2007 The Art Crunch

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    BEFORE THE MONEY

    RAN OUT

    MOOGEES CARTOON CRITICISM 2007

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    Shaun Belcher / Red Herring 2010

    THIS SELECTION IS OF CARTOONS FOR AN ARTS HUB COLUMN I WROTE IN 2007

    ALONG WITH SOME OF THE MORE CHOICE RANTS OF THAT YEAR.....BEFORE

    THE CREDIT CRUNCH DESTROYED IT ALL...TRAVEL BACK TO THE LOOPY LAND

    OF ARTS COUNCIL PLENTY...WE SHALL NEVER SEE ITS LIKE AGAIN..WONDER

    AT THE CONCEPTUAL LADY, THE HILL OF MONEY AND THE GOLDEN PALACE OF

    DREAMS...ROLL UP MY FRIENDS ..ROLL UP...

    NEVER FUNDED

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    November 2007

    CREATIVE NOTTINGHAM ISKILLING ME...

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    I came to Nottingham in summer 2002. Even then the cultural map was fairly exact. All creative nances trickle down from EMDA /

    ESF funding through the gatekeepers of Broadway, City Council, University, Regeneration Quangos etc etc. There are cultural geo-

    graphical reasons for this. Broadway is a child of the original artistic groups in Nottingham and beneciary of the goodwill and undoubt-

    ed good work those original agencies established including Co-Operative Education, Nottingham Film Society, City Lights Cinema

    and, in 1982, the Broadway Cinema. The new 5 Million pound rebuild is a long way from the original Weslyan Chapel that housed it.

    Alongside the mythical playhouse and Midland Group agencies Broadway is the third pillar of the creative Nottingham so beloved of

    administrators and funders.

    Now though the goalposts have shifted and the funders badges have quadrupled as EEC funding though ESF and regional regenera-

    tion partnerships have entered the scenario. What we are left with is not one but two contrasting and competing edices of cutting-

    edge culture from 2008 onwards. Broadway draws on a great deal of Trent University art and design experiencee.g. Nottingham

    Creative Networks and new Digital Arts development whilst the new CCAN gallery is allied with the Nottingham University Art History

    Department ( who already inuence the Djanogly Arts Centrebasically a University showcase with a public remit).

    With all this activity how does the non-aligned artist hope to prosper? Well basically one does not. In the gap between these two

    alumni driven institutions is a large grey area from left lion to artists lead initiatives, to community arts organisations who try to pick up

    the scraps of funding left and compete with each other in equal measure. Most fail or scrape along.

    For many artists the ring-fenced digital cliques are not available and consequently the access to equipment. It will be interesting to see

    how the projected New Art Exchange fares nancially or whether it becomes stuck between a rock (CCAN) and a hard place (Broad-

    way) in the tightening funding scenario on offer. Most Local Authority funding will deplete in next few years as council tax increases

    and funding cuts bite. The Arts Council package recently revealed will simply keep things as they are now(post the April 2007) cuts for

    which most commentators are extremely thankful.

    What bothers myself and many another mid career artist of whatever persuasion is that outside the high prole digital initiatives there

    is virtually no exhibition space available and little audience prepared to purchase artifacts. A recent open studios showed the lack of

    interest in the large and talented range of artists that through cheaper rents can afford to produce work in this city. We face an over-

    supply of artwork and an under-supply of audiences.

    One of the rst initiatives to break this digital / analogue divide and by analogue I refer to messy real artifacts in whatever medium..

    paint, silver, plasticis the following

    Broadway have instituted a digital advert scheme to enable local producers of all persuasions to get their messy real objects and prac-

    tice in front of the great and the good at Broadway. All well and good but once again there a few stones blocking this new channel.

    Most non-digital artists do not have the resources or the the ability to create their own advertising slots. Far better would have been an

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    attempt to utilise the skills of the digerati to make adverts for fellow non-digital artisans. If half the money spent on recent creative elite

    shindigs such as unleashed ( the creative elite are a self -dening group) was instead spread more evenly across the makers instead of

    the supposed shakers there would be more sense of a genuine creative network instead of the marketing slogans and opportunities thus

    far foisted on the people of Nottingham.

    Making adverts may start to address the digital divides but it only addresses a small part of the problem. With an increasingly digital-

    born and bred clientelle there needs to be education too to enable the computer obsessed, facebook generation to actually see anything

    produced by other means. Broadway is a valuable showcase but where is the showcase for the non-digital? Suggestions on a postcard

    pleaseand anybody suggesting local artists will be lling the new Nottingham Contemporary can be classed with those who believe

    the earth still at and tinfoil stops alien abductionor are we all to be pleasantly surprised? Time will tell

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    November 2007

    The New

    Victorians

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    Dear Gentle Reader

    It may have come to your attention that I have been less than impressed with what the Arts Council, Academia and artists in general

    have come up with in the years that I took a Rumpelstiltskin-like snooze from the Contemporary Art scene. Id say my detour down the

    highways and byways of literature and music coincided with my moving to Edinburgh in 1993 coincidentally just as the BRIT ART boom

    kicked in on the paved with gold streets of London (how many Brit Artists are actually from outside London is a sore point the further

    North one travels).

    Now there are many in Nottingham and further abroad who will not like the tone nor the content of the following piece but that hardly my

    concern. I have watched the efforts of the good and great of this city to rebrand hype and generally convince themselves and others

    that there some kind of art boom happening here. This has been co-ordinated and reached its culmination in the frankly damp squib Brit

    Art Show of 2006. My contentions then were expressed in a piece written for The Nottingham Evening Post but declined by that august

    journal as being a little too off message for a city still hurting from the binge-drink and suicide art fest the local and national press had

    visited upon us. For peoples information I and many others feel far safer in Nottingham than we ever did in parts of London like Harles-

    den where I once resided. Nottingham was unfairly slated and I do not want to add to the harbingers of gloom there. However hand

    in hand with this there seemed to be a blind devotion, especially amongst those parties with most to gain, to talk up our wonderful art

    scene.

    That the majority of people with most to lose were middle-class arts administrators and community arts people was not lost on myself or

    a good many others. The actual artists remain the most unrewarded and badly treated group in amongst all these parades or as I be-

    lieve better titled bread and circuses of recent times. A year on and because of the double blow of central government arts funding cuts

    to pay for the Olympics and more local housekeeping - i.e. if you want a shiny new arts venue (CCAN) you have to lose your only two

    signicant contemporary arts venues in the meantime. Costing approx 13 million quids it seems pretty good value seeing as my little old

    hometown of Didcot in Oxfordshire is spending 7 million on a simple arts centre. Suddenly cutting edge and feted architect for 15 million

    plus (it always goes up) seems a bargain..shame most of it will be hidden under a hill then

    for full bill see arts council document

    A year on and those who gained most from the Brit Art show have either moved on or are busy re-casting their Arts Council evaluation

    forms to convince their patrons of the whole shebangs worth. Major art events have always been a stepping-stone for the sharp-eyed

    arts administrator to progress which usually means taking what they can and getting the hell out later. For those who want to criticise

    this contention Id point to stints at Festival Hall London and watching Southern Arts in Oxfordshire as proof of this in the past. One poor

    old helper in my little old home town (now site of that brand new arts centre I mentioned) was moved to brand this activity arts empire-

    building. Nothing is ever likely to change there especially with less pots of gold to administrate. My point is not that this practice harms

    the local art economy but that generally it hardly ever touches the life and soul of our poor local artist. For him or her life remained pretty

    similar i.e. plenty of cheap factory space to practice in but nowhere to actually sell or exhibit.

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    Nottingham is blessed with a thriving creative industy apparently and indeed there is a plethora of studios and artists all beavering away

    courtesy of a depressed property market and a manufacturing industry which collapsing and providing new spaces every week. With all

    this cheap space one of the overwhelming achievements of the East Midlands Arts Council has been to never furnish artists with a de-

    cent exhibiting space (Angel Rows Parade was too little too late) which would have come at little cost if commenced years ago. Instead

    noble projects like the Oldknows Gallery (closed 1995) were let go and funding when it did return in the golden shower of the lottery

    was diverted to those most savvy at form-lling and buttering up or bamboozling their ACE ofcer with artspeak ( for general public this

    is known as bullshit). Instead of a vital and artist-led space we got a hundred projects ranging from the blindingly dull and stupid to thequite good. The artists talents were immaterial as tickboxing ensured target audiences and other such claptrap obscured whether any of

    this was actually any good at all. The same can be said of the arts demon twin community arts. The number of hoodies and alcoholics

    saved by t-shirt printing and rapping would, if you believed art council evaluation forms, mean that there were no social problems left in

    the city at all such has been there impact. As Jonathan Meades pointed out recently in his T.V. series no amount of juggling and street

    theatre ever stopped people drinking themselves to death or pissing in their estate stairwells.

    One of the great lies of the whole community arts industry is just this. I salute Gordon Brown for axing the golden eggs for some of

    these organisations which were no more than scam machines that bled European funding directly into the pockets of well off mid-

    dle class administrators and managers without ever touching the lives of the people it supposedly was meant to change. It smacks of

    the Victorian do-gooding and temperance societies with no amount of evangelical artists armed with knitting machines, paper machemasks and digital cameras saving peoples souls. The importance of this industry was not its outcomes at all but was how extremely

    good it was at papering over the social ills that still affect us and keeping a good part of the chattering classes quiet or at least funding

    their sons and daughters whilst Blairism privatised national assets and participated in doubtful wars. It is not coincidental that the more

    frugal Brown hit the ACE bill rst..even before stepping into power. As Blair stood in a gallery and boasted of funding the arts in a typi-

    cal piece of doublethink to caress his bruised ego over Iraq those who were in the know could see the cuts coming.

    So what are we left with post-Blair, post-funding ( these measures may get worse if spiralling costs for the 2012 Olympics take hold

    as they surely will?) Do we knuckle down and celebrate our thriving international art scene and join in with the ironic national debate

    on funding and the Arts Council just as they debilitate most of its funding? Of course we do - those artists still operating in a nancially

    restricted climate are more circumspect than ever at speaking out in case they lose what little nectar left in the ACE ower for the little

    hummingbirds beaks.

    What artists are loathe to do (having forgotten how to) is join togther and use that reduced budget wisely and for the common good.

    After twenty years of competitive arts council funding applications where one group was set against the other collective action in art cir-

    cles has become a dirty word. This has lead to some of the less scrupulous artists grabbing as much funding as they could by constant

    reinvention and form-watching and some of these even attained a certain glamour for their ability to do so. When art students leaving

    college are impressed by such activities and are not even considering the trivial and amateurish nature of what that money used to fund

    we are in a bad place. Thankfully as real-world economics and the pot of gold at the end of the overseas student rainbow diminish even

    the Academic world is coming to its senses.

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    In this environment where ACE funding reduced and its laughable hands-off democratic policy re. artistic merit is exposed for what it

    truly is i.e. a means to reward those most able ( pace the middle class on hospital services, property and just about everything else) to

    access that funding then maybe artistic meritocracy might actually be reborn.

    Casual feminists and those with hands on tiller of power will argue that any notion of elitism (their words not mine) or artistic standardssmacks of a paternalistic and Oxbridge dominated art world of yore. Well yes it was just such types that invented the Arts Council. I think

    more sense could be got out of that old groupRaymond Williams, F.R. Leavis and Philip Larkin for instance ( yes all men but Im sure

    there a A.S.Byatt for every John Carey there too) instead of the pc focus groups and research students who will lead the forthcoming

    debate in London. A debate further more that only those able to attend two nights in London and pay fares down can attend ( refer to the

    Brit Art comment and the north above..plus ca change) of course even here Orwellian doublespeak is at play as some invited attendees

    will indeed be paid to attend. Every one is equal but not that equal then..

    To me the whole debate is irrelevant for the real power is in the former chancellors hands and thrifty as he is when he notices that noth-

    ing appreciable happens to the great and good of this island without funding and indeed he may never return that largesse to its former

    proportions. A damn good thing too in my opinion. A conservative estimate of 6 billion pounds was distributed by the Arts Council in thelast ten years (if somebody has actual gure Id be pleased to alter it). If that money had ben invested in the NATIONAL health service

    not PFIs with lovely batik and textile strewn corridors, if that money had been directed to skilling large swathes of under-employed work-

    ing class male youths instead of frittered away on self-aggrandising art schemes then maybe the country would be in even better shape

    than it was twenty years ago. My father was a lowly builder but a keen observer and he noted how many people on his daily travels were

    sat in warm ofces administrating things whilst there fewer and fewer skilled labourers to do the basic jobs like sewer maintenance and

    cable-laying.those jobs now done by imported (legal or illegal) labour. As the middle-classes bathed in the Blairite benets be it PFI

    management blowouts or arts council jollies abroad the working class slipped lower down the economic food table to the point where

    some actually fell below the table-top.

    I have no time for the apologists of the Blairite regime they have done very well from those years and with escalating property priceshave never been better off. The net effect of this has been a ghettoisation of our cities where these people have walled themselves into

    whites-only comfortable estates whilst the restblack, asian, bottom rung whites are left to ounder. Signicantly it just these groups

    that no longer represented at the educational establishments. Grant cuts (thanks Tony) and failed schooling have meant that many of the

    groups I and a lot of my fellow students in early 1980s came from - white working class and ethnic minorities - simply have no chance of

    getting to university. This has reinforced the class divide and barring the occasional very gifted student (Hirst and Emin take a bow) this

    cultural apartheid has got worse.

    The majority of arts graduates ( have a look at facebook for a snapshot) are now white middle-class and/or new rich and female. This has

    had a major impact on arts administration posts (Arts Council but one amongst many) and the kind of people who can become artists.

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    Social groups bind like to like so the more middle class women become curators and even those not enthused by self-ghteous femi-

    nist idealism will be default tend to employ, showand yes debate with like minds and social group members. Perhaps the Arts Council

    should do a survey of class background instead of tickboxing ethnicity and sexual orientation. Because this process is well advanced and

    even the most ill-equiped have used it to progress up the academic ladder it will be a major problem to try and put right this nepotistic

    and classist impulse in the arts.

    Artists and cultural producers are notoriously opinionated that their ways right and can manufacture quite successful in-groups thatexclude others. Sometimes language and background are signiers that lead to this exclusion before a picture painted or a book written.

    Good people have worked hard to stop this but it still exists as long as we live in a class-based culture which we do. Sorry Tony your only

    revolution was to replace one elite with another looking and speaking the same. In other words there was no New Labour revolution at

    all. In fact this chimes perfectly with the Saatchi driven Brit Art revolution which also was not New or British or particularly revolutionary

    unless being beholden to a full-on capitalist advertising executive who good friends with that old Queen of Art funding Margaret Thatcher

    was what left-leaning artists had dreamt of all along. Funny how a wad of cash can silence the most political of artists when they see the

    palm crossed with silver. Bell and Langland.socialism is only skin-deep then..

    Brit-Art, Lottery funding, Hubs of excellencethe hype merchants can spin most of the last ten years into a veritable art banquet. Nothing

    could ever dent this facade of artistic wellbeing could it? That is one version.

    My version is slightly more jaundiced and maybe the truth somewhere in between. What is true is the arts schools facing a funding crisis,

    artists ..community or otherwise (those who lucky to have cadged any that is) are facing a funding crisis. Here in Nottingham we have a

    rather splendid council who funding not one but two major art galleries with the noble intention (as revealed by new manager Alex Far-

    quharson) of creating a regeneration alley through a moribund city and promoting shoppingI kid you not we were all sold a pup it isnt

    about art at allso blockbusters it will be and lots of London advertising to draw social groups A & B here to shed lots of cash on our

    poor huddled masses. One could truly not make it upwhen did digital installations and site-specic projections become the genera-

    tors of high class shopping experiences I wonder.or maybe they were all along and those of us who thought art meant something and

    had intrinisic value were just deluded. On a side-note the advetising for CCAN awarded to Fresh Communications ( see the news docu-ment credit) who proudly re-launched Paddy Power recently.seriously..it all ts.

    Last years mighty Underscan op was just paving the way. no pun intended our lucky Mexican-Canadian artist pocketed over

    100,000 for showing pictures on the pavement which but a small part of the consultants fees for setting it up).Little did those leery

    chavs pissed up on white stripe on their way home realise that the projections they vomited and pissed in on the way home were not art

    but forerunners of this years talking surveilance cameras and 500 nes for dropping a cigarette. Art as social control and intrusion and

    cutting edge technology ..the boundaries of where artwork stop and social engineering start have been blurredthose lacklustre commu-

    nity artists trying to stop some poor begger pissing his life way were just the forerunners after all of something far more sinister. It is not

    such a giant leap from potato prints and gratti murals to directed employment and state surveilance after all.is it.

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    Meanwhile those artists stupid enough to plow on with redundant technology like pencil, paint and brush can have no part in the brave

    new world of spectacle and circus. As long as it cleans up our city centre and pushes the human trash out of sight it worth backing.it

    must be the consultants told us it was for the best and no-one argues with a consultant.

    In Apocalypse Now there a famous scene where the Marines shoot up a civilian boat. then medics go in to repair the damage. Its de-

    scribed as machine-gunning a people in half then administering a band aid. That in my opinion is what new developments in Notting-ham will do to its art scene, and I not alone, when CCAN and Art Exchange are nished the same able few will coin their shining coins

    and the rest will be given band aids. It is a salutory lesson in misguided interventionism. Everybody has right intentions. Ask Tony..he had

    more than most.

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    Arts Hub Column

    June 2007

    Dog Bites Man

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    In a reversal of the time-honoured journalistic clich and in heartfelt protest Moogee this week declares all performance artists

    like Mark McGowan as fair game for us bewildered Art Dogs. For those not in picture Mr McGowan plans to eat a dead Corgi

    live on radio. He has so far eaten a swan, a fox and crawled around with a George Bush mask on and a placard stating Kick

    My Arse which apparently almost brought the American president to his knees begging forgivenessof course it did.

    Moogee is busily preparing another sign called Bite My Arse so the art-loving dogs of these isles will know exactly where to

    inect their criticism. The words cheap gimmick, stupid and waste of space come to mind but hey hes doing it for a noble cause

    you know and no doubt believes that this will raise the issuewhen in fact it just makes the whole thing look like a cheap artstunt (which it is). Just how is slurping on a bit of Corgi esh going to come over on radio? Will our peerless studio engineers

    stick a microphone close up so we can savour the gnashing of this self-declared veggie on doggy gristle and bone? The old ad-

    age no such thing as bad publicity may be put on hold in this case and as for the radio station..must be slipping in the ratings

    war.

    Moogee feels it time to separate the art clowns from the reasonably serious and god forbid actually talentedguess which cat-

    egory this fellow will end up in.woof.contender for Moogee Bone of Contention award 2007 already.

    Meanwhile the collapse of western civilization continues apace and the art market continues to reect the wider lunacy. Francis

    Bacon was a decent enough painter but was his detritus..thats rubbish in laymans terms worth selling at auction? Indeed it

    just copped a near million notes for what?

    Some old cheques torn in half, some misplaced paint and a few broken canvasses? It makes an old dog lose the plot and start

    barking even harder. Will rising art stars now collect all their sweet wrappers and old fast food containers in case they worth a

    mint one day? Though in some casesyou know who I mean..will bits of dead animal and old beds be art before or after they

    discovered to be rubbish? Maybe Mr McGowans next exercise could be to liberate that slightly mouldy old shark from its tank

    and eat that. Would certainly kill two birds with one stone and I expect that literally unless formaldahyde turns out to be good for

    the digestion. Would also bring the art market prices down if every potential dead animal buyer knew some carnivorous veggie

    lurking around the corner.

    This would make a great sequel to Shaun of the Dead.Dog Eating Zombie Artists in 3D..can see it now.woof, gnash,

    splasha real Art Slasher Movie. Moogee retains all copyright to this idea and interested Hollwood Producers please contact

    meJack the Drip takes on a whole new meaning

    So until I bark again and in case some lunatic artist tries to devour me whilst I chasing sticks on the heath please be careful its a

    sad old world out there and nobody is safe..not even the President or the Saatchis.

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    Arts Hub Column

    July 2007

    Modern Master-

    pieces

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    In the week that London has become the art capitalism capital according to the newspapers Moogee takes great pride in unveiling a

    cheap alternative. Yes in DIY capital U.K. where the B&Q managers are rubbing their hands over their Flood spend bonuses Moogee is

    proud to offer every householder their very own version of Classic British Modern Masterpieces. The Mini Modern Masterpieces range

    will be the envy of friends and neighbours and give you a cachet in the International Art World you could never have dreamt of.

    First up how to own a Gormley (current sculpture will set you back 187,200 in February at Sothebys) without re-mortgaging the house.

    First buy a pack of Jelly babies. Secondly select an orange one for rust coloured effect and place on a table top. Place head at table top

    level and pretend you are far away. There you are!( Top tip add Nice biscuit and have your own Angel of the North!)

    Second Modern Masterpiece Rachel Whiteread ( auction record 288,000 and a student of Mr. Gormely at Slade). In homage to her

    Tate installation. Purchase a box of sugar cubes and place inside an empty shoe box. Voila your own Blue Peter recreation of a modern

    masterpiece! Moogee will source more Modern Masterpieces for the nation in the months to come.

    Todays nal offering is a tribute to Dame Tracey Emin (no gong in the honours list yet but sells Neons for a measly 20,000 each and

    drawings for a bargain 3,600) surely it only a matter of time before the greatest living female artist is rewarded for her scintillating cut-

    ting edge..umm what was her Venice show ..oh yes..her Times Postcard said it all ..it was how she would imagine OLevels if shed ever

    taken an exam.Moogee is saying nothing her words speak volumes. Her partying and dancing seemed somehow more substantialthan her inept watercolours and boring neons could ever be. To replicate this artistic feast Moogee suggests you tear a few pages out of

    an Egon Schiele Taschen book and chuck a few Joseph Beuys drawings in for good luck as for the neon simply scribble some irrelevant

    quotes on a piece of paper in day-glo felt tip and there ya go a tribute to the U.K. Pavilion in no time. Yet another Mini Modern Master-

    piece to enjoy in your own home.this time with an international seal of approval..to suggest that her prices will rise because of the

    Biennale is of course foolish beyond words.

    One artist Moogee cannot offer a mini masterpiece of sadly is David Hockney ( painting record price 2.6 million ). Sir David (surely he

    deserves it as much as Mr. McKellen and others) is simply too complicated, erudite and dare we suggest it good to be compressed into

    a mini format. His latest landscape painting at the Royal Academy offers a pointed contrast to the foregoing artworks in that he actually

    engaging with brain, hand and eye as he put it.

    Such notions are hard to compress into sound bites, photo opportunities and general spin. Maybe our new PM will spark a spot of hon-

    esty in politics and that will infect the body art too..

    Moogee says it long overdue.

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    Arts Hub Column

    August 2007

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    Another week of sun and Moogee may start dog-bathing again. Meanwhile the shower of marvellous art continues to drench us with

    facts and gures. Mr.Hirst (Moogees favourite artist) has seen t to make some headlines (with a little help from his overactive PR

    dept.) by releasing a diamond-encrusted bonce. Said Pearly Bling has made many column inches and left people in no doubt that we

    witnessing the greatest living artist sinceoh Rolf Harris Id guess. That the bonce is tarted up with a batch of sparklers of indetermi-

    nate lineage ( pace Clive James in BBC article) we are left to wonder at the beauty of the artifact. A noble addition to the fake skulls

    that the Incas knocked out circa 1952 this latest zeitgeist trembler is as good as anything the Hirst as ever done i.e. its not very good

    at all. As if by a miracle (or tie-in) David Beckham dyed his bonce in hommage. Moogee waits with trembling paws for the Becks andPosh his and hers diamond skulls to be released soon.

    Apologies for older dogs who may think artworks are shown or only emerge fully formed from artists studios. Nowadays artists re-

    lease works in the same way as the latest fashion line hits Top Shop (Kate Moss or Frida Khalo?). Some of this may stand test of time

    but as that smart old dog Ozzer Wilde said Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

    So it good to know that Hirsty has already knocked out a second Fish in a tank to keep the market bouyant. Expect a Top-Shop Emin

    Tent soon with back page adverts in Sunday Times and how long before individual Mark Quinn blood heads will be sold as Blood bags

    for hospitals as part of yet another PFI initiative to ensure that dying pensioners see great art as they waste away in corridors. Yes life

    is consumption these days and a big Woofy yes to the show and tell generation.

    Thank god the art world has cleansed itself of those dour old duffers with their paint smeared hands and anti-social graces. A skull is

    worth a hundred Howard Hodgkins or Francis Bacons because all that depth and intensity and craft just got in the way of a good head-

    line. You cannot expect your average Oxbridge hack to delve deeply into the artists psyche as they wolf their dinner down in Grou-

    chos can you?

    Thankfully Warhol and his comedy offspring Gilbert and Sullivan (sic) were here to save the artworld from meaning. Better a hundred

    photo rehashes by some tired old pearly kings desperate to be asked on to the set of Eastenders than real painting.

    Yes the world is a better place and our lovely students of the arts have heeded their words and are busily creating articial nonsensicalinstallations and photo essays with ags and turds in as we speak. Hip hooray barks Moogee we love the new millenium artworld and

    all who sail in her..

    Pip pip ..snarl

    and a previous snarl from Moogees Kennel

    July 2, 2007

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    Moving the

    furniture

    around

    May 2007

    Illustration: Muller IKEA 2007

    Readymade exhibited at numerous

    locations around the country see

    IKEA website.

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    In an act of humility and contrition Moogee is going to go gently on the next exhibition at Angel RowCutting Edge Flagship of the city

    of Nottingham the home of the fresh and the brave.yeah rightNOT

    The next show is titled Business as Usual and never has this been more appropriate. Following on from the Parade wellbrisk

    walk..of the local luminaries we have an exchange show return from Zagrebthe jury is out on that one but it looks interestingandthis. To say the ideology and curatorial positioning similar to some of the work in Parade shows is a given ..

    I quote from Edwards Axis page.

    Sean Edwards sculptures set up situations that lead you into examining your viewing habits. Through a formal analysis of both the real

    and the fake, often employing a notion of absurdity in the process, Edwards aims to expose the machinery of our take on reality and to

    lay bare an objects function and use value.

    Already a prize winner for such cutting edge interventions as painting the Slade School of Art doors orangewoo hold me back that

    is radical.sorry but sometimes this kind of pretentious and earnest research led work just makes old Moogee laugh. Of course thatwork questioned notions of seeing..hmmmm of course nothing amboyantly self-advertising about it was there..no silly me.

    We seem to be caught in a decade of furniture removal artists..forget trad materials young artists you want to get ahead these days just

    get yourself some furniture..it so cliched already it become almost laughable. I know art students are up to their eyeballs in debt but

    please somebody loan them some pencils, paper, paints and wood and stone for gods sake or well all be sitting around rubbing our

    chins at another generation of furniture shiftersin twenty years time.

    Funniest of all is the fact that these FURNERS are always using slightly retro chic furniture it seems poor old IKEA is just no good for

    a badly thought out readymade these days..maybe its the lack of a patina of ageor simply that using new furniture would not mean it

    looked conveniently distressed. In this show (and no I will not see it or enter the gallery - if they can be so boringly oblique why shouldI bother walking round what is basically a set of illustrations to a thesis) we also have research student..Professor Pathway Intellectual

    grade 3 reverse somersault..(extra points for research) in C.V. Maxine Bristow.

    Dull theoretical base and her surgery located in a Centre for Practice as Research at University of Chesterwoo more avant-garde

    fun and frolics I bet (no Bowery aesthetics here, no Warholian underground no its Chester:-) Seriously the website says it all (in copi-

    ous amounts) this is art as academic living and good luck to her it pays the mortgage. Portfolio reveals handrails, towels, bags..very

    post-feminist research etc etc .to be fair looks a little IKEA so maybe unfair to apply retro tag. Again her own spinning yarn says more

    than I ever couldvery successful she is too but Id rather watch paint dry..literally

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    through her own work which establishes a dialectic between the processes, materials, and accompanying discourses of needlework/

    plain-sewing and the visual and conceptual concerns of minimalism, she provides a model of practice which aims to challenge percep-

    tions and generate new practical and theoretical perspectives and thereby open up a critical space for making which acknowledges tex-

    tile traditions and conventions.

    So there you go to be honest I found the recent exhibition at Castle Nottingham by Catherine Bertola to be far more interesting take on

    this area with far more than its own thesis to airindeed it may have been one of the most locally relevant and crafted shows of the year.

    Finally and courtesy of the Seventeen Gallery London a couple of art stars ( U.K. South Conference League division two) of which I far

    prefer David Erssers rather amusing (rst time) reconstruction of everyday objects in balsa wood. A kind of little boys rebuilding of the

    adult world instead of just a few gliders that invariably crash back to earth. Similarly the elegance and dare I say it craft of his work is

    charming but once you have scanned through all the variations it does become rather wearing like seeing the same joke told again and

    again (never harmed Julian Opie or Prince Hirst the First) but thats it.he makes things out of balsa.

    Check the seventeen gallery at http://www.seventeengallery.com/?p=2&id=4

    One thing you can say about the Furner Generation is they do look lovely at jpg level on the web and maybe that is what all this is all

    about. This generation are profferring ideas which only incidently need actual realisation. Lacking the nances to set up in studio spaces(average price in London currently 300 a month) they have opted for a practical but nally dehabilitating irony and distance that is driv-

    ing them farther and farther away from the tactility of material interaction. We may soon see a reaction to this divorce from materials and

    technique and a lessening of the intellectual gliding. As grant cut-backs impact heavily on artists incomes a lot of the hangers and run-

    ways that coddle these ights of the ephemeral will disappear and a good many gliders will simply crash back to earth.

    Moogee is getting known for his joking and revisionist approach to the nature of contemporary art but do not dismiss because they are

    jokes..they are serious jokes. I do not throw these comments out lightly. I believe there has been a lack of rigorous intellectual approach-

    es and a good deal of what we see tagged with the fashionable and ighty word successful artist will disappear and quickly. I witnessed

    this kind of irony and intervention many years back e.g. Richard Wentworth but then he was in the minority. Now every degree show

    has its ready-mades practitioner and to be honest isnt it all getting a bit boring. Modern Art, or as it has lovingly been re-branded post-

    Saatchi, Contemporary Practice (as if ashamed that anything to do with an advertising executive could be called modern art) has drift-

    ed down a cul-de-sac of its own intellectual construction. The worst and brightest offenders are the post Polytechnic university cohorts (a

    word derivitive of their original purpose - to fabricate engineers and crafts-people) who have created a monopoly on what does and not

    constitute the cutting edge academy.

    However they are no more the inheritors of radical practice than Blair was an inheritor of the Luddites. It is a be-calmed ocean of theoreti-

    cal limpitude.I threw that in to show even a barking dog can engage in critical discourse:-)

    A bit more intellectual and theoretical Luddism will be needed to throw off these shackles and enter a genuinely wider debate.

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    For every Susan Collis (our nal participant in Business as Usual - 17 gallery again) whose blurb is almost supremely special.

    Collis practice involves a subversion of time frame and visual perception through the manipulation of everyday objects. In the piece

    Paint Job, what initially seems like a collection of careless splashes and stains upon the fabric of utilitarian workers overalls are, oncloser inspection, meticulously stitched marks replicating the accidental and spontaneous moment.

    Its almost like Spinal Tap for art when blurb after blurb repeat the same Derridaesque formulas.on and on it goes and where will it all

    end..how many interventions in furniture can a small island like ours take?

    The fabric of utilitarian workers overalls sounds like a Virginia Wolsm on being confronted by these dreadful worker types.oh how

    simply awful ..I mean real workers.indeed perish the thought. Is this 1920 and we all off to Henley after this art larking over???

    I am not asking for the Angel Row to ll itself with paintings of victorian children, Jack Vetrianos (who I actually think stronger than the

    arts elite will allow) and god-forbid ..landscape artistsbut for every dull new acadamy show like this there an equal show of painters,

    sculptors using more traditional methods who have been and are continuing to be ignored. I challenge the Angel Row to let Moogee cu-

    rate a show of the outsiders and I bet I can nd work as interesting and as founded in literate theoretical positions and ambition as any

    of this.

    I do not blame the Angel Row staff or have any special reason for focussing my criticisms on them in particular they very nice people and

    they simply doing their job as advertised. They are operating in a wider art world of funding cuts and general indifference to the visual

    arts which not stuck in a cheap frame at IKEA .

    What I am highlighting is the fact that several generations of artists have gone unseen, unheard because of such obvious fashionistasThe reason? Well its all about a production line these days.

    Colleges of art are producing more and more able graduates in all elds and one of the most over-subscribed is the arts especially, as

    Grayson Perry pointed out, it becoming a nishing-school for the sons and daughters of the middle-classes. It may or may not be all

    croissants and the guardian as he stated in a Times article but it is becoming a default option for young students who intellectually bright

    but who do not fancy getting a real job..yet. For them a decade of moving the furniture does not mean housework (male or female) it

    means making artwhen not too intellectually or physically heavy.

    There is an imbalance that needs redressing but does ideologicaly compliant art necessarily mean good art ? As for art schools reecting

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    the wider make-up of our society just go to any degree show. At any one time there are more Korean, Japanese overseas students on

    courses than home-grown minority students.it is not the white middle-class who losing out it is the Asian and Afro-Caribbean youth who

    missing the gravy trains.

    My detractors, and I expect they already many ready to dismiss me as a Peter Fulleresque Ranter , miss the point. Our art schools are

    not in as ne and dandy a state as the PR departments would like us to think. The quality of art-teaching and artworks is not as con-

    sistantly high as the same highly glossed advertorials in brochures (sorry Prospecti) would have us believe.The dreaded bottom line and

    nancial implications mean some standards have been eroded, possibly terminally by these advances.

    This review did not need to attend the show which in fact not even open yet to address these fundamentals. The quotes above depend-

    ing on your point of view corroborate or deny your own entrenched views on where that art world (international or otherwise) truly is. I am

    simply trying to prise some of the debating ground open so that the other side of the coin can be seen and allowed to shine a little. I and

    many artists like me have been sidelined because of it and in many cases quite unfairly. Balance may not be possible but surely every

    artist should be allowed to y their kite/model aeroplane.

    Remember the academy thought they were right in France in 1899 and look what happened therenobody has an exclusive handle on

    the truth. Nobody is immune from being crap too.whatever they may say.

    As a beautiful postscript to these thoughts I suggest a singularly wonderful track by The Handsome Family an americana duo from Chi-cago now resident in the Mojave Desert. Their song Moving Furniture Around says more than all the above artistes with dare I say it

    more compassion, craft and genuine talentbut then they just travelling musiciansnot academics or professional artists. Artists studios

    used to resemble workshops full of rebels..these days they operate more like architects practices

    p.s. amusing footnote - this show also uses the previously hidden and obviously fascinating space of the Angel Row store-roomjust

    like Mr. Russell did in Parade.bit like babies and cardboard boxes at Xmas that one thenI wonder if it so rivetting why they dont just

    open a storeroom up as a gallery and save on building CCAN (Nottingham Contemporary) for 15 Million ( 19 Million) it would be a hell

    of a lot cheaper.

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    FAIRYTALE OF

    SNOTTINGHAM

    May 2007

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    Once upon a time in a far off land where the rivers ran with gold and hummingbirds darted between the lovely owers and every

    house was bathed in a golden glow there came to a city a wandering stranger who had no name, just the clothes he stood up in and a

    head full of ideas. The city was called Snottingham and it was a good place full of good people and all was as it should be in the best

    of all possible worlds.

    He was welcomed with open arms by the cheerful inhabitants and immediately given food and shelter and a place at the table in the

    grand hall.When his mead was all drunk and his belly full he sat back and watched as a gallery of weird and wonderful artists paraded their

    wares before him. There were clowns and jugglers, acrobats and painters, poets and sculptors and even some artists so strange he

    could not discern what art they were actually presenting..some even said that not presenting their wares was the artwork itself. This

    bemused our happy traveller and he thought no more of it. All was good and in the best of all possible worlds such a bewildering array

    of talents was for the best.

    Later as he slept the soundest sleep of his life he began to be assailed by strange demons that leapt around his head and taunted

    him. He saw the hall again but this time the artists, the clowns, the jugglers had all gone and instead he saw only the unhappy faces

    of the people and merchants grabbing their silver coins and hopping off down the stairs. The wonderful music and paintings disap-

    peared and a moaning and a lamenting lled his ears and the ears of every inhabitant of the land. He awoke with a start and lookedaround. It was just a nightmare surely brought on by the mead. The room he lay in looked the same, outside the empty hall would

    look just as it always had done but something felt wrong. He could not put a nger on it but something had changed. In his younger

    days he had painted the odd picture and written a poem or two that had pleased the masters of other great halls so he thought this a

    ne opportunity to do so once again. His dreams of wealth, happiness and contentment would be fullled in this place of golden op-

    portunities.

    Our poor traveller had forgotten one thing. All this happiness was based on the largesse of the Red King who sat on his throne in a far

    off and magical city to the south. Every day his courtiers would travel far and wide with carts of lovely gold from the never-ending cof-

    fers to pour it down on the lovely people and their lovely artforms. There were rumours that that wise and noble Red King had done

    this to keep all his citizens happy. Also that every coin he gave out came with not only a price to pay but that they were running out.It was a shock when the next day the town-crier shouted out the news all around Snottingham ..the Red King was dead and a new

    Even Redder King much like the old Red King but just that bit Redder where it mattered was now in charge.

    This Even Redder King was a wise and thrifty soul and immediately asked what benets all these carts full of gold had brought. Up

    and down the land artists and administrators racked their brains and toiled over documents to present their evaluationsbefore they

    could do so the Even Redder King said no more of this tomfoolery and frippery we need to pay for a mighty battle in the wild east end

    where our nest talents will take on the world. The days of golden carts is now over.once and for all

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    So the coffers dried up and the rivers ran with mud not gold and our artists and poets..what became of them?

    Well the great halls remained empty and the poets went back to their rooms and the artists, some painted on until their paint ran out

    whilst others who had never needed materials lasted longer but their survival was based on joining together and making sure that they

    convinced the people out in the markets and fairs that theirs was the great and true art even when they had nothing to actually show forit.

    These were the best of the magicians our traveller thought . They have turned pure ideas into gold like the alchemists of old. But even

    here there were problemsmore and more artists with no materials left joined their guilds and soon the only art on offer was non-art.

    What little pots of gold remained were jealously guarded by the newly appointed Dragons of Admistradorthere erceness when cor-

    nered ensured the new Even Redder King at least had some lovely things to lay before the people when they got a little restless.

    Slowly the city adjusted to the new regime. The happy hummingbird paradise of old was gone forever but still the kingdom remained calm

    and the people if not so beatic at least they had new places to enjoy the arts..The palaces of IKEA and CCAN helped soften the blow al-

    though some could not tell the difference. Real art had never been so affordable or so lovely for all and the new Palaces would bring new

    money from all across the globe. This helped the Academies where the Professors of Golden Loveliness who were running out of coins

    too were starting to feel the pinch and having to take less hoilidays each year..these were serious times.

    Our traveller had brought some questions for these artists and professors.but they did not like these questions..

    He asked why some of the loveliness that had been created in the golden cart years looked so poor and lacklustre now ..surely with all

    those billions of coins pouring down the art would be equally magnicent and last forever too. The more he enquired the less he found

    out and then he realised that a lot of this art either did not exist or had been an illusion all along

    It was the pouring that was important as it kept up the impression that everything in the old Red Kings kingdom was well. The peoplewho made this art could have been dangerous critics of the old Red King if he did not keep their bellies full and their circuses running.

    Slowly the people of this best of all possible worlds realised that their artists were no longer happy and that some were talking of support-

    ing another and nastier Blue/Green King who wanted to paint the world a different colour.

    Panic started to set in to the little artists camps and they started to argue and grab as much gold as they could before heading for the

    woods. Soon the forests around Snottingham were full of camps of performance poets, constructivist sculptors, derridaesque clowns and

    old fashioned and grey-bearded painters and painteresses. There was no longer any harmony, no lutes and mead.just hovels full of

    application forms

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    The new BlueGreen King rode into a deserted city after a snap election and took over and banned these people foreverhe never had

    liked art anyway so that was pretty much a no-brainer for him.

    As out traveller was escaping the new BlueGreen King he ran into one band of these artists who were now called Art terrorists. He recog-

    nized them from their wanted posters and their rather too tight green tights..the uniform of the eco-warrior artist clan..they swung down

    from the trees and surrounded him..their green hoods and baseball caps hiding their eyes.

    He was not worried surely these defenders of the true faith would save him or at least let him through safely to continue his quest. One

    even had a nice middle class name ..Robin and he surely came from the posh end of town

    Sadly they didnt because times were tight and funding had been removed they were forced to mug him, they took his mobile phone and

    wallet and pissed off

    Moral of this tale

    Dont believe in fairy tale endings.or art that never was and carts full of gold.leave that to the Leprachauns.

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    PARADE 3:

    STUFFHAPPENS

    April 2007

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    The New Profs: Parade 3 - Stuff Happens

    Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

    we would have known and surely would have predicted that the General Motors of the art world - the museums and universities -

    would ultimately seek to alleviate their post-market status and control the means of production Within 10 years, the art world was

    on its way to becoming a transnational bureaucracy. Everybody had a job description and a rsum I was face to face with a gen-

    eration of well-educated and expensively trained young artists whose extended tenure in art schools appended to the art world had

    totally divorced them from any social reality beyond it.

    David Hickey quoted in Gordon Burn Make it New Guardian October 14th 2006

    Hickey is talking about the 1970s in America but just as we have lagged behind our unweildly offspring in so many things since WWII

    - armaments, planning, social movements, music so too we have lagged in Art Education. Hickeys words are echoed by sculptor

    Richard Serra who called it Floor and drawer art - referring to the fashion for conceptual, documentary and installation work. Plus ca

    change. Here we are in the late naughties playing catch-up again but this time the implications for an art-world on brink of overload

    are severe. What has this to do with the offspring of our municent academies toting their cutting-edge wares before us on a sunnyevening at Angel Row? Well everything and nothing..

    To explain I have to tell you a little story

    Once upon a time there was an Irishman and an Englishman and they both dreamt of America.one ended up there studying at Yale

    with the same Richard Serra and one made it across from the hinterland of Birmingham on a Fullbright. What both of them ingested as

    well as a respect and understanding of American academic practices and art-scene was an understanding of the new world that was

    emerging. No more cosy provincial art-schools with their tired old life-drawing rooms and quaint practices. No they saw a golden vision

    of a big brash new world and they werent going to let the old feudalism dent their dreams. The history of post WWII propagandist use

    of art movements such as Pop and Abstract Expressionism as examples of democratic American freedom is well written. Far moresubtle and really only apparent now years later is the inuence of the free-market on the art schools of Britain. In an unholy alliance

    academics with left-wing sympathies who were able to earn right-wing lifestyles found that the freedoms of a free-market in education

    gave them prestige and their bosses higher turnover and prots. Locked together Art Education and Commerce factors danced like

    there was no tomorrow.

    The Irishman was Michael Craig Martin and in his pivitol role at Goldsmiths he ushered in the YBA (Young British Artists) phenome-

    non. The other character in my story is John Newling of Trent University ( formerly Polytechnic). At Trent Newling has overseen a simi-

    lar if less glamorous drive towards both improving standards and building the new Universitys reputation in the arts. It is the nature

    of what that built upon that I am interested in..those words of Hickey and Serra came back to haunt me as I moved around the Angel

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    Row in the evening sunlightare we witnessing the evening shadows lengthening on the day in the sun promised by the YBA circusI

    think we are..

    As a student Trent had already a growing reputation, Goldmiths too but nobody could have predicted the sea-change in the arts that they

    have overseen. At Hornsey College in 1980s I witnessed a full scale attack on the bourgeoise notions of craftsmanship, artistic talent and

    skill as new arts performance, installation and digital swept all before them ..this a full 5 years before YBAs. The students of the 1970shad prospered and brought their own practice to the art school corridors..out with the old and in with the new. In the art critical wilderness

    voices opposed to this turn around were berated as hopelessly conservative..Peter Fuller who had started his published life on a left-wing

    press was berated as a closet fascist. The art-war was overprogress had won and as the numbers of students swelled ( fuelled partly

    by a government which had become a dab-hand at closing down all else especially manufacturing) and the money owed in and the old

    Polys blossomed into cathedrals of light and regenerated beauty who could argue? In Nottinghams case the University actually built a

    new business school on the site of the old Raleigh factory. There was never a better time to be an artist and the YBA cash cows were the

    icing on the cake..things could only get better and bettercouldnt they?

    20 years on and the cracks in the facade have started to appear. The new Unis have been very succesful for those lucky enough to be

    within their privileged walls..and increasingly the proportion of overseas students is climbing in direct relation to the falling numbers ofU.K. students unable to navigate the fees asco or convince their parents that the art lottery worth playing. Meanwhile the Further Educa-

    tion colleges take up the old boring mundane training duties for real work the hairdressers and bricklayers who would have trained on

    the job in the old days. It not only the working class feeling the pinch as Grayson Perry noted even the middle-classes beloved of Blair

    are examining the ne print carefully these days before committing their hard earned cash. The art-world today has been transformed

    and here the nub of my storywhat we seeing is a generation of Floor and Drawer artists.our clean, bright lovely New Profession-

    als who could have easily gone into medicine, architecture or been vetsthe art-world has been scrubbed up for the naughties..it had

    to be to carry onanarchists, hairies, yippes of old need not apply..solid artworks and intellectual rigour onlyif it is weird it is safe

    weird. Which brings me back to my reverie in the late sun in the soon to be upgraded and cleansed Angel Row. Where has all the fun

    gone..the anarchy, the dare I say it revolution and as for social reality..you avin a larf guvnor?..

    Oh dear am I being too old-fashioned for you dear reader?

    Parade 3: Curated by Leo Fitzmaurice (who incidently has some fairly slight squibs on supermarket posters in the entrance) is the nal

    act in the three-ring circus that was Parade - an attempt to showcase the brightest and most urgent art from the sunny East Midlands.

    In concept it draws on a large amount of networking events and in-house collaboration between artists chosen because they already

    performing across the Critical Network i.e. a post degree infrastructure that effectively promotes more of the same and excludes just

    about everybody else from the show. Imagine a Circus tent that pitched up in town and when you arrived 90% of the acts were clowns

    and when asked where are the horses and elephants and even the jugglers you were told sorry by ofcial decree only the clowns can

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    take part the rest have been deemed too reactionary, conservative or just too old. The factors causing this state of affairs are tedious

    and would take a book to explain but art as instrument of social policy, art as regeneration symbol, art as education and most impor-

    tantly artists under 30 as keys to unlocking European Funding have all played their part. Factor-in a developing network of self-pro-

    moting across the land and you have a virtual alternative art scene but is i t ? What is mind-numbing about this series of shows is how

    safe it really is and how old-fashioned it all looks. The new underground drinks lattes, shops at Muji and uses their arts council grants

    as deposits on housescapitalism must be quaking in its boots. One artist ( the oldest in show of course) actually has a thread of the

    real rebel in him and it shows.

    Another reviewer noted the air of inconsequantiality about this third show and he nailed it. This is Sunday supplement wannabe art.

    It affects an air of deant rebelliousness but it no more real than a Peter Docherty poem or Tracy Emin Sunday column. Art has been

    divorced from its social setting and artists starved for years of funds and attention are more than happy to dance to the pipers tune.

    In an area like the East Midlands where there virtually no private sales system that means Academia and Subsidy.they are all on

    A&S (the medical overtone there correct) without it most would have withered on the vine years ago or got proper jobs. So what is Joe

    Public (conspicuous by his absence of course) to make of this Parade in his name?

    I could list every artists name but for a fuller overview please read Mark Pattersons incisive account in the Nottingham Evening Post

    (which incidently in response to public clamour for art coverage recently reduced said coverage by half in order to print more datingads). I am just going to give my honest appreciation of the work as it shown. I know only one participant and that is Paul Matosic

    whose oor piece of dismembered computer parts got a a thumbs up from Mark Patterson and which I agree is a highlight of the show.

    Another piece which caught my eye immediately was Hessings assemblage of multiplugsconcise and a formally inventive and clever

    piece that had real sculptural precsence. In the same room Godfreys magazine excerpts were Foundation level smartypants, ( ditto

    Davis so you took these symbols of capitalism and contemporanityand you broke them down ..how exciting..) Jamiesons

    envelopes were a good jokeSol Lewitt for the poor? Ayling and Conroy I leave to an anonymous comment I overheard art for

    the front page of Frieze only it will never make it..it looked like Jeff Koons on a bedsit budget if theyd aimed lower like the neatly

    formulated 96 tears and 96 eyes they could have got frontpage of A.R. publicity literature instead. One thing I cannot fault though is

    the premise of lo-, reusing objects as dened by the overall curation.it is stuff and sometimes it is happening but mostly it isnt.

    Stuff that could have enjoyed development included Stevensons signagenicely done and could progress, Hessings re-modulations

    and maybe Fishers other work although HAL was a bit too pop culture referential to have any real bite but full marks for a laddy rein-

    vestigation of traditional laddette materials. Kirshnirs morse code was a good idea badly presented.

    Stuff that emphatically, oh god why bother didnt happen for me and quite a few others, included Gubbs amplieryawn.and Dan-

    ica Maiers soft (literally lace..but from abroadnot Nottingham you understand) pornographic cartoon. Nothing trembling there. By

    coincidence the two most lethargic entrants have the academic seal of approval.and if Norman and Mayer continue like this they will

    soon join them.

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    Stuff Happens..was sort of Ok in a ve out of ten way.to return to the vegetable metaphors then this was more like a street barrow at

    5pm on a Saturday and whilst most of it was well past sell-by date intellectually ( pace 1970s and 1980s conceptualism and assem-

    blage) there were some still fresh bargains to be had and at least the curator/barrow boy tried to showcase as much as possiblei.e.

    throw enough against wall some sticks .rest og it cheap mate..

    So what does any of that have to do with the rst part of this extended rant or diagnosis depending on your age/social background and

    access to those barrow boys and girls of benevolence.A.C.E.?

    Well members of the jury my prognosis is simple. What has happened with our art education system is directly reected in the quality and

    the depth of the work these artists display. Too many older artists in the East Midlands have tried to reinvent themselves in recent years

    to gain access to these charmed circles and in doing so have jettisoned any credibility and development for a handful of silver. Amongst

    the younger artists the wow factor teaching has left them polishing old ideas in ever decreasing circles and now ever decreasing fund-

    ing. The golden eggs are no longer going to be dished out for fourth rate art and Im afraid the only gold will be hanging around athletes

    necks. The system of professionalisation has left us with a glut of pretentious semi-curators with more and more artists of variable talents

    to curate. Academia is the safe-house where the avant-garde can sleep safely and all the while the social reality remains a late-night

    bus ride away. There was not one reference in any of this work to the actual area of the East Midlands. That social reality simply didnt

    exist. The ivory towers have not got any taller ..they have just got thicker walls.

    Once upon a time there was an Irishman,an Englishman and a Scotsman and they dreamt of Americathey dreamt of revolution. of turn-

    ing the world upside downwhere is Tom Paine or Burns when you need him most?

    To quote a singer in a band..Jefferson I think were lost..

    All we have now after the Parade has passed are a handful of beans and a golden goose.oh and a lovely, lovely square

    Editors note: Apologies to Alexander Stevenson for an honest mistake re. his and Kirshnir s work. In the speed of writing I mistakenly

    assigned his (positive) mention with Kirshnir. This has now been rectied and a heartfelt apology to both. My only defence is it a genuinemistake and my incredible age. Even with proof-reading sometimes things slip through. Amended version now online.

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    Arts Council

    debate

    april 2007

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    Moogee been barking on the debate againhere his latest from Arts Council Debate Tim Rose said

    I nd myself thinking the heretical thought that public funding of artists is a disease posing as a cure. I would like to see a 10

    year moritorium on funding of artists. There is no clear criteria on who should get funding, whether the public might agree

    with the way their money is being spent (sometimes a contemptuous disregard for public opinion from funding bodies). Also

    it creates a dependancy culture within the artistic community leading to an unwritten belief in the power of the state to dictateculture and paradoxically dissempowering artists in their self belief. Art is not easy, every one is not an artist and there is no

    real reason the state should pay artists any more than an aromatherapist. I do believe in funding for galleries and exhibitions

    but artists should only be funded for specic commissions.well I said it, got it off my chest and feel betterhey ho!

    I nd myself in sympathy with Tim Roses comments. Not because the practitioners in East Midlands are any better or worse than rest

    of U.K. We have our share of tickboxers and plain lame like anywhere but because it chimes with an unspoken assumption being aired

    about what the cuts will mean in reality. As money slowly seeps away from lottery and grants are cut it appears that the best and most

    honourable solution is to give the money to organisations and galleries that can share the benets between a group of artists rather than

    one. An old-fashioned benevolence but one that far fairer than hefty wads of cash being hoovered up by the most able to ll forms or

    convince the administrators in A.C.E.of their genius.

    Finally has anyone noticed that this debate was launched just before the cuts were announced - pre- emptive spin to bury bad news

    comes to mind but maybe I just a tad cynical - our government would never do something like that would they?

    Of course not.the very idea

    Gloria Cummins said.I believe the only principle should be has it got sustainability?

    sustainability has become a buzz word here for the droves of eager beavers working on their app forms before the bar gets lowered

    againand it like most buzz words means absolutely nothing at all.

    If somebody can show me how any project can be described as having sustainability Id like to know howeven projects I been in-

    volved in that appear to have legs are suddenly confronted with problems in location, funding and direction that can mean they can end

    at any point. There is no given that talking up a projects long term prospects means that when push comes to shove any funding stream

    or sponsorship can be guaranteed. The private sector knows that when the money runs out the shutters come down and the same rules

    apply to the arts unless you happen to have a particularly lovely benefactor with deep pockets orheresy..you have a business model

    that makes moneyand few arts bodies would be able to think like that

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    moogee the art dog

    Shaun Belcher / Red Herring 2010

    http://www.shaunbelcher.com/moogee