A Fortress &

A Bicycle

A Fortress &

A Bicycle

Marriage in the Baha’i FaithMarriage in the Baha’i Faith

Two metaphors

• What it isWhat it is• The law of marriage is like a The law of marriage is like a fortressfortress

• How to live itHow to live it• Being in a marriage is like riding Being in a marriage is like riding a bicyclea bicycle

• MaintenanceMaintenance

A fortress

A Fortress...

• He established the law of He established the law of marriage, made it as a fortress marriage, made it as a fortress for well-being and salvation, and for well-being and salvation, and enjoined it upon us in that which enjoined it upon us in that which was sent down out of the heaven of was sent down out of the heaven of sanctity in His Most Holy sanctity in His Most Holy Book. ...Book. ...

Not a castle

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Not a palace

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A Fortress...

• When subsequently He was When subsequently He was incarcerated in the fortress of incarcerated in the fortress of Mah-Ku, in the province of Mah-Ku, in the province of Adhirbayjan, ...Adhirbayjan, ...

A Fortress...• According to the descriptions which I have According to the descriptions which I have heard, the fortress erected by Mulla heard, the fortress erected by Mulla Husayn soon became a very strong building. Husayn soon became a very strong building. Its walls made of large stones reached a Its walls made of large stones reached a height of ten meters. On this base, they height of ten meters. On this base, they raised a construction made of enormous raised a construction made of enormous tree trunks in the middle of which they tree trunks in the middle of which they arranged a number of loopholes; they then arranged a number of loopholes; they then surrounded it entirely with a deep ditch. surrounded it entirely with a deep ditch. In fact it was a kind of great tower In fact it was a kind of great tower having stones for the foundation while the having stones for the foundation while the higher stories were of wood …. higher stories were of wood ….

A Fortress...• … … They made openings for many doors and They made openings for many doors and postern gates in order to facilitate postern gates in order to facilitate entrance and exit. They dug wells, thus entrance and exit. They dug wells, thus securing an abundance of water; securing an abundance of water; underground passages were excavated in underground passages were excavated in order to provide refuge in case of need; order to provide refuge in case of need; storehouses were built and filled with all storehouses were built and filled with all sorts of provisions either bought, or sorts of provisions either bought, or perhaps taken in the neighboring villages. perhaps taken in the neighboring villages. Finally, they manned the fortress with the Finally, they manned the fortress with the most energetic Babis, the most devoted, most energetic Babis, the most devoted, and the most dependable available among and the most dependable available among them.them.

A Fortress...

• But in the fortress (Akka) He But in the fortress (Akka) He reared a spiritual palace and from reared a spiritual palace and from the darkness of His prison He sent the darkness of His prison He sent out a great light to the world.out a great light to the world.

A Fortress...

• Therefore His Holiness Baha'u'llah Therefore His Holiness Baha'u'llah fifty years ago, expounded this fifty years ago, expounded this question of Universal Peace at a question of Universal Peace at a time when he was confined in the time when he was confined in the fortress of Akka and was wronged fortress of Akka and was wronged and imprisoned. and imprisoned.

A Fortress...

A Fortress...

A Fortress...

A Fortress...

• … … preserve and shelter me in the preserve and shelter me in the strongly fortified fortress of Thy strongly fortified fortress of Thy Covenant and Testament. ....Covenant and Testament. ....

A Fortress...

• Say: By God! His Law is a fortress Say: By God! His Law is a fortress unto you, could ye but understand. unto you, could ye but understand. ........

A Fortress...

• A truly Baha'i home is a true A truly Baha'i home is a true fortress upon which the Cause can fortress upon which the Cause can rely while planning its rely while planning its campaigns...campaigns...

Characteristics of a Fortress...

• Well-builtWell-built• Solid foundationsSolid foundations

• DefensiveDefensive• Protects from expected attacksProtects from expected attacks• SecureSecure

• OffensiveOffensive• A place to plan campaignsA place to plan campaigns• Prepared to do battlePrepared to do battle

• Nested defencesNested defences• When one wall is breached, others are still When one wall is breached, others are still standingstanding

Characteristics of a Fortress...

• Self-sufficientSelf-sufficient• Wells, granaries, armoriesWells, granaries, armories

• Inner sanctumInner sanctum• Unassailable protected areaUnassailable protected area

• Functional Functional • Not necessarily pretty like a palaceNot necessarily pretty like a palace

• Manned by the bestManned by the best• ““the most energetic …, the most the most energetic …, the most devoted, and the most dependable”devoted, and the most dependable”

Daily living

• We can expect our marriages to be We can expect our marriages to be attackedattacked• By outside forces such as material By outside forces such as material concerns, societal concerns, societal teststests

• Periods of great difficulty Periods of great difficulty • TThe fortress will be damagedhe fortress will be damaged

• Periods of tranquility Periods of tranquility • During which we can repair our defencesDuring which we can repair our defences• We can enjoy each otherWe can enjoy each other

• But in the fortress (Akka) He reared a spiritual palace and But in the fortress (Akka) He reared a spiritual palace and from the darkness of His prison He sent out a great light to from the darkness of His prison He sent out a great light to the world.the world.

• During an attack, where do you turn?During an attack, where do you turn?

Riding a Bicycle

Life is like riding a Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep balance you must keep moving. moving.

Albert EinsteinAlbert Einstein

Riding a bicycle

• Learning to rideLearning to ride

• Driving aroundDriving around• SteeringSteering• Avoiding obstaclesAvoiding obstacles• Maintaining directionMaintaining direction

Learning to ride

• Practice skills in a safe areaPractice skills in a safe area• The community, the 19 Day FeastThe community, the 19 Day Feast

• Training wheelsTraining wheels• Marriage workshopsMarriage workshops

• Falling is part of lifeFalling is part of life• Learn how to fallLearn how to fall• Wear protective clothingWear protective clothing• If injured, turn to your “father”: “In If injured, turn to your “father”: “In caring for its community, a Spiritual caring for its community, a Spiritual Assembly should act as a loving father …”Assembly should act as a loving father …”

Driving around

• Keep your mouth closedKeep your mouth closed• So you don’t swallow fliesSo you don’t swallow flies• To not exaggerate your problemsTo not exaggerate your problems

• Maintain your balanceMaintain your balance• Focus on where you are goingFocus on where you are going

• Know where you are goingKnow where you are going

• Steering is a constant state of Steering is a constant state of adjustment, and helps keep the adjustment, and helps keep the bicycle from falling overbicycle from falling over

Maintenance

Maintenance

• When the fortress is demolished it When the fortress is demolished it is hard to rebuildis hard to rebuild

• When a bicycle is broken it is When a bicycle is broken it is hard to repair, and it is tempting hard to repair, and it is tempting to simply buy a new oneto simply buy a new one

Maintenance

• Maintaining a fortressMaintaining a fortress• Keep well-stocked with provisionsKeep well-stocked with provisions• Rebuild the walls after an attackRebuild the walls after an attack• Check the foundationsCheck the foundations

• Maintaining a bicycleMaintaining a bicycle• Adjust the steeringAdjust the steering• Adjust the brakesAdjust the brakes• Oil and grease where necessaryOil and grease where necessary• Tighten everythingTighten everything

Maintenance

• Do it yourself …Do it yourself …• ConsultationConsultation• Daily prayersDaily prayers• Active communicationActive communication

• Or go to a specialistOr go to a specialist• Local spiritual assembly (counselling Local spiritual assembly (counselling committee)committee)• The loving fatherThe loving father

• Professional counselorProfessional counselor

• Take the time to do it properlyTake the time to do it properly• Year of waitingYear of waiting