15. Decorum and Christian Civility...Good manners and Politeness according to S.J.B.L.S. - 1. Good...

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15. Decorum and Christian Civility Page 1 15. DECORUM AND CHRISTIAN CIVILITY Summary: Good manners and Politeness according to S.J.B.L.S. - 1. Good Manners and Politeness of the lay Christian. - 2. Dignity of the lay Christ/an. - 3. The vocation of the Christian. 3.1. The call to personal holiness. 3.2. A call to work at the sanctification of social and cultural relation- ships. - 4. The virtuous character of exterior actions. 4.1. Modesty. 4.2. Respect. 4.3. Affection, union, charity. DECORUM AND CHRISTIAN CIVILITY ACCORDING TO ST. DE LA SALLE When J.B. de La Salle decided to write a book on good manners to be used by the children of ar- tisans and the poor, his only difficulty was whatti- tle to give it: he was familiar with a large number of these manuals meant for use in schools or ped- dlcd between the towns and the countryside. To name but a few: Les Praliqlles Jamilieres de la Ci- vilite pOllr ellseigner alL\: en/allIs a .,ivre et a og;,. a I'exleriellr a1'ec hOlll/etele el biel/seol/ce, of J. de Batencour, La Cil'iIile 1I01l1'elle, COl/leI/aI/I 10 I'raie el parJaile il/SlrllCliol/ de 10 jelillesse, similar to that of the Jesuits; Le NOIIl'eau Traile de 10 cil'ilile qlli se pratique en France. of A. de Courtin; Le Tr"aite de fa CiJli/ite nouvellemem dresse d'zme maniere e;wcle ellllelhodiqlle, el sllil'all/ les Regles de I'IIS- age ,'i,'al/(, by an anonymous author of Lyons; the countless CMliles hOlllleleS el plleriles and even that entitled Les Regies de la biel/seal/ce civile el chretiel/I/e. whose title is so similar to the Foun- der's book that it may be surmised that it may have inspired that of Regles de Ia biellseal/ce el de la Cil'ilile chre/iel/I/e. Nevertheless the choice of this title is very meaningful. For just as J.B. de La Salle wished to make of his schools, Christian schools, to the same extent good manners and proper behaviour which he aims at could be noth- ing else but Christian, giving the word its strongest meaning. It is interesting to draw a parallel be- tween the definitions given of BIENSEANCE and CIVILJTE, on the one hand, the dictionaries of the time, and on the other PREFACE of the Re- gles de 10 Biel/seal/ce el Cil'ilile Chrelielllle. Furetiere (1701): .. BiellSeOIlCe": that which suits a thing; which lends it chann and attractiveness; or if so desired, an action which confonns with the times, the places. and the persons; consideration which is shown in every circumstance. This becoming con- duct knows no boundaries: sex, age, character im- poses different duties: and if nil these differences are not observed, one is considered ill-mannered ... Ch,j- Iile": An honest, gentle and polite way of doing things and talking with others. Everybody must be treated with deference. Civility is a sort of jargon llsed by men to conceal their reciprocal ill-feelings. Richelet (1709): .. Bien,sealJce": A behaviour which conforms with the times, the place and the persons. Consideration shown towards time, place and per- sons ... CivilitC": A way of refraining from doing or saying anything which is not honest or opportune in one's daily dealings with others. A hehaviour which is honest and potite (... j. Naturally, civility must be polite, wise and judicious. 143

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15. DECORUM ANDCHRISTIAN CIVILITY

Summary:

Good manners and Politeness according to S.J.B.L.S. - 1. Good Manners and Politeness of thelay Christian. - 2. Dignity of the lay Christ/an. - 3. The vocation of the Christian. 3.1. The callto personal holiness. 3.2. A call to work at the sanctification of social and cultural relation­ships. - 4. The virtuous character of exterior actions. 4.1. Modesty. 4.2. Respect. 4.3. Affection,union, charity.

DECORUM AND CHRISTIAN CIVILITYACCORDING TO ST. DE LA SALLE

When J.B. de La Salle decided to write a bookon good manners to be used by the children of ar­tisans and the poor, his only difficulty was whatti­tle to give it: he was familiar with a large numberof these manuals meant for use in schools or ped­dlcd between the towns and the countryside. Toname but a few: Les Praliqlles Jamilieres de la Ci­vilite pOllr ellseigner alL\: en/allIs a .,ivre et aog;,. aI'exleriellr a1'ec hOlll/etele el biel/seol/ce, of J. deBatencour, La Cil'iIile 1I01l1'elle, COl/leI/aI/I 10 I'raieel parJaile il/SlrllCliol/ de 10 jelillesse, similar to thatof the Jesuits; Le NOIIl'eau Traile de 10 cil'ilile qllise pratique en France. of A. de Courtin; Le Tr"aitede fa CiJli/ite nouvellemem dresse d'zme manieree;wcle ellllelhodiqlle, el sllil'all/ les Regles de I'IIS­age ,'i,'al/(, by an anonymous author of Lyons; thecountless CMliles hOlllleleS el plleriles and eventhat entitled Les Regies de la biel/seal/ce civile elchretiel/I/e. whose title is so similar to the Foun­der's book that it may be surmised that it mayhave inspired that of Regles de Ia biellseal/ce el dela Cil'ilile chre/iel/I/e. Nevertheless the choice ofthis title is very meaningful. For just as J.B. deLa Salle wished to make of his schools, Christian

schools, to the same extent good manners andproper behaviour which he aims at could be noth­ing else but Christian, giving the word its strongestmeaning. It is interesting to draw a parallel be­tween the definitions given of BIENSEANCE andCIVILJTE, on the one hand, the dictionaries ofthe time, and on the other PREFACE of the Re­gles de 10 Biel/seal/ce el Cil'ilile Chrelielllle.

Furetiere (1701): .. BiellSeOIlCe": that which suits athing; which lends it chann and attractiveness; or ifso desired, an action which confonns with the times,the places. and the persons; consideration which isshown in every circumstance. This becoming con­duct knows no boundaries: sex, age, character im­poses different duties: and if nil these differences arenot observed, one is considered ill-mannered... Ch,j­Iile": An honest, gentle and polite way of doingthings and talking with others. Everybody must betreated with deference. Civility is a sort of jargonllsed by men to conceal their reciprocal ill-feelings.Richelet (1709): .. Bien,sealJce": A behaviour whichconforms with the times, the place and the persons.Consideration shown towards time, place and per­sons...CivilitC": A way of refraining from doing orsaying anything which is not honest or opportune inone's daily dealings with others. A hehaviour whichis honest and potite (... j. Naturally, civility must bepolite, wise and judicious.

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"Christian civility is hence a wise and well-orderedbehaviour which one manifests in ·one's conversa­tion and in one's external actions through senti­ments of modesty or respect, or union and charitytowards one's neighbour, taking into account thetime, the place and the persons with whom one istalking, and it is this way of looking at onc's neigh­bour which one calls civility". (RH. IV).

So, on the one hand, we have the humanistdictionaries reOecting life as it is lived. On theother, we have an undertaking the aims of whichare pastoral, entirely geared to a life of Christianperfection. The Christian perfection of the layChristian.

1. CHRISTIAN DECORUM AND CIVILITYOF THE CHRISTIAN LAYMAN

J.B. de La Salle stresses, in several places of hisRegles de la Bienseance, that the book is meantfor Christians living in the world their vocation asbaptized people. He does not use the word "lay",but "secular": there are obligations that bind onlyseculars (Visits p. 159); there is a modesty thatsuits only seculars "to look down when walkingp. 18; the arms folded", p. 37. "It is ill-manneredfor seculars to hide their hands under their clothesor to fold them when talking to someone: thisbearing denotes more the religious than the secu­lar", p. 39. The preface refers to Christians "in theworld", "to persons who live there" (p. I) and veryspecially to the "fathers" and "mothers", the "Iay­masters" and "Iaymistresses" (p. II).

2. DIGNITY OF THE CHRISTIAN

The most meaningful passages of the RBB andthe most beatiful are related to the awareness theChristian has of his dignity "He is of noble birthbecause he belongs to Jesus Christ and is a childof God, who is the Sovereign Being" (p. 3). Heconsiders his body as the living temple "whereGod wishes to be adored in spirit and in truth"(p. 43), as a tabernacle which Jesus-Christ haschosen "for His dwelling" (id.), as "the tabernaclewhere Jesus Christ kindly accepts to rest often"(p. 62), as "the temple of the Holy Spirit" (id.).

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A common dignity shared by aJl Christians andis the foundation on which rest aJl social rela­tionships: "since every Christian having to behaveaccording to the precepts of the Gospel must showhonour and esteem towards others, consideringthem the children of God and the brothers ofJesus Christ" (p. 3). A dignity strongly considered- in the context proper to this end of the 17thcentury ~ as very exacting, in matters connectedwith good manners and civility, to behave demu­rely. "That which contributes most to a demurebehaviour in a person and causes him to be notedfor his modesty, as a wise and weJl-disciplined per­son, occurs when he holds aJl the parts of his bodyin the position which nature or custom has aJlot­ted to them" (p. I); composure and even a certainmajesty are required "there must always be in thebearing of a person a certain amount of gravityand majesty (... ). Only modesty and wisdom whicha Christian must manifest in all his actions canproduce this gravity" (p. 3).

3. THE VOCATION OF THE CHRISTIANIN THE WORLD

The invitation to holiness rings out from thefirst page of the preface. A holiness which is tobe lived in what constitutes in practice the exist­ence of men and women engaged in the world; inthe daily life of individual and social behaviour;from the moment one rises to when he goes tobed, at table, during games, in conversationsand visits, in travel and correspondence. It is apersonal caJl to sanctity and an invitation towork at the sanctification of social and culturalrelationships.

3.l. An invitation to personal sanctity, sinceone needs to live and to behave "according to theSpirit of Jesus Christ" (Pref. p. Is); to act in such away that "The spirit alone animates aJl one's ac­tions, to render them holy and agreeable to God"(Pref. p. II).

3.2. An im1itation to \Vork at the sanctificationqf social and culluralrelationships. J.B. de La SaJleobserves somewhat pessimisticaJly the level ofevangelisation of the Christians of his time: "It is

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surpnslllg that most christians consider goodmanners and civility a purely human and worldlyquality, and without any effort to raise theirthoughts higher, they do not view it as a virtue re­lated to God, to one's neighbour and to ourselves"(pref. p. I). These motives need to redirected andsubmitted to the judgement of the Scriptures: par­ents, educators, those to whom the children areentrusted "must never, when teaching them therules of politeness, forget to teach them that theymust be practised only out of purely Christian mo­tives. directed to the glory of God and their salva­tion; and far from telling their charges, that unlessthey do those things they will be reprimanded,that they will be poorly esteemed, that they will belaughed at; these are so many ways which serve toimbue them with a worldly spirit and keep themaway from that of the Gospel" (Pref. p. II s).Which are these "purely Christian motives"? J.B.de La Salle refers the reader to St. Paul and St. Pe­ter: "when they want to encourage them, to leadthem to these exterior practices which concernbodily bearing and modesty, they will be careful todo so reminding them of God's presence, as St.Paul does when writing about the same subject tothe faithful of his time. He warns them that theirmodesty must be seen by all men, because theLord was close to them, that is out of reverencefor God's presence in front of whom they were; ifthey teach them or make them practise good man­ners related to their neighbour, they will exhortthem to show these signs of kindness, honour andrespect only to others as members of Jesus Christand as living temples animated by the Holy Spirit.That is how St. Peter exhorts the first Christianswhen writing to them to love their brothers, andto honour each according to his status, thus show­ing themselves true servants of God, manifestingin this way that it is God that they honour in theperson of their neighbour" (Pref. p. III). PurelyChristian motives, explaining outspokenly theconscious relationship between the three divinePersons, of course, but aiming at behavioural atti­tudes and practices which are genuinely Christian.To intend to behave that way is quite insufficient.J.B. de La Salle underlines clearly the Christian'sresponsibility in the very act of "allowing himselfto he led by the Spirit" "There are few people who(...) behave according to Christ's spirit. Yet it is

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this spirit alone which should animate all our ac­tions to make them holy and pleasing to God; andit is an ohligation of which St. Paul warns us whenhe says to us in the persons of the early Christians,that as we must live in spirit with Christ, so mustwe also behave in everything by this same spiril"(Pref. p. Is). The Christian is not "God's puppet"(K. Barth): The spirit makes available to him free­dom and strength so that he may act according tohis temperament, his creative possibilities and hisheart.

4. THE VIRTUOUS CHARACTEROF EXTERNAL ACTIONS

"... all our external actions, which are the onlyones we can control through our good manners,must always possess and carry with them thestamp of virtue". Without regarding as sacred therelative nature which certain rules of decent be­haviour or of civility may have for J.B. de LaSalle, their practice is never neutral. Nor the rela­tion which it they establish very concretely withGod, with others and with oneself. The rules ofpoliteness and civility are, for him, a manifestationof one's manners which engages the moral realityas well as the spiritual reality of man. The moralreality first. J .B. de La Salle is not one of thosemen of God who run away into passionate mysti­cism or simplistic illuminism. The intensity of thevirtuous effort is considerable in the RB: "All ourexternal actions, the only ones that can be con­trolled by good manners, must always possess andcarry with them the stamp of virtue" (Pref. p. 2)."All our external actions ... must. .. always have".Such radicalism is typically Lasallian. We comeacross it once more in this condemnation, ratherstrong in our view, of those persons who have apoor control over their impressions and allowthem to show on their face: "These persons whoseface changes on every occasion which presents it­self are awkward, and difficult to put up with;at times they evince happiness on their face, atothers they put on a melancholy air, at times theirface rellects worry, at other times eagerness; allthat proves that one lacks virtue, and does notwork hard enough to control one's passions, andthat one's behaviour is entirely human and na-

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tural, and totally devoid of the Christian spmt(p. 12). This passage is interesting, moreover, inthat it points out to us in a nUlshell the means to

discover the virtue which characterises politenessand civility; it renders human relationships moreattractive and facilitates them - it controls pas­sions - a control of self even externally - forreasons which transcend moral or physical sponta­neity.

For J.B. de La Salle, politeness and civility"is" a virtue: he blames "most Christians", as wehave seen, who consider "politeness and civilityjust a purely human and worldly quality" and donot hold it "as a virtue related to God, to one'sneighbour and oneself' (Prer. p. I). A virtuewhich embraces many others. The RB have beenstructured around three of these: modesty, re­spect, affection, "Politeness and civility are there­fore solely made up strictly speaking of the prac­tice of modesty and respect towards one's neigh­bour; and as modesty shows itself in a particularway in the bearing and respect for one's neigh­bour, in ordinary actions which normally takeplace in other people's presence, it has been deci­ded to treat these two things separately. I. Con­cerning the modesty which should be seen in thebearing and the deportment of the various partsof the body. 2. Concerning the external signs ofrespect and particular affection which have to beshown, in the various actions of life, to all thosein front of whom the actions are performed andthose one has to deal with" (Pref. p. VI). Or as isstated in the definition of politeness and civility:modesty, respect, union and charity. "Christiandecorum is therefore a wise and well-ordered be­haviour which is manifested in one's conversa­tions and external actions through a sentiment ofmodesty or of respect, or of union and of charitytowards one's neighbour, paying attention to thetime, the place and the persons with whom oneconverses; this decorum related to one's neigh­bour is properly called civility" (Prer. p. IV). Thelist given hereunder shows at a glance the nu­merous virtues which a Christian must practise inhis bearing or in his interpersonal relationships.They have been listed in three columns corres­ponding to the three "pivotal" virtues, the num­bers indicate how many times each is mentionedin the RB:

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Modesty 45 R,'spect 111 Affediull 6Humility 1 Esteem 13 Gentleness 9Moderation 14 Submission 7 Charity 16Prudence 9 Consideration 20 Union 6Self-Control 16 Deference 4 Friendship 8Visdom 40 Discretion 4 Sweetness 12Circumspection 8 Justice 3 Gratilude 7Simplicity 2 Filial Piety 1 Affability 5Sobriety 5 Fidelity 4Temperance 2 Sincerity 8

4.1. Modesty

It is the virtue which characterises decorum."It is the rule which controls the behaviour of aChrstian in all his exterior actions" (pp. 63s). It isan exacting virtue: nothing exterior eludes mod­esty. The general bearing of the persons, "his ex­pression" (p. I), his control over "every part of thebody" (id.) listed in the various chapters of thefirst part of the R.B.: "From the head to the ears"(II), "Concerning the hair" (Ill), "Concerning theface" (IV), "Concerning the forehead, the eyelidsand the cheeks" (V) ... , "Concerning the back, theshoulders, the arms, and the elbow" (XI), "Con­cerning the knees, the legs and the feet" (XIV)!This modesty controls your every gesture as soonas you get up and follows you in the intimacy ofyour bedroom: "As soon as you are in bed, coverall your body, except the face which must alwaysstay uncovered; you must not, even if in search ofgreater comfort, take up any other position even ifthe excuse of sleeping beller prevails over pro­priety; to draw up your knees is unbecoming, youmust stretch them out, and it is advisable to sleepnow on one side, then on the other; for it is notbecoming to sleep on the stomach" (p. 54). Mod­esty is an art made up of measure and balance: Al­though nothing ought to appear calculated inone's exterior, it is necessary however to controlrigidly all the movements and to plan well thebearing of all the parts of the body" (p. 2). Child­ren and those who have not been brought up inthis manner "in their early childhood, must strivehard to acquire it in a special way, until they be­come accustomed to it and find these practiceseasy and quite nalural" (pp. 2s). It is self­effacement which controls decorum in matter ofclothes. In J.B. de La Salle's view, it has a mean­ing as wide as it is deep: "So that your clothes may

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be modest, you must not allow in them any sign ofluxury or of vanity. To show attachment to one'sclothes and to look for gaudy and sumptuousones, is a sign of vulgarity, and those who do thatdeserve the contempt of any sensible person, butwhat is even more important, is the fact that theygive up the promises made at baptism and theChristian spirit; on the contrary, those who shunthis kind of vain practice show their generosityand nobility of mind; they show, in fact, that theystrive harder at decorating their soul with virtues,than at embellishing their body, and they reveal,through the plainness of their c10thers the wisdomand simplicity of their soul" (p. 64). Lastly, it ismodesty which controls our behaviour duringconversation. The way we speak for example:"Some people are so full of themselves, that theyalways talk to others about what they have doneand what they are doing, and expect others topraise all their words and actions. In conversation,this type of behaviour, puts people off and is aburden to them. To boast and to speak in praiseof oneself is a thing which clashes with the rules ofpropriety; it is also typical of a mean mentality; awise man never speaks of personal things unless heis answering questions put to him; and even thenhe must do so with much moderation, modestyand self-control" (p. 206).

As a virtue characterising a Christian's inti­mate life, modesty is also as a virtue a silent wit­ness, a "silent sermon", as Fran90is de Sales calledit. It must "show itself'. In J.B. de La Salle's view,a Christian "professes modesty" in and throughhis humblest efforts to try to please others. "Aperson who wishes to practise humility and mod­esty and show exteriorly wisdom and self-control,is in duty bound to train his eyes to look gently,peacefully and with self-restraint. Those whom na­ture has not endowed with this asset should en­deavour to correct this defect through a gay andmodest appearence, and not to make their sightmore disagreeable through their neglect" (p. 17).Biblical reference to this is to be found in St. Paul;he it was who warned "the faithful of his time thattheir modesty should be visible to everybody be­cause the Lord was near i.e. out of reverence forGod's presence" (Pref. p. VI). Let us dwell on thisdynamic of faith: a realisation of God's presence- modesty in one's personal behaviour - profes-

sian, an outward manifestation of something spirit­ually practised. The RB specify clearly that theyrefer to the modesty expected of seculars. JohnBaptist de La Salle distinguishes, in fact, availinghimself of all the culture of his time, the modestywhich the clergy and rcligious should practisefrom that which suits those who live "in theworld"; for instance: As it is not becoming to raiseone's eyes too high, it is not becoming for thosewho live in the world to look too far down, forthat suits more a religious than a lay person; cler­ics however, and those who aspire to join them,ought to be seen looking and behaving exteriorlyin a reserved manner. For it behoves decorum, inthose who are already engaged or are preparing tojoin that state of life, to get used to the practice ofmortification of their senses, and to show throughtheir modesty, that being consecrated to God orwishing to be consecrated to God, their mind isabsorbed in him, and in that which concerns him"(p. 18); "You should not fold your arms; for thatis done only by religious, and does not becomeseculars. The most becoming position for yourhands is for them to be in front, slightly leaningagainst the body, and held one against the other"(p. 37). [n this way, whether one is a cleric, a reli­gious or a secular, significant behaviour is neces­sary. Without dwelling on it any further, J.B. deLa Salle reminds the Christians of his time not ofthe examples given by isolated individuals but by acommunity, a Church whose members followingthe steps of St. Paul and "the first centuries"(pp. VI, 65), edified each otber mutually and werean example for non-Christians: living thus asgenuine Christians, behaving exteriorly as JesusChrist and as their profession required Of tbem,tbey will show how different they are from pagansand nominal Christians, for as Tertullian says, theChristians of his time were known and recognisedas such by their exterior and their modesty" (Pref.p. IV).

4.2. Respect

When J.B. de La Salle speaks of respcct, in theR.B., he examines it from two different angles: arespect as behaviour required by moral law andthat which springs from an understanding of themystery which every Christian carries in himself.

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4.2.1. Respect as a dllty commallded by God. Inhis "Devoirs d'un Chretien envers Dieu" (CL 20)La Salle holds respect as one of the duties towardspeople in authority, in accordance with the 4thcommandment of God: "God orders us in his 4thcommandment to honour our father and mother:these names stand for all those who have author­ity over us e.g. fathers, mothers, tutors, guard­ians, godfathers, godmothers, male and femaleteachers, husbands towards their wives, em­ployers, magistrates, bishops and Church pastors(...). Children have five duties towards their par­ents: they must love, respect and obey them (...).Servants of both sexes must respect their mastersand mistresses, love them and obey them (...). Tu­tors are to be loved, honoured, obeyed and lis­tened to willingly (...) Magistrates and secularswielding authority have the same rights as tutorsand others (... ). To love them, respect them, obeythem as to Jesus Christ himself whom they repre­sent, are the duties of the diocesans towards theirbishop, the parishioners towards their parishpriest and subordinates towards their spiritualsuperiors (... j" (pp. 123-129). It is always a ques­tion of respect owed to somebody; a respect whichmay be exacted, even socially. It is proportional,one may say, in its external manifestations, to thedegree of authority of the person who has a rightto it. That is why the R.B. mention 28 times "per­sons to whom respect is due" and ten times "per­sons to whom much respect should be shown".The multiple differences take into account the so­cio-cultural realities of the period. As one may seefrom this passage of the Preface: "One must alsoget to know oneself and what is one's social posi­tion, for whoever is inferior to others is bound toexpress submission to his superiors, either becauseof their position or because of their qualities, andto show them much greater respect than wouldthose who are equal to them in every way. Afanner, for instance, must show greater exteriorrespect for his lord than a tradesman who is not inhis employ, and this tradesman ought to showmuch more deference to this master than toanother gentleman who would visit him" (p. VI).The vocabulary used in this case is revealing: weare in the realm of civility: the important thing is"to show much more respect" to the one than tothe other, "to honour exteriorly" the one more

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than the other. These marks of respect - a typicalLasallian expression - are as varied as the situa­tions and the meetings. Thus, in correspondence:"It is necessary that those (the letters) which areaddressed to one's superiors be very respectful;those addressed to equals, courteous, and evincealways some signs of consideration and respect; asfor those one writes to one's subordinates, theymust contain marks of affection and kindness" (p.243). So, during a visit made or received: "Whenintending to visit a person, to whom one owesconsideration, and to whom one owes respect, onemust wear white linen and clean clothes, for that isa sign of respect; one must also foresee what one isgoing to tell him" (p. 162); if the same person re­turning the visit is of high standing or if much re­spect is owed to him, it is becoming to go to meethim at the entrance, or even before, when one hasbeen warned of his coming, to be able to showhim the very high respect one owes him" (p. 167).A careful reading of the RB leaves sometimes theimpression that every detail has been dealt withminutely - subordinates, equals, superiors - tosuch an extent that any resort to creativity by thevarious characters is non-existent. Quite the oppo­site, an attentive reading of passages such as havejust been quoted makes one aware of the marginof initiative and adaptation which is left to and re­quired of the persons concerned: it is up to themto find the right form of respect, that which suitsthe situation, the relationship between differentsocial classes; it is up to them to see how far theymust go to greet the person who deserves their re­spect. Savoir-vivre is an art, even here. And an artpractised by a Christian...

4.2.2. The respect which arises ji-om the COIl­

scious awareness of the mystery which ellery Christ­iall carries ill himself. Through the sacramentswhich identify us as Christians, we have enteredinto a mysterious privileged relationship with eachof the Persons of the Trinity. In this domain, vari­ous theological expressions exist which J. B. de LaSalle appreciated in a particular manner; they areto be found in his catechism and in his Civility. Inhis Devoirs d'll1l Chretien elH'ers Dietl: "Baplism isa sacrament which wipes out original sin and anysins we have committed before receiving it, whichmakes us children of God, members of Jesus

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Christ and living temples of the Holy Spirit" (...).This sacrament lavishes on the soul an abundantgrace which renders it holy and agreeable to God(...). This grace makes us children of God becausethrough it we have a share in the holiness whichGod possesses by nature and it is in giving it tous that he adopts us as his children (...). Baptismalso opens to the soul that receives it the gates ofheaven which were closed previously and frees itfrom the devils which possessed it: that is what theChurch signifies through the exorcisms which thepriest perfonns over the person who is being bap­tized; the Holy Spirit takes possession of it; henceit is said that through Baptism we become thetemples of the Holy Spirit. We also receive theSpirit of Jesus Christ, and this sacrament unites usin a way so particular and intimate that as soon aswe bave received it, we are considered by God asmembers of his Son become Man" (pp. 211-213).As far as the Eucharist is concerned: "This sacra­ment has some extraordinary effects on our bodiesit sanctifies them through its presence and the can·tact with the body of Our Lord; and it consecratesthem and makes them become effective membersof Jesus Christ; it makes of them living tabernaclesof the Blessed Sacrament and in this way, says Sl.Cyril, we become God-Bearers, carrying JesusChrist in us when we receive his sacred body inour heart" (p. 260). In his RB, J.B. de La Salle re­fers us to these theological and mystical facts tobase on them our respect for ourselves and ourbodies as well as for others and their bodies.

To be "children of God", "members of JesusChrist", "living temples of the Holy Spirit", "liv­ing tabernacles of Jesus Christ..... these are tenetsof our faith that are apt to strengthen'a cultureand a civilisation built on respecl. We are here inthe very heart of the Lasallian message. Let us 'Iis­ten to it: ..... every Christian who wishes to complywith the Gospel precepts ought to show respectand consideration to all the others, seeing in themthe children of God and the brothers of JesusChrist" (p. 3); "mothers and fathers will advisetheir children to give these signs of kindness, re­spect and consideration only as to members ofJesus Christ and living temples animated by theHoly Spirit'· (Pref. p. III). "As we should not can·sider our bodies as anything but living temples,where God wishes to be adored in spirit and in

truth, and as tabernacles which Jesus Christ haschosen for his dwelling. we must also in view ofthe fine qualities which they possess, show themmuch respect; and it is this consideration whichshould prompt us in a particular way not to touchthem and not even to look at them unless that isabsolutely necessary" (p. 43); "Neglect in dressingproves that one does not pay sufficient attentionto God's presence and that one does not respecthim sufficiently; it also shows that one does nothave enough consideration for one's body, whichhowever should be treated as the living temple ofthe Holy Spirit, and the tabernacle where JesusChrist is kind enough to stay with us often"(pp. 61 s).

4.3. Affection, union, charity

The words which J.B. de La Salle uses to de­fine the third axis round which revolve the RB are,as we have seen, "affection'\ uunion" and "cha­rity". For a good understanding of what eachword stands for, we gain to look once more at theLasallian catechism, Les Devoirs d'lIl1 Chretien. Aswith "modesty", as with urespect", affection, un­ion, charity, need to find their place in a spiritualrather than in a moral, perhaps even mystic, con­texl. For instance, when the author of the RBspeaks of affections, he give us to understand thathe is not referring to "natural affection", but toaffections such a Jesus Christ would have. If hementions union and charity, he is alluding to thosethat the Holy Spirit spreads in hearts.

4.3.1. A//ectioll. The transfonnation which thepresence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist 'operatesin us affects primarily our affections before in­fluencing our whole moral conduct: such is theLasallian doctrine expressed in Les Del'oirs d'WIChretiell: "When Jesus Christ instituted this sacra·ment, he manifested to us his love, in a mannervery peculiar, for in it he unites us to him but in amuch more intimate and excellent fashion thancan ever be imagined, giving himself to us as food,which is the most intimate union in nature; hedoes not transform himself into us, but changes usin him, as far as he can, through the reception ofthis sacrament, through changing, not our sub­stance, but our affections and our habits, in order

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to make them conformable to his own" (pp. 249s).In this manner, "Ollr affections and our behav­iour", all that in one way or another has to dowith civility and good manners, are made to con­form with the affections and morals of JesusChrist, when welcoming the love with whichChrist gives himself in this sacrament. The authorof the Rules of Decorum and Christian Civility isnot mistaken: Christians so renewed are not theonly ones we meet with in everyday life. There arealso those "who, when in company speak of noth­ing else but what they like, and sometimes even ofthings that are rather very private; if they love adog, a cat, a bird, or some other animal, they willnot refrain from making it constantly the topic ofthe conversation; they will even talk to it in thepresence of others, and will sometimes interruptthe conversation for that purpose; that may evennot prevent them from paying attention to what theothers are saying (...) (pp. 209s). A moral effortis necessary: "To show melancholy or despondencyon one's face is not becoming; nor should oneevince passion or some other dissolute affection"(p. II); "If one has to look at a person, he must doso in a natural, gentle and honest manner, so that,in his looks, there will not be any evidence of dis­ordinate passion or affection" (p. 19). On theother hand, to "show" "external signs" of affec­tion, "in the different actions of one's life to allthose in whose presence one does them, and withwhom one has to deal" (PreL, p. VI), presumesthat one is careful to observe the rules and cus­toms required by the socia-cultural milieu inwhich one evolves. So that, according to the RB,one shows signs of affection only "towards subor­dinates"; after having received some kindnessfrom someone, we show our gratitude "and ourdebt to him, expressing our affection and fidelityin his service" (p. 225). And concerning the hand­shake: "It is never becoming for a person whoowes consideration towards another, to offer hishand as a sign of his esteem or affection; it wouldbe a serious lack of the respect due to that personand a mark of undue familiarity; if however a highranking person, or one who is superior, places hishand in that of the other who is of lesser qualityon inferior, the latter should deem it an honourand should immediately offer his hand and wel­come this favour as a notable sign of goodwill and

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kindness" (p. 40). It is fair to add that Christianfreedom may go beyond the "rule" and the "cus­tom" and allow novelty to invade the very heart ofcivil relationships: "When someone talks dispara­gingly about someone in public, etiquette de­mands that his shortcomings be excused and thaithe listeners would somehow speak well of him;turn the conversation to his advantage and thatsome action of his be praised; that is the way todraw other people's affection and to make oneselfpleasant in society" (p. 196)... pleasant to every­body, agreeable to God!

4.3.2. Union and charity. When in his Devoirsd'lIll elIrMell J.B. de La Salle deals with "DeI'obligation que nous avons d'aimer Ie prochain"(pp. 98ss), he first refers to the double command­ment of the Gospel: "We should not be satisfiedwith pleasing God, we must also love our neigh­bour: it is the second commandment of the Lawwhich Our Lord puts forward and it is similar tothe first, because it forms part of it; for as St. Johnsays, whoever does not love his brother whom hesees, how could he love God whom he does notsee?". This is a typical Lasallian trait, this preoc­cupation to link the love of neighbour with that ofGod.

Even though this love of neighbour is notequal towards everybody: "When we say that weshould love our neighbour, we mean that weshould love all men who are close to us and ourbrothers, since they are all begotten by the sameFather; however, we need not love them in equalmanner; some we are obliged to love more thanothers, and those are true Christians who live ac­cording to the Law and the maxims of JesusChrist; for they belong to us in a much more parti­cular way than other men, since they are ourbrothers through a divine birth which they re­ceived at baptism which made them children ofGod, whilst other men are only our brothersthrough a birth which is purely natural and human".

This "obligation" to love "more than others"those who are our brothers in the faith is bindingon all, not only from the moral point of view, butas a way of opening ourselves to and welcomingthe Holy Spirit; the "union" which is called for isin reality of a mystic nature: "We have also con­tracted another union much stronger with Christ-

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ians. which consists in that we are all members ofJesus Christ and of Lhe Church and that we form asingle body witb them: "it is the Holy Spirit whoby animating the Church produces this unionamong the faithful, and binds all very closely to­gether in Jesus Christ". What repercussions maythese texts have on the RB? It goes without sayingthat J.B. de La Salle does not forget that he iswriting a treatise on civility for a modest public:Lhe children of working class people and the poor,Lheir parents, the male and female teachers of Lhepopular schools. He limits himself to what is prac­tical and shuns long humanist or theological con­siderations. However, he does not lower his cul­tural and pastoral aim. The meaning he gives togestures of friendship is significant.

The hand shake: "To place one's hand 111

another's to show one's civility is a proof offriendship and particular union towards that per­son. For that reason, this should be done ordinar­ily only by people of the same social rank, sincefriendship can only exist between persons of thesame standing who are in no way inferior orsuperior Lo one another" (p. 40). The kiss: the kissis another way of greeting a person. It too is doneordinarily between people who are in some wayrelated and enjoy a particular friendship. It wasvery common in the primitive Church, among thefaithful, who used it as a very tangible sign of theirintimate union, and of perfect love; thus Sl. Peterexhorts the Romans, and all those to whom hewrites, to welcome one anotber" (p. 169); visits:"Christian decorum is inspired by chariLy whenduring a visit you contribute to the salvation of aneighbour in whatever way possible. or render himsome temporal service, pay him your -respect ifyou are of a lower rank than he or maintain withhim a truly Christian union" (p. 160).

As for Charity, he one must know how to bedelicate: "When someone says or does somethingwhich should not have been said, if one noticesthat the speaker did so in an off-guarded moment,and that he feels embarrassed when he thinks ofhimself or of what he said, one must pretend tohave noticed nothing and if he excuses himself, itwould be prudent and charitable to interpret theincident in a favourable light. Do not poke fun atwhoever says something unreasonable and stillless treat him with disdain; for what he says may

not have been fully understood. Finally, it is unbe­coming of a sensible person to humiliate anyone"(p. 203); then again: "Referring to other people'simperfections, these are either innate. or are ac­quired. If they are natural, it is unworthy of a sen­sible and honest person to laugh at them or usethem as entertainment, since he suffers from them,is not responsible for their existence and can donothing to eliminate them, and such a thing couldhave happened to anyone; if these imperfectionsare harmful, it is not charitable to laugh at them,that being most uncharitable and contrary to theChristian spirit, which should rather show com­passion in that case and help others to correctthemselves than use them as a source of entertain­ment (pp. 134s).

Let us dwell on this lasl point: ''The Christianspirit suggests rather Lo have compassion ... and tohelp others to correct themselves...". Here again,we find ourselves in the very heart of the Lasallianmessage conveyed by the RB. As we have alreadystated, just as he wanted his schools to be "Christ­ian", so J.B. de La Salle wishes his rules of goodmanners and civility to be "Christian". Christianbecause they are to be practised by Christians whoare such not only "in name" (Pref., p. IV).

Christians who aware, of course, of socio­cultural situations thaI are at times quite complex,"noting the time, the place and the persons withwhom you speak, as the Preface says (p. IV), butaware also of the Mystery they bear witness to. Aquestion one may ask is: How can one acquire this"Christian spirit", which in a given situation suchas here, when confronted with the scandal causedby "vicious" habits, prompts us to feel sponta­neously sentiments genuinely evangelical - in thiscase, compassion and a desire to help the person tocorrect himself? What brings about this sensitivitywhich focusses our minds spontaneously on thatwhich "pleases God"?.. The fine expositionswhich J,B. de La Salle consecrates to visits which"decorum imposes on all seculars" may point outin which direction to look for an answer. In short,let us say that this education which is first a con­versation of our sensitivity, is the result of a con­templative attitude towards the saints, and espe­cially towards Jesus Christ, he who representsman's relationship with the Father, with himselfand with others. Here it is necessary to focus our

lSI

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attention and reflection "to know well and dis­cern" what one should do. "Even the Most Bless­ed Virgin, although she lived a very retired life,.paid a visit to her cousin Elizabeth, and it wouldseem that the holy Gospel relates this in some de­tail precisely so that this example may serve as amodel for us. Jesus Christ also paid visits out ofsimple charity, since he was certainly not obligedto do so.

To understand clearly and to ascertain cor­rectly the occasions when we should make visits,we must be convinced that Christian decorumshould be governed in this matter only by justiceand charity and that it obliges us to make visitsonly out of necessity, to show someone a token ofour respect, or to cultivate union and charity. (... l

"It was always for one or other of these rea­sons and with some such motive in mind that OurLord Jesus Christ acted in all the visits he made.He did so to convert some soul to God, as whenhe visited Zacheus; to raise the dead to life, aswhen he went to Saint Martha's house after thedeath of Lazarus and when he accepted the invita­tion of the chief of the synagogue; and to cure thesick, as when he went to St. Peter's house and tothe Centurion's house. He performed all these mi­racles only to win hearts to God or as a token offriendship and good will as in the last visit hemade to Saints Martha and Mary Magdalene"(pp. 159-161).

CONCLUSION

The character of the RB, extremely well situat­ed historically, especially on the socio-cultural

level, does not invite Christians for whom thebook was meant, to "copy" the Saints or JesusChrist, or to "tack" Christians intentions on toany kind of behaviour. This has been noted allthrough the preceding pages. J. B. de La Salle'saim is not to create facsimiles, but disciples ofJesus Christ animated by the Holy Spirit. Could itbe said that the RB is a "spiritual manual" for useby seculars in the early XVlIIth century? Whynot? In any case, it certainly challenges us, laypeople living in the closing years of the XXth cen­tury. Doesn't its message tie up with that of theapostolic exhortation Christi Fideles Laid. on thevocation and mission of lay people in the Churchand in the world: "The vocation of lay people to alife of holiness, reqnires that life according to theSpirit express itself particularly in involvement intemporal realities and in participation in earthlyactivities. The Apostle himself invites us to do it:"Whatsoever you say, whatsoever you do let it bedone in the name of Jesus Christ, offering throughHim your thanksgiving to God the Father" (Col.3,17). Applying the words of the Apostle to the layfaithful, the Council firmly asserts: "Neither thecare of the family, nor temporal business mustkeep them away from spiritual matlers". Accord­ing to them, the Fathers of the Synod have de­clared: "Cohesion between the spiritual and thetemporal in the life of the lay faithful is extremelyimportant; they must, in fact, sanctify themselvesin their ordinary existence, be it professional orsocial. In order to correspond favorably to theircalling, the lay faithful must therefore considertheir daily life as an opportunity to seek unionwith God and accomplish his will, as well as serveother men, leading them to communion with Godin Jesus Christ" (para. 17).

Complementary Themes:

Love-Charity; Christian; Commandments 01 God; Conversation; Duties of a Christian; Duties­Obligations; Edification; Spirit of Christianity; Spirit of the World; Maxims of the World; Mass­Eucharist; Modesty; World, Relationship with the World; Mystery.

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Bro. Jean PUNGIER

Translatedfrom French by Bro. James CALLEJA