A Fairy Tale About A Priest And His Worker Big Dick
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Transcript of A Fairy Tale About A Priest And His Worker Big Dick
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Big Dick
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Once upon a time there lived a priest
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which was the finished skinflint.
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The priest had gone to market to search for some wares.
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He met Big Dick there, who went where his fancy took him.
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"Why, father, have you got up so early?
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What are you looking for?"
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The Priest said to him in reply:
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"I need a hand - the jack of all trades.
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But where could I find such worker at a reasonable price?"
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Big Dick said: "I shall serve you splendidly, diligently
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and properly for three flicks a year on your forehead,
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by the way, I shall eat the boiled spelt".
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The priest had become thoughtful,
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he began to keep scratching his forehead.
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After all, there is a flick and a flick.
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However he had made up his mind to take a risk.
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The priest said in reply to the worker:
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" Agreed! It will not be unprofitable for both of us.
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Just live for a while at my farmstead
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and show me both your zeal and agility".
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And so the worker lived at the priest home.
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He slept the sleep of the just on straw.
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He ate as much as four men did,
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but he worked for seven ones to fill in.
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By daylight he already had all things coming right.
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He would harness a horse and plough a field,
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heat the stove, buy up all and stock up with everything,
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boil an egg and then peel it, cook porridge and mind a baby.
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The priest's wife could not praise Big Dick enough,
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the priest's daughter merely longed for him,
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at the same time by the priest's son he was called Daddy.
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Only the priest, thinking quite often of payment,
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did not like the worker and never said a good word to him.
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The time went by and the due date
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was already round the corner.
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The priest neither ate nor drank, nor slept at night.
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His forehead was cracking in advance.
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At last he admitted all of this frankly to his wife:
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"So and so, what have to be done? I am at a loss!"
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Female wits are very ingenious
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and capable of all sorts of tricks.
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His wife said: "I know a way
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how to remove such disaster from us:
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give an order to the worker which he could not exactly fulfill.
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It will save your forehead from punishment
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and leave Big Dick without his payment".
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It became a bit more cheerful at the priest's heart
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and he began to look at his worker rather bravely.
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Then he called out, "Come here,
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my faithful manservant Big Dick.
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Listen to me: devils are obliged to pay me
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a rent for the duration of all my life.
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It could not be found better income than that
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but there are arrears for three years on them.
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As soon as you'll fill yourself with your spelt
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then collect their debt in full".
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Without arguing in vain with the priest
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his worker went and sat by the sea.
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He began twisting a rope and wetting its end in the water.
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There and then the old devil had got out of the sea:
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"Big Dick, why have you, bastard, come here?"
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-"You know, I wish to wrinkle the sea with the rope
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so that you, cursed tribe, to have cramps in pain".
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The old devil had become gloomy.
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"Tell me, why such disfavor?"
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-"How do you mean? You do not pay your rent.
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Just you wait! I'll get you dogs yet!"
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"Big Dick, please stop wrinkling the sea.
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You will receive the rent in full soon.
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Wait a bit, I will send my grandson to you".
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The worker thought to himself:
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"To cheat that one, it's a piece of cake!"
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The messenger imp had come up
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and began to mew like a hungry kitten:
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"Hail, Big Dick! What on earth the rent do you wish?
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We have not ever heard of any rent,
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there was never such grief for us devils.
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Well, so it be - take it, but on condition that
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you will overtake me in the run round the sea."
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The worker had given a laugh craftily:
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"What really are you up to?
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How can such one like you compete with me the very Big Dick?
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What a competitor they have sent!
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Just wait for my younger brother."
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The worker headed for the nearest woods,
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there he caught two hares and put them into his bag.
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He came to the sea again, by the sea he met the imp.
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Big Dick held up one hare by its ears:
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"Imp, you are too young and
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weak as water to compete with me,
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it's just the waste of time.
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At first overtake my brother. Ready, steady, go!"
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The imp and a hare had started running:
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the imp ran along the coast of sea,
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still the other ran home into the forest.
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And so having run around the sea,
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with its tongue hanging out,
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lifting up its muzzle the imp had come running,
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being out of breath and all wet from head to hooves,
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with its paw wiping its forehead
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and thinking to itself: it's in the bag.
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Lo and behold - Big Dick was stroking his "brother":
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"My favorite brother, poor thing,
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you're tired! Please take a rest, rogue".
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The imp was taken aback.
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With its tail between its legs
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it had fairly quieted down.
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It glanced askance at the "brother".
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"Wait a minute, - it said, - I'll go after the debt".
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The imp went to see its grandfather and said:
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"We have got into trouble!
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I was outrun by the younger Big Dick!"
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Then the old devil began brooding.
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Meanwhile the worker had kicked up such a racket
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that the whole sea was agitated.
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The imp had got out: "All right, Big Dick,
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we will send the debt to you - just listen.
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Do you see this stick?
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Who throws it further that one will get the rent.
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Why? Are you afraid to dislocate your arm?
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What are you waiting for?"
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-"Well, I wait for that cloud.
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I am going to fling your stick there and
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at once to get into a fight against you devils".
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The imp was frightened and ran to its grandfather
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so that to tell about the Big Dick's victory.
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Meanwhile that one made a noise again
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and threatened devils with his rope.
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The imp had got out another time,
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"What do you exert yourself?
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There will be the rent to you, if you want..."
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- "No, said the worker, - now it is my turn to make conditions.
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I am going to appoint you a very difficult task.
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Let's see how strong you are.
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Look, there is a gray mare over there.
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Lift up the mare and bear it.
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If you carry she half-mile, the rent will be yours.
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The poor devil crawled under the mare,
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made an effort, lifted the mare up,
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had stepped two steps, on the third one
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had fallen and stretched out its legs.
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Big Dick told it: "Silly devil,
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how can you compete with me?
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You could not carry the mare on your arms,
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but then I am going to bear she between my legs".
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The worker mounted the mare and so galloped a mile away
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that even there was a pillar of dust.
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The imp was frightened and had gone to its grandfather
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to relate about the new victory of Big Dick.
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There was nothing to be done -
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the devils collected the rent and charged
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the worker's shoulders with a sack of gold.
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Big Dick walked quacking now and then.
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Meanwhile the priest, having seen him,
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leaped to his feet and hid squatting behind his wife.
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The worker found him there.
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He had given the rent and began to demand his payment.
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The poor priest had laid his forehead open to attack.
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From the first flick the priest had jumped up to the ceiling.
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From the second flick the priest stayed speechless.
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From the third flick the skinflint was left without his wits.
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Whereas Big Dick was speaking with reproach:
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"You priest should not pursue cheapness".