15 Affirming Articles to Motivate and Encourage You
Transcript of 15 Affirming Articles to Motivate and Encourage You
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15 Affirming Articles to
Motivate and Encourage you.
Written by:
Marty BoneIdol
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About the author:
Marty BoneIdol
A father to 3 children and husband to Christine.
My full time work involves supporting the vulnerable through coaching in
group work and one to one session.
I am also a musician and play trombone, currently with Beggars' Belief, a
7 piece band that plays original material in various gendre including Ska,
Reggae, R&B, Rock, Blues, Soul.
I have been writing since 2006 and was formally featured with Yahoo 360.
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Table of contents
1. How to keep a Positive Frame of Mind.
2. Take Action.
3. Accept positive praise and feedback when it is given.
4. What is the Truth.
5. Learning and Attraction.
6. Faulty All or Nothing Thinking.
7. More on Language Use.
8. You are Alive!
9. The Incredible reason why you exist.
10. Use Memories Positively.
11. Who are You?
12. Choose to accept your natural ability to heal.
13. Proof that the body can naturally heal.
14. A sure fire way to prepare your goals.
15. Finally, a Powerful Exercise to Seal your Future.
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1. How to keep a positive frame of mind.
Keeping positive in self development is essential. The first and
most important lesson here is to learn to file emotions in
appropriate places. If you are feeling sad, down or depressed,
there is no use in trying to deny it.
You can choose to take action.
All feelings and emotions are normal. They are granted to us at
birth for a reason, so we can choose to make positive use of
them. Identify what the emotion is and what is going on in your
body. Remember that whatever is happening is normal.
Recognise and accept that your heart is pounding.
Recognise and accept that you may feel physically sick.
Recognise and accept that you want to cry.
Recognise and accept that you feel uncomfortable.
Recognise and accept panic.
Recognise and accept that thoughts are rushing through
your mind.
Recognise and accept that your energy, both physically and
mentally is drained right now.
You might want to write down or record the above feeling or any
others that you identify. The powerful point of this process is
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that identifying and naming the elements of the stress uncovers
the mystery. When you can see your enemy you can target it
and go on the offensive to deal with it. You can put it
somewhere in your minds filing cabinet to deal with logically
when the time is right. One way of looking at this is to imagine
the what you are feeling is, a room with filing cabinets turned
upside down with papers in a mess everywhere. You can choose
to open the door to the room, pick up a couple of sheets,
identify where they belong, file them in an appropriate place
then leave the room and lock it until the next time you open that
door. Over time, there will be less and less mess to deal with
and you'll feel like you have achieved something. This will fuel a
positive mind by creating evidence that you can make progress.
Try it and and see what happens.
If you still feel bad, I encourage you to seek the assistance of a
counsellor or some one to one coaching. Someone that will listen
to you and help you to find those solutions that are within you.
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2. Take action.
Take action right now! That piece of action can be as small as
you can manage. It may simply be reading the next few
paragraphs of this book. If you stop where you are, that is
where you will remain. Now sometimes we need to stop and
catch breath. Sometimes we need to be self indulgent and feel
sorry for ourselves. Believe me, there is nothing wrong in that
provided we move on. Children have a massive advantage over us
on this subject. Very young children naturally know how to
express emotion and sulk. They also quickly process the emotion
and can link into fun and laughter again. If you have a domestic
pet, you'll see the very same. Let's not get too over intellectual
about this. It is a process and it works.
Here are a couple of analogies for you to consider: -
Life is like the game snakes and ladders. Sometimes we
climb ladders and sometimes we land on snakes.
Occasionally we land on that long snake from square 97
down to square 2. It feels like we are back at the beginning
but believe me, it never is. Keep rolling the dice. Those that
get stuck where they are, forget that simply process of
rolling the dice.
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I've demonstrated this successfully in a group. Hold a
tennis ball in your hand and bend your knees. After a while
you'll feel uncomfortable. If you drop the ball it will
bounce. If you throw the ball down it will bounce higher. If
you bounce the ball and aim it for a bucket on a shelf you'll
have a focused goal. The point is that taking action by
bouncing the ball and hitting rock bottom is action. The
harder you hit rock bottom, the higher you will bounce
back. However, when you bounce back with direction, you'll
be aiming for successfully landing in that bucket. You might
miss it first time. You might miss it several times, but with
each attempt, you'll get closer and eventually you'll land in
the bucket. Your life has an unlimited supply of tennis balls.
Use them!
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3. Accept positive praise and feedback when it is given.
This is a true gift. We are experts at giving praise and
affirmation to others. These people are usually the famous. Film
stars, authors, successful business people, pop and rock icons,
leaders, teachers, people that perform super human feats.
What is their motivation for doing what they do?
If they did not receive some sort of recognition, they would not
do it. Sadly, some find it hard to accept the affirmations and
are filled with self doubt despite the recognition they receive.
I challenge you to accept the affirmations you receive when you
get them however small that may appear to you. If you have got
this far in reading my book, then I praise you for achieving your
desire to seek self improvement. You have tenacity to get this
far! You are choosing to learn. Take some credit for your
positivity. Now you have done that, recognise that you can
accept affirmations from others.
If someone has written you a letter or email of praise and
thanks for something you have done, keep is as a most precious
gift. It is equivalent to an Olympic gold medal, a diamond
encrusted ring or a 24 carat golden trophy. The individual words
are the precious and rare treasure gems that are yours to own.
Fully accept your gift with grace and thankfulness. Keep it safe
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and protected. Go look at it regularly and enjoy it!
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4. What is the truth?
This is the most ancient of questions that continues to be
asked. It is a question asked in many ancient and modern texts.
It is written that Pontius Pilate asked Jesus What is the
truth? I'll go on to mention the somewhat frivolous example of
the Douglas Adams book The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy
where the question is asked about life, the universe and
everything.
The truth is our own perception of life as we see it. That is
what makes us all unique. We can choose to listen to perceived
wisdom and accept or reject it. We have been granted that
choice with our intellect. From that notion, we can set our
personal boundaries. We may choose to influence others, but to
enforce that influence, if we are not careful can be folly indeed!
The world is full of enforcers. Look where that has got us.
Here's a process: - Listen, evaluate and decide for yourself
what is best for you as an individual. If it is not working, then
maybe you are out of alignment with your truth.
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5. Learning and Attraction.
If we learn to love ourselves, it will enable us to love others and
attract others to love us.
If we learn to forgive ourselves, we learn to forgive others and
others will be attracted to forgiving us our shortcomings.
If we learn to care about ourselves, we learn how to care
effectively for others and others will be attracted to caring for
us.
If we learn to laugh at ourselves, we learn to laugh at others
appropriately and we are attracted to laughter and comedy.
If we learn to be truthful to ourselves, we learn to speak the
truth and others will be attracted to the truth we speak.
If we learn to be in touch with and understand our emotions, we
learn to understand the emotions of others and develop
appropriate empathy. Others will be attracted to trust us.
If we learn to have purpose in our life, we learn to understand
the purpose in the lives of others and they become attracted to
supporting our purpose.
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6. Faulty all or nothing thinking.
Be aware of what influences how you think and how you use
language. Words we use can have a blocking and negative effect
upon our lives. They can be self defeating.
We make a choice to accept or reject what we hear. It affects
whether we become motivated, the nature of that motivation
and what drives it.
I ask you to consider a statement I'm certain you will have
experienced in the past.
" You always ..........." "You never ........." (enter whatever negative
piece of feedback you received).
Consider your reaction to the statement.
An example of a statement made to a child or young person.
"What are you doing? Why haven't you done as I asked? You are
just lazy and selfish."
The young person chooses how to react to this statement.
He/she may choose to accept that accusation in its entirety.
This may cause de-motivation and depression. Self talk comes in
"I am lazy and selfish. I am a bad person. I am not worthy of
love and acceptance."
There may also be anger. This anger may motivate in a negative
fashion.
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" You think I'm lazy and selfish? I'll show you how lazy and
selfish I can be. I'm going to shock you by proving how much you
have underestimated how lazy and selfish I am!"
This is a kind of rejection of the accusation made because the
person didn't believe the "lazy, selfish" label put on them, but
felt unable to counter this, so chose to become the label, and
some!
This is likely what causes rebellion in teenagers. The person
loses a sense of "self" and becomes something they are not.
Self esteem plummets.
In the book The Lord of the Rings, we can see this in action.
Smeagal finds the ring and chooses to believe the lies it tells
him. He becomes Gollum. This is the personality that has been
fragmented. Gollum is consumed with selfishness and carries
the burden of the ring. It affects him so badly that even when
he loses it, he is unable to find his true self. The ring has
enormous power. The greater the power of it's opposite, the
more powerful it will become if it is accepted. Gandalf
suspected this when he went to pick up the ring that Bilbo
dropped.
From another scene in the film (or book). Smeagal/Gollum is
haunted by his negative self talk.
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"Smeagal. I told you he was tricksy."
Smeagal had begun to re-discover himself, but fell foul of his
negative self talk, Gollum.
A way of approaching this problem is by investigating what is
really going on when we receive what we perceive to be negative
feedback.
Is it true in its entirety? (Unlikely)
Is there some element of truth?
What do I accept and what can I learn?
This is another filing exercise. There is the process of disposing
that which is not useful to us and does not belong to us. Those
documents need shredding. We can choose to filter what is
useful to us and file it appropriately for use in a positive fashion
for our life ahead.
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7. More on Language use.
The use of language is complex to say the least. Stating the
obvious, children learn by what they hear and as they get older
they learn to understand. Children also learn by copying what
they see and hear.
There comes a time in our lives when we feel stuck. We seek
answers to aspects of our lives and can at times get lost in the
mire of so much influence, or in some cases so much choice.
To continue to develop on an emotional level, there is sometimes
a need to break old habits and dispose of what is not useful. We
can compare this to nature when growing a tree. In order for it
to flourish, grow broad as well as tall and to bear fruit, some
careful pruning is needed.
Here is how we can change our interpretation of language.
Consider these two statements:
You did that on purpose!
You did that with a purpose
The meanings are the same, but the emotions in the two are
different.
That first statement tends to get used in a negative sense. For
me, in generates a vision of 2 siblings having an argument about
who has control of a game. One of them becomes frustrated and
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lashes out or breaks something belonging to the other out of
anger and frustration, resulting in the reply You did that on
purpose!
Consider what you are doing right now.
Are you doing it with a purpose?
Do you have a focus for your life?
When using the word purpose it is possible to re-frame its use
from the negative to the positive. It is a powerful word fuelled
with emotion and energy.
You have permission to choose which direction you follow when
using words fuelled with emotion and energy.
I encourage you to choose to consider the words and language
you use throughout your day. You might want to catch yourself
in what you say or think.
Work out what the emotion is.
Make a note of that emotion.
Is it positive or is it negative?
Do the statements, words, phrases, sentences, language you use
drain your emotional (and subsequent physical) energy or do you
feel positive, motivated and energised?
Sometimes, anger needs to be expressed. There is a time and
place for that. The overall evaluation to consider is Does my
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expressed anger help and assist me? If that anger is
expressed and let go, can you then move on and fill the void
created with some new, positive and energised thought?
Having an understanding and awareness of the use of language
assists us in managing our emotions appropriately. We are
entitled to have emotions, so feeling sad, tearful, angry, happy,
joyful, ecstatic (you may think of other emotions not listed
here) are acceptable. What is useful here is how you use your
understanding of the emotion for a clear and useful purpose.
Or, you may choose to consider some simplicity in the matter
and observe how children manage their emotions. Well adjusted
children express their emotions openly. If they are upset, they
are very quickly (within minutes, seconds even) able to move on
with a new focus bearing no grudges about what has happened. I
have even witnessed evidence of this in vulnerable teenagers
that I have worked with when they would fall out and express
intention to seriously hurt a peer. I would in some cases
encourage the victim to take legal action against the
perpetrator, only to discover they would be best friends again
in a matter of days!
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8. You are alive!
There is a reason for this. It is a mission. Are you going to
choose to accept it?
The fact that we all exist as human beings must have some
reason. We have choice to a large degree in what we do with our
lives, even if that is simply how we choose to think.
So...... we can choose to decide that our life has some meaning.
Lets face it, why not? If we choose not to, then the future will
seem pretty bleak and we will simply be submissive to whatever
the world throws at us.
If you are reading this, be aware that you chose to read it. You
made a conscious decision to do so. The page did not choose you,
you chose it! You exercised your power of choice. If someone is
reading this to you, you have chosen to listen to it. We have the
power to determine so many parts of our lives.
Make a decision about today.
Make a decision about tomorrow.
Do this in the clear knowledge that you CAN determine your
future, whatever that may be.
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9. The incredible reason why you exist.
How do you see the purpose of your life?
Do you see yourself as someone of significance or do you think
that you are alive just by some sort of accident?
These are questions that cause all sorts of debate and
argument, particularly with regard to Religious debates. Im
not going into that here.
I strongly feel this is important for you to consider and
evaluate!
The fact that we exist is the result of desire and passion. It
doesnt matter which way you look at it or where the energy of
MOTIVATION comes from, it IS the result of those to key
words. DESIRE and PASSION.
If you want to get an idea of how passionate I feel, check the
video I have produced for my Life Chapters Coaching Page.
click here.
Desire and passion have ENERGY, both physical and emotional.
Now dont get me wrong. Im no scientific expert. My words
simply come from inspirational thought. It just happened!
The whole point is, are we going to waste the energy that is in
us generated from the passion and desire that created us or are
we going to make positive use of it?
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It seems to be pretty obvious that millions of people choose to
waste that energy on worry, stress and giving up on dreams and
aspirations. We all have the opportunity to use that fantastic
and miraculous energy created for us. It is indeed the ultimate
gift in our lives.
Step up to the plate today. Hold your head high with the
knowledge of the truth in the energy created for you out of
desire. If you hold a spiritual belief, you likely attribute that
energy and desire granted by God, or however you have the
right to perceive ....
Humanity is there to help.
To help friends, family, strangers, take care of animals and
creatures, look after the environment, explore, gain wisdom,
inspire, multiply, love........ (Im sure youll think of many more.)
Do you get my passion?
Are you able to feed off that passion?
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10. Use your memories positively.
There are many memories that we have, some pleasant and some
we would rather forget. Trying to ignore painful memories does
not serve us well. They are still there under the surface and can
contaminate the rest of our lives if we don't deal with them
appropriately. By visiting those memories, we have the chance to
set ourselves free from the pain and achieve life goals.
Are you prepared to use your memories as a tool to help you
grow?
Do you want to live the rest your life in "Millionaire" style with
emotional freedom and success? This does not only refer to
finances alone. Wealth (as in money) is not the most important
aspect. If you choose spiritual wealth and wealth of attitude
and gratitude, then finances may well come to you as a gift.
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11. Who are you?
"Who is the child with no voice?
lost and unseen,
A watermark of tear,
full of fear,
neglected and broken,
missing and unknown,
who will atone?
Where is the space,
full of grace,
to heal....
Who is the child?............................."
I wrote this some while ago during a particular challenging time.
There is great benefit in crying out for help. The benefit of
evaluating this now is that I realize that I had completely lost
my sense of identity for a while. This loss of identity is the root
cause of low self esteem and low confidence. It had been there
for a long time, but I could not see that root cause. I was
fortunate enough to have a small amount of strength to work
through the pain and get on the journey of re-discovering
myself. This continues to be an ongoing process and the journey
is now rolling along at speed on a clear run.
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If you feel lost, you have a divine right to cry out and ask for
help. When you get to that point, you simply have nothing to
lose. The good news is that humanity does provide that help.
There is always someone with a conscience who will make that
step. Keep seeking. Embrace that desire.
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12. Choose to accept your natural ability heal.
If you cut your finger, you will notice that the blood will clot,
dry and seal the wound. Eventually, a scab will form and as the
body naturally replaces itself, the wound will fully heal. This
happens to a greater or lesser extent according to how healthy
we are in general.
It is worth noting that our bodies are designed to heal as part
of a natural process. We have the ability to actively allow this
natural process to happen. It is the brain and mind that controls
the body in the first instance. Our brain is the computer that
ensures our heart continues to beat and that our blood
continues to flow. Our body needs the sustenance of healthy
food and water as maintenance.
In the same way, we can choose to feed our minds with healthy
information. Our healthy mind can assist our body in the natural
healing process. A healthy and well fed body will assist our mind
to attract positive thoughts.
One way we can choose to balance our mind with an appropriate
amount of positive thought is to use meditation.
You can choose to try meditation. This can compliment
traditional treatments such as medication for illnesses. This is
not an attempt to give you false hope; it is to inform you that
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you can allow yourself to try something different and be open
minded enough to see if it works for you.
Why not try tapping into your bodys natural ability to heal?
There are many, many articles written on this subject going
back thousands of years. So why have I chosen to write about
this subject as well? By doing so, I believe I am renewing the
core message with fresh energy as others have done before me.
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13. Proof that the body can naturally heal.
Have you ever experienced that moment of feeling particularly
unwell with all the symptoms enhanced?
Have you then suddenly felt miraculously better the moment
you have called your doctor and made an appointment, followed
by the symptoms almost disappearing the moment you actually
visit the doctor? Theres a temptation to put it on a bit to
justify the reason for calling the doctor in the first place.
That wishful thinking I suspect can actually make the illness
worse, simply by calling it into being.
It generates a bit of guilt doesnt it.
In truth, that the mere action of doing something about it
(calling the doctor) triggers our bodies natural response to heal.
Somehow, we have some sort of faith that we will be healed
because we have apportioned some of the responsibility onto
someone else the doctor. Without realising it, we have set
ourselves a goal I must call the doctor followed by actions
making that call. Its a simple and natural process.
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14. A sure fire way to prepare your goals.
Businesses and organisations that seek to be successful and
professional generally have a mission statement. If they have a
policy and procedure manual, I've no doubt that when they
developed it, they started with a mission statement. I've
worked where there has been attention to this. During those
times, I was pretty cynical and failed to see the relevance.
There was rebellion in me for being forced to comply to an
extent.
A couple of years ago, I had a revelation about the purpose of a
mission statement. It certainly is a GOAL.
I've done some research on some corporate missions
statements.
WAL-MART
"Our mission is to enhance and integrate our supplier diversity
programs into all of our procurement practices and to be an
advocate for minority and women owned businesses"
OK. So cool! Wal-Mart has a mission statement. Consider
whether you fully understand the meaning of the statement.
Now try another.
The online store AMAZON
"Our vision is to be earth's' most customer centric company, to
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build a place where people can come to find and discover
anything they might want to buy online"
Is this one easier or harder to understand? I'll leave you to
decide.
A lack of understanding of a mission statement can cause the
workforce to have a lack of direction, purpose and motivation.
Individuals (particularly managers) can be in danger of focussing
too much upon day to day running, reports, procedures and box
ticking exercises. These are of course important, but may not
necessarily have a conscious and subconscious link to the
foundations of a clear mission statement.
So referring back to goals, we can choose to apply a personal
mission statement to our lives. This will give us purpose,
motivation, direction and energy. It will also build self
confidence and self esteem.
Do you have a personal mission statement?
If so, can you write it down in language that you and others
understand?
If you do this, I'm suggesting that you will discover a life goal. I
challenge you to work out what your life mission is and to
develop a statement for it. Once you have done this, check to
see if your current goals are compatible with your mission
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statement. Don't worry if they are not. Goals can be a "work in
progress". In other words, they can be amended and don't have
to be the final product. You can choose to fine tweak them.
Now in order to practice this for myself, I'm going to write a
draft personal mission statement.
"To live a life of joy and purpose. To continue to learn to accept,
respect and be kind to myself so that I can successfully accept,
respect and be kind to others. To Motivate, Encourage,
Empower and Trust others. To enjoy the gift of humour and to
laugh often by not taking myself too seriously. To recognise
that all aspect of life have natural balance; so allow nature to
perform that balance".
Now it is your turn.
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15. Finally, a powerful exercise to seal your future
So... You have got this far in the book. I'm guessing that you
haven't skipped too much.
This is an exercise that I have tried in different ways. I
experienced the positives for myself and seen positive results
for others. This is a wisdom builder!
This will take no more than half an hour of your time.
Here is what you need: -
1. An A4 sheet of paper and a pen.
2. An envelope.
3. Use of a calendar or diary.
4. A lit candle and a coin, or something that will make an
impression. (not strictly necessary)
Now the instructions: -
Write your full name and todays date at the top of the sheet
of paper.
VERY IMPORTANT!
Do NOT share the following content you write with anybody.
You might want to imagine interviewing a little version of
yourself sitting opposite you as you carry out the exercise,
recording the answers.
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NOTE: I Give credit to Steven Aitchison for inspiration in designing this
exercise.
Write down 3 things you love to do.
Write down 3 career goals or jobs you would love to do.
Write down 3 of your best talents (Dont be shy!)
Write down 3 things people say you are good at.
Write down 3 things you want to learn.
Write down 3 things you want to leave behind in your life.
With regard to your talents (that Im guessing some of you may
find difficult) be aware that talents may be the very simple
things in life such as being able to cook a meal or make a drink
or being a good friend to somebody.
If you can think of more than 3 things in each case, write down
the 3 FIRST things that come into your head. Dont change
them!
When you have done this, put it in an envelope, write your name
on it and write a date six months onward from the date you
have completed the exercise.
Seal the envelope and sign across the fold.
If you have a lit candle, drip the candle wax across the fold of
the envelope and make an impression with something like a coin
or ideally something that is precious to you. A ring perhaps. Be
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careful with the lit candle!
Place the envelope in a safe place hidden away somewhere.
Write in your diary or calendar an entry for 6 months onward
reminding you to open your envelope. Ensure you record the safe
place you have stored it!
You may be wondering why I have asked you not to share the
content with anyone. This is deliberate because I want you to
ensure that you are not influenced by how you may perceive
others may judge what you have written. It must not be
influenced by any other outside influence. This will help you to
get in touch with your true self.
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If you have found the contents of this book use and are interested in some
one to one coaching, you can contact me via the following email address:
You can also search and contact me on Skype as: marty_boneIdol
Wishing you every success and blessing
Marty
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]