6Lessons

Overcome Your Fear

There are many ways to address fear and anxiety but one of the most profound is found in Cheri Huber's "The Fear Book:," inspired by Zen Buddhism. Here are the lessons that I have learned from this book :

Fear and Anxiety: The Bad NewsEveryone experiences fear and anxiety. In fact, fear and anxiety can be helpful emotions that signalwhen we are in danger or when something is wrong in our lives. Unfortunately fear and anxiety can also be paralyzing emotions that stop us from living our lives. Fear and anxiety can make our worldssmaller. We stop driving on freeways or going on planes. We avoid crowds and new social situations.

Fear and Anxiety: The Good NewsThe good news is that there are many approaches to reducing fear, including Huber's ZenBuddhist approach. The following principles, based on Huber's "The Fear Book," can help you understand, accept and let go of your anxiety and fear. True courage is a process ofself-awareness, wisdom and perseverance.

Lesson # 1 : You are not your fear.This is the most fundamental principle of fear from a Buddhist perspective. Oftenwhen people are afraid, they unconsciously make fear part of themselves.

For example, people often say "I'm not good in social situations" or "I don't like traveling." The firststep towards reducing fear is to be able to label fear

and realize that you are not a "fearful person."

Lesson # 2 : The stronger the fear, the closer you are to the truth.The more intense the experience of fear, the closer you are to the core fear. For example,say that you are petrified of public speaking. Are you really afraid that you will embarrassyourself and look like a fool? Are you afraid you have nothing worthwhile to say? Use thestrength of fear to guide you deeper towards the truth.

Once you hit the core fear, try puttingit into perspective. It is often helpful to

ask yourself, "What is the worse thatcan happen?" Since the answer is usually not dire, one can see fears

and anxieties more rationally.

Lesson # 3 : Other emotions such as anger and sadness may actually be fear.Fear has many faces. Whenever you feel a strong emotion, see if fear is hidden underneath. For example, you may be angry when you get turned down for a job. Is it really anger or are you afraid that you are not good enough?

Examine each emotion and seeif it is really fear. Ask yourself,

"What am I afraid of?"

Lesson # 4 : Everytime we avoid fear, fear gets stronger.Often the natural reaction to experiencing fear is to protect ourselves from it. We chosenot to go to the party that makes us uncomfortable. We chose not to try a new activity,such as rowing or salsa dancing in order to avoid the discomfort of fear and anxiety.

Unfortunately this strengthens fearand the likelihood that we will avoid

more activities. Try small steps towards doing something scary. Move

forward at a comfortable pace bybreaking a task into components.

Lesson # 5 : If you do not believe what fear tells you, your fear will become smaller.The trick to overcoming fear and anxiety is not to believe what it tells you. For example, if youwant to travel alone but fear is telling you that you can't do it, don't believe these thoughts. Fear is very persuasive and it can be difficult to distinguish fear from who you are.

It also helps to develop statementsto counteract fear. For example, tellyourself how capable you are, howyou can travel safely alone or how

excited you are about travelling.

Lesson # 6 : A Calm Mind Can't Be FearfulFear and anxiety are natural states of emotion. However, when they takeover your life, they develop a life of their own. Fortunately, fear and anxietycan be worked with.

A Zen Buddhist approach focuses on the mind to unveil the ultimate delusion of fear: that it is who you are. Fear is often an unwelcome visitor. Remember you can't chose feeling fear but you can choose when to leave it at the door.

Credit Source:Huber, Cheri. The Fear Book U.S.A.: Keep it Simple Books, 1995.

The whole secret of existence isto have no fear. Never fear whatwill become of you, depend onno one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.

- Buddha

Thank You Very MuchSompong Yusoontorn