A PLACE OF YES by Bethenny Frankel—read an excerpt now!

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A l s o b y b e t h e n n y F r A n k e l

Natural ly Thin

The Skinnygir l Dish


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A Place of Yes10 Rules for Getting EverythingYou Want Out of Life

Bethenny Frankelwith Eve Adamson

A t o u c h s t o n e b o o k

Published by Simon & Schuster

New York London Toronto Sydney

4


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Touchstone

A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, NY 10020

Copyright 2011 by BB Endeavors, LLC

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof

in any form whatsoever. For information address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights

Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Touchstone hardcover edition March 2011

TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases,

please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at

1-866-506-1949 or [email protected].

The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event.

For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers

Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com.

Designed Joy OMeara

Manufactured in the United States of America

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Frankel, Bethenny.

A place of yes : 10 rules for getting everything you want out of life /by Bethenny Frankel, with Eve Adamson.

p. cm.

1. Self-actualization (Psychology). 2. Self-realization.

3. Self-defeating behavior. 4. Success. 5. Frankel, Bethenny.

I. Adamson, Eve. II. Title.

BF637.S4F723 2011

646.7dc22 2010050090

ISBN 978-1-4391-8690-9

ISBN 978-1-4391-8692-3 (ebook)


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This book is dedicated to you:my passionate, fearless, inappropriate,

supportive, caring, hilarious fans.

You go for it, you want more, you believe in yourselves

and in the ght and you know that good enoughsimply isnt good enough.

You have come into my life and allowed me to come into yours.

Everything I do is to show you that anything and everything

is possible, and we will get there together.

Trust this book, love yourself,

and allow yourself to live the life

you always dreamed of.


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Contents

IntroductionWho I Am, What This Book Is About,

and What You Need to Know Before You Begin 1

Rule 1Break the Chain: Surviving Childhood 18

Rule 2

Find Your Truth: How I Finally Met My Match 64

Rule 3Act on It: My Dream Evolves 114

Rule 4Everythings Your Business: Finding My Stride As an Entrepreneur 143

Rule 5All Roads Lead to Rome: The Rise and Fall of BethennyBakes 174

Rule 6Go for Yours: The Apprentice, Martha, and Me 201

Rule 7Separate from the Pack: My Life as a Housewife 226

vii


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Contentsviii

Rule 8Own It: Bethenny Getting Married? 253

Rule 9Come Together: My Life Now 276

Rule 10Celebrate!: The Business of Being Happy 311

Acknowledgments 323


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253

Rule 8

wn It

Bethenny Getting Married?

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is tell-

ing the truth to other people.

Spencer Johnson, business author

This next rule is one of those rules that applies at any stage oflifeas much when youre rst starting out as when youre at the

peak of your success. Its a rule Ive always lived by, and it really

came to fruition at the next stage in my life. It will be your ally and

your greatest defender, no matter what youve done. Rule #8 is your

touchstone: Own it.Owning it is about honesty, and copping to what youve done or

saidno matter what. Some people say I take it too far. I am the

queen of TMI. I sometimes overshare or say inappropriate things in

part to entertain people, in part to entertain myselfits my strange

sense of humor. In some way, it makes me feel more real, like Im

really here with my two feet on the ground, running my own show

and not under anybodys thumb. Its my way of being myself.

But no matter what I reveal, on my show, in my books, in my


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A Place of Yes254

appearances, or anywhere else, I will always follow rule #8. I will

never deny something I really said or did.

When you break the chain, take responsibility for your life, nd

your truth, act on it, have faith that all roads lead to Rome, go for

yours with passion and dedication, and separate from the pack,

youll absolutely have to own it. Youve set yourself up to live with

integrity, and this rule is the key to practicing that integrity.

If you do it, say it, think itthen own it, and youll never have

to scramble to cover your tracks or remember your lies or make up

any excuses. Owning it means taking that nal step toward fully

acknowledging who you really are.

At every stage of my life, Ive owned it, and owned it big. Some-

times it stung in the moment, but it was always better in the end.

Ive never pretended to be somebody else, denied anything Ive

done, or refused to admit to something I actually said, even when it

might have beneted me in the short term to do otherwise. Some-

times, Ive even felt as if my life depended on owning it. I live by all

the rules in this book, but in many ways, this rule denes me. Ivethought a lot about why owning it is so important to me, and I think

I know why. Its because of rule #1, breaking the chain.

I told you all about my mother in the beginning of this book, in-

cluding how, last year, after an article appeared in People magazine

and I talked about my childhood, my mother came forward and

talked to the tabloids, and sold my childhood pictures to the press.

I knew she would do this at some point, and, oddly, I understood

why. She felt exposed and uncomfortable about what Ive said abouther, and she wanted to tell her side of the story.

But I never felt like my mother was able to own her own life,

and I think thats why Ive always been overzealously committed to

owning mine.

In writing this book, I never wanted to hurt her or anybody. I

wish when this book comes out so she wouldnt have to see it or

know about it. However,my conict was that if I cant tell the truth


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wn It 255

about the past, I cant move on from it. I cant break the chain. Also,

I cant help people, or even ask them to live a certain way, unless I

can stand up and do it rst. I have to tell my story. I have to let you

under the hood of my life, so I can lead by example and help other

people with their own struggles. I have to do it for myself, for my

husband, for my daughter . . . and foryou. Im sorry if shes uncom-

fortable with how I remember my past, but I have to own it, and I

cant be responsible for her inability to own what shes done or who

she is.

She might be angry with me, or maybe shes not anymore. I

dont know. All I know is that Im not angry with her about the past.

Im deeply hurt by her recent actions, but not surprised. I believe

people shouldnt complain or explain. At some point, you have to let

it go. Every time Ive ever talked to my mother, shes full of negativ-

ity. The last time I talked to her, I told her I was breastfeeding, and

she said, I didnt breastfeed you. Maybe thats what I did wrong!

Then she told me my husband must be from New York because my

accent was horrible. (Hes not, by the way.) When it comes to mymother, there is always a dig.

All I can do is stand up for myself and own my own life, and do

everything I can to protect my daughter. Thats the whole point of

rule #8. The truth sets you free, so own it.

This book is about me. And its about you. Maybe I take it too

far by wearing my heart (and all my other body parts) on my sleeve,

but I do it to defeat my own childhood noise. Its my coping mecha-

nism. Its the way I own it, and it works for me. It helps me belighter and not take myself too seriously.

If you want to have integrity, if you want to feel right and good

and strong about what you are doing and where you are going with

your life, you have to own it. Do you feel it? Did you say it? Did you

do it? Did you really mean it? Is it who you really are? Then own it.

Rule #8 is about taking responsibility for who you are, what you

do, what you stand for. Its about being truthful, not just to other


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A Place of Yes256

people but to yourselfeven if your friends arent or your family

isnt. Its about seeing the reality of a situation, accepting it, and

working with it.

Perhaps Ive chosen an extreme solution to making my life, my

mistakes and successes, transparentby putting it all on television.

Some people might think my career and life are too public, and

would never want to bare themselves in public the way I do, and I

understand that. This is my way to do it, not yours. Youll have your

own path for owning what you do and what has happened to you in

your life.

Personally, I feel so fortunate to have this forum for voicing my

ideas and sharing my experiences. When I think of something great,

sometimes it doesnt seem truly great until I can tell people about

it, and Ive got a way to do that. But its not for everyone, and when

Bryn is old enough to be aware that shes on television, Jason and I

will have to have a serious heart-to-heart about whether to keep her

in front of the camera. A lot of that will depend on her. If there is

any negative effect at all, of course it will end immediately, and whoknows, I will probably be doing something else by then, anyway. My

goal isnt to be on reality TV forever. Its to have a longer and more

in-depth dialogue with my fans through a different outlet, such as a

talk show.

But even though Im guessing your life isnt on camera the way

mine is, its still your life and its real and its happening to you right

now, and you can make it into anything you want. Owning your

words and actions is the way. You dont have to be on camera havingyour life dissected by viewers in their living rooms to take responsi-

bility for that life. You just have to own it.


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Want more from Bethenny?Pre-order your copy of A Place of Yestoday!

A PLACE of YESNew from Bethenny!On sale in March 22, 2011

Its easy to say no andI cant, to expectthe worst and to doubt yourself. But your lifecan be better than not bad or good enoughit can be amazing.

In her new book, Bethenny opens up andshares the obstacles she overcame and the

great success she has enjoyed while discoveringhow to approach life from A Place of Yes. Byputting together Bethennys ten rules forpursuing your goals with authenticity and drive,you too can be more successful, more fulfilled,healthier, and happier than ever before. Clickhere to learn more!

Available wherever books are sold.Visit Bethenny.com for exclusive videos, photos, and more!

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