Seshar Kobita (Excerpts)

RabindraNath Tagore

An undiminished classicAccording to the Wikipedia article on it:

“A younger group of writers were trying to escape from the penumbra of Rabindranath, often by tilting at him and his work. In 1928 he decided to call a meeting of writers at Jorasanko and hear them debate the issues.Shortly after this meeting, while writing this novel, Tagore has Amito railing against a much revered poet, whose name turns out to be Rabi Thakur - Rabi is a common short form of Rabindranath, and Thakur is the original Bangla for Tagore. Amito remarks: "Poets must live for at most five years. ... Our severest complaint against Rabi Thakur is that like Wordsworth, he is illicitly staying alive." These remarks aroused much mirth among the reading public, but the novel is also a serious attempt at demonstrating his versatility, at age 67.

Even the theme was novel - after building up their affair and obtaining the blessings of Labannya's employer Jogmayadevi (Labannya served as her daughter's governess but they shared a very close relationship and she was considered Labannya's real guardian), the lovers decide to marry other suitors, without the air of tragedy. In the text, the reason appears to be that they feel that daily chores of living together will kill the purity of their romance:

Most barbarians equate marriage with the union, and look upon the real union thereafter with contempt.[3]... ketakI and I - our love is like water in my kalsi (jug) ; I fill it each morning, and use it all day long. But Labannya's love is like a vast lake, not to be brought home, but into which my mind can immerse itself. [4]

However, this surface text is subject to many interpretations. Rabindranath biographer Krishna Kripalini, writes in the foreword of his translation of Shesher Kabita (Farewell my Friend, London 1946):

[Labannya] releases [Amit's] own submerged depth of sincerity, which he finds hard to adjust to... The struggle makes him a curiously pathetic figure... The tragedy is understood by the girl who releases him from his troth and disappears from his life”

Self-Criticism of "Robi Thakur"

Even today, flipping through the pages I can feel the tug of its seductivepower, its wonderful minimalist narrative structure, and I can nevercease wondering at this man who wrote it at the age of sixty, adopting adeliberately hyper-modern stance, partly a reaction to some criticism ofTagore around then.

By the 1920s, several years after his unprecedented Nobel Prize - the firstin Asia - he had come to dominate the world of Bengali letters; the maincharacter Amito Ray, in fact mocks "rabi thAkur" against whom he brings twocharges:

a. that he has been alive too long, poets who live to be 60+ become copied by others and this cheapens their writing. Eventually, the poet himself steals from his own earlier writings and becomes a "receiver of stolen property." There is no place for "loyalty", we only need freshness.

b. Tagore's poetry is like his handwriting, rounded like the moon or like gentle waves; we should replace it now, and find someone who writes in sharp pointed strokes, like the lines of a lightning, or the pain of neuralgia.

The modernism has not worn off, the language remains as fresh today, aswhen it was composed ninety years back.

I had typed in these excerpts and the translations in the late 1990s, whileI was at Texas A&M. Rita had a copy of shesher kabitA, I think sandIp-dAhad given it to her, and I remember staying up late one night typing thesein. My translations were added a few years later. - AM March 2009

KR Kripalini on shesher kabitA

from the Foreword to his translation, "Farewell, my friend" London, 1946

The author draws an amusing picture of an ultra-modern Bengali intellectual whose Oxford education, while investing him with a superiority complex, has induced in him a craze for conscious originality which results in a deliberate and frivolous contrariness to all accepted opinions and convention. His aggressive self-complacence, however, receives a shock when as the result of an accidental meeting he falls in love with, and wins in return the ear of, a quite different product of modern culture -- a highly educated girl of fine sensibility and deep feelings. This love being more or less genuine and different from his previous experience of coquetry releases his own submerged depth of sincerity, which he finds hard to adjust to the habits of sophistry and pose, practised so long. In the process he manages to strike a new romantic attitude. The struggle makes him a curiously pathetic figure -- one who is being worked against his grain. The tragedy is understood by the girl who releases him from his troth and disappears

from his life.

Excerpts[This novel was written by Tagore at age 67, as a retort to criticism by the younger poets like Buddhadev Basu that he was throttling the development of Bengali Literary tradition with his fossilized style.

The storyline is ultramodern - the lovers amita and lAbanya decide tostay apart so that the daily grind of life does not dilute theirlove.]

---

Je parimAN TAkA tini jamiye gechhen seTA adhastan tin puruShkeadhaHpAte debAr pakShme JatheShTa.

[The estate he left behind was enough to corrupt three generations of heirs.] - p.5 [+2 in 1391 and later editions , when opening p. is 7]

--- [about someone who doesn't like amita]

se chhila iMreji sAhitye romaharShak M.A. - tAke paRte hayechhebistar, bujhhte hayechhe alpa. - p.7

[He had spine-tingling credentials - M.A. in english! He had studied much, but understood rather little. ]

JArA nAmjAdA, tArA or kAchhe baRo beshi sarkAri, bardhamAner waitingroom-er mato; Ar JAderke o nije AbiShkAr karechhe tAder upar orkhAs-dakhal, Jena special train-er saloon-kAmrA. - p.8

[For him, famous authors were cheap and common - like a crowded railwaystation; and those he had discovered for himself were his very own, veryspecial, like a custom saloon-car. ]

--- manTA eman ek rakamer chakmaki Je, Thun kare ekTu Thuklei sfuliMgachhiTke paRe. - p.8

[His mind was so iridiscent, that even a tiny strike would produce aspark.]

---

or chehArATAtei ekTA bisheSh chhAd Achhe -- pAm~chjaner madhye oje-kono ekajan mAtra nAy, o hala ekebAre pan~cham; anyake bAd dieychokhe paRe. ...

sedin piknike gaMgAr dhAre Jakhan o pArer ghana kAlo puNjIbhUtastabdhatAr upare chAn~d uThla, or pAShe chhila lili gAMguli."gaMgAr opAre oi natun chAn~d, Ar e pAre tumi Ar Ami, eman samAbeshTiananta kAler madhye konodin-i Ar habe nA."

prathamTA lili gAMgulir man ek muhUrte chhalchhaliye uThechhila -kintu se jAnta, e kathATAy JatakhAni satya se kebal oi balArkAydATukur madhyei. tAr beshi dAbi karte gele budbuder uparkArbarNachchhaTAke dAbi karA hay. tAi nijeke kShaNakAler ghor-lAgA thekeThelA diye lili hese uThla, balle, "AmiT, tumi JA balle seTA eta bashisatya Je nA balleo chalta. ei mAtra Je bJAMTA Tap kare jale lAfiyepaRla eTAo to ananta kAler madhJe Ar konodin ghaTbe nA." amita hese uThe balla, "tafAt Achhe lili, ekebAre asIm tafAt. AjkersandhJAbelAy bJAMer ei lafAnoTA ekTA khApchhARA chhen~RA jinis. kintutomAte AmAte, chAn~dete, gaMGAr dhArAy, AkAsher tArAy, ekTA sampUrNaaikatAner sr^ishTi - betofener chandrAlokagItikA. AmAr mane hay JenabishvakarmAr kArkhAnAy ekTA pAglA svargIya sJAkrA Achhe, se JemaniekTi nikhun~t sugol sonAr chakre nIlAr saMge hIre ebaM hIrer saMgepAnnA lAgiye ek praharer AMTi sampUrNa karle amani dile seTA samudrerjale fele -- Ar tAke khun~je pAbe nA keu."

[amita and Lilly by the gaMgA p.11-12, amita says:]- The moon across the ganges, and you and I on this side -- in the infinitude of time such an eventuality will never come again. [For a moment Lily's heart overflowed with emotion, but she knew that the reality of Amita's feelings were more in his style of saying it - to read too much into his statements is to lay claim on the rainbow on the surface of a soap bubble. Recovering herself, she said:]- But that frog that jumped, that will also not happen again...- Oh but there is a vast difference! The frog jumping is a random event, whereas you and I, the moon, the river, the starry sky - have all orchestrated a delightful creation, a moonlight sonata! It is as if there is a lunatic jeweler at some heavenly forge who just created this unparalleled jewel-encrusted ring -- and then immediately threw it into the infinite ocean...- That is fine then - you didn't have to pay for his labour!- But imagine, Lily, that aeons later we are standing by some forests edge in some remote planet in this universe, and like the ring from the fishes stomach in Shakuntala, this moment were to reappear before us... what would you do?- I would throw it back into the ocean! amita - who knows how many such creations of the mad jeweller have you thrown away and forgotten!

---

When she enters the room, she does more than increase the number ofpeople there. - p.13 ***

kamal-hIre pAtharTAkei bale bidye, Ar or theke je Alo Thikre paRetAkei bale calchAr. pAtharer bhAr Achhe, Alor Achhe dIpti. - p.14

[The blue diamond stone is knowledge; the light shining from it, thatis culture. The stone is heavy, the light is radiant. ]

[IDEA: In today's world of cross-fertilization in learning, culture isalso increasingly unified]

[At a society for empowering women, amita says] ***- If men were to give up their supremacy, women would establish theirs. The overlordship of the weak is terrible.- What do you mean?? said the enraged women.- He who has the chain, binds the animal with a chain, that is, by

force. One who has no chain, must use a tranquilizer, - that is, mAyA. The man with the chain binds, but does not hypnotize. The druggist both binds and hypnotizes. - p.15

[sisi talks to amita]- sambhabparer janye sab samaye-i prastut thAkA-i sabhyatA; barbaratA pr^thibIte sakal biShayei aprastut.- kintu tomAr nijer mat bale kono padartha-i nei; Jakhan JeTA beshi bhAlo shonAy seiTei tumi bale basa.- AmAr man-TA AynA, nijer bAm~dhA matagulo diye-i chiradiner mato Jadi tAke AgAgoRA lepe rekhe ditum tA hale tAr upare pratyek chalti muhUrter pratibimba paRta nA. - p.25

[- To be prepared for all eventualities at all times is to be civilized. The barbarian is forever caught off guard.

- But you have no opinion that is your own - whatever sounds better becomes your stance.- My mind is like a mirror. Had I covered it all over with my fixed opinions then how would it reflect the colours of every passing moment?]

---

shahare sei chAn~chalyaTake se nAnAprakAre kshay kare fele, ekhAnechan~chalyaTAi sthir haye jame jame oThe -- jhharNA bAdhA peye Jemansarobar haye dAm~RAy. -p.27

[Amid the bustle of the city, his restlessness would be dissipated inmany streams, but in this stillness, bit by bit it accumulated - likea dammed-up waterfall that becomes a lake.]

sadya-mr^tyu-AshaMkAr kAlo paTkhAnA tAr pichhane, tAr-i upare se JenafuTe uThla ekTi bidyutrekhAy Am~kA suspaShTa chhabi -- chAri dikersamasta hate svatantra. ... drawing-room-e e meye anya pam~chjanermAjhhkhAne paripUrNa AtmasvarUpe dekhA dita nA. pr^thibIte haytodekhbAr Jogya lok pAoyA JAy, tAke dekhbAr Jogya jAygATi pAoyA JAynA. - p.29

[Against the dark canvas of immediate death, she stood like afigure drawn in crystal strokes of lightning, separatefrom all else around it... In a drawing room, amid five others,this woman would not reveal herself so completely. Sometimes inthis mortal life one may find the right person for a revelation,but then one may not find the right environment. ]

AmrA chalAr sUtre gAm~thba kShaNe kShaNe kuRiye pAoyA ujjvalnimeShgulir mAlA. - p.32

[On the string of our footsteps we will make a necklace from thebrightest moments as we gather them. ]

utsa jaler je ucchhalata fuTe oThe meyeTir kanThasvar tAri mataniTol. e Jena amburI tAmAker hAlkA dhoyA, jaler bhitar diye pAk kheyeAschhe, nicotine-er jhAMjh nei, Achhe golAp jaler snigdhatA.

When water bubbles out in a spring, that was the innocence of voice. Likethe light smoke of amburi tobacco - the stab of nicotine is gone, just thecool of rose-water.

- AmAr aparAdhI gARiTAke jadi kShamA karen tabe Apni JekhAne anumati karben seikhAnei pouchhe dite pAri.- darkar habe nA, pAhARe heTe chalA AmAr abhyes.- darkAr AmAr-i - mAf karlen tAr pramAN.

- If you can forgive my inadvertent car, wherever you permit me, I can take you there.- There won't be a need, I am used to walking these hills.- The need is mine, to establish that you have forgiven me.

---

- jAnen nA ki - dUre chale gele kataTA asubidhe hay?- kisher asubidhe?- Je hatabhAgA pichhane pare thAke tAr prANTA urdhvasvare DAkte chAy kintu DAki ki bale. deb-debIder niye subidhe ei Je, nAm dhare DAklei tArA khushI. ApnAder niye Je muskhil,- nA DAklei chuke jAy.- binA samvodhanei chAlAi, Jakhan kAchhe thAken. tAi to bali - dUre JAben nA. DAkte chAi athachha DAkte pAri ne er cheye duHkha Ar nei.- kena? biliti kAydA to ApnAr abhyes Achhe?- Ms Dutt? seTA chAyer Tebile. dekhun nA. Aj ei AkAsher saMge prithivi Jakhan sakAler Aloy mil-la. sei milaner lagnaTi sArthak karbAr janye ubhaye mile ekTi rUp srishTI karle. tAr-i madhye raye gela svarga-marter DAknAm.

- AmAr madhye natun JeTA esechhe seTAi anAdikAler purano. bhorbelAkAr ei Alor matai purano. natun foTA bhuichApA fuler-i mata chirakAler jinis natun kare AviskAr- ... pAhArAoyAlAr chor-dharA gol-lANThaner hAsi ...- ek-ek samay eman abasthA Achhe, maner bhitarTA shankarAchArya haye oThe. balte thAke - Ami-i likhechhi ki Ar keu likhechhe ei bhedgyAnTA mAyA. ei dekhun nA Aj sakAle base, haThAt kheyAl gela AmAr jAnA sAhityer bhitar theke eman ekTA lAin ber kari JeTA mane habe ei mAtra svayaM Ami-i likhlAm. Ar kono kabir lekhbAr sAdhya-i chhila nA.... [bai AviskAr] baiyer dokAne bai chokhe pare, ApnAr tebil-e bai prakAshpAy. pAblik library-r Tebil dekhechhi, seTA to baike bahan kare; ApnArTebil-e dekhlum, se Je baigulike bAsA diyechhe. . . . anya kabider darjAyThelATheli bhiR - baRaloker shrAddhe kAMAli-bidAyer mato. Donne-erkAbyamahal nirjan, okhAne duTi mAnuSh pAshApAshi basbAr jAygATukuAchhe. tAi aman spaShTa kare shunte pelum -- dohAi toder ekTuku chup kar, bhAlobAsibAre de more abasar. - p.61

[One can see books in bookstores, but on your table they revealthemselves. A library table supports their weight, but yourtable has made a home for books. . . . Other poets have impenetrablecrowds thronging them - like that on a feed-the-poor feast after arich man's death. Donne's courtyard of poetry is secluded, with justenough space for two souls to sit next to each other. That's why onecan feel so clearly - "For God's sake, hold your tongue

and let me love!" ]

---

marupather saMge Achhe Adh-mashak mAtra jal, JAte seTA uchhle uchhleshukno dhuloy mArA nA JAy seTA nitAntai karA chAi.samay jAder bistar tAder-i punctual haoA shobhA pAy.debatAr hAte samay asIm; tAi Thik samayTite surJya oThe, Thiksamaye asta jAy.AmAder meyAd alpa, punctual hate giye samay naShTa karA AmAderpakshe amitabyAyitA. amarAbatIr keu jadi prashna kare - 'bhabe esekarle kI' takhan kon lajjAy balba 'ghaRir kAm~TAr dike chokh rekhe kAjkarte karte jIbaner JA-kichhu sakal samayer atIt tAr dike chokh tolbArsamay pAi ni.'? - p.65

[The desert traveller with his last half-flask of water must ensurethat not a single drop spills onto the sand. Those who have ampletime have the luxury to be punctual. The gods have eternity, so thesun rises and sets on time. Our tenure is limited; for us,punctuality is an extravagance. When St Peter asks us at the pearlygates - what have you done when you went to earth - how shameful if wesaid "So busy was I looking at the ticking hands of the clock that Ihad not the time to lift my gaze towards the timeless."]

---

nAm jAr baRo tAr saMsArTA ghare alpa, bAire-i beshi. gharerman-rakShmAr cheye bAire mAnrakShmAte-i tAr Jata samay JAy. ...nAmjAdA mAnuSher bibAha svalpabibAha,bahu-bibAher matoi garhita. - p.68

[A famed name is famous less in their families, more outside.Rather than keep the household happy, he is busy in the happinessof the world. Marrying a big name is like too little of marriage,almost as bad as multiple marriage.]

ekhAnkAr nirjanatAr AbaraNTAi lAbaNJake nirAbaraNer mato lajjA ditelAglo. ... kichhute-i kono kathA mane Aschhe nA -- svapne JerakamkanTharodh hay sei dashA.- 64

[The cover of isolation here made Labanya feel as if she wereuncovered. She could think of nothing to say - almost as if her voicewere choked in a dream.]

JA AmAr bhAlo lAge tAi Ar-ekjaner bhAlo lAge nA, ei niyei pr^thibItejata raktapAt. - 65

[That which is a favourite with me is disliked by others; this is thesource of all bloodshed in this world. ]

---

ekhan-i AmAder bhAlobAsAr samadhi tairi karte shuru kara nA -- antatatAr marAr janye apekShA kara. ... jadi ekdin chale jAoyAr samay Asetabe tomAr pAye pari Jena rAg kare chale jeo nA.

Aj dumAs dhare mane mane ghar sAjAlum -tomAke Deke ballum - esa badhu ghare esatumi Aj badhusajjA khasiye fel-lebal-le ekhAne jAygA habe nA bandhuchiradin dhare AmAder saptapadI gaman habe.

---

Amita: sedin JAke AMTi paRiyechhilum Ar Je Aj seTA khule dile, tArA dujane ki ek-i mAnuSh?Labanya: tAder madhye ekjan shriShTikartAr Adare tairi, Arekjan tomAr anAdare gaRA.

[ A: The person on whose finger I had placed this ring, and the person who took the ring off today -- these two people, are they the same? L: One of them was made by the Creator with all his love, and the other was made by you with your indifference. ]

---

re achenA, mor muShThi chhARAbi kI kare JatakShman chini nAi tore.

tor sAthe chenA sahaje habe nA, kAne kAne mr^dukanThe nay. kare neba jay saMshaykunThita taba bANI ; dr^pta bale laba TAni shaMkA hate, lajjA hate, dvidhA dvandva hate nirday Alote.

he achenA, din JAy, sandhJA hay, samay rabe nA -- tIbra akasmik bAdhA bandha chhinna kare dik ; tomAre chenAr agni shikhA uThuk ujjvali, diba tAhe jIban an~jali. -p.67

[O thou unknown, you can avoid not my graspUntil I come to know you.

Knowing youWill not be easy.Not in gentle whisperings, ear to ear.I shall win you -Your hesitation, your doubts -With clear force of strengthOut of uncertainty, out of shame, out of doubt,Into the unforgiving clarity of light.

O thou unknownThe day passes by, it is evening - so little time leftLet a fierce sudden-nessTearing aside all bindings and distanceLight up the flame of knowing youO let this flame consumeMy life. ]

---[describing himself as a suitor]loke JAte oke buddhimAn bale haThAt bhram kare seTuku buddhi orAchhe. ... - p.68

newton-er mato o jAne Je, jn~Ansamudrer kUle se nuRi kuRiyechhemAtra. tAm~r mato sAhas kare balte pAre nA, pAchhe loke fas karebishvAs kare base.

[He has enough sense that one may mistake him as intelligent.

Like Newton, he knows that he has been picking pebbles by the shoresof the ocean of knowledge. But he can't say it that way, lest peoplebelieve it too readily.]

---

bAbA, hese saMsArTAke hAlkA kare rAkhA kam kShamatA nay. - p.69

[It is no laughing matter to make a laughing matter of the wholeuniverse. ]

---dhare nAo lAbaNyake tumi peyeichha. tAr pareo, hAte peyeo jadi tomArpAbAr ichchhe prabal theke-i jAy tabei bujhba, lAbaNyar mato meyekebiye karbAr tumi JogJa. -p.70

[Take it that you already have her. Even after getting her, if yourdesire to have her remains as intense, then I will understand that youare a suitable groom for a girl like lAbaNya. ]---

- bAbA, bibAhaJogJa bayaser sur ekhan-o tomAr kathAbArtAy lAgchhe nA, sheShe samastaTA balJabibAha haye nA dAm~RAy.- mAsimA, AmAr maner svakIya ekTA specific gravity Achhe, tAr-i guNe AmAr hr^dayer bhArI kathAgulo-o mukhe khub hAlkA haye bhese oThe, tAi bale tAr ojan kam nay. - p.71

[(Why does amita always make light of the most sensitive topics?)- Dear, your voice does not have the maturity of the marriage-ready years I worry lest it all turn into a child marriage!]- My mind has its own specific gravity - dense with thoughts, so that the weightiest thoughts from of my heart float up like foam, and appear as light spirited words. ]

---barAdda chhuTike chhuTi bali-i ne. Je chhuTi niyamita, tAke bhog karAAr bAm~dhA pashuke shikAr karA, ek-i kathA. ote chhuTir ras fike hayeJAy. - p.71

[The holiday which is my due is no holiday. Enjoying it is like hunting acaged animal. Those who can't take their breaks in the midst of theirstudies are not learning, they are merely digesting texts. ]

---

[e nAm] raila AmAr mukhe Ar tomAr kAne. ... dui-er kAne jeTA ek,pAm~cher kAne seTA bhagnAMsha. - p.74

[This name lives only between my lips and your ears. . . . That whichis whole between two minds, becomes a fraction on five.

A name is not merely what you hail your coolie with. ] ***

---

tomAr ei chup kare thAkA jena mAine nA diye AmAr sab kathAke barkhAstakare deoyAr mato. - p.78

[This silence of yours is like taking my words and sacking themwithout any further salary.]

- tomAr kathA shune AmAr bhay hay mitA.- bhay kiser?- tumi AmAr kAchhe ki Je chAo, Ar Ami tomAke kataTukui bA dite pAri, bhebe pAi na.

Listening to you I get scared. What is it that you want from me, andhow much can I give you anyway.

---

biyeTA tumi mane mane jAna, JAke tumi sarbadAi bala 'vulgar'. oTA baRorespektebl; oTA shAstrer dohAi-pARA sei-sab biShayI loker poShA jinisJArA sampattir saMge sahadharmiNI miliye niye khub moTA tAkiyA ThesAndiye base. - p. 79

[you know that you consider marriage as something "vulgar". Boring andrespectable - the sanctified process meant for those who put theirwife besides their other possessions and recline content on theirgaddi.]

bhAlabAsAr jore chiradin Jena kaThin thAktei pAri, tomAke bholAte giyeekTuo fAm~ki Jena nA di-i. . . . AmAke biye karte cheyo nA.

[Lord, let me be true in my love - let me not try to delude you inthe slightest . . . please don't ask to marry me---]

---

mAnuSher itihAsTAi eirakam. tAke dekhe mane hay dhArAbAhik, kintuAsale se Akasmiker mAlA gAm~thA. sr^ShTir gate chale sei AkasmikerdhAkkAy dhAkkAy, damake damake. - p.80

tumi ki mane kara nA, Jedin tAjmahal taIri sheSh hala sedin mamtAjermr^tJur janJe shajAhAn khushi hayechhilen? - p.81

[Such is the history of man. It looks as if it were being seriallypublished, but in truth it is composed of gems from the unexpected.The rhythm of creation beats to the drumbeat of the unexpected.

Would you not think that the day tAjmahal was completed, the emperorfelt glad even of Mamtaj's death?]

---[kabitA:] jIbaner uttApe kebal kathAr pradIp - p.81

[What is poetry but the flicker of words in the lamp of life. ]

puruSh tAr samasta shaktike sArthak kare sr^ShTi karte, sei sr^ShtiApanAke egiye debAr janyei ApanAke pade pade bhole. meye tAr samastashaktike khATAy rakShmA karte, puronoke rakShmA karbAr janyei natunsr^ShTike se bAdhA dey. rakShmAr prati sr^Shti niShThur, sr^ShTirprati rakShmA bighna. ... tAi bhAbchhi AmAder sakaler cheye baRo JepAonA se milan nay, se mukti. - p.84

[Man fulfils his life energy through the act of creation, whichdestroys itself to move on to the next creation. Woman moves herentire lifeforce for protecting that which was created, obstructingnew creations in the process. Creation is cruel to protection, andprotection is a hurdle for creation. . . . that is why our highestfulfillment in life is not in union, but in freedom. ]

---

J: amita bhAri chan~chal, se kathA mAni. seijanyei oke eta snehakari. dekho-nA, o kemantaro elomelo. hAt theke sab-i jena paRe paReJAy. ...L: or niyam hachchhe, hay uni peyeo pAben nA, nay uni peyeihArAben. JeTA pAben seTA Je AbAr rAkhte habe eTA or dhAter saMge melenA.

[amita is so restless. That's why I love him so. Look - howhelter-skelter he is - in his hands things are forever tottering tofall ... that which he gets, he will not get. Or he will lose it. It'snot in his character to preserve that which he wins after greateffort.]

---

bhalobAsA khAnikTA atJachAr chAy, atJachAr kareo. . . . bhAlobAsArtragedy ghaTe seikhAnei JekhAne parasparke svatantra jene mAnuShsantuShTa thAkte pAre ni -- nijer ichchheke anyer ichchhe karbAr janyeJekhAne julum. . . - p.86

[Love wants to be tortured, and wants to torture in turn.Love becomes tragic where one cannot remain content in each other'sindependence - where one tries to mould the other according to ones'own wishes. ]

adhikAMsha sthalei AmrA JAke pAoyA bali se Ar kichhu nay, hAtkaRAhAtke Jerakam pAy sei Ar ki. - p.87

[Leave aside those who were born to raise a family - the childrenof the soil . . . There are some who are fiercely their own, forthem, forsaking their independence is impossible. The lover who doesnot realize this loses the person inside through excessive demands. ***

Mostly, what we call getting someone is more in the spirit of thehandcuffs getting the hand. ]

---

Those who are picky, can make friends by leaving out bits and piecesof each person. But once caught in the nets of marriage there is toomuch intimacy - no gaps to hide the bits and pieces in - one has tolive with the entire person. -p.87 ***

---

andhakArer bhay, andhakArer duHkha asajhya - kenanA seTA aspaShTa. p.90

[because it is so blurred, the fear of the dark, the melancholy of thedark, is unbearable.]

---JogmAyA: Aj AmAr mane hachchhe, kono kAle tomAder dujaner dekhA nAhalei bhAlo hata.L: nA, nA, tA bolo nA. . . ek samaye AmAr dr^Rha bisvAs chhila Je, AminitAntai shukno -- kebal bai paRbo Ar pAs karba, emni karei AmAr jIbankATbe. Aj haThAt dekhlum, Ami-o bhAlobAste pAri. AmAr jIbane emanasambhab Je sambhab hala, ei AmAr Dher hayechhe. mane hay, eta dinchhAyA chhilum, ekhan satyi hayechhi. er cheye Ar ki chAi. AmAke biyekarte balo nA kartAmA. [p.90]

[No, don't say that. once I had thought that I was entirely dry - thatI would read books and pass exams all my life. Now I find, suddenly,that I am capable of love. That which I had thought impossible,has in a moment became reality - this is boon enough for me. All thesedays I felt I was a shadow, now I have become reality. What more canone ask? Don't ask me to marry him, dear mother!]

---

AmAr bhAlobAsAr kathA jign~AsA karchha kartAmA? Ami to bhebe pAi ne,AmAr cheye bhAlobAste pAre pr^thibIte eman keu Achhe. bhAlobAsAy AmiJe marte pAri. etadin JA chhilum sab Je AmAr lupta haye gechhe. ekhantheke AmAr Ar-ek Arambha, e Arambher sheSh nei. AmAr madhye e Je kataAshcharJa, se Ami kAuke keman kare jAnAba. Ar keu ki eman karejenechhe? [p.97]

[You ask me of my love, mother? Why, I can't imagine anyone in thiswhole wide world who can love like I have. I can die in my love. WhatI have been all these days, has washed away, every bit. It is a newstart, from now, a start which has no end. Within me this change issuch a wonder - how can I speak of it - who is there that hasexperienced it as I have? ]

---

JAke nA hale chale nA, tAke nA peye kI kare diner par din kATbe, Thikei kathATAr sur pAi kothAy?

She without whom I cannot live, how can I continue for days withouther - who will give me a tune for this very thought?

---

Today I am a monsoon of madness. The weather report tells you of godknows how many inches of madness each day. [p.105] ***

---kabirA priyAr mukh niye-i kata kathA kayechhe.kintu hAter madhye prANer kata ishArA ; bhalobAsAr Jata kichhu Adar,Jata kichhu sebA, hr^dayer Jata darad, Jata anirbachanIya bhAShA, sabJe oi hAte. AMTi tomAr AMulTike jaRiye thAkbe AmAr mukher chhoTa ekTikathAr mato; se kathATi shudhu ei, 'peyechhi'. AmAr ei kathATi sonArbhAShAy, maniker bhAShAy tomAr hAte theke JAk nA.

[amita says, of lAbaNya giving him her hand] the poet sings of theface of woman, but the life that flows in the hand - the lovers'caress, the nurses' cradle - what inexpressible, ineffable, thoughtsare expressed through the touch, through the hand. p.106

This ring whispers my joy around your finger - "You are mine". Thesesmall words it elaborates in the language of gold and jewels. Pleaselet it remain on your hand?

---

sahajke sahaj rAkhte hale shakta hate hay.chhandake sahaj karte chAo to Jatike Thik jAygAy kaShe Am~Tte habe.lobh beshi, tAi jIbaner kAbye kothAo Jati dite man sare nA, chhandabheMe giye jIbanTA hay gItahIn bandhan. - p.107

[ To preserve the simplicity of the simple calls for stern-ness. Easein rhythm demands the discipline of punctuation at the right points.

But greed sometimes pushes past the breaks and throwsoff the rhythm - the union of life becomes a handcuff. ]

---

"priyashisHyA lalite kalAbidhou" [kAlidAsa in raghubaMsha] ***sei lalita kalabidhiTA dAmpatyer-i. adhikAMsha barbar biyeTAkei manekare milan, seijanye tAr par theke milanTAke eta abahelA. - p. 108

Most barbarians equate marriage with the union, and look upon thereal union thereafter with contempt. - p. 108

--

ichchhAkr^ta bAdhA diyei kabi chhander sr^ShTi kare. milankeo sundarkarte hay ichchhAkr^ta bAdhAy. chAilei pAoyA JAy, dAmi jiniske etasastA karA nijekei ThakAno. kenanA, shakta kare dAm deoyAr AnandaTAbaRo kam nay.

[ The poet creates rhythm out of deliberate obstacles. Union must alsobe made beautiful through obstacles. That which is obtained the momentone wishes for it, has no value, it is cheating oneself. To be able topay the steep price is not a small joy in itself. - p.108 ]

---Amer mAjhkhAne thAke Am~Thi, seTA miShTio nay, naram-o nay, khAdyaonay - kintu oi shaktaTAi samasta Amer Ashray, oiTetei se AkArpAy. kalkAtAr pAthure Am~ThiTAke kiser janya darkAr bujhechha to?madhurer mAjhkhAne ekTA kaThinke rAkhbAr janya.

[The mango has inside it the large seed - hard, bitter, inedible. Yetthe firmness of the seed is where the mango finds its soft deliciousform. Calcutta has a stony core, so that the sweetness of its formcan encompass a firmness in its core. ]

---

kichhudUre Jete Jete dujaner hAt mile gela, orA kAchhe kAchhe elaghem~She. nirjan pather dhAre nIcher dike chalechhe ghana ban. seibaner ekTA jAygAy paRechhe fAm~k, AkAsh sekhAne pAhARer najarbanditheke ekTukhAni chhuTi peyechhe; tAr an~jali bhariye niyechhe astasUrJer seSh AbhAy. seikhAne paschimer dike mukh kare dujanedAm~RAla. amita lAbaNyer mAthA buke Tene niye tAr mukhTi upare tuledharle. lAbaNyar chokh ardhek bojA, koN diye jal gaRiyepaRchhe. AkAshe sonAr rAMer upar chuni-galAno pAnnA-galAno AlorAbhAsguli miliye miliye JAchchhe; mAjhe mAjhe pAtlA megher fAm~kefAm~ke sugabhIr nirmal nIl, mane hay tAr bhitar diye JekhAne deha neishudhu Ananda Achhe sei amartyajagater abyaktadhvani Aschhe. dhIredhIre andhakAr hala ghana. sei kholA AkAshTuku, rAtribelAy fuler mato,nAnA raMer pApRiguli bandha kare dile. - p.117-118

[As they were walking together, they came closer and interwinedfingers. The empty path ran through dense forest, and through a gap inthe canopy one could see a snatch of sky free from the house-arrest ofthe mountains, her arms laden with gifts from the settingsun. There the two stopped, facing the crimson. Amita put lAbaNya'shead on his chest, and lifted her face.Tears were rolling down through her half-closed eyes.The gold of the sky, mixed with the rich tints ofmolten rubies, and every now and then a stretch of clear blue throughdiaphanous clouds - as if beyond it is the path to where there is no

body, only pure joy, and its unheard beckoning could be felt. Ever soslowly it became dark. That opening to the sky, like a flower atnight, one by one closed its many-hued petals of light.]

[lAbaNyar] buker bhitar Ananda, Ar tAr-i saMge saMge ekTA kAnnAstabdha haye Achhe. mane hala, jIbane konodin eman nibIR kareabhAbaniyake eta kAchhe pAoyA jAbe nA. paramakShaNe shubhadr^ShTihala, er pare ar ki bAsarghar Achhe. - 118

[Labanya felt an intense joy in her heart, and along with it acongealed lump of tears. She felt as if never in her life would sheever feel the ineffable from so close. When shubhadr^ShTi takesplace at the propitious hour, what need is there for the honeymoon?]

[shubhadr^ShTi = the moment during a wedding when the bride and groom lift eyes ritually towards each other, initiating the union. ]

IrShA karte Ami ghr^NA kari, e AmAr IrShA nay -- keman ekTA bhay. -121

[I despise jealousy in myself; this is not jealousy - just some kindof fear. ]

daler loker bhAlo-lAgATA kuyAshAr mato, JA AkAsher upar bhije hAtlAgiye lAgiye tAr AloTAke maylA kare fele. - 122

[Appreciation from one's own crowd is like a fog - by rubbing its wethands on the pane of the sky, it spoils the clear light of day.

Admiration of friends is like a mist - its wet embrace sullies theclear light of day.]

--hAlkA kare bAm~chAr bojhATA Je baD-Do beshi; Je nadIr jal marechhe tArmanthar sroter klAntite jan~jAl jame. -124

---pr^thibIte Ajker diner bAsAy kAlker diner jAygA hay nA.. . . jIbane mAnuSher pratham sAdhanA dAridryer, dvitIya sAdhanAaishvarJer. tAr par sheSh sAdhanAr kathA bala ni, seTA hachchhetyAger. -134

[Tomorrow's day finds no place in today's home. In life, one firststrives for poverty, then for riches. The last striving isfor renunciation. ]

AmrA tairi kari tairi jiniske chhARiye JAbAr janyei. bishvasr^ShTiteoiTekei bale evolyushan. - p.135

[We create so that we can surpass the creations of the past. In thecreation of the universe this is called evolution. ]

Ami ghar bAniyechhilum. Aj sakAle tomAr kathAy mane hala, tumi tArmadhye pA dite kunThita. - p.141

[I had made a home. But from your words I gathered that you hesitateto enter that abode. ]

mAthAy jhAm~kRA chuler prati tAr saJatna abahela. - p.145

[He had cultivated a very careful neglect towards the curly hair ofhis head.]

chaturmukh tAr chAr joRA chakShe meyeder dike kaTAkShapAt o pakShapAteksaMgei kare thAkben, seijanye meyeder samvandhe bichArbuddhitepuruShder gaRechhen nireT nirbodh kare. tAi svajAtimohamukta AtmIyameyeder sAhAJya nA pele anAtmIya meyeder mohajAl theke puruShderuddhAr pAoyA eta duHsAdhya. - ***

[Brahma of the four faces, looks at woman with his four gazes,simultaneously malevolent and benign. That is why he has created manas an utter fool when it comes to understanding woman. That is why,without the help of women relatives, who have not been affectedthemselves, man cannot save himself from the attractions of otherwomen.]

--

hAtite chaRe bAdshA esechhila, kintu toraN chhoto, pAchhe mAthA hem~Tkarte hay tAi se fire gechhe, natun-tairI prAsAde prabesh kare ni. -p.158

[The emperor came on his elephant, but the rampart gate was too low.He had to return lest he have to bow his head, and never enteredthe newly built palace. ]

---

Thik samayTAte AsAkei bale punctuality; kintu ghaRir samay Thik samaynay; ghaRir samay nambar jAne, tAr mUlya jAnbe kI kare. - p. 158

[Coming at the correct time is called punctuality. However, thecorrect time lies not in the hour of the clock - the clockface knowsthe numbers - but how will it know their value? ]

---saMsAre konomate kAj chAlAtei habe, tAi kathAr nehAt darkAr. Je-sabsatYake kathAr madhYe kuloy nA bYabahArer hAte tAder-i chhAm~di,kathATAkei jAhir kari. - p.175

[Words are needed because somehow we have to keep the world moving.Those truths which cannot be expressed through words, these wedemonstrate through our actions, though the appearance is that ofthe words. ]

---oxygen ek bhAbe bay hAoyAy adr^shya theke, se nA hale prAN bAm~che nA;AbAr oxygen Arek bhAbe kaylAr saMge Joge jvalte thAke, sei AgunjIbaner nAnA kAje darkAr -- duTor konoTAkei bAd deoyA chale nA.. . . Je bhAlobAsA byAptabhAbe AkAshe mukta thAke antarer madhye sedey saMga; Je bhAlobAsA bisheShbhAbe pratidiner sabkichhute Jukta hayethAke se dey AsaMga. duToi Ami chAi.- p.176

[In one form, oxygen flows with the air, invisible - sustaining life; in another, it mixes with coal embers to provide fire - alsoindispensible to life. That love which openly spreads itself in the air gives companionship to our heart; and that love which mixes itself in all our everyday acts gives us loneliness. I must have both.]

---ekdin AmAr samasta DAnA mele peyechhilum AmAr oRAr AkAsh; Aj Amipeyechhi AmAr chhoTTa bAsA, DAnA guTiye basechhi. kintu AmAr AkAsh-oraila. - p.177

[Once I had spread out my wings; I found a vast sky. Today I havemade this tiny abode, and I sit with folded wings. But the sky isthere too. ]

tomAke balte gelei bhul bujhbe, AmAke gAl diye basbe. eker kathArupar Arer mAne chApiyei pr^thibIte mArAmAri khunokhuni hay. - 178

[Were I to tell you, you would not understand. You would abuse me.Loading the words of one with the meanings of another is the cause ofall the violence in the world. ]

ketakIr saMge AmAr samvandha bhAlobAsAr-i, kintu se jena ghARAy-tolAjal, pratidin tulba, pratidin byabahAr karba. Ar lAbaNyer saMge AmArJe bhAlobAsA se raila dighi, se ghare AnbAr nay, AmAr man tAtesAm~tAr debe. - 178

[ketakI and I - our love is like water in my kalsi (jug) ; I fill it eachmorning, and use it all day long. But lAbaNya's love is like a vast lake,not to be brought home, but into which my mind can immerse itself. ]

p.180-184: kAler JAtrAr dhvani shunite ki pAo tAri rath nitya udhAo jAgAichhe antarIkShe hr^dayspandan -- chakre piShTa Am~dhArer bakShma-fATA tArAr krandan. ogo bandhu, sei dhAvamAn kAl jaRAye dharila more feli tAr jAl; tule nila drutarathe duHsAhasI bhramaNer pathe tomA hate bahu dUre. mane hay, ajasra mr^tyure pAr haye AsilAm Aji nabaprabhAter shikharachURAy; rather chan~chal beg hAoyAy uRAy AmAr purAno nAm. firibAr path nAhi; dUr hate Jadi dekha chAhi pAribe nA chinite AmAy. he bandhu, bidAy.

konodin karmahIn pUrNa abakAshe basantabAtAse atIter tIr hate Je rAtre bahibe dIrghashvAs, jharA bakuler kAnnA byathibe AkAsh, sei kShmaNe khum~je dekho, kichhu mor pichhe rahila se tomAr prANer prAnte; bismr^tapradoShe hayto dibe se jyoti, hayto dharibe kabhu nAmhArA svapner murati. tabu se to svapna nay, sab-cheye satya mor, sei mr^tyun~jay -- se AmAr prem. tAre Ami rAhkiyA elem aparibartan arghya tomAr uddeshe. paribartaner srote Ami JAi bhese kAler JAtrAy.

he bandhu, bidAy.

tomAr hay ni kono kShati marter mr^ttikA mor, tAi niye amr^tamurati Jadi sr^ShTi ka're thAka, tAhAri Arati hok taba sandhYAbelA -- pUjAr se khelA bYAghAt pAbe nA mor pratYaher mlAnasparsha lege; tr^ShArta Abegabege bhraShTa nAhi habe tAr kono ful naibedyer thAle. tomAr mAnas bhoje saJatne sAjAle se bhAbaraser pAtra bANIr tr^ShAy tAr sAthe diba nA mishAye JA mor dhUlir dhan, JA mor chakSher jale bhije Ajo tumi nije hayto-bA karibe rachan mor smr^tiTuku diye svapnAbiShTa tomAr bachan. bhAr tAr nA rahibe, nA rahibe dAy. he bandhu bidAy.

mor lAgi kariyo nA shok, AmAr rayechhe karma, AmAr rayechhe bisvalok. mor pAtra rikta hay nAi -- shUnyere kariba pUrNa, ei brata bahiba sadAi. utkanTha AmAr lAgi keha Jadi pratIkShiyA thAke sei dhanya karibe AmAke. shuklapakShma hate Ani rajanIgandhAr br^ntakhAni Je pAre sAjAte arghyathAlA kr^ShnapakShma rAte Je AmAre dekhibAre pAy asIm kShamAy bhAlomanda milAye sakali, ebAr pUjAy tAri ApanAre dite chAi bali. tomAre JA diyAchhinu tAr peyechha niHsheSh adhikAr. hethA mor tile tile dAn, karuN muhUrtaguli ganDuSh bhariyA kare pAn hr^day-an~jali hate mama. ogo tumi nirupam, he aishvarYabAn, tomAre JA diyAchhinu se tomAri dAn; grahaN karechha Jata hriNI tata karechha AmAy. he bandhu, bidAy.

---

hush! listen to the wheels of time - his chariot rushes invisible pulsating in the heart of eternitycrushing underwheel the despairing blackness from whose fractured heart spring stars like teardrops. o my friend, that onrush of time ensnared and lifted me onto his chariot on a path of reckless adventure far away, far from you far - whirling beyond countless deaths

far - to this sunrise-kissed mountainpeak and behind us, flapping in the wind trailing in the vortex of the chariot traces of my name, myself. today across the path of no return if you catch a glimpse from afar you will know me not. my friend, farewell.

one day when at leisure spring wind in your haira sigh rising from distant nights of the past the tears of the fallen lily fracturing the sky look for me then, something that remains half unforgotten - trace me in your tears at a corner of your soul. perhaps it will illuminate perhaps it will give joy perhaps it will seem like a nameless dream. but no, dream this is not for it is the truest of all my truthsthis that i leave for you is my love this is my immutable offering deathless. changeless i leave this behind while life carries me on along the streams of change wheeling with the flow of time. o friend, farewell.

i will have caused you no lossfrom this mortal mud, if you have made a sculpture immortal, then let there be a votive evening dance - an Arati a game of prayer where dust from my daily touch will not sully flowers from my heaped prayer plate will not fall.at this feast of the soul you can lay out vessels full of languid dreams athirst for expression in it i shall not mixthat which is the treasure from my dust clay which is wet from my tears perhaps even today you will create from memories of my dust sounds like dreamsweightless, timeless they will float my friend, farewell!

grieve not for me - i have my work, i have my universe. my vessel is far from dry -emptiness i shall fill, this is my vow if at all someone awaits eagerly my return he will fulfill my life. he who can bring the rajanigandhA from the waxing phase of the moon to adorn the offerings in the moon's wane - he who can see me afar mixed good, bad and myself with eternal tenderness for him i shall offer myself as the sacrifice in today's prayer.that which i have given you already is yours unrestrained now my gift of trifles offerings from my heartthese sad moments will drink up while you and your talents, without compare let me declare all that I had given you was in truth your gift to me the more you have taken the more you have left me in debt. and now my friend, farewell.

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