ANY RESEMBLANCE OF DR. HAGEY TO UMBEiTO D. IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL -

UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO I VOL. 2 NO. 21 WATERLOO, ONTARIO THURSDAY, MARCH 22, 1969

"EXPRESSION '62" - A US/T BUY A r DECADE OF DECADENCE

If and when this bunch graduates, society is going to have to take up the slack. Just judging from small char- acter traits now, I’ve tried to project the images of several types ten years in the future to see how their environment adopts to them.

The math faculty has now grown to fifty-seven mem- bers, fifty in Grad school and four retired. Wog is still bothering Dr. S; about a proof for Hedonism and Epicureanism being Syn- onymous.

On a dark romantic beach a resonant voice keeps call- ing for a reform from sin and a return to the four absolute values and M.R.I.

R&5 makes a quick trip to Reno because after all these years someone has told her that “the Enforcer” al- ways wears sun-glasses.

The Globe and Mail an- nounces that Dave Smith has been added to the list of millionaires. At the same time The Coryphaeus an- nounces that he has obtained his bachelor’s degree.

Elsie Mae has decided that what radio needs is more organization, so she’s decided to put it back on its feet before getting married.

George Welsh is dictating editorial policy to the CP and his motto seems to be “Let the xxxxxxxx have it where they live.”

Sandy Saunders writes a Broadway Smash, called “In- side Waterloo” and has the “George Crabbe Literary Prize” wrested from her.

Bill McClelland wakes up New Orleans with a form of progressive jazz called “The Spark-Gap Twist.”

Bob Schatz sells a million on an old favourite called “Bo - Diddly”. The music world weathers the storm and thirteen fellow graduates get neuroses from over-ex- posure.

Paul Dirksen makes it big in the construction business and devotes the rest of his life to the erection of free residence facilities for Men- nonite boys on campus.

A convent finally accepts Mary-Beth.

Terry Jones resigns as Arts President.

Judy Boetger finally starts studying Engineering-in self- defense and Shellev makes a half-hearted try at Latin.

The Drama Show has a full house and the leading lady breaks her head ten minutes before curtain.

Mike Durnan attends a Poli-Sci lecture and the prof thinks he’s a faculty mem- ber. Mike soon sets him straight.

Paul and Jacky join a Kibbutz in the Negev des- ert. It’s Jackson’s idea.

George Pollit and George Amos team up to corner the Canadian stock market, two weeks before the big Flash.

Somebody feeds Delmar to the computer and . . . the computer gets sick. Delmar gets “REJECT” stamped on his head in indelible ink.

The English department is finally moving out of the Engineering building.

Joe Holden goes off his hummer and dive bombs Quebec because it’s not tak- ing a French stand on the Algerian war. (Sure it’s still going on; De Gaulle isn’t dead yet.)

Leo Johnson finds an orig- inal Mathew Arnold letter and reads it out in class.

Cooky has the snow re- mover towed away from the parking lot because it doesn’t have a Parking Sticker.

I’m still waiting for some of you sore-heads to cool off, after all guys, ten years is a hell of a long time.

A. Pseudonym

BOOKSTAND SMUT ATTACKED As I stood waiting in a

Waterloo drugstore the other day, while the druggist wrap- ped my newly purchased Dr. West toothbrush, I noti- ced two, young, teen-age boys inspecting one of t.he many pocket books on dis- play. A cursory glance re- vealed the book’s bright orange cover. After the boys had left, I recovered this ‘book from its resting place among several similar works and, somewhat dejectedly, I read the title, Rape,Bait, on a cover exhibiting a female figure attired in lingerie only.

‘This sort of conduct is occurring every day in every city of North America. I do not question the value in this behaviour - there is none. What I do question is our glaring complacencey, our “I-don’t-give-a-damn at-

titude” toward an activity which serves only to debauch its participants.

Without undue disregard for the civil liberty of free- dom of the press or for the economic implications bound up in the writing and pub- lishing livelihoods, I believe that the mental stimulation of our younger citizens mer- its equal consideration. I cannot conceive of any pos- sible benefit to anyone, let alone the younger set, from reading about homosexual- ity, lesbianism, and promis- euity, as they are presented in the earthy pocket book. Granted, there are those who can read a pocket book of this type, recognize it for what it really is, and give up the practice. This group is to be admired for its common

Cont’d. on Page R

One, Two, Three, FLUNK l m H

Dark rumours have been flitting about the campus to the effect that a group of militant type students are getting up a petition to have one of their professors ousted on the grounds of incom- petence. Somebody is run- ning something up the old flagpole and as yet, not too many people are saluting it. A can of beans is being opened somewhere out in left field and when the odour gets to home plate the dap- per man in the blue business suit will call “Foul” and put the screws on someone. Go- ing after a professor’s scalp with only a petition is like trying to kill a walrus with a B.B. gun or stopping an oversize watch that has al- ready been wound. The prof concerned is understandably harried but the petition group claims that this is no reason for him to get his courses mixed up. Nobody gets that harried - do they?

A petition is a great risk and in a matter of this gravity there is the danger that the incompetent prof will be retained and the petitioners ousted. Signing a petition is like signin; one’s own application for flunking. What*prof is going to turn the other cheek after taking a slug like a petition could give him. I’m sure he would tend to grade papers more objectively than ever . . . ha ha!

From the students’ point of view, it must be frustrat- ing to sign up for a course and get taught one of two others instead - or a com- bination of the whole three.

Aristotle Unhinged

EXCITING!’ EXCLUSIVE! ’

‘EXPRESSION ‘62’

Expected Soon!

Peace Corpsman to Indo Chinese customs officer - “Hurry up with the bags slant eyes.”

- CHALLENGE - CALGARY (CUP) - It

has been rumoured that ad- ministration pressure forced the Engineering Students Society (ESS) to withdraw support of a beer-drinking contest here this month.

Moses Chirambo, a mem- ber ,of the Arts and Science faculty, defeated Engineer Bruce Chowder by downing 31 beers in an hour. Chowder

The ESS had planned to sponsor the competition, but withdrew at the last minute.

only consumed 24 of the

Usually reliable sources de-

liquid.

clared that pressure had been applied.

-Very shortly now, there will be available for’ your purchase a campus literary magazine, Expression ‘62. The number being printed will ‘be limited to 125 copies so watch the bulletin boards for the proposed date of publication and sales. For a school of our years, such a magazine is a new and exciting under- taking - 50 pages of original material by tomorrow’s leading pens - so buy your copy and help make it a success.

Campus Centre Construction to Start September 1962 - - -

The new Ripley Memorial Centre - believe it or not - is to be built during the winter and spring of 1962-63 for occupancy in Sept., 1963. This building is to be built at a cost of several million dollars donated by the Dom- inion Government (Good Old Johnny) from the sale of scrapped Bomarcs. The ar- chitects are Scored and Morefat. With the promise of this support from above, Dr. Vagey has given the indication that “all systems are ‘GO’,” and construction will start as soon as a con- tractor can be found to start the building.

The Centre will be directed by Mr. Alfred E. Neuman with the aid of a highly trained staff of apes to run the food services . . . i.e., the food will be “never touched by human hands.” All other services will be student controlled, and will include the services outlined below.

In the basement, there will be the usual Janitors’ closets etc. the Purple Room - fashioned after Holly- wood’s Purple Onion - which will display abstracts, sell express0 and supply jazz concerts. Also nearby will be the “Foreign Movies” room with live performances weekly. To round out the basement floor will be the “Den of Iniquity” - a ‘Reno’ type gambling layout with one whole room (54’ x ‘i’i%&dvoted to one-armed .

On t,he main floor will be the lobby and the main desk

- staffed by starlets im- ’ ported from Hollywood and changed every week. Also on this floor will be the Dining Hall and Cafeteria - each serving 24 hours daily, with free drinks with every order of $2.00 or more. There will also be a Terrace opening off the dining hall for dancing, etc. In the rooms next to these will be two colour TV , lounges, a Stereo lounge and a small dance room with a free juke box.

Also situated on the main floor will be the commercial wing with a Barber shop and beauty salon, a groceteria, and a sub-postoffice.

On the first floor there will be several Darkrooms (for those who enjoy playing photography) along with all necessary meeting rooms for the Director, and the student Councils and Clubs - each room supplied with its own Bar and Snack Service (Snack Service includes b& lunches).

The two top floors will be devoted entirely to Guest Rooms (with maid service as at the main desk) which would be rented for a nom- inal fee. On the roof will be installed a large telescope (for viewing the K-W Nurses Residence?) for those astron- omically minded individuals. Also there will ‘be ample elevator served “parking” space on the roof.

CCC(P)

(Ed. Note: Any reference to actual events, people, places mentioned above is purely intentional).

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE SCIENCE ELECTORATE ’

NEXT FRIDAY, March 23, it will be your duty to vote for a president and a vice-president for the Science Society.

Since its inception in the winter of 1960, I have taken

Since the Science Society, two years old, is a relatively

an integral part in the formu-

new organization on campus,

lation of Science Society

it is of paramount import- ance that the executive mem-

policy. It was Doug Evans,

bers who are elected be fully qualified. I claim to have both the experience and the

(your retiring president)’ and

desire to fulfil1 the office of

I who drafted the original

vice-president of your Sci- ence Society.

constitution for the Science Society. For the past two years I have also held the office of treasurer of the Science Society, besides tak- ing an active part on the committees for initiations and the Christmas Formal.

At present, we have ap-’ proximately 120 students in our faculty and should ex- pand to at least 200 by next . September. Therefore, it is my contention that various of the +articles in the Con- stitution should be critically examined and revised so that we will have fair representa- tion on Council, and inte- grate the Science students as a result.

As treasurer I became Co&d. on Page a

Tb CORYPiIAEUS L

I .

\ .’ /. Published1 by the undergraduate student body of t

d \ University of Waterloo, under. the authorization of t actin, Board of Publications. Publications Office, Annex The 8 niversiw of Waterloo, Phone SH 5-0573, and SH 3-26 \ j The opinions expressed’ herein represent the freedom ._ _\ 1. expression of a- responsible, autonomous society. 3 / , , Editor-in-Chief: George Welsh i

Associate Editor: Ted Rushton Prpduction and Circulation: Todd Sewell ’

News Editor: Sue Nichols _ B / Engineering Editor: Larry Bar’kley

1 ‘ . Arts Editor: .Ron Hornby . i Sports: Lewis Taylor ’ ~.

Science Editor: Joe Mazur ,’ Photographers: Mike l&Brine,, John Bishop‘

? ’

I’ . .A ,RefZectiok .’ + Another academic year has almost passed and now 1

- are facing exams. Lift your head from your books for t ’ ‘/ i minutes and reflect carefully on the year just past. Wh .’ have you contributed to the University? What has t

\: University given you? Everyone will have a different answc i /. We on the paper tend to look back at the record wi

mixed emotions: there is some feeling of accomplishmer / a yet there, is also the nagging suggestion of failure. F

,, suppose, that even for a few years to come, there will. the feeling that ,U. of W. is watching the world go by I

/ . and this is, to be expected. We are young, but each passh , year sees increased endeavour and increased sueeess in t:

variOus phases of ourlife here. The growing paius of “‘apatl apathy” are only to be expected, but in time these t

’ \ will pass away. ,’ , /

‘An Open Letter ” to. the Science

’ Electorate Cont’d.

I’;2 \ atiquainted with the various needs - both present. and future i facing the Science

! . Society. We have managed to have a small surplus in both years of operation, but I believe that if the Council is made aware of the possible results of following a , strict,

, budget, we might be able to f saveenough money to outfit,

. 9 for instance, a Science Coun- cil office.

There is another fa&t ‘that you, as voters, should know. Not only are you electing a

* vice-president for the Science . . Society, but you ‘are also

choosing a voting representa- i ’ tive on Students ’ Council, since, ‘under our Constitu-

! , tion, the vice-president is seated on Students Council..

As vioe-presidential candi- - date, it is impossible for me

to formulate an official plat- c form, sincte this is the privil-

-*ege of the persons running : * for the preside&y*

be However, if elected, I will

willing to listen to all suggestions off ered . by you,

, the electorate, and to give them the utmost considera- tion possible. It is my desire

, - to serve you, both as Science : I rv \ vice-president and as the

Science representative to Students Council. Should my opponent win; I will still be available to help in whatever capacity ‘the elected Council

. deems fit. In the hope that you will

: mark your ballot in my\, favour. ’

, - ’ Horst F. Wohlgemut i!lar& 17,1962

SWAN Cleaaerg ’ and

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Same-Day Service

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-

LOST ~ Introduction to

Psychology All Notes Enclosed

Call Desperate 742-222: or leave at ‘Bookstore \

CXPRESSION ‘62’ u. of W.‘s 1

Literary’ Magazil On sale within 3 weeks . in the main lobby.

M ERCHANTS

P RINTING

C OMPANY LIMITED

47 Ontario St. S. Phone SH 5-8433

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Toilet Articles 170 King North ‘< *

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BELMONT VARIETY 714 Belmont Ave. ‘W.

Kitchener Pocket Books ’

Magazines Tobticco’ ’ Sundries

Confectionery Open to 10.00 p.m.

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3oodstand Smut Attacked Cont’d. lense. Others can read copy tfter copy with little or no lulling at the moral fibre. IYhis group- is also to be Longratulated, not -for its eading habits, but for its unyielding convictions. But here are many readers, and ’ suspect that many’ of the roung teen-age readers tend o fall mainly into this group, crho experience a sensual ratification from reading uch “literature.” This is the beginning of a major prob- em. Once this habit develops nto a more overt form of lissolute behaviour, society 3 faced with the “erring hild.”

The solution is simple. Jet’s throw off our robe of omplacency, -burn all- these zwd pocket books, and send heir lascivious writers pack- w ’

M. Spillane ’ ..J .t

““TAKE IT, ‘OR &iAVEIT” ‘ 5, 3 I : By G. WHIZ : 5

n climbing ever higher, the crows cawing and the melting snow mean just one-thing to the citizens

mother nature is finally cleaning off< their

*- * * * About two weeks ago, reports from Tasmania told of an

unidentified creature on a beach. It was .20 feet long, 15’ feet wide and 7 feet high, covered with fur, impervious to fire, and has flesh like. crab meat. The only really interesting piece of news in. many moons and we hear very little about it. I hope it was genuine and not a publicity stunt for a new Japanese monster movie. How about those Japanese? Every monster they bring, out, Rodan, Godzilla, etc., causes appalling destruction panic. Who do they think they are kidding? All these’weird creations are just ( another way of saying “Look what, that dirty old atomic bomb did.‘!

,

* ’

*, * * Gianeing through Exchunge (a new and exciting .magazine )

of contemporary Canadian thought and expression which needs 6000 subscribers if it is to survive) I saw a few examples of modern poetry. Like modern -painting, these poems are different. Each selection has a message . -. . which ‘only the author claims he knows and he usually shows an esoteric reluctance to divulge it. Simple syllogism: .modern poetry is a new art form and “new art form” is a euphemism for “no talent” therefore, need I say more? I , ‘* * * \ * -

Were it not for the humane invitation to supper I received last Sunday night, 1~ feel I could have broken a personal record last weekend, 72 hours on one loaf and one (small) jar of sandwi&spread. The only parallel I can think of is Laurel Creek trying to turn a large turbine. I derive a great deal of satisfaction from the starving student image but every time I step on the scales I seem to be shattering the image into smaller pieces: /

* * * * I wrote a dramatic monologue for the literary magazine

but the editorial boaSrd turned it doti on the gounds that it lacked taste. But the Coryphaeus editor, who is basically a good Joe, is allowing me to print it. Here it is: -\ I

JOAN AT THE STAKE (A dramatic monologue bg G. Whiz)

*Grant me this last request j Ere I perish From the earth . . . give me a cigarette.

* *- * * Bon chance on the exams people - hope to see you

next year. /

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