ACTIVE LISTENING

© EDG 2010

Effective / Active ListeningLis-ten-ing n. the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and / or nonverbal messages

© EDG 2010

Overview

Definitions •

Barriers and Bad habits •

4 Key Steps •

Tips for Active listening Skills •

Methods to test understanding •

Summary •

I like to listen.

I have learned a great deal

from listening carefully.

Most people never listen.

Ernest Hemingway

© EDG 2010

Communication – Why we need to be better Listeners

Mode of Communication

Formal Yearsof Training

Percentage of Time Used

Writing 12 years 9%

Reading 6-8 years 16 %

Speaking 1-2 years 30%

Listening 0-few hours 45%

• We listen at 125 - 250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm

• 75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful

• 20% of the time, we remember what we hear

• More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success

• Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

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Definitions

• Effective Listening is listening to the words of the speaker and the meaning of the words.

• Active Listening - the listener takes active responsibility to understand the content and feeling of what is being said and then checks with the speaker to see if he/she heard and understood what the speaker intended to communicate.

“If I listen, I have the advantage; if I speak, others have it.”

Arabic Proverb

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Barriers and bad habits to Effective/Active Listening

• Not being able to hear (or see) the

speaker

• Access to Speaker – Remote

Location

• Language or cultural differences

• Other People – speaking, questions,

• Physical Barriers

• Distractions / Triggers

• Mental Barriers

• Bad habits

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• Electronic - phones, Blackberry,

computers, TV, Radio, Music

• Human – other people’s body language,

conversations, questions, arrivals,

departures, etc

• Physical – noise, environmental

incidents



• Mental Barriers

• Bad habits

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• Mental Barriers

• Bad habits

• Assumptions - about the speaker,

subject, debate

• Personal Bias / Issues

• Emotions – strong positive (enthusiasm,

sympathy, desire) or negative response

(frustration, irritation, anger, revulsion,

shame) to the topic, argument, speaker,

environment

• Critique – of delivery, content, speaker

• Processing Information – not listening

• Mental Break – Daydreaming , focus on

other issues

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• Mental Barriers

• Bad habits

• Lack of Interest

• Prejudice or Closed Mind• Criticizing the subject or the speaker

• Listening only for facts

• Not taking notes

• Tolerating or creating distractions

• Letting emotional or Trigger words block

the message being given

• Wasting time difference between speed

of speech and speed of thought

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4 Key Steps in Effective/Active Listening

1. Intention: be ready and open to Listen both verbally and visually

2. Focus on the Speaker and the Discussion

3. Encourage the Speaker by using Verbal and Visual Encouragers

4. Offer Feedback to clarify and complete the Feedback Loop to ensure accuracy of understanding

© EDG 2010

Tips to develop your Active Listening Skills• Focus on the person speaking instead of

your own reactions.

• Empathize with the Speaker – imagine you are in their shoes delivering the speech trying to be heard

• Silently repeat to yourself what you hear them saying (not aloud).

• Listen with all your senses (even your gut!)

• Be mindful of the points the Speaker and others are making, withhold judgment and avoid making the speaker “right” or “wrong”.

• If you disagree with the speaker or even find it difficult to relate, try thinking of some common interests, values or reasons for the need to collaborate.

• Get involved and engage in the discussion.

• Respond to questions actively to show your interest.

• Let the speaker’s argument or conversation come to completion.

• Remember only the person’s opinions and perceptions are the reality of any discussion.

• Use Visual Encouragers - Lean forward, or nod to offer encouragement and show your interest, facial expressions to show you are hearing. Smile, move an eyebrow, look surprised or puzzled. You have 15 muscles in your face for expressions. Use them.

• Summarize what you hear.

• Don’t look bored when someone else is. Tapping fingers, humming to music, rolling eyes, fidgeting, are all nonverbal forms of communications.

• Ask clarifying questions

© EDG 2010

Methods to Improve Your Understanding

1. Listen

2. Questions

3. Reflect-Paraphrase

– Parroting

– Paraphrasing

– Clarifying

4. Agree

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1. Listen

• To the Feelings behind the words as well as the

actual words

Words Emotions Implications

• Focus totally on the Speaker

Don’t get lost in your own thoughts

• Concentrate on what Is the Speaker talking

about?

Topic? Speaker? Listeners? Others?

• Look At Speaker

Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

© EDG 2010


2. Questions

• 3 Reasons to Ask Questions

Demonstrates you are listening

Garner more information

Clarification

• Ask Open-ended Questions (5 W’s or H)

How did you feel / What did that mean to you/ What do you see… ? (sensory )

Where will you…?

What will happen…?

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3. Reflect-Paraphrase

– Parroting

– Paraphrasing

– Clarifying

• Reflect what has been said (by restating in your own words)

• Acknowledge and Reflect Feelings displayed

• Reframe the sentiment or ideas or feelings

Capture the essence of the communication

Remove negative framing / positioning

Move toward problem solving or positive outlook

© EDG 2010


4. Agree

• Requires Closed (Yes/No) Questions

• Get Speaker’s Consent and then agreement to your Understanding or Reframing of their position

• Ask Speaker to acknowledge that they have been heard by you

• Get Agreement on Understanding

© EDG 2010

Summary

Definitions •

Barriers and Bad habits •

4 Key Steps •

Tips for Active listening Skills •

Methods to test understanding •

Summary •

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of

listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

~Doug Larson

ACTIVE LISTENING

Business

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