This article was downloaded by: [McGill University Library]On: 16 December 2014, At: 15:56Publisher: RoutledgeInforma Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954 Registered office: Mortimer House,37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH, UK

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A Community of Belonging: Life as a Filipino AmericanKristell Corpuz aa University of HawaiiPublished online: 17 Oct 2008.

To cite this article: Kristell Corpuz (2002) A Community of Belonging: Life as a Filipino American, Journal of Poverty, 6:4,95-102, DOI: 10.1300/J134v06n04_07

To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1300/J134v06n04_07

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THOUGHTS ON POVERTYAND INEQUALITY

A Community of Belonging:Life as a Filipino American

Kristell Corpuz

Race and ethnicity have been underlining factors in our society, andin the case of Hawaii, ethnicity plays a significant role. When one asks,“What are you?,” most people answer this by stating their ethnic back-ground and their heritage. Some may think of this as an unusual con-cept, but there is great importance in referring to ethnicity. The peopleof Hawaii, who are mostly of minority descent, state their ethnicity be-cause it represents a community of the same background and identifiesone’s identity. In Hawaii, this process is unique because it formulates asense of community and solidarity within a society that possesses anoverflowing mixture of cultures and backgrounds. It is also seen as ashared experience, in which it represents the hardships and difficulties

Kristell Corpuz is an undergraduate student at the University of Hawaii, majoring inAmerican Studies. She is interested in understanding the social life of minorities. As aFilipino in America, she has encountered ill forms of racism and inequality.

Address correspondence to: Kristell Corpuz, 921 Anohea Way, Wailuku, HI 96793(E-mail: corpuzkmg@hotmail.com).

Journal of Poverty, Vol. 6(4) 2002http://www.haworthpressinc.com/store/product.asp?sku=J134

2002 by The Haworth Press, Inc. All rights reserved. 95

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that one had to endure, especially for those who worked during the plan-tation era. On the other hand, the levels of diversity can also be prob-lematic, leading to stereotypes and marginalizing other groups.

As a Filipino American in Hawaii, I have become aware of the ste-reotypes that plague our society. Some may believe that the stereotypesare all fun and games, but they can also be damaging. Earlier, I hadmentioned that stereotyping groups leads to marginalization. And bymarginalizing a group, I mean making them feel less worthy and infe-rior or not amounting to success. In this case, I have experienced the im-pact of being stereotyped and I have observed others who have sharedmy experience.

Like many of those who shared my experience of being stereotyped, Ihave learned to internalize some of the remarks that others have saidabout my culture and ethnicity. For instance, Filipinos of Hawaii areknown for their industrious work ethic. The occupations that most Fili-pinos in Hawaii hold are within service industry jobs or labor work,which are usually dead end jobs. Stereotyping Filipinos as hard workersmight be seen as “positive,” but it can also put us in a confined position,where we consistently have to show our superiors diligence within ourassigned jobs. Because Filipinos are known for their diligence and workethic, I have learned to internalize the stereotype, in which everything Iattempt to do, I should do my best.

Observing my parents’ effort of succeeding, I learned to possess thedetermination and work ethic to achieve what I want. And it is possiblytrue to an extent that Filipinos work hard, but this stereotype can be-come seen as an oxymoron. Within the job market, my people areoverly represented in the low-end jobs, such as maintenance workers,maids, working as restroom attendants in nightclubs, etc. And becausemy people are represented in the dead end jobs, we are stereotyped asbeing “stupid” and “not ambitious.” Although we are constantly work-ing hard to obtain a better future for our families and ourselves, we arealso imprisoned in the same position that we had for many years. There-fore, my parents have put a lot of emphasis on higher education. Theirconcept of achieving a college degree is important to them and me be-cause it symbolizes success, opportunity, and status. And with the sup-port from my parents, I am finishing college so I can gain a better future,but the emphasis of working hard and achieving the most in life is stillpresent. So in essence, I can’t escape the stereotype of working hard,but I can better myself by becoming knowledgeable.

Like every minority group in America, my people have been subju-gated to oppression. In college, I have read a great deal of literature

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about my heritage, from a cultural perspective of the Filipinos to theracism that my people had to endure. One aspect that I was not aware ofwas how my people were treated during the plantation era. I learned ofthe harsh treatment and the subjugation thrust upon my people. When Iread about this, my heart went out for them. Internally, I was crushedand yet I was angry that my people were treated like animals, and I fi-nally understood what my late grandfather had endured during his firstyears in Hawaii.

My late grandfather had immigrated to Hawaii to look for a better fu-ture, and because his education was limited, he could not acquire a goodjob, but he believed in the “American dream,” which was to work hardand succeed. And because he had no choice and could barely speakEnglish, he had to work for the white capitalists and slave in the hot sun.My grandfather, who still is my inspiration, never really discussed theissues of working in the fields besides saying, “Anak, narigat ti biag kodita plantacion” (My child, my life was hard in the plantation). Aftersaying that, his eyes were fixed at a faraway place or he would look atthe heavens above. His body was present, but his mind and spirit wereelsewhere. I could never understand why he looked so distant on certaindays until I asked my parents about his life before I was born.

When my grandfather arrived in Hawaii, he never thought that itcould get any worse than his life in the Philippines. However, he wasfaced with the most difficult circumstances. He was ridiculed becausehe could not speak any English or even write a simple English word.The only thing he could write was his name so he could cash his pay-checks. And there were times when people would call him “stupid” or“dumb.” My grandfather was never stupid though. He was a wise andpatient old man who took care of his family. He understood what otherswere saying about him as well as his ethnicity, but he never fought backor uttered a racial remark about other groups. He believed that in timesomeone would put them in their place and make them feel inferior,since that is what others made him feel–inferior.

While I was growing up, my grandfather constantly told me, inIlocano (one of many Filipino languages and ethnic groups in the Phil-ippines), to obtain the greatest things in life but don’t forget what I amand don’t let anyone tell me that I am anything less. With that, I lookedat him with such quizzical eyes, and today I understand what he meant.He meant to be proud of my heritage and ancestry and that I was a prod-uct of a group of people who were culturally rich before our people werecolonized. He meant to speak in my native tongue and never let anyoneforce me to relinquish my culture because my culture is what identifies

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me. My grandfather, who passed away about 3 years ago, did not die asa wealthy man, but he died with a rich spirit and with dignity. Today, heis still in my thoughts and prayers, and I look at his past to give me thestrength I need. He is one of my inspirational forces.

My mother also shares the same inspirational pedestal as my grand-father, and she has greatly influenced my life in terms of being my nur-turer and my confidant. My mother, who immigrated to the U.S., hasalso suffered some of the consequences of being a Filipino in a foreignland with foreign laws. She was not accustomed and never agreed tosome aspects of the American lifestyle. So, when I was born, she re-fused to speak to me in English and spoke to me in her native dialect,Ilocano. My father, on the other hand, disagreed on how she raised me.He felt that it was important for me to grow up being American, but mymother refused to teach me the Western values because of her experi-ences in the American soil.

As I grew older and learned the American lifestyle through socializa-tion with my peers, my mother thought that it was important for me to un-derstand her past in America. She sat me down one day, and with aserious look on her face, she poured out her stories. I sat there tentativelylistening to her and she began to cry. I had never seen my mother cry untilthat day and today, her tearful eyes are still vivid in my memories.

When my mother arrived in Hawaii, she expected to live in a land offreedom and free from poverty. However, she could not expect the un-expected, and her outlook of America became negative. My mother at-tained her high school diploma in the Philippines, and because hereducation was limited and not equivalent to the American standards,she was forced to work in dead end jobs. Before I was born, my motherworked two jobs to make ends meet, and at her work place, she was ridi-culed for being Filipino. Her co-workers taunted her because of her ac-cent when she spoke English and from that day on, she tried to lose heraccent. She attempted to assimilate and become “American,” but shefelt uncomfortable with the new identity that she forced upon herselfand that was forced upon her. So, as a foreigner on new land, shethought it would be wise if she were herself and not live superficially.She began to ignore the remarks that others said about her, and concen-trated on bettering herself in the work place. Eventually through dili-gence and hard work, she got the raise and promotion she was strivingfor and quit her second job. Slowly, the prejudice she feared to face inthe work place seemed to dissipate, but it still haunts her today.

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The issues of racism and prejudice she faced in America had affectedher greatly. Because of the racism she encountered in Hawaii, she be-came rather silent and never spoke about her experiences until recently.Therefore, when I was growing up, she made me conscious of the dif-ferent ethnic groups in Hawaii and how unique each group is. She madeit a point in my life that I should not tolerate discriminatory remarks thatpeople say about my people or about people from other ethnic groups.She emphasized greatly that my people are invisible in the Americansociety and I should not be one who is passive as someone from a racewith no voice. She made it clear to me that there were others who wereignorant about our cultural background, and we, as Filipinos, shouldmake others conscious about our unique culture.

As a child growing up, I was conscious of my cultural background.And when one asks me, “What are you?,” I always refer to my culturalheritage with which I identify. My cultural background and those whowere influential have molded me to become the person I am today, a Fil-ipino American. Without their guidance and encouragement to makeme proud of my ethnicity, I would never learn about my heritage. Myethnicity and culture are essential to me because they define my exis-tence of being Filipino American. And today, I’m proud of my heritageand the accomplishments that my people have made which contribute tothis society. However, during my adolescent years, I suffered an iden-tity crisis.

Like most youths today, I wanted to belong to a certain group, but itwas difficult for me to find a particular group who I could relate to. So,throughout high school, I was mostly alone. I had friends who I hungaround with, but I could never identify with them. And so, I concen-trated in school more than trying to be popular and obtaining a largeamount of friends.

Within the school setting, I felt like an outcast because I was not “tooFilipino” or “too American.” I sort of fell in between, in which I wasAmericanized but also presented my Filipino culture. And because I felthigh school was superficial, I mostly stayed by myself. My friendsnever really understood my identity complex until my history class dis-cussed the issues of minorities in America.

The class was engaged in the conversation, but there were some stu-dents who I thought were ignorant about my culture and heritage. So, Imade it a point to share my cultural background and to educate thosewho were not aware of the colonization period in the Philippines. Some

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students were taken aback with the information I shared, and some stu-dents thought it was okay that other countries had colonized the Philip-pines because it was seen as a backward society. Those who believedthat it was okay for the Spanish and United States to colonize my peopleclaimed that the “Philippines would not be what it is today.” I never re-ally understood the concept of “colonizing the Philippines as okay,” butI made clear to the class that my people have been subjugated to theWestern fist for centuries.

Keeping my cultural heritage alive is important for my family andme. It is our way of communicating to one another and keeping our con-nections close to our Philippine country. If my parents and late grandfa-ther did not acknowledge the importance of being Filipino, then I wouldnever understand who I am and what it means to be Filipino. Therefore,to me being Filipino not only suggests enduring the burdens of being aminority, but also keeping the Filipino values close to your heart. Withthe knowledge of being Filipino, I know who I am and I know where mypeople originated. My people had endured subjugation and racism forcenturies, and today they are liberated from colonial rule. We are agroup of people with diversity and a culture that existed before Americabecame a nation. We are a group of people who are now becoming visi-ble in this society. We speak for ourselves and of our accomplishmentsin a nation where racism affected and still affects us.

Within the Filipino population, there is much heterogeneity. Like thedifferent ethnic groups that exist in America, the Filipino population isdiverse in terms of culture, language, and food. And like America, theFilipinos in general find themselves being stereotyped and affected byracism from the different cultural groups. Take for instance the Ilocanos.In Hawaii, there is a large community of Ilocanos. The Ilocanos immi-grated to Hawaii to look for a better life, but to primarily work in theplantation fields. Their skin is brown from the years of working outsideand doing manual labor work. Now take the Tagalogs. Unlike theIlocanos, the Tagalogs generally have a lighter complexion and tend tocarry the Spanish physical characteristics. They are seen as more Span-ish European because of their language and their close ties to the Span-ish heritage.

Within these Filipino cultural groups, racism and prejudice exist. Myexperience only justifies the prevalence of racism within the Filipinopopulation. About three years ago, I had a chance to go to the Philip-pines to attend my grandfather’s funeral. I had my romantic image ofthe Philippine Islands and the people. And because I am Filipino, Ithought I would fit in. However, my experience in Manila changed my

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perspective about the Filipinos. In Manila, there is a large population ofTagalogs and English speaking Filipinos, and because I am Ilocano Fili-pino American, I was seen as an inferior. My complexion, which wasrather seen as dark, gave my cultural identity away. I no longer felt likea human being with equal Filipino status, but felt as if I did not belong.A Tagalog salesperson, who could speak English perfectly, refused tohelp or answer my questions. She simply walked away and ignored mypresence. Because of that experience, I could not help but think aboutwhat I had done to offend her, but she had offended me by simply nothelping me. From that day on, I realized that racism and prejudice werenot only American issues but issues that every society faces.

As a child, my parents have taught me to be polite, obedient, andnever to lash back at my elders. I was always told to say “thank you” and“excuse me.” In essence, my parents wanted me to be a “good” childand to smile at adults when they addressed me. I was seen as an angel toothers. My parents praised me for my obedience and my politeness, butin reality, I felt restricted as the typical Asian American/Filipino “modelminority.” There was another person in me that was dying to come out. Iwanted to rebel against my parents for training me to be an obedientchild, but I was afraid of their authority.

In contrast, my cousins rebelled against their parents, and I admiredtheir courage and outspoken attitude. I wanted to be like them, but Iknew if I were to talk back, then I would receive a whooping from myparents. So, throughout my childhood and adolescent years, I lived thelife my parents wanted. I was polite and sweet to others, and I knew thatothers would take advantage of my sweetness. But when I left home forcollege, I was a different person. All the obedience training went out thewindow. Without my parents’ authority, I felt free to do and say what Iwanted.

When I attended college, I was introduced to alcohol and the sweetfeeling of intoxication. I drank with my new friends and drinking wasseen as a form of socializing. I was having fun for the first time. I wasmeeting new people with different backgrounds and different personali-ties. I became a social butterfly. I no longer was the reserved and quiettype around others. I had gone through another phase in my life, inwhich I thought I was invincible and rebellious. But inside, I felt un-comfortable. Socializing and drinking with friends was fun, but it wasn’tme. I thought that I would find myself through the process of socializingand drinking, but I didn’t. Instead, I found something that I didn’t wantin life, which were fake friends and alcohol. I was on a mission to search

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for something that was more meaningful and truthful. And the only wayI could find it was to look within myself and within my Filipino culture.

For years, my people have been faced with turmoil and now we areslowly speaking out for ourselves. Today, all minorities are speakingout for themselves. Within this society, we live in a system that puts em-phasis on race and inequality and create burdens for all groups of differ-ent backgrounds. However, we are now becoming aware of how groupsare portrayed within the context of racism. It is difficult to say when thissociety will be disassociated from racism and inequality. Racism andinequality have been major issues since this nation was born. My onlysuggestion is to become aware of the generalizations and stereotypesthat infect our society and to be more conscious of how these stereo-types affect certain groups. Therefore, as a Filipino on American soil, Imust learn to dissociate myself from cruel racism and inequality. MyFilipino culture has produced a community that I can identify with, acommunity of belonging.

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