FADE IN:

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

<BLAM! BLAM!> LASERS blast across the screen as TIMMY runs in dressed as NEO (in the MATRIX). BEHIND HIM: CROCKER (dressed like Mr. Smith) chases and fires LASERS!

CROCKER #1There's no escaping Mr. Turner.

Timmy is trapped against a wall. Suddenly, Crocker splits into THREE CROCKER AGENTS.

CROCKER #2There's no escaping Mr. Turner.

CROCKER #3I already said that.

CROCKER #1No I said it. And are we gorgeous or what?

ALL CROCKERSThere's no escaping the world's most gorgeous army Mr. Turner.

Timmy does a matrix-esque spin into mid air out of the alley as he avoids the laser blasts. Then - <SNAP!> He lands on the ground in fast motion. Timmy strikes a super cool karate pose.

TIMMYI just did. And nobody defeats "TEO" master of the martial arts!!

IN A MASTER CONTROL ROOM: Timmy's watched on a COMPUTER screen by COSMO, WANDA and POOF (with HEADSETS).

COSMOYou may always be chosen last at school for kickball or as a lab partner...

WANDA...but in your trilogy wishes, you're always the "Chosen One!!"

BACK ON THE CITY STREET: Snap wide to see Timmy is in front of a CHINESE TAKE-OUT PLACE. <WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!> CROCKER Agents land around Timmy, then splint into 6 CROCKER AGENTS!

TIMMYHey, you guys look hungry! You want Sweet and Sour Pork or KUNG POW!!

ALL CROCKERSNo thanks we're allergic to MSG...

Timmy then does an awesome spin kick and a force from his fists blasts the Crockers out of frame. Then <ZHOOOMP!> 20 MORE show up and surround Timmy.

CONTROL ROOM: Wanda picks up a PHONE. They see on the screen that Timmy is surrounded.

WANDATimmy, get the ring! Get the ring!

BACK ON TIMMY: A PAY PHONE <RINGS!> Snap zoom into the phone. Timmy picks it up. The Crocker agents close in.

TIMMY

Yeah, new trilogy wish, this one's not fun any more.

The Crocker agents stop.

CROCKER #1 What? We're totally fun. 'Cuz fun starts with "F!"

The Crockers pull out papers graded with "F's!" and throw them at Timmy but before they hit, Timmy phases away to -

EXT. A SUN-SHINEY PASTORAL HOBBIT FIELD - SAME

Timmy phases into scene dressed like FRODO. WANDA and POOF pop in as HOBBITS. Cosmo is GOLLUM.

TIMMYCool! I'm in Middle Earth!

WANDAHere ya go, "Chosen One." One ring to rule them all!

Wanda hands Timmy a TEETHING RING.

TIMMYThis is a teething ring?

WANDAOh sorry, Poof's teething.

TIMMYYeah, I know.

Timmy holds out his arm. Poof, like a piranha, is chewing on Timmy up to his forearm. Poof bites the teething ring. Wanda pulls out another ring.

WANDAHere you go! One ring to rule...

TIMMYThis is an Onion ring.

Cosmo grabs the ring like Gollum.

COSMOThat's mine! Precious! And delicious!

Wanda searches her pockets.

WANDAI know I've got that freaky ring somewhere. Oh - here it is!

She pulls out and hands the GOLDEN RING OF POWER to Timmy. CUT CLOSE ON THE RING - then RACK FOCUS to see a HUGE OMINOUS MOUNTAIN in the distance. CUT TO -

A STEEP MOUNTAIN SIDE: Timmy trudges upward through high winds and rain. Wanda, Cosmo and Poof are beside him.

WANDA (CONT'D)Only the Chosen One can take this ring and drop it in the fires of Dark Mount Gloom!

<CHOMP!> Wanda takes a bite out of the mountain.

TIMMYWhat? Are you telling me this mountain is chocolate?

WANDADark Chocolate. What? Can't I have some fun on these wishes?

They reach the top of the mountain. Lava bubbles.

COSMOTimmy, THROW THE RING IN THE LAVA!

<MUSIC SWELLS!> Timmy holds up the whispering glowing ring and dramatically hurls it into the lava. Plop. The rain and wind stop! Beat. Beat.

COSMO (CONT'D)Wow. That was anti-climactic.

TIMMYHow 'bout we have a little bit more "action" in my next Chosen One Mega Action Trilogy Wish?

WANDAYou got it!

Wanda waves her wand and <POOF!>

EXT. MEDIEVAL COUNTRY-SIDE - DAY

<WHOOSH!> Poof, like a quidditch snitch, flutters past Timmy (he still has his teething ring). Timmy (dressed as HARRY POTTER) flies on a BROOMSTICK. Wanda flies next to him on a BROOM.

TIMMYWhoo-hooo. I'm Chosen-One-Magic-Wizard-Boy: Timmy Totter playing poofer-scoop!

Cosmo comes in on a BROOMSTICK (with a serving platter).

COSMOTimmy Totter? I prefer Tater Totters!

Cosmo lifts the cover to reveal a pile of TATER TOTS. <WHAM!> Cosmo crashes into a castle-tower <GAH!>

ON TIMMY: He's about to grab the fluttering Poof. Wanda flies up beside him and bites the top of her broom off.

WANDAYou gotta try this Pretzel broom-stick.

TIMMYThat does it. I'm not making any more wishes before breakfast.

<ZAP!> MAGIC BOLTS hit Timmy's broomstick! Timmy's chased by the EVIL WIZARD VICKY on a FOUR-BROOMSTICK CHAIR!! Vicky <LAUGHS EVILLY!>

WANDAOh no! It's the Ultimate-Bad-Nasty-Wizard-Moldywart!

CLOSE ON: Vicky.

VICKYIt's not moldy, but it is indeed a wart. A-HAHAHAHA!

Timmy weaves and dodges through the clouds as Moldywart creates a GIANT BALL OF ENERGY and aims at Timmy. <POOF!> Cosmo arrives on Wanda's broom with his tots.

COSMOTimmy, before you get destroyed, can you wish up KETCHUP.

JORGEN (O.S.)Turner! Stop!

Suddenly, JORGEN (dressed as a wizard) surfs in on a BROOMSTICK. He's in hot pursuit. <ZAP!> Jorgen disintegrates Moldywart with a blast from his wand.

TIMMYCool! Jorgen got rid of Moldywart. And now I can scoop the poof!

Suddenly, Jorgen <BLASTS> Cosmo. He's gone!

WANDAUh, now he got rid of Cosmo! And - Ahhhh!

<BLAST!> Wanda is gone! Timmy didn't see 'cuz he's in pursuit of Poof and - <SNATCH!> Timmy catches Poof!

TIMMYYes!

Jorgen then blasts a MAGIC BEAM, and Poof is gone!

TIMMY (CONT'D)Hey, what gives? We're playing a game here!

Jorgen flies up and stops. He raises his big wand and aims it right at Timmy. He's very serious.

JORGENThe fun times are over; This is not a game;Remain in the shadows;Do not speak your name!

TIMMYUm, you're freaking me out, dude.

Jorgen aims, <KA-ZAAP> hits the target, and knocks Timmy off his broom!

TIMMY (CONT'D)AAAAAAAAAGH!

Timmy falls down-down into a swirling abyss and vanishes.

INT. TURNER HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

<PZZZZAP!> Timmy - now dressed normally - falls face down into his front yard.

TIMMYOOF! Huh...a trilogy wish with a twist ending. I'll wish up another sequel after school: "The Chosen One 4! Jorgen's a Jerk!"

Timmy gets up and brushes himself off.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Cosmo? Wanda? Poof?

(Beat: no answer)Okay, guess I'll meet up with them later.

Timmy turns and enters his house.

INT. THE TURNER KITCHEN - KITCHEN TABLE - SECONDS LATER

DAD reads the PAPER. Mom cooks. Timmy sits down.

TIMMYHey, Dad. Mom, can I get some cereal? Something crunchy that's bad for me? Preferably with a toy in the box?

Dad lowers the paper and looks oddly at Timmy.

DADHoney? Why is a bucktoothed street urchin wearing a pink hat calling us 'Mom and Dad' and asking for food?

TIMMY

Um, 'cuz I'm your son?

MOMBut we don't have a son. We decided against having children so we could have more money, less responsibility and weekends free!

DADYeah! Having kids would only tie us down and prevent us from doing fun things like going to this weekend's big M.A.R.F. Festival!

Dad shows Timmy an ad in the paper for the "MIDDLE AGED ROCK FESTIVAL. THIS WEEKEND IN LAS VEGAS!" There are photos of Glam Bands rockin' out.

TIMMYThe "Middle Aged Rock Festival?"

Mom and Dad slide together like a rock act on stage.

MOM AND DAD'Cuz you're never too old to Rock and Roll! <LEAD GUITAR NOISES!>

They pop into "air guitar" poses then their backs CRACK!

MOM AND DAD (CONT'D)Ow, my back!!

DADMaybe we are too old! TO THE HEATING PADS!

MOMGrab a muffin and let yourself out, street urchin.

Mom and Dad shuffle o.s. Timmy watches them go.

TIMMYStreet Urchin? M.A.R.F Festival? Eh...I've had weirder mornings.

Timmy grabs A MUFFIN, but it's glowing exactly like the muffin in "Abra Catastrophe."

TIMMY (CONT'D)No, not that one.

Timmy shrugs, grabs a DIFFERENT MUFFIN and walks o.s.

EXT. DIMMSDALE ELEMENTARY - LATER - ESTABLISH

Timmy walks into school.

TIMMYCosmo? Wanda? Where the heck are they? Well, if I have to face the educational system without magic, I better be prepared.

INT. CROCKER'S CLASS - CONTINUOUS

Timmy enters CLASS wearing a HOCKEY MASK and PADS. He walks up to CHESTER and AJ.

TIMMYHey guys! Where's my seat?

CHESTERWow! A new kid who doesn't know we're not cool!

TIMMYWhat are you talking about? I know you're not cool. And it's me. Hellooo.

Timmy takes off his mask. They don't recognize him.

AJI'm AJ the class genius, new kid! You can have my seat. I'll stand!

TIMMYGuys, I'm not a...

CROCKER (O.S.)NEW KID! Don't you know these kids aren't cool? AJ!

Crocker pulls out a massive megaphone and shouts.

CROCKER (CONT'D)"F" for standing!

The force blows AJ out of frame. <CRASH!>

CROCKER (CONT'D)Man, I love megaphones. Okay class, today's assignment is to think of clever ways to destroy the New Kid's self esteem.

TIMMYBut I'm not a new kid. Look, I've even done the homework you assigned on the Big Dipper...

Timmy pulls out a PAPER and gives it to Crocker.

CROCKERHmm. An over-achieving suck up. I like it. <INTO BULLHORN> But F!

The force of Crocker's megaphone smacks Timmy into the wall next to AJ.

CROCKER (CONT'D)That's how we roll in the fifth grade. And everyone knows there's no such thing as the Big Dipper!

TIMMYThe Big Dipper doesn't exist?

AJWhere'd you move here from? "Dumbsville?"

All the kids <LAUGH!>

TIMMYI've lived here my whole life! What's wrong with you guys?

(to Chester & AJ)I'm your best friend!

(to Francis)You beat me up every day!

(to Trixie)

And I've been in love with you since Kindergarten!

Dead silence. Crocker speaks into the megaphone.

CROCKERAwkward.

TIMMYFirst my parents, now you guys? What's wrong with everyone? Look at me! I'm Timmy!

Timmy grabs the megaphone from Crocker and shouts!

TIMMY (CONT'D)TIMMY TURNER!

Beat. <BLAM!!!> A HUGE METALLIC ROBOT (think Iron Man/RoboCop) - an ELIMINATOR - bursts through the wall.

ELIMINATORTimmy Turner. Eliminate Timmy Turner.

TIMMYUh, what the heck is that?

CHESTERWow! Another new kid!

The Eliminator begins firing DEADLY LASER BLASTS at Timmy! It blows a HOLE IN THE WALL!

CHESTER (CONT'D)...who shoots deadly lasers!

CROCKEROkay class, new assignment...

He writes the following on the board:

CROCKER (CONT'D)Run...For...Your...LIFE! AAAGH!

Crocker and the kids panic and run outside through the hole. <SCREAMING WALLA!> Timmy hides behind a DESK as the Eliminator comes closer.

TIMMYNobody knows who I am, my fairies are missing, the Big Dipper's gone, and a huge robot is trying to waste me.

LIFT! The desk is lifted by the huge robot-looking dude.

ELIMINATOREliminate Timmy Turner.

TIMMYIt's official. This is the weirdest morning ever!

Timmy dashes out a hole in the wall.

OUTSIDE - SAME

AT THE SCHOOL BIKE RACK: Timmy screeches to a stop. He sees a TRICYCLE, a BMX BIKE, and then a FUTURISTIC HOVER BIKE tied to the rack. There's a LICENSE PLATE: "AJ".

TIMMY (CONT'D)Thank you, AJ.

Timmy hops in the hovercraft and exits! <KWASH!> The Eliminator bursts through a school wall. He spots Timmy.

ELIMINATOR POV: his red target eye zooms into Timmy escaping away down the road. "Target Located" flashes.

The Eliminator transforms into a FLYING ATTACK VEHICLE and zooms toward Timmy. Crocker and the kids watch. Beat.

CROCKEROkay everyone back to class, fix the wall and write a 1,000,000 word report on the negative effects of evil robotic new kids!

<AWWW> the class sulks.

CROCKER (CONT'D)And I'm off to the MARF Festival, 'cuz you're never too old to rock and roll!

He strikes an "air guitar" pose. CRACK! He snaps in half.

CROCKER (CONT'D)Maybe I am too old.

DOWNTOWN - SAME

ON TIMMY: flying the hovercraft. He looks back and sees the Eliminator catching up.

TIMMYAhhh! I gotta find Cosmo and Wanda and WISH THIS ROBO-DORK AWAY!

Timmy bobs and weaves between buildings and under streetlights as the Eliminator closes in. Timmy rounds a corner and the Eliminator follows.

CLOSE ON: THE ELIMINATOR!

ELIMINATOREliminate Timmy Turner.

<WHOOOSH!> It flies past a BILLBOARD advertising: "MARF FESTIVAL." The sign shows people going to VEGAS. BEAT. PAN DOWN to see Timmy actually floating in front of the sign - in a frozen position - pretending to be in the poster. Timmy relaxes and hovers down o.s. He lands.

TIMMYThat was close. AAAAGH!

Suddenly, a HUGE HAND grabs Timmy and yanks him o.s.

INT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS

Timmy is thrown down. A HUGE SHADOW falls over him.

TIMMYDon't eliminate me! I'm not...

JORGENTIMMY TURNER!

JORGEN steps out of the shadows.

TIMMY

Jorgen! Man, am I glad to see you! And to see somebody who knows me!

Jorgen points his wand at Timmy's head then it transforms into a SCARY GIANT BLASTER.

TIMMY (CONT'D)And now I'm not so glad.

JORGENDUCK!

Timmy ducks as Jorgen fires a laser blast over his head at the Eliminator who's lowering (on foot jets) in the alley behind Timmy! <KA-BLAM!> The Eliminator is knocked back into the wall...CRASH! It struggles to get up.

TIMMYWhat is that thing?!

JORGENI told you not to say your name, like I sorta just did. They have really good hearing!

The Eliminator gets up, and suddenly its mouth morphs into a super-creepy BLACK HOLE VORTEX that sucks things from the alley in until they vanish! Garbage cans, loose garbage, a cat....

TIMMYAnd a really big mouth!

It begins to suck Timmy in, too!

TIMMY (CONT'D)Aaagh! Help!

As Timmy is lifted off the ground and pulled towards the vortex, Jorgen grabs his hand and holds him back, but the pull is strong! Jorgen holds on to a fire escape.

JORGENHang on!

Jorgen slowly loses his grip on Timmy as the <CREEPY MUSIC> builds. We PAN OVER to see a RADIO in the alley.

ANNOUNCER

...you're listening to K.R.E.P.: "creepy music for those creepy alley cliff-hangers!"

JORGENI hate this station!

Jorgen lets go of Timmy in order to turn off the radio.

JORGEN (CONT'D)Ooops.

TIMMYAaagh!

JORGENNoooooo!

As Timmy is sucked towards certain doom, we...

FADE OUT.

END ACT 1...

ACT II

EXT. ALLEY - CONTINUOUS

Jorgen holds on to a FIRE ESCAPE. Timmy is flying out of control toward the Eliminator's vortex mouth!

JORGENTimmy! Hang on!

TIMMYTo what?

JORGENGood point!

<POOF!> Jorgen's wand becomes a BULLWHIP.

ON THE SPINNING VORTEX: <WHOOSH!> Timmy is sucked in. He's gone! Then - <WHIP!> The whip enters the vortex and <SNAP!> Timmy is pulled out of the vortex!

JORGEN (CONT'D)

Now to shut that pie-hole with a man-hole!

Jorgen rips up A MAN HOLE COVER and throws it at the Eliminator/Vortex. The man-hole cover is too wide to fit into the mouth vortex and sends the Eliminator crashing into the alley wall. The mouth vortex closes.

ELIMINATORDestroy Timmy Turner.

JORGENAlthough I sympathize with your sentiments, I cannot allow that to happen at this time!

Jorgen poofs up a cool CHOPPER (motor-cycle)! He's on it.

JORGEN (CONT'D)Hop on my hog and hold me tight!

Timmy just stands there. He's - unsure.

JORGEN (CONT'D)Okay, that came out wrong - just get on this motorcycle and brace yourself to move very quickly!

Timmy hops on the bike. <POOF!> A HELMET pops on his head. <VROOM!> They take off. The Eliminator transforms into his "Flying Pursuit Vehicle!"

EXT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME

Mom and Dad (dressed like aging rockers) carry SUITCASES to a GROOVY VAN with "M.A.R.F. MACHINE" signs in the window. Timmy and Jorgen race by; the Eliminator follows.

TIMMYAhhhhh!!!

MOMThere goes that street urchin! Oooh, it looks like he's having fun.

DAD

But not as much fun as we're gonna have cruising in the MARF Machine on our way to the MARF festival! Now to make sure we have enough "goodies" to keep this road trip rockin'!

Dad checks the contents of a BAG.

DAD (CONT'D)Antacids? Check. Antihistamine? Check. Ibuprofen? Check! And the nasal spray for my deviated septum.

Dad snorts the spray.

MOMLet's party!

They both strike "air guitar poses".

MOM AND DADOw! Our backs!

Mr. Crocker walks into scene (dressed similarly) carrying A BUNDLE ON A STICK over his shoulder.

CROCKERHey fellow Marfers. I'm going to the Middle Aged Rock Festival too! And I could use a ride.

DADWell, gas, glasses or aspirin? Nobody rides for free!

Crocker pulls out a GAS CAN, some EYE GLASSES and a BOTTLE OF ASPIRIN.

CROCKERLet's M.A.R.F!

They all hop into the van. Dad fires it up; they pull out of the driveway, drive down to the corner and stop at a gas station. Mom runs out of the van.

MOMMiddle-Aged Bladder! Potty break!

DAD/CROCKERRight behind you!

EXT. THE STREETS OF DIMMSDALE - SAME

Jorgen weaves through the streets narrowly avoiding CARS. The Eliminator chases. Jorgen enters a MALL PARKING LOT.

TIMMYHe's gaining on us. Oh, and by the way - WHO IS HE??

JORGENThere will be time for explanations when you are safe!

<BLAST!> The Eliminator's blasts go off around Timmy.

TIMMYSo I take it this is a bad time?

They're headed straight for a DIMMADOME DEPT. STORE WALL.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Shouldn't you be SLOWING DOWN??

Jorgen hits the gas and <KA-BLAM!> The motorcycle vanishes just before it hits the wall leaving a trail of flaming skid marks (like in Back to the Future).

The unlucky Eliminator crashes into the wall. <CRASH!>

INT. DIMMADOME'S DEPT. STORE - SAME

ON A PILE OF SMOLDERING BRICKS: The Eliminator climbs out of the rubble. PATRONS are a bit shocked. The Eliminator looks at a CLOTHES RACK, takes a TOUGH LEATHER JACKET and SUNGLASSES from a mannequin. He walks toward the giant hole in the wall. A terrified PERFUME GIRL stands. He stops. She sprays. Then, he grabs a PINK FEATHER BOA off a rack walks out the hole into a --

PARKING LOT: A VORTEX opens in his mouth and TWO OTHER ELIMINATORS emerge. They salute the LEAD ELIMINATOR.

LEAD ELIMINATOR

He got away.

ELIMINATOR #1You smell good.

ELIMINATOR #2 That fragrance captures your essence.

LEAD ELIMINATORAnd we need to capture and eliminate Timmy Turner.

ELIMINATORYou should lose the boa though.

LEAD ELIMINATORToo much? Right.

He tosses the boa on the ground.

LEAD ELIMINATOR (CONT'D)Now, get the Chosen One.

The eliminators transform into flying vehicles and <KAZOOM> out of frame.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - SECONDS LATER

<KA-BLAM!> Timmy and Jorgen - still on the cycle - land on the RAINBOW BRIDGE. Jorgen steers the bike into Fairyworld and skids to a stop. The place is deserted - not one fairy around.

JORGENWhew! That was a close one.

Jorgen gets off the bike. Timmy, fed up, grabs Jorgen's wand and aims it at him.

TIMMYWhat's going on? How come you're the only one that knows me, and where're Cosmo and Wanda? WHERE'RE ALL THE FAIRIES? I want answers!

Jorgen holds out his hand and the wand returns to him.

TIMMY (CONT'D)

Darn!

JORGENNow hang on to me again. We have a long road ahead of us. But know one thing: all the fairies are safe and hidden where the enemy cannot find them.

EXT. BARSTOW CALIFORNIA - DESERT - CONTINUOUS

ANGLE ON A SIGN: "THE OLD RUNDOWN TRUCK STOP. Giving you gas since 1973." PUSH IN AND DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE OLD RUNDOWN TRUCK STOP - SAME

We push through the dingy diner. A few TRUCK DRIVERS eat at the counter. They eat then spit out their food. We PUSH IN on a GUMBALL MACHINE.

ON: assorted and colorful GUMBALLS. Suddenly, they all sprout EYES and CROWNS! They're all fairies! COSMO, WANDA and POOF are on top of the pile.

WANDAAh! Where are we? Last thing I remember is Jorgen pulling us out of Timmy's trilogy wish!

COSMOAnd the last thing I remember is you saying "the last thing you remember was Jorgen pulling us out of Timmy's trilogy wish!

A little purple gumball's eyes open.

POOFPoof!

THEN: Cupid pops up on top of the pile.

CUPIDGasp! We're in a gumball machine!

TOOTH FAIRY I hope we're sugarless!

COSMOEvery fairy in Fairy World must be in here!

JUANDISSIMOI'm more of a fireball than a gumball. At least we're not at the bottom like Binky.

BINKY (O.S.)Hi guys.

WANDAWell, I don't know why Jorgen put us in here, but we're getting out! (Beat) Oh no! Our wands are gone!

COSMOAnd our hands are gone!

TOOTH FAIRYBut at least we're safe.

Suddenly, a SNOT-NOSED KID walks up to the gum machine.

COSMONot safe!

The kid puts a quarter in, and gets: the BINKY/gumball!!

ALL FAIRIESOh no! He got Binky!

Binky is heading for the big mouth in the sky.

BINKYI don't want to be a gumball!

The kid puts the Binky gumball in his mouth and chews.

ALL FAIRIESAaagh! The horror!

The kid pulls out a fist full of QUARTERS.

ALL FAIRIES (CONT'D)Aaagh! The quarters!

INT. FOREST - LATER

Jorgen swings through the Trees like Tarzan. Timmy holds onto his back for dear life.

JORGENDon't let go!

EXT. SNOWY MOUNTAIN - LATER

Jorgen hikes up a Treacherous Peak fighting the wind. Timmy hangs on for dear life.

EXT. DESERT - LATER

Jorgen trudges through a Blazing Desert. Timmy hangs on for dear life.

EXT. REST STOP - LATER

On a PORTA POTTY in the wild, <FLUSH!> Timmy and Jorgen exit. Timmy is still hanging on.

JORGENYou could have let go that time.

EXT. SWAMP - LATER

We see two HOLLOW REEDS swimming through the water.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - LATER

ON JORGEN'S MOTORCYCLE: Jorgen and Timmy come lagging into scene covered in dirt and mud.

TIMMYWe're back here again?? This is where we started.

JORGENYou've got to be kidding me.

TIMMYWhat are we looking for anyway?

Jorgen shows Timmy an ANCIENT MAP OF FAIRYWORLD.

JORGENThe "Cave of Destiny". It's where all your questions will be answered.

TIMMYYou mean like that cave up there?

Timmy points to a Mountain. We see a GLOWING CAVE with a HUGE SIGN above it: "CAVE OF DESTINY - FREE WI-FI".

JORGENI can't believe I missed that.

TIMMYHang on tight!

Jorgen hops on Timmy's back and Timmy carries him o.s.

EXT. CAVE OF DESTINY - MOMENTS LATER

The entrance is pitch black. Jorgen <DOUBLE HAND CLAPS!>

INT. CAVE OF DESTINY - CONTINUOUS

TORCHES light up the cave. Timmy looks around: BATS fly above; SKELETONS lay in the dirt; RATS run on the ground.

TIMMYThe Cave of Destiny is creepy.

JORGENOh, these are just from last year's Halloween party - I don't remember much from it - good party.

TIMMYOkay, where was I, oh yeah - WHAT'S GOING ON? <VOICE ECHOS!>

JORGENMaybe these pretty pictures will help. Or as we call it on Fairyworld, The Cave Prophecy.

TIMMYThe cave prophecy?

JORGENNo. You're not saying it right. Go with the echo: "The Caaaaaave Prophecy".

<THE WORDS ECHO!> Jorgen holds his wand closer to the wall, and we see PAINTINGS: crude images of warrior fairies looking buff and strong.

JORGEN (CONT'D)In ancient fairy times, a fairy's main job was to fight, not frolic!

Jorgen holds his wand up to several images on the cave wall depicting buff fairies being attacked.

JORGEN (CONT'D)They constantly battled a mysterious enemy called the Darkness...

Push into a cave drawing of a dark swirling vortex. Then dissolve to -

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - A LONG, LONG TIME AGO

A scary CGI black vortex hovers in the sky above Fairyworld. Fairyworld is dark, gloomy, and very unlike the Fairyworld we know and love. All THE FAIRIES are big and buff as they use their wands to blast the black hole.

JORGEN (V.O.)...and it's Agents of Destruction: The Eliminators.

Dozens of ELIMINATORS - like the one that attacked Timmy - but more primitive, drop out of the dark cloud and advance on the Fairies. The Fairy Warriors blast and vaporize them one by one. Some Eliminators use vortex mouths to suck fairies in!

All the remaining Fairy Warriors fly up into the sky and face off with the Darkness with their wands raised.

JORGEN (V.0.) (CONT'D)And they were victorious only when they combined all of their fairy powers

and neutralized the Darkness with its natural enemy: light.

All the Fairy Warriors shoot a CONCENTRATED BEAM of light into the center of the Darkness. It explodes outward in an ENORMOUS BLAST and the Darkness recoils in terror! It rolls away, clearing the sky. Sunshine streams through.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - ANCIENT TIMES

BUFF FAIRIES dance and celebrate with <MUSIC> around bonfires in the center of town. The FAIRY ELDERS watch.

JORGEN (V.O.)But our ancient ancestors feared that this mysterious foe would come back.

JUMP CUT TO: A line of BUFF FAIRY SOLDIERS in formation. They raise their wands in unison. Then all the soldiers illuminate their wands and exit like rockets!

JORGEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)So they sent millions of our strongest soldiers into the void of space to illuminate it....

ON THE DARK EMPTY SKY - The fairy soldiers zoom past camera and disappear into infinity. Suddenly, the sky alights with millions of twinkling lights - THE STARS!

JORGEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)...so that, should the Darkness ever return, we would have a shield of protection...not unlike today's underarm deodorants...

RIPPLE TO:

INT. CAVE OF DESTINY - SAME

OFF: a cave drawing of the starry sky above Fairyworld. TIMMY'S EYES ARE WIDE!

TIMMY(riveted)

Amazing! Do you have any popcorn?

Jorgen walks to a CONCESSION STAND in the cave and goes behind the counter to get POPCORN.

JORGENSmall, medium or large?

TIMMYSurprise me!

Jorgen gets the popcorn and gives it to Timmy.

TIMMY (CONT'D)So the stars in space are really fairy warriors watching out for the Darkness?

JORGENYes - they are our first warning system - and last night our deepest outpost, "The Big Dipper Brigade" just disappeared.

TIMMYThe Big Dipper! That's why Crocker said it didn't exist!

JORGENYes. I had to wipe away all memory of its existence so people wouldn't freak out!

TIMMYSo this is great, but how does this affect me?

JORGENI'm not finished...

Jorgen turns toward the wall and <CLAPS> illuminating the previous drawings, and we see an Eliminator drawing. Then, ANOTHER CAVE DRAWING lights up and animates, too. The drawing depicts a GIANT WAND.

JORGEN (CONT'D)Our ancestors then hid an all powerful magic wand that could destroy the Darkness should it ever return. And to protect the "one wand" from falling into the wrong hands they decided that only

a "Chosen One" could possess it and unlock its true powers.

TIMMYCool. Where is it?

JORGENNo one knows. But it's said that this cryptic message reveals its location. So far, no one has been able to solve this ancient riddle.

Jorgen touches A WALL SHAPE and the riddle illuminates.

TIMMY"The Wand is hidden in a rock and sealed with a Kiss!" What does that mean?

JORGENYou tell me because the "Chosen One" is YOU, TIMMY TURNER!!!!

<JORGEN'S VOICE ECHOES> down the cave as he points to a CAVE DRAWING OF A HERO (with a pink hat and large teeth) holding a large WHITE WAND over his head. On the Hero's shirt is a "T. T." Timmy spits out his popcorn.

TIMMYWHAT!?!

JORGENYes! Check it out: pink hat, big teeth, initials T. T. - And I'm not the only one who knows it!

Jorgen shines a light on some ELIMINATOR FOOTPRINTS.

TIMMYThe Eliminators were here? They know I'm the "Chosen One"? And you just said my name out loud!

JORGENOh, crud. And it echoed a bit too, didn't it?

<KA-BLAM!!!> The Lead Eliminator (wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses) bursts through the cave wall.

LEAD ELIMINATOREliminate Timmy Turner!

TIMNYMan that thing looks terrifying.

JORGEN.<2 SNIFFS> But they smell great. And we have them outnumbered.

TWO MORE ELIMINATORS land.

JORGENHad. We had them out numbered!

A triple mouth giant vortex opens and begins sucking.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK #1 HERE]

TIMMYGet us outta here!!!

Jorgen <WHISTLES> and his motorcycle roars into scene. Timmy and Jorgen hop on and take off out of the cave as the Eliminators morph into HOVERCRAFTS and follow.

EXT. CAVE - FAIRYWORLD

Jorgen and Timmy speed along the streets of Fairyworld as the Eliminators follow, shooting lasers as they hover.

JORGENYou must find the great White Wand and use it to destroy The Darkness! That is why the Eliminators want to stop you! And my job is to protect you as you solve the riddle that will reveal its location.

<WHAM!> TWO MORE ELIMINATORS land in front of them!

TIMMYSo start protecting!!!

Jorgen swerves the bike away and heads down another street! The Eliminators morph into vehicles and follow!

ON TIMMY AND JORGEN - CONTINUOUS

They're out racing the Eliminators on their tail when THREE MORE ELIMINATORS (8) arrive in front of them!! Their mouths open into their creepy mini black holes...

JORGENHang on while I poof us out of here!

Jorgen pulls out his wand and holds it above his head - suddenly <WHA-PANG!!!> It hits a street sign that reads: "WATCH FOR LOW SIGNS." The wand is ripped from his hands.

JORGEN (CONT'D)The ironic thing is - I put that sign up!

Jorgen turns down another street. <ZHOOMP! ZHOOOMP! ZHOOMP!> THREE ELIMINATORS arrive with swirling mouths.

JORGEN (CONT'D)Hang on!

Jorgen turns and crashes right through the wall of a -

INT. FAIRY-WAREHOUSE - SAME

The fairy motor-cycle crashes into some boxes. Jorgen and Timmy go flying - then land and roll behind some crates.

WIDER - <PZZZAP!> the Lead Eliminator arrives. Then more and more arrive (12 TOTAL). They scan the area.

ON TIMMY AND JORGEN: crouched behind boxes, safe for now.

TIMMYListen...as the Chosen One, I choose not to be the Chosen One. I've never been chosen for anything! Not kick ball! Not lab partner! Why? Because I'm a bad choice.

JORGENThe cave prophecy does not lie. Don't worry, I have a plan.

TIMMYThank goodness.

JORGENIf it's you they want, it's you they'll get.

TIMMYI hate that plan.

Jorgen lifts up his pant leg and grabs a MINI-WAND strapped to his ankle. He waves it and POOF! He's a replica of Timmy!

TIMMY (CONT'D)Plan's getting better.

JORGENGood luck Timmy Turner. You were a pain in my butt, but...well, that's all I got. Good luck.

TIMMYWhere are you going?

JORGENFor you to go on, the Darkness must believe you have been eliminated. Remember the wand is hidden in a rock! Sealed with a Kiss!

WIDER - Jorgen/Timmy steps out from behind the boxes with his hands up in surrender. The Lead Eliminator opens his mouth, releasing the black hole which sucks in loose warehouse debris and Jorgen/Timmy!

JORGEN (CONT'D)AAAGGHHH!!

<FWOOSH!> Jorgen is gone! The Lead Eliminator sucks in almost all of the other Eliminators into its vortex.

LEAD ELIMINATORFinally, we have the Chosen One.

ELIMINATOR #1Can we stay - we saw some cool shops on Main Street.

ELIMINATOR #2 Yeah, no one said you were the boss of us and...

<SHOOMP!> He sucks them in. Then, the Lead Eliminator disappears into its own black hole closing the vortex, leaving nothing. It's calm. Timmy exits from behind the boxes.

TIMMYHello? Jorgen?

EXT. FAIRYWORLD MAIN STREET - SECONDS LATER

Timmy is alone in the middle of the street.

TIMMYHello? Jorgen? Anybody? I can't stop the Darkness by myself! How do I find the wand? How do I get back to Earth? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOOOOOO????

Timmy looks up at the sky and sees MILLIONS OF STARS.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Wait a minute. All those stars are fairy warriors ready to stop the Darkness! Yahoo! I'm NOT alone!!

<FOOMP!> - every star in the sky vanishes!! Beat.

TIMMY (CONT'D)AAAAAGH!!!!

CAMERA PULLS BACK SUPER FAR THROUGH SPACE and we finally see THE DARKNESS: A CHURNING MASS OF BLACK PLASMA, bigger than anything, heading towards our solar system, swallowing everything in its path!!!

EXT. M. E. R. F. - DESERT - DAY

It's a serious-looking GOVERNMENT FACILITY with big TELESCOPES and RADAR DISHES. Like a NASA sign, we see M.E.R.F.: Military Extraterrestrial Research Facility.

INT. M. E. R. F. - SAME

It's like a NASA control room. A "MEN IN BLACK" TYPE AGENT is at a desk. The phone rings. He answers.

AGENT #2Military Extraterrestrial Research Facility. Uh huh. Yeah. I see.

He calmly hangs up the phone and slams down an alarm - emergency lights flash. ALARMS BLARE! MIB-like agent #2.

AGENT #1What's with the MERF alarms?

AGENT #2It's probably nothing, but it seems that every star in the sky has completely vanished.

AGENT #1 Hmm. You're right! It's probably nothing.

He <SIPS HIS COFFEE>. Beat. Then, he <SPITS IT OUT!>

AGENT #1 (CONT'D)EVERY STAR IN THE SKY HAS VANISHED!?

AGENT #2We should put out an emergency broadcast letting the population of Earth know that an alien attack is imminent?

AGENT #1Yes. The people have a right to know what's going on. Or...

INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS

Dad and Mom listen to the radio. We see TREES moving past the window as Dad and Mom endure a bumpy ride.

RADIO ANNOUNCER...in other news, the government has announced that they've turned off the stars to conserve energy!

DAD

Oooh! I totally believe that! We have such a great government!

MOMAnd they'd never lie to us! Because deceiving people is wrong!

WIDER: the "bumping" in the car is being caused by Crocker working on the engine. The van is stopped. The "moving trees" are actually in POTS and being carried by WORKERS into a nearby TRUCK past the van window.

CROCKERFan belt's fixed! Let's MARF and roll baby!

Denzel hops in and the van takes off. Then the van stops. They all run out and separately dash behind trees to pee.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - CONTINUOUS

PAN DOWN TO TIMMY: he's all alone.

TIMMYOkay, don't panic, Turner. You're the Chosen One. All you have to do is get back to Earth, get the dumb wand, and defeat "The Darkness," whatever that is.

<KWOOSH!> The giant spinning black vortex that is the Darkness arrives over Fairyworld!!

TIMMY (CONT'D)And that must be it. AHHHHH! How do I get back to Earth?

(beat - eureka)Wait! Jorgen's Fairy Cycle!

INT. FAIRY WAREHOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Timmy hops on the fairy cycle and powers it up. <VROOOM!> A PORTAL TO EARTH opens up in front of him.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Awesome! I'll just blast through this portal and then to Earth! Stand back,

Darkness! 'Cuz here comes the Chosen One!

Timmy guns the throttle and the bike shoots forward. It throws Timmy off and goes through the portal without him. The portal closes. Timmy is all alone again.

EXT. DIMMSDALE CITY LIMITS - CONTINUOUS

Dad, Mom and Crocker are in the van, ready to go.

DADYes! We're finally leaving Dimmsdale. MARF Festival here we come!

The van takes off; a PORTAL opens, and Jorgen's bike comes screaming out, smashing into the van!!

DAD/MOM/CROCKERAAAAAGH!!

The van rolls into a ditch. A TOW TRUCK arrives, automatically hooks the car and drives it towards Dimmsdale. It passes a sign: "Welcome to Dimmsdale."

DADDoes anyone else see the irony here?

MOMLet's not panic. It's not like we're stuck all alone in space with no one to help us while the world is coming to an end.

CROCKEROoh, that would suck big toes wouldn't it?

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - SAME

Timmy is still on the ground as the flames from the bike extinguish. He looks up, and here comes the Darkness.

TIMMYHelllllpppp!!!!

END ACT TWO!

ACT THREE

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - CONTINUOUS

The Darkness swirls and is getting closer. Timmy looks up. It's getting windy and Timmy's getting nervous.

TIMMYOK, no problem. I'm the Chosen One and I just gotta find a mystical wand and stop that big scary thing that's about to eat Fairyworld and I'M IN FAIRYWORLD!

The Darkness is getting closer.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Think Turner. What fairy goes back and forth to Earth more than anybody?

<OMITTED>

Timmy sees A BILLBOARD of THE TOOTH FAIRY: "OVER TEN BILLION TEETH SERVED!" It sits atop a GIANT INDUSTRIAL-LIKE FACTORY.

TIMMYBingo. Tooth Fairy Enterprises.

INT. TOOTH FAIRY ENTERPRISES - FACTORY - MOMENTS LATER

Timmy stands in the center of dozens of CONVEYOR BELTS. Each one loaded with QUARTERS. The quarters stop under a Pneumatic Tube and are sucked up inside. Then, a CHILD'S TOOTH drops back down in their place.

TIMMYHome of the legendary "Quarter Transporter!" Every time an Earth kid puts a tooth under their pillow, it comes here and is replaced by cold hard cash.

Timmy sets the machine for "DIMMSDALE."

TIMMY (CONT'D)

But today I'm making it the "Turner Returner!"

AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE: The <WIND ROARS!> The Darkness touches down and begins swallowing Fairy World. The Fairyworld sign is the first thing to go <CRUNCH/WHOOSH!>

BACK IN TOOTH FAIRY ENTERPRISES - the ground shakes.

TIMMY (CONT'D)I hope this works!

Timmy hops on the conveyor belt and gets sucked into one of the tubes just in time!

Just then, Fairy World is sucked into the Darkness! Gone!

INT. KID'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - SAME TIME

A KID - missing a tooth - is startled awake in his Bed.

KID #1I wonder what the Toothfairy left!

The kid lifts his pillow and sees Timmy. He <SCREAMS!>

TIMMYShhhh. I'm the Chosen One.

KID #1No, you're a crazy thief who stole my quarter! Mommy! Quarter Thief!!

EXT. KID'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Timmy dashes away. The Kid yells out the window:

KID #1My dad's a cop!

Suddenly, a POLICE CAR bursts through the garage door.

TIMMYAaaagh!

ON ALLEY WAY - SAME

Timmy ducks into an ALLEY. The cop car drives past.

Timmy turns to see a WANTED POSTER with his face on it pasted on a BUS STOP CANOPY, "WANTED: QUARTER THIEF."

TIMMY (CONT'D)That was quick.

Timmy rips the poster down.

TIMMY (CONT'D)And there's no way I can locate this wand on my own. I gotta find Cosmo and Wanda. WHERE ARE YOU COSMO AND WANDA!?

INT. TRUCK STOP - SAME

ON THE EMPTY GUMBALL MACHINE. PAN OVER to see the kid sitting at a booth with all the FAIRY GUMBALLS in a pile on a table. The kid is still <CHEWING> BINKY and <LAUGHING!> All the FAIRY GUMBALLS watch in horror.

COSMOHe's still chewing Binky!

KIDEh...this one lost its flavor.

The kid puts the Binky gum wad on the table. <SPLOIK!> But then, Binky's eyes pop open. He's in shock.

BINKY(pained) It's horrible in there, and he recently had nachos!

Fairies <SCREAM> as the kid surveys the gum on the table.

KIDOooh, a tasty pink gumball!

He goes to pick up Wanda. Poof and Wanda look scared.

COSMOWanda! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Cosmo bounces towards the kid and knocks Wanda from his hand - the kid tosses Cosmo in. The kid begins to <CHEW!>

WANDACosmo! My hero!

The kid <CHEWS HAPPILY!> Juandissimo rolls next to Wanda.

JUANDISSIMOWanda, I feel terrible for your loss. Wanna go out?

Poof, makes a tough face and rolls into Juandissimo like a cue ball, knocking him all over the table. <GAH!>

<OMITTED>

WANDANice shot sweetie - and look!

The kid's mouth starts <CHEWING> uncontrollably! Then he blows a huge GREEN BUBBLE - it's COSMO!

COSMOAnyone up for a balloon ride to freedom??!

Cosmo floats down and with his sticky, chewed gum bottom, grabs Wanda and Poof and floats away!!

WANDACosmo! You saved us!!

COSMOHang on to my bubble butt, baby!!

Cosmo, Wanda and Poof float out the window to freedom.

JUANDISSIMOQuick! Everyone! Into the gross kid's mouth!

The fairy gumballs jump into the kid's mouth! His face swells up with gum. He <CHEWS> terrified and falls over.

EXT. DESERT - SKY

Cosmo, Wanda and Poof float along.

WANDAFloat towards Dimmsdale! We have to make sure Timmy's not in any trouble.

They pass a sign: "Dimmsdale 120 miles." Then the wind picks up and blows them away from Dimmsdale.

COSMOAnd by Dimmsdale, you mean float wherever the wind takes us - whee!

BACK IN DIMMSDALE - CONTINUOUS

ON TWO COPS: one slaps a Timmy Wanted Poster on a garbage can. They walk away. Timmy rises from the garbage can.

TIMMYThe Chosen One was alone in the city, but he knew if he could find his fairies he could solve the ancient riddle and locate the-GAH!

A BUS arrives behind him. The doors fly open, slamming Timmy up against the bus. <GAH!> A TOUR GUIDE gets off with a TOUR GROUP.

TOUR GUIDEOkay, follow me to see "The Kiss," Shcmodin's most famous sculpture, here at the Dimmsdale Art Museum!

The door closes, revealing the flattened Timmy.

TIMMY"The Kiss?" Wait a second...

Timmy's POV: the tour group walks up the steps to THE MUSEUM (think the Met in NYC). Timmy looks up. He sees a huge banner for Schmodin's "the Kiss"

TIMMY (CONT'D)The White Wand is "hidden in the rock and sealed with a kiss!" I don't need Cosmo and Wanda, the wand is in that

statue! This looks like a job for the Chosen One.

<RIPS OFF HIS SHIRT!> We see Timmy's chest. He covers up.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Ooops, I don't have a Chosen One costume. (looks up) Cool.

Timmy looks up to see "The Pink Shirt" CLOTHING STORE.

INT. DIMMSDALE ART MUSEUM - LATER

ON "THE KISS" SCULPTURE: It's 10 feet tall.

TOUR GUIDEConsidered priceless, the statue is 500 years old. More than a work of art, it's a work of magic!

<OMITTED>

A tourist goes to touch it. The TG slaps his hand away. A GREEK CATAPULT rolls in. Timmy pushes past PATRONS.

TIMMYWhat's goin' on? How's trix?

He stops, then pulls the lever, launches a ROCK and pulverizes the statue.

TOUR GUIDESUFFERING STATUES!!!

Timmy runs over to inspect the ruins of the statue.

TIMMYDon't panic! I'm the Chosen One. I'm saving your lives.

TOUR GUIDEYou're a statue smasher! SECURITY!

The tour guide pulls an alarm. <ALARMS SOUND!>

TIMMYWhere's the wand? THERE'S NO WAND!

There's no wand. Nothing. SECURITY GUARDS arrive.

SECURITY GUARD #1Freeze Statue Smasher!

SECURITY GUARD #2Hey! He's also the Quarter Thief!!

TIMMYAnd that's when the Chosen One decided to RUN...

Timmy takes off running! The Tour Members grab Ancient Weapons and chase after him!!

TIMMY (CONT'D)AND GRAB A DISGUISE!

He runs past the MONA LISA painting, rips the face off the painting and runs out the front door.

EXT. STREETS - SAME

Timmy - with the Mona Lisa face covering his own - is suddenly surrounded by COP CARS.

COPFreeze!

The angry mob arrives. Timmy is surrounded.

COP (CONT'D)And tell us mysterious lady - have you seen this evil perpetrator?

They give Timmy THE WANTED POSTER of himself which now reads: "Wanted: Quarter Thief/Statue Smasher."

TIMMYUm, no. I - uh feel pretty.

COPThanks trustworthy citizen with a renaissance smile. Move out boys!

The cops and the mob leave. Timmy peels off his mask.

TIMMYNo wonder I'm the Chosen One. I'm gooood.

Timmy throws the wanted poster away and dashes o.s. The poster lands on the sidewalk. Beat. Suddenly, a large LEATHER BOOT steps next to it. A METAL HAND picks it up. We see the Lead Eliminator with two other Eliminators.

LEAD ELIMINATORThe Chosen One is here. We were fooled. Find him.

ELIMINATOR #1And we will. Right after we hit this sweet pink shirt shop.

The Lead Eliminator turns to them slowly.

ELIMINATOR #2Oh, you're the only one who gets to wear cool Earth clothes?

LEAD ELIMINATOR(beat.) Hurry up.

They bash through the store front. We hear <SCREAMS!>

EXT. TURNER HOUSE - LATER

Timmy runs up to the Turner MAILBOX.

TIMMYI know Jorgen erased everyone's memory of Timmy Turner, but let's just hope he didn't erase....

Timmy pulls the FLAG ON THE MAILBOX. The mailbox tips backwards, revealing a hole in the ground. A POLE rises.

TIMMY (CONT'D)...the Timmy Cave!

Timmy jumps onto the pole and slides down. The mailbox tips back to its original position.

INT. TIMMY CAVE - CONTINUOUS

Timmy slides down into the Timmy cave - a Bat-Cave-like high-tech sanctum under his house. He lands in a chair - which triggers a PIZZA SLICE and SODA to rise on a tray next to him. Timmy grabs the soda, sips and types on a control panel in front of a huge computer screen.

TIMMYI knew the Fairy Snacking Tracking device would pay off someday!

Timmy hits "SEARCH," "LOCATE" and "COSMO AND WANDA" (PINK AND GREEN BUTTONS). The Computer does its thing and a GRID of the UNITED STATES comes up. A PINK and GREEN BLIP appears over NEVADA; the blip moves all over the place.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Las Vegas? Okay, not a problem because I have the inviso-cycle!

Timmy hits a button and a trap door opens. We hear a <MOTORCYCLE> arrive but we can't see it. Timmy tries to feel for it with his hands. He can't.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Where is it? Okay, looks like I'm going with the NORMAL CYCLE!

Timmy presses another button and a sleek, shiny NINJA BIKE arrives. Timmy hops on.

TIMMY (CONT'D)Time to Rock and Road! And this time I'm gonna hang on tight.

He puts on a HELMET, hops on and <REVS> the powerful engine. The bike takes off up a ramp.

EXT. TURNER HOUSE - SAME

The mailbox rises, and Timmy zooms out - flies in the air and crashes into a MERF MOBILE

INT. MERF TRUCK - SAME

Crashed, Timmy takes off his helmet.

AGENT #2Well-well, just the man MERF's looking for.

ON: Timmy. PRISON BARS slam over his face! PULL WIDE to see that we're now in - A MERF INTERROGATION ROOM!!

AGENT #1 and AGENT #2 stand across from Timmy.

AGENT #1You're in a lot of trouble, Mister. Because according to our records, you have no records. You don't exist.

AGENT #2And that's why you're at the Military Extraterrestrial Research Facility. M.E.R.F. for short.

AGENT #1 You're an alien from the future sent back to change the course of history, aren't you? So what are you after, the President, an ebola strain, Tom Cruise?

TIMMYI'm not an alien.

They show SURVEILLANCE PHOTO'S of Timmy being chased earlier on AJ's hover craft by the Lead Eliminator.

AGENT #1Well these pictures of you on a hover craft being chased through Dimmsdale by a shape shifting man-bot suggest otherwise.

He shows PICS of Eliminators outside the pink shirt shop.

AGENT #2And these photos were taken an hour ago.

TIMMYWait. The Eliminators are back??

AGENT #2If I were you I'd surrender now, and let us start dissecting you.

TIMMYI'm not an alien! And, unless I find a magic wand hidden in a rock and sealed with a kiss those guys and a giant star destroying black hole are going to eat us.

AGENT #2Do you think this is a joke? Do you think we're idiots?

Agent #1 pulls out a MEN IN BLACK-like LASER BLASTER and slams it on the table.

AGENT #1Well I got news for you. They don't give high-tech neural stun rays to idiots.

Agent #2 slams some more Hi-tech Weapons down.

AGENT #2Or laser blasters able to cut concrete walls five feet thick?

Agent #1 throws down some CAR KEYS.

AGENT #1And you sure don't get a super spy car with a trunk full of spy stuff unless you know what you're doing!

AGENT #2So we ask again - WHO ARE YOU??

Beat. Timmy grabs the neural stun blaster and fires.

AGENT #1/AGENT #2Gah!/Goik!

The Agents are motionless. Timmy grabs the laser blaster and calmly cuts a hole in the thick concrete wall.

TIMMYI'm the Chosen One.

Timmy jumps out the hole in the wall.

AGENT #1(paralyzed/teeth clenched)

I hope he doesn't take the car.

<VROOM!> Timmy drives the CAR past the hole in the wall.

INT. SPY CAR - SAME

Timmy drives and punches keys on a keyboard.

TIMMYNow to find Cosmo and Wanda by linking this computer to the Timmy Cave Super Computer.

<DING!> It does! The dashboard shows a digital road map. Pink, Green and Purple dots light up over Vegas.

TIMMY COMPUTERTargets located over outskirts of Las Vegas.

TIMMYWhoo-hoo! Now to get my fairies and get away from the Eliminators!

Timmy zooms down the road towards Vegas.

INT. TRUCK STOP - CONTINUOUS

ON A WAITRESS: she places WATER GLASSES next to a booth and talks to THREE PATRONS obscured by their MENUS.

WAITRESS What'll it be, fellas?

The menus come down to reveal the Three Eliminators. Eliminators #1 and #2 are in pink t-shirts.

LEAD ELIMINATORDo you have any uranium?

WAITRESSUh...no.

ELIMINATOR #2We'll have the chicken fingers.

The waitress writes it down and leaves.

LEAD ELIMINATORYou guys look stupid.

ELIMINATOR #2That's because you're stupid.

LEAD ELIMINATORWhat?

The kid (who ate the gumballs) runs up to the table.

KIDDON'T EAT THE GUMBALLS! They scream when you chew them! And they have eyes!! EYES!

The kid runs away. Eliminator #1 and #2 pick up their WATER GLASSES, open their VORTEX MOUTHS and suck the WATER inside plus EVERYONE IN THE DINER!

The vortexes stop as the waitress comes out with CHICKEN FINGERS. She sees the destruction and runs out <SCREAMING> dropping the chicken fingers on the table.

LEAD ELIMINATORNext time use a straw.

ON A TV (hanging on the wall): a newscast comes on. Timmy's picture appears. The Eliminators see it.

CHET U. BETCHAThis is Chet U. Betcha on the Convenient News Network! The quarter thief slash statue smasher is on the loose and last seen heading towards Las Vegas. But just like all the stars being gone from the sky, the government assures us we have nothing to worry about.

LEAD ELIMINATORLet's go to Las Vegas.

The Eliminators turn into their "Jet Plane" selves and take off. Then, they come back and grab the chicken.

EXT. BARSTOW CALIFORNIA - DESERT - CONTINUOUS

Timmy drives and checks the tracking device.

TIMMYAccording to this, Cosmo and Wanda are right in front of me! But I don't see...

<SPLAT!> The Cosmo bubble smacks into the windshield!

TIMMY/COSMO/WANDAAAAAAAAGH!

The car shoots off the road and spins to a stop. Timmy looks at his wind-shield. It's Cosmo. Wanda and Poof are stuck to his gummy butt.

WANDA/COSMO/POOFTimmy!/Poof!

TIMMYCosmo! Wanda! Poof!

Timmy gets out and peels Cosmo off the windshield. Cosmo still floats - he's not popped.

TIMMY (CONT'D)I missed you so much! Wait, you're gumballs?

Chomp! The Poof gumball takes a bite of Timmy's finger.

TIMMY (CONT'D)And Poof's still teething!

(pulls Poof off.)Jorgen said he had to protect you, but this is what he came up with?

WANDAProtect us - from what?

TIMMY

I'm not sure if this is gonna make sense but - The Darkness is back.

Beat. Cosmo pops and falls on Timmy's hand.

COSMO/WANDATHE DARKNESS IS BACK!

TIMMY (CONT'DAnd you've got to help me find an ancient white wand because I'm the Chosen One.

Beat. Cosmo and Wanda burst out laughing.

WANDAHAHAHA! Okay, the Darkness I can buy, but you as the Chosen One?

TIMMYHey, so far I've been an awesome Chosen One.

COSMOAnd I suppose you want us to believe that the Eliminators are chasing you, too!

TIMMYYes, but they can't find me as long as you don't say my name.

COSMOY'mean TIMMY TURNER?

Suddenly, the Eliminators land behind Timmy.

TIMMYI should have seen that coming.

LEAD ELIMINATOREliminate the Chosen One.

WANDA/COSMOOkay, we believe you now.

The Eliminator's arms turn into cannons. They blast laser balls at Timmy. <BLAST!> Timmy jumps behind the spy car.

TIMMYAh! But thank goodness you guys are here! You can stop the Eliminators with magic!

WANDAUh...we don't have our wands.

The Eliminators continue to fire and approach the car.

TIMMYAhhh! I can't believe it's all gonna end while I hide behind a spy car full of cool weapons and gadgets! Wait a minute...

Timmy looks at the CONTROL on his key chain. Three buttons: "LOCK. UNLOCK. DESTROY." Timmy pushes "DESTROY" and the car transforms into a huge PLASMA GUN!

TIMMY (CONT'D)Yeah, that'll work.

Timmy fires a GOOEY, TAR-LIKE PLASMA at the Eliminators.

LEAD ELIMINATOREliminate the Chosen rnnn...

The plasma sticks to their arms, legs and bodies. They look like gooey, tar-covered snowmen.

TIMMYAwesome! And now to help you guys get back to fairy form.

Timmy takes Cosmo, Wanda and Poof gum and chews them up.

COSMOHow is this helping??

Timmy blows three big BUBBLES, each with a fairy face on them. Then he "sculpts" tiny, little gummy bodies under the bubbles and creates gummy versions of the fairies.

TIMMYThere! Back to normal...sorta.

COSMO

I hate being gum. What happens if we break wind?

Poof does, and A BUBBLE expands on his butt.

COSMO (CONT'D)Cool! I like being gum!

WANDADo not pop that bubble.

Timmy pushes a button on the big plasma gun, and it transforms into a motorcycle. Timmy hops on the bike. Cosmo, Wanda and Poof float down and stick to his jacket.

TIMMYOkay, let's go find that wand!

Timmy revs the engine and <ZOOOM!> The bike takes off without them. They all fall onto the ground.

WANDAYou stink at riding motorcycles!

Suddenly, the gang is surrounded by 6 M.E.R.F. AGENTS with cool HOVER-JETS! The Agents climb out, draw amazing MEN IN BLACK-type weapons and point at Timmy.

COSMOAnd now you've got bigger problems.

AGENT #1Freeze, Quarter Stealing, Statue Smashing, Spy Car Thief!

Suddenly, the scene begins to <RUMBLE!> Everyone looks to the sky, and a GIANT BLACK HOLE appears over the desert.

TIMMYAnd even bigger problems.

Cosmo <FARTS> this time and gets a bubble butt.

WANDADon't pop that either.

FADE OUT.

END ACT III.

ACT FOUR

EXT. NEVADA DESERT ROAD - CONTINUOUS - DUSK

Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo and Poof (Cosmo and Poof have bubble butts) are surrounded by the M.E.R.F. Agents and their hover crafts. The Darkness looms in the sky.

AGENT #1Timmy Turner, we're placing you under arrest by order of M.E.R.F!

AGENT #2 Not to be confused with M.A.R.F., which we have tickets to tonight!

AGENT #1By the way, cool balloon animal thingies.

TIMMYDo you guys not see the giant swirling portal of death? Don't you want to do something to stop it? Call a General! Call the President!

AGENT #2Can't. They're all going to M.A.R.F.. It's gonna be awesome...

AGENT #1We're gonna rock out to Crosby, Stills, Ashes and Neil Not-Young...

AGENT #2...Backman Turner Overthehill and the MARFiest band in the world KISS!!

PAN to a BILLBOARD for the "M.A.R.F. FESTIVAL! Featuring KISS!" GENE holds a WHITE, STAR-SHAPED GUITAR. Timmy's eyes go wide - we zoom in and snap out for that Hitchcock effect. <WHOOSH!> IMAGES flash through Timmy's mind: JORGEN telling of the "Cave Prophecy"...AND THE CAVE DRAWING OF THE "WHITE WAND"...

JORGEN....find the white wand....

ON THE CAVE PROPHECY: snap close on the word "Kiss."

JORGEN (CONT'D)...it's hidden in the rock and...

The images stop, and we're back in the present.

TIMMY....SEALED WITH A KISS! The White Wand is a guitar at the M.A.R.F. Festival starring KISS!!

WANDAWe gotta get that guitar, so you can stop the Darkness!!

All the Agents set their blasters to stun and take aim.

AGENT #2You're not going anywhere.

AGENT #1Any last words before you're freeze blasted and dissected?

TIMMYYes, (to wanda) Wanda get ready to pop the bubbles.

AGENT #2I don't get your young hip lingo but ready - aim...

TIMMY AND WANDAFire!

They fire! Timmy and Wanda pop Cosmo and Poof's butt bubbles and shoot into the sky causing all the agents to freeze themselves in their own crossfire.

Timmy and Wanda float back down holding Cosmo and Poof. Timmy takes the blasters from the agents.

TIMMY

Like I said before - don't mess with the Chosen One.

COSMOOr Captain Bubblepants!

Timmy and the gang jump in a hover jet.

IN THE COCKPIT -

TIMMYNow to hit auto pilot and get this hunk of MERF to MARF.

WANDAWait! Where's Poof!

TIMMYGaahhhh!

Timmy holds up his arm. Poof is <CHEWING> on it.

WANDAWe gotta get that kid a teething ring after we stop the Darkness.

Timmy presses the AUTO PILOT BUTTON.

ON A HOVER-JET: <WHOOSH!> It's gone!

The flames shoot out, bake, harden the goop, and imprison the Eliminators. Beat. The goopy shells begin to crumble. <KA-BLAM!!> The Eliminators break free!!

LEAD ELIMINATOREliminate the Chosen One!

The Eliminators turn into jets and take off!

EXT. SPACE - THE MOON

The Darkness moves closer to Earth and engulfs the Moon.

EXT. VEGAS ROCK HARD ARENA - LATER

A HUGE BILLBOARD READS: "M.A.R.F. FESTIVAL - TONIGHT!!"

The Hover Jet lands right in front of the arena Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda and Poof jump out and run to the entrance.

An USHER works the turnstile as Timmy and gang run up.

TIMMYI have to get into this festival. It's a long story, but I'm the Chosen One.

USHERNo one gets in without a ticket or a backstage pass.

TIMMYOh, really? Okay, here's my backstage pass.

Timmy pulls out a MERF BLASTER. He sets it to PLASMA BLAST and fires at the wall - <BLAAAAAAM> and leaves a smouldering hole. The usher thinks for a beat:

USHEREnjoy the show.

INT. VEGAS ROCK HARD ARENA - SECONDS LATER

FIRES BLAST on stage as KISS appears.

ANNOUNCERGive it up for KISS!

Kiss launches into a rocking song. The CROWD <GOES NUTS!> GENE SIMMONS goes to the mic.

GENE SIMMONSAre you too old to rock and roll?

CROWDNooooo!!!

Everyone in the crowd's back <SNAPS!>

CROWD (CONT'D)AAAH, OUR BACKS!!

ON THE DOORS: they swing open. Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda and Poof arrive with a backlit hero glow around them.

ON STAGE: ACE FREHLEY PLAYS THE WHITE WAND GUITAR.

TIMMYThere's the White Wand!

WANDABUT HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET ONTO THE STAGE TO GET IT?

Timmy looks back into - THE CONCESSION AREA. TIMMY'S POV - PAN the booths for: "ANTACIDS," "HEAT WRAPS/ICE PACKS" AND OFFICIAL "M.E.R.F.andise!" (It's spy gear for sale).

TIMMYShpingo!

ANGLE ON THE STAGE: Ace Frehley jams. PAN UP....

ON THE CATWALK: Timmy, in a "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE" REPELLING HARNESS, looks down (note: above them are GIANT AIR VENTS). The arena shakes.

COSMOWow, this place is Rockin'!

TIMMYYeah, but it's not because of KISS...

EXT. STADIUM - CONTINUOUS

HIGH ABOVE THE STADIUM: the Darkness breaks through the clouds! The <WIND IS HOWLING> and the ground is shaking!

<WHOOSH!> The Eliminator Jets zoom toward the Vegas Skyline. They are close!

INT. CONCERT - CONTINUOUS

Timmy's POV. Down below KISS rocks.

TIMMYJust grab the other end of the line and lower me down; I'll snag the white and you pull me back up!

Timmy clips a WIRE to his vest, jumps off the catwalk and-

ON THE STAGE - CONTINUOUS

KISS rocks out. Timmy lands on the head of Ace Frehley driving him (but not the guitar) into the stage. Timmy now holds the guitar/wand.

TIMMY/ACEAaagh!/Ooof!

BACK ON THE CATWALK - CONTINUOUS

WANDAI thought you were holding the line!

COSMOWhat line?

ON STAGE - CONTINUOUS

GENE SIMMONS steps to the mic and addresses the crowd...

GENE SIMMONSNow, let's hear a guitar solo!

Suddenly, A SPOTLIGHT shines down on Timmy (who's like a deer caught in headlights). The song comes to a sudden stop. The crowd <REACTS IN SHOCK!>

GENE SIMMONS (CONT'D)Who the heck is that?

TIMMYWould you believe I'm the Chosen One.

KISSTHE CHOSEN ONE???!

KISS snaps into warrior poses. The band's instruments transform into WEAPONS: Gene's BASS becomes a LASER BLASTER; Paul's GUITAR becomes a BATTLE AXE; and Peter's BASS DRUM becomes a CANNON! They aim at Timmy.

TIMMYSo you don't believe.

ON THE CATWALK - CONTINUOUS

Cosmo, Wanda and Poof look down.

WANDA AND COSMOWe'll save you, Timmy!

They all jump off the catwalk...but float slowly down.

ON KISS - CONTINUOUS

GENE SIMMONSWe are The Galactic Guardians of the White Wand!

TIMMYI thought you were KISS.

PAUL STANLEYThat's our day job. We've protected the White Wand for centuries.

TIMMYCenturies? Wow, you guys are older than you look.

PAUL STANLEYWhy do you think we wear the makeup?

GENE SIMMONSAnd we knew that, someday, either an agent of the Darkness or a Chosen savior would come to claim it.

COSMO (O.S.)Almost there, Timmy!

GENE SIMMONSIf you're the Chosen One, you must prove it - and you might want to hurry.

EXT. EARTH/SPACE - the Darkness begins to engulf Earth.

BACK AT THE CONCERT - CONTINUOUS

TIMMYOkay, okay! How do I prove it???

GENE SIMMONSBequeath to us the chosen harkness, and this ax is yours to light the darkness.

TIMMY What the HECK DOES THAT MEAN?

The fairies finally float down next to Timmy.

COSMOWe made it!

WANDATimmy! They can't give you the wand until you recite the "Chosen One Creed" or say some ancient code or something.

TIMMYBut I don't know any code. All I know is I was erased from everyone's memories; I barely escaped being destroyed by the "eliminators", figured out an impossible KISS riddle, got chased by MERF to get to MARF, only to have you tell me I need a secret code which I don't have because I'm plain ol Timmy Turner!

<VABOOM!> (3) Eliminators bash through the ceiling and land in the aisle.

TIMMY (CONT'D)I said my name out loud didn't I?

LEAD ELIMINATOREliminate the Chosen One.

The Lead Eliminator fires a laser blast from his arm that misses Timmy but destroys an amplifier. They march down the aisle shoving concert goers out of the way.

GENE SIMMONSOkay, we believe you - the White Wand is yours.

He tosses Timmy the WHITE WAND.

TIMMYFinally! Now what do I do with it?

PAUL STANLEYYou're kidding right?

The Eliminators ARMS transform into COOL WEAPONS and aim right at Timmy.

LEAD ELIMINATORShow's over, Chosen One.

GENE SIMMONSThe show is never over! Time to rock and roll!

Suddenly KISS leaps between Timmy and the Eliminators. Paul shoots a MAGIC BEAM from his guitar and shorts out Eliminator #1. He falls. Eliminator #2 shoots laser blasts at the stage, but Peter Criss throws two DRUM CYMBALS which cut him in half. He shorts out. Then the Lead Eliminator's HAND transforms into a LARGE RING LIKE PLASMA WEAPON with glowing energy balls. He fires and it disintegrates all of Kiss's weapons.

PAUL STANLEYOkay, all our weapons are bye-bye.

Timmy rises into frame holding Poof.

TIMMYNot every weapon. Poof look - a teething ring!

Poof sees the big ring weapon on the Lead Eliminator. His eyes go wide, he drools, then zooms to it like a piranha and munches.

LEAD ELIMINATORGet it off! Get it off!

Lead Eliminator shakes his arm with such force the ring flies off and lands on the stage. Poof gnaws happily.

GENEAnd now it's time for you to be "Eliminated."

Gene Simmons blows a FIRE STREAM at the Lead Eliminator and melts all of them into a METALLIC PUDDLE!

COSMOThat's what I call bad breath!

Suddenly, the puddle re-forms into EVEN MORE ELIMINATORS!

GENEOkay, note to self: melting Eliminators makes more Eliminators!

The Eliminator's arms turn into BLASTERS and start firing at our heroes. They dive behind the large speakers.

TIMMYYou're not very good guardians.

GENEWell, you're not the greatest Chosen One either, bub.

CUT TO - The Eliminators are almost at the stage. They are still blasting.

LEAD ELIMINATOR Eliminate the Chosen One.

Back on Timmy and the gang.

TIMMYWell we gotta do something! An army is not gonna fall from the sky and help us.

JUANDISSIMO (V.O.)That's what you think, Chosen One!

Everyone looks up to see ALL THE FAIRIES AS GUM BUBBLES floating down from vents! They all have bubble butts.

COSMOIt's the other fairies! With bubble butts!

Jaundissimo leads the charge.

JUANDISSIMOBubble Butt Brigade, ATTACK!!

They pop their butts and zoom toward the Eliminators. <SPLAT!> The Eliminators are coated with bubble goo. They struggle and fall. They are stopped.

Timmy and Kiss rise from behind the speaker.

TIMMYYou did it. You stopped the Eliminators!

<RIIIIP!!!> The roof suddenly gets ripped off the stadium!! The Darkness is here!!! <THE WIND HOWLS!!!>

TIMMY (CONT'D)But not the Darkness.

A wad of gum rises from the goop in Jaundissimo's form.

JUANDISSIMOWe don't have enough gum to stop that.

GENE SIMMONSLight the Darkness Timmy. You're the Chosen One! This is what you were chosen for!

TIMMYBut I don't know how to play guitar!

GENE SIMMONSDon't play it. Feel it.

Peter Criss starts playing a <SLOW DRUM BEAT!>

PAUL STANLEYFaster tempo! We don't have a lot of time here!

Peter speeds up! The other guys join in on GUITAR. <THE BEAT STARTS TO BUILD!> The audience - still paralyzed from back pain - shakes their arms with the beat.

GUY IN CROWDOh great. A song from the "new" album.

PUSH IN ON: Timmy as the music fills his soul. Suddenly, his hand starts glowing, and he plays a lead.

TIMMYI...I feel it!

Timmy winds up like Pete Townsend and <BRAKAM!> He plays a power chord! <BLAM!> MAGICAL GLOWING SOUND WAVES rip up and out of the stadium into the heart of the Darkness!!

ON THE DARKNESS: it let's out an <ASTRO-SCREAM>, recoils for a moment then advances again!!

COSMO AND WANDAKeep rocking Chosen One!!!

Timmy plays an Eddie Van Halen screaming lick up the neck of the guitar. It's awesome! He ends with a <HIGH PITCHED NOTE> and illuminates the instrument. The note builds and builds in feed backed suspense until.....<KAPOW!!!>

It sends another explosive BEAM OF LIGHT out of the top of the guitar and straight into the center of the black hole that explodes! The Darkness <SCREECHES>. It's in pain....the mists and clouds inside form a pained face?

PAUL STANLEYOooh, that's gotta hurt.

TIMMYIt feels pain?

GENE Feels pains; speaks English. Who cares? One more blast will eliminate the Darkness!

Timmy aims at the Darkness.

TIMMYGo away and never come back or I will blast you. Go. Away.

GENEYou're talking to it? Talking to it doesn't work!

Suddenly, the Darkness starts spinning the opposite way.

WANDAIt's working!

<WHOOSH!> All Eliminators zoom out of their sticky gum traps and are sucked into the Darkness.

EXT. SPACE - SAME

<ZHOOOMP!> Eliminators disappear into the Darkness. Then it reverses direction, retracts and releases the Earth.

The Darkness zooms away from camera and gets smaller in the distance. As it does, it restores our universe back to its original self. It spits out the Moon, then Mars, Saturn, etc.

EXT. DEEPER SPACE - SAME

<WHOOSH!> The Darkness spits out Fairyworld! It's back! The rainbow bridge illuminates and extends all the way to the end as <BLOOP> the Fairyworld sign reappears!

EXT. DOWNTOWN FAIRYWORLD - SAME

JORGEN (O.S.)...AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

<WHAM!> From the sky, Jorgen lands face first on the pavement <OOF!>. He gets up, raises his arms in the air.

JORGEN (CONT'D)HE DID IT! AND MAN IT WAS DARK IN THERE!

EXT. VEGAS ROCK HARD ARENA - NIGHT

The dust settles and everyone (Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, and KISS) get up. They look into the distant sky to see a small white light retract into a star burst... then disappear. Some FANS peek up from their seats.

GUY IN CROWDAwesome light show.

The night sky is silent and empty. No stars.

COSMOIs it over?

Suddenly, the sky illuminates with millions of twinkling stars! <KA-BLING!!!> It's beautiful.

TIMMYNow, it's over.

Timmy plays a little lick on the white wand guitar.

TIMMY (CONT'D)So you guys are actually fairy warriors?

PAUL STANLEYWe prefer the term: "Magical Order of Rocking Fairies".

COSMOYou mean "MORF?"

Mom, Dad and Crocker finally arrive at the stadium.

CROCKERHurray, we finally made it to "MARF?"

MOMBut we're too late.

DADAnd it looks like they really blew the lid off the place too.

CROCKERWhere are the bathrooms?

GENE SIMMONS(to Timmy) The Darkness is gone, but you didn't Eliminate it. Why?

TIMMYBecause I'm the Chosen One, not an Eliminator. And I don't think it's coming back for a long, long time.

PAUL STANLEYWe should like, party.

EXT. FAIRYWORLD - LATER

KISS plays a rocking song to a festival CROWD OF FESTIVE FAIRIES. BANNERS celebrate: "Thank you Chosen One!" Timmy is in a SKYBOX with Jorgen, Wanda and Poof.

WANDAYou did it, Timmy. You found the white wand and stopped the Darkness.

Poof hugs Timmy.

COSMOBut how did you get your Mom, Dad and Crocker the best seats at the concert?

ON FRONT ROW: Mom, Dad, Crocker and the Agents rock out.

JORGEN'Cuz he's the Chosen One, and I owe him one. He saved my butt, but I'm erasing all their memory of Fairyworld when the show's over.

TIMMYI like being the Chosen One.

Suddenly, <KA-BLAM!> A lightning bolt hits the stage! When the smoke clears, we see a MUSCULAR WARRIOR with big teeth wearing a ripped, pink shirt and a pink bandana. This guy is a total stud.

WARRIORAT LAST! I, TURBO THUNDER, THE CHOSEN ONE, HAVE COMPLETED MY TRAINING - AND HAVE ARRIVED TO OBTAIN THE WHITE WAND -AND TO LIGHT THE DARKNESS!

He spots the white wand in Timmy's hand.

WARRIOR (CONT'D)And there it is! From titanium teeth and pits of wonder, sing White Wand with Turbo Thunder.

He uses "the force" to pull the wand from Timmy's hand and grab it for himself.

WARRIOR (CONT'D)STAND DOWN EVIL SPACE HOLE OF DESTRUCTION!

He points the wand at the sky. Beat. We hear crickets.

WARRIOR (CONT'D)

Where's the big scary space hole. There's supposed to be a big scary space hole. AM I LATE?

Timmy's mouth is wide open in shock. He turns to Jorgen.

TIMMYAre you telling me, he's the Chosen One? This whole time, it wasn't me?

JORGENWhat? You saw the cave drawing, too! Pink hat. Buck teeth. T. T.? I'm not perfect, okay?

WANDAIt doesn't matter, Timmy! You'll always be OUR Chosen One.

They all hug. KISS hits a power chord, and Turbo Thunder gets blown back into a speaker. CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SEE everyone rocking out to the music of the Chosen One in a saved universe without the Darkness.

EXT. SPACE - SAME

THE CAMERA ZOOMS through the Stars and stops on a clear image of the Big Dipper. We see that the stars in the constellation are actually the stars on the ends of the wands of FAIRY SOLDIERS who look like Jorgen.

ON A FAIRY SOLDIER - He's buff and tuff like the ancient fairy warriors. He talks into a radio.

BIG DIPPER #1 This is Big Dipper Brigade. We are clear in the night sky - no signs of the Darkness. What is..? OH NO!!!!

PULL BACK at high speed to see that this warrior is the bright pan handle light of the BIG DIPPER CONSTELLATION.

We see the Big Dipper in its entirety, then suddenly.... <BLINK!> It's gone! As <DRAMATIC MUSIC ESCALATES>, we...

FADE OUT.

THE END...