “ I wonderwhat they ’ll do next ! As for pulling me outof the window, I only wish they could ! I ’msure I don’t want to stay in here any longer !”

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She waited for some time without hearinganything more : at last came a rumbling oflittle cart-wheels, and the sound of a good manyvoices all talking together : she made out thewords, “ Where ’s the other ladder ?—Why, Ihadn ’t to bring but one : Bill ’s got the other—Bill ! fetch it here, lad !—Here, put ’em up atthis corner—No, tie ’em together first—theydon’t reach half high enough yet—Oh! they ’lldo well enough ; don ’t be particular—Here,Bill ! catch hold of this rope—Will the roofbear ?—Mind that loose slate—Oh, it ’s comingdown ! Heads below !” (a loud crash)—“ Now,who did that ?—It was Bill, I fancy—Who ’sto go down the chimney ?—Nay, I shan ’t !You do it !—That I won ’t then !—Bill ’s gotto go down—Here, Bill ! the master says you ’vegot to go down the chimney !”

“Oh, so Bill ’s got to come down the chim-ney, has he ?” said Alice to herself. “ Why,they seem to put everything upon Bill ! Iwouldn ’t be in Bill’s place for a good deal :

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 51

this fireplace is narrow,to be sure, but I thinkI can kick a little !”

She drew her foot asfar down the chimney asshe could, and waited tillshe heard a little animal(she couldn ’t guess ofwhat sort it was) scratch-ing and scrambling aboutin the chimney close aboveher : then, saying to her-self, “ This is Bill,” shegave one sharp kick, andwaited to see what wouldhappen next.

The first thing sheheard was a generalchorus of “ There goesBill !” then the Rabbit’svoice alone—“Catch him,you by the hedge !” then

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silence, and then another confusion of voices—

“Hold up his head—Brandy now—Don ’t chokehim—How was it, old fellow? What happenedto you ? Tell us all about it !”

Last came a little feeble squeaking voice,(“ That ’s Bill,” thought Alice,) “ Well, I hardlyknow—No more, thank ’ye, I ’m better now—but I ’m a deal too flustered to tell you—allI know is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket !”

“So you did, old fellow !” said the others.

“We must burn the house down !” said theRabbit’s voice, and Alice called out as loud asshe could, “If you do, I ’ll set Dinah at you !”

There was a dead silence instantly, and Alicethought to herself, “ I wonder what they willdo next ! If they had any sense, they’d takethe roof off.” After a minute or two theybegan moving about again, and Alice heard theRabbit say, “A barrowful will do, to begin with.”

“ A barrowful of what ?” thought Alice ; butshe had not long to doubt, for the next moment

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 53

a shower of little pebbles came rattling in atthe window, and some of them hit her in theface. “ I ’ll put a stop to this,” she said to herselfand shouted out, “ You ’d better not do thatagain !” which produced another dead silence.

Alice noticed with some surprise that thepebbles were all turning into little cakes as theylay on the floor, and a bright idea came intoher head. “ If I eat one of these cakes,” shethought, “ it’ s sure to make some change in mysize ; and as it can ’t possibly make me larger,it must make me smaller, I suppose.”

So she swallowed one of the cakes, and wasdelighted to find that she began shrinkingdirectly. As soon as she was small enough toget through the door, she ran out of the house,and found quite a crowd of little animals andbirds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard,Bill, was in the middle, being held up by twoguinea-pigs, who were giving it something outof a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice themoment she appeared, but she ran off as hard

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as she could, and soon found herself safe in athick wood.

“The first thing I’ve got to do,” said Aliceto herself, as she wandered about in the wood,

“ is to grow to my right size again ; and thesecond thing is to find my way into that lovelygarden. I think that will be the best plan.”

It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, andvery neatly and simply arranged ; the onlydifficulty was, that she had not the smallestidea how to set about it ; and while she waspeering about anxiously among the trees, alittle sharp bark just over her head made herlook up in a great hurry.

An enormous puppy was looking down ather with large round eyes, and feebly stretchingout one paw, trying to touch her. “Poor littlething!” said Alice in a coaxing tone, and shetried hard to whistle to it, but she was terriblyfrightened all the time at the thought that itmight be hungry, in which case it would be verylikely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 55

Hardly knowing what she did, she picked upa little bit of stick, and held it out to thepuppy ; whereupon the puppy jumped into theair off all its feet at once, with a yelp of

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delight, and rushed at the stick, and made be-lieve to worry it ; then Alice dodged behind agreat thistle, to keep herself from being runover, and, the moment she appeared on theother side, the puppy made another rush at thestick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurryto get hold of it ; then Alice, thinking it wasvery like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every moment to be tram-pled under its feet, ran round the thistle again ;then the puppy began a series of short chargesat the stick, running a very little way forwardseach time and a long way back, and barkinghoarsely all the while, till at last it sat downa good way off, panting, with its tongue hang-ing out of its mouth, and its great eyes halfshut.

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity formaking her escape, so she set off at once, andran till she was quite tired and out of breath,and till the puppy’s bark sounded quite faintin the distance.

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IN A LITTLE BILL. 57

“And yet what a dear little puppy it was !”said Alice, as she leant against a buttercup torest herself, and fanned herself with one of theleaves , “ I should have liked teaching it tricksvery much, if—if I’d only been the right sizeto do it ! Oh dear ! I’d nearly forgotten thatI’ve got to grow up again ! Let me see—howis it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eator drink something or other ; but the greatquestion is, what ?”

The great question certainly was, what ?Alice looked all round her at the flowers andthe blades of grass, but she could not see any-thing that looked like the right thing to eator drink under the circumstances. There was alarge mushroom growing near her, about thesame height as herself, and when she had look-ed under it, and on both sides of it, and behindit, it occurred to her that she might as welllook and see what was on the top of it.

She stretched herself up on tiptoe, andpeeped over the edge of the mushroom, and her

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eyes immediately met those of a large bluecaterpillar, that was sitting on the top with itsarms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, andtaking not the smallest notice of her or of any-thing else.

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CHAPTER V.

ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR.

THE Caterpillar and Alice looked at eachother for some time in silence : at last theCaterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth,

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and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.

“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.This was not an encouraging opening for a

conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “ I—Ihardly know, sir, just at present—at least Iknow who I was when I got up this morning,but I think I must have been changed severaltimes since then.”

“ What do you mean by that ?” said theCaterpillar sternly. “ Explain yourself !”

“ I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, sir,”said Alice, “because I’m not myself, you see.”

“I don ’t see,” said the Caterpillar.

“ I’m afraid I can’t put it more clearly,”Alice replied very politely, “ for I can ’t under-stand it myself to begin with ; and being somany different sizes in a day is very confusing.”

“It isn ’t,” said the Caterpillar.

“Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,”said Alice ; “ but when you have to turn into achrysalis—you will some day, you know—andthen after that into a butterfly, I should think

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CATERPILLAR. 61

you’ll feel it a little queer, won’t you ?”

“Not a bit,” said the Caterpillar.

“Well, perhaps your feelings may be differ-ent,” said Alice ; “all I know is, it would feelvery queer to me.”

“You !” said the Caterpillar contemptuously.

“Who are you?”Which brought them back again to the be-

ginning of the conversation. Alice felt a littleirritated at the Caterpillar’s making such veryshort remarks, and she drew herself up andsaid, very gravely, “I think, you ought to tellme who you are, first.”

“Why?” said the Caterpillar.Here was another puzzling question ; and, as

Alice could not think of any good reason, andas the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very un-pleasant state of mind, she turned away.

“ Come back !” the Caterpillar called afterher. “I’ve something important to say !”

This sounded promising, certainly : Aliceturned and came back again.

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“Keep your temper,” said the Caterpillar.

“ Is that all ?” said Alice, swallowing downher anger as well as she could.

“No,” said the Caterpillar.Alice thought she might as well wait, as

she had nothing else to do, and perhaps afterall it might tell her something worth hearing.For some minutes it puffed away without speak-ing, but at last it unfolded its arms, took thehookah out of its mouth again, and said, “ Soyou think you’re changed, do you ?”

“I’m afraid I am, sir,” said Alice ; “I can’tremember things as I used—and I don’t keepthe same size for ten minutes together !”

“ Can’t remember what things ?” said theCaterpillar.

“ Well, I’ve tried to say ‘How doth thelittle busy bee,’ but it all came different !”Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.

“ Repeat ‘You are old, Father William,’ ”said the Caterpillar.

Alice folded her hands, and began :—

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CATERPILLAR. 63

“ You are old, father William,” the young man said,

“ And your hair has become very white ;

And yet you incessantly stand on your head—

Do you think, at your age, it is right ?”

“ In my youth,” father William replied to his son,

“ I feared it might injure the brain ;

But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,

Why, I do it again and again.”

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“ You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before,

And have grown most uncommonly fat ;

Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—

Pray, what is the reason of that ?”

“ In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,

“ I kept all my limbs very supple

By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—

Allow me to sell you a couple.”

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CATERPILLAR. 65

“You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak

For anything tougher than suet ;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—

Pray, how did you manage to do it ?”

“ In my youth,” said his father, “ I took to the law,

And argued each case with my wife ;

And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,

Has lasted the rest of my life.”

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“ You are old,” said the youth ; “ one would hardly suppose

That your eye was as steady as ever ;

Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—

What made you so awfully clever ?”

“ I have answered three questions, and that is enough,”

Said his father ; “ don’t give yourself airs !

Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff ?

Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs !”

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CATERPILLAR. 67

“That is not said right,” said the Caterpillar.

“ Not quite right, I’m afraid,” said Alicetimidly ; “ some of the words have got altered.”

“ It is wrong from beginning to end,” saidthe Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silencefor some minutes.

The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

“What size do you want to be ?” it asked.

“ Oh, I’m not particular as to size,” Alicehastily replied ; “only one doesn’t like changingso often, you know.”

“I don’t know,” said the Caterpillar.Alice said nothing : she had never been so

much contradicted in her life before, and shefelt that she was losing her temper.

“Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar.

“Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir,if you wouldn’t mind,” said Alice : “ three inchesis such a wretched height to be.”

“It is a very good height indeed !” said theCaterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as itspoke (it was exactly three inches high).

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“ But I’m not used to it !” pleaded poorAlice in a piteous tone. And she thought toherself, “ I wish the creatures wouldn’t be soeasily offended !”

“ You ’ll get used to it in time,” said theCaterpillar ; and it put the hookah into itsmouth and began smoking again.

This time Alice waited patiently until itchose to speak again. In a minute or two theCaterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth,and yawned once or twice, and shook itself.Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawledaway into the grass, merely remarking as itwent, “ One side will make you grow taller,and the other side will make you grow shorter.”

“ One side of what ? The other side ofwhat ?” thought Alice to herself.

“ Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar,just as if she had asked it aloud ; and inanother moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at themushroom for a minute, trying to make out

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CATERPILLAR. 69

which were the two sides of it ; and, as it wasperfectly round, she found this a very difficultquestion. However, at last she stretched herarms round it as far as they would go, andbroke off a bit of the edge with each hand.

“And now which is which ?” she said to her-self, and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit totry the effect : the next moment she felt a vio-lent blow underneath her chin : it had struckher foot !

She was a good deal frightened by this verysudden change, but she felt that there was notime to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly ;so she set to work at once to eat some of theother bit. Her chin was pressed so closelyagainst her foot, that there was hardly room toopen her mouth ; but she did it at last, andmanaged to swallow a morsel of the left-handbit.

* * * * ** * * *

* * * * *

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“Come, my head’s free at last !” said Alice ina tone of delight, which changed into alarm inanother moment, when she found that hershoulders were nowhere to be found : all shecould see, when she looked down, was an im-mense length of neck, which seemed to riselike a stalk out of a sea of green leaves thatlay far below her.

“ What can all that green stuff be ?” saidAlice. “And where have my shoulders got to?And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can ’t seeyou ?” She was moving them about as shespoke, but no result seemed to follow, except alittle shaking among the distant green leaves.

As there seemed to be no chance of gettingher hands up to her head, she tried to get herhead down to them, and was delighted to findthat her neck would bend about easily in anydirection, like a serpent. She had just succeededin curving it down into a graceful zigzag, andwas going to dive in among the leaves, whichshe found to be nothing but the tops of the

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CATERPILLAR. 71

trees under which she had been wandering,when a sharp hiss made her draw back in ahurry : a large pigeon had flown into her face,and was beating her violently with its wings.

“Serpent !” screamed the Pigeon.

“I’m not a serpent !” said Alice indignantly.

“Let me alone !”

“Serpent, I say again !” repeated the Pigeon,but in a more subdued tone, and added witha kind of sob, “ I’ve tried every way, andnothing seems to suit them !”

“I haven ’t the least idea what you ’re talk-ing about,” said Alice.

“I’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve triedbanks, and I’ve tried hedges,” the Pigeon wenton, without attending to her ; “ but thoseserpents ! There ’s no pleasing them !”

Alice was more and more puzzled, but shethought there was no use in saying anythingmore till the Pigeon had finished.

“ As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatchingthe eggs,” said the Pigeon ; “but I must be on

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the look-out for serpents night and day ! Why,I haven ’t had a wink of sleep these threeweeks !”

“I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” saidAlice, who was beginning to see its meaning.

“And just as I’d taken the highest tree inthe wood,” continued the Pigeon, raising itsvoice to a shriek, “and just as I was thinkingI should be free of them at last, they mustneeds come wriggling down from the sky !Ugh! Serpent !”

“ But I ’m not a serpent, I tell you !” saidAlice. “I ’m a—— I ’m a——”

“ Well ! What are you ?” said the Pigeon.

“I can see you ’re trying to invent something !”

“ I—I ’m a little girl,” said Alice, ratherdoubtfully, as she remembered the number ofchanges she had gone through that day.

“A likely story indeed !” said the Pigeon ina tone of the deepest contempt. “ I ’ve seen agood many little girls in my time, but never onewith such a neck as that ! No, no ! You ’re a

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CATERPILLAR. 73

serpent ; and there ’s no use denying it. I sup-pose you ’ll be telling me next that you nevertasted an egg !”

“ I have tasted eggs, certainly,” said Alice,who was a very truthful child ; “but little girlseat eggs quite as much as serpents do, youknow.”

“I don’t believe it,” said the Pigeon ; “ but ifthey do, why then they ’re a kind of serpent,that ’s all I can say.”

This was such a new idea to Alice, thatshe was quite silent for a minute or two, whichgave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding,

“ You ’re looking for eggs, I know that wellenough ; and what does it matter to mewhether you ’re a little girl or a serpent ?”

“It matters a good deal to me,” said Alicehastily ; “ but I ’m not looking for eggs, as ithappens ; and if I was, I shouldn ’t want yours :I don’t like them raw.”

“ Well, be off, then !” said the Pigeon in asulky tone, as it settled down again into its

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nest. Alice crouched down among the trees aswell as she could, for her neck kept gettingentangled among the branches, and every nowand then she had to stop and untwist it.After a while she remembered that she stillheld the pieces of mushroom in her hands, andshe set to work very carefully, nibbling first atone and then at the other, and growing some-times taller and sometimes shorter, until shehad succeeded in bringing herself down to herusual height.

It was so long since she had been anythingnear the right size, that it felt quite strangeat first, but she got used to it in a fewminutes, and began talking to herself as usual.

“Come, there ’s half my plan done now! Howpuzzling all these changes are ! I ’m never surewhat I ’m going to be, from one minute toanother ! However, I ’ve got back to my rightsize : the next thing is, to get into that beau-tiful garden—how is that to be done, I won-der?” As she said this, she came suddenly upon

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CATERPILLAR. 75

an open place, with a little house in it aboutfour feet high. “Whoever lives there,” thoughtAlice, “ it ’ll never do to come upon them thissize : why, I should frighten them out of theirwits !” So she began nibbling at the right-handbit again, and did not venture to go near thehouse till she had brought herself down to nineinches high.

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CHAPTER VI.

PIG AND PEPPER.

FOR a minute or two she stood looking atthe house, and wondering what to do next,when suddenly a footman in livery came run-ning out of the wood—(she considered him tobe a footman because he was in livery : other-wise, judging by his face only, she wouldhave called him a fish)—and rapped loudly atthe door with his knuckles. It was opened byanother footman in livery, with a round faceand large eyes like a frog ; and both footmen,Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curledall over their heads. She felt very curious

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PIG AND PEPPER. 77

to know what it was all about, and crept alittle way out of the wood to listen.

The Fish-Footman began by producing fromunder his arm a great letter, nearly as largeas himself, and this he handed over to theother, saying in a solemn tone, “ For theDuchess. An invitation from the Queen to play

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croquet.” The Frog-Footman repeated, in thesame solemn tone, only changing the order ofthe words a little, “From the Queen. An invi-tation for the Duchess to play croquet.”

Then they both bowed low, and their curlsgot entangled together.

Alice laughed so much at this that she hadto run back into the wood for fear of theirhearing her, and when she next peeped out theFish-Footman was gone, and the other was sittingon the ground near the door, staring stupidlyup into the sky.

Alice went timidly up to the door, andknocked.

“ There ’s no sort of use in knocking,” saidthe Footman, “ and that for two reasons. First,because I ’m on the same side of the door asyou are; secondly, because they’re making such anoise inside, no one could possibly hear you.”And certainly there was a most extraordinarynoise going on within—a constant howlingand sneezing, and every now and then a great

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PIG AND PEPPER. 79

crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken topieces.

“ Please, then,” said Alice, “ how am I toget in ?”

“There might be some sense in your knock-ing,” the Footman went on without attendingto her, “ if we had the door between us. Forinstance, if you were inside, you might knock,and I could let you out, you know.” He waslooking up into the sky all the time he wasspeaking, and this Alice thought decidedlyuncivil. “ But perhaps he can’t help it,” shesaid to herself ; “ his eyes are so very nearlyat the top of his head. But at any rate hemight answer questions—How am I to getin?” she repeated, aloud.

“ I shall sit here,” the Footman remarked,

“till to-morrow——”At this moment the door of the house

opened, and a large plate came skimming out,straight at the Footman’s head : it just grazedhis nose, and broke to pieces against one of

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the trees behind him.

“——or next day, maybe,” the Footman con-tinued in the same tone, exactly as if nothinghad happened.

“How am I to get in?” asked Alice again ina louder tone.

“Are you to get in at all ?” said the Foot-man. “ That ’s the first question, you know.”

It was, no doubt : only Alice did not like tobe told so. “It ’s really dreadful,” she mutteredto herself, “ the way all the creatures argue.It ’s enough to drive one crazy !”

The Footman seemed to think this a goodopportunity for repeating his remark, withvariations. “ I shall sit here,” he said, “on andoff, for days and days.”

“But what am I to do?” said Alice.

“Anything you like,” said the Footman, andbegan whistling.

“Oh, there ’s no use in talking to him,” saidAlice desperately : “ he ’s perfectly idiotic !” Andshe opened the door and went in.

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PIG AND PEPPER. 81

The door led right into a large kitchen,which was full of smoke from one end to theother : the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby ; thecook was leaning over the fire, stirring a largecauldron which seemed to be full of soup.

“There ’s certainly too much pepper in thatsoup !” Alice said to herself, as well as shecould for sneezing.

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There was certainly too much of it in theair. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally ;and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howl-ing alternately without a moment’s pause. Theonly two creatures in the kitchen that did notsneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which wassitting on the hearth and grinning from ear toear.

“ Please, would you tell me,” said Alice, alittle timidly, for she was not quite surewhether it was good manners for her to speakfirst, “ why your cat grins like that ?”

“ It ’s a Cheshire cat,” said the Duchess,

“and that ’s why. Pig !”She said the last word with such sudden

violence that Alice quite jumped ; but she sawin another moment that it was addressed tothe baby, and not to her, so she took courage,and went on again :—

“ I didn’t know that Cheshire cats alwaysgrinned ; in fact, I didn’t know that cats couldgrin.”

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PIG AND PEPPER. 83

“ They all can,” said the Duchess ; “ andmost of ’em do.”

“I don’t know of any that do,” Alice saidvery politely, feeling quite pleased to have gotinto a conversation.

“You don’t know much,” said the Duchess ;

“and that ’s a fact.”Alice did not at all like the tone of this

remark, and thought it would be as well tointroduce some other subject of conversation.While she was trying to fix on one, the cooktook the cauldron of soup off the fire, and atonce set to work throwing everything withinher reach at the Duchess and the baby—thefire-irons came first ; then followed a showerof saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchesstook no notice of them even when they hit her ;and the baby was howling so much already, thatit was quite impossible to say whether theblows hurt it or not.

“Oh, please mind what you ’re doing !” criedAlice, jumping up and down in an agony of

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terror. “ Oh, there goes his precious nose !” asan unusually large saucepan flew close by it,and very nearly carried it off.

“ If everybody minded their own business,”said the Duchess in a hoarse growl, “ the worldwould go round a deal faster than it does.”

“ Which would not be an advantage,” saidAlice, who felt very glad to get an opportunityof showing off a little of her knowledge. “ Justthink of what work it would make with the dayand night ! You see the earth takes twenty-fourhours to turn round on its axis——”

“Talking of axes,” said the Duchess, “ chopoff her head !”

Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook,to see if she meant to take the hint ; but thecook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed notto be listening, so she went on again : “Twenty-four hours, I think ; or is it twelve ? I——”

“Oh, don’t bother me,” said the Duchess ; “Inever could abide figures.” And with that shebegan nursing her child again, singing a sort of

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PIG AND PEPPER. 85

lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a vio-lent shake at the end of every line :—

“ Speak roughly to your little boy,

And beat him when he sneezes ;

He only does it to annoy,

Because he knows it teases.”

CHORUS

(in which the cook and the baby joined) :—

“ Wow! wow! wow !”

While the Duchess sang the second verse ofthe song, she kept tossing the baby violently upand down, and the poor little thing howled so,that Alice could hardly hear the words :—

“ I speak severely to my boy,

I beat him when he sneezes ;

For he can thoroughly enjoy

The pepper when he pleases !”

CHORUS

“ Wow! wow! wow !”

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“Here ! you may nurse it a bit, if you like !”said the Duchess to Alice, flinging the baby ather as she spoke. “I must go and get ready toplay croquet with the Queen,” and she hurriedout of the room. The cook threw a fryingpanafter her as she went, but it just missed her.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty,as it was a queer-shaped little creature, and heldout its arms and legs in all directions, “ just likea star-fish,” thought Alice. The poor little thingwas snorting like a steam-engine when shecaught it, and kept doubling itself up andstraightening itself out again, so that altogether,for the first minute or two, it was as much asshe could do to hold it.

As soon as she had made out the proper wayof nursing it, (which was to twist it up into asort of knot, and then keep tight hold of itsright ear and left foot, so as to prevent itsundoing itself,) she carried it out into the openair. “ If I don’t take this child away with me,”thought Alice, “ they ’re sure to kill it in a day

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PIG AND PEPPER. 87

or two : wouldn’t it be murder to leave itbehind?” She said the last words out loud, andthe little thing grunted in reply (it had left offsneezing by this time). “ Don’t grunt,” saidAlice : “ that ’s not at all a proper way ofexpressing yourself.”

The baby grunted again, and Alice lookedvery anxiously into its face to see what was thematter with it. There could be no doubt thatit had a very turn-up nose, much more like asnout than a real nose ; also its eyes weregetting extremely small, for a baby : altogetherAlice did not like the look of the thing at all,

“ —but perhaps it was only sobbing,” shethought, and looked into its eyes again, to seeif there were any tears.

No, there were no tears. “ If you ’re going toturn into a pig, my dear,” said Alice, seriously,

“I ’ll have nothing more to do with you. Mindnow !” The poor little thing sobbed again, (orgrunted, it was impossible to say which,) andthey went on for some while in silence.

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Alice was just beginning to think to herself,

“ Now, what am I to do with this creaturewhen I get it home ?” when it grunted again,

so violently, that shelooked down into itsface in some alarm.This time there couldbe no mistake aboutit : it was neithermore nor less thana pig, and she feltthat it would bequite absurd for herto carry it any fur-ther.

So she set thelittle creature down, and felt quite relieved tosee it trot away quietly into the wood. “ Ifit had grown up,” she said to herself, “ it wouldhave made a dreadfully ugly child : but it makesrather a handsome pig, I think.” And she be-gan thinking over other children she knew, who

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PIG AND PEPPER. 89

might do very well as pigs, and was just say-ing to herself, “ if one only knew the right wayto change them——” when she was a littlestartled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting ona bough of a tree a few yards off.

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice.It looked goodnatured, she thought : still ithad very long claws and a great many teeth,so she felt it ought to be treated with respect.

“ Cheshire Puss,” she began, rather timidly,as she did not at all know whether it wouldlike the name : however, it only grinned a littlewider. “ Come, it ’s pleased so far,” thoughtAlice, and she went on, “ Would you tell me,please, which way I ought to walk from here ?”

“ That depends a good deal on where youwant to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don ’t much care where——” said Alice.

“ Then it doesn’t matter which way youwalk,” said the Cat.

“ ——so long as I get somewhere,” Aliceadded as an explanation.

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“Oh, you ’re sure to do that,” said the Cat,

“ if you only walk long enough.”Alice felt that this could not be denied, so

she tried another question. “ What sort ofpeople live about here ?”

“In that direction,” the Cat said, waving itsright paw round, “ lives a Hatter : and in thatdirection,” waving the other paw, “ lives a MarchHare. Visit either you like : they ’re both mad.”

“ But I don’t want to go among madpeople,” Alice remarked.

“ Oh, you can ’t help that,” said the Cat :

“we’re all mad here. I ’m mad. You’re mad.”

“ How do you know I ’m mad ?” said Alice.

“ You must be,” said the Cat, “ or youwouldn’t have come here.”

Alice didn ’t think that proved it at all ;however, she went on: “ And how do you knowthat you ’re mad ?”

“To begin with,” said the Cat, “ a dog ’s notmad. You grant that ?”

“I suppose so,” said Alice.

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“Well, then,” the Catwent on, “ you see a doggrowls when it ’s angry,and wags its tail when it ’spleased. Now I growl whenI ’m pleased, and wag mytail when I’m angry. There-fore I ’m mad.”

“ I call it purring, notgrowling,” said Alice.

“ Call it what you like,”said the Cat. “ Do you

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play croquet with the Queen to day ?”

“ I should like it very much,” said Alice,

“but I haven’t been invited yet.”

“ You ’ll see me there,” said the Cat, andvanished.

Alice was not much surprised at this, shewas getting so used to queer things hap-pening. While she was looking at the placewhere it had been, it suddenly appeared again.

“ By-the-bye, what became of the baby ?”said the Cat. “I ’d nearly forgotten to ask.”

“It turned into a pig,” Alice answered veryquietly, just as if the Cat had come back in anatural way.

“ I thought it would,” said the Cat, andvanished again.

Alice waited a little, half expecting to see itagain, but it did not appear, and after a minuteor two she walked on in the direction in whichthe March Hare was said to live. “ I ’ve seenhatters before,” she said to herself : ” the MarchHare will be much the most interesting, and

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PIG AND PEPPER. 93

perhaps as this is May it won’t be raving mad—at least not so mad as it was in March.” Asshe said this, she looked up, and there was theCat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.

“Did you say pig, or fig ?” said the Cat.

“I said pig,” replied Alice ; “ and I wish youwouldn’t keep appearing and vanishing so sud-denly : you make one quite giddy.”

“All right,” said the Cat ; and this time itvanished quite slowly, beginning with the end ofthe tail, and ending with the grin, which re-mained some time after the rest of it had gone.

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“Well ! I ’ve often seen a cat without a grin,”thought Alice ; “ but a grin without a cat !It’ s the most curious thing I ever saw in allmy life !”

She had not gone much farther before shecame in sight of the house of the March Hare :she thought it must be the right house, becausethe chimneys were shaped like ears and the roofwas thatched with fur. It was so large a house,that she did not like to go nearer till she hadnibbled some more of the left-hand bit of mush-room, and raised herself to about two feet high :even then she walked up towards it rathertimidly, saying to herself, “ Suppose it shouldbe raving mad after all ! I almost wish I ’d goneto see the Hatter instead !”

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CHAPTER VII.

A MAD TEA-PARTY.

THERE was a table set out under a tree infront of the house, and the March Hare and theHatter were having tea at it : a Dormouse wassitting between them, fast asleep, and the othertwo were using it as a cushion, resting theirelbows on it, and talking over its head. “ Veryuncomfortable for the Dormouse,” thought Alice;

“only, as it ’s asleep, I suppose it doesn ’t mind.”The table was a large one, but the three

were all crowded together at one corner of it :

“ No room ! No room !” they cried out whenthey saw Alice coming. “ There ’s plenty of

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room!” said Alice indignantly, and she sat downin a large arm-chair at one end of the table.

“Have some wine,” the March Hare said inan encouraging tone.

Alice looked all round the table, but therewas nothing on it but tea. “ I don ’t see anywine,” she remarked.

“There isn ’t any,” said the March Hare.

“ Then it wasn ’t very civil of you to offerit,” said Alice angrily.

“ It wasn ’t very civil of you to sit downwithout being invited,” said the March Hare.

“ I didn ’t know it was your table,” saidAlice ; “ it ’s laid for a great many more thanthree.”

“Your hair wants cutting,” said the Hatter.He had been looking at Alice for some timewith great curiosity, and this was his firstspeech.

“ You should learn not to make personalremarks,” Alice said with some severity : “ it ’svery rude.”

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The Hatter opened his eyes very wide onhearing this ; but all he said was, “ Why is araven like a writing-desk ?”

“ Come, we shall have some fun now !”thought Alice. “ I ’m glad they ’ve begun ask-ing riddles—I believe I can guess that,” sheadded aloud.

“Do you mean that you think you can findout the answer to it ?” said the March Hare.

“Exactly so,” said Alice.

“Then you should say what you mean,” theH

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March Hare went on.

“ I do,” Alice hastily replied ; “ at least—atleast I mean what I say—that ’s the same thing,you know.”

“Not the same thing a bit !” said the Hatter.

“Why, you might just as well say that ‘ I seewhat I eat’ is the same thing as ‘ I eat what Isee’ !”

“ You might just as well say,” added theMarch Hare, “ that ‘ I like what I get’ is thesame thing as ‘ I get what I like’ !”

“ You might just as well say,” added theDormouse, who seemed to be talking in hissleep, “ that ‘ I breathe when I sleep’ is the samething as ‘ I sleep when I breathe’ !”

“ It is the same thing with you,” said theHatter, and here the conversation dropped, andthe party sat silent for a minute, while Alicethought over all she could remember aboutravens and writing-desks, which wasn ’t much.

The Hatter was the first to break the silence.

“What day of the month is it ?” he said, turn-

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A MAD TEA-PARTY. 99

ing to Alice : he had taken his watch out ofhis pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shak-ing it every now and then, and holding it tohis ear.

Alice considered a little, and said, “ Thefourth.”

“ Two days wrong !” sighed the Hatter. “ Itold you butter wouldn ’t suit the works !” headded, looking angrily at the March Hare.

“ It was the best butter,” the March Haremeekly replied.

“ Yes, but some crumbs must have got inas well,” the Hatter grumbled : “you shouldn ’thave put it in with the bread-knife.”

The March Hare took the watch and lookedat it gloomily : then he dipped it into his cupof tea, and looked at it again : but he couldthink of nothing better to say than his firstremark, “ It was the best butter, you know.”

Alice had been looking over his shoulder withsome curiosity. “ What a funny watch !” sheremarked. “ It tells the day of the month, and

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doesn ’t tell what o’clock it is !”

“ Why should it ?” muttered the Hatter.

“Does your watch tell you what year it is ?”

“Of course not,” Alice replied very readily :

“but that ’s because it stays the same year forsuch a long time together.”

“ Which is just the case with mine,” saidthe Hatter.

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter’sremark seemed to her to have no sort of meaningin it, and yet it was certainly English. “I don ’tquite understand you,” she said, as politely as shecould.

“ The Dormouse is asleep again,” said theHatter, and he poured a little hot tea on to itsnose.

The Dormouse shook its head impatiently,and said, without opening its eyes, “Of course,of course : just what I was going to remarkmyself.”

“ Have you guessed the riddle yet ?” theHatter said, turning to Alice again.

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A MAD TEA-PARTY. 101

“ No, I give it up,” Alice replied : “ what ’sthe answer ?”

“ I haven ’t the slightest idea,” said theHatter.

“Nor I,” said the March Hare.Alice sighed wearily. “ I think you might

do something better with the time,” she said,

“ than waste it in asking riddles that haveno answers.”

“ If you knew Time as well as I do,” saidthe Hatter, “ you wouldn’t talk about wastingit. It ’s him.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” said Alice.

“ Of course you don’t !” the Hatter said,tossing his head contemptuously. “I dare sayyou never even spoke to Time !”

“Perhaps not,” Alice cautiously replied : “ butI know I have to beat time when I learnmusic.”

“Ah! that accounts for it,” said the Hatter.

“ He won’t stand beating. Now, if you onlykept on good terms with him, he ’d do almost

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anything you liked with the clock. For in-stance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morn-ing, just time to begin lessons : you ’d only haveto whisper a hint to Time, and round goes theclock in a twinkling ! Half-past one, time fordinner !”

(“ I only wish it was,” the March Hare saidto itself in a whisper.)

“That would be grand, certainly,” said Alicethoughtfully : “ but then—I shouldn’t be hungryfor it, you know.”

“Not at first, perhaps,” said the Hatter : “ but you could keep it to half-past one as long asyou liked.”

“ Is that the way you manage ?” Aliceasked.

The Hatter shook his head mournfully. “NotI !” he replied. “ We quarrelled last March——just before he went mad, you know——” (point-ing with his teaspoon at the March Hare,)

“——it was at the great concert given by theQueen of Hearts, and I had to sing

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A MAD TEA-PARTY. 103

‘ Twinkle, twinkle, little bat !

How I wonder what you’re at !’

You know the song, perhaps ?”

“I ’ve heard something like it,” said Alice.

“It goes on, you know,” the Hatter continued,

“ in this way :—

‘ Up above the world you fly,

Like a teatray in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle————’ ”

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Here the Dormouse shook itself, and begansinging in its sleep “ Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle,twinkle——” and went on so long that they hadto pinch it to make it stop.

“ Well, I ’d hardly finished the first verse,”said the Hatter, “when the Queen bawled out

‘ He ’s murdering the time ! Off with his head !’”

“How dreadfully savage !” exclaimed Alice.

“And ever since that,” the Hatter went onin a mournful tone, “ he won’t do a thing Iask ! It ’s always six o’clock now.”

A bright idea came into Alice’s head. “ Isthat the reason so many tea-things are put outhere?” she asked.

“Yes, that ’s it,” said the Hatter with a sigh :

“ it ’s always tea-time, and we ’ve no time towash the things between whiles.”

“Then you keep moving round, I suppose?”said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter : “ as the thingsget used up.”

“ But when you come to the beginning

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A MAD TEA-PARTY. 105

again?” Alice ventured to ask.

“Suppose we change the subject,” the MarchHare interrupted, yawning. “ I ’m getting tiredof this. I vote the young lady tells us astory.”

“I ’m afraid I don’t know one,” said Alice,rather alarmed at the proposal.

“Then the Dormouse shall !” they both cried.

“ Wake up, Dormouse !” And they pinched iton both sides at once.

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. “ Iwasn’t asleep,” he said in a hoarse, feeble voice :

“I heard every word you fellows were saying.”

“Tell us a story !” said the March Hare.

“Yes, please do !” pleaded Alice.

“And be quick about it,” added the Hatter,

“or you ’ll be asleep again before it ’s done.”

“ Once upon a time there were three littlesisters,” the Dormouse began in a great hurry ;

“and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie ;and they lived at the bottom of a well——”

“ What did they live on ?” said Alice, who

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always took a great interest in questions ofeating and drinking.

“They lived on treacle,” said the Dormouse,after thinking a minute or two.

“They couldn’t have done that, you know,”Alice gently remarked ; “ they ’d have been ill.”

“So they were,” said the Dormouse; “very ill.”Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what

such an extraordinary way of living would belike, but it puzzled her too much, so she wenton : “ But why did they live at the bottom ofa well ?”

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare saidto Alice, very earnestly.

“I ’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in anoffended tone, “ so I can’t take more.”

“ You mean, you can’t take less,” said theHatter : “ it ’s very easy to take more than no-thing.”

“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.

“Who’s making personal remarks now?” theHatter asked triumphantly.

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Alice did not quite know what to say tothis : so she helped herself to some tea andbread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dor-mouse, and repeated her question. “ Why didthey live at the bottom of a well ?”

The Dormouse again took a minute or twoto think about it, and then said, “ It was atreacle-well.”

“ There ’s no such thing !” Alice was begin-ning very angrily, but the Hatter and the MarchHare went “Sh ! sh !” and the Dormouse sulkilyremarked, “ If you can’t be civil, you ’d betterfinish the story for yourself.”

“ No, please go on !” Alice said very hum-bly : “ I won’t interrupt again. I dare saythere may be one.”

“ One, indeed !” said the Dormouse indig-nantly. However, he consented to go on. “Andso these three little sisters—they were learningto draw, you know——”

“ What did they draw ?” said Alice, quiteforgetting her promise.

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“Treacle,” said the Dormouse, without consider-ing at all this time.

“I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter:

“ let ’s all move one place on.”He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse

followed him: the March Hare moved into theDormouse’s place, and Alice rather unwillinglytook the place of the March Hare. The Hatterwas the only one who got any advantage fromthe change : and Alice was a good deal worseoff than before, as the March Hare had just up-set the milk-jug into his plate.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouseagain, so she began very cautiously : “ But Idon’t understand. Where did they draw thetreacle from?”

“You can draw water out of a water-well,”said the Hatter ; “ so I should think you coulddraw treacle out of a treacle-well—eh, stupid ?”

“But they were in the well,” Alice said tothe Dormouse, not choosing to notice this lastremark.

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“Of course they were,” said the Dormouse,—

“well in.”This answer so confused poor Alice, that she

let the Dormouse go on for some time withoutinterrupting it.

“They were learning to draw,” the Dormousewent on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for itwas getting very sleepy ; “ and they drew allmanner of things—everything that begins withan M——”

“Why with an M ?” said Alice.

“Why not?” said the March Hare.Alice was silent.The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this

time, and was going off into a doze, but, onbeing pinched by the Hatter, it woke up againwith a little shriek, and went on : “ ——thatbegins with an M, such as mousetraps, and themoon, and memory, and muchness—you knowyou say things are ‘much of a muchness ’—didyou ever see such a thing as a drawing of amuchness?”

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“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, verymuch confused, “I don’t think——”

“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.

This piece of rudeness was more than Alicecould bear : she got up in great disgust, andwalked off : the Dormouse fell asleep instantly,and neither of the others took the least noticeof her going, though she looked back once ortwice, half hoping that they would call afterher : the last time she saw them, they weretrying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

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At any rate I ’ll never go there again !” saidAlice as she picked her way through the wood.

“It ’s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at inall my life !”

Just as she said this, she noticed that oneof the trees had a door leading right into it.

“ That ’s very curious !” she thought. “ Buteverything’s curious to-day. I think I may aswell go in at once.” And in she went.

Once more she found herself in the long hall,and close to the little glass table. “Now, I ’llmanage better this time,” she said to herself,and began by taking the little golden key, andunlocking the door that led into the garden.Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom(she had kept a piece of it in her pocket) tillshe was about a foot high : then she walkeddown the little passage : and then—she foundherself at last in the beautiful garden, amongthe bright flowerbeds and the cool fountains.

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CHAPTER VIII.

THE QUEEN’S CROQUET-GROUND.

A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance ofthe garden : the roses growing on it were white,but there were three gardeners at it, busilypainting them red. Alice thought this a verycurious thing, and she went nearer to watchthem, and just as she came up to them sheheard one of them say, “Look out now, Five !Don’t go splashing paint over me like that !”

“ I couldn’t help it,” said Five in a sulkytone ; “Seven jogged my elbow.”

On which Seven looked up and said, “ That ’sright, Five ! Always lay the blame on others !”

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THE QUEEN’S CROQUET-GROUND.

“ You’d better not talk !” said Five. “ Iheard the Queen say only yesterday you deservedto be beheaded !”

“ What for ?”said the one whohad spoken first.

“ That ’s noneof your business,Two!” said Seven.

“Yes, it is hisbusiness !” saidFive, “ and I ’lltell him—it wasfor bringing thecook tulip-rootsinstead of onions.”

Seven flungdown his brush, and had just begun, “ Well, ofall the unjust things—” when his eye chancedto fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them,and he checked himself suddenly : the otherslooked round also, and all of them bowed low.

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“ Would you tell me please,” said Alice,a little timidly, “ why you are painting thoseroses?”

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked atTwo. Two began in a low voice, “ Why, thefact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to havebeen a red rose-tree, and we put a white onein by mistake, and if the Queen was to find itout, we should all have our heads cut off, youknow. So you see, Miss, we ’re doing our best,afore she comes, to—” At this moment Five,who had been anxiously looking across thegarden, called out “ The Queen ! The Queen !”and the three gardeners instantly threw them-selves flat upon their faces. There was a soundof many footsteps, and Alice looked round,eager to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs ; thesewere all shaped like the three gardeners, oblongand flat, with their hands and feet at the cor-ners: next the ten courtiers ; these were orna-mented all over with diamonds, and walked two

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and two, as the soldiers did. After these camethe royal children ; there were ten of them,and the little dears came jumping merrily alonghand in hand, in couples : they were all orna-mented with hearts. Next came the guests,mostly Kings and Queens, and among themAlice recognised the White Rabbit : it was talk-ing in a hurried nervous manner, smiling ateverything that was said, and went by withoutnoticing her. Then followed the Knave ofHearts, carrying the King’s crown on a crimsonvelvet cushion ; and, last of all this grand pro-cession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OFHEARTS.

Alice was rather doubtful whether she oughtnot to lie down on her face like the threegardeners, but she could not remember everhaving heard of such a rule at processions ; “ andbesides, what would be the use of a procession,”she thought, “ if people had all to lie down ontheir faces, so that they couldn’t see it ?” Soshe stood where she was, and waited.

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When the procession came opposite to Alice,they all stopped and looked at her, and theQueen said severely, “ Who is this ?” She saidit to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed andsmiled in reply.

“ Idiot !” said the Queen, tossing her headimpatiently ; and, turning to Alice, she wenton, “What ’s your name, child ?”

“My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,”said Alice very politely ; but she added, toherself, “ Why, they ’re only a pack of cards,after all. I needn ’t be afraid of them !”

“And who are these ?” said the Queen, point-ing to the three gardeners who were lyinground the rose-tree ; for you see, as they werelying on their faces, and the pattern on theirbacks was the same as the rest of the pack,she could not tell whether they were gardeners,or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her ownchildren.

“How should I know ?” said Alice, surprisedat her own courage. “It ’s no business of mine.”

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The Queen turned crimson with fury, and,after glaring at her for a moment like a wildbeast, began screaming, “ Off with her head !Off—”

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“ Nonsense !” said Alice, very loudly anddecidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, andtimidly said, “Consider, my dear : she is onlya child !”

The Queen turned angrily away from him,and said to the Knave, “ Turn them over !”

The Knave did so, very carefully, with onefoot.

“Get up !” said the Queen in a shrill, loudvoice, and the three gardeners instantly jumpedup, and began bowing to the King, the Queen,the royal children, and everybody else.

“Leave off that !” screamed the Queen. “Youmake me giddy.” And then, turning to therose-tree, she went on, “ What have you beendoing here?”

“May it please your Majesty,” said Two, ina very humble tone, going down on one kneeas he spoke, “we were trying—”

“ I see !” said the Queen, who had mean-while been examining the roses. “ Off with

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CROQUET-GROUND. 119

their heads !” and the procession moved on,three of the soldiers remaining behind to executethe unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice forprotection.

“ You shan’t be beheaded !” said Alice, andshe put them into a large flower-pot that stoodnear. The three soldiers wandered about fora minute or two, looking for them, and thenquietly marched off after the others.

“Are their heads off ?” shouted the Queen.

“ Their heads are gone, if it please yourMajesty !” the soldiers shouted in reply.

“ That ’s right !” shouted the Queen. “ Canyou play croquet?”

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice,as the question was evidently meant for her.

“Yes !” shouted Alice.

“ Come on then !” roared the Queen, andAlice joined the procession, wondering verymuch what would happen next.

“ It ’s—it ’s a very fine day !” said a timidvoice at her side. She was walking by the White

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Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

“Very,” said Alice :—“ where ’s the Duchess?”

“ Hush ! Hush !” said the Rabbit in a low,hurried tone. He looked anxiously over hisshoulder as he spoke, and then raised himselfupon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, andwhispered, “She ’s under sentence of execution.”

“What for ?” said Alice.

“Did you say ‘ What a pity !’ ?” the Rabbitasked.

“ No, I didn’t,” said Alice : “ I don’t thinkit ’s at all a pity. I said ‘What for ?’”

“She boxed the Queen’s ears—” the Rabbitbegan. Alice gave a little scream of laughter.

“Oh, hush !” the Rabbit whispered in a frightenedtone. “ The Queen will hear you ! You see shecame rather late, and the Queen said—”

“Get to your places !” shouted the Queen ina voice of thunder, and people began runningabout in all directions, tumbling up againsteach other : however, they got settled down ina minute or two, and the game began.

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Alice thought she had never seen such acurious croquet-ground in her life : it was allridges and furrows ; the croquet-balls were livehedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and

the soldiers had todouble themselves upand to stand on theirhands and feet, tomake the arches.

The chief diffi-culty Alice found atfirst was in managingher flamingo : shesucceeded in gettingits body tucked away,comfortably enough,under her arm, with

its legs hanging down, but generally, just as shehad got its neck nicely straightened out, andwas going to give the hedgehog a blow withits head, it would twist itself round and lookup into her face, with such a puzzled expres-

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sion that she could not help bursting out laugh-ing : and when she had got its head down, andwas going to begin again, it was very provokingto find that the hedgehog had unrolled itself,and was in the act of crawling away: besidesall this, there was generally a ridge or furrowin the way wherever she wanted to send thehedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers werealways getting up and walking off to other partsof the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusionthat it was a very difficult game indeed.

The players all played at once without wait-ing for turns, quarrelling all the while, andfighting for the hedgehogs ; and in a very shorttime the Queen was in a furious passion, andwent stamping about, and shouting, “ Off withhis head !” or “ Off with her head !” about oncein a minute.

Alice began to feel very uneasy : to be sure,she had not as yet had any dispute with theQueen, but she knew that it might happen anyminute, “and then,” thought she, “ what would

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become of me ? They ’re dreadfully fond ofbeheading people here : the great wonder is,that there ’s any one left alive !”

She was looking about for some way ofescape, and wondering whether she could getaway without being seen, when she noticed acurious appearance in the air : it puzzled hervery much at first, but after watching it aminute or two she made it out to be a grin,and she said to herself, “ It ’s the Cheshire Cat :now I shall have somebody to talk to.”

“ How are you getting on ?” said the Cat,as soon as there was mouth enough for it tospeak with.

Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and thennodded. “ It ’s no use speaking to it,” shethought, “ till its ears have come, or at leastone of them.” In another minute the wholehead appeared, and then Alice put down herflamingo, and began an account of the game,feeling very glad she had some one to listen toher. The Cat seemed to think that there was

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enough of it now in sight, and no more of itappeared.

“I don’t think they play at all fairly,” Alicebegan, in rather a complaining tone, “and theyall quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear one’s-selfspeak—and they don’t seem to have any rulesin particular ; at least, if there are, nobodyattends to them—and you ’ve no idea how con-fusing it is all the things being alive ; for in-stance, there ’s the arch I ’ve got to go throughnext walking about at the other end of theground—and I should have croqueted theQueen’s hedgehog just now, only it ran awaywhen it saw mine coming ! ”

“How do you like the Queen?” said the Catin a low voice.

“ Not at all,” said Alice : “ she ’s so ex-tremely—” Just then she noticed that theQueen was close behind her, listening : so shewent on “—likely to win, that it ’s hardly worthwhile finishing the game.”

The Queen smiled and passed on.

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“ Who are you talking to ?” said the King,coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat’shead with great curiosity.

“It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat,” saidAlice : “ allow me to introduce it.”

“I don ’t like the look of it at all,” said theKing : “ however, it may kiss my hand if itlikes.”

“I ’d rather not,” the Cat remarked.

“Don ’t be impertinent,” said the King, “ anddon ’t look at me like that !” He got behindAlice as he spoke.

“ A cat may look at a king,” said Alice.

“I ’ve read that in some book, but I don ’t re-member where.”

“Well, it must be removed,” said the Kingvery decidedly, and he called the Queen, whowas passing at the moment, “My dear ! I wishyou would have this cat removed !”

The Queen had only one way of settling alldifficulties, great or small. “ Off with his head !”she said without even looking round.

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“I ’ll fetch the executioner myself,” said theKing eagerly, and he hurried off.

Alice thought she might as well go back andsee how the game was going on, as she heardthe Queen’s voice in the distance, screamingwith passion. She had already heard her sen-tence three of the players to be executed forhaving missed their turns, and she did not likethe look of things at all, as the game was insuch confusion that she never knew whether itwas her turn or not. So she went off in searchof her hedgehog.

The hedgehog was engaged in a fight withanother hedgehog, which seemed to Alice anexcellent opportunity for croqueting one of themwith the other : the only difficulty was, thather flamingo was gone across to the other sideof the garden, where Alice could see it tryingin a helpless sort of way to fly up into a tree.

By the time she had caught the flamingoand brought it back, the fight was over, andboth the hedgehogs were out of sight : “ but it

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doesn’t matter much,” thought Alice, “ as all thearches are gone from this side of the ground.”So she tucked it away under her arm, that itmight not escape again, and went back to havea little more conversation with her friend.

When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, shewas surprised to find quite a large crowd col-lected round it : there was a dispute going onbetween the executioner, the King, and theQueen, who were all talking at once, while allthe rest were quite silent, and looked veryuncomfortable.

The moment Alice appeared, she was ap-pealed to by all three to settle the question,and they repeated their arguments to her,though, as they all spoke at once, she found itvery hard to make out exactly what they said.

The executioner’s argument was, that youcouldn ’t cut off a head unless there was a bodyto cut it off from: that he had never had todo such a thing before, and he wasn ’t going tobegin at his time of life.

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The King’s argument was, that anythingthat had a head could be beheaded, and thatyou weren ’t to talk nonsense.

The Queen’s argument was, that if some-thing wasn ’t done about it in less than no time,she ’d have everybody executed, all round. (It

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was this last remark that had made the wholeparty look so grave and anxious.)

Alice could think of nothing else to say but

“ It belongs to the Duchess : you ’d better askher about it.”

“ She ’s in prison,” the Queen said to theexecutioner : “ fetch her here.” And the execu-tioner went off like an arrow.

The Cat’s head began fading away themoment he was gone, and, by the time he hadcome back with the Duchess, it had entirelydisappeared : so the King and the executionerran wildly up and down looking for it, whilethe rest of the party went back to the game.

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CHAPTER IX.

THE MOCK TURTLE’S STORY.

“YOU can ’t think how glad I am to see youagain, you dear old thing !” said the Duchess,as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice’s,and they walked off together.

Alice was very glad to find her in such apleasant temper, and thought to herself thatperhaps it was only the pepper that had madeher so savage when they met in the kitchen.

“When I’m a Duchess,” she said to herself, (notin a very hopeful tone though), “ I won ’t haveany pepper in my kitchen at all. Soup does

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very well without—Maybe it ’s always pepperthat makes people hot-tempered,” she went on,very much pleased at having found out a newkind of rule, “ and vinegar that makes themsour—and camomile that makes them bitter—and—and barley-sugar and such things thatmake children sweet-tempered. I only wishpeople knew that : then they wouldn ’t be sostingy about it, you know—”

She had quite forgotten the Duchess by thistime, and was a little startled when she heardher voice close to her ear. “ You ’re thinkingabout something, my dear, and that makes youforget to talk. I can ’t tell you just now whatthe moral of that is, but I shall remember itin a bit.”

“ Perhaps it hasn ’t one,” Alice ventured toremark.

“Tut, tut, child !” said the Duchess. “ Every-thing ’s got a moral, if only you can find it.”And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’sside as she spoke.

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Alice did not much like keeping so closeto her : first, because the Duchess was veryugly, and secondly, because she was exactly the

right height torest her chin uponAlice’s shoulder,and it was an un-comfortably sharpchin. However,she did not liketo be rude, so shebore it as well asshe could.

“ The game ’sgoing on ratherbetter now,” shesaid, by way of

keeping up the conversation a little.

“ ’ Tis so,” said the Duchess : “ and the moralof that is—‘ Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makesthe world go round !’”

“Somebody said,” Alice whispered, “ that it’s

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done by everybody minding their own business !”

“Ah well ! It means much the same thing,”said the Duchess, digging her sharp little chininto Alice’s shoulder as she added, “ and themoral of that is—‘Take care of the sense, andthe sounds will take care of themselves.’ ”

“ How fond she is of finding morals inthings !” Alice thought to herself.

“ I daresay you ’re wondering why I don ’tput my arm round your waist,” said the Duchessafter a pause: “the reason is, that I’m doubt-ful about the temper of your flamingo. ShallI try the experiment ?”

“ He might bite,” Alice cautiously replied,not feeling at all anxious to have the experi-ment tried.

“Very true,” said the Duchess : “ flamingoesand mustard both bite. And the moral of thatis—‘ Birds of a feather flock together.’ ”

“Only mustard isn ’t a bird,” Alice remarked.

“Right, as usual,” said the Duchess : “whata clear way you have of putting things !”

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“It ’s a mineral, I think,” said Alice.

“ Of course it is,” said the Duchess, whoseemed ready to agree to everything that Alicesaid ; “ there ’s a large mustard-mine near here.And the moral of that is—‘ The more there isof mine, the less there is of yours.’ ”

“ Oh, I know !” exclaimed Alice, who hadnot attended to this last remark, “ it ’s a veget-able. It doesn ’t look like one, but it is.”

“I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess,

“and the moral of that is—‘ Be what you wouldseem to be’—or, if you ’d like it put moresimply—‘ Never imagine yourself not to beotherwise than what it might appear to othersthat what you were or might have been wasnot otherwise than what you had been wouldhave appeared to them to be otherwise.’ ”

“ I think I should understand that better,”Alice said very politely, “ if I had it writtendown: but I can ’t quite follow it as you say it.”

“ That ’s nothing to what I could say if Ichose,” the Duchess replied in a pleased tone.

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“Pray don ’t trouble yourself to say it anylonger than that,” said Alice.

“ Oh, don’t talk about trouble !” said theDuchess. “ I make you a present of every-thing I ’ve said as yet.”

“ A cheap sort of present !” thought Alice.

“ I ’m glad they don ’t give birthday presentslike that !” But she did not venture to say itout loud.

“Thinking again?” the Duchess asked, withanother dig of her sharp little chin.

“I ’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply,for she was beginning to feel a little worried.

“Just about as much right,” said the Duchess,

“as pigs have to fly : and the m—”But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the

Duchess’ voice died away, even in the middleof her favourite word ‘ moral,’ and the armthat was linked into hers began to tremble.Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen infront of them, with her arms folded, frowninglike a thunderstorm.

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“ A fine day, your Majesty !” the Duchessbegan in a low, weak voice.

“Now, I give you fair warning,” shouted theQueen, stamping on the ground as she spoke ;

“either you or your head must be off, and thatin about half no time ! Take your choice !”

The Duchess took her choice, and was gonein a moment.

“ Let ’s go on with the game,” the Queensaid to Alice, and Alice was too much frightenedto say a word, but slowly followed her back tothe croquet-ground.

The other guests had taken advantage ofthe Queen’s absence, and were resting in theshade : however, the moment they saw her, theyhurried back to the game, the Queen merelyremarking that a moment’s delay would costthem their lives.

All the time they were playing the Queennever left off quarrelling with the other players,and shouting “ Off with his head !” or “ Offwith her head !” Those whom she sentenced

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were taken into custody by the soldiers, whoof course had to leave off being arches to dothis, so that by the end of half an hour or sothere were no arches left, and all the players,except the King, the Queen, and Alice, werein custody, and under sentence of execution.

Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath,and said to Alice, “ Have you seen the MockTurtle yet?”

“No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know whata Mock Turtle is.”

“ It ’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is madefrom,” said the Queen.

“I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice.

“Come on, then,” said the Queen, “ and heshall tell you his history.”

As they walked off together, Alice heard theKing say in a low voice, to the company gener-ally, “ You are all pardoned.” “Come, that’s agood thing !” she said to herself, for she hadfelt quite unhappy at the number of executionsthe Queen had ordered.

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They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lyingfast asleep in the sun. (If you don’t know whata Gryphon is, look at the picture.) “Up, lazything !” said the Queen, “ and take this younglady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear hishistory. I must go back and see after someexecutions I have ordered ;” and she walked off,leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alicedid not quite like the look of the creature, buton the whole she thought it would be quite as

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safe to stay with it as to go after that savageQueen : so she waited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes :then it watched the Queen till she was out ofsight : then it chuckled. “What fun !” said theGryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

“What is the fun ?” said Alice.

“ Why, she,” said the Gryphon. “ It ’s allher fancy, that : they never executes nobody,you know. Come on !”

“Everybody says ‘come on !’ here,” thoughtAlice, as she went slowly after it : “ I never wasso ordered about before in all my life, never !”

They had not gone far before they saw theMock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad andlonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as theycame nearer, Alice could hear him sighing asif his heart would break. She pitied him deeply.

“What is his sorrow?” she asked the Gryphon,and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in thesame words as before, “It ’s all his fancy, that :he hasn’t got no sorrow, you know. Come on !”

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So they went up to the Mock Turtle, wholooked at them with large eyes full of tears,but said nothing.

“This here young lady,” said the Gryphon,

“she wants for to know your history, she do.”

“ I ’ll tell it her,” said the Mock Turtle ina deep, hollow tone : “ sit down, both of you,and don ’t speak a word till I ’ve finished.”

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for someminutes. Alice thought to herself, “ I don ’t seehow he can ever finish, if he doesn ’t begin.”But she waited patiently.

“Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, witha deep sigh, “I was a real Turtle.”

These words were followed by a very longsilence, broken only by an occasional exclama-tion of “Hjckrrh !” from the Gryphon, and theconstant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle.Alice was very nearly getting up and saying,

“ Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,”but she could not help thinking there must bemore to come, so she sat still and said nothing.

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“ When we were little,” the Mock Turtlewent on at last, more calmly, though still sob-bing a little now and then, “we went to schoolin the sea. The master was an old Turtle—we

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used to call him Tortoise—”

“Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn’tone?” Alice asked.

“We called him Tortoise because he taughtus,” said the Mock Turtle angrily ; “ really youare very dull !”

“ You ought to be ashamed of yourself forasking such a simple question,” added the Gry-phon ; and then they both sat silent and lookedat poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into theearth. At last the Gryphon said to the MockTurtle, “Drive on, old fellow ! Don’t be all dayabout it !” and he went on in these words.

“Yes, we went to school in the sea, thoughyou mayn ’t believe it—”

“I never said I didn ’t !” interrupted Alice.

“You did,” said the Mock Turtle.

“ Hold your tongue !” added the Gryphon,before Alice could speak again. The MockTurtle went on.

“We had the best of educations—in fact, wewent to school every day—”

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“I’ve been to a day-school too,” said Alice ;

“you needn ’t be so proud as all that.”

“ With extras ?” asked the Mock Turtle alittle anxiously.

“ Yes,” said Alice, “ we learned French andmusic.”

“And washing?” said the Mock Turtle.

“Certainly not !” said Alice indignantly.

“Ah! Then yours wasn ’t a really good school,”said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief,

“now at ours they had at the end of the bill,

‘ French, music, and washing—extra.’ ”

“You couldn ’t have wanted it much,” saidAlice ; “ living at the bottom of the sea.”

“I couldn ’t afford to learn it,” said the MockTurtle with a sigh. “ I only took the regularcourse.”

“What was that ?” enquired Alice.

“ Reeling and Writhing, of course, to beginwith,” the Mock Turtle replied : “and then thedifferent branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, Dis-traction, Uglification, and Derision.”

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“I never heard of ‘ Uglification,’ ” Alice ven-tured to say. “What is it ?”

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in sur-prise. “ Never heard of uglifying !” it exclaimed.

“You know what to beautify is, I suppose ?”

“ Yes,” said Alice, doubtfully : “ it means—to—make—anything—prettier.”

“Well then,” the Gryphon went on, “ if youdon ’t know what to uglify is, you are asimpleton.”

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask anymore questions about it, so she turned to theMock Turtle, and said “ What else had you tolearn?”

“Well, there was Mystery,” the Mock Turtlereplied, counting off the subjects on his flappers,—

“Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography:then Drawling—the Drawling-master was an oldconger-eel, that used to come once a week : hetaught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting inCoils.”

“What was that like?” said Alice.

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“ Well, I can ’t show it you myself,” theMock Turtle said : “ I ’m too stiff. And theGryphon never learnt it.”

“Hadn ’t time,” said the Gryphon : “ I wentto the Classical master, though. He was anold crab, he was.”

“ I never went to him,” the Mock Turtlesaid with a sigh : “ he taught Laughing andGrief, they used to say.”

“ So he did, so he did,” said the Gryphon,sighing in his turn, and both creatures hid theirfaces in their paws.

“ And how many hours a day did you dolessons?” said Alice, in a hurry to change thesubject.

“ Ten hours the first day,” said the MockTurtle : “nine the next, and so on.”

“What a curious plan !” exclaimed Alice.

“ That ’s the reason they ’re called lessons,”the Gryphon remarked : “ because they lessenfrom day to day.”

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and sheL

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thought it over a little before she made her nextremark. “ Then the eleventh day must havebeen a holiday ?”

“Of course it was,” said the Mock Turtle.

“And how did you manage on the twelfth ?”Alice went on eagerly.

“That ’s enough about lessons,” the Gryphoninterrupted in a very decided tone : “ tell hersomething about the games now.”

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CHAPTER X.

THE LOBSTER QUADRILLE.

THE Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drewthe back of one flapper across his eyes. Helooked at Alice and tried to speak, but for aminute or two sobs choked his voice. “ Sameas if he had a bone in his throat,” said theGryphon, and it set to work shaking himand punching him in the back. At last theMock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tearsrunning down his cheeks, he went on again :—

“ You may not have lived much under thesea—” (“ I haven ’t,” said Alice)—“and perhapsyou were never even introduced to a lobster—”

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(Alice began to say “ I once tasted—” butchecked herself hastily, and said, “No, never”)—

“so you can have no idea what a delightfulthing a Lobster Quadrille is !”

“No, indeed,” said Alice. “ What sort of adance is it ?”

“ Why,” said the Gryphon, “ you first forminto a line along the seashore—”

“Two lines !” cried the Mock Turtle. “ Seals,turtles, salmon, and so on : then, when you ’vecleared all the jelly-fish out of the way—”

“ That generally takes some time,” inter-rupted the Gryphon.

“—you advance twice—”

“Each with a lobster as a partner !” cried theGryphon.

“Of course,” the Mock Turtle said : “advancetwice, set to partners—”

“—change lobsters, and retire in same order,”continued the Gryphon.

“ Then, you know,” the Mock Turtle wenton, “you throw the—”

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“ The lobsters !” shouted the Gryphon, witha bound into the air.

“—as far out to sea as you can—”

“Swim after them !” screamed the Gryphon.

“ Turn a somersault in the sea !” cried theMock Turtle, capering wildly about.

“Change lobsters again !” yelled the Gryphonat the top of its voice.

“Back to land again, and—that’s all the firstfigure,” said the Mock Turtle, suddenly droppinghis voice, and the two creatures, who had beenjumping about like mad things all this time,sat down again very sadly and quietly, andlooked at Alice.

“It must be a very pretty dance,” said Alicetimidly.

“Would you like to see a little of it ?” saidthe Mock Turtle.

“Very much indeed,” said Alice.

“ Come, let ’s try the first figure !” said theMock Turtle to the Gryphon. “ We can do itwithout lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?”

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“ Oh, you sing,” said the Gryphon. “ I ’veforgotten the words.”

So they began solemnly dancing round andround Alice, every now and then treading onher toes when they passed too close, and wavingtheir fore-paws to mark the time, while theMock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly :—

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“ Will you walk a little faster ?” said a whiting to a snail,

“ There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on

my tail.

See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance !

They are waiting on the shingle—will you come and join

the dance ?

Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join

the dance ?

Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join

the dance ?

“ You can really have no notion how delightful it will be

When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out

to sea !”

But the snail replied “ Too far, too far !” and gave a look

askance—

Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join

the dance.

Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not

join the dance.

Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not

join the dance.

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“ What matters it how far we go ?” his scaly friend replied,

“ There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.

The further off from England the nearer is to France—

Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join

the dance ?

Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join

the dance ?”

“Thank you, it ’s a very interesting dance towatch,” said Alice, feeling very glad that it wasover at last ; “ and I do so like that curioussong about the whiting !”

“ Oh, as to the whiting,” said the MockTurtle, “ they—you’ve seen them, of course ?”

“Yes,” said Alice, “ I ’ve often seen them atdinn—” she checked herself hastily.

“ I don ’t know where Dinn may be,” saidthe Mock Turtle, “but if you ’ve seen them sooften, of course you know what they ’re like.”

“ I believe so,” Alice replied thoughtfully.

“ They have their tails in their mouths ;—and

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they ’re all over crumbs.”

“You ’re wrong about the crumbs,” said theMock Turtle : “ crumbs would all wash off inthe sea. But they have their tails in theirmouths ; and the reason is—” here the MockTurtle yawned and shut his eyes.—“ Tell herabout the reason and all that,” he said to theGryphon.

“ The reason is,” said the Gryphon, “ thatthey would go with the lobsters to the dance.So they got thrown out to sea. So they hadto fall a long way. So they got their tails fastin their mouths. So they couldn ’t get themout again. That ’s all.”

“Thank you,” said Alice, “ it’s very interest-ing. I never knew so much about a whitingbefore.”

“I can tell you more than that, if you like,”said the Gryphon. “ Do you know why it ’scalled a whiting ?”

“ I never thought about it,” said Alice.

“Why?”

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“ It does the boots and shoes,” the Gryphonreplied very solemnly.

Alice was thoroughly puzzled. “ Does theboots and shoes !” she repeated in a wonder-ing tone.

“ Why, what are your shoes done with ?”said the Gryphon. “I mean, what makes themso shiny?”

Alice looked down at them, and considereda little before she gave her answer. “ They ’redone with blacking, I believe.”

“Boots and shoes under the sea,” the Gry-phon went on in a deep voice, “ are done withwhiting. Now you know.”

“And what are they made of ?” Alice askedin a tone of great curiosity.

“ Soles and eels, of course,” the Gryphonreplied rather impatiently : “ any shrimp couldhave told you that.”

“If I ’d been the whiting,” said Alice, whosethoughts were still running on the song, “ I ’dhave said to the porpoise, ‘Keep back, please :

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we don ’t want you with us !’ ”

“They were obliged to have him with them,”the Mock Turtle said : “no wise fish would goanywhere without a porpoise.”

“ Wouldn ’t it really ?” said Alice in a toneof great surprise.

“ Of course not,” said the Mock Turtle :

“ why, if a fish came to me, and told me hewas going a journey, I should say ‘ With whatporpoise?’”

“Don ’t you mean ‘ purpose’ ?” said Alice.

“I mean what I say,” the Mock Turtle repliedin an offended tone. And the Gryphon added

“Come, let ’s hear some of your adventures.”

“I could tell you my adventures—beginningfrom this morning,” said Alice a little timidly :

“ but it ’s no use going back to yesterday,because I was a different person then.”

“Explain all that,” said the Mock Turtle.

“ No, no ! the adventures first,” said theGryphon in an impatient tone : “ explanationstake such a dreadful time.”

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So Alice began telling them her adventuresfrom the time when she first saw the WhiteRabbit : she was a little nervous about it just atfirst, the two creatures got so close to her, oneon each side, and opened their eyes and mouthsso very wide, but she gained courage as shewent on. Her listeners were perfectly quiettill she got to the part about her repeating

“ You are old, Father William,” to the Cater-pillar, and the words all coming different, andthen the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, andsaid, “ That ’s very curious.”

“It ’s all about as curious as it can be,” saidthe Gryphon.

“ It all came different !” the Mock Turtlerepeated thoughtfully. “ I should like to hearher try and repeat something now. Tell herto begin.” He looked at the Gryphon as if hethought it had some kind of authority overAlice.

“Stand up and repeat ‘ ’Tis the voice of thesluggard,’ ” said the Gryphon.

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“How the creaturesorder one about, andmake one repeat les-sons !” thought Alice,

“I might just as wellbe at school at once.”However, she got up,and began to repeatit, but her head wasso full of the Lob-ster-Quadrille, thatshe hardly knew whatshe was saying, andthe words came veryqueer indeed :—

“ ’Tis the voice of the lobster ; I heard him declare,

‘ You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.’

As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose

Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.”

“ That ’s different from what I used to saywhen I was a child,” said the Gryphon.

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“Well, I never heard it before,” said the MockTurtle ; “but it sounds uncommon nonsense.”

Alice said nothing : she had sat down againwith her face in her hands, wondering if any-thing would ever happen in a natural wayagain.

“I should like to have it explained,” said theMock Turtle.

“ She can ’t explain it,” said the Gryphonhastily. “ Go on with the next verse.”

“ But about his toes ?” the Mock Turtlepersisted. “ How could he turn them out withhis nose, you know ?”

“ It ’s the first position in dancing,” Alicesaid ; but she was dreadfully puzzled by thewhole thing, and longed to change the subject.

“Go on with the next verse,” the Gryphonrepeated impatiently : “ it begins ‘ I passed byhis garden.’ ”

Alice did not dare to disobey, though shefelt sure it would all come wrong, and she wenton in a trembling voice :—

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“ I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,

How the owl and the oyster were sharing a pie—”

“What is the use of repeating all that stuff,”the Mock Turtle interrupted, “ if you don’t explainit as you go on? It ’s by far the most confusingthing I ever heard !”

“Yes, I think you ’d better leave off,” saidthe Gryphon, and Alice was only too glad todo so.

“Shall we try another figure of the Lobster-Quadrille ?” the Gryphon went on. “ Or wouldyou like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song ?”

“ Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtlewould be so kind,” Alice replied, so eagerlythat the Gryphon said, in a rather offendedtone, “ Hm ! No accounting for tastes ! Singher ‘ Turtle Soup,’ will you, old fellow ?”

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began,in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to singthis :—

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“ Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,

Waiting in a hot tureen !

Who for such dainties would not stoop ?

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Beau—ootiful Soo—oop !

Beau—ootiful Soo—oop !

Soo—oop of the e—e—evening,

Beautiful, beautiful Soup !

“ Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,

Game, or any other dish ?

Who would not give all else for two p

ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup ?

Beau—ootiful Soo—oop !

Beau—ootiful Soo—oop !

Soo—oop of the e—e—evening,

Beautiful, beauti—FUL SOUP !”

“Chorus again !” cried the Gryphon, and theMock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when

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a cry of “ The trial ’s beginning !” was heard inthe distance.

“Come on !” cried the Gryphon, and, takingAlice by the hand, it hurried off, without wait-ing for the end of the song.

“What trial is it ?” Alice panted as she ran,but the Gryphon only answered “Come on !” andran the faster, while more and more faintlycame, carried on the breeze that followed them,the melancholy words :—

“ Soo—oop of the e—e—evening,

Beautiful, beautiful Soup!”

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CHAPTER XI.

WHO STOLE THE TARTS ?

THE King and Queen of Hearts were seatedon their throne when they arrived, with a greatcrowd assembled about them—all sorts of littlebirds and beasts, as well as the whole pack ofcards : the Knave was standing before them,in chains, with a soldier on each side to guardhim; and near the King was the White Rabbit,with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll ofparchment in the other. In the very middleof the court was a table, with a large dish of

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WHO STOLE THE TARTS ? 163

tarts upon it : they looked so good, that itmade Alice quite hungry to look at them—“Iwish they ’d get the trial done,” she thought,

“and hand round the refreshments !” But thereseemed to be no chance of this, so she beganlooking at everything about her to pass awaythe time.

Alice had never been in a court of justicebefore, but she had read about them in books,and she was quite pleased to find that she knewthe name of nearly everything there. “ That ’sthe judge,” she said to herself, “ because of hisgreat wig.”

The judge, by the way, was the King, andas he wore his crown over the wig, (look atthe frontispiece if you want to see how he didit,) he did not look at all comfortable, and itwas certainly not becoming.

“ And that ’s the jury-box,” thought Alice,

“and those twelve creatures,” (she was obligedto say “ creatures,” you see, because some ofthem were animals, and some were birds,) “ I

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suppose they are the jurors.” She said thislast word two or three times over to herselfbeing rather proud of it : for she thought, andrightly too, that very few little girls of her ageknew the meaning of it at all. However, “ jury-men” would have done just as well.

The twelve jurors were all writing verybusily on slates. “What are they doing?” Alicewhispered to the Gryphon. “They can’t haveanything to put down yet, before the trial ’sbegun.”

“ They ’re putting down their names,” theGryphon whispered in reply, “ for fear theyshould forget them before the end of the trial.”

“ Stupid things !” Alice began in a loudindignant voice, but she stopped herself hastily,for the White Rabbit cried out, “ Silence in thecourt !” and the King put on his spectacles andlooked anxiously round, to make out who wastalking.

Alice could see, as well as if she were look-ing over their shoulders, that all the jurors were

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writing down “ stupid things !” on their slates,and she could even make out that one of themdidn’t know how to spell “ stupid,” and that hehad to ask his neighbour to tell him. “A nicemuddle their slates ’ll be in before the trial ’sover !” thought Alice.

One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked.This of course, Alice could not stand, and shewent round the court and got behind him, andvery soon found an opportunity of taking itaway. She did it so quickly that the poorlittle juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could notmake out at all what had become of it ; so,after hunting all about for it, he was obligedto write with one finger for the rest of theday ; and this was of very little use, as it leftno mark on the slate.

“ Herald, read the accusation !” said theKing.

On this the White Rabbit blew three blastson the trumpet, and then unrolled the parch-ment scroll, and read as follows :—

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“ The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,

All on a summer day :

The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,

And took them quite away !”

“ Consider your verdict,” the King said tothe jury.

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“ Not yet, not yet !” the Rabbit hastily in-terrupted. “ There ’s a great deal to come beforethat !”

“Call the first witness,” said the King ; andthe White Rabbit blew three blasts on thetrumpet, and called out, “ First witness !”

The first witness was the Hatter. He camein with a teacup in one hand, and a piece ofbread-and-butter in the other. “I beg pardon,your Majesty,” he began, “ for bringing thesein : but I hadn’t quite finished my tea whenI was sent for.”

“You ought to have finished,” said the King.

“When did you begin ?”The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who

had followed him into the court, arm-in-armwith the Dormouse. “ Fourteenth of March, Ithink it was,” he said.

“Fifteenth,” said the March Hare.

“Sixteenth,” added the Dormouse.

“ Write that down,” the King said to thejury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three

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dates on their slates, and then added them up,and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

“Take off your hat,” the King said to theHatter.

“It isn’t mine,” said the Hatter.

“ Stolen !” the King exclaimed, turning tothe jury, who instantly made a memorandumof the fact.

“I keep them to sell,” the Hatter added asan explanation : “ I ’ve none of my own. I ’ma hatter.”

Here the Queen put on her spectacles, andbegan staring at the Hatter, who turnedpale and fidgeted.

“Give your evidence,” said the King ; “ anddon’t be nervous, or I’ll have you executed onthe spot.”

This did not seem to encourage the witnessat all : he kept shifting from one foot to theother, looking uneasily at the Queen, and inhis confusion he bit a large piece out of histeacup instead of the bread-and-butter.

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Just at this moment Alice felt a very curioussensation, which puzzled her a good deal untilshe made out what it was : she was beginningto grow larger again, and she thought at firstshe would get up and leave the court ; but onsecond thoughts she decided to remain whereshe was as long as there was room for her.

“I wish you wouldn’t squeeze so,” said theDormouse, who was sitting next to her. “ I canhardly breathe.”

“ I can’t help it,” said Alice very meekly :

“I’m growing.”

“ You ’ve no right to grow here,” said theDormouse.

“ Don’t talk nonsense,” said Alice moreboldly: “ you know you ’re growing too.”

“Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,” saidthe Dormouse : “not in that ridiculous fashion.”And he got up very sulkily and crossed overto the other side of the court.

All this time the Queen had never left offstaring at the Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse

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crossed the court, she said to one of the officersof the court, “Bring me the list of the singers inthe last concert !” on which the wretched Hatter

trembled so, that heshook both his shoesoff.

“ Give your evi-dence,” the King re-peated angrily, “orI ’ll have you execu-ted, whether you ’renervous or not.”

“I’m a poor man,your Majesty,” theHatter began ina trembling voice,

“ and I hadn’t but just begun my tea—notabove a week or so—and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin—and the twinklingof the tea——”

“The twinkling of what ?” said the King.

“It began with the tea,” the Hatter replied.

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“Of course twinkling begins with a T !” saidthe King sharply. “ Do you take me for adunce? Go on !”

“I ’m a poor man,” the Hatter went on, “ andmost things twinkled after that—only the MarchHare said——”

“ I didn’t !” the March Hare interrupted ina great hurry.

“You did !” said the Hatter.

“I deny it !” said the March Hare.

“ He denies it,” said the King : “ leave outthat part.”

“Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said—” theHatter went on, looking anxiously round to seeif he would deny it too : but the Dormousedenied nothing, being fast asleep.

“ After that,” continued the Hatter, “ I cutsome more bread-and-butter——”

“But what did the Dormouse say?” one ofthe jury asked.

“That I can’t remember,” said the Hatter.

“ You must remember,” remarked the King,

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“or I ’ll have you executed.”The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and

bread-and-butter, and went down on one knee.

“I ’m a poor man, your Majesty,” he began.

“ You ’re a very poor speaker,” said theKing.

Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and wasimmediately suppressed by the officers of thecourt. (As that is rather a hard word, I willjust explain to you how it was done. They hada large canvass bag, which tied up at the mouthwith strings : into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon it.)

“ I ’m glad I ’ve seen that done,” thoughtAlice. “I ’ve so often read in the newspapers,at the end of trials, ‘ There was some attemptat applause, which was immediately suppressedby the officers of the court,’ and I never under-stood what it meant till now.”

“If that ’s all you know about it, you maystand down,” continued the King.

“I can’t go no lower,” said the Hatter : “ I ’m

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on the floor, as it is.”

“Then you may sit down,” the King replied.Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was

suppressed.

“Come, that finished the guinea-pigs !” thoughtAlice. “ Now we shall get on better.”

“I ’d rather finish my tea,” said the Hatter,with an anxious look at the Queen, who wasreading the list of singers.

“ You may go,” said the King, and theHatter hurriedly left the court, without evenwaiting to put his shoes on.

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“——and just take his head off outside,” theQueen added to one of the officers ; but theHatter was out of sight before the officer couldget to the door.

“Call the next witness !” said the King.The next witness was the Duchess’ cook.

She carried the pepper-box in her hand, andAlice guessed who it was, even before she gotinto the court, by the way the people near thedoor began sneezing all at once.

“Give your evidence,” said the King.

“Shan ’t,” said the cook.The King looked anxiously at the White

Rabbit, who said in a low voice, “Your Majestymust cross-examine this witness.”

“ Well, if I must, I must,” the King saidwith a melancholy air, and, after folding hisarms and frowning at the cook till his eyeswere nearly out of sight, he said in a deepvoice, “ What are tarts made of ?”

“Pepper, mostly,” said the cook.

“Treacle,” said a sleepy voice behind her.

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“Collar that Dormouse!” the Queen shriekedout. “ Behead that Dormouse ! Turn that Dor-mouse out of court ! Suppress him! Pinch him!Off with his whiskers !”

For some minutes the whole court was inconfusion, getting the Dormouse turned out, and,by the time they had settled down again, thecook had disappeared.

“ Never mind !” said the King, with an airof great relief. “ Call the next witness.” Andhe added in an undertone to the Queen,

“Really, my dear, you must cross-examine thenext witness. It quite makes my forehead ache !”

Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbledover the list, feeling very curious to see whatthe next witness would be like, “ —for theyhaven’t got much evidence yet,” she said toherself. Imagine her surprise, when the WhiteRabbit read out, at the top of his shrill littlevoice, the name “ Alice !”

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CHAPTER XII.

ALICE’S EVIDENCE.

“HERE !” cried Alice, quite forgetting in theflurry of the moment how large she had grownin the last few minutes, and she jumped up insuch a hurry that she tipped over the jury-boxwith the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jury-men on to the heads of the crowd below, andthere they lay sprawling about, reminding hervery much of a globe of gold-fish she hadaccidentally upset the week before.

“Oh, I beg your pardon !” she exclaimed ina tone of great dismay, and began picking themup again as quickly as she could, for the acci-

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ALICE’S EVIDENCE 177

dent of the gold-fish kept running in her head,and she had a vague sort of idea that theymust be collected at once and put back into thejury-box, or they would die.

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“The trial cannot proceed,” said the King ina very grave voice, “until all the jurymen areback in their proper places—all,” he repeatedwith great emphasis, looking hard at Alice ashe said so.

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that,in her haste, she had put the Lizard in headdownwards, and the poor little thing waswaving its tail about in a melancholy way,being quite unable to move. She soon got itout again, and put it right ; “ not that it signifiesmuch,” she said to herself ; “ I should think itwould be quite as much use in the trial oneway up as the other.”

As soon as the jury had a little recoveredfrom the shock of being upset, and their slatesand pencils had been found and handed backto them, they set to work very diligently towrite out a history of the accident, all exceptthe Lizard, who seemed too much overcome todo anything but sit with its mouth open, gaz-ing up into the roof of the court.

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“ What do you know about this business?”the King said to Alice.

“Nothing,” said Alice.

“Nothing whatever ?” persisted the King.

“Nothing whatever,” said Alice.

“That ’s very important,” the King said, turn-ing to the jury. They were just beginning towrite this down on their slates, when the WhiteRabbit interrupted : “Unimportant, your Majestymeans, of course,” he said in a very respectfultone, but frowning and making faces at him ashe spoke.

“Unimportant, of course, I meant,” the Kinghastily said, and went on to himself in an under-tone, “ important—unimportant—unimportant—important——” as if he were trying which wordsounded best.

Some of the jury wrote it down “ important,”and some “ unimportant.” Alice could see this,as she was near enough to look over theirslates; “but it doesn’t matter a bit,” she thoughtto herself.

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At this moment the King, who had been forsome time busily writing in his note-book, calledout “ Silence !” and read out from his book,

“ Rule Forty-two. All persons more than amile high to leave the court.”

Everybody looked at Alice.

“I’m not a mile high,” said Alice.

“You are,” said the King.

“Nearly two miles high,” added the Queen.

“Well, I shan’t go, at any rate,” said Alice ;

“besides, that ’s not a regular rule : you inventedit just now.”

“It ’s the oldest rule in the book,” said theKing.

“Then it ought to be Number One,” said Alice.The King turned pale, and shut his note-

book hastily. “Consider your verdict,” he said tothe jury, in a low trembling voice.

“There ’s more evidence to come yet, pleaseyour Majesty,” said the White Rabbit, jumpingup in a great hurry ; “ this paper has just beenpicked up.”

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“What ’s in it ?” said the Queen.

“ I haven’t opened it yet,” said the WhiteRabbit, “ but it seems to be a letter, written bythe prisoner to—to somebody.”

“ It must have been that,” said the King,

“ unless it was written to nobody, which isn’tusual, you know.”

“ Who is it directed to ?” said one of thejurymen.

“ It isn’t directed at all,” said the WhiteRabbit ; “ in fact, there ’s nothing written on theoutside.” He unfolded the paper as he spoke,and added, “ It isn ’t a letter, after all : it ’s aset of verses.”

“ Are they in the prisoner’s handwriting ?”asked another of the jurymen.

“ No, they ’re not,” said the White Rabbit,

“and that ’s the queerest thing about it.” (Thejury all looked puzzled.)

“ He must have imitated somebody else’shand,” said the King. (The jury all brightenedup again.)

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“ Please your Majesty,” said the Knave,

“I didn’t write it, and they can’t prove I did :there ’s no name signed at the end.”

“If you didn’t sign it,” said the King, “ thatonly makes the matter worse. You must havemeant some mischief, or else you ’d have signedyour name like an honest man.”

There was a general clapping of hands atthis : it was the first really clever thing theKing had said that day.

“That proves his guilt,” said the Queen.

“ It proves nothing of the sort !” saidAlice. “ Why, you don’t even know what they’reabout !”

“Read them,” said the King.The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.

“ Where shall I begin, please your Majesty ?”he asked.

“ Begin at the beginning,” the King said,gravely, “ and go on till you come to the end :then stop.”

These were the verses the White Rabbit read:—

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“ They told me you had been to her,

And mentioned me to him:

She gave me a good character,

But said I could not swim.

He sent them word I had not gone

(We know it to be true) :

If she should push the matter on,

What would become of you ?

I gave her one, they gave him two,

You gave us three or more ;

They all returned from him to you,

Though they were mine before.

If I or she should chance to be

Involved in this affair,

He trusts to you to set them free,

Exactly as we were.

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My notion was that you had been

(Before she had this fit)

An obstacle that came between

Him, and ourselves, and it.

Don’t let him know she liked them best,

For this must ever be

A secret, kept from all the rest,

Between yourself and me.”

“That’s the most important piece of evidencewe ’ve heard yet,” said the King, rubbing hishands ; “ so now let the jury——”

“ If any one of them can explain it,” saidAlice, (she had grown so large in the last fewminutes that she wasn’t a bit afraid of interrupt-ing him,) “ I’ll give him sixpence. I don’tbelieve there ’s an atom of meaning in it.”

The jury all wrote down on their slates,

“She doesn’t believe there ’s an atom of meaning

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in it,” but none of them attempted to explainthe paper.

“ If there ’s no meaning in it,” said theKing, “ that saves a world of trouble, youknow, as we needn’t try to find any. Andyet I don ’t know,” he went on, spreadingout the verses on his knee, and looking at themwith one eye ; “ I seem to see some meaning inthem, after all. ‘ —said I could not swim—’you can ’t swim, can you?” he added, turningto the Knave.

The Knave shook his head sadly. “ Do Ilook like it ?” he said. (Which he certainlydid not, being made entirely of cardboard.)

“ All right, so far,” said the King, and hewent on muttering over the verses to himself :

“ ‘ We know it to be true—’ that ’s the jury, ofcourse— ‘ I gave her one, they gave him two—’why, that must be what he did with the tarts,you know—”

“ But, it goes on ‘ they all returned fromhim to you,’ ” said Alice.

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ing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke.(The unfortunate little Bill had left off writingon his slate with one finger, as he found it made

“ Why, there theyare !” said the Kingtriumphantly, pointingto the tarts on thetable. “ Nothing can beclearer than that. Thenagain—‘ before she hadthis fit—’ you neverhad fits, my dear, Ithink ?” he said to theQueen.

“ Never !” said theQueen furiously, throw-

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no mark ; but he now hastily began again, usingthe ink, that was trickling down his face, aslong as it lasted.)

“ Then the words don ’t fit you,” said theKing, looking round the court with a smile.There was a dead silence.

“It ’s a pun !” the King added in an angrytone, and everybody laughed. “ Let the juryconsider their verdict,” the King said, for aboutthe twentieth time that day.

“No, no !” said the Queen. “Sentence first—verdict afterwards.”

“Stuff and nonsense !” said Alice loudly. “ Theidea of having the sentence first !”

“Hold your tongue !” said the Queen, turn-ing purple.

“I won’t !” said Alice.

“Off with her head !” the Queen shouted atthe top of her voice. Nobody moved.

“ Who cares for you ?” said Alice, (she hadgrown to her full size by this time.) “ You’renothing but a pack of cards !”

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At this the whole pack rose up into the air,and came flying down upon her ; she gave a

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little scream, half of fright and half of anger,and tried to beat them off, and found herselflying on the bank, with her head in the lap ofher sister, who was gently brushing away somedead leaves that had fluttered down from thetrees upon her face.

“ Wake up, Alice dear !” said her sister ;

“Why, what a long sleep you ’ve had !”

“Oh, I ’ve had such a curious dream !” saidAlice, and she told her sister, as well as shecould remember them, all these strange Ad-ventures of hers that you have just been read-ing about ; and when she had finished, her sis-ter kissed her, and said, “ It was a curiousdream, dear, certainly : but now run in to yourtea ; it ’s getting late.” So Alice got up andran off, thinking while she ran, as well shemight, what a wonderful dream it had been.

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The long grass rustled at her feet as theWhite Rabbit hurried by—the frightened Mousesplashed his way through the neighbouring pool—she could hear the rattle of the teacups asthe March Hare and his friends shared theirnever-ending meal, and the shrill voice of theQueen ordering off her unfortunate guests toexecution—once more the pig-baby was sneezingon the Duchess’ knee, while plates and dishescrashed around it—once more the shriek of theGryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard’s slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distantsobs of the miseralbe Mock Turtle.

So she sat on, with closed eyes, and halfbelieved herself in Wonderland, though sheknew she had but to open them again and allwould change to dull reality—the grass wouldbe only rustling in the wind, and the pool rip-pling to the waving of the reeds—the rattlingteacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells,and the Queen’s shrill cries to the voice of the

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But her sister sat still just as she left her,leaning her head on her hand, watching thesetting sun, and thinking of little Alice and allher wonderful Adventures, till she too begandreaming after a fashion, and this was herdream:—

First, she dreamed of little Alice herself :—once again the tiny hands were clasped uponher knee, and the bright eager eyes were look-ing up into hers—she could hear the very tonesof her voice, and see that queer little toss ofher head, to keep back the wandering hair thatwould always get into her eyes—and still asshe listened, or seemed to listen, the wholeplace around her became alive with the strangecreatures of her little sister’s dream.

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shepherd boy—and the sneeze of the baby, theshriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queernoises, would change (she knew) to the con-fused clamour of the busy farm-yard—while thelowing of the cattle in the distance would takethe place of the Mock Turtle’s heavy sobs.

Lastly, she pictured to herself how this samelittle sister of hers would, in the after-time, beherself a grown woman ; and how she wouldkeep, through all her riper years, the simple andloving heart of her childhood : and how shewould gather about her other little children, andmake their eyes bright and eager with many astrange tale, perhaps even with the dream ofWonderland of long-ago : and how she wouldfeel with all their simple sorrows, and find apleasure in all their simple joys, rememberingher own child-life, and the happy summer days.

THE END.

(6)

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This first true typographically accurate replica of theoriginal Macmillan edition was produced in Chicago bythe staff of VolumeOne. Type was set exclusively inMonotype Modern with only slight adjustments to the set.Monotype Modern, known in metal as Modern Extended,was originally adapted from 19th century types designedby British foundry Miller & Richard. It represents notonly the nearest known PostScript match to the originaltype used for this book, but also is probably the onlytruly authoritative example of the standard Englishmodern to survive to PostScript.

Generous help was rendered by Paul Gehl and thestaff of the Newberry Library, Chicago, which possessesone of the world’s 19 remaining first issues of the book,along with many other important book arts resources.Additional help was given by Bill Davis and the MonotypeTypography staff, Gerald Giampa of Lanston TypeFoundry, Freda Sack and David Quay of London, andWilliam Sosin Design.

This book is also unique in that it is the first classicwork available for instant distribute-and-print publicationacross the Internet. The book can be requested, transmittedin its entirety over the Internet, printed and bound inless than 15 minutes. Visit www.volumeone.net for details.

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The BookVirtual edition

This BookVirtual edition of Alice in Wonderland isnot only absolutely true to the typesetting of the originalMacmillan edition, but uses the same VolumeOne digitalfiles as its 1998 replica. In this sense we are true tothe first digital edition, too.

We are proud to work with VolumeOne in producingthis edition. More details on the efforts of BookVirtualCorporation can be found at www.bookvirtual.com.

Patrick AmesNovember, 2000

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