20th - Web viewThe Rest of the World team left Kleinmond with their tails between their legs...

2014

DECEMBER

30th. KleinmondPick ‘n’ Mix Alliance

102 Dave S. / Andre F. / Ian / Peter Ther.94 Jon F. / Dave Rad. / Michel / Alan C.88 Richard / Art / David N. / Geoff80 Dave B. / Koos / Peter Thom. / Hugh

23rd. KleinmondScramble

59 (67) Gordon / Pierre (guest) / David N. / Alan S.61 c/i (70) Richard / Dave Rad. / Michel / John C.61 c/o (70) Art / Mike (guest) / John T. / Peter Thom.61 c/o (70) Andre F. / Koos / Geoff / Alan C.62 (70) Doug / Peter Ther. / Andrew (guest) / Hugh63 (74) Dave S. / Jon F. / Dave B.

16th. Kleinmond3 clubs + putter

Individual Stableford:

41 Ian; 39 Gordon; 38 Hugh; 36 Richard; 35 Art; 34 Jon F., Dave S., Alan S.; 32 Dave B.; 31 Koos; 30 Andre H.; 29 Doug; 28 Mannes, Alan C.; 27 John C., Michel, Morgan; 26 Sam, David N.; 24 Chris vZ.; 20 Keagan (guest); 19 Peter Thom.

4BBB:

48 Jon F. / Richard47 Ian / Sam45 Gordon / Peter Thom.42 Andre H. / Hugh; Art / Alan S.40 Dave S. / Doug39 Jon F. / John C.; Koos / Dave B.38 Doug / Michel35 Mannes / Keagan; Morgan / Chris vZ.33 David N. / Alan C

9th. Kleinmond

The Rest of the World team left Kleinmond with their tails between their legs after a comprehensive thrashing from the rampant Boks who won all but 2 of the pairings and cruised to a 22 point victory.

Luckily, the former were able to drown their sorrows and the latter to toast their success at the annual dinner and presentation gathering held later at Molteno’s in Onrus.

Dave Smith welcomed members and guests and reported on the year’s activities.

Membership has increased almost to the self-imposed limit and the number of games played in the year rose by nearly a quarter

2014 saw the milestone of R40.000 having been raised for charity since the DOGS began and this year’s beneficiary will be SOFCA. The money is raised through donations and sweepstakes but mainly at DOGSDINNERS – regular social events arranged by member Cruiser Thomas and his wife Angie who were thanked for their efforts.

Another great success of the year was a golfing tour to George which is now likely to become a regular event.

After the presentations, which included an unusual rendition of the SA national anthem, the group sat down to enjoy the Naked Chef’s cuisine and, of course, sampled the offerings from his bar.

RSA v ROW

RSA ROW

Ian Newman Louwtjie

Kruger12 V Tony Jones Geoff

Crowther6

Dave Rade Jon Forsyth 12 V Dave Smith Dave Brittain 6 Andre Hattingh

Andre Franken

9.5 V Peter Thomas John Tunstall 8.5

Gordon Morgan 7 V Chris Martin John 11

Wilson O'Kennedy Cheesbrough Mannes van Zyl

Brian Oosthuizen

11.5 V David Naylor Dave Robinson

6.5

Sam Seal Gary Wentzel 11.5 V Alan Smith Michel Maury 6.5 Peter Theron Pat Dewil 8.5 V Doug Ross Art Rae 9.5 Hugh Frangs Koos Roelofse 11 V Mike Graham Alan Calder 7

TOTAL 83 61

2nd. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Final Log) / 4BBB

Sporran McCalder took the honours with a magnificent 42 on a day which started out with ideal weather for the hardy Scot.But many questions remained unanswered: Would Mr. Countback hold on to his place as log leader? Would the showers continue for all the round? Would Hanging Judge Robinson escape further ignominy? Should Frenchmen be allowed to drive golf carts?NO – as his “hazy” George tour form continued; NO – oh ye of little faith in golfweather.com and DOGSBODY’s seaweed; NO – despite a worryingly improving performance; NO – they drive on the wrong side of the road and ‘andz are for steering not talking.

Stableford: 42 Alan Calder; 41 Hugh Frangs; 39 Mannes van Zyl; 36 Andre Franken, Ian Newman, Peter Theron; 35 Dave Brittain, Koos Roelofse; 34 Michel Maury; 33 Peter Thomas; 30 Jon Forsyth, Dave Smith; 28 Gary Wentzel; 27 Mike Graham, Pat Dewil; 25 Tony Jones; 24 Dave Robinson

4BBB: 50 Hugh Frangs / Michel Maury; 49 Alan Calder / Gary Wentzel; 48 Peter Theron / Mannes van Zyl; 44 Jon Forsyth / Andre Franken, Peter Thomas / Gary Wentzel; 42 Ian Newman / Dave Smith; 39 Pat Dewil / Koos Roelofse; 38 Mike Graham / Dave Brittain; 37 Mike Graham / Tony Jones; 34 Pat Dewil / Dave Robinson

NOVEMBER

26th. - 28th.

Tour

Player KGC GGC MBGC TotalAndre F. 40 38 31 109Dave Rad 35 38 31 104Michel 31 37 34 102Art 32 31 27 90Dave B. 30 24 35 89Chris 24 30 33 87Gordon 22 31 33 86Dave S. 21 30 30 81Doug 30 24 27 81David N. 24 27 25 76Alan S. 21 32 22 75Sam 33 20 19 72Jon F. 32 19 17 68Geoff 23 16 28 67Peter Thom. 19 21 17 57Dave Rob. 15 14 20 49

25th. KleinmondAnnual Medal

A Division69 Mannes71 Dave Rad.72 Morgan74 Peter Ther.78 Art79 Jon F.80 Dave B., Andre F., John H.83 SamN/R Gary, Gordon, Chris vZ.

B Division71 Koos73 Hugh74 Pat75 Ian, Chris M.78 Geoff81 John C., David N.82 Tony J.85 Robbo, Dave S.87 Michel

89 John T.98 Peter Thom.

18th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log) / Globular Sphericals Alliance

The DOGS spent Tuesday being chased round Kleinmond by a bunch of 36 Swedes – a vegetarian’s nightmare. The Swedes gave in after 9 though when the pack started to lap them – another disturbing image.Mr. Jon Forsyth has temporarily been stripped of his official nickname after refusing yet again to undergo a countback.Regrettably, Mr Halifax had his birthday celebrations marred by yet another battery malfunction.The inaugural Globular Sphericals Alliance was won by Cruiser, Laser, Desert Storm and Morse although the Inspector couldn’t quite figure out the MO.

42 Jon Forsyth; 39 Art Rae; 37 Alan Smith, John Cheesbrough; 36 Morgan O’Kennedy, Dave Smith, Peter Theron; 35 Andre Franken, Koos Roelofse; 33 Dave Brittain, Alan Calder; 32 Mannes van Zyl, Ian Newman, Louwtjie Kruger; 31 Gary Wentzel; 30 Chris Martin, Peter Thomas; 29 Peter Sulley; 27 David Naylor, Dave Rade, Gordon Wilson, Sam Seal, Vic vd Westhuizen; 26 Geoff Crowther; 24 Dave Robinson, John Tunstall; Also ran: Keith Gillott

Globular Sphericals Alliance

Position Player 1 Player 2 Player 3 Player 4 Score

1 Dave B. Alan S. Peter Thom. Art 92

2 Louwtjie Vic John C. Koos 89

3= Andre F. Chris M. Dave S. 82

3= Alan C. Ian John T. Sam 82

5= Jon F. Morgan David N. Keith 81

5= Mannes Geoff Gordon Peter Ther. 81

7 Dave Rad. Peter S. Robbo Gary 78

11th. Hermanus

Individual Stableford (Log) / Landlord’s Cup

It is hard to think of a logical reason why the scores were so high on Tuesday. Is the Hermanus course getting easier? Is the standard of DOGS’ golf getting better? Is there a concerted effort to get handicaps down before the big end-of-year fixture? No logic there then.The Countback King won again without the need of a countout and so had nothing (much) to moan about, closing the gap at the top of the log to just 5 points with 2 to play.Hanging Judge Robinson wants to see the catering staff as there must have been something in his half-way sandwich to account for his back 9 performance.The Landlord’s Cup, a blind pairs competition (or the blind leading the blind in some cases) was won by Biggles and The Prof. 40 Jon Forsyth; 38 Fred Garrett, Louwtjie Kruger; 37 Chris Martin, Dave Rade; 36 Morgan O’Kennedy, Andre Hattingh, Koos Roelofse, Andre Franken; 35 Dave Brittain, Alan Smith; 34 Dave Smith, Tony Jones, Peter Sulley, Ian Newman, Peter Theron; 33 Hugh Frangs; 30 John Horobin, Gordon Wilson, John Tunstall; 29 Sam Seal, David Naylor; 27 John Cheesbrough; 26 Geoff Crowther, Mannes van Zyl, Art Rae; 25 Gary Wentzel, Pat Dewil; 24 Peter Thomas; 20 Dave Robinson

Landlord's Cup 2014

Position Player 1 Points Player 2 Points Total

1 Koos 36 Louwtjie 38 74

2 Tony J. 34 Dave Rad. 37 71

3 Hugh 33 Peter Ther. 34 67

4 David N. 29 Chris M. 37 66

5= Gary 25 Jon F. 40 65

5= Gordon 30 Alan S. 35 65

7= John T. 30 Ian 34 64

7= Fred 38 Geoff 26 64

7= John H. 30 Peter S. 34 64

10 Morgan 36 John C. 27 63

11 Mannes 26 Andre F. 36 62

12 Andre H. 36 Peter Thom. 24 60

13 Dave S. 34 Pat 25 59

14= Robbo 20 Dave B. 35 55

14= Sam 29 Art 26 55

OCTOBER

28th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log) / 4BBB

Thanks to 2 ideas from Mr. Bojangles (who incidentally owns 2 pubs) the DOGS have now started playing 2 different competitions each week.As if hitting one ball is not difficult enough, some of the more intellectually challenged thought that hitting 2 balls and filling in 2 cards would overcomplicate matters. It will make things even worse when the 2 competitions are played on 2 different courses.There were even 2 winners of the main event with Mr. Security just pipping The Star of David - counted in on the last hole (pity it wasn’t the last 2). He also shared the 4BBB with Enzo van Zyl making it 2 trophies in a day.New boy Deon the Jolly Green Giant was in double trouble.

Stableford: 42 John Tunstall, Dave Rade; 39 Andre Franken, Alan Smith, Mannes van Zyl; 38 Art Rae, Jon Forsyth; 37 Vic vd Westhuizen; 36 Ian Newman; 35 Peter Theron, John Cheesbrough, Gary Wentzel; 33 Koos Roelofse; 32 Hugh Frangs, Peter Thomas; 31 Fred Garrett, Dave Smith; 29 Michel Maury, Trevor Vaughan, Gordon Wilson; 28 John Horobin, Sam Seal; 27 David Naylor; 26 Dave Robinson; 18 Deon Pheiffer4BBB: 51 John Tunstall/Mannes van Zyl; 47 Vic vd Westhuizen/Peter Theron; 46 Andre Franken/Fred Garrett, Andre Franken/Dave Robinson, Dave Smith/Dave Rade, Alan Smith/Gary Wentzel; 45 Ian Newman/Peter Theron; 43 Hugh Frangs/John Horobin, Michel Maury/Art Rae; 42 Koos Roelofse/Peter Thomas,

Jon Forsyth/Dean Pheiffer; 42 John Cheesbrough/John Horobin; David Naylor/Sam Seal; 35 Trevor Vaughan/Gordon Wilson

21st. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

It was a day for the DOGS at Hermanus when history was made in so many ways:- the Countback King came first without the need of a countout;- the Naked Chef acquired a new surname and therefore signed for the wrong player;- Judge Robinson, unlike Oscar, avoided being put away and only got a suspended sentence;- Mr. Bojangles, who has never won the trophy nor the hat now has one out of two.And just to correct the historical record, The Ex-Pole-Dancer was disturbed that his display of petulance last week was misrepresented here – in fact he also threw his toys out of the pram on the 10th. tee. By way of an apology he has asked that we publish the following statement: “Something nice about me”.

37 Jon Forsyth; 36 Andre Franken, John Tunstall; 35 Michel Maury, Peter Theron; 34 Alan Smith; 33 Mannes van Zyl, Dave Rade; 32 Peter Thomas, Gordon Wilson (Watson); 31 Dave Smith, Alan Calder; 29 John Horobin, John Cheesbrough, Hugh Frangs; 28 David Naylor; 27 Johan (guest); 26 Art Rae, Chris van Zyl, Gary Wentzel, Pat Dewil; 25 Peter Sulley; 23 Dave Robinson; 21 Sam Seal

14th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

The Naked Chef was cooking with gas on a glorious day at Kleinmond. He produced the dish of the day with a tasty 41 and, to round things off, put the icing on the cake by winning the weekly sweepstake.The Ex-Pole-Dancer got himself into a bit of a stew with his in-flight catering – he didn’t cater for his flying clubs getting stuck in a tree.Back on the ground, there was a bake-off for last place between Cruiser Thomas and Mr. Halifax. Cruiser’s Eton Mess couldn’t compete and Mr. Halifax became the day’s Yorkshire Pudding.

41 Gordon Wilson; 39 Jon Forsyth, Peter Theron; 35 Dave Smith; 34 Hugh Frangs, Ian Newman; 33 John Cheesbrough, Mannes van Zyl; 32 Mike Graham; 31 John Tunstall; 30 Tony Hackett, Dave Rade; 28 Pat Dewil, Art Rae; 27 Andre Franken; 24 Trevor Vaughan; 22 Peter Thomas, David Naylor


With the shooting of so many surprisingly high scores on Tuesday there was a feeling of playing in the middle of Bandit Territory rather than peaceful Kleinmond.The usual suspects kept their heads down for a change and it was left to the Three Amigos - Pedro Theron, Gaucho Rade and Poncho Wentzel – to fight it out to the death. Poncho won it after recounting his spoils.Sheriff Robinson stood little chance against these odds.

39 Gary Wentzel, Peter Theron, Dave Rade; 37 David Naylor; 36 John Cheesbrough, Ian Newman; 35 Dave Smith, Tony Hackett; 33 Gordon Wilson, Trevor Vaughan, Andre Franken; 32 Hugh Frangs, Jon Forsyth; 31 John Tunstall; 28 Mike Graham, Mannes van Zyl, Peter Thomas, Sam Seal; 24 Pat Dewil; 23 Keagan Seal (guest); 19 Dave Robinson

SEPTEMBER


It was a day of anomalies, surprises, ups and downs, swings, roundabouts and, it appears, clichés.The greens still had more sand than the bunkers and longer grass than the fairways but the scores were good nonetheless.The weather stayed mainly dry despite the conditions across the bay and the pessimism of some forecasters (and DOGS!).Clever Trevor emerged from his recent slump to soar to victory. Huge slumped from his recent soar and just avoided last place thanks to the wonders of timing and arithmetic. Pat of the Bushveld sloped off with his tail between his legs.

39 Trevor Vaughan; 38 Andre Franken; 37 Alan Smith, Jon Forsyth; 36 Gordon Wilson, Ian Newman; 35 John Cheesbrough; 34 Tony Hackett, John Tunstall; 32 Peter Theron; 30 Gary Wentzel, Fred Garrett; 29 Dave Smith; 24 Peter Thomas; 23 Hugh Frangs, Pat Dewil

23rd. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

Despite the tiny obstacle created by the sanded, hollow-tined greens, there were some big scores on Tuesday with an ample proportion of a sizeable field beating 30 points.But none were bigger than the monumental one posted by Huge to record an immense victory of gigantic proportions, albeit a small step for mankind.

Some swallows are back now that Spring has arrived and no surprises were sprung at the bottom end of the leaderboard.

40 Hugh Frangs; 39 Jon Forsyth; 37 Dave Rade, Ian Newman; 36 Gordon Wilson; 35 Dave Smith; 34 Andre Franken, Sam Seal, John Tunstall; 33 Mike Graham; 31 John Cheesbrough, Gary Wentzel; 30 Michel Maury, Alan Smith; 27 Tony Hackett; 24 Peter Thomas; 23 Trevor Vaughan; 20 Peter Sulley (DNF); 19 Dave Robinson

16th. TheewaterskloofIndividual Stableford (Log)

The DOGS were in a bit of a fog when they teed off by the dam and it was even more difficult than usual to see those wayward ball-flights.After a few holes though, the sun burnt through and even the stars came out to shine, particularly the Star of David who pipped Mr. Security to claim his maiden DOGS win in many years of trying. Mr. Security’s temporarily elevated status was quickly brought back to earth when he discovered he had left his car window open for 5 ½ hours! Do as I say not as I do?The fog never really lifted for guest Paul.

37 Dave Rade, John Tunstall; 35 Jon Forsyth, Andre Franken; 34 Gary Wentzel; 32 Ian Newman, Sam Seal; 31 Peter Thomas; 30 Dave Smith, Gordon Wilson, David (guest); 28 Trevor Vaughan; 27 Mike Graham, Hugh Frangs; 22 Michel Maury; 16 Paul Barkley (guest)


Just like London buses, you wait for ever and then 2 come along at once. And sure enough, Mr. Countback defeated his arch-rival by a comfortable two points to make it a double-decker (counting this week and counting last week).There was some anxious counting on the lower deck too with no less than 6 players within 2 points of ignominy – and not the usual suspects either.In the end it was Trichi Vichi who snatched defeat from the jaws of victory leaving the Star of David to twinkle for another day.

41 Jon Forsyth; 39 Andre Franken; 38 Dave Smith; 36 Fred Garrett, Alan Smith; 32 Trevor Vaughan; 31 Quentin Mitchell, Peter Sulley; 30 Gordon Wilson; 29 Hugh Frangs; 28 Andre Hattingh, Pat Dewil, Peter Thomas; 27 Ian Newman; 26 Dave Rade, Vic vd Westhuizen

2nd. ArabellaIndividual Stableford (Log)

Once again, the DOGS were caught out by the weather on Tuesday at Arabella. Venturing out of their winter quarters they were confronted with cloudless blue skies, blindingly bright sunshine and the eerie stillness of a lack of wind.Only 4 managed to cope reasonably well with the conditions but at least the rest of the field bravely battled through to the 18th. for a change.Mr. Countback achieved his maiden solo victory without having to resort to a calculator.

37 Jon Forsyth; 36 Andre Franken; 35 Dave Rade; 34 Morgan O’Kennedy; 27 Peter Thomas, Art Rae (guest); 26 Peter Sulley, Peter Theron, Hugo Steyn (guest); 25 Dave Smith; 24 Pat Dewil; 23 Sam Seal, John Tunstall; 22 Gordon Wilson, Alan Smith; 21 Hugh Frangs; 15 Trevor Vaughan

AUGUST


When the going gets tough…!A slight breeze at Kleinmond forced Half-Time Shirley and a pack of whimpering pups to abandon play after 9 holes leaving only The Magnificent Seven to finish the round.Despite the conditions, some very creditable scores were recorded particularly from the Ex-Pole-Dancer and the Ex-Used-House-Salesman. Under the circumstances, the ignominy of the loser’s hat was held over until next week.To further prove their alpha male status, the winner and The Naked Chef waited for the rain to start and proceeded to play another 9.

36 Andre Franken; 35 Ian Newman; 32 Jon Forsyth, Dave Smith; 25 Peter Thomas; 22 Gordon Wilson, Trevor Vaughan; DNF:16 John Tunstall; 15 Peter Sulley; 14 Mike Graham; 13 Dave Rade; 12 Peter Theron; 11 Hugh Frangs; 9 Sam Seal; 8 Doug Ross


All the ingredients were there on Tuesday for a fine feast of golf: freshly cut greens, sun-blushed slices and plenty of roughage.It was Half-time Shirley and the Ex-Pole-Dancer who served up the tastiest treats with Shirley just edging it by virtue of his creamy finish.

Surprisingly, it was the Naked Chef who failed to produce the goods. Instead of putting for dough it was as though he was putting through dough and his Yorkshires just wouldn’t rise.

38 Peter Sulley, Andre Franken; 37 Fred Garrett, Jon Forsyth; 35 Quentin Mitchell, Art Rae (guest), Dave Rade; 33 Alan Smith, Mike Graham, Sam Seal; 30 Richard Ridge, Hugh Frangs, Ian Newman; 29 John Tunstall; 26 Trevor Vaughan, Marc de Maudave Bestel; 25 Dave Smith; 24 Doug Ross; 23 Peter Theron; 22 Gordon Wilson

JULY


There was to be no shock hat-trick for DOGSbody on Tuesday. The only shock was his trick of just avoiding the loser’s hat. This latter was prematurely awarded to “Frankie” Vaughan before Mr. Security limped in having been mugged out on the course by his cart.The winner was the Ex-Pole-Dancer who displayed the sort of steely mental toughness which once took him to the top of the pole to display his class. He was neck and neck with Mr. Countback until 16 when his oppo decided to give up rather than be counted out yet again.Talking of counting – 17 plus 19 does not equal 38 Rigger!

44 Andre Franken; 39 Jon Forsyth; 36 Richard Ridge; 34 Peter Theron, Ian Newman; 33 Alan Smith; 31 Morgan O’Kennedy; 30 George Sauerman (guest); Peter Sulley; 29 Dave Rade; 27 Sam Seal; 26 Gordon Wilson; 24 Dave Smith; 20 Trevor Vaughan; 18 John Tunstall

22nd. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

Rory’s great victory at Royal Liverpool was overshadowed by DOGSbody’s unlikely back-to-back double at Royal Kleinmond. The highlight of his round was holing a 130m approach on the second – clever course management to avoid having to putt to a tricky pin position.The Ex-Pole-Dancer came close but his game is being affected by recent revelations on Facebook concerning his feminine side.The Star of David and Rigger Ridge concentrated rather on winning the big money and somehow managed to escape through a side entrance pursued by a thirsty pack.

37 Dave Smith; 36 Andre Franken; 35 Dave Rade; 34 Richard Ridge; 33 Ian Newman; 31 Alan Smith; 30 Morgan O’Kennedy, Jon Forsyth; 29 Gordon Wilson;

28 Doug Ross, Michel Maury; 27 Peter Theron, John Tunstall; 26 Mike Graham; 24 Trevor Vaughan


Every DOG has its day and it was DOGSbody’s turn for the first time this year on Tuesday. He coasted in a full 3 lengths clear of the Ex-Pole-Dancer who was in turn 4 lengths ahead of the also-rans.Guest Glen is beginning to worry about the cost of golf as his bill for golf balls increases each week.A certain MacDOG also had an expensive outing following an incident involving a sand wedge and a carry bag containing a cell phone and a set of car keys. A chipping lesson and a course in anger management might have been cheaper.

42 Dave Smith; 39 Andre Franken; 35 Richard Ridge; 34 Peter Theron, Michel Maury, Gordon Wilson, Brian Oosthuizen; 33 Alan Smith; 32 Jon Forsyth; 31 Sam Seal, Morgan O’Kennedy; 30 Dave Rade; 29 Keagan Seal (guest); 28 Mike Graham; 27 Trevor Vaughan; 25 Ian Newman, Peter Sulley, Doug Ross; 24 Vic vd Westhuizen; John Tunstall; 19 Glen Smith (guest)


It was back to the log after a 3-week break and the tension was palpable. So much so that performances were affected on a day when conditions were perfect and the greens were as slick and tricky as Oscar’s defence team.How 19 grown men can perform so poorly is one of life’s great mysteries. Nobody managed to play to their handicap, even the embarrassed winner whose own is now as high as the pole he used to climb.Yet again, blushes were spared at the bottom end by a guest who, admittedly, had not played for 3 years during which half his body was replaced.

34 Andre Franken; 33 Jon Forsyth, Brian Oosthuizen, Ian Newman; 32 Alan Smith, Doug Ross, Richard Ridge; 29 Keagan Seal (guest); 28 Dave Rade, Morgan O’Kennedy, Peter Sulley; 27 Dave Smith, Gary Wentzel; 26 Michel Maury; 25 Sam Seal; 24 Vic vd Westhuizen, Peter Theron; 22 Trevor Vaughan; 17 Glen Smith (guest)

1st. HermanusTexas Scramble

It was a scramble but The Countback King led his team of Rigger Ridge and The Legal Eagle through the gales to another victory. It was a very small field, more of a village green, but for Countback a win’s a win.

There were some unusual added benefits on offer during the round notably free hair restyling (for those that have any) and complimentary facial scrubs as the wind whipped the sand from the Hermanus bunkers onto Grotto Beach.Dougal MacRoss combined both with a scalp scrub.

68: Jon Forsyth, Richard Ridge, Peter Theron70: Gordon Wilson, Michel Maury, Dave Rade71: Trevor Vaughan, Doug Ross, Dave Smith74: Peter Sulley, Alan Smith, Fred Garrett

JUNE

24th. Kleinmond4-ball Alliance

87 Art Rae (guest), Ian Newman, John Tunstall, Koos Roelofse (guest)86 Andre Franken, Sam Seal, Vic Van der Westhuizen, Gary Wentzel85 Richard Ridge, Michel Maury, Hugh Frangs, George Sauerman (guest)83 Jon Forsyth, David Rade, Alan Smith, Peter Sulley83 Gordon Wilson, Peter Theron, Trevor Vaughan, Doug Ross.

17th. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (3 clubs + putter)

37 Jon Forsyth; 35 Ian Newman, Andre Franken; 34 Alan Smith; 33 Peter Theron; 31 Gordon Wilson, Vic Van der Westhuizen; 30 Sam Seal; 29 Peter Sulley, Richard Ridge, David Rade; 25 Hugh Frangs, Trevor Vaughan; 22 Art Rae (guest); 19 Gary Wentzel; 7 Keith Gillott


Conditions were perfect on Tuesday but the scoring defied explanation. The main suggestion for the poor scores was that the pack was suffering from collective anxiety. DOGSbody is off overseas for a couple of weeks. How will Deputy DOG cope? And will the leader of the pack be allowed back with the new Home Affairs draconian (and cash-generating) regulations?The Ex-Pole-Dancer was so anxious he was constantly lifting his head to see what was going on around him which may be another explanation for his low, but winning, score.

The Yorkshire Ripper was anxious when he shot a hole-in-one on the par 5 8 th. but, as the hole in question was a drainage pipe, there was no need to call ADT to fetch his wallet.

34 Andre Franken; 33 Jon Forsyth, Trevor Vaughan, Ian Newman; 31 Alan Smith; 30 Dave Smith, Richard Ridge, Fred Garrett; 29 Peter Sulley; 28 Gordon Wilson; 24 Peter Theron, Dave Rade; 23 Pat Dewil; 22 Mike Graham, Michel Maury; 21 Robin Clacher (guest); 19 Gary Wentzel; 12 Keith Gillott

3rd. ArabellaIndividual Stableford (Log)

It was familarity which won the day at Arabella as Twitcher Graham on his home track pipped guest John on the back six. As the wind got tougher the tough got windier and a number of promising scores were destroyed after the turn. Well, it could have been the wind or possibly the price of the toasted sandwiches.Several players got the wind up waiting in the bar to see if anyone would score less than them but it was the man whose surname no one can remember who finally saved a few blushes.

34 Mike Graham, John Reynell (guest); 30 Quentin Mitchell, Andre Hattingh, Hugh Frangs; 29 Jon Forsyth, Andre Franken; 28 Mannes van Zyl, Peter Sulley; 26 Michel Maury, Doug Ross; 25 Gordon Wilson; 24 Morgan O’Kennedy; 23 Dave Smith, Sam Seal; 22 Peter Thomas, George Dods (guest); 21 Peter Theron; 19 Pat Dewil; 18 Marc de Maudave Bestel

MAY


Sporran MacCalder jetted in especially from Canada to take on Laser Smith and the Naked Chef in a 3-way battle of the bruisers. When it came to the count though, jet-lag took its toll on him after 12. The Naked Chef had already over-cooked it after 9 and it was Laser who took the title.Other scores were less impressive despite perfect golfing conditions and nobody else managed to beat their handicap. There were some suspicious missed putts and fluffed chips from a number of log high-flyers – end-of-month syndrome?In particular, another well-known Celt fared particularly badly and the Ex-Pole-Dancer was surprisingly chirpy.

39 Alan Smith, Alan Calder, Gordon Wilson; 34 Fred Garrett, Peter Sulley; 33 Dave Smith; 32 Vic vd Westhuizen; 31 Andre Franken, Mannes van Zyl; 30

Trevor Vaughan; 29 Jon Forsyth, Ian Newman; 28 Michel Maury; 27 Hugh Frangs; 26 Dave Rade; 25 Alistair (guest), Peter Thomas; 24 Pat Dewil, Doug Ross; 19 Keith Gillott


The Dogs were privileged (some say forced) to play off the spectacular elevated tee on the 12th. and, as they admired the stunning view, the hills were alive with the sound of wheezing and gasping for air.For some, it was one of their favourite things but Braveheart, Hugh and The Naked Chef fell into the von Trapp of not checking the tee markers.The Man of Many Faces climbed every mountain to finish at the top way out on his own like a lonely goatherd – another of his costumes.Laser lost his sunglasses only to recover them soon after on his nose – Doh oh dear!And how do you solve a problem like the Ripper?

41 Mannes van Zyl; 38 Pat Dewil; 37 Peter Theron; 36 Art Rae (guest); 35 Doug Ross, Alan Smith, Dave Smith; 33 Jon Forsyth, Fred Garrett; 32 Morgan O’Kennedy, Gordon Wilson, Hugh Frangs; 31 Andre Franken; 30 Mike Graham; 29 Michel Maury, Ian Newman; 28 Dave Rade; 27 Peter Thomas; 24 Sam Seal; 23 Trevor Vaughan (guest); 21 Robin Clacher (guest); 11 Keith Gillott


Half-time Shirley fought a nail-biting duel with one of the Swampland Bandits of the Bot River Wetlands only to be beaten to the draw when he ran out of bullets on the last 6.The Smith Brothers backed him up with some accurate shooting but it wasn’t good enough to see off the intruder.Sheriff van Zyl didn’t quite live up to his new Butch image and the Ripper had no cause to Sundance.

42 Trevor Vaughan (guest), Peter Sulley; 38 Dave Smith, Alan Smith; 36 Ian Newman; 35 Peter Theron, Mannes van Zyl; 34 Jon Forsyth, Michel Maury; 33 Gordon Wilson; 32 Dave Rade; 31 Doug Ross, Peter Thomas, Mike Graham; 29 Morgan O’Kennedy, Pat Dewil; 27 Art Rae (guest); 23 Robin Clacher (guest); 20 Keith Gillott


There was a relatively low turnout at TWK Municipality this week as a number of those registered were unable to make their marks due to illness.Some of the old established parties (A Naked Chef and I Felloff Pole) slipped down the ratings as Agang of newcomers took the top spots. Everyone’s Favourite Frenchman and his Diminutive Associate performed well in joint second place.Others at the lower end of the results could not Cope with the conditions and The Yorkshire Ripper spoiled his paper. 35 Morgan O’Kennedy (guest); 34 Brian Taylor (guest), Michel Maury, Hugh Frangs; 33 Jon Forsyth, Dave Smith; 31 Peter Thomas; 30 Gordon Wilson; 28 Andre Franken, Peter Theron, Sam Seal; 26 John Tunstall, Mannes van Zyl; 25 John Cheesbrough; 24 Mike Graham; 23 Vic vd Westhuizen; 21 Keith Gillott

APRIL


The DOGS braved the weather forecast on Tuesday and almost got away with it. There were just a couple of showers during the back nine which made it even more surprising that Half-time Shirley made it all the way to 18. Perhaps his winning score of 42 had something to do with it.Scores in general were high, helped by a couple of obscene 5-pointers from Up-and-Under and the Ex-Pole-Dancer.The only other obscenities came from The Naked Chef following yet another duck hook.

42 Peter Sulley; 41 Richard Ridge; 39 Geoff Crowther; 37 Jon Forsyth; 34 Fred Garrett, Tony Hackett; 33 John Cheesbrough, Gordon Wilson, Hugh Frangs, Gary Wentzel, Michel, Maury; 32 Mike Graham, Dave Rade, Andre Franken; 31 Alan Smith; 30 Dave Smith; 29 Ian Newman; 27 Peter Thomas, Peter Theron; 24 Pat Dewil, Vic vd Westhuizen; 17 Keith Gillott

22nd. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

After years of trying, Morse finally solved the case of the missing hot dog following a nail-biting encounter with Countback Forsyth. Countback has now been counted out more times than a boxer with one arm.At the other end, Cruise Thomas saved the blushes of one who is more used to being at the top of the pole.

41 Dave Brittain, Jon Forsyth; 40 Richard Ridge, Chris Martin; 38 Gordon Wilson; 34 Peter Sulley, John Cheesbrough, Ian Newman; 33 David Naylor, Gary

Wentzel; 30 Tony Hackett; 28 Geoff Crowther; 27 Sam Seal; 26 Peter Theron; 24 Andre Franken, Dave Smith, Hugh Frangs; 23 Peter Thomas


The DOGS said a sad, collective goodbye to “M” on Tuesday. RIP and “Howay the Lads”.On the golfing front, the Ex-Poledancer did it yet again and further increased his lead at the top of the log. The Currie Cup, though, is not won in April and there is still time for him to fall off his pole.For those who missed the announcements from the post-match interviews (and later repeated on CNN, BBC, Sky, ENCA and Al Jazeera) DOGSbody was on the 18th. in 2, thus achieving a lifetime achievement award and a subsequent “4 for 4”.

41 Andre Franken; 39 Chris Martin; 37 John Cheesbrough; 35 Gordon Wilson, Jon Forsyth; 34 David Naylor; 33 Tony Hackett, Peter Sulley, Peter Thomas; 31 Hugh Frangs, Peter Theron, Mannes van Zyl; 30 Andre Hattingh, Richard Ridge; 29 Sam Seal; 28 Dave Smith, Pat Dewil, John Tunstall; 27 Geoff Crowther, Alan Smith, Ian Newman; 25 Dave Brittain; 23 Gary Wentzel


It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day that reminded one of wuthering on the heights of the Yorkshire moors. Indeed, you could almost hear the church bells of Halifax ringing out in celebration as the town’s favourite son pulled it off for the second time this year. Regrettably, the wine he won was not up to his exacting standards and so he left it behind only to be pounced upon by those less choosey and more thirsty.Injury struck at the other end yet again as Coldplay had a spasm leaving a more sober Cruiser to take the lesser honours.

41 David Naylor; 38 John Cheesbrough, Jon Forsyth, Tony Hackett; 35 Malcolm Lazenby, Michel Maury, Tony Wreglesworth; 34 Dave Brittain; 33 Alan Smith, Andre Franken; 31 Peter Sulley; 30 Gordon Wilson; 28 Dave Smith, John Tunstall, Dave Rade; 27 Hugh Frangs, Ian Newman; 24 Gary Wentzel; 23 Alan Calder, Arne Andersen; 21 Peter Thomas; 13 Chris Martin (DNF)

1st. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

April 1st. and some thought the DOGS were fools to venture out on to the course. Luckily, the rains stopped and the game was largely dry if a little windy. The post-match was, as usual, not at all dry and very windy.

Smooth Swinger Wreglesworth was no fool as he swung to an impressive 40 points. Smooth has one of the best addresses of the group but it is withheld to protect his privacy.Cruiser Thomas, having been let off his leash for a couple of weeks, foolishly overdid things the previous night and had to stop after 9 for “medical” reasons. He left the door open for Pat of the Bushveld to be made a fool of.

40 Tony Wreglesworth; 36 Mannes van Zyl; 34 Andre Franken; 33 Jon Forsyth, Richard Ridge; 32 Ian Newman, Mike Graham, Tony Hackett; 31 Dave Rade, Malcolm Lazenby; 29 Arne Andersen; 28 Gary Wentzel, Vic vd Westhuizen; 26 Dave Smith, David Naylor; 25 Brian Oosthuizen, Hugh Frangs, Alan Calder, Dave Brittain; 22 Sam Seal; 19 Keagan Seal (guest), Corrie (guest); 17 Pat Dewil; 9 Peter Thomas (DNF)

MARCH

25th. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

The golfing weather gods provided a perfect window of opportunity as the rains stopped right on schedule at 08:00. Luckily the window was wide and panoramic enough to allow the early finishers to deplete the bar stocks while waiting for the rest of the field apparently to complete all of Hermanus’ 27 holes.For serial-winner the Ex-Pole-Dancer, the window allowed in enough light for him to see that even lowering his standards to produce a mere 37 points can sometimes be enough.Up-and-under Crowther couldn’t figure out how to open the blinds.

37 Andre Franken; 35 David Naylor; 34 Jon Forsyth, Gordon Wilson; 32 Pat Dewil; 31 Dave Smith, Mannes van Zyl, Brendan Byrne, Dave Rade, Sam Seal; 30 Fred Garrett; 28 John Cheesbrough, Mike Graham; 27 Tony Hackett, Alan Calder; 26 Alan Smith; 24 John Tunstall; 22 Gary Wentzel; 21 Doug Ross; 19 Peter Thomas; 18 Geoff Crowther


There were some high scores on Tuesday but Dogsbody thought he was SAFE in the clubhouse on 40 points in his QEST for a trophy. He was stunned though by Mr. Security who responded armed with a 44.Cruiser Thomas knew he was in for a bad day when he lost a ball on the practice putting green. Cries of “avast behind” greeted his head first search in the bushes. His further blushes were just spared by the unexpected return of Hanging Judge Robinson who had been given a week’s reprieve before his return to UK justice.

44 John Tunstall; 40 Dave Smith; 39 Mannes van Zyl; 38 Jon Forsyth, Gordon Wilson, Alan Smith, Andre Franken; 37 Tony Hackett; 32 Chris Martin, Doug Ross; 31 John Horobin, Ian Newman; 29 John Cheesbrough, Malcolm Lazenby; 28 Dave Rade; 27 Louwtjie Kruger; 26 David Naylor, Brendan Byrne; 20 Peter Thomas; 18 Dave Robinson


Golf can be a repetitive game: follow your pre-shot routine; concentrate on a few swing thoughts; let your muscle memory do its job; pick the ball out of the sloot and drop for a penalty stroke.The swallows start to fly away at the same time each year and even the results and reports can sometimes get boring with the same old winners and the same old losers.So just for a change: The Star of David twinkled in second place, Coldplay Martin was a cool joint 8th., and Mr Hacker failed to live up to his name. 39 Andre Franken; 37 Dave Rade; 36 Doug Ross, Ian Newman, Brendan Byrne, Fred Garrett; 35 David Naylor; 34 John Horobin, Chris Martin, Bob Barton; 33 Jon Forsyth, Peter Theron, Dave Smith, Tony Hackett; 32 Tony Jones, Alan Calder, John Tunstall; 30 Malcolm Lazenby; 29 Sam Seal; 28 Peter Sulley, Mike Graham; 26 Gordon Wilson; 23 Peter Thomas; 17 Dave Robinson


Having been at Sahara Park on Monday and despite problems with his short fine legs and googlies, Mr. Halifax held his end up creditably for his maiden victory of the season.The track was in very good condition and scores in general were surprisingly low. Putts were dropped as rarely as Aussie catches and heads went down as often as Protea wickets.The Ripper was stumped after a particularly nasty Yorker and has announced his retirement from the international game.

38 David Naylor; 37 Andre Franken; 35 Doug Ross, Tony Wreglesworth; 32 Bob Barton, Alan Smith, Chris van Zyl; 30 Tony Jones; 29 Peter Thomas, Gordon Wilson, Brendan Byrne; 27 Dave Rade, John Tunstall, Alan Calder; 26 Tony Hackett, Dave Smith, Hugh Frangs, Jon Forsyth; 25 Malcolm Lazenby; 24 Geoff Crowther; 22 John Cheesbrough; 18 Dave Robinson; 11 Keith Gillott; DNF: Mannes van Zyl

FEBRUARY


The Ex-Pole-Dancer thought that with 42 points his only worry was arch-rival The Ex-Used-House-Salesman. When the latter came in seeing that he again would be the bridesmaid and not the bride, EPD sat smugly awaiting his prize.But then Jones the Veg came over the horizon to prove that “5 portions a day” refers to sprouts and not Olaf or Cane.To add insult to injury, the Veg was not cut but the other 2 were.SAGA certainly moves in a mysterious way!

43 Tony Jones; 42 Andre Franken; 41 Ian Newman; 39 Mannes van Zyl; 38 Bob Barton, Doug Ross; 34 John Cheesbrough, Fred Garrett; 33 Alan Smith, Dave Rade, Malcolm Lazenby; 32 Peter Theron, Brendan Byrne, John Tunstall; 31 Dave Brittain, Dave Smith, David Naylor; 30 Jon Forsyth, Chris Martin; 29 Tony Hackett; 27 Hugh Frangs; 26 Gordon Wilson, Michel Maury (DNF); 24 Geoff Crowther; 21 Peter Sulley; 12 Dave Robinson; 11 Keith Gillott


It was a proud day for the white rose of Yorkshire on Tuesday as Tyke Welton scored his maiden victory with a particularly exceptional back nine.At the other end, The Yorkshire Ripper just outplayed Rookie Robinson to avoid last place. Robinson, of course was born in Yorkshire but saw the light and crossed the Pennines.The Ex-Used-House-Salesman’s sense of humour failure at being pipped at the post for the second week running at least gave everyone else a laugh.

46 Rob Welton; 44 Ian Newman; 40 Chris Martin; 38 Jon Forsyth; 37 John Tunstall, Andre Franken; 36 Alan Smith, Tony Hackett; 34 Peter Sulley, Tony Wreglesworth, Gordon Wilson; 33 John Cheesbrough, Dave Smith, Mannes van Zyl; 32 Mike Graham, John Flynn (guest), Bob Barton, Dave Brittain, Brendan Byrne; 31 Dave Rade, Malcolm Lazenby, Tony Jones; 30 John Horobin; 29 Hugh Frangs, Alan Calder, Sam Seal; 28 Vic vd Westhuizen; 26 David Naylor; 24 Geoff Crowther; 22 Cres Creswell (guest); 13 Keith Gillott; 12 Dave Robinson


On Tuesday the DOGS were honoured to experience an outstanding display of golfing prowess causing them to scour their annals for similar examples.His drives drove, his approaches approached, his pitches pitched and his putts, rather spoiling the word games, dropped.Playing partners were effusive: “A pleasure to watch”; “a privilege to be a part of”; ”a superb performance”.

Yes, Rookie Robinson quadrupled his previous week’s score!(And, by the way, The Ex-Pole-Dancer won with a 77 gross).

47 Andre Franken; 39 Ian Newman; 38 David Naylor; 37 Hugh Frangs, Richard Ridge; 36 Alan Smith, Bob Barton, Dave Brittain; 35 Malcolm Lazenby, Mannes van Zyl; 34 Tony Hackett, Doug Ross; 33 Dave Rade; 32 Jon Forsyth; 31 Rob Welton; 30 Dave Smith, Peter Theron, Tony Wreglesworth, Vic vd Westhuizen; 29 Peter Sulley; 28 Sam Seal, Peter (guest); 27 Gordon Wilson, Tony Jones, Mike Graham; 25 Brian (guest); 24 Keith Gillott; 22 John Horobin; 21 Derek (guest); 8 Dave Robinson

4th. HermanusIndividual Stableford (Log)

It was another day of contrasts as the DOGS went for walkies on the fairways of Hermanus.Half-time Shirley took full advantage of playing at home to lead the pack with points to spare. Sporran MacCalder withdrew with a sprained back after his wife has apparently asked him to take his wallet out.Bringing up the rear, a DOG who is so new that he has neither handicap nor nickname demonstrated that his lessons, practice and enthusiasm are not yet showing through in his scores. A number of DOGS are subsidising his subscriptions and alcohol consumption until such time as this happens.

41 Peter Sulley; 39 Jon Forsyth; 38 Andre Franken; 37 Dave Rade; 35 Mike Graham, Gordon Wilson, Mannes van Zyl; 33 Michel Maury, Doug Ross; 31 Bob Barton, Dave Smith, Tony Hackett, Sam Seal, Geoff Crowther; 30 Richard Ridge, Tony Wreglesworth, Brendan Byrne; 29 Fred Garrett, Alan Smith, John Tunstall; 28 Dave Brittain, David Naylor; 25 Peter Theron; 22 Tony Jones, Jason Welton (guest); 2 Dave Robinson

JANUARY


Enzo did his usual early season sprint for the finish line on Tuesday, leaving himself low on gas for the next 40 laps.Below him, there was an enormous spread of 29 points down to last place. This was unusual enough to suggest that the DOGS might be taking tips from bowlers from the Indian sub-continent.There were some suspiciously poor performances especially from The Yorkshire Ripper, The Sporting Cock, Howay the Lads, Inspector Morse and a couple of strange faces. Have the DOGS really been nobbled by the bookies?

40 Mannes van Zyl; 38 Ian Newman, Pat Dewil; 37 Tony Jones, Andre Franken, Alan Smith; 36 Jon Forsyth, Richard Ridge; 35 Rob Welton; 34 Bob Barton, Geoff Crowther; 33 Hugh Frangs, Brendan Byrne; 32 Chris van Zyl (guest), Tony Hackett; 31 Gordon Wilson; 30 Doug Ross, John Tunstall; 29 Dave Rade, Peter Sulley, Vic vd Westhuizen; 28 Peter Theron; 27 Dave Smith, David Naylor; 26 Tony Wreglesworth; 25 Dave Brittain; 24 Jason Welton (guest); 22 Malcolm Lazenby; 16 Michel Maury; 14 Dave Robinson (guest); 11 Keith Gillott

21st. KleinmondIndividual Stableford (Log)

40 Peter Theron; 38 Ian Newman; 34 Bob Barton, Alan Calder; 33 Jon Forsyth, Andre Franken; 32 Sam Seal; 31 John Horobin, Peter Sulley, Gordon Wilson; 30 Tony Jones; 29 Alan Smith, Malcolm Lazenby; 28 Richard Ridge, David Naylor, Doug Ross; 27 Vic Van der Westhuizen; 26 Tony Hackett; 25 Hugh Frangs; 24 Pat Dewil, Dave Brittain; 22 Geoff Crowther; 17 Keith Gillott, Peter Thomas


39 Louwtjie Kruger, Jon Forsyth; 38 Peter Theron; 36 Hugh Frangs, David Naylor; 35 Dave Brittain; 34 Michel Maury; 33 Arne Andersen, Peter Sulley, Andre Franken; 31 John Horobin, Sam Seal, Mannes Van Zyl; 30 Ian Newman, Tony Jones, John Tunstall; 29 Pat Dewil, Tony Hackett, Geoff Crowther, Altus (guest); 26 David Rade, Gordon Wilson; 24 Peter Thomas, Vic Van der Westhuizen; 23 Gary Wentzel; 22 Keith Gillott.

20th - Web viewThe Rest of the World team left Kleinmond with their tails between their legs...

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