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What I Would Like To Tell You But Am Afraid

To SayA Parent’s Guide to Early Drug

Prevention in Children 8-10 Years Old

BY JENNIFER FOSTER

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about the author

jennifer fosterJennifer is a career educator who lost a family member to drug addiction

and started a mission to educate others on the horrors of drug abuse.

In addition to advocating early drug prevention for children, she has

developed a series of at-home instant drug tests that can be used quickly

and easily in the privacy of the home. She has also spoken about her

experiences and secret drug testing on a number of radio interviews and

at personal speaking engagements.

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CHAPTER 1

INTRODUCTIONWhy educate so early?

Before beginning my work on this book, I had many parents asking if it was really

necessary to even teach drug prevention to children as young as eight. The answer to

that question is a resounding, “Yes!” Studies have shown that children as young as six are

smoking marijuana, taking prescription pills, and drinking alcohol. In 2001 Nickelodeon

conducted a national Survey of Parents and Kids, and 44% of children between the ages of

eight and eleven said that alcohol or drugs was a “big problem” for people their age.

It isn’t enough to tell our children that drugs can kill them. We need to tell them why, and

we need to tell them truthfully and candidly. It is up to us to teach our children about the

obstacles they will face while growing up. It is our duty to help our children through the

minefields of peer pressure and drug and alcohol abuse. Studies have shown that children

are 50% less likely to use drugs and alcohol when they have parents talking to them

about the real dangers of drug abuse and addiction.

I have experienced the crisis of drug addiction first hand. I lost my older brother to an

overdose and have now dedicated myself to helping parents who need to know whether

their child is using drugs or not. Drug use can lead to horrible results. I know that for a fact.

Awareness and conversation are priceless tools when it comes to parenting. The key to

keeping your children from abusing drugs and alcohol is stopping them from ever trying

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it. This is where conversation is invaluable. Real awareness of your children’s thoughts,

actions, and friends does not have to come from going through their cell phones, searching

their bedrooms while they are not at home, or scouring through their computer history. No,

really knowing your children begins with age appropriate, truthful revelations beginning

even before they can hold a conversation.

It is not as hard as you may think to talk about drug and alcohol abuse with very young

children. Opening the door to candid and honest communication between yourself and

your children while they are young will allow you to have a very real relationship with them

as they grow into adulthood. Regular interaction with your children not only builds a strong

bond it allows you to know your child well enough so that you may recognize the signs of

drug and alcohol use if necessary.

Let’s face it; “Just say no” is not working. Children around the country are offered drugs

beginning as early as elementary school. Telling our children to just say no is not enough.

We have a drug epidemic around the world and stopping it begins with our children.

We need to tell our children the truth about drugs: drugs ruin lives. We need to tell and

show our children what drugs do to people who choose to use them. Talking openly to

young children about the dangers of drugs is vital in today’s society. It is up to us to teach

our children about the obstacles they will face while growing up. It is our duty to help our

children through the minefields of peer pressure and drug and alcohol abuse.

Awareness and conversation are priceless tools when it comes to parenting. The key to

keeping your children from abusing drugs and alcohol is stopping them from ever trying

it. This is where conversation is invaluable. Real awareness of your children’s thoughts,

actions, and friends can be obtained easily by talking to your children. Spend time with

them doing things you enjoy and listening to everything they have to say.

Learn their friend’s names.

Spend more time listening than talking.

Never miss a teachable moment.

Open the door to candid communication between yourself and your child while they are

young. Build a relationship with your child based on honesty and always being yourself.

Talking to very young children about drugs is not as hard as you may think. For instance,

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every child has had a bad cough or fever at one time or another that required some kind of

cough medicine and/or a fever reducer. It is extremely easy to tell a five year old as you are

giving him or her medicine how very dangerous medicine can be if not taken exactly like

the doctor has told you to take it.

You do not have to shield your child from technology or the media. Use it to begin

talking to your child about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. Use it to show them the

world as it really is and then talk to them about it. Watch TV shows and visit websites such

as Vanguard, which is a no-limits documentary series that immerses viewers in global

issues that have a large social significance. Vanguard takes viewers on in-depth real life

adventures in pursuit of some of the world’s most important stories.

Be aware of what your children are watching and watch it with them. If people are

drinking in a commercial, the opportunity to have a quick chat about alcohol has risen. If

they are young, telling them that drinking too much can cause cirrhosis of the liver and

injuries sustained in automobile accidents is not going to make much sense or bother them

at all. Instead say something like, “That may look fun, but they are not showing you how

sick it can make you.” Telling them that alcohol makes people throw up and gives them

terrible headaches is something they will understand and wish to avoid. No one likes to be

sick, especially kids.

Use the media to begin talking to your children about the dangers of drugs and

alcohol. You do not have to shield your children from technology and the media; instead,

you should use it to show them the world as it really is and then talk to them about it.

The bombardment of commercials for prescription medicines is unbelievable. However,

there are also just as many attorneys putting together class action law suits for terrible

things including death advertising with phone numbers such as 1-800-bad-drug. Seeing a

commercial like that while watching TV with your children is the perfect time to bring up

prescription drug abuse.

Celebrities can also be great role models for children. Talk to your child about his or

her favorite celebrities. Tell them who your favorite celebrities are and why. For instance,

Taylor Swift is honest, hard working, and very successful; she is achieving her dreams while

remaining the same sweet, down to earth girl she has always been. Not only is she beautiful

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and talented, Taylor truly cares about others and is living a drug-free life.

Are you wondering where a child of 11 or 12 would even get drugs? Studies show that

children today begin using drugs by raiding the medicine cabinet at home or getting drugs

from friends, their friend’s older siblings, and other children at school. A lot of children in

today’s society are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and given powerful narcotics to help

them pay attention and stop their minds from racing. These children sometimes are given

access to their medicine and may take too many, or sell them at school to make easy money.

Prevention is the way to ensure your child grows up healthy, happy, and successful. We all

want our children to achieve their dreams and if they become involved with drugs that is

nearly impossible. Drug addiction happens without warning; it does not discriminate and is

a devastating disease that affects everyone involved in the addict’s life.

As a parent, you should learn the signs of abuse so that you are aware as to what your

child may be doing. Later in this book we will tell you what the signs are and what to do if

you think your child may be using drugs. I hope that you will never need this information,

but it is always best to be prepared. As hard as it may be to admit that your child has a

problem, the best thing you can do if your child has a drug addiction is to get help quickly.

The faster your denial ends, and treatment begins, the better a person’s chance of

recovery. It is okay to ask for help; you need to take control to save your family. Drug

addiction is a disease that can happen to anyone. It does not make someone a bad person or

mean that bad parenting was involved. Trust me, I’ve experienced it firsthand.

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CHAPTER 2

ROBBIE AND MEA story of addiction, despair and loss

The phone call came on 6/8/06. If you’re a parent with a concern about whether your child

is using drugs, you will relate to the next part of this story. First off, you know what I mean

when I say “THE” phone call. If you have a child in trouble, you dread having the phone ring

and you are in constant fear of the fact that it could be the police, hospital, family member

or worse; the morgue.

I watched the news on 6/6/06 (the superstitious “666” date) at 11pm and made a brief

mental note at the end of the newscast, “Good, no calls today and nothing happened on the

news.” When I got the call two days later that my mother and older brother found Robbie

dead on the 2nd floor of his house, I soon learned that he had been dead about two days --

since 6/6/06. And his story became part of a bigger news story as there were several heroin

deaths that week and one other death on the same day.

I will never forget the sound of my mother’s agony-ridden voice. Shrill. Panicked. Loud.

“Jenny, Robbie’s dead.” I raced to his house, calling off work from the car. I had a sense of

impending doom as I arrived and parked down the street due to the police and emergency

vehicles jamming the narrow street. The news media surrounded his house and approached

me like a bunch of hungry vultures forcing me to run past them and slam the door in their

hungry faces while holding microphones in hand desperately trying gather information

tidbits on yet another tragedy. My mother and brother found him after nobody heard from

him for a couple of days. This was nothing unusual but mother’s intuition had kicked in and

the fateful search ended with finding a beloved son and brother dead on the floor of his row

house in an urban Pittsburgh neighborhood.

Who wants to live this life of constant worry? I sure don’t. I’ve already lived it with my

brother and I have a daughter who is seven years old. Even as I’ve dedicted much of my

free time over the last six years to early drug prevention, I still believe that “it won’t happen

to me.” This has been a shocking revelation for me. I don’t want to repeat history. As I

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approached the problem of preventing young children from using drugs, I too believed

my child was insulated from the problem because I’m a caring, concerned, loving involved

parent. Not so! I’ve read riveting accounts of parents who did all the right things and their

precious child still fell victim to addiction.

If you’re open to preventing drug use, I hope you will be open to using drug tests as

a tool. I have an instant drug test product to sell at SecretDrugTest.com which will help

parents indentify drugs quickly, easily and accurately. The process is simple. Parents open

the all-inclusive test kit, use the small paper wipe to wipe surfaces that may contain drugs

(or drug residue), apply a few safe, non-toxic drops and compare the color reactions to the

instruction sheet. It’s a drug test that gives answers without asking your child for a urine

specimen. It’s a drug test that will give you instant results so you know what’s going on.

But, more than the fact that I’m selling drug tests, I want to you know that I’m offering a

unique tool to parents that was not available to my mother in the 1970s, when my brother

started using drugs at age 15. She did not have the resources available on the Internet, an

informed pediatrician, or a support group to discuss her concerns. She was an island and

did not know what to do to stop her child from experimenting with drugs. The experiment

lasted 35 years until it tragically ended with his accidental overdose.

Parents have legal rights regarding their minor children. Your efforts are much more

effective in these formative years than anything you can do once they become young adults,

especially when they are emancipated from your parental authority.

I wish to give parents the tools that my mother did not have. She stated, “When the boys

(my brothers) started doing what they did back in the 1970s, there was no help. There was

nobody to turn to. There were no drug tests like the ones you are selling. I didn’t have

anybody to help me.”

Seriously, think about the ‘70s coming on the heels of the ‘60s. My parents didn’t know

anything about drugs. The neighbors weren’t having similar problems. The pediatrician

said that Robbie was probably suffering from depression. Remember, this was the 1970s,

people didn’t get much help for depression either and this was a teenager. Fast forward to

today.

Therefore, my focus is on the parents. The parents are critical factors in deterring

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childhood drug use. Be concerned. Be Aware. Be informed.

What brought me to my decision to help parents face up to the real threat of drugs on

their children’s lives? My older brother died of an overdose at the age of 50. My premise is

that drug addiction begins in the teen years. For our family, this went on for 35 years and it

continues to be a miserable experience even years after his death. My mother had no tools

like drug tests. Pediatricians were uninformed and none of the neighbors had these things

going on in their homes so they were unavailable. Shame is a big problem for families with

drug problems… which is unfortunate because help is required! Burying your head in the

sand will not make the problem go away. After 35 years of watching the addiction take hold,

I’m still in its grips as I dedicate my valuable time and energy to helping parents prevent

their lives and the lives of their children from ruination, despair, heartache, and years of

struggle.

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CHAPTER 3

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMSWhat you need to know about drugs

As a parent you should learn the signs of drug use and abuse so that you may be aware as

to what your child may be doing. Parents need to know what their children are doing with

regards to drugs and alcohol. It is your job as a parent to do everything in your power to

keep your children from using and abusing drugs and alcohol. We know that children begin

using drugs and alcohol either by raiding the medicine cabinet and kitchen at home, or by

being offered them by other children. Lock your prescriptions and liqueur cabinets. Tell

your children why they are locked -- because taking anything not prescribed to you by your

doctor can be deadly. Tell them it is illegal to drink alcohol unless 18 or 21, depending on

your state. Explain that it is illegal unless you are old enough because children’s bodies are

not capable of digesting alcohol yet. Drinking at a young age puts children at a very high

risk for alcohol poisoning.

Pay close attention to who your children are friends with as well. We all know that kids can

be very easily talked into doing things if their friends are doing it. Talk to your children’s

friends, meet their parents and know how to contact them in case you should ever need to

do so.

Signs and symptoms to watch for:

Chews gum or mints to cover up breath

Uses cologne or perfume to cover up smell of smoke

Uses over-the-counter preparations to reduce red eyes and nasal irritation

Reckless driving, car accidents, or unexplained dents in the car

Avoids eye contact

Locks doors

Shows loss of interest to school work

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Slipping grades at school

Frequently has a runny nose or nose bleeds

Vomiting

Headaches

Frequent sickness

Sudden or dramatic weight loss or gain

It is easy to overlook some of these signs and symptoms as normal teenage or adolescent

behavior. But as one mother of three explained, “For my family, the signs were vividly

present yet camouflaged with aspects of what appeared to be just teenage behaviors.

Looking back I realized, with great anguish, how my stepdaughter’s disease of addiction

manifested right before our very eyes as early as high school.”

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Top reasons kids give fornot talking to their parents

1. I’m scared that you’ll be mad.Young children are normally afraid of getting into trouble. Your child may have

been offered drugs and be afraid that you will get angry if he or she tells you about it. Children are sometimes anxious about bringing up subjects such as drugs, sex, etc. to parents. They oftentimes view these topics as forbidden and may believe that if they mention drugs to you it will make you angry and you will think they have been doing them.

2. You don’t listen to me. No matter what I say, you never hear me.Children do things that they shouldn’t do and as parents it is our job to tell

them not to do it again, and what consequences they will face if they do. Children sometimes react by saying they had a good reason for what they did or that someone else did it first so they thought it was okay. When we refuse to explain the flaw in their logic, they perceive it as not listening to them.

3. I don’t want to talk to you about that. It’s embarrassing.It is embarrassing for most kids to talk to their parents about important issues

such as drug abuse. The only way to help your child not be embarrassed is to begin an ongoing dialogue with them when they are young. If you begin talking to your child when he or she is very young about potentially embarrassing topics, they will get used to it and it won’t be embarrassing.

4. You won’t understand anyway. You never understand me.Sometimes we make our children feel like we don’t understand them. As parents

we don’t even realize we are doing it, but it happens something like this Your child comes home from school very upset. You ask what is wrong and after some prodding he or she begins to tell you a very long story that boils down to they had an argument with a friend. Since we are adults we know that arguments happen, especially between children. We also know they usually resolve themselves fairly quickly. So we say something like, “Oh it’s okay, people have arguments.” or “You’ll be fine. The two of you will figure it out.”

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Tips for better communicationbetween you and your child

Actively listen and teach your child to do the same. Convincing your child that you are listening and that you understand can be done by waiting until they are finished talking before you speak yourself. It is imperative that you do not interrupt your child. Once he or she is done speaking you can say something like, “So what you are saying is...” and paraphrase the main idea or ideas you just heard them express. This is important because children sometimes have a hard time saying exactly what they mean. Communication skills are learned skills, and are not usually taught at school. So it may take a few back and forths to understand what your child is saying and to convince your child you listened and understood them correctly.

Never interrupt. Remind your child that interrupting someone is rude and is not listening at all.

Give your full attention to an important conversation and demand the same.Do not judge or lecture. Children and adults alike quit listening when another

person is judging or lecturing.Communicate through writing. If you and your child are having a hard time

understanding one another it may help to write the conversation down, like in a letter. Writing ensures that everyone gets a turn to say what they want, no one is interrupted, and every word has to be read so there is no way someone can stop listening. Have your child go first and bring you what he or she has written. Then using the same paper, try paraphrasing what your child has written to make sure that you understand what he or she means. You can do this by typing on the computer as well. Open Word or Notepad and allow your child to type first and then you type back. It’s important to use the same paper or document because it is then easy for both parent and child to go back and read the entire conversation if necessary.

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CHAPTER 4

PEER PRESSURE AND INFLUENCEThe value of never trying a drug, no matter what!

The offer to try drugs will come. Where and when is a mystery. Friends, family, older

siblings of your friends, acquaintances or a kid that you’ve just met… all can be a source

of the offer to try drugs. It’s best to say “no.” Here are some tips on “how to say no.” Lots

more information on why to say no (eluded to in the death, addiction, health problems…

now make it hit closer to home and talk about losing friends approval, making new friends

who are just using you for your money, etc. (general nastiness that an 8-10 year old finds

important- as death is likely to not impress them).

It is important as parents to know what our children have heard about drugs and what

they believe to be true. You need to address any misconceptions your child may have about

drugs and drug use.

Common misconceptions children have include:

1. Everyone else does it and nothing bad happens to them.

Children who have friends that are using drugs may believe that everyone is doing

it. National surveys show that the vast majority of young people reject drugs. Children

oftentimes believe if their friends are doing something, than everyone is doing it.

To a child the world is not that big. Their world consists of their family and their friends.

If they see friends using drugs and nothing terrible happening because of that drug abuse

then they may believe it is safe to do. Children lack the ability to associate a person’s

changing personality and dropping grades with their drug use.

That is why it is so important for parents to talk about it at home. Tell your kids everyone

does not do drugs and what the consequences for someone who does use may be.

2. It’s medicine so it’s not bad for me.

Children believe that if a doctor gives someone medicine, then it must always be safe for

them to take. Why wouldn’t they think that? We give them medicine when they are sick so

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why can’t they just go ahead and take it now? Children don’t normally read medicine bottles,

so they don’t know that medication is only to be taken by the person it was prescribed for

and that it says on the bottle how much to take and how often. Read the bottle to your child

next time you give him or her medication.

Explain to your child that if the directions on medication are not followed, a person

can get very sick. Have age appropriate learning moments like this with your children

throughout their adolescence.

3. If you don’t do something everyday you can’t get addicted.

Addiction happens before the person it happens to has any idea that it is happening.

Many people have become addicted to drugs believing that they couldn’t, as long as they

didn’t do it every day. This is a common misconception among high school kids. They will

do a drug every 3 days believing they will not get addicted that way. The only way to ensure

you don’t become addicted to something is to never use it.

Make sure your child understands that you do not have to use a drug every day to become

addicted to it. If it were that easy to avoid drug addiction then it likely wouldn’t be a

problem.

4. I don’t want to be a drug addict, so I’ll just quit before that happens.

No one makes up their mind that they would like to become a drug addict. That isn’t one

of the choices on career day. Tell your child that people do not wish to become addicted to a

drug; that is why drugs are so dangerous. Drug addiction can happen to anyone, anywhere,

and at anytime.

5. It’s not going to hurt anyone else.

Children do not have the tools to see how their own drug abuse could affect anyone but

them. They have not yet experienced the world enough to understand completely how one

person’s actions can affect another person.

Take a minute to ask your child if anyone has ever said or did anything that hurt their

feelings. Then ask them if they see how what someone else says or does can hurt others.

6. What’s the big deal? It’s not like it’s going to kill me or anything.

Children tend to exaggerate stories they tell and the things they say, such as how fast they

run, how much time they have spent been doing home work, and how long it takes to do

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chores.

So they oftentimes believe that parents are exaggerating the dangers of drugs. They

may even think that should they ever become addicted they will just go to rehab and get

cured. After all, a commercial running lately shows swimming pools, a beautiful house with

gorgeous surroundings, and a man tells you to come there and relax and they will cure you

of your addiction.

There are so many celebrities going to rehab that there is a show called Celebrity Rehab.

So what do you do when your child’s idol ends up all over the news being arrested and then

going to rehab? Talk to them. If your child really likes a celebrity that is troubled, ask him or

her why they like them and what they think about the trouble they are always getting into.

7. Marijuana isn’t dangerous. Lots of people use it.

Most children today believe that marijuana is reasonably safe and not addictive. You can

honestly tell your child that marijuana today is much stronger than it was a decade ago.

There has been much more research done on marijuana’s effects, especially on a child’s

brain that is not done growing yet. In fact, a recent study found that those who smoked

marijuana at least four times a week and used marijuana throughout their life saw their IQ

drop an average of 8 points! More kids enter rehab every day for marijuana use than for all

other illegal drugs combined.

Marijuana does not cause euphoria, crazy erratic behavior, nor does it cause heroin

addiction. What marijuana use does is make it easier to get other drugs. People who smoke

marijuana every day or even once a week lose the desire to accomplish much in life. Using

marijuana can lead to being arrested or losing your job.

There is a very real threat of marijuana use causing children and teens to loose the

ambition and drive they have for life. It may very likely lead to children not finishing high

school and never going to college. Tell your child that marijuana is not worth trading their

future for.

8. Taking my friend’s medicine won’t kill me.

There are many children today on medicines for Attention Deficit Disorder (“ADD”) and

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (“ADHD”) These include Adderall and Ritalin.

These make children who really have ADD or ADHD able to concentrate and organize their

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thoughts. However, for those that do not need them Adderall and Ritalin cause them to

speed.

The danger in this is the way these medicines affect kids who do not need them. These

medicines can cause severe breathing and heart problems. Oftentimes young girls will take

these medicines to help them loose weight or control their weight.

These prescription drugs are so easy for children to get today, and so dangerous.

9. I’ll get made fun of if I say no. My friends will laugh at me and won’t be my friends

anymore.

Kids are mean and will make fun of someone for anything. Ask your child if he or she

would want to be friends with someone that made fun of them. Take the time to teach your

child that what we think of ourselves is important. What other people may say or think does

not matter if we are happy with ourselves and our decisions in life.

10. I want to take drugs so I’ll feel good.

Natural highs do exist. Studies show that exercise, deep tissue massages, and laughter all

cause endorphin levels in our brain to increase, making us feel more relaxed and happier.

That is exactly what drugs do.

Remind your child that drugs only make a person feel good for a very short time.

Eventually an addict is miserable unless he or she has drugs to make them feel normal

again. While things such as skateboarding, snowboarding, biking, sky diving, surfing and

even climbing will give you a natural high and never make you feel bad.

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CHAPTER 5

REAL STORIES OF DRUG ABUSEIt’s not just talk -- this is what happened to real people

Brandon, 13

Brandon was a normal seventh grader growing up in Western Pennsylvania. He enjoyed

playing football and video games on his Xbox 360. But then he tried a new drug called

“spice,” or synthetic marijuana, that mimics the effects of marijuana. After smoking it, he

developed nausea, a full body rash, headaches and high fever. The substance caused a

chemical burn in his lungs. He was rushed to the hospital.

Brandon’s parents found some of the drug in his room after he was hospitalized. They had

no idea what “spice” was or that their 13-year-old had even used drugs.

For four months, Brandon remained on life support at Children’s Hospital while he

awaited a lung transplant, before passing away from complications during the double-lung

transplant. His obituary in the local paper read, “Brandon would have been in eighth grade

had he returned to school this year. He enjoyed football, baseball and playing his Xbox.

Brandon is survived by his parents, Ray and Tonya Rice, older sister Raelynn and younger

brother Jayden, as well as grandparents, aunts and uncles.”

Pauviera, 14

Pauviera always wanted to fit in and be accepted by the older kids. When she was at

a party with two friends and was given drugs and alcohol by two older men, she didn’t

hesitate to accept. She and her friends were given alcohol, marijuana and a drink called

“lean,” a mixture of codeine and Sprite.

After partying for a couple hours, Pauviera and her friend went home to her aunt’s house.

She and her friend were dizzy and their eyes were read. When her aunt asked her if she

was okay, Pauveria said she was fine and just needed some air. She and her friend said

goodnight to her aunt and went to bed in her cousin’s room. When her cousin returned in

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the morning, he saw Pauviera’s friend trying to wake her, but she was unresponsive. When

paramedics arrived shortly after, Pauviera was pronounced dead at the scene.

Her obituary in the newspaper ended like this: “Pauviera was known as Pavy (pronounced

Pah-vee) or Sassy. She liked swimming, dancing, playing video games with her 6-year-old

brother and listening to hip-hop and R&B. She attended ninth grade at North High School

in North St. Paul last year. The teen wanted to be a fashion designer and a lawyer, hoping to

make “lawyer money to support what she really wanted to do,” Johnson said. She was feisty,

and her aunt said she told her she should be a prosecutor.”

“What I want to leave young girls with, or any of these kids out here that’s just doing

things to maybe try to fit in ... if you’re feeling sick and you’re scared that an adult’s going

to find out, or you just don’t want to get in trouble, just tell them, just tell,” said Pauveria’s

mother. “And be honest with your parents. Be open.”

Serena, 12

Serena was excited to start seventh grade in a new school and quickly made new friends.

One of her friends was housesitting for a family that was out out of town for the weekend, so

she invited Serena and a few friends over to hang out. The owner of the house, Mr. Johnson,

had pain problems, so he had a supply of painkillers such as oxycodone, morphine and

methadone in the medicine cabinet. All of those drugs are powerful opiods -- even a small

dosage could slow the breathing of a young person, especially a small 12-year-old girl.

After partying with her friends all night and taking a couple prescription pills, Serena

went to bed at around 3 in the morning. By the time her friends checked on her the next day

around noon, she was dead.

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CHAPTER 6

SPEAKING TO YOUR CHILDWhat to say, in a language they will understand

Introduction

You know you mean everything in this world to me and to our family. You are really

growing up and sometimes that scares me. I won’t always be there to keep you safe and help

you make the right decisions.

Because I am older than you, I have had more experiences in life. I have had more things

happen to me, and I have had to learn a few things the hard way. One of the most important

things I have learned is how very dangerous drugs are. Avoiding them all of the time is the

only way to make sure you do not turnI into a drug abuser. Kids who start trying drugs are

going to accidentally hurt themselves in a number of ways.

How? I’ll tell you:

1. Overdosing. Overdosing means taking too much of something; it is like poisoning

yourself. It can cause you to go into a coma or even die.

2. Becoming Addicted. Becoming addicted to a drug is so easy to do. No one gets addicted

to drugs on purpose. Everyone thinks it won’t happen to them. That is how it keeps

happening; everyone thinks it won’t happen to them. Drug addiction can happen to anyone

at anytime.

3. Getting into trouble. I am talking about real trouble, with the police. Getting arrested

and going to jail is something that happens to drug users sometimes. You are old enough to

be arrested no matter what age you are. Getting suspended or expelled from school happens

to drug users too. What if you couldn’t graduate with your friends and go to college?

4. Brain Damage. The truth is that your brain is not done growing until you are about 25

years old. That means that using drugs before age 25 can actually cause your brain to not

work like it should. That is called brain damage.

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These are just a few of the many bad things that happen to drug abusers. I know you have

to make some mistakes on your own, but choosing to use drugs is a mistake that can ruin

your life or kill you. You can be sure none of that ever happens to you by never trying drugs

in the first place.

Think about this: your brain isn’t done growing until you are around 25 years old. So what

do you think happens when you start adding drugs to a brain that is not done growing yet?

What you need to know about drug abusers

A person who abuses drugs is said to have a substance abuse problem or an addiction.

This is where the terms druggie, drug addict, and junkie come from. Substance abuse, or

drug addiction, is a huge problem in many countries today. Addiction is the continued use

of a drug even though bad things are happening because of using the drug.

Many families have a family member with a drug or alcohol addiction. No one is safe from

drug addiction. The younger you are when you begin trying drugs the more risk there is

that you will become a drug addict. I want to say that again because it is so important that

you hear this: The younger you are when you begin trying drugs, the more risk there is that

you will become a drug addict.

Drug addiction puts an entire family through a living nightmare. Drug abusers do things

they wouldn’t normally do because they need drugs just to make them feel normal.

Drug abusers spend a lot of money getting the drugs they need. Sometimes they spend

so much money that they need to steal from other people. Lying is also something drug

abusers learn to do. They lie to hide their drug abuse from everyone. The drugs become

more important than anything else, even friends and family.

That is why it is so important to never try any drugs in the first place. Making the wrong

choice and using drugs the first time can lead to drug addiction. It can happen to anyone,

including you.

Are drug addicts bad people? No, I am not saying that drug addicts are bad people. Drug

addicts are normal people just like you and me that made a very big mistake. They became

addicted to drugs. It happens fast. Drug addiction then causes good people to do bad

things.

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What would you like to be one day? Do you have things you want to accomplish in your

life, like living in a big house, being a doctor, or having a band? Set goals for yourself and

live your dreams. Don’t let anything get in the way of your dreams.

What you need to know about drugs

I know you’ve been sick before and mom or dad has given you medicine, right? Medicine

is only good for you when you are sick. It is very dangerous to take if it’s not your medicine

or if you are not sick. When a doctor gives a person medicine, they are the only person who

is supposed to take it. It is meant to be taken just like it says on the bottle.

A prescription drug is medicine that a doctor writes a prescription for. Prescription drugs

are not anything to mess around with. Just because it came from a doctor that doesn’t mean

it’s safe. It is dangerous to take medicine that your doctor or your parents did not give to

you. It can make you very sick to take medicine that isn’t yours. Even taking too much of

your own medicine can make you sick.

Drugs affect your mind and body in many different ways. Not only can they make you very

sick, but they also affect your grades and your school work. It becomes harder to think of

the right answers. Remembering things that you need to know for a quiz or a test gets really

hard to do if you are using drugs. Studies show that using drugs even a little can affect your

memory. Your brain is something you can’t afford to lose -- you are going to need it for the

rest of your life!

Also, drugs are illegal. That means you can go to jail for doing it. Going to jail costs a lot

of money. Buying drugs costs a lot of money. Drug addiction will cause people to spend all

of their money and need more. Sometimes drug addicts will steal or sell drugs to get money.

That is illegal too. Some drug addicts end up in jail a lot. People can even go to prison for

stealing and selling drugs.

Feeling bad about yourself can cause you to start using drugs or alcohol to try and feel

better. What happens when you use drugs is that you end up feeling better only for a very

brief period of time and then you “crash.” Crashing is just like it sounds - you go from

forgetting that you feel bad (because you are high) to feeling even worse about yourself and

your life.

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Drug addiction also causes people to do bad things. A person with an addiction will do

things that they would never have done before they had an addiction. Your personality

changes and you feel different. You don’t like anything. You feel like there is nothing fun

to do anymore. Your life is so different all of a sudden. You start getting mad easier and

feeling bad about yourself. It gets really hard to have fun. It seems like you just feel really

sad all the time. Sometimes like there is no hope for your life ever getting any better. So

you stop hanging out with your friends. You stop doing all the things you used to love to do

because you don’t love anything now. Drugs have changed your brain enough now that it’s

just too hard to find anything fun to do. This is called depression. Depression is when you

have sad thoughts and feelings. You may feel empty and afraid. Drug addicts all experience

depression and they think the only way to feel better is to use more drugs.

How to say “no” to drugs

It is so important that you learn to say no to drugs. You may be afraid of someone making

fun of you or maybe you think your friends won’t want to be friends with you anymore. A

friend is someone who likes you for who you are. That includes your choice not to use drugs.

You say whatever you feel like you need to say. What’s important is that you don’t give in

and try drugs for any reason. So to help you I’m going to tell you a few ways to say no and

your friends will still think you’re cool:

• “I get drug tested at home.”

• “No, that stuff makes me feel stupid.”

• “I’m allergic to it, it’ll kill me.”

• “I don’t like it.”

• “I’m not getting kicked off the team for that.”

• “No way! I’m not messing up my life for anything.”

You can’t know what a drug will do to you or how it will affect you. Everyone is different.

Even trying a little bit can really hurt you.

Saying no to drugs takes strength. This is a quality everyone would like to have. Having

the strength to make good choices will make you feel good about yourself. That includes

making grown up decisions like not using drugs.

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What would you like to be when you are an adult? Do you have a plan to help you? Having

a plan for your life and setting goals for yourself will help you to make good decisions.

How to ask for help

The world is full of danger and sometimes bad things happen to good people. If you need

help for yourself or a friend it may be hard to know how to ask for it. It is always best to ask

for help before something happens, but it is important after something has happened to get

help right away.

If you need help, asking your friends isn’t always the best idea. Your friends may not have

the right information. Just like you, your friends are young. Something as important as drug

abuse should be handled by an adult. So who can you talk to when you don’t know what to

do?

Is there a teacher or school counselor that you really like and would feel comfortable

talking to? Teachers and school counselors are there to help you with other problems too,

not just your school work.

What about a family member like an aunt, uncle, or an adult brother or sister? Your

favorite aunt or your grandma would know what to do if you needed help.

Approach the person you have chosen to ask for help and ask them if you can talk to them

about something really important. Once you are alone just say, “I want to talk to you about

drugs.” This will get their attention. If a friend needs help or if you need help, close your

eyes, take a deep breath, and tell someone.

The longer a person goes without help, the worse their addiction becomes. Someone who

is abusing drugs needs to get help right away. Drug abuse is a very scary and dangerous

situation.

Have you ever been on the Internet and wondered if you could trust advice or information

you got from it? Knowing which websites you can trust is difficult. One thing you can be

pretty sure of is websites ending in .gov such as http://www.drugabuse.gov. These are

websites reserved for government agencies.

Above the Influence is a good place to look for help. There are phone numbers you can

call to talk to professionals about drug abuse, depression, problems at school, or anything

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that is bothering you.

How I can help you

I am always here to help you when you have problems or need advice. We will say no to

drugs together. I don’t use drugs and I promise you I never will. You need to promise me the

same thing.

I don’t want you to ever use drugs because I love you. Drug addiction is a nightmare. As

long as you live with me, I won’t allow you to use drugs or to drink alcohol. It is against the

law and it is against my rules.

So, here is what I want you to do:

Learn something new.

Have fun.

Don’t grow up too fast.

Make the best choices.

Be happy.