Chapter 23 – Mind Your Own Business

Welcome back to A Piratical Legacy - sorry for the delay! Previously, we saw the heiress, Grace, move back to the family manor and marry her sweetheart, Lee. Pseudo-spare Gertie also moved back home, along with her Bigfoot friend, Andrew. Grace and Lee ushered in the advent of generation 6 with firstborn son, Coxinga, and then a daughter, Ching Shih. Grace's twin sister Susanna also became a parent. Toby is being raised by his father in Paris, though Anna visits her small son often.

William moved in with simself Orikes and they got married in a double ceremony with Will's twin, Nicholas, who married the alien Green Boolprop. So far, Will and Orikes have one son, Hugo. Nick and Green have talked of adopting a pet or two. Elsewhere in the neighborhood, the tiger line continues with Angora and Rajah, cousins who live with their families in the Tiger estate. Also, inquisitive Morgan and her partner Kelly adopted a girl they named Toshiko.

As you can see, my husband and I were much too busy to actually update either of our stories over the past few months. What with relaxing until we got sunburnt on Twikkii Island, computers were the furthest thing from our minds. Add in chasing after a very active little girl (Athena), and you can see why we didn't bother to write! Actually, we just got swamped with real life stuff. Combined with a bit of writer's block... it was hard to get motivated. But now it's the new year, my motivation is back, and so we'll delve into the world of the Buccaneers once more. And now the story continues...

"Now that both of the babies are born, we can finally start our road to economic domination of Pirate Island!" Grace said excitedly to her husband, Lee. "Everything is going as we've planned!" Lee enthused. "A few more promotions and I'll have control of most of the local financial community. Before long we'll both be tycoons!" "You know what I love best about you?" Grace grinned.

"What's that, darling?" "How much you like money!" "All this talk about money... what do you say we head to the bedroom, honey?" And they skipped down the hall hand-in-hand, perfectly content.

"Mom 'n' dad are talkin' about monies again," Coxinga (Zing) complained loudly from the kitchen. "Somebody pay 'tention to me!" "There's my little man," Grace said, smiling down at her little boy as she walked into the kitchen. She straightened her clothes self-consciously. "What are you still doing up? I thought Andrew would have put you to bed by now, Zing!" "Andy's workin'," Zing said sullenly. "Wish I could workin', Mommy! Den I could makes money too, an' buy somefin' fun to play wif." "You have lots of very nice toys," Grace said automatically as she scooped Zing into her arms. "Besides, you're getting to be very big now. Soon you'll have to start school, honey."

"Aww... school?" Zing protested while Grace got him ready for bed. "What I do dere?" "Well, you can learn to read and write and all kinds of things," Grace shrugged. "School will help you be successful in life. And you can meet other people there too - people your own age!" "Bigger'n Shih?" "Just your size!" Grace said. "But Shih is getting big too, you know. Soon she'll be walking and talking, probably not long after you start school." "When's dat?" "Oh... not more than a day or two, I think," Grace said. She looked down on her small son proudly. "You're growing up so fast..."

And indeed, the next day it was Zing's birthday. The entire family was invited and most of them even showed up! Everybody couldn't help but shudder at Marie's taste in clothing, but some things never changed. "Hurry up and sing the birthday song," Andrew said. "My lobster thermidor is burning." "Well, go get it!" Grace said, waving frantically. "No. The birthday ceremony must first be observed."

"Gertie, tell your Bigfoot to please try NOT to burn the house down!" Grace pleaded. "Oh, calm down," Roche said soothingly. "Three more seconds won't lead to anyone bursting into flame, dear. And don't antagonize Andrew." "Oh... okay," Grace said, lightening up. "Go ahead, dad. You do the honours." Roche grinned, scooped Zing up in his arms, and approached the cake with the toddler.

"All right!" Zing said enthusiastically, posing for the camera. "Read it and weep, mom 'n' dad! You're looking at the coolest kid of this generation." And really, he was so adorable nobody could disagree.

Of course, one could argue that the boy-band practicing in the living room was possibly cooler than Zing, but this deity thinks they haven't got a chance.

"Okay Andrew, being a kid is definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me," Zing said as Andrew swept the lad up in his arms for "Birthday Bigfoot Hugs". "And why is that, Coxinga?" "Now I'm finally big enough to do all the things I've been wanting to do for ages," Zing said enthusiastically. "Like play video games! And use the computer! And actually leave the house!" "It is a shame that Pirate Island society forbids toddlers from leaving

their homes," Andrew agreed solemnly, setting Zing down. "Now, what do you say to a game of SSX3?" "Awesome!" Zing crowed. "And I'm gonna kick your butt, Andrew! And if I win, then you have to do my chores for a month!" "And if I win," Andrew said seriously, "you will have to do my chores for a month." "Race you to the controllers!"

And as Grace cleaned up after the party guests, she reflected that it had been a rather nice party, as befit the potential future heir of the family. Still, she was glad that the festivities were over with because the next morning she'd be heading back to the family businesses to get them up to top level. She didn't think it would take very long. Gertie always averred that it was Grace's preoccupation that led her to throw out the birthday cake before anyone but Zing had a chance to eat any.

Grace's first task in realizing her dream of having 5 Top Businesses was to get the clothing Boutique up to top level. While Mary had done pretty well in running it, Ivy had only used it as a place to woohoo her harem, and Roche had ignored it completely. Grace was determined to see it reach the top. She was happy to see that Ben Long and Candi were still faithfully coming in to work every day, even though neither of them was ready to be promoted to manager. With Samara Uglacy on the cash register, Grace was sure the simoleons would be piling in. Although perhaps if the simself customers would be a bit friendlier, it would happen faster.

Still, it was only a few days later when Candi delivered the good news. "Congratulations, Grace -- I did a tally of today's stars and we hit level ten!" "Awesome!"

Just down the road from the clothing boutique, further celebrations were being observed. In the household founded by Eddie and Tosha Buccaneer, mutant tiger freaks of nature that they were, a pair of children were growing up.

First up was baby Angora Buccaneer, daughter of Pierce (Jack --> Mary --> Ivy --> Bart & De/fireflower314 --> Pierce) and Rani (Jack --> Mary --> Eddie --> Nala --> Rani).

She made a beeline for the family kitten, where she proceeded to be absolutely adorable. Somehow I don't think the kitten appreciated it as much as Angora did. She kept custody of the little white puffball for the rest of the evening.

And before long, little Angora had grown from toddler to child. As far as everyone could tell, she looked an awful lot like her grandfather, Bart, right down to her nose!

The other child was the one who would carry on the tiger lineage. Shere Khan Buccaneer was quite possibly the most adorable of the tiger children the family had yet produced. He was a very nice mixture of both sides of his family: his father, Rajah (Jack --> Mary --> Eddie --> Nala --> Rajah) and his mother, Moll Thayer (Jack --> Mary --> Jack --> April & Ben/Blite27 --> Moll).

"Arr! This be beneath me dignity, ye scurvy rapscallion!" "Bear has a flavr!" Khan giggled as he chewed on Grandpa Jack's ear. "Nom nom nom!" "Avast! Why're ye just starin' at me bein' despoiled, mate?" Because I think it's adorable. "Yer a cruel deity, missus."

And it wasn't long before it was Khan's birthday yet again. His entire family showed up for this event as well.

"So, I'm one-eighth simself, right?" Khan asked his very young-looking grandfather. "The math looks right," Ben agreed. "So... I can has simself superpowers?" Khan asked eagerly. "Like Superman? Or Wolverine?" "Uhh... you'll have to ask Sarah about that," Ben shrugged, looking directly at me. "This is her world and I have no idea what, if any, powers simselves and their offspring get in this world." "Oh," Khan said, looking a bit disappointed. "Well, I guess I can ask the goddess when she gets back from vacation. But it's not that important. I'm glad you came to my birthday party, grandpa!"

Both Angora and Khan were only children, but they never really felt like it. Since they grew up in the same household, they were as close as brother and sister despite their cousinly relationship.

They also had a lot of other friends. It wasn't unusual for them to bring people home from school with them. "You're it!" Robin giggled, and ran off in the opposite direction. "What?" Angora laughed. She whirled around in the opposite direction and set off after her schoolmate.

"Aww... why won't anyone play catch with me?" Shere Khan complained, waving his softball in aggravation. "C'mon, guys! Is can be play time nao pleas?" "I have to go home now anyway," Robin shrugged. "Ndainye gets mad when I'm late for dinner. Why don't you play with him, Angie? He's your cousin." "Yeah, but he's a boy, and he's younger'n us," Angora complained.

"Oh well... if you have to go home I guess I can play with Khan. See you at school tomorrow, Robin." "See ya!" "Meh. Do not want," Khan said, putting away his baseball. "Let's go inside." "Okay."

"Do you know how to play this game?" Angora asked her cousin. "Nope! Do you?" "I think you have to kind of move around the little pieces," Angora said. "Some of them can only move in some ways, and others can only move in different ways, but I don't know which ones move which ways." "Me neither," Khan said. He scowled at the board. "Hey, look!" he

shrieked, pointing behind Angora. "It's ceiling cat!" "What?" Angora asked, turning around to look. With a chuckle, Khan moved around a bunch of the pieces while Angora's back was turned. "Hey! You cheated!" Angora yelled when she noticed. "Pwned."

Back at Buccaneer manor, it was time for yet another celebration, and Anna had stopped by to help celebrate. "Shih looks a lot like you," Anna said as she cuddled her niece. "She does, doesn't she," Grace said proudly.

They decided to hold the birthday celebration in the living room this time so that they wouldn't interrupt Andrew's lobster thermidor.

Ching Shih grew up to be absolutely adorable... and she definitely had a sweeter disposition than her brother. Not that she was super nice, but she was sweeter than Zing. She was also very tidy, outgoing, active, and playful.

"Grandpa Roche, do you think Shih will get to be heiress since she's nicer than I am?" Zing asked his grandfather with some worry evident in his voice. "Now, now," Roche said soothingly. "You never can tell who will end up in charge of the legacy. Just look at me! I didn't even want to be heir, but I didn't have a choice. And your mom did want to be the heiress because she wanted the family fortune." "How big is the family fortune, anyway?" Zing asked.

"Oh, big enough," Roche said. "You're too young to worry about that sort of thing, Zinger." "I can't wait til I'm old enough to work," Zing said. "Then I can help the family and maybe we can get a real mansion. Our house is pretty small compared to some of my friends' houses, grandpa. Are we poor and you just don't want to tell me?" "We're fine, Zing," Roche said reassuringly. "Honestly."

"Adults only say 'honestly' when they're lying," Zing said to himself. "I'd better help out more around the house so that we don't have to pay the maid as much. And when I'm bigger I can be the one to repair the dishwasher." As he did his chores, the poor little tyke managed to convince himself that his entire family was three steps away from the poorhouse.

"G'anpa, I wanna dancing too!" Shih said as she toddled into the living room. "Why you dance so funny?" "This is the slap dance," Roche explained, picking Shih up and whirling her around in his arms. "But that's not a dance for two people. This is a dance for two people!" And he waltzed with her around the room. "More!"

"Mistah Boat, one day I gonna have a big boat dust like you. An' den I'm gonna sail round da whole world, an' explore jungles an' see everything!" Ching Shih was a little girl with very big dreams. She wanted to know about everything, but she wasn't content reading a book or asking questions. She preferred to find things out herself, even at such a tender young age.

"You're getting really good at talking now, honey," Grace said approvingly as she sat down to spend some quality time with her daughter. "I can just tell you're going to be a big success when you enter the business world." "Don't like playin' store," Shih insisted. "Wanna make mud pies 'stead." "But you'll get dirty!" Grace said. "Wanna know how dirty," Shih said. "Can I get dirty 'nuff to wreck clo's? Or just need a bath? I wanna see!"

"Ms. Langarack, thank you for being so understanding," Zing said into the phone. "You've done a wonderful job for my family over the years, and that's why we think you deserve a vacation. No, it's not a paid vacation, but that's not an issue, is it? My family has been very generous over the years - surely you have plenty of simoleons saved up? Good. Enjoy your vacation, then - we'll see you in a week!" As Zing hung up the phone he reflected proudly on his ability to save the family from unnecessary expenditures.

"Well hello, Zing," Lee said as he walked in the door. "How was your day? School go okay?" "It was fine," Zing said. "But guess what, dad? I told the maid she could have a vacation!" "Why?" Lee asked, taken aback. "So we could save some money, of course!" Zing said. "I know we don't have a lot, so now you won't have to pay the maid for a whole week!" "Zing, we honestly do have plenty of money," Lee said reassuringly. "I have a very good job, and your mother's businesses are making a

lot of cash. There was no need to send the maid away for a week!" "I think you're lying," Zing said, putting his hands on his hips. "And I'm gonna save this family, Dad! Not even your and mom's pride can get in the way!" "Well, as long as you're willing to do the chores for a week, Kaylynn can keep her vacation," Lee shrugged. "You think you can handle it, son?" "You bet I can," Zing avowed. "You just wait and see, dad." "That I will, son. That I will."

"... and so Zing will be responsible for cleaning up all of the dishes and making all of the beds for the next week," Lee explained. "It was very nice of you to give Kaylynn a vacation, son," Grace said approvingly. "Kind and economical. I do think you have very good business sense." "Mom, are we eating vegetables because we can't afford meat?" Zing asked, poking at his salad. "Whatever gave you that idea?" Grace shook her head. "Honestly, Zing, we're just having veggies because your Aunt Gertie didn't cook tonight. Otherwise it'd be grilled cheese." "Cheese and bread are pretty cheap, aren't they?" "Obsessed with money, just like his parents," Lee said fondly, leaning over to ruffle Zing's hair.

Grace was finding getting Bubbles 'n' Bubbly up to top level a bit more difficult than the boutique. For one thing, her staff rebelled and quit in a huff. "I'm out of here!" Professor Butters-Marius declared. "I'm going back to teaching!"

But Grace was a pretty talented saleswoman, and when you're selling what everyone else is buying... things are bound to go well. She had a target audience...

... and she managed to convince her most experienced staff to keep working for her, after all. "$80 an hour or I walk!" "Augh! Er, I mean... would you agree to $65 and a preferred parking spot?" "No."

"Your own shelf in the staff lounge fridge?" "No." "Fine. $75 an hour and a promotion." "$78." "*sigh* ... deal."

No, it was the chance to interact with so many other sims that made simselves happy to work for Grace. And she always paid them fairly, and didn't push them to work too many hours either.

And in the end, it all paid off when Simba Buccaneer gave Grace the last star needed to push Bubbles 'n' Bubbly to the top.

"Toy! Come here!" A pair of adorably chubby little legs waggled precariously as the toddler overbalanced.

"Gonna blow up da bad guys! Boom! I's way tougher dan Superman or Wolverine! Boom!" Toshiko Buccaneer, adopted daughter of Morgan and Kelly, was a very opinionated child, and obviously not afraid to take matters into her own hands.

"Bart, dear, your granddaughter is blowing up terrorists in her bedroom again." "It's Morgan's fault," Bart said. "Hmm? How is it my fault?" Morgan asked as she dug into her omelette. "Who else would tell a four-year-old what a terrorist is?" Bart asked, shrugging. "There are some subjects that are just plain inappropriate for toddlers, Morgan." "I believe young children need to be in touch with the world around them, and Kelly agrees with me," Morgan said primly. "Anyway, it's her birthday party tonight."

"Come on, Toshi," Kelly smiled, cuddling her daughter. "It's time to blow out the candles and grow up into a big girl!" "I already pretty big," Toshiko insisted. "I smash da terrorists wif my rockets!" "Way to stand up for democracy!" Kelly chuckled. "Maybe someday you'll join the military, Toshi!" "Nah," Toshiko said after a moment's pondering. "I wanna... I dunno." "Well, you have plenty of time to decide."

Pretty much everybody was on hand to see Toshiko transition from toddler to child. Unfortunately, it was in the evening so none of her older cousins were able to make it.

And, dear readers, don't you think that Toshi transitioned pretty well? Her entire family was definitely proud of her for growing up so well. "I know what I wanna do! Dazzle you all with my superior cuteness! That'll keep everyone distracted long enough to set the fuses."

"What?" Toshi breathed as she looked at her very first report card. She barrelled into the house. "Mom! Mom!"

"What is it, dear?" Kelly asked, looking up from where she was practicing the piano. Toshi frantically waved her report card in her mom's face. "Look, mom! Look!" Kelly took the proffered paper and scanned it quickly. "Oh, well done, Toshi! Straight A's! I'm so proud of you!" "And mom, since I got straight A's, can I get piano lessons like you

said?" Toshiko asked eagerly. "I really want to bring peace to the world with a combination of music and high explosives, and well... I got the high explosives down, but I still need to work on the music a bit." Kelly stared at her child for a moment. "Should I be worrying about this A+ in Chemistry?" "Aw, mom, please please please please please? I promise not to set fire to anything important if you let me!"

"Eh, what the heck." "Mommy, you're Canadian... aren't you." "Yes."

"And this is the economical model," Zing said, pushing his toy car across his half of the bedroom. "Great gas mileage combined with beautiful styling and comfortable seating. Something the whole family can afford!" "I pway?" Shih asked, toddling over to join him. "Only if you can afford to," Zing told her. "This game is for rich kids only!" "Oh, you pwayin' store," Shih said sadly. "Dat game boooooring!" "Well fine," Zing grumbled. "I'll just find someone else to play with."

"So there's this great game I know," Zing said earnestly to Robinoli. "Maybe you've played it before, Robin? I call it 'Used Car Salesman'."

"Who wants a story?" Grace asked, tickling Shih in the ribs. "Me!" Shih giggled.

"... and so Goldilocks opened up a breakfast restaurant with the Three Bears, because she'd realized that 'Just Right' was the perfect marketing slogan. And they lived financially well-off ever after. The End." "Mommy, dat book was about pwayin' store," Shih said with a grimace. "Yes it was, dearie," Grace said, closing the book with a thump. "It's all about how you squeeze the poor, Shih. Remember that, will you?" "Uck." "Oh, honey," Grace said sadly, "You just don't understand how beautiful it is to have lots of money."

Whatever misgivings Grace held about her daughter's financial interest, she pushed it aside in order to properly celebrate Shih's birthday. Once again, the party was a family affair, with everybody making it over for the event.

"Ahh... it's good to be big," Shih said, satisfaction evident in her tone as she grabbed a slice of cake. "Now I'm finally big enough to find out what this stuff tastes like. No more bottles or bowls of mush, ever!"

"Mom, how come Shih never wants to play Used Car Salesman with me?" Zing asked. "Your sister just doesn't care about money the way we do," Grace shrugged. "Some people just don't care about that sort of thing." "But if she doesn't care about money, and she's the heiress one day, then the family will be ruined!" Zing exclaimed. "Mom... is that a risk you want to take? You need to make sure Shih is properly educated in financial matters. Bad enough you and dad are barely breaking even."

"Zing, for the last time we're not in danger of running out of money! Honestly!" "Again with that word," Zing muttered as he crawled into bed. "What was that?" Grace asked. "Nothin'," Zing said. "Goodnight." "Goodnight, dear. I'll make sure Shih is quiet when she gets home from visiting her little friend."

"Shih, dearie, it's time you ought to be heading home," Nala said. "Your mom asked if I would walk you there." "I can has walk too, Grandma?" Shere Khan asked. "Shih is my bestest friend in the world!" "I suppose," Nala said. "It's getting late, though, and you're too big for me to carry you home if you get tired." "Not-sleepy cat is not sleepy, Grandma! Let's go!"

Around this time, Grace opened up her third business. "I'd like to welcome you to Legacy Memorial Gardens," Grace said sombrely to one visitor. "For the low, low price of $10 per hour, you can wander through the historical resting places of my illustrious ancestors and family members. Every member of the family who has ever died on Pirate Island is interred here... and if you're really lucky, one of them will stop by and scare the lights out of you!" "Why the Halloween decorations?" the visitor asked. "Blatant commercialism," Grace shrugged. "It attracts the kiddies."

"Only in your legacy would somebody profit off of the deaths of their ancestors and relatives," Sushi complained to me. "Hey!" I protested. "I just work here! You're just sore you didn't think of it first."

It was pretty safe to say that not everybody approved of Grace's latest business venture. "At least provide refreshments!" Shannon spluttered, appearing out of nowhere. "Right you are, Shannon! Right you are!" echoed from somewhere between the rows of graves.

Grace decided that some food wouldn't be a bad idea, if only to prevent her clients from starving to death immediately after being frightened. "Did that vampire ghost get you, too, Flavius?" Sunny Goodytwoshoes asked, clinging to an old friend of hers for some reassurance. "Nah, I made a beeline for the buffet," Flavius said. "None of the ghosts know how to use the stairs."

"That true?" Sunny asked Grace. "It is," Grace nodded. "But unfortunately the karaoke machine won't fit up here." "Karaoke machine?" "Oh, it's just to bring in more customers," Grace said. "You have no shame," Sunny said disapprovingly.

"Arr! Who be disturbin' me restin' in peace?" the ghost of Mary Buccaneer demanded. "Ack! I'm a Pleasure Sim!" Zoey Legacina complained. "I'm here for the karaoke, honest! The karaoke!" "Aye? Well, and ye must be a good singer if ye wants ta be singin' karaoke in me graveyard," Mary muttered. "If yer a bad 'un, I'll have ta be scarin' ya ag'in, missie. That be the worst 'Moonlight Bay' I ever heard, and me papa's were pretty bad."

"Graaaaace... tell your dad that his mother says hiiiiiiii!" Pao wailed. Then he grinned. "Did I scare ya? Huh? Did I?" "Grandfather, I think you've been spending too much time with great-grandfather Alan." "That's as may be, Grace. That's as may be." "Ack! Stop it!" "Hehehe," Pao chuckled to himself as he floated off. "Love the Halloween decor, by the way. Ivy thinks it's tacky, though."

In the end, I decided that I might have to suffer through Grace profiting off of the death of her ancestors, but I certainly didn't have to work for her. After all, who runs this legacy, anyway? And that vampire guy scares me. Y'know, the one Ivy married while pregnant with Cale's kid and then accidentally killed because, in her pregnant state, she insisted on sleeping in his coffin? Yeah, that guy.

But even without my tacit approval, there were plenty of people around to buy tickets. Some preferred to come during the day to avoid the ghosts, however.

"Ah, my dear niece," Jack Thayer said softly when he finally decided to pay a visit. "I see you are profiting shamelessly from the untimely demise of our beloved ancestors? Is no sepulchre sacred?" "Not in this place," Grace shrugged. "Your financial acumen would perhaps be best if directed to other enterprises," Jack suggested. "I find it difficult to compass that any corporate entity could be successfully founded upon the grounds of discorporation."

"Oh, I'm doing okay," Grace said. "Hey... you don't have a problem with me turning the cemetary into a business, do you Uncle Jack?" "While a laudable effort, my dear niece, it would seem a more prudent business practice not to operate in an area of high paranormal activity. It can be hazardous to the health of the employees. Now, what have I always told you about the welfare of your staff?" "That a happy minion is a productive minion, Uncle Jack." "You are a credit to our name, Grace."

Of all the attractions, the karaoke machine was what people really came for. There actually weren't a lot of Knowledge sims looking for ghosts on Pirate Island, surprisingly. And, in the end, Grace earned that last gold star from one of her most reluctant customers... again, at the karaoke machine. As she turned the business over to her manager, she began to ponder what she should sell next...

Meanwhile, at a house a ways down the road from Legacy Memorial Gardens, the two newest members of the Buccaneer extended family were getting to know each other. These playful pets are the adopted furchildren of Nick and Green Boolprop. The dog's name is Rags, and the cat's name is Kilo.

But it's Hugo Pseudo, child of Will and Orikes Pseudo, who is the most petted and cossetted individual in the household. Perhaps it's because he's completely adorable. But it might also be because if he isn't constantly being held, he makes a beeline for the toilet.

"That child of yours really does need to be taught that just because toilets have 'toy' in the name, they aren't... uh... toys," Will said to his wife. "I think he's going to grow up to be a Pleasure Sim," Orikes said proudly. "Maybe he'll want to be a celebrity chef so we can stop eating these disgusting burned hamburgers," Green complained. "Err... that was me," Nick said sheepishly. "Sorry, hon."

It's not that Orikes and Will were bad parents, per se. They doted on their child, and kept him away from the toilet whenever possible. But there were a lot of things they'd rather do than make sure Hugo didn't flush the remote control down the loo. Like bounce on the couch.

Nick and Green were relieved when Hugo's birthday rolled around, because it meant that he would finally outgrow playing in the bathroom. Well, probably. There was always a chance he'd embark on a tub-pirating career, after all. As usual, the entire household attended, as well as Will's friend Sim.

Hugo definitely took after both parents, and that became much more evident once he reached his child years. And yes, he was still cute. Upon seeing this picture in the family photo album, grandmother Marie insisted on getting a copy for her wall.

Hugo was very close to all of his relatives: aunts, uncles, and grandparents. He didn't know any of his cousins yet, but that would be rectified once he started school. "And I'm going to have you all over one day for a party, too!" Marie insisted. "I think when you're older I'll take you to the family vacation house," Roche promised. "Maybe when all of your cousins are at least seven or eight." "But that's so long in the future!" Hugo said.

"Well, we don't have to wait that long before you all come to see me," Marie soothed. "Don't you think it would be fun to come over for breakfast with Zing and Shih? And maybe Toby will even be able to come!" "Who's Toby?" Hugo asked. "Oh, he's your other cousin, but he lives all the way in Paris," Marie said. "Hopefully you'll get to meet him one day!" "That'd be really cool," Hugo said enthusiastically.

"Good job with the graveyard biz, Ms. Buccaneer," Sim Spade, Private Eye, said approvingly. "Oh, you liked it!" Grace grinned. "That's good to hear, Mr. Spade. Say, when's your next movie coming out?" "Who knows?" the actor/detective shook his head. "Production on that has been delayed indefinitely, but I think there's a new serial coming out in the next few weeks. Action-adventure. Will I see you at the premiere?" "Wouldn't miss it," Grace said. She paused in her slap-dancing. "You know, it's really crazy how this dance has taken off across the entire island. It's almost like a virus the way it spreads." "You're telling me!"

A few days later, Orikes was pleased to discover that she was pregnant again. "And no morning sickness at all this time," she said gleefully when she let Will in on the news. "I hardly believe I'm in my second trimester already!"

Hugo was also flourishing, and it wasn't long before he was doing the straight-A dance for his parents. "But dear, I wish you'd knock first," Orikes said.

"Our son got straight As today, Will," Orikes mentioned later that evening as her husband studied for his next promotion. "I saw his report card on the fridge!" Will grinned, not looking up from his book.

Some time later, it was time for the newest addition to the family to be born. "Wiiiiiilllllll!" Orikes cried, "It's time!" "In a minute, dear," Will said. "I'm gonna getcha little fishie! I'm gonna getcha little fishie!" "Will!"

A very, very short time later, Will and Orikes welcomed the newest member of their family - a baby girl named Liv. "She's gorgeous, love," Will said proudly as he pulled out his amazing MP3 player. "We got that new bedroom set up just in time!" "Will Pseudo, you are going to take your daughter downstairs and give her a bottle," Orikes said sternly. She grabbed the MP3 player from him. "As for me, I'm going to listen to music and have a nap."

Straight As weren't all that Hugo was making at school. He'd also managed to make quite a few friends. Robin was one of his favorites, though she didn't have any one best friend. She was friends with everyone. "ZOMG!" Robin squealed. "It's so nice playing with someone who doesn't want to play Used Car Salesman! Squee!" "Could you not do that in my ear, Robin? It kinda hurts now, and everything you say sounds like buzzing." "SAD FACE."

It was his 'cousin' Toshiko who Hugo really connected with as a child. Nearly every day she came over after school or he went to her house. "And so my piano teacher said that I had to work on my major scales, so I hid an iguana in the piano bench the next lesson. My mommies said I wasn't allowed to use dynamite on people. Unless they're terrorists."

"Toshi, let's always be friends," Hugo said. "Promise?" "I promise," Toshi swore. "But just friends... no mushy stuff when we're bigger, okay?" "I dunno," Hugo mused. "You're awfully pretty, Toshi." "Hugo!" "Oh, okay," Hugo said. "Friends forever, Toshi."

"Do you find it difficult, being married into the legacy family?" Rubyblue asked Orikes one fine evening. "I mean, are there a lot of expectations and whatnot? Babies upon babies? How's the whole deal work in this neighborhood anyway, Ori?" "It's not so bad," Orikes said. "I married a hot spare, I've got two adorable kids, and I actually get to be perma-plat eventually. Not a bad deal, as far as I'm concerned."

And not long after that in-depth, awe-inspiring conversation, it was time for Liv to grow up to toddler. Again, the whole family showed up.

I do apologize. This is the only picture I have of Liv as a toddler (in this update, at least!). But she is cute. I promise! And neat, shy, lazy, playful, and kind.

On a bright Saturday a few days later, it was a full house at the Pseudo home. Hugo asked for, and received, permission to have all of his friends over to visit while his Grandma Marie was babysitting. "Zing, why's Shih eating in the kitchen?" Mini-Toast asked scornfully. "Doesn't she know that pancakes taste way better sitting down than standing up?"

"I think it's another one of her experiments," Zing said. "She was talking about finding out if that was myth or fact on the way over today." "BUSTED!" came a shout from the kitchen. "Your sister is really weird," Toast nodded. "Tell me about it," Zing complained. "Did you know she doesn't even like to play Used Car Salesman?"

"Oh, she's not so bad, guys," Toshi said, sticking up for her cousin. "She just likes to find things out. Besides, I think playing Used Car Salesman is pretty weird." "And we used to be adults! That's pretty strange!" Robin chimed in. "Okay, that definitely wins as the most weirdest," Hugo declared. "C'mon... let's go play outside!"

The children ran outside, even Ching Shih. Predictably, Toast made a beeline for the bubble-blower, while Hugo was content to play with his grandmother and Shih to monopolize the swing set. "We gotta get one of these," she said happily. "Just think of all the gravitational and accelerational experiments I could do, Zing!"

"Hugo, man, you're definitely a cool cousin," Zing said as the party wound to a close. "Maybe my parents will let me have a party like this one day, but probably not til we're teenagers. So until then you'll have to throw them all." "That's a deal," Hugo promised. "My parents just looove parties, so I bet they say yes every Saturday!" "Awesome! And hey, maybe next time we can play Used Car Salesman!" Zing said excitedly.

Across the sea and somewhere in a Parisian suburb from Pirate Island, yet another Buccaneer child was about to celebrate a birthday. This one was Toby Biggs, child of Gavin Biggs and Anna Buccaneer. Gavin was the one who was raising Toby, due to Anna being the Grim Reaper in her spare time. It wasn't a career that was conducive to raising a child. "Okay, Holstein, you won the coin toss," James Curtin (the blond) said. "Toss that baby!" Toby was also raised by not one, but many uncles.

And the first thing he did upon growing up was head for the toilet. "Definitely a Buccaneer at heart, that one," Anna declared as she got ready to leave. "It was nice seeing you all... I'll be by to visit again soon!"

"Okay, kid, time to get cleaned up," Gavin insisted, plonking Toby down into the tub. "Playing in the toilet is definitely not cool, Toby. This is a bachelor house. The state of our toilets is beyond belief, kiddo. Remember...Toilets, Not Toys. Got it?" "Toy-ets no toys!" Toby squealed and splashed.

"I see they've been feeding you that radioactive milk again," Anna said approvingly when she stopped by for her next visit. "My, Toby, you're getting big!" "I's glowin' gween, Mommy!" Toby crowed. "Flyin' gween airplane!"

In a pattern that really hadn't changed at all since he was a cooing infant, Toby was hugely spoiled by all of his uncles. They constantly fought over who would give him a bath or tuck him in at night. They were happy to leave the potty training and diaper-changing to Gavin, though.

And all of them pitched in when it was time for Toby to have another birthday. "This is definitely the coolest room ever!" Borealis (the other blond) declared. "I would kill to have had a room like this when I grew up. I just lived in a tiny little duplex with my parents." "Well, bring in the birthday boy!" James said. "I want to see his face!"

"Whoa... thanks everyone!" Toby exclaimed when he opened his presents immediately after blowing out the candles. "This room is awesome! And I love the remote-controlled car! I've always wanted one of these!" "The car is from your mom," Gavin said, smiling. "She had to work tonight, unfortunately, and with a job like hers..." "The dying wait for no one," Toby nodded. "I get it. Is she going to come over soon, though, dad? I want to thank her in person."

In fact, Anna did stop by just a few days later, when Toby just happened to be bringing home his very first report card from school. She and Gavin were both very proud of him.

"Dad... since I got all As can I get a computer for my room?" Toby asked. "When you're a bit older," Gavin chuckled. "Aww..." Toby complained. "Well, I guess I can wait." Then he turned his attention to his mom.

"Thanks for the toy car, mom," he said as they started a game of red hands. "I love it!" "I'm glad you like it," Anna said. "I've never had to buy presents for a boy before so I was worried I'd mess things up." "It was great," Toby said again, his eyes shining. "It can do fifteen different tricks!" "Toby," Anna said hesitantly as the game continued and Toby extolled the rest of the virtues of his car, "would you like to come

with me to visit some of your other relatives some time?" "Other relatives?" "You have quite a few cousins, and some aunts and uncles, and some grandparents who would very much like to meet you in a place called Pirate Island," Anna said. "I'd like to take you there next weekend, if you like." "A whole weekend going somewhere with you, mom?" Toby's eyes got very big. "That'd be awesome!"

Marie took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before picking up the phone. "C'mon, old girl," she murmured to herself, "it's not so hard. You can do this!" Another deep breath and she was dialing the number she'd known by heart for so many years.

When Roche stepped in the door, he certainly wasn't prepared for Marie to sweep him off his feet in a deep kiss - yet that was exactly what she did.

"Whoa..." Roche said, putting his hand to his lips hesitantly. "What was that about, Marie? We talked, remember? No going back down that road." "I know," Marie said. "But I also know that you need just one more dream date to become perma-plat, Roche. I wanted to do something nice for you... something to make up for the horrible way I treated you in the past." Roche stared at his ex-wife for a moment, then broke out into a grin. "Well... I suppose one measly date couldn't hurt, could it? But NO hanky-panky!" "I wasn't even going to mention it," Marie swore.

And, true to her word, she didn't mention that they head off to the bedroom at all - certainly not the way she typically behaved with her dates. Instead, she and Roche relaxed with some Tai Chi. Gertie had been teaching both of them. "You know, this isn't how I pictured my fiftieth Dream Date," Roche chuckled at one point. "I figured I'd be spending a lot less time vertically." "And?" Marie demanded, "Are you saying you aren't having a great time?"

"In fact, I'm having a terrific time," Roche admitted. "You know me, Marie. I'm Pleasure, through and through. While it might take me longer to get a dream date by playing rock-paper-scissors or performing tai chi, I'll get there eventually." "I know," Marie said. "But... surely there's one thing you're wanting more than anything else? Anything I can do to boost this date into the stratosphere?"

"Well, there is one thing," Roche said, looking at Marie tenderly. He kissed her softly on the lips. "Thanks, Marie -- for the good times."

"So this is it, then?" Marie said as she embraced Roche. Roche pointed upwards to the aspiration points floating above his head. "I guess so," he said. "Marie, most of the time we were pretty bad together... but when we were good, we were very good. I'll see you around, okay?" And the two old lovers parted with a final kiss, determined to stay uninvolved with each other from this point forward.

Now that Roche was perma-plat, Marie decided it was time to really pursue her own happiness and the same status for her aspiration. She wanted to woohoo 20 different sims, and she set out to do that with a vengeance. I must say that I am only a chronicler of stories for Pirate Island - I am nobody's apologist, least of all Herc's.

Or Gage's.

Or Armando-the-reporter's.

Or Jerry's. Marie didn't just woo her lovers at home, either - she also took them out on the town so she could 'double-bag' each of them. She felt certain she'd be able to get her ten lovers well before she died of old age.

But while Marie was definitely a Romance sim, there were things that were much more important to her than mere woohoo, and as she prepared for one of them she hummed to herself. "They'll be here any minute!" she said happily to herself as she stirred the pancake batter, sat it on the counter, and covered it to await the arrival of her guests.

A few short moments later, a parade of children between the ages of seven and twelve could be seen marching up her sidewalk to the door. "Come on in!" Marie said happily, opening the door wide and gesturing for her four oldest grandchildren to enter. "Pancakes will be ready in about two minutes!" "Too bad Liv couldn't come too," Hugo said, "but she's still too little. Can we do this again next year when she's bigger?" "Of course!" Marie said, expertly flipping the first pancakes onto the plates the children held out. "C'mon... let's eat!" "Okay," Shih said. "I'll have mine sitting down, please." She pointed at Toby. "Who's that kid?" "That's your Aunt Susanna's little boy, Toby," Marie said fondly. "He's visiting Pirate Island for a couple of days. Isn't that fun?"

"Grandma, why'd you invite us over?" Zing asked as he chowed down on his pancakes. "Because I love you guys!" Marie said enthusiastically. "And because your cousin Toby came to visit just to meet all of you." "How come Auntie never told us that she had a kid?" Zing wanted to know. "That's a pretty major thing to conceal from all of us! Do my parents know?" "I think so," Marie said. "Your aunt has never hidden the fact that she

has a child from the rest of us. But Toby lives in Paris with his dad, like I said before. I'm surprised you've never heard of him! He's in between you and Shih in age, Zing." "Okay," Zing said. He took another bite of his pancakes. "I guess maybe I remember mom and dad talking about him when I was little. So what's he like?" "Why don't you talk to him and find out?" Marie suggested. "Aww, but that would be too easy!"

Ching Shih was doing just that. "I'm Shih," she said. "You're my big cousin Toby, right?" "Well, I don't think I'm that much older than you," Toby said seriously. "We're about the same size. Your hair is longer, though. But that's because you're a girl." The last word was imbued with scorn. "And what's wrong with girls?" Shih demanded. "We're prettier and smarter than boys." "Are not!" "Are too!"

The two exchanged scowls. Then Shih burst out laughing. "Boy, you're easy to tease, Toby. I guess I like you." Toby answered with a shy smile of his own. "I guess I like you too, Shih. I never knew any girls my age before. I just have my dad and all my uncles, and I go to a boys only private school." "That sounds pretty boring," Shih said. "Do you like it?" "I like my uncles," Toby shrugged. "School sucks, though." "Totally. They don't let us learn anything fun, like how many licks to the center of a Tootsie pop."

Zing and Hugo finished their breakfast first and huddled in the corner to discuss Toby. "Well, if he gets along with Shih he can't be all that bad," Hugo pointed out. "I like Shih. She's nice. Well, nicer than us." "Everyone likes Shih," Zing scowled. "Prob'ly she's going to be heiress because everyone likes her. But that's okay, I guess. If she's the heir, that means I won't get stuck with the family debt." "Did they already decide and tell you?" Hugo asked with wide eyes.

"Well, no," Zing admitted. "But Shih's way nicer than I am. So I bet she's chosen." "I'd like it if Shih was chosen," Hugo said. "'Cause you'd do better with the businesses but she's nice so she'd be better for the family." "Gee... thanks," Zing said sullenly. He stomped off to talk to Toby. "What did I say?" Hugo asked, confusion playing across his features.

"Hi Toby," Zing said. "So... how do you like our island? Is it way better than Paris?" "I dunno," Toby shrugged. "Paris is pretty fun but I haven't seen a lot here yet. Mom just dropped me off on her way to a business call." "What does your mom do anyway?" Zing asked. "Nobody will ever tell me!" "Oh, she kills people," Toby shrugged. "I mean, she's the Grim Reaper. But I don't know the details."

"That's kind of cool, I guess," Zing said. "She only kills old people, right?" "Old people and stupid people," Toby said. "Like ones who set themselves on fire." "But won't they die anyway?" Zing asked. "Nope," Toby said. "Mom has to be there or nobody can die." "Wow... Auntie Anna is coooool," Zing breathed.

"I hope Toby can come visit all the time, Hugo," Shih said. "He's pretty cool. Hey, wanna play Red Hands?" "Aww... but you always win!" Hugo complained. "At least when I play against Liv she lets me win sometimes." "I can't test my hypothesis that girls are inherently superior if I let you win, can I?"

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be the nice one!" "Hugo?" "Yes, Shih?" "You're pathetic. It's fun to push you around." "I know," Hugo grinned happily. "C'mon, Shih... let's SMUSTLE!"

"Toby, it is now time to smustle," Shih said, wandering back over to where her Parisian cousin was singing a sea chantey. "C'mon! Let's go outside! Hugo! Zing! Grandma!" "Have some patience, dear," Marie chuckled. "We're coming!"

The children bounced outside, Shih bringing up the rear, and smustled until their parents made them go home.

Elsewhere, dark clouds begin to stir on the horizon, and vaguely gothy plotty types make sweeping sinister statements in art galleries... "It is obscene how far downhill the legacy family has gone since our line left them," Octavia Toyonaga complained in a petulent voice. "They are soft. Weak. They do not deserve to rule Pirate Island."

"What this place needs is Roman rule," Septimus concurred. "But how are we to bring this about, sister mine? We've all been disqualified from the heirship since Grandmother Elisabeth moved away from the legacy household and married Grandfather Shannon." "Grandmother Elisabeth was not a Roman like us," Octavia said. "She did not desire power or fame." "We are Roman," Septimus agreed. "We deserve to rule this island, but we are too old to be acclaimed by the people. We need someone the same age as the sixth generation, my sister. A pawn." "But who?" Octavia asked. "A Roman, to be sure... but how many Roman children are there?"

"I know exactly the child," Septimus said, scowling. "He will be perfect. He is the newest heir of Toyonaga manor, my dear sister. And his name is..."

"Justinian," Octavia breathed. === To Be Continued...