28 SpeakEasy Sample

7/31/2019 28 SpeakEasy Sample

1/29

C o n q u e r i n g Y o u r F e a r o f S p e a k i n g i n P u b l i c

S p e a k E a s y

Instructor Guide

Velsoft Courseware Inc.

Soft Skills

Coursewa


2/29

SpeakEasyConquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Instructor Guide


3/29

Copyright

All rights reserved world-wide under International and Pan-American copyrightagreements. No part of this document can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of Velsoft.


4/29

Instructor Guide

Before the WorkshopRead through the instructor guide. This is intended as a guide and not a bible. Be

guided by your experience, the needs of the participants, and your own common sense, as

well as the information in here.

However, most of the suggestions and all of the information has been developed through

research and hands-on, classroom experience. We recommend arriving at least one hour

before the start of the session, particularly on Day One of working with a client.

We suggest you shake hands with each participant as they come into the classroom and

introduce yourself to them; it breaks the ice and sets the type of friendly atmosphere thatis conducive to learning.

Many of the flip charts can be prepared ahead of time. The first page should be set up like

this: Name of Workshop

Facilitated by (Your Name)

Your Organizations Name

Include in a different color, around the perimeter of the room, the words Courtesy,

Participation, and Confidentiality.

You might also want to add the words Exercises, Role Play, Learning, and Fun.


5/29

Session One: Introduction and Course Overview(8:30-9:00)

Introduce yourself. Establish credibility, by giving examples of training experience, and

your own experiences with public speaking, including some war stories if you have

them.

Ask that participants respect confidentiality. What we say in this room stays in this

room. Remind them that it was Mark Twain who said, If two people have the sameopinion, you dont need one of them, so we are at liberty to disagree with one another,and with the Instructor.

However, respect other peoples opinions. Act courteously, to make sure we give other

people their share of air time, and that we listen when other people are talking; and

finally, we ask that you participate. You get out of a workshop just about what you putinto it, and you will learn as much from sharing with others as you will from the concepts

we bring you.

Give the participants a chance to introduce themselves to you. You will probably want toknow their name, their department, their position title and how they are involved in

public speaking.

Address housekeeping items, like breaks (usually 10:15 and 2:15) and noon hour (12 to 1,

go to lunch on their own). Give them info about washrooms, coffee, and cell phones.

Remind the group that this is a safe house, the place where they can learn from theirmistakes in a supportive atmosphere, rather than in the workplace where it can harm their

credibility or their organization.

Course OverviewAsk students to turn to their workbooks and read the introduction with the overall

objectives of the workshop (Session One). Then ask them to identify their own learning

objectives. Turn to the agenda (on flip charts) and look at the topics you plan to cover.

Go over these with the group and ask if there is anything there they didnt expect to see,or something NOT there that they had been hoping for.

For topics they dont see:

Reassure group if a topic will be covered although it doesnt appear in the

Agenda.

Opt to squeeze in something not covered if there is time, its appropriate, and ifeverybody is interested.

For those things they feel are not of interest to the group, you have the option of

touching it briefly and moving on. This doesnt happen often, but these questionsare your hip pocket needs assessment to make sure participants get what they

expect, IF IT IS POSSIBLE.


6/29

Generally, topics not within the realm of this program must be dealt with atanother time. Suggest other programs, preferably those of Velsoft, or talk with theparticipant at end of day.

Learning Objectives

To enhance the ability to speak one-on-one with others. To feel more confident speaking socially or small groups such as meetings.

To practice developing these skills in a safe and supportive setting.


7/29

Icebreaker: Sports Fans

Before the workshop, cut out the Sports Fans cards in the handouts folder. At the

beginning of this exercise, pass out one card to each participant. They must find other

members of the group with the same card, but they cant use words. They must act outtheir sport. Once they have found all members, they must make the action collectively.

Once everyone is grouped, ask each group to come up with three things that they

would like to get from the workshop. Give them flip chart paper to record their ideas.

Icebreaker Debrief

Now, bring the group back together and combine all the objectives gathered onto a flip

chart. What seems to be the conclusion?


8/29

Session Two: Good Communication Skills(9:00-9:45)

Defining Communication (9:00-9:15)

How would you define communication? Responses will likely include sending messages

that others understand, whether we send them by speaking, writing or by our bodylanguage.

Why develop good communication skills? Responses can include the opportunity to

express your opinion, change the course of a project, seem more knowledgeable andmore apt to be promoted, express emotions in positive ways etc.

Pre-AssignmentWhat communication opportunities have you missed in the last three weeks? Share some

of your past opportunities that you regret not taking and give group membersopportunities to share some of their experiences.

So how do we get to be better communicators? To make powerful, impressive and lastingpresentations, start from within.

Talk to yourself. Clarify the message in your own mind before you trycommunicating it to someone else. Rehearse a little bit. Nothing clarifies your

thoughts more than writing them down.

Be very aware of the messages or inner tapes you are playing to yourself. Dontsabotage yourself by giving yourself negative messages about your ability to

communicate, or about how the other person will take your message. Most of us are way too hard on ourselves. So plan what you will say and then be

optimistic it will come out right and be received well.

Who is stopping you from being self-confident and self-reliant right now? Im notstopping you. Nobody is stopping you but yourself.

When you speak to individuals, take the time to express yourself in an organized

manner. Dont rush. Clarify. Ask for feedback. Do not assume that the messagesent was the message received.

Take part in all the activities well be doing today. When you take part, you arepreparing yourself to be a leader, rather than a follower in your workplace and

your community. You are being a role model for your colleagues, your children,

and those who look up to you in other ways. Know when to stop talking.

When presenting to a group, make sure you:

Have a message worth communicating

Gain the listeners attention

Emphasize understanding

Get feedback


9/29

Watch your emotional tone

Persuade them to adopt your point of view or take the action you want them totake

Today you will have several opportunities to practice the skills of speaking in public. Use

these exercises because they are good learning opportunities and practice makes perfect.

Barriers to Communication (9:15-9:30)

What are some of the barriers that keep us from communicating well with others? Ask

group members to work in small groups of three to four to come up with as many

responses as they can to this question. Ask one member of each group to be note takerand provide flip chart paper for them to write on. Allow 10 minutes for the exercise and

then ask for responses.

Debrief (9:30-9:45)Possible responses:

Not enough time

Everybody doesnt speak the same language

People use words others dont understand

People dont speak up, so others dont know what they are thinking

People come from different cultures

People are angry, sad, or happy, and this gets in the way of communication

People make assumptions they know what others mean, when they really dontknow


10/29

Session Three: Interpersonal Skills(9:45-10:15)

Listening (9:45-10:00)

Interpersonal communication skills are the vehicles by which all interactions between

you and other people are made clear. Much of the communication that occurs betweenpeople is one-way, without either party truly hearing the other or accurately

understanding what was said. In fact, if you think about it, modern culture often teaches

us to avoid two-way communication because it is too personal and imposing.

The cost of not listening is very high. Lives have been lost, and countless unnecessary

dollars spent, just because somebody didnt listen. Can anyone give examples of this?

(Flooding of the US Gulf Coast, although many people had warned both the people livingthere and the government that such a disaster could happen)

The good news is, though, that we can all learn to be better listeners. Researchers haveidentified two types of listening:

Passive Listening: We hear the sounds but we arent necessarily using ourmentalskills to hear and understand what is being said.

Active Listening: We make a conscious effort to hear and understand themessage.

Three Steps to Active Listening

Non-verbal cues, such as eye contact, leaning toward the speaker, an alertexpression on your face.

Short verbal cues, such as uh-huh, yes, I understand, etc. Feedback: Where the listener summarizes, clarifies, or asks questions.

Getting ready to listen means becoming prepared psychologically. It is like thinking,

OK, another person is taking a turn and I must get ready to listen. It is important in agroup that every member finds a useful way to listen.

Discuss: What are some possible ways of improving your listening? Possible responses

include:

Not talking

Taking notes

Giving your full attention to the other person Turning off TV or turning away from your computer.

Research has indicated some major reasons why people do not listen. (We have included

additional information for the facilitator in brackets.)


11/29

Decided in advance that the speaker or the subject will be uninteresting. (Thispredisposes you to tune out. Instead tell yourself you will make a real effort tolearn something new during the conversation.)

Been distracted when someone is speaking. (Choose an area without distractions.Refuse to be distracted.)

Didnt adjust to what the speaker was saying, as in you were talking about theweather but the topic has now shifted to what the speaker did on vacation.(Requires some mental agility. Could ask speaker to slow down and give you time

to shift gears.)

Took too many notes. (Rather than copy down every word, just note key points.)

Felt that what was being said was too difficult to understand so you tuned out.(Ask questions to clarify, or ask the speaker to illustrate the point.)

Got sidetracked by certain words or expressions the other person used. (They usedthe word refugee to refer to the people made homeless by Hurricane Katrina.

You prefer the word victim. This may be important to you, but try not to raisethis point until the speaker has had opportunity to complete his/her thoughts.)

Jumped in too soon to relate your own ideas or experience. (Patience. Listen. Givethe other person their turn. Then present your ideas or experiences, if

appropriate.)

Listened only for the facts and didnt pay attention to body language. (This is allabout increasing your awareness of those around you and how they are reacting

emotionally to what is being said. Learn more about body language to help you

here.)

Daydreaming. (Self discipline is required. Bring yourself back mentally by

internally saying stop. Remember to make eye contact.)

Discuss:

Have you ever been guilty of any of these? How could they be avoided?


12/29

Asking Questions (10:00-10:15)

Get in the habit of asking good questions, to clarify what has been said. We can do this

by paraphrasing (Are you saying?) or asking other questions such as, Do you

mean?

Other open questions that can gather more information include:

What do you think we can do about this?

What would you like me to stop doing?

Would it be helpful if I?

Supposing we were to?

Help me understand where youre coming from?

Lets set a time when we can talk about the changes were both prepared to make.

Im prepared to Would that ease the situation?

Write some of these questions on flip chart and ask for further examples from group

Break (10:15-10:30)


13/29

Session Four: Self-Disclosure (10:30-11:00)

What is Self-Disclosure? (10:30-10:45)

Self-disclosure refers to the ability to appropriately reveal deeper and deeper levels of

self to others. This skill is critical in the development of trust, and in developing yourself-concept and your relationships with others.

We earn trust as a trade off for self-disclosure. Being visible, but not risking too muchinformation too soon, promotes this type of trust. If no one knows you very well, you will

not likely feel much of a connection to others. Perhaps a sense of belonging is a deep

need we all have to a greater or lesser degree.

Self-disclosure, in order to be most effective, must be well-timed, not too deep, or too

shallow.

Exercise (10:45-11:00)

Option OneGive an example of appropriate self-disclosure. Then ask several members of the group

to share with others the person they most admire and why they admire them.

Option TwoHave participants break into small groups of 3-4 and share this information with one

another. You may ask one member of the group to be spokesperson for the group who

reports back to the other members who each member of their group selected.


14/29

Session Five: The Art of Conversation(11:00-11:50)

The Four Levels (11:00-11:10)

Getting comfortable conversing with others is one object of todays exercise. Being

comfortable speaking with others in small social settings can have a big impact on bothyour personal and your professional life. We are all more drawn to the person who looks

at ease and confident than we are the person who looks ill-at-ease and awkward.

At work, our first encounter with another person often begins with a handshake, and a

smile, while looking right at the other person. First, lets talk about eye contact. This isnot staring at another person, unblinkingly, but rather, looking at their face: eyes, nose,

and mouth triangle.

Quickie ExerciseTurn to your neighbor, smile, look them in the eye, and tell them you are glad they are

here. The maximum amount of time you want to look directly into someones eyes would

be about 10 seconds.

A handshake that is firm yet not too tight, with the web of your thumb and forefinger

meshing with the web of their thumb and forefinger.

Quickie ExerciseGo around the room and shake hands with every other person. Smile and tell them where

you are from. Then rate your handshake on a 1-10 scale with one being weak and ten

being very good.

As facilitator, you may want to monitor handshakes yourself, or take part in the exercise.

Level One: Small Talk (11:10-11:20)

What can you do to give yourself an advantage when striking up a conversation? Letsspend a little bit of time talking about the different levels on which we communicate.

Small talk means a very superficial conversation about the weather, the traffic, current

events, etc. While this may seem purposeless, it isnt. This is our chance to size up

another person and decide whether you have something in common. You dont know theother person and you arent expected to reveal anything personal about yourself.

Can we identify a list of ten things we might use to make small talk?

Weather

Season of the year

Price of gas

Condition of the roads


15/29

Questions about the club/group/gathering

Todays headlines

Quickie ExerciseGo to someone you have not yet had an opportunity to talk with yet today. Smile, extend

your hand in a handshake, introduce yourself, and make some small talk with that personuntil I call break. Move to another person and repeat the process.

Level Two: Fact Disclosure (11:20-11:30)

Should the small talk phase go well, we are ready to move on to the second level of

communication with our conversational partner, and reveal a few facts about ourselves to

the other: bits of information such as our occupation, our hobbies, or the types ofactivities we enjoy. Now that you are revealing a bit more about yourselves you may find

more you have in common. There is give and take in this conversation as you ask and

answer questions with your partner.

Quickie ExerciseGo back to the first partner you had for the initial small talk conversation and afteryouve shaken hands, move into that second level of conversation where you disclose

information about yourselves. When/if I call break, move to your second partner duringthat exercise.

Level Three: Viewpoints and Opinions (11:30-11:40)

Generally people dont move to this stage until they feel comfortable with one anotherand believe they have found common ground when you disclosed facts in the second

level.

In this level you go beyond that to give your opinion of whatever it is youve been talkingabout.

Examples:

Skiing is an expensive hobby

Your dream is to ski in Jasper

You are counting the days to retirement

You are hoping to move to another job soon

You may even venture into such quagmires as politics or religion if you are feeling

comfortable enough to do that. The general rule is low and slow, as in dont reveal too

much too soon. You may want to commiserate about the high cost of sending a child touniversity today, but wait until you know the person better before you reveal that you

took out a second mortgage to send your son/daughter to university.


16/29

Quickie ExerciseGo back to your first partner again and try conducting a conversation at that third level

where you express viewpoints& opinions. If you cant think of a topic on your own, useone of the subjects below:

Driving while using a cell phone Smoking regulations

Best vacation spot

Exercise as a way to boost energy

Level Four: Personal Feelings (11:40-11:50)

This usually doesnt come until you feel very comfortable with your conversational

partner. The surest way to get here is to not reveal too much too soon. An example of toomuch too soon might be telling someone all the details of a messy divorce just five

minutes into meeting them, or upon learning someone is of a different political party,

launching into a condemnation of that party.

A successful conversation starts at level one and proceeds at a comfortable pace through

the second and third levels and continues to the fourth level, although usually not during

your first meeting. With some people, you will find yourself moving easily through atleast the first three stages, if not to stage four. It usually takes a lot of conversations with

someone you feel very comfortable with before you progress to level four.

Morning Wrap-Up (11:50-12:00)

If this morning were a pizza, what kind would it be? Why? Go around the room getting aresponse from each individual.

Lunch (12:00-1:00)


17/29

Energizer: Whats Inside?

Stand in front of the group and hold your hands in the air, as if you were carrying a

cardboard box about two feet square. Say, I am holding an imaginary box. Can

everyone see it? Of those who nod, ask one, How big is it? No matter what theanswer is, say, Thats right! (You may want to adjust your hands to fit the size the

participant described.)

Continue, This is a magic box. In a moment, half of you will be surprised to realize

that you have one of these boxes under your chair. Lets see which of you do.

Mime tossing the box away and divide participants into pairs. The person in each pair

with the longest/most hair will be Person A. The other person will be Person B.

Person A will hold the box out to Person B and say, Hello partner. What funny thingsare in this box?

Person B must immediately reach in, pull out an imaginary object, and name it. There

are no wrong answers, but the answer must be funny. Maybe its a rubber chicken, a

singing oven, a plan to populate the moon with robotic oranges it doesnt matter.

Person B should keep pulling things out of the box until his or her brain fries. (This

will probably happen quickly.) Now Person B gets to take the box and say to Person

A, Your turn! Person A now pulls funny things out of the box, as quickly aspossible, until his/her brain fries.

Once Person A is finished, they will hold the box out to their partner. This time, they

will say, Hello partner. What boring, unfunny things are in this box? Once again,Person B will pull out and name objects until their brain fries, and then its Person As

turn.

Energizer Debrief

Once round two is finished, bring the group back together. Discuss:

What differences did you notice between the two rounds?

Which round was easier?

What do you think will happen if you try to be funny when speaking in public?

What lessons can we take away from this exercise?


18/29

C o n q u e r i n g Y o u r F e a r o f S p e a k i n g i n P u b l i c

S p e a k E a s y

Student Workbook

Velsoft Courseware Inc.

Soft Skills

Coursewa


19/29

SpeakEasyConquering Your Fear of Speaking in Public

Student Workbook


20/29

Copyright

All rights reserved world-wide under International and Pan-American copyrightagreements. No part of this document can be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of Velsoft.


21/29

Session One: Introduction and Course Overview

Learning Objectives

To enhance the ability to speak one-on-one with others.

To feel more confident speaking socially or small groups such as meetings.

To practice developing these skills in a safe and supportive setting.

Personal Learning Objectives


22/29

Session Two: Good Communication Skills

Defining Communication

How would you define communication?

Why develop good communication skills?

How do we get to be better communicators? To make powerful, impressive and lasting

presentations, start from within.

Talk to yourself. Clarify the message in your own mind before you trycommunicating it to someone else. Rehearse a little bit. Nothing clarifies your

thoughts more than writing them down.

Be very aware of the messages or inner tapes you are playing to yourself. Dontsabotage yourself by giving yourself negative messages about your ability tocommunicate, or about how the other person will take your message.

Most of us are way too hard on ourselves. So plan what you will say and then beoptimistic it will come out right and be received well.

Who is stopping you from being self-confident and self-reliant right now? Im notstopping you. Nobody is stopping you but yourself.


23/29

When you speak to individuals, take the time to express yourself in an organizedmanner. Dont rush. Clarify. Ask for feedback. Do not assume that the messagesent was the message received.

Take part in all the activities well be doing today. When you take part, you arepreparing yourself to be a leader, rather than a follower in your workplace and

your community. You are being a role model for your colleagues, your children,and those who look up to you in other ways.

Know when to stop talking.

When presenting to a group, make sure you:

Have a message worth communicating

Gain the listeners attention

Emphasize understanding

Get feedback

Watch your emotional tone

Persuade them to adopt your point of view or take the action you want them to

take

Barriers to Communication

What are some of the barriers that keep us from communicating well with others?


24/29

Session Three: Interpersonal Skills

Listening

Interpersonal communication skills are the vehicles by which all interactions between

you and other people are made clear. Much of the communication that occurs betweenpeople is one-way, without either party truly hearing the other or accurately

understanding what was said. In fact, if you think about it, modern culture often teaches

us to avoid two-way communication because it is too personal and imposing.

The cost of not listening is very high. Lives have been lost, and countless unnecessary

dollars spent, just because somebody didnt listen.

The good news is, though, that we can all learn to be better listeners. Researchers have

identified two types of listening:

Passive Listening: We hear the sounds but we arent necessarily using our mentalskills to hear and understand what is being said.

Active Listening: We make a conscious effort to hear and understand themessage.

Three Steps to Active Listening

Non-verbal cues, such as eye contact, leaning toward the speaker, an alertexpression on your face.

Short verbal cues, such as uh-huh, yes, I understand, etc.

Feedback: Where the listener summarizes, clarifies, or asks questions.

Getting ready to listen means becoming prepared psychologically. It is like thinking,OK, another person is taking a turn and I must get ready to listen. It is important in agroup that every member finds a useful way to listen.

What are some possible ways of improving your listening?


25/29

Research has come up with some major reasons why people do not listen.

Decided in advance that the speaker or the subject will be uninteresting.

Been distracted when someone is speaking.

Didnt adjust to what the speaker was saying, as in you were talking about the

weather but the topic has now shifted to what the speaker did on vacation. Took too many notes.

Felt that what was being said was too difficult to understand so you tuned out.

Got sidetracked by certain words or expressions the other person used.

Jumped in too soon to relate your own ideas or experience.

Listened only for the facts and didnt pay attention to body language.

Daydreaming.

Have you ever been guilty of any of these?

How could they be avoided?


26/29

Asking Questions

Get in the habit of asking good questions to clarify what has been said. We can do this by

paraphrasing (Are you saying?) or asking other questions such as, Do you

mean?

Other open questions that can gather more information include:

What do you think we can do about this?

What would you like me to stop doing?

Would it be helpful if I?

Supposing we were to?

Help me understand where youre coming from?

Lets set a time when we can talk about the changes were both prepared to make.

Im prepared to Would that ease the situation?

Other useful questions


27/29

Session Four: Self-Disclosure

Self-disclosure refers to the ability to appropriately reveal deeper and deeper levels of

self to others. This skill is critical in the development of trust, and in developing yourself-concept and your relationships with others.

We earn trust as a trade off for self-disclosure. Being visible, but not risking too muchinformation too soon, promotes this type of trust. If no one knows you very well, you will

not likely feel much of a connection to others. Perhaps a sense of belonging is a deep

need we all have to a greater or lesser degree.

Self-disclosure, in order to be most effective, must be well-timed, not too deep, or too

shallow.


28/29

Session Five: The Art of Conversation

The Four Levels

Getting comfortable conversing with others is one object of todays exercise. Being

comfortable speaking with others in small social settings can have a big impact on bothyour personal and your professional life. We are all more drawn to the person who looks

at ease and confident than we are the person who looks ill-at-ease and awkward.

At work, our first encounter with another person often begins with a handshake and a

smile, while looking right at the other person. Remember, eye contact is not staring at

another person unblinkingly, but rather looking at their face: eyes, nose, and mouthtriangle.

Level One: Small Talk

Small talk means a very superficial conversation about the weather, the traffic, currentevents, etc. While this may seem purposeless, it isnt. This is our chance to size up

another person and decide whether you have something in common. You dont know theother person and you arent expected to reveal anything personal about yourself.

What can you do to give yourself an advantage when striking up a conversation?

Can we identify a list of ten things we use to make small talk?


29/29

Level Two: Fact Disclosure

Should the small talk phase go well, we are ready to move on to the second level of

communication with our conversational partner and reveal a few facts about ourselves tothe other: bits of information such as our occupation, our hobbies, or the types of

activities we enjoy. Now that you are revealing a bit more about yourselves you may findmore you have in common. There is give and take in this conversation as you ask andanswer questions with your partner.

Level Three: Viewpoints and Opinions

Generally people dont move to this stage until they feel comfortable with one anotherand believe they have found common ground when you disclosed facts in the second

level.

In this level you go beyond that to give your opinion of whatever it is youve been talkingabout.

Examples:

Skiing is an expensive hobby

Your dream is to ski in Jasper

You are counting the days to retirement

You are hoping to move to another job soon

You may even venture into such quagmires as politics or religion if you are feeling

comfortable enough to do that. The general rule is low and slow, as in dont reveal too

much too soon. You may want to commiserate about the high cost of sending a child touniversity today, but wait until you know the person better before you reveal that you

took out a second mortgage to send your son/daughter to university.

Level Four: Personal Feelings

This usually doesnt come until you feel very comfortable with your conversationalpartner. The surest way to get here is to not reveal too much too soon. An example of too

much too soon might be telling someone all the details of a messy divorce just five

minutes into meeting them, or upon learning someone is of a different political party,launching into a condemnation of that party.

A successful conversation starts at level one and proceeds at a comfortable pace throughthe second and third levels and continues to the fourth level, although usually not duringyour first meeting. With some people, you will find yourself moving easily through at

least the first three stages, if not to stage four. It usually takes a lot of conversations with

someone you feel very comfortable with before you progress to level four.

28 SpeakEasy Sample

Documents

Transcript of 28 SpeakEasy Sample