Ages & Stages_ How Children Develop Self-Concept _ Scholastic

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Stage by Stage 0 - 2

Babies need loving and

consistent relationships to

develop a posi tive sen se of self .

Tuning i n to babies'

preferences helps them develop

a sense of self that is

compatibl e with their in nate

characteristics.

Gentle but firm li mits help

toddlers feel secu re.

Two-year-olds' emerging

lang uage propels their sense of

self. "Me do" becomes th eir

mantra.


Threes and fours h ave the

ability to see themselves as

separate and unique

individuals.

The self-images of young

children tend to be descriptive,

rather than judgmental.

Increasingly independent,

preschoolers a re intri gued by

the new things they can do.


Fives and sixes are

transitioning from the "me"

stage to the "us" stage,

becom in g a wa re of th e nee ds

and i nterests of the g roup.

artners are n ow able to use

word s to comm u ni ca te th ei r

needs and feelings.

Five- and six-year-olds use thepower of the word no to help

define themselves within the

group setting.

P ri nt Share

2

Ages & Stages: How Children Develop Self-

Concept

Being sensitive and responsive to individual needs supportschildren's growing sense of self

By Carla Poole, Susan A. Miller, EdD, and Ellen Booth Church

Grades: Early Childhood, PreKK

0 to 2 "I'M ME!"by Carla Poole

Babies create a sense of self within loving relationships. Each baby is

a unique blend of innate characteristics. Some babies are eas ily

soothed, while others are more particular about what soothes them.

Each teacher is also unique, responding to babies with their own

characteristics and experiences. Caring for a baby is a joining

together of two individuals who are sea rching to make a deep

emotional connection.

Tuning in to Babies

Slow down and tune in to babies . Look for the baby'sresponses to

different sounds, sights, and textures. This will help you understand

the baby and his way of adapting to his environment. It helps him feel

secure and begins hi s lifelong process of the development of self.

Learning About One Another

Just as you get to know a baby, the baby gets to know you. They are

very good at reading facial expressions . At around 2 months, babies

offer a "social sm ile," the first social respons e to others. Their budding

self is affirmed when you smile back. This makes babies feel good-

When 1 smile, you smile with me!

Blossoming Personalities

During his first year of consis tent, loving relationsh ips, a baby'sbehavior becomes more organized, and he communicates more

clearly. A 9-month-old might vocalize as he reaches toward you to be

picked up, or he might initiate a game of peekaboo. Responding to

these requests helps a baby's sense of self blossom.

Exploring Their World

During the second year of life, toddlers form a s ense of "I'm me! I can

do it!" Their secure sense of self, of being loved in a s pecial way by

special people, fuels their self-directed explorations. Young toddlers

need lots of opportunities to initiate and direct their own activities.

Becoming Self-Conscious

Another important shift occurs at around 18 months, when the toddler

becomes self-conscious for the first time. Twenty-month-old Kayla, for

example, m anages to un latch the cupboard door to the diapering

supplies . As s he reaches i nto this forbidden territory, she glances

over her shou lder, looking for her teacher. She is conscious of her

teacher's reactions to her behavior. Toddlers are es pecially sensitive

during this pe riod and can feel s hamed if they receive harsh criticism.

Encourage toddlers' independence, curiosity, and exploration, while

setting reasonable boundaries for their behavior. You can tell Kayla that she can't have the extra diapers , but

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she can open up another door that holds som e stuffed animals o r toys.

Emerging Language Skills

Two-year-olds' emerging language s kills help them express themselves. Their mantra becomes "Me do! Not

you!" Their feelings are s trong, and their sense of self is s till fragile, so they need to asse rt thems elves and

protest limits. Your role is to remain calm and to help them adapt to the demands of daily life. Consistency in

limit s etting is helpful, but it is also important to remain flexible. Try to build a partnership with each toddler.

This way, the lim its you set are reass uring, but don't squelch the toddler's sens e of self.

Responding to Preferences

Helping babies create a positive sens e of self requires a delicate balance between aiding them in

developing in ways that are compatible with their innate qualities and helping them function in their socialworld. Respect for their individuality, their sens e of s elf, helps bu ild the s elf-confidence they need for the

lifelong process of learning.

3 to 4 "I CAN PUMP HIGH!" by Susan A. Miller, Ed.D

With a broad s mile on his face, 4-year-old Aaron directs his teacher, Mrs. Gehringen "Watch how I pump the

swing!" Proudly demonstrating his exciting new skill, he joyfully chants, "I'll fly so high, I'll reach the sky. I

won't come back until the Fourth of July!" Mrs. Gehringer gives him two thumbs up and responds , "Great

swinging, Aaron!" Aaron pumps the swing higher, his s elf-esteem soaring.

A Growing Self-image

In the dramatic-play center, Becca asks a new class mate, "Who are you?" The new girl eagerly responds , "I

am Ella. I am 3. I have a baby sister. And look, I have a baby doll, too." Feeling au tonomous, pres choolers

like Aaron and Ella s ee themselves as separate and unique individuals. They define themselves in concrete

terms. Included in this internal picture of the image that preschoolers have of themse lves are s uch things as

their physical attributes, names, ages, genders , social affiliations, posses sions , and abilities. A youngchild's self-image tends to be des criptive, rather than judgmental.

The Image-Esteem Connection

How preschoolers feel about these characteristics relates to their self-esteem. For example, Aaron acquires

a feeling of self-worth as a result of his i nteractions with others who are im portant to him, such as his

teacher, who gave him imm ediate positive verbal and visual reinforcement about his swinging skills .

Although forming one's s elf-concept is a lifelong proces s, how the child feels about him sel f in the early years

(positive or negative) can s et a pattern for the rest of his life.

A Critical Iime tor Success

Because threes and fours are growing s o fast and developing in every way as they learn new skills and

sharpen old ones, the preschool years are a critical time for successful experiences. Children need to be

able to absorb information abou t how others respond to them in order to confirm how they feel about

themselves.

Becoming m ore independent, preschoolers are intrigued by what they can do. For instance, exhibiting greatly

increased fine-mus cle control, preschoolers confidently execute tasks they will need to perform throughout

their lives. Four-year-old Kennedy enthusiastically holds his pencil jus t like his teacher does while they draw

and "write" a story together about bugs . With great self-satisfaction, 3-year-old Esther s parkles when she i s

complimented by her mom for copying a pattern of colored circles with her crayons.

Three-year-old Luis feels good about hims elf when he shows off his intellectual abilities, counting out juice

cups, "one, two, three," and passing one to each child at his s nack table. And with an as tounding vocabulary

of more than 4,000 words , 4-year-old Julie feels pleased when her buddy Kit acknowledges her well-told,

funny story about her cat named Tutu.

5 to 6 WILL THEY LIKE ME?"Ellen Booth Church

As the children com e through the kindergarten door, som e bound in, while others hang back. All are

experiencing their first taste of going to the "big s chool," with all the accompanying thoughts and feelings

related to defining themselves in this new s etting.

Facing New Challenges

Traditionally, the beginning of the year is a time to focus on children's developing s elf-concept. Some 5- and

6-year-olds have participated in groups of other children before, but the world of kindergarten is a much

bigger pond to swim in! One of the greatest challenges new kindergarten students face is the development

of a strong and posi tive sens e of self in a "big s chool" setting. It is not unusual for a normally confident child

to experience some insecurity. The child may have difficulty separating. He may watch rather than participate,

or he may be demanding of attention. The unspoken questions i n his behavior might be s aying, Who am I in

this big group of kids? How do I fit in? How will I get my needs m et?

Transitioning from "Me" to "Us"

It is helpful to unders tand the developmental viewpoint of a 5- or 6-year-old in order to ass ist him in

developing a good sens e of self within the new group at school and in the family. They are transitioning out

of the egocentric "me" stage, to a s tage in which they have a g reater understanding of the "me" within the

"us." It is not always an easy transition. Children can vacillate between having patience and understanding

the needs of the group, to wanting their own needs met-now! Adults mus t help children see how their needs

will be met within an appropriate time frame. One way to do this is to play turn-taking and transition games .

These s how children that waiting can be a fun activity.

Becoming Communicators
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Subjects:Child Development and Behavior, Pride and Self-Esteem, Understanding Self and

Others

One of the greatest developing skills a kindergartner has is his abil ity to communicate. Language in

kindergartners has grown beyond bas ic verbal skills , to include the ability to communicate feelings and

needs. This is an important part of self-concept. And this is exactly the time to encourage language. Five-

and si x-year-olds often need to "talk out" their feelings and problem s. Be sure to al low the time and space for

these discussions, both in small and large groups.

Defining Themselves Within the Group

Children at this s tage want to let you know what they need-even if this includes saying no to som ething that

doesn't suit them. At this time of year, don't be surprised if children s ay no to participating in s ome group

activities. They are using the power of no to help them define thems elves within the group, and to take the

time to see where they fit in.

Developing Self-Respect

At the core of all these behaviors is the development of self-respect. While s elf-concept is about "who I am,"

self-respect is m ore about "how I take care of myself." A strong sens e of self allows children to be able to

speak up if they think som ething is not fair, if they are being ignored, or even if they don't feel well . The key

word is respect. As their s elf-concepts grow to include s elf-respect, children learn that what is fair for them

also has to be fair for those around them . This is when and how a child learns that he is not a lonely fish in

the big pool. He sees that he is actually one of many different fish that work together to create a

harmonious ly flowing sea of friends.

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Ages & Stages_ How Children Develop Self-Concept _ Scholastic

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Transcript of Ages & Stages_ How Children Develop Self-Concept _ Scholastic