6135 Winchester Road Irvine, Kentucky 40336-8517 · er tucks a note under the windshield wiper...
Transcript of 6135 Winchester Road Irvine, Kentucky 40336-8517 · er tucks a note under the windshield wiper...
6135 Winchester RoadIrvine, Kentucky 40336-8517
Phone (606) 723-5012, Fax (606) 723-2743Email: <[email protected]>
Published on Wednesdays byTracy Randall Patrick
Delores L. Rowland, EditorSubscription Prices
Estill $17, Adj. Counties $28, Elsewhere $32Periodicals Postage Paid, Irvine, KY 40336
(Permit #685-890)POSTMASTER: Send address changes to:The Estill Co. Tribune, 6135 Winchester Rd.
Irvine, Kentucky 40336-8517
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Page 4, The Estill County Tribune, April 3, 2019
Owlhead’s GrocerySouth Irvine * 723-7473
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Owlhead’s GrocerySouth Irvine * Phone 723-7473Donald & Katherine Dixon, Owners
We’re open until 10:00 p.m.
We Sell
Feeds by Producer
Runaway Car JuniorandhisfriendHowardGreenarehangingoutinfrontofthegasstationwhensuddenlytheyseeadriver-lesscarheadedstraightforthepumps.Juniorrunstothecar,jumpsinandpullsontheemergencybrakewithajerk.Hegetsoutandproudlysaystoamanthatisap-proachinghim,“Istoppedit!” “Iknowyoudid,”saysthebreathlessman.“IranoutofgasandhadpusheditALMOSTtothepumps.”
Vehicle Break-Ins Astudentcommuting toUKis fedupofhavinghiscarbrokenintoandhavinghiselectronicequipmentandotheritemsremoved.So,hedecidestoleaveanoteonthedashsayingthatthereisnopointbreakingintothecarsincethereisnothingleftinsidetosteal.Hereturnsafterclassestofindasmashedinwindowandanewnote,nexttohisonthedash,thatsays,“I’msorrythatIdidn’ttrustyou!”
No Parking Zone Beforeleavinghiscarina“noparking”zone,thedriv-ertucksanoteunderthewindshieldwipersaying,“I’vecircledtheblockfor20minutes.I’mlateforanappoint-ment,andifIdon’tparkhere,I’lllosemyjob.‘Please forgive us our trespasses.’ ” Whenhecomesbackhefindsaparkingticketandthisnote,“I’vecircledtheblockfor20years,andifIdon’tgiveyouaticket,I’lllosemyjob.‘Lead us not into temp-tation.’ ”
New Driver Anindependenttruckerdecidesheneedssomehelponsomelonghaulssohehiresanewguytohelpwiththedriving.Thetruckerisveryprotectiveofhisnearly-newrig,butthenewdriverseemstobedoingwell;so,thetruckerdecides toget somesleep.Afterawhile,he isawakenedsuddenlywhenthetruckhitssomethingwithathud.“Whattheheckwasthat?”heasksthenewdriver. “Oh,somekindofanimal,”thenewguyreplies. Sometimelater, the truckhitssomethingagainwithathud,andthetruckerisawakenedagain.“Oh,justan-otheranimal,”saysthenewguy.“Gobacktosleep.” Momentslater,thetruckerisstartledbythreethudsinarow,andgetsthesamereply,“Oh,justsomekindofanimal.” “Buttherewerethreethuds?”inquiresthetrucker. “Yeah,”isthereply.“Well,Ihadtogothroughacoupleoffencestogetthatone.”
Which Way to Drip Rock? Adriverpullsupbesidearundownfarmhouse.Hegetsoutandknocksatthedoor.Averyoldwomananswersthedoor,andheasksherfordirectionstoDripRock.” “Don’tknow,”thewomansays. Hegetsbackinhiscarandpullsaway.Thenhehearsvoices. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees thewomanandanequallyoldmanwavingforhimtocomeback.SohemadeaU-turnanddrivesuptothem. “Thisismyhusband,”theoldwomansays.“Hesayshedoesn’tknowhowtogetthereeither.”
The Deep, Dark Secret Atschool,LittleJohnnyistoldbyaclassmatethatmostadultsarehidingatleastonedarksecret,whichmakesitveryeasytoblackmail thembysaying,“Iknowthewholetruth.” LittleJohnnydecidestogohomeandtryitout.Hegoeshomeandtellshismother,“Iknowthewholetruth.” Shequicklyhandshim$20saying,“Justdon’ttellyourfather.” Quitepleased,theboywaitsforhisfathertogethomefrom work, and greets him with, “I know the wholetruth.” Thefatherpromptlyhandshim$40andsays,“Pleasedon’tsayawordtoyourmother.” Verypleased,theboyisonhiswaytoschoolthenextdaywhenheseesthemailmanathisfrontdoor.Theboygreetshimbysaying,“Iknowthewholetruth.” Themailman immediatelydrops themail, openshisarms,andsays,“Then,comegiveyourrealdaddyabighug.”
Foggy Night in Needmore Esmerlda follows a taillight up Needmore Hollowduringadensefogandcrashesintothecaraheadofherwhenitstopssuddenly.“Whydidn’tyouletmeknowyouweregoingtostop?”sheyellsintothemist. “WhyshouldI?”comesavoiceoutofthefog.“I’minmyowngarage!”
Two Cannibals Are Having Lunch “Yourgirlfriendmakesagreatsoup,”saysonetotheother. “Yep!”hereplies.“But,I’mgoingtomissherterribly.”
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FRANKFORT--TheGeneralAssembly’s2019sessioncametoacloseThursdayevening,cappingoffasessioninwhichlawmakersapprovedaschoolsafetymeasurecon-sideredasignatureissueofthesession. When the finalgavel fellon thisyear’s30-dayses-sion,theschoolsafetymeasurehadalreadybeeneffectivelawforacoupleweeks.Becausethemeasurecontainedanemergencyclause,ittookeffectassoonasGov.MattBevinsigneditonMarch11. ThatmeansKentucky’sschoolsafetyeffortsarenowslatedtoimproveonanumberoffronts.SenateBill1,knownastheSchoolSafetyandResiliencyAct,callsforestablishingastateschoolsafetymarshal,conductingriskassessments,boostingsafetyandpreventiontraining,re-quiringsuperintendentstoappointaschoolsafetycoor-dinator,promotingtheassignmentofaschoolresourceofficer toeachschool, increasingawarenessofsuicidepreventionefforts,encouragingcollaborationwithlawen-forcement,and,asfundsbecomeavailable,hiringmorecounselorsinschooldistricts. SenateBill1istheproductofaspecially-formedcom-mitteethattravelledthestatelastyeartodiscussschoolsafetyandcollectfeedback.Legislativeleadershavesaidthatfundingprovisionsofthebillwillbeaprioritywhenlawmakersputtogetherthestate’snexttwo-yearbudgetnextyear. Whilemanyofthesession’smajorissueswereresolvedearlierthisyear,somesignificantmattersweretakenupinthesession’sfinalhours.Providingpensionrelieftouni-versitiesandquasi-governmentalagencieswasanissuethatreceivedfinalapprovalonthelastnightoftheses-sion. HouseBill358isdesignedtogiveregionalstateuni-versities,communitycollegesand“quasi-governmental”agencieslikehealthdepartmentsandmentalhealthboardsachancetoleavetheKentuckyEmployeesRetirementSystem(KERS)bypayingtheirunfundedliabilitytothesysteminalumpsumorinstallments.Postsecondaryin-stitutionsandquasiagenciesthatdecidetostayinKERSwillhavetopaythefullretirementcontributionratetothesystemstartinginJuly2020. Anotherbillthatreceivedfinalapprovalinthesession’sfinalhourstakesaimattobaccouseinschools.HouseBill11seekstobantheuseoftobacco,e-cigarettesandvap-
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ingdevicesonpublicschoolcampuses,inschoolvehiclesandatschoolactivitiesbeginningwiththe2020-21schoolyear.Schooldistrictswouldhaveuptothreeyearstotakestepstooptoutofthebaniftheychoose. Also,shortlybeforethesessionadjourned, lawmak-ersgavefinalapprovaltolegislationmeanttoensurethatpregnantworkersareprovidedreasonableaccommoda-tionsandsafeworkingenvironments.SenateBill18statesthat“reasonableaccommodations”mayincludemorefre-quentorlongerbreaks,timeofftorecoverfromchildbirth,appropriateseating,andprivatespaceforexpressingbreastmilk.Theprovisionsofthebillaremeanttoapplytoem-ployersthathave15ormoreworkers. Inall,morethan200billswereapprovedbytheGeneralAssemblyduringthisyear’ssession.OthernotablebillspassedthisyearincludemeasurestoreducethenumberofabortionsinKentucky,allowKentuckianswhoareatleast21yearsoldtocarryconcealedweaponswithoutalicense,andestablisha“fosterchildbillofrights”thatgrants16rightsforchildreninout-of-homeplacementinKentucky,includingrightsto“adequatefood,clothingandshelter.” The2019sessionalsoproducedlegislationthatwillin-creasethenumberofKentuckianseligibletohavelow-levelfeloniesexpungedfromtheircriminalrecords.Sen-ateBill57expandsdiscretionaryexpungementtoallClassDfelonieswithsomeexceptionsforcrimessuchassteal-inginoffice,abusingchildrenandsexabuse.Itincludesafive-yearwaitingperiodtoapplyforexpungement,a$250applicationfeeandprovisionsforprosecutorstoobjectandjudgestorejecttheapplications. Kentuckiansareencouragedtoofferfeedbacktolaw-makersontheissuesthatlawmakers’dealtwiththe2019legislativesessionaswellasotherissuesconfrontingthestate.CitizenscansharetheirthoughtsbycallingtheGen-eralAssembly’stoll-freemessagelineat1-800-372-7181.