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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Dialogue:PersuadeNegotiateLearnEffective Dialogue is an ethical relationship

Reflects an ethical attitude toward others and a commitment to shared solutions.

“Right” opinions but how we engage in such issues.

Fruitless Debate A. Take All the Room You CanB. Separate and PolarizeC. Exploit all Weaknesses or OpeningsD. Go for the Quick Kill

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

What’s Wrong with That?

Think Constructively1. Ineffective at Persuasion More Domination and Silence2. Don’t Expand or Develop Ideas No Avenue to Improve the Idea Prevents Effective Brainstorming

Debate is Not Ethical to Values, Arguments or Concepts: Listening Open-mindedness Cooperation Careful Responsible Respect Honor Fairness Common Ground

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

How to Have a Useful Discussion/Dialogue

Seek First to Understand, Then to be UnderstoodApplying Shared values

Rules for Constructive Talking1. Slow Down and Listen- a. Speak calmly and listen a lot b. Avoid the automatic comeback. No,…yeah buts c. Take a deep breath d. Start with, “Let me see if I understand you…” e. Ask questions and mean them f. Restate the other person’s view and ask of the same for you

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

How to Have a Useful Discussion/Dialogue

Seek First to Understand, Then to be UnderstoodApplying Shared values

Rules for Constructive Talking2. Connect a. Seek common ground b. Recognize complexity c. Don’t polarize: Avoid simply yes and no d. Keep the “main thing the main thing”, stay focus on the issue e. Help clarify and develop their thoughts f. Avoid distractions g. Identify key points of agreements not differences h. Integrate values

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

How to Have a Useful Discussion/Dialogue

Seek First to Understand, Then to be UnderstoodApplying Shared values

Rules for Constructive Talking3. Welcome Openings and Opportunities a. Look for first steps and partial measures b. Think constructively c. Make suggestions d. Always be for something not just against something

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

How to Have a Useful Discussion/Dialogue

Seek First to Understand, Then to be UnderstoodApplying Shared values

Rules for Constructive Talking4. Stay Engaged a. Think of discussion as a collaboration in search of better

understanding and creative ideas. b. Speak in a careful, open-ended, and helpful way. c. Avoid slogans and sound bites d. Treat facts as tools e. Keep exploring f. Expect the key question to remain open g. Keep learning

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

1. The Sprit of Common Ground is the Spirit of Dialogue

Spirit of dialogue is to acknowledge and honor the humanity of all person present regardless of their points of view.

Understanding compare to being “right”

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

2. The Common Ground Approach is a Search for What is Genuinely Shared A common ground process recognizes the integrity of each circle as a complete set

of concerns, beliefs, and values around the issue.Common ground focuses on the “area of intersection” PlatformPerspectives on these differences has changed

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

3. A Common Ground Is not Comprise Not about reaching a middle position but focusing on areas of genuinely shared

values and concerns. People are not asked to change their views. Participants see to understand one another, not to force or pretend agreement where agreement it does not exist.

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

4. A Common Ground Approach Encourages Looking Beyond the Labels and the Stereotypes

A common ground approach assumes that even in a polarized conflict, people’s

view fall on a continuum.

Pro-life ___________________________________________ Pro-choice

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

5. A Common Ground Approach Encourages Connective Thinking Dialogue encourages connective thinking that focuses attention on the strengths of

the speaker and encourages a search for the gems of wisdom, or pieces of truth.

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

6. A Common Ground Dialogue Encourages the Sharing of Personal Experience Personal experiences cannot be argued about nor agree or disagree with. They

are. Sharing life stories invites understanding. They are a constructive place to begin.

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

7. A Common Ground Dialogue Encourages Genuine Questions Genuine questions are in the spirit of real curiosity and a sincere interest.

Rhetorical or leading questions are not genuine questions.

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Chapter 14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking

Common Ground Dialogue

8. The Search for Common Ground Acknowledges Our Shared Membership in This Society

It acknowledges that “all of us against the problems we face” rather than “part of us

against the rest of us” We are all in this together, community, faith and citizenship.

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Exercises and Notes:Reworking Dysfunctional DialoguesPage 234

14 Dialogue: Learning by Talking