222629 Rynosuke Akutagawa Cogwheels
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Akutagawa
At firsthegraspst tremulously;he nsuddenly, it hafirmgrip.
Shot60 . Sebastian'sand,riumphantlyoldinghe Crossaloft.
Shot61 . Th e ea-captain'sack. eglancesve r isshoul-der.Theres a lookof disappointment,f discomfitureon his ace.Hestrokes isgoatee.
Shot 62 . Early awn.Th esea-captainomes ow n hemountainrack.Twomonkeyspringout frombehinrhim.When ereacheshe Camphorree ehalts ormoment nd raises is hat,as though reeting runseen erson.
Shot63. Sebastianyingon the floorof the cave,holdinfirmly o theCross.Outsidehe cave herearealreadpatchesi sunlight.
Shot64. Close-upf Sebastian'sace, een romabove.he lieson the floorof the cave.Tears egin o trickl,
slowly ow n ischeeks-inhe eeble arly unlight.Shot65 .Th emountainar h n ul lsunlight.heblackabltsuddenlyppears;n its leftside ie he ac ean d hefacecards f Spades.
Shot66 .A living-roomlooded ithsunlight.hemasterthehouse as ishandn hehalf-openedoor nd eemsto haveustbeen eeingomeoneff .On a table n thecorner wine-bottle, ine-glasses,iaying ards.Hecomeso the able, it s own nd ights cigarete. henhe eans ack omfortablyndstretchesimself. e hasa goatee ndhis ace s hatof the Dutch ea_captain.
1927
TranslatedqAfthurWaleg
Cogwheels
1. Raincoat
Froma summeresorl ome istance way,akingmy bagalong, picked p a car o a station n th eTokaido ine,going o attend weddingeceptionor an acquaintancefmine.On either ideof the road he car raveledhereweremainly nlypine rees. was ather oubtful bout
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makinghe Tokyo-boundrain n time. n the carwithmewa sa barber. ewa sasplump sa peach ndwitha short
beard.Withmy mind n he ime spoke ithhim ntermit-tently.
"Strange.I hearSo-and-so'souses haunted ve nby
day . ""Even
by day."Looking ut at the far hillsof pinebathedn the after-
noon unof winter, satisfiedimwithoccasionalesponses."Not
in goodweather,hough. hear t appears ostlyon rainy ays."
"l'msurprisedt botherso appearjusto get wet on
rainy ays.""N ojoke, assureou l . . And hey ay heghost oe sits hauntingn a raincoat."
Witha honk f tshorn heca rpulled p o th estation.I took eave f he barber ndwent n.Just s 'd magined,th e rainhad eftonlvminutes efore. n a benchn the
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waiting oomoneman n a raincoat tared acantly ut . Irememberedhe al e ha d us theard. ut le t t go withafaintsmile nd decidedo go intoa caf6 n frontof th estationo wait or he next rain.
It wasa caf6hatscarcely eritedhe name. sa tat atable n a corner ndordered cu pof cocoa. heoilcloth
coveringhe tablewasa large rossworkf thin blue ineson a whiteground.Bu t at eachedge t already howedfilthy anvas.sippedhe cocoa, hich melledikeanimalglue,and ooked roundhe empty af6.On the dirtywallwerepastedmany trips f paperwith he menu: ,a
bowlofricewithegg-and-chickenopping,"beef
cutlet, ', tc ."Fresheggs.Cutlet."
Thestrips f papermademe realize wa sout in th ecountry roundhe Tokaido ine.Here lectricocomotivesran hrough abbagendwheat ields . .
It wasclose o sunset y the time boardedhe nexttrain. usually en tsecondlass, ut decidedt would esimplero ride hird lass.
The rainwas ather rowded.n frontof meandbehindme wereprimary chool irlscoming ac k ro mOisoorsomewherels eon an excursion. hile l it a cigarettelookedhe groupof students ver.Theywereall in goodspirits ndweregenerallyhatteringway."Hey,
Mr . Cameraman,hat's love ceneike?,,"Mr.Cameraman,"n frontof me,wh oseemedo be
with he excursion, anagedo evadehe ssue. ut on e
girl of about ourteen r fifteen ep t ir ingquestionsthim.An dnoticingheha dan nfectedos e couldn,t el psmiling. he n herewa sa girlof twelve r thirteen itt ingon the apof a youngwoman eacher, olding er neckwithonehandand caressinger cheekwith he other.Chatting it hsomeonehe urned o the eachero sav.
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"You'repretty, eacher. ouhaveprettyeyes, ou know."They truckme moreas grown-up omenhanas chil-
dren. part,hat s, rom heir ibblingt he inds fapplesan dunwrappingaramel ftercaramel. . . Buton ewh olookedik ea seniormusthave nadvertentlytepped nsomeone'soot npassing,ea rme , nd aid,
l 'mextremely
sorry." he lone,moreprecocioushan heothers, eemedmore ikea youngster. it h the cigaretten my mouth,couldn't elp idiculing yselfor inding nycontradictionin h is.
The rain,withall ts ights n, inally rrived t a stationin a certain uburbwithoutmy being ware f it. I got of fand stoodon the platform itha coldwindblowing,hencrossedn overpassnddecidedo wait or he ocal. henI sawMr. T., a company an .We discussedhe depres-sion, tc.,while ewaited. r.T. wa snaturally or e amil-
ia r with hissort ofproblem
ha n was.But he woreaturquoiseing ha tha dnothingo do withan ydepression."You
havea treasurehere. see.""This?
I had o buy t froma friendwho'dbeen n Harbinon business.e' shaving hardgo of t now.He splitwiththe cooperative.
Fortunatelyur trainwas not verycrowded.We sa tbeside ach therand alked bout arioushings.Mr .T.ha d us t comeback ro mhi scompany's aris ffice hi sspring.So herewasa tendencyo speak f Paris. toriesaboutMme.Caillaux,ra bdishes, certain rinceouring
abroad . ."l tisn'tas bad n Franceswe hink. heFrenchreby
nature ot given o payingheir axes nd t often eadsoCabinetismissals. . "
"Butthe ranc'sna slump."
"S oth epapersay .Bu tonce ou'ren France,ou in d
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Japan egarded s a country f floods nd earthquakes,other ourcesf trouble."
At just hi smoment ma n n a raincoatoo ka seatopposite s. begano feelsomewhateird ndwasaboutto tell Mr . T. of th e ghost tory ha dheard arrier. utturninghe handref hi scaneo th e eft, eeping isheadstraight, ewhispered.
"You
see he womanhere?n thegrayshawl . .Theonewith he Western airdo?;"Yes,th eon ewith he bundlen clothwrapping nder
herarm.Shewas n Karuizawahissummer. uite doiled-up n fancyWestern tyle.,'
Sh e ertainlyooked habby ow o anyone. glancedat he rwhilealking it hMr .T. There as omethingnsanein her rowningace.Andshehada spongehat ookedikea leopard eekingut he rbundle."A t
Karuizawahewashaving great imedancing itha young merican. hat oumight al lmodern . .i
By he imeT. an d parred,hema n n he aincoatadvanished ithoutmy being ware f it. From he trainsta-tion,bagstillwithme, warked ver o a hoter. hereweremostly ug ebuildingsn bothsides f th e street.whilewalking suddenlyhought f pinewoods. nd then ootherewassomethingtrangen my ineof vision. trange?There erencessatly evolvinhalf-trasparentogwheel.I'd hadsuch xperiencesefore. hewheelsncreaied ntiltheyblockedll other ision, ut t wa sonly or a momentor so, and hen heygavewayand a headacheom_
menced-itwasalwayshe same.Theeyedoctor,notingth e blinding ision, ad often ol d me ro go easyon th esmoking. ut hewheels adbegun ppearingo me beforeI was wenty, efore 'd taken o smoking.ensing t wasbeginninggain testedmy ef teyeby coveringmy right.
Cogwheels
The ef teye,as anticipated,asal l right.Bu t behindheright yewhen losedountlessheelsontinuedevolvins.As th e buildingso th e rightgraduaily isappearedroirsight, walked ithdifficulty.
By he time reachedhe hotelentrancehe cogshaogone.Bu t no t the headache.checked y overcoit ndhatand reserved room.Then rangup a certainmaga_zine ublishernddiscussedoneymatters.
Theweddingeceptioninner eemedo havestartedalready.satat th een dof a table nddu g nwithknife ndfork.Thebride ndbridegroomndsome iftyor more th-er sat th e U-shaped ai n able ll seemedheerful. utbegan eelingmoreandmoredepressednder he brightlights. ryingo cu t he eelingchatted ith heguest 6xtto me .Hewa san ol dma nwithwhitewhiskersik e rion's.In addition, e wa sa weil-knownchorar f th e chineseclassics,hose am ewa s amiliaro me .Soou rconversa-
tionunconsciouslyriftedo theclassics."fhe kglin s, in short,a sortof unicorn. nd ho thephoenix. ."
chatteringn mechanicailygraduailyert he desireobe destructivend not onlypretendedhatyao andShunwere ictitiousigures, ut claimedhat the authorof theChroniclesf Lu wasof the Han Dynasty. t thispoint hescholar f Chineselassicsould ot contain is unhappi-nessand, urningaway rom me altogether,ut of f mvstorytellingitha grumble aguelyike hatof a tiger."l f
Ya oan dShun idn't ive, t wouldmeanCLnfuciuswa sa liar.Saintsannot e iars."
With hat the small-talknded.Oncemore wasbackto dabbling ith knifean d or kat th e meatbeforeme .There discoveredtinycreature riggling t oneedgeofthemeat. t broughto mind heEnglish ordworm.Surely,
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like he kglinandho , his oo was ndicativef a legendarybeast. set downknifeand orkand gazednstead t thechampagneouredntomy goblet.
Afterdinnerwas inally ver,quite eadyo lockmyselfup in the room eservedor me, walked long he emptycorridors. heymademe feelmore ike was n a prisonthan n a hotel.
But ortunately,t thesame ime,withoutmy being ware f it the headachead argely ubsided.ln additiono the bag,my hat and overcoat ad been
depositedn the room.My overcoat anging n the walllookedoo much ikemyupright elf, nd at once ossedtinto hewardroben thecorner. hen, ve rat thedressingtable looked t my face n the mirrordeterminedly.trevealedhe bonebeneathhe skin. Thewormhadreap-peared gain.
I openedhe doorandwentbackout nto he corridoran dwalked ncertainf whereo turn.Then,n on ecorner
on heway o the obby tall ampwitha green hade as ta sharp eflection vera glazed oor.Somehowr otherthiscalmedmy mind. satmyself ownon a chairbeforetandstarted roodingbout arioushings.But iveminuteswas us t about t. Then noticed n the backof the sofabesideme,again angingoosely, raincoat.
"Andthis s he coldesteasonow oo."
My mindwanderingn such vein wentback own hecorridor.n the waiters'oom herewasno waitern sight.Butsome f theirconversationell ntomy ears n passing.
It was n English:
Al l
right," n answero something.
Al l
right?" tried o figure utwhat t wasal labout. Al lright?""All
right?"Whaton earthwasall right?Of course,my roomwa squiet.Bu t us t to open he
doorandgo in , oddlyenough, eemed eird o me.Aftersomehesitancyfinally enturedn. Then, areful ot to
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look nt o he mirror, saton a chair t th edesk. hechairwa san armchair f l izardlikeluemorocco. openedmybag,pulled uta writing ad , nd ried o resume certainshortstory.Bu t th e pe nand nk hungeternal ire.An dwhen inallyhe ymoved, r I thoughthe ymoved, nl y hesamewords ppeared,ll right . . AII ight . . All right,
s i r . . . . A l li g h t . . .Suddenlyhe elephoney he bedwas inging. tartled
I roseand ifting he receivero my earanswered."Who
is t? "" l t ' s
me.Me . . "On the otherendwasmy older ister's aughter."What?
What's he matter?""Yes.
Well,somethingerrible ashappened.obecauseomethingerrible'sappened,us tcalled untietoo.
"Somethingterrible?"
"Yes.So ,please om e uick.Ouick."And the telephonen the otherend clicked ff . I put
the receiverackand mechanicallyushedhe callbutton.Bu t I wasperfectly ware f my hand rembling. heboywa sslow n coming. eeling or epain ha n mpatience,pushedhe buttonagainand again, ensing t last hemeaningf hewords
al lright,"whichat eha dbeenrying
to get hrougho me.My older ister's usbandadbeen unover ndkilled
thatafternoonn the country ot too far fromTokyo. ur -
thermore,nrelatedo theweatherompletely,ehadbeenwearing raincoat.'m stillwriting he same hortstory nthishotel oom.There's o on eout here oingby n th ecorridor. ut frombeyondhe door cansometimesearth e lapping f wings. omeone aybe keeping bird.
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2. Vengeance
I wokeabouthalfpasteight n thishotel oom.Bu t ongetting ut of bed, discovered,ddly nough,ha ton eofmy slippers asgone. t wa s us t th e sortof thing ha twould ouseme o fear, nxiery, tc., hispast earoi tro.An d t reminded e alsoof
someprince
n Creekmythwearing nl yon esandal. ushingth e bell, rang or hebo yan dha dhi m oo k or he rost ripper. esearchedheroomwitha quizzicalxpressionn his ace."l've
foundt, here.Here n th ebathroom.""How'dit ge t here?"
"Maybea mouse."
After he boy ef t I hada cupof coffee,withoutmilk,andsetabout inishing ystory.A square indowrame ftufa ooked ut upon garden f snow.Wheneverstoppedwriting would bsent-mindedlyaz e t th e snow.Under
the fragrant ushof budding aphnehe snowwasdirtiedby the smoke nd sootof the city.Thesightof it painedm.e. smoked cigarette nd hought f a hostof thingswithout utting en o paper. f mywife,my children,ndmost f all,my older ister'susband. .
He wa sunder uspicion,efore ommittinguicide, farson. ctuallytwasnevitable.efore ishouse as urneddownt hadbeennsuredor wice tsvalue.Even o,whileguilfyof perjury, e hadbeenon probation.t wasnot hissuicide, owever,ha t mademe uneasy, ut that couldnevereturno Tokyo
without eeing fire.once herewasth e ir e sa w n th e hil ls ro m he rain, ndanotherim efrom car lwaswithmywife nd hildren)ear okiwabashi.Naturallyhada premonitionf a firebefore ishouse as,in fact,burned own.
"Afirema ybreak ut n ou rhousehi svear."
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"Don'ttalk ike ha t . . . if therewereevera fire, t
would ring loadof problems ith t. Theresn'tenough
i n s u r a n c e a n d . . . "Sowespoke. ut here asn't een ny ireand-trying
to shakehe idea-l picked p my penagain.Not evena
singleinewould ome. inallybandoningy postat the
desk, laydownon the bedand began eading olstoy'sPotihoushka.heheroof thisnovels a complex ersonality
of vanity,morbidiry,ndambition ll mixed p. Andwitha
fewminor hanges,he ragicomedyf his ifecould ass s
a caricaturef my own.Particularlyid I feel he derisive-
nessof fate n the tragicomedyf it, and ha t gradually
mademe feelweird.Afterno more ha nan hourof it I
jumped ut of bedand hrew he bookat thewindow rap-
ery n thecorner f the room."Damnyou!"
And a bi g mouse ppearedcuttling iagonallyro m
underhecurtainowardhe bathroom.na bound wasatthe bathroom nd openedhe door, ookingor it. Behind
th e white ub no t a signof it. I feltweird uddenly,nd
changingntoslippersuickly, wentout nto he corridor,
but not a livinghingwas n sight.
Thecorridor, susual, asas gloomy sa prison.With
my head own, oing pan ddown tairs, uite nawares,
foundmyself uddenlyn hekitchen.he oomwasbrighter
than mighthavebeenexpected. nd overon oneside
flamesose bundantlyrom he range.n passinghrough
could ee l he coldeyesof the cooksn theirwhitehatsstaring t me .At once felt myself as t nt ohell. Cod'
punishme.Please, on't be offended.'m going o be
ruined." aturallyt thatmoment uch prayer asbound
to comerommy iPs.
I left hehotelandwalked ithdifficultyhe slushy ay
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to my older ister's. he rees n th e parkalong he wa yha dal lha d heir eavesndbranchesrackened.nd eachof themhad,us t ik e s,a frontan dback ide. t wa s es sdispleasingo me than t wa s ntimidating.rememberedthe soul hathad urnedntoa tree n Dante'snfernoanddecidedo warkon th e streetacrossor m he streetcartracks,
here uirdingsormed sturdyow.Bu teven hereon eblockwa s oo much."Excuse
me or stoppingou."It wasa fellow f about wenty_twor twenty_threen a
uniformwithgordbuttons. stared t himwordressryndnoteda moleon the ef tsideof hisnose.He,withcapoff,addressed e nervously.
"Aren'tyo uMr . A? ""Yes,
"lthought ouwere . .' ,"What
do youwant?"
"Nothing.I justwantedo sa yheilo. 'm an admirer fyo u rs , se n se i. . "
With hat I fippedmy hat to himand began o makespace etween sas rapidry spossibre.enseJ'.-sensei-the itlehad ecentryeguno be mostdistastefuro me.hadcome o feel hadcommittedverymaginablerime.Regardless,was o be calledsenseiow;wheneveros*sible.couldn't er peeringomethinghamefurn t. some-thing?Bu tmy materialismhouldn,i al kat mysticism.fewmonths arrier hadwrittenn a rittremagaiine,,rnot
onlyhave o artistic onscience,ut no consciencet ail.Al l I have renerves . .',My oldersisterhad ound efugen a barracks p an
alleywithhe rchirdren.nsidehe barracks ith ts brownwallpaper,t rooked reakerha n t di d outside. armingourhands ver charcoarrazier espoke fvarioushinssl
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My sister's usband, ma nof stocky uild,had hadno
us e orme, nstinctively,rom hestart. ndhe ha dopenly
referredo the mmoraliryf my work. 'd never adan y
friendly onversationit hhim,due o his ooking skance
at someone it hsuch deas. alking ithmy sister, real-
ized hathe too ha dgraduallyee n hot o hell. heard
he actuallyawa ghost n a sleepingompartment.ut ,l ight ing p a cigarette, carefu l lyept he talk o the
subject f money."Anyhow,
th ewa y t is, 'm us t iguringo sell smuch
as can.""l've
been iguringhe same oo.The ypewriterhould
bring n some ash.""And
we have ome aintings.""How
about elling -san'smysister's usband]or -
trait?But hat's . . "
I looked p at the unframed ont6 rayonorlrait
onth ewall nd elt shouldn'tok e o houghtlessly.'d heard
that his acehadbeen rushed y the train o a tatterof
flesh, nl yhi smustachead been eft.Th estoryhad, n
fact,shakenme. Hisportraitwasdrawnperfectlyn every
detail, ut hi smustacheooked omehownclear.thought
it mightbe becausef the ighting ndstudiedhe picture
fromdifferent ngles."What'reyo udoing?""Nothing
. . . justaroundhe mouth f thatpicture . . "
She urned o look oo, fo r a moment, ut saidsh e
couldn't eeanythingmiss."Onlythemustache,ddly nough,ookshin, oesn'tt?"
What was eeing asno llusion. ut f it wasn't . . I
decidedt wiser o leavemy sister's efore hebegan uss-
ingaboutunch."Why
don'tyo ustay bit onger?"
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"Tomorrowmaybe. . todayhave o go to Aoyama."
"Oh,there? omethingtil lwrongwithyourbody?"
"l'mtaking leepingrugs s usual. 'v ego t so many.
Veronal, uronal, rional, umal . ."About hirtyminutesater, enteredhe building,ot
on an elevator,ndwentup o the hird loor.There, tried
pushing pe n he glass oo r o a restaurant.t wouldn'tbudge. n t hung sign nscribed:TOREOLIDAy.wa smore hana littlepeeved, ut aftera glance t the applesan dbananasisplayedn a table n the other id e f thedoor,decidedo go backon the streetagain.Twomen,wh o seemedo be office-hands,rushed y me at theentrance,os t n conversation.t just ha tmoment neofthem,o r so i t seemedo me, sa id :
l t ' stan ta l i z ing . "
I stoodon the street,waitingor a taxi o comeby. ttooksomeime.Usually,hough,here everailedo bea
yellow abaround.Theseellow ab orsome eason lwaysinvolvedme n accidents.)ftera while,however, luckygreen abwas ound,and I decided nywayo go to themental ospital ear he Aoyama emetery.
"Tantalizing-tantalizing-Tantalus-inferno. ."
Tantalus yself,n act-gazing t fruit hroughheglassdoor.Cursinghe Dante'snfernon my mind's ye, staredat the driver's ack.An d he feeling am eoverme thateverythingsa lie.Politics,usiness,rt ,science-all,n theface f what am now,wasnothing utso much amouflageof thishorrible xistence.wasbeginningo feelstifled ndopened window. ut he eeling ouldn't o away.
The greencab reached ingu-mae ventually.herewasan alleywayeadingo the mental ospital. hisday,though, f al l days, somehowouldn ' tocatet. Af tergettinghe cab o scout roundor t and henbackalongthe streetcarracks, gave t up anddecidedo getout.
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I found he way inally nd oundmyselfwisting ight
an d ef ton a road ul lof mu dpuddles.hen, nwittingly,
musthaveaken wrongurn, or here wasat heAoyama
Funeral arlor.t wasa building hose ate hadn'tpassed
sinceNatsume-sensei'suneral, bout enyears efore. en
years go wasn't eryhappy.Bu tat least waspeaceful'
i noticeOhegravelworkeyondhegateandwas emindedof the plantainreeat the Soseki etreat. couldn'thelp
f e e l i n g t h a t m y l i f e h a d e n d e d . A n d l a l s o c o u l d n ' t h efeelingha t somethingad drawnme back o this place
after en years'absence.
After eavinghe gateof the mental ospital, tooka
taxiagain nddecidedo go back o the hotel 'd beenat
before.But,on leavinghe taxi at th e hotelentrance,
founda man n a raincoat rguingor some eason itha
waiter.Witha waiter? o. No t a waiter, ut a ma n n a
greenuniformn charge f the taxis.The deaof enteringthehotel eemedminouso meand quicklyurned way.
When reachedhe Cinza,t wasalmost undown'he
shopsammed n bothsides f thestreet,he bewildering
throngs f people, ll combinedo depress e more' t
disturbedme most ha t everyone n th e streetwalked
nonchalantly,ndifferently,s f theywereunawaref sin.
keptwalking orthamid he confusionf twilight ndelec-
tric lights.Thenmy eyewascaughtby a bookstore ith
magazinesnd books ll piledup . I went n andabsent-
mindedly rowsed omeshelves.herewasa book itled
CreekMgth ldec ided to looka t 'GreekMgth ,w i thaye l locover. eemed ritten or children. ut one ine readby
accidentuddenlYhookme ."Evenmight iest euscannot anquishhe Godof
Vengeance ."
it.ft tn . shop ndwent nt o he crowd.could eel he
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Codof Vengeanceoveringt my back ndbeganwander_in gaimlessly.
3. Night
On oneof the she lves ps ta i rs t Maruzen iTfound
Strindberg'segendsnd reada fewpageswhilestandingthere. t describesxperiencesot unlikemy own.An d thada yellow over. put t back ndpuiled ut a thickbookmyhand appenedo fallon . n t what houldhere ebu tan llustrationfcogswitheyes ndnoses otunlike umanbeings!t wasa collectionf picturesy nmates f a lunaticasylumssembledysome erman. vennmydepression,my spirit ould e er t isingn rebellionndwith he des-peration f an addicted ambler keptopening ookafterbook.Oddly nough, lmost very oo k adclearly iddenstingsn tssentencesnd llustrations.very ookiEvennMadame ovarg, hich had eadmany imesbefore, feltI wasonly he pettybourgeois onsieur ovaryn theend.
Upstairst Maruzen,lmost ightfall,hereseemed oothercustomeresidemyserf.browsedroundhe book-shelvesn heelectricight. stopped t a shelfwith he itleReligionn t and removed bookwitha green over.onechaptern the abre f contentsead:
FoJrDeadry oes-
Suspicion,ear,Vaniry nd Sensuality."ith hesLwords,at once,my spiritagain ose ebellious.hose oeswereonlyothernames or Sensitivitynd Inteiligence.t wa s
unbearableo feel he raditionalsdepressings he mod-ern.Thebook n my handbroughto mind he pe nnameI' d onceused, uryo oshi.lt wa s he name f th eyoung
17 Maruzen. bookstoren Tokyo, as he primary onduitor westernbooksnto he country.
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man n Chuang-tseho had orgottenhe boy romJuryo
whohad attemptedo ape he strideof one rom Kantan
an d ould nl y ndup crawlingome. must eJuryo oshi
now o everybody.nd , when hadn't et been onsigned
to hetl,had used he name-I, witha shelfloadf books
behindme , ried o banishhe conceit nd went nto a
poster howroomustoff to oneside.There,n oneof theposters, knightwhoseemedo be St. George asstab-
binga winged ragon o death.On top of this, he half-
revealedrowningace f heknight nderhehelmetesem-
bledon eof my enemies.also ecalledoryu's rt n the
Kanbishiand,ithout assinghroughhe showroom,ent
down he broad taircase.
WalkinglongNihonbashiow, n hedark, kept hink-
ing of theword orgu.ltwa s he name f my nkstickoo ,
I'm sure.Themanwhohadgiven t t o me wasa certain
entrepreneur.e ailedn a variety f businessesnd inally
went o wrack nd ruin. foundmyselfooking p into he
sk yan d hinking owsmall he earth s amongst ll th e
stars-andso howmuch maller was.But he sky,which
ha d beenclearall day,had become loudywithoutmy
realizingt. At once felt that thingshad akena hostile
turn owardme anddecidedo takeasylumn a caf6."Asylum"
waspreciselyha t t was. somehowel tsome-
thingsoothingn the rosy int of thewallandrelaxed t a
table.Fortunatelyherewereonlya few othercustomers
there. sipped cup of cocoa nd started o dragon a
cigarette,s usual. hesmoke ose n a faintbluestreamup he os ywall. heharmoniousinglingf hesoft olors
wasagreeableo me. Butaftera time discoveredpor-
traitof Napoleonn thewall o my left andbegan o feel
uneasygain.WhenNapoleonasonlya student, e had
written n the as tpage f hisgeographyotebook:Saint
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Helena,smallsland."t might av e een, swesay, nl ya coincidence.ut t must av emade ve nNapoleonhivereventually. .
Gazingt Napoleon,thought boutmyow nwork.An dthereburstuponmecertain hrasesnA Fool'sde. Espe_ciallyhewords, Life
is morehelrishha nhell tself.") nd
also he hero's ate n my HeltScreen-a painter alledYoshihide.he n . smoking looked round he cafetrying o escape uchmemories.had akenshelter ereno more ha n iveminutes arlier. lreadyhe place adundergonecompletehange. ha tmadememost ncom_fortable as he ac t hat he chairs nd ables f imitationmahoganyid notgo with he osywalls. fraid shouldal lintoan agonymperceptibleo others, tried o getout ofthecaf6by quicklyossing owna silver oin."Sir,
it 's wenty en . ."I had ossed owna copper.Walkinglone longhestreet,eelingumiliated,sud_
denly ecalled yhousen he emote inewood.t wasn'tmy foster arents' lace ff in the suburbs, ut a houserentedor my family,n which was he master. used olive nsuch house lso bout enyears efore. ut oronereason r another'd thoughtlesslyakenup againwithmyfolks.At th e same ime I started o become slave.tyrant, n mpotent goist. . .
When reachedhe hotel gain,t wa salmosten . ,dbeenwalkingor so onga spacehat hadn,the strength
to go to my roomandsat nstead n a chair n frontof thefireplacehere huge ogwasburning. begano thinkofthe ongpiece'd been lanning.t wasa longpiecenwhich ommon eoplerom heSuikoo theMeijiErawouldbeused sheroes,na sequencefmore han hirty hrono-logicalhort tories. ome parkseapt p,and remembered
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thebronze tatuen frontof the mperial alace.hestatuewas narmor ndhelmet, ighastride steed-as f it wereFealtytself.But tsenemywas-
"Al ie l "
Again sped romdistantpast o immediate resent.Th ema nwho uckilyam e ver he nwa san older culptor.
Hewaswearing velvet oatandpulling n a short oatee.I rose ndshookhe handhe ofiered.This asnota habitof mine. simplyollowedis, orheha d pent al f f his ifein Paris ndBerlin.) ddly nough, owever,ishandwa sasslimy s eptil iankin.
"Areyoustaying ere?"
"Yes. . ."
"Todo yourwork?"
"Yes,I' mdoingmy work oo."
He ookedmestraightn the ace. felt he scrutiny f a
detectiven hiseyes."Hey,howabout omingo my room or some alk?"I spoke ggressively.lt wasone of my bad habitso
assume uickly n attitude f challenge,hough ha dnocourage.Je smiled nd askedn return,
Where'syour
room?"Shouldero shoulder alkinghrough oftly peakingor -
eigners, s if we weregood riends, e returnedo myroom. n my roomhe sa twith he mirror ehind im .An dhestartedalking boutmanyhings.Manyhings?-mostly,in fact,stories boutwomen. wa sundoubtedlyne of
those ondemnedo hellbecausef he sins ha dcommit-ted. So he ales f vicemademe all he gloomier. oramomentfeltpuritanicalndbegano despiseuc hwomen.
"Takea lookat S-ko-san'sips.Becausef herkissing
so manymen, he . ."I shutmy mouth uddenlynd ooked t hisback n he
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glass. eha da yellow laster asted n us tbelow isear."Becauseof herkissingo manymen?"
"Sheseemso be ha tWpe."
He smiled nd nodded. felt himalwaysntentupontryingo prymysecret pen.Bu tour alkwasnotof fwomenyet. I felt moreembarrassedor my lackof couragehanthat hated im ,an dcould nl ybecome or edepressed.
Afterhe had inally one, laydownandbegano readA Dark Night'sPassing.rsvery piritual trugglehat tsheroundergoesasmovingo me. felt howstupid was,compared ithhim,and oundmyself eeping ithout eal-izingt. At thesameime he ears roughtme peace. utnot or ong.Againmy righteyebegano sensehose alf-transparentogs.Thecogs, urning ncessantlys always,graduallyncreasedn number. earfulf a headacheleftth ebook esidehe pillow,oo k0. 8 grams f Veronal,nddecidedo try to ge ta goodnight's es tanyhow.
But n my dream wasgazingntoa pool.Manyboysandgirlswere wimminghere r diving nder ater.walkedinto he pinewood eavinghe poolbehind. he n omeonespokeo me frombehind,
Father."lturned round or a
moment nd oundmy wifestandingy thepool.And eltan intenseegret.
"Father,do youwanta towel?"
"ldon'tneed t. Keep n ey eon he children."
I walked n. Bu t where wa swalking ad becomeplatform efore knew t. It lookedikea country tationwitha longhedge roundhe platform. studentrom he
university,alled .,an dan ol dwoman er e tandinghere
18A DarkNight'sPassingAn'ga oro,1912-37t s novelist higaNaoya'smost amous ork, nd nvolveshe spiritualrisis manundergoesfterdiscov-eringhathewas orn rom n llicit ffair etweenismother ndhisgrandfather.
t 5 6 | 3:'
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too.Theynoticedme and cameoverand addressed e
on eat a time."A
bi g ire,wasn'tt? ""l justmanagedo escapeoo."
It seemedo me hadseen he oldwoman efore. nd
I fel t exhilarationn talking o her.Thena trainquietly
pulledn puffing moke.go ton he rain lone ndwalked
on n betweenedswithwhite lothhanging ownon bothsides. noticed nakedwoman ery ikea cadaveryingon
one ed acing e. t must ave eenha tof somemadman's
daughter-theCodof my vengeance. .
No sooner id wakeha n umped ut of bed, nspite
of myself. heelectricityept he roomas bright s before.
But somewherehereweresounds f wings lapping,micegnawing.openedhedoor,wentout nto hecorridor, ndquicklymademy way o the fireplace. sat myself own
and started azing t the feeble low.A boy n a white
uniform amen to replenishhe ire."What'sth e ime?"
"About3:30,s i r . "
Wayoff n a corner f the obbya woman, ho ooked
American, asbusy eading book lone. venromwhere
I was t wa sclear hat sh ewa swearing greendress.
Somehowr other felt elieved nddecidedo waitquietly
fo r daybreak.ikean old mancalmly waiting eathafter
th e ong ufferingf an llness . .
4. Srill?
Finally finishedhe shortstory n the hotel oomand de-
cided o send t to a certainmagazine.ctuallyhe money
to be earnedrom t was ess han hat neededo coverhe
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billat the hotel or a week.But wascontento have onethe workand decidedo visita certain ookshopn theGinzaorsome piritualonic.
On heasphalt avementn the winter unweremanyscraps f wastepaper.heyall looked xactlyike oses.felt somehown goodspirits nd enteredhe bookshop.t
was atherneaterhan usual.A younggirl n glasses asdiscussingomethingit ha clerk, nd he al kdidn'talto-gethergrateon my nerves.However,ememberinghewastepaperoses n the street, decidedo buyTheCol-lectedDialogues f AnatoleFrance and The Collected et-tersof ProsperMdrimde.
With he wo books ndermy arm, went ntoa caf6.I decidedo wait for a cup of coffee o be brought o atable t the aren dof the room.On the other idesa tacouple ho seemedikemother nd son.Thesonwas
youngerha nmyself, ut an exact opyof me.And heywere onversings f theywere overs,ntimately. atch-ing them began o s ense hat the sonwasaware fprovidingome ortof sexual atisfactiono hismother swell. t wa sa kind of relation knew rom experience.Also. t was he sortof instancef willfulnessha t makes
the worlda hell.But was earful f falling rey o anxi-etiesagainand began o read The Collected ettersofProsperMdrimde, akingadvantage f the coffeeserved.The ettersevealedn heirwit hesame phoristici teasin the novels. uch entencesav ean i ron edge o my
feelings.On e f my weak oints as n being asilynflu-enced y such wists.) wassoondonewith the coffeeand, eelingelaxed nd carefree,eft he caf6.
Along he street browsedhe shopwindows ne byone.A frame hopdisplayed portrait f Beethoven.he
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portrait as he mage f genius, ai ron end. couldn'thelp eelingt ridiculous.. .
Just he n caught ightof an old riend f mine romhigh-schoolays. universityrofessorf applied hemis-try now, e held bi gbulging agan don eof hiseyes asclotted ed.
"What'sthe matterwithyoureye?""This?Just onjunctivit is.
Then rememberedhat I hadoften-fourteen r fif-teenyears arlier-sufferedhe same iseaseut of a feel-in g of affinity. ut I saidnothing.He pattedme on th eshoulderndstartedalking bout ur riends.he alk edhim o takeme o a caf6.
"lt 'sa long imesince e as tmet.Maybe ot sincehe
ceremonyor he monumento Sh uShunsui."leAfter ighting cigar e spoke crosshe marbleable."Yes.
ThatShushun. ."I don't knowwhy,bu t I couldn't ronouncehe nameShuShunsuiorrectly. ecauset was apaneset mademefeelall he moreuneasy. uthe chatted n abouta hostofthings ithout oticing. bout henovelist .,about bull-do ghe hadbought, bout hepoison as ucite . .
"Youdon'tseem o be writingmuch. did read ou r
DeathRegister,owever. . ls hat oneautobiographical?""Yes,
that'sautobiographical.""lt's
rathermorbid. reyouokay hese ays?""l'm
forcedo takedrugs lways,syo uknow."
"l suffer rom nsomniahese ays oo.""What
do yo umeantoo'?"
.....:.1 Shu h nsui1 00-82) as Confuciancholaruringhe arly okugawa
period ho ad riginallyrossedverromChina.
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"WhyI hear oualsohave nsomnia
dangerous,ouknow. ."r ight? t 's
Therewassomethingf a smile evealedn the ef teye
sufferingromconjunctivitis.efore nsweringcould ensethat I wa sgoing o havedifficulty ronouncinghe final
syllable f the word nsomnia.
"lt 'snaturalor he sonof someone ad."Less han en minutesater wasagainwalking long
the street.Scraps f wastepapern the asphalt id no tquite esemblehe aces fmen. hen woman ithbobbed
hairapproachedrom he opposite irection. rom dis-
tance he ooked eautiful. ut whensh ecamenearme
she evealedotonlywrinkles,utugliness.ndsh e ookedpregnant.n spiteof myself turned way romher and
turned ntoa widesidestreet.ut now or some ime had
startedo feelhemorrhoidalains.t waspain could elieve
onlyby a hip-bath."A hipbath-Beethovensed o takehip baths oo."
lmmediatelyhesmell fsulphur sedn hebaths truck
my nostrils. aturally,herewa sno sulphur pparent n
the street. rememberedhe wastepaperoses gainand
walked n as steadily spossible.
An hour ater, onfinedo my roomagain, sat at the
deskandstarted nother hortstory.Thepenmoved lu -
entlyupon he paper o my own surprise. ut aftera few
hourst stopped,s f somethingnvisibleo me had nter-
vened. feltcompelledo rise rom hedeskandwalkback
and ortharound he room.The llusion f expansivenesswasmostunusualhis ime.Witha sortof savageoy felt
ha dneither arentsorwifeno rchildren,ha tal l ha dwa s
the ife hat lowed rommy pen.
But after our or five minutes wascalledo the tele-
t o 21 6 3
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phone. answered an y imes, ut th e telephone erely
i.p.ut.d it sambiguousords.t soundednyhowlkemore.
F in a l l y l a b a n d o n e d t h e t e le p h o n e a n d s t a r t e d p a c in groomagain.But he wordmore, trangelynough' eighed
uponme."More-mole. . ."
Mole s Englishormogura. heassociationasnot ah a p p yo n e t o m e e i t h e r . A n d w i t h i n se co n d s lw a s f i g h t iuguinrtmoleas a mort.La mort-death n French-made
m - e t e e t u n e a s y . A s d e a t h h a d p r e s s e d u p o n m y S i S thusband,o di d t seem ow o be pressing n me ' Bu t
even n my uneasinessfeltsomethingunny'An d found
myself miting nwittingly. hydi d t strikemeas unny?
*irn't sure. stood eforehe mirror, hich hadn't on e
f o rso m e t im e , a n d f a ce d m yre f l e c t i o n . N a t u ra l l ym y fwa ssmiling. hile staring t it , I rememberedhe alter
ego.My seiond elf-theCerman oppelganger-hador -
tunately evermuch esembled e' But K' 'swife 'who
ha dbecome nAmerican ovie tar,happenedo se emy
alter go n hecorridor f he mperialheater.l remem-
Oe rmy embarrassmentt beingaddresseduddenly y
Mrs .K . :" l 'm
sor ry d idn ' t sayhe l lo o you he o ther
day . ' ' JThena fo rmerone- legged t rans la to ra lsohappto se emy alter go n a tobaccoho p n he Ginza' eath
might om e o my altereg o atherha n o me ' Evenf it
occurreo o me-l turnedaway rom the mirror and
returnedo thedeskbeforehe window. fadedawnand
a poolcouldbe seen hrough he squarerameof tufa'Cazing t th e garden rememberedom e otebooksnd
unfiniihedlays hadburnedn a distant inewood.Pick-
in gup ty p.n, I started rit ing t th e ne w tory gain'
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5. RedLight
Thesunlight egano tormentme .Like mole, kept hecurtains rawn nd ,with he electricityn, keptpluggingawayat the story.Then, xhausted,opened aine's rs-torg of English iterature nd read about he livesof the
poets. heyhadall beenunhappy. ven he giants f theElizabethange-evenBen onson,he mostdistinguishedscholar f hisday-would indhimself o wornwithanxietythat hestarted eeing oman ndCarthaginianrmies at-tlinguponhi sbig oe. couldn't etp eeling leasure,otwithout measuref malice,n suchmisfortunes.
On enightwhen n eastwindwa sblowing ar d fo rmea goodomen),went throughhe basementut into heslreet nddecidedo visitan oldman knew.Heworked yhimself s a caretakern theatticof a Bible ompanynddevotedmostof his ime o prayer nd reading.Warmingourhands ver charcoalrazier espoke f varioushingsunder cross n the wall.Wh ydid my mother o insane?Whydid my father ai l n business? hywas beingpun-ished? ewas amiliar ith hese rcanessues ndwithastrange olemn milewould alk with me at lengthand atease. ndat times n hi spithyphrasesecaughtife n alli ts car icature.couldn't e lpadmiringhe hermit n hisattic.Bu t n talkingwithhim, foundhim eeling ertainaffinities-
"Thegardener'saughters ovely, ood-natured-and
so kind o me.""Howold sshe?"
"Eighteenthisyear."
It might ea sortof atherlinessn him.But t washardno t o sense ome assionn hi seyes. nd he apples eofferedme unwittingly n theiryellowedinds evealed
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unicorns.l often oundmythical reaturesn woodgrainand n the cracksn coffee ups.J heunicorns ere,nodoubt, Ulin TheChinesenicornsJ.recalledhata hostilecritichadonce alledmea
"prodigy"(hirinjiJf the l9l0s"andsuddenlyel t hat hisatticwith ts crosswasno safeplace ither.
"Howhave ou been ately?""Edgy,as usual."
"Drugswon't ure t.Whydon't oubecome Christian?"
"l feven could ecome . ."
"There'snothing ard bout t. lf you us tbelieven God,
in ChristheSonof Cod,and he miracleshrist id . . .""Devils
I believen . . .""Then
whynotbelieven Cod? fyoubelieven shadow,I don'tse eho w ouca nhelpbelievingn ightalso."
"Butthere's ome arknessha tha sno ight n t."
"Darknesswithoutight?"
Therewasnothingmore could ay .Hewaswalkingndarknessoo.Bu tas ong s herewas arkness,ebelievedin a light ha twentwith t.Thiswa s heonlypoint f ogicaldifferenceetween s. But to me it wasan unbridgeableabyss . .
"Butthere s ight eally.We havemiracleso provet
. . . Even owadays iraclesccur.""Miracles
are he doings f devils . .""Where
do yourdevils ome n?"I was empted o tell him of my experienceshispast
yearor two. However,couldn't elp earinghat hewouldtell my wifean dchildren nd hat mightbe sentback othe asylum s my mother adbeen.
"What'sthat over here?"
Th eplump ld ma n urned roundo theancient ook-shelvesndmade grimaceatherik ePan.
:tl;
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"That'sa se tof Dostoevski.ave ou readCrime nd
Punishment?"
Naturally'd hada penchantor DosLoevskiome enyears arlier nd ha d ea d ou ror fivebooks f his.Bu rmovedby his sayingat randomCrimeand punishment.Iborrowedhe book romhimanddecidedo go back o thehotel. he treet lazing lectricights nosocrammed ithpeople ppressed e. At this point t wouldhavebeenunbearableo haveme tanyone knew. tried o movethrough arker idestreetsndprogressedikea thief.
Aftera bit, however, startedo feelmy stomach che.onlya glass fwhiskyourd ure hispain. found barandtried o pushmyway hroughhe door.At the ightbar hesmoke as isinghick, ndsome oung eople, ho ookedlike heymight earrists, ere rinkin saketogether.midstit al lwasalso girl,herhairoverheiears, luckingway ta mandolinuite arnestly.t once feltuncertainnd urned
back.withoutaving onepast he door. foundmy shadowswayingo the rightand o the ef twitlessly.nd the ightshining ponme,strangelynough, as ed. stopped. utmy shadow eptwaveringromside o sideust as before.turned roundimidry nd inaily oticed stained-grassan-tern hangingrom the eaveof the bar.Theraniernwasmoving lowly,moved ya strongwind . .
Thenextplace went ntowasa basementestaurant.stood t the barandordered whiskv.
I pouredhe whiskyntoa gtass f sodaandsippedtsilently. ex t o me were wo menof about hirtyor so ,who ookedike ournarists,arkingn a row oice. hevwerespeakingn French. keptmy back o them,but feri treireyesuponme . [n fact, he y mpinged po nme likeanelectric urrent. heyknewmy name,definitely,nd weregossipingboutme .
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Cogwheels
'Bien. . . tresmauvais..pourquoi?"
"Pourquoi?. . . lediable stmort! . ."
"Oui,oui . . d'enfer.."
Itossed silver oin'on he ba r (the as t ea lmoneyha don me )an ddecidedo ge t out of thatbasement.n
the streetwith he nightbreeze lowingmy nerve trength-enedand my stomach-acheased ff . I r ememberedRaskolnikovnd el ta desireo confessverything.ut ,notonly o myself, ut even o my family,t would urely avebeen tragedy. nd t wasquestionablehetherhe desirewas eal r not. f onlymy nerves ere sstrong s hose fordinarymen-but I neededo go somewhereor that tohappen.o Madrid, r Rio, r Samarkand. .
Just hena smallwhite ignat theeave f a shopmademe eeluneasy.t bore he rade-markf wings ainted nan automobileire. t reminded eof carus ithhi sartif i-
cialwings. isattempto fly high, iswings inged y hesun's eat, is inally eing rownedn he sea. o Madrid,or Rio, r Samarkand-howould help aughingt suchsillydream? t the same ime couldn't el p hinking fOrestes ursued y thegodsof vengeance.
I walked n a dark streetby a canal.Then remem-beredmy foster arents' ome n the suburbs. f course,theymustbewaitingorme o return.Probably ychildrentoo-but when returned-l couldn't elp earingherewouldbe some orce here o restrainme, naturally. he
lapping ater f thecanalifted unkboat esideme.Fromthe bottom f the boata faint ightshone. hereoo theremustbe a family,me nan dwomen,ivingogether. atingeachotherand stil l oving ac hotherenough . . but Irousedmy mind o continuehe struggle nd decidedoreturno the hotel, eelinghewhiskyn me .
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Back t thedesk returnedo my reading f M6rim6e,sLettTrs.t quietry egan o reviveme. gut when discov-ered ha tM6rim6e ad n his aterfearsbecome protes-tant,. suddenlyensed e wa swearing mask.He wa sropingn darknessustas *. *.r..-rn darkness_A DarhNight.'s assingbegan o assumeearfulproportionsforme. I turned o AnatoleFrance,s oltectdd iab,g;es oforget
my depression'ut nrispanof modern imesarsob o r e a c r o s s . .
Aboutan hour hereafterheboybroughtmea batch fletters.Oneof themwas roma noofsfropn Leipzigskingme fo r an essay n ,,ModernWomenn Japan.,,Whyothey ook o me for such narticle? herewasa postscript(i nEnglishJ,andwritten:we*ouio'uppr.ciaters o ronowith t a portrait f a woman-nriir brack-and-wrrit.a, iiJapaneseaintines."Th ewordt rino.o me of *re w.is*yBlack& Whire, nO toru i.r. ui., io shreds. broke heseal fon e f heotheretters,uite irandom,
nd cannedthe yellowetterpaper. t was roma youngster,omeoneunknowno me.Butaftera few inestrewords yourHetlscreen ' ." irritatedme.*re trrirJone openedwas rommy nephew. ftera..goodeepbreath, plungeOnto uuO_in g about he famiry rontems,,.."gr, even hi s etterbowledme overat if s close
,"1'mendingou a copyof th e second dition f th eRedLightAnthotogg . .,,
RedLighil t felt ikesomeone asderidingme and Isought herter utsidehe room. n r.'.corridorherewas
ll,ol-._ I leaned gainsthewallwirhonehand or support3n9.aOe
myway o rhe obby. tooka chair nddecidedto lighta cigarene. omehowl ** ln nionip .igur.tt.. 1iadonly moked tar igarettesincecomingo thishoter.JArtificial ingsoomed eforeV .V., again. decidedo
1 681 6 9
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call he boyoverandhavehimge t me wo packs f Star.But f I could elievehe boy,unfortunatelyll heStars aobeen ol dout.
"Butwe have irships,ir . ."
I shookmy headan d ooked round he vast obbv.over on the othersideweresome oreignerst a tabietalking. neof them,
womann a red dress, eemedobe ooking t mean dspeakingo th eothersn a whisper." M r s . T o w n s h e a d . . . "
Somethingeyondmy powero see ameo me never_thelesshroughhewhispering.hename fMrs.Townsheadwas,of course, nfamiliaro me .Evenf it were he nameof that woman here-r roseand,harfcrazed ith fear,decidedo go back o my room.
Back n the room thought f cailing certainmentarhospital. ut o go theremeantdeath o me.Aftermuchhesitancy started eadingCrimeand punishmentto dis-
tractmyself. hepage turned o, however, as romTheBrothers aramazov.ssuminghadmade mistaken mvacquisition,looked t the cover. rimeand punishment:thebookmust ecrime ndpunishment.lnthebookbinder'serror, n the fact hat I hadopenedo thispagewronglybound, felta fatefulingermoving nd nevitablveaoon.Bu tbefore had inishedven nepage begano feelmybody rembling.t wasa passagef rvan's eingorm.nt.iby he Devil'snquisition.van, trindberg,e Maupassant,myself,n this oom . .
Onlysleepould av eme n thisstate.Th esleepingdrugswereal l gone hrough, efore rearizedt. r couion
bear he tormentwithout reep. it h a courage or nofdesperationhada cupof coffee roughtn anddecidedokeepwriting rantically.wo, ive,seven,en pages_themanuscrlptas ashedff . filledhestorywith upernatural
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creatures.neof hecreaturesepicted yself. utexhaus-
tion inallymademy head imp. withdrewro m he desk
an d ay on my back n the bed. musthave leptabout
fortyor fiftyminutes. felt someone hisperingn my ear,
which woke ndbroughtme o my eet, hewords:"Le
diableestmort."
Outs ide he tufa windowday wasabout o breakshiveringly.stood t hedoorand ooked roundheempty
room. n hewindowpanenoticed small cene f he se a
beyond yellowishinewood. went o the windowwith
some imidity,o see hatwhathadevokedhe picture as
the withered rass nd pool n the garden. ut he mage
hadbroughto minda sorlof nostalgiaor myhouse.
I decidedwould o home fter ha dcalled neof th e
magazineompaniesnd ound ome ource f income, t
nineo'clock. ooks, apers, ea rwere tuffed ack ntomy
ba gon he desk.
6. Airplane
I picked p a car roma station n theTokaido ine o a
summeresort ome istanceway. or omeeason,espite
the chillyweather,he driverwaswearing n old raincoat.
Feelingomethingueern hi scoincidence,tried o keep
looking ut thewindow o as not o seehim, f possible.
Justbeyond placewhere mallpine reesweregrowing,
probablylong noldpath, saw funeral rocessionass-
ing.There eemedo b e no white anternsr shrinean -terns n theprocession.utgoldandsilver rtificiallowers
were ilently wayingefore ndafter he bier . .
When finally ot home hada fewverypeacefulays,
thankso my wifean dchildren nd opiates. he upstairs
commanded modest ie wof the se abeyond he pine
1 7 0 1 7 1
Cogwheels
woods. t thedeskupstairs,earinghe pigeonsooing,
decidedo workonlymornings.n additiono pigeonsnd
crows, parrowsould lsoalight n he porch. t wasa oy
to me.A
magpie ntershehall"-withpe n n hand, hen-
ever heycame,he words ame o me oo.
Onewarmcloudy fternoonwent o the store o buy
somenk .Th eonly nk heyha dwa s epia. epiank mademe moreuncomfortablehananyother. had o getoutof
the shopandstrolled long he busy treet lone.A near-
sightedoreigner f forryor so wentstrutting y. He was
Swedishndsufferedromparanoiand ivednearby. nc
hi s namewa sStrindberg. he n passed im, he event
physicallyeighedn me .
Thestreetwasonlya few blocksong.But n walking
that distance dog,black n on eside,passedme four
times. urninghe corner, recalled lack Whitewhisky.
And I rememberedoo that Strindberg'sravatwasblack
an dwhite.t couldn't e us t coincidence.nd f t wasn't-
I feltas f onlymy head adbeenwalking ndpausedor a
moment. ehind wire ence y the roada faint ainbow-
colored lass owlhadbeen iscarded.n the base f the
bowlwa s tamped designik ea wing.A number f spar-
rows lewdown rom he pine ops.But when hey came
near t, each, s f in common ccord,lewof f ogethernto
t h e s k y . . .I went o my wife'sparents' ouse ndsat on a rattan
chair n the garden.n a wirecoopat onecorner f the
gardenmanywhiteLeghornsadded uietly bout.At myfeet ay a blackdog.Trying o answer question o one
couldgrasp, wasoutwardlyoo las I conversedith my
wife'smother ndyounger rother."lt 's
veryquiethere.""Well,quieterha nTokyo nyhow."
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Akutagawa
"l sit noisy er e ometimesoo?"
"Thisis partof theworld oo,youknow.',
An d n saying o,my wife'smotheraughed.rue, hi ssummeresortwaspartof theworld.Within he pastyearor so I hadcompletelyome o knowhowmanywere hecrimes nd ragediesha t occurred venhere.A doctorwh oha dslowlyried o killa patientwithpoison, n ol dwomanwhoset ire o the house f an adopted ouple,lawyer ho ried o dispossessisyounger ister f he rlegacy-to ookat theirhouses asonly o see he helloflife, o me .
"There'sa lunaticn this own, sn't here?',"Perhapsyou meanH. He sn'ta lunatic. e' sbecome
an diot.""What's
called ementiaraecox. ealwaysmakesmefeelqueer. don't knowwh yhe wa sbowing efore heHorse-headedannon."
"Feel
queer . . Youhave o ge tstrongerhan hat.""You'restrongerha n am , hough . ., 'My wife's ounger rother, nshaven,p fromsickbed,
joinedn, uncertainly,salways."[ 'm
weak, ut n a waystrong . .""Well,it 's oo bad."
Lookingtmywife's othercouldn'tel p milingrimly.The broth€r, lsosmiling hile azing t th e pinewooOsbeyondhe ence,hatterednabsent-mindedly.The oungconvalescentrother ometimeseemedo mea spirit ha ihadescapedts body.J
"l'mstrangelynworldlyndyet at thesameim ehavesuch ntenseumanonging. ."
"Sometimesa goodman, ometimesba done.,'"No,
somethinguite ifferentro mgoodor evil.""L ikea chi ldiv ingnsidenadult ."
1 1 1 1 7 3
Cogwheels
"Notexactlyike hat. can'tsay t clearly . . Maybe
more ike he two poles n electricity.nyhow have wo
differenthings oing t once."
Whatstartledme a[ that momentwas he roarof an
airplane.n spite f myself looked p to findan airplaneflyingowenough,t seemed,o grazehe opsof hepines.
It was n unusual onoplaneit h tswings aintedellow.
Thechickensnd he dogwerestartledoo and ranabout
in al ldirections.hedo g lew n underhe porch arking."Won't
thatairplaneall?""Never
. . . Doyouknowof airplane isease?"
Lighting cigar shookmyhead,nsteadf sayingno."
"Sincepeople iding hose irplanesreathehe air of
the upperatmospherell the time, t is said hat theyaregraduallynableo liveon he airdown ere . ."
Walking midst he pineswhose ranchesever tirred
evenonceafter left my wife'smother's ouse, found
myselfittleby littledepressed. hydid hat airplaneakethat course,us toverme,andnot another?Whydid they
onlyhaveAirship igarettest that hotel? wrestled ith
these arious uestionsnd walked n streets hosenor
having o signs f ifeon hem.Theseawasgrayandclouded verbeyond lowsand-
hill.On he sandy hore tood he rame f a swingwithout
a swing n t. Looking t it broughtmmediatelyo mindagallows. nda fewcrowsit upon t. They ll ooked t me,
but showed o signof takingwing.And one crow, n the
center,ifted ts beak o the skyandcawedour imes.
Walking long he strandwith ts withered rass,
decidedo turn off alonga pathwheremanyvillaswere
located.o he rightof thepathwassupposedo bea two-
storied oodenWestern-styleouse, tanding hiteamonghighpines. A good riend f mine alledt
"TheAbode f
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Akutagawa
Spring.") ut n passingt lnot iced nlya bathtub n a
.on.rit. base.A fire-the thoughtquickly ame o mind
and walked traight n, ryingnot o look n' A manon a
bicycle as oming traight n.Wearing darkbrown unt-
ing cap,hi seyesoddly ixed, unched ve r he handles'
Uriexpectedlyfeltmy oldersister's usband'saceon his
faceanddecidedo turn of f up a lanebefore e reached
me.But n thecenter f the ane ay,on ts back' he dead
bodyof a mole.
ihut tot.thing wasaiming t me began o makeme
witheach tepmoreuneasy. alf-transparentogsgradu-
allybegano blockmy view.Fearfulhat my lastmoment
was inittyat hand, walked nandkeptmy neck igid'As
the cogs ncreasedn number,heybegan lso o turn'At
thesameime he pinewoodon myrightbegano seem s
if seenhroughine utglass ith hebranchesuietlynter-
twining. feltmy heart hrobbing nd riedmany imeso
purr.in thepath.Bu t t wasn't asy ven o pause' s f I
werebeingPushed n bYsomeone' '
Afterabout hirtyminutes wasupstairsesting n my
backandsu f fe r ingf romanacu teheadache ,myeyes f i rmlyclosed. hen,rombehindmy eyelids wingof overlapping
s i l ve r f e a t h e rs l i ke sca le sb e g a n t o a p p e a r . l t w a sc le a r l yreflectedponmy retina'Openingmy eyes, looked p at
the ceiling nd having onfirmedha t therewasno such
thing here, ecidedo closemy eyes gain'Bu t he silver
w ingassure ly re tu rnedw i th thedarknessasbe fo re .Then lr e m e m b e r e d , t h e r e h a d b e e n a w i n g t o o o n t h e r a d i a t o rcapof thecab took he otherday ' '
Someoneam eup th e stairs urriedly nd ra n down
soon fterwitha clatter. tartledt realizingt wasmywlte'
I immed ia te lygotupandwentdownto thedark l i v ing roomthat hestairsed nto.Mywife,whoseemedo besuffering
t t +1 7 5
Cogwheels
lromshortnessf breath,esting ponher ace,was rem-
bling t th eshoulders."What'sthe matter?"" N o , n o t h i n g . . . "
Finallyhe ifted er ace nd orced smile hilealking'"Nothing-itjustcament omy mind,Father,ha lyou
were bout o di e . ."Itwashemost righteningxperiencenmy ife-l haven't
the strengtho go on writing.t is inexpressiblyainfulo
live n sucha frame f mind. sn't hereanyoneo come
andstrangle equietlYn mYsleeP?
1927
Transtatedg CidCorman ndSusumu amaihe
.1".