a powerpoint guide to UPSTAIRS downton abbey

by jaaavert

it’s downtON not downtown

we get annoyed if you say downtown

it’s not a fuckingwhore show

this is the house

ooh pretty

wow

hey why is there a car?

lord grantham

never mention jane

cannot have sons

had a dark time in s2

had sex on weddingnight to a wife he didnt even like

wants to die atdownton

knew a lot ofgay peoplewhile at eton

cant have his daughter marry achauffer but perfectly alrightto snog the maid

what is grantham?

cora crawley

obviously favoursmary

allies only withdowager

really quite pretty

has bad luck shemiscarried only son

cares a lot about herinheritance and shessixty or something

almost died fromspanish flu

people ship coraxsarah

mary crawley

so pretty

bit of a bitch in s1

her vaginakills men

but shes hot

dislikes edith

madly in lovewith matthew

now we wait for s4

has a son called george

was 22 in first epand now 32 but cannot age

but we dont know how oldshe is

because they keepchanging the ages

edith crawley

ugly sisterbut pretty

ditched at thealtar

likes olderguys

doesnt reallydo much apartfrom fish with no bait middle child

somehow she is blonde

and brown eyes

worst fashions1 – s2 award

even herparents dont like her much“she doesnt have much chance”

poor eddie

sybil BRANSONshe is a darling

likes servants

only person tolike thomas

married a chauffer

DEAD

confused over middle name

so in love with tom

fierce bitch

so pretty

doesnt give a fuckabout the main storyline

#wannagetlaid

war/nursing > tom branson

silently judging you

died fromeclampsia

dowager countesssassy as fuck

hates foreigners

“what englishman woulddie in another bed?”

“vulgarity is nosubsitute for wit”

secretly fuckingcarson

always wears purpleher name is violet

hates electricity

shape shifting cat

took a liking to william

then forgot about his wiferan downton for 30 years

matthew ‘reginald’ crawley

no one liked him

HAD to marry mary

a lawyer

died because car crash

fell in love withlaviniathen she died and matt fucked mary

all the crawley girlswanted him we all love matthew

“touch me” he whispers

has a son called george

once upon a timematthew diedeveryone criedboo hoo

tom bransonnot in anywayassociated withniall horan

irish and sexy

suprisingly got onwith everyone downstairs

until he fuckedsybil

no one liked himupstairs apartfrom matthew whoweirdly made himbest man after driving him aroundfor four years

waited five yearsto marry sybil

he got his fairytaleever after

then sybil goes andgets herself killed

isis

should be dead by now

thanks for reading

ill do downstairs crew next