Your Favorite TwinYour Favorite Team

A Guide to Cheering for the World Cup

The World Cup kicks off on Thursday, and while most fans in Twins Territory should be cheering for the US, there’s 45 other group matches, so you may be in the market for a back-up team (particularly if--as many predict--the US doesn’t make it past the first three matches).

The good news is, if you have a favorite Twin (past, present or future), you have a favorite team, you just don’t know it yet. We’ll walk you through how the other 31 teams match with 31 of the most beloved Twins.

Introduction

Group A: Brazil = Kirby Puckett

Kirby’s a legend, beloved and forever linked to our most glorious moments--just as Brazil has its own beloved/trophy laden stature at home and abroad.

Group A: Croatia = Tom Brunansky

Bruno’s quietly consistent offense matches well with the often overlooked Croatians, as do their shared moments of glory: the ‘87 World Series and the ‘98 Semi-finals.

Group A: Cameroon =

Cameroon’s greatest moments come from the beloved aging stars, Roger Milla, Samuel Eto’o...so if you loved the 3,000 hit reunion tour, sign up with the Indomitable Lions

Dave WinfieldPaul Molitor

Group A: Mexico = Eddie Guardado

There’s plenty of talent and speed here, but just as much of a chance for total disaster. Gotta love a wild card.

Group B: Spain = Glen Perkins

A relatively shorter/recent rise to dominance, sure, but both Spain and La Furia Roja combine talent with a lack of ego and a penchant for end of game drama.

Group B: Holland = Bert Blyleven

Beyond the obvious birth connection, neither the Dutch nor Blyleven ever grabbed the brass ring (the Cup/the Cy Young) despite many opportunities

Group B: Chile = Tony Oliva

An offensive powerhouse that’s too often forgotten in the wake of bigger names and more familiar stories (also--like Blyleven, never got close to big hardware)

Group B: Australia = Justin Morneau

The glory days of the mid 00’s were magical, but a combinations of injuries and age have fans clinging to memories. Also, they both accept money with the Queen.

Group C: Colombia = Byron Buxton

Los Cafeteros are young, energetic, talented, poised for greatness and a little banged up right now. Perhaps “Cafetero” could be Buxton’s nickname?

Group C: Greece = Corey Koskie

Koskie, master of defense, always seemed perpetually older than his peers, and the Greeks are similarly protective and seem similarly ancient.

Group C: Cote D’Ivoire = Jim Thome

Ivory Coast is at the end of their “golden generation”, as Thome was with the Twins. Plus: Ivory Coast has elephants and Thome moved like one.

Group C: Japan = Torii Hunter

The Blue Samurai somehow find ways to be contenders no matter how old they get, using athleticism and a strong team ethic to get ahead, Torii would fit right in.

Group D: Uruguay = Zoilo Versailles

Uruguay’s moments in the sun are now ancient history, as is Zoillo’s MVP performance. Tremendously athletic but easily forgotten in the game’s history

Group D: Costa Rica = Gary Gaetti

Tenacious and terrifying, Los Ticos and “The Rat” definitely have a common demeanor. (They also struggle when they leave home: i.e. World Cups or Free Agency)

Group D: England = Harmon Killebrew

The Three Lions pride themselves on being gritty, tough, professional and iconic symbols of the game--Killebrew’s hard hitting, clean living, logo inspiring past matches nicely

Group D: Italy = Miguel Sano

A little dramatic? Sure! But with good reason, everything they do reeks of history, and they combine lightning in a bottle offense with stubborn, stagnant defense.

Group E: Switzerland = Frank Viola

Switzerland’s one of the top 10 teams in the world, not that anyone notices. Viola’s history on the hill puts him near the top of Twins pitching lists, again...not that anyone notices.

Group E: Ecuador = Brad Radke

Playing at the top of the world has forced La Tri to be masters of endurance--Radke’s inning eating & sanity in the face of the late 90’s Twins matches up nicely

Group E: France = Kent Hrbek

Iconic moments, a sprinkle of controversy and HUGE appetites. Somebody buy Hrbie a beret and get him a date with Zidane.

Group E: Honduras = Joe Nathan

Honduras has speed and athleticism, so between Nathan’s fastball and the cliche that pitchers are the best athletes, we have a match.

Group F: Argentina = Rod Carew

An unpredictable mix of dedicated professionalism, leadership and rangy showmanship, Carew’s a consumate artiste on the field--our own Maradona/Messi

Group F: =Alex Meyer

The only debutante in Brazil has both talent (Edin Dzeko) and youth enough to have tremendous potential. Similar expectations hang around Alex Meyer’s neck.

Bosnia/Herzegovina

Group F: Iran = AJ Pierzinsky

I’ll spare you nuclear metaphors for AJ, his defense and demeanor nettle to most rivals--Iran used the same exact m.o. in qualifying and has the same persecution complex

Group F: Nigeria = Jack Morris

Black Jack Morris greatest moments come on the biggest stages, and the Super Eagles have same mentality, performing well enough in Cups to develop a rep, but not a pile of trophies.

Group G: Germany = Joe Mauer

Consistent, efficient, not glamorous, and stubborn in the face of defensive shifts. Mauer lacks Die Mannschafft’s hardware, but matches the pedigree.

Group G: Portugal = Michael Cuddyer

Sure, they’re talented and capable of winning and what not, but the real power is in the dimples and easy charm--as if Ronaldo was wandering Right Field himself

Group G: Ghana = Johan Santana

Both the Black Stars and Johan have plenty of speed, but they also can pull back and change pace to frustrate opponents. Oh, and they also endure agonizing near misses on a regular basis

Group H: Belgium = Brian Dozier

At this moment no two things are hotter than Belgian football and Brian Dozier, they also share tremendous defense, lightning striking and funny accents.

Group H: Algeria = Doug Mientkiewicz

Dougie Baseball had a few moments of offensive power, but he was first and foremost a defensive star. Algeria’s got a similar strategy, though it’s hard to pocket a soccer ball.

Group H: Russia = Chuck Knoblauch

Immensely easy to hate, quick to be dismissed as part of an “evil empire” and erratically either ingenious or stupid on the field itself. It’s like looking in a mirror.

Group H: South Korea = Jim Kaat

Kitty Kaat both blew past hitters and used great defense day in and day out. On top of that, South Korea’s logo features a cat...okay, I admit I’m reaching on some of these.