FREE

Scope

111ISSUE 14WEEK 6 Bond University's Weekly Student Publication

Week 6 Delirium

CONTENTS03

04

05

06

08

12

14

20

21

22

23

24

Jorja.Wallace .................Sub Editor

Milly.Arsic................. Sub Editor

Mona.Mizikovsky................. Sub Editor

Peter.Clayton................. Sub Editor

Shannan.Smith................. Sub Editor

Jen.Phan........... Photographer

Kat.Kaliviotis...........Photographer

Sultan.AlSaheal..........Photographer

Mitch. Hammer..........Photographer

Ash.Adams..................Designer

Jacqui.Ward..................Designer

Weekly Busa Report

Mr X

Money Making Tips

Seven Deadly Sins

Photos

Aeromedical Retrieval Workshop

Reviews

Editor’s ReportWelcome to week six, where the lab of bats will become your best friend. In this half-assed issue (kidding), we’ve got plen-ty in store for you.

Firstly, I would like to bring attention to Mr X, the champion of free speech. The anon-ymous Mr X will bitch and moan about all things wrong with Bond, and this week he has something to say about Bond’s gradu-ation ceremonies. Did we rip this idea off of The Simpsons? Yeah, who hasn’t? Just look at Family Guy.

Milly’s article, ‘Seven Deadly Sins at Bond’ is one of the best and funniest I have read ever since I took over as the Editor all 14 editions ago.

Newbie Shannan Smith showed her writ-ing prowess with the advertorial ‘Aero-medical Retrieval Workshops: Are You Ready to Fly?’

With a plethora of events at Bond last week, we have photos ranging from the North v South AFL game to the Chinese New Year celebrations. What a great week it was and I’m sure we won’t have another one like it until mid-semester exams are over.

Lastly, let me bring your attention to the poster on page 19. I strongly encourage you to take part. The topics are interesting to say the least and the winner gets $1000. I’d hit that.

Tune in next week to see if MacGyver will make it.

Cover photo by Ash Adams

email us at: scope.bond@gmail.com

2011 HMSA

Trivia

Bond MD

Scope Sport

One Minute With...

3

email us at: scope.bond@gmail.com

At the very start of each and every semester students loyal to life outside the classroom make their way to the Gym or the BUSA office to make their contribution to the life-blood of the Bond University student experi-ence: SAM.

Whilst the sign-up rate for SAM has risen and fallen in a constant cycle since its inception, after only six weeks into this semester SAM sign-ups have hit an all time high.

With 2,318 students valuing their student experience at more than $110, the funds available for allocation to clubs, societies, FSAs and BUSA itself is $180,000.

The funds are allocated to these student groups based on a number of criteria including the number of SAM paying students in the club, the number of events the club runs and the past performance of the club. How-

ever, the most important factor that is considered is the value of the service the club and its events provide to the student body.

Once these funds have been tentatively allocated, they are brought before the Activities Fee Committee (AFC) for approval. This committee comprises staff members from Senior Management, Campus life, the Fitness Cen-tre and BUELI, as well as two student representatives from BUSA - the President and the Treasurer.

This semester the AFC made several recommendations which were taken on board prior to the official release of the semester budget for 111.

The 111 master budget is available for all students to view online at www.bondstudents.com.

But in the mean time… did you know?

BUSA reduced their personal request by 23% - and reduced their allocation by $5,892.55.

Cultural Clubs Received $37,664.35 of funding, with an average of $1,046.23 per club

Sporting Clubs Received $30,322.59 of funding, with an average of $1,595.93 per club.

$30,000 was placed in a capital expenditure account avail-able for Clubs, FSAs and BUSA to apply to for larger capi-tal expenditure opportunities throughout the semester.

Faculty Student Associations received funding of $25,103.02

Highest Club – AFL Club - $6,079.61 Lowest Club – Chinese Students’ As-sociation - $32.00 (100% of request)

11 clubs received 100% of requested funding

14 clubs received less than 50% of funding

31 clubs reduce their name to acronyms – only 9 of the acronyms are words

Scope Costs BUSA $4,550 every semester

Wednesday by the Water costs BUSA $8,600 every semester

$14,629.25 was allocated to BBQs and Pizzas for events run by clubs and societies

The total budget was 70.33% of the requested amount

6 clubs applied for alcohol expenses… points for trying.

111 BUSA Funding Allocation

--Patrick McNamee

Graduation: the one day you get to wear a superhero-in-spired outfit whilst standing under shining lights actually be-ing proud of the all-nighters, red-bull inspired heart problems and multitude of passes you managed to grab whilst studying at Bond. It’s the day everything finally means something. You receive the piece of paper that symbolises the last couple of years of your life whilst your mother cries and your dad starts figuring out how you can pay him back the bucket loads of money he just invested in you.

But why does Bond not care as much as we do? Why are we shoved into the sports hall? Why does my Grandma, who has travelled half way around the world, have to go to Dons and pay for her own drink, with cash? I am writing this article as a member of the Bond community, as someone who has in-vested time and money into this establishment. I deserve more for my graduation and this is why:

Problem 1: the sports hallNow, don’t get me wrong, placing some carpet on the ground, hanging some tapestry and unfolding some chairs makes for an acceptable experience but a shovel is still going to be a shovel, no matter how much glitter and lace you put on it. The sports hall is the sports hall and it’s still where smelly feet and sweat go to die. For many, it is the first time their family will see Bond, so why not chose somewhere nicer? Or at a minimum, take the digital score boards down?

Problem 2: multi-faculty ceremonies Although only a small problem, by sliming down each gradu-ation ceremony to only one faculty, the function can be held in a smaller, more intimate location and the guest speakers chosen to more accuratley reflect the interests of the grad-uating students. UQ and Griffith do it this way and if Bond follows suit, the options for the ceremony location are nearly endless - how about Cerum Theatre, the Princeton Room, or a nice white tent out on the Ornamental Lawn?

Problem 3: DonsThe after ceremony drinks at Don’s are my biggest problem. I have spent over $100,000 on this institution. Yet Bond won’t thank me, or my family, with one free glass of cheap cham-pagne, or even a free glass of orange juice. This disgusts me. To make matters worse, my family has to make sure they pack cash, because Dons hasn’t upgraded to the 21st century idea of Eftpos yet. Don’s also doesn’t serve drinks until the cer-emony is finished, which makes for a boring time for those family members not lucky enough to score a ticket to the main event. There are so many other exceptional venues at Bond for canapés and drinks - the Princeton Room or the Uni-versity Club. Why on earth does my family have to line up at the gravestone of Palavers past? Would this be an appropri-ate time to mention even Griffith gives their graduates a free glass of bubbly?

Now, you may disagree with my argument, but that’s fine. As far as I’m concerned, Bond is sitting on a credit when it comes to graduation day. After the money, passion and time I have put into this amazing university, I would appreciate a little something in return on my big day. I mean, isn’t the point of graduation to leave me with a fantastic and lasting impres-sion, especially since Bond will presumably be hitting me up for donations once I’m an alumni. Oh, and whilst I’m here, how about a bond alumni email address…

** nothing about this post detracts from the awesomeness of grad party. If you don’t enjoy/love grad party, you have no soul.

X Mr X - Champion of Free Speech

This week: Bond’s Graduation Ceremony blows

4

If you’re anything like me and you’ve just taken out a personal loan to fill your car with petrol for a week, you’ll know what I mean when I say money is tight. Luckily, I’ve come up with some amazing money making tips that will mean you can leave your cash worries behind, in order to fight the never ending battle for owning every Apple product released, or for that pair of shoes you really want.

1. Sell some organs. No, not the type you find in an old church churning out morbid tunes, the ones nestled inside your body. Seriously, when was the last time you thought, “Man, my spleen is getting a work out today!” How useful can they be?

2. Create a false charity. Yes, I know, how ‘unethical’, but it’s not like I’m asking you to lie to anyone. Just write an ambiguous acronym on a tin, like “MJS Foundation”. They don’t need to know it stands for [insert initials here] Sav-ings. And if they ask, just smile and walk away at a quick pace, leaving behind only the fading sound of rattling coins.

3. Ask everyone you know for a dollar. Hopefully you know enough people to make this worthwhile. Warn-ing: some people will ask, “What’s it for?” It is advisable to terminate friendship with these sorts of people immedi-ately. No mastermind ever got anywhere by befriending people who ask questions.

4. Collect ‘buy one, get one free’ vouchers, but never use them when with friends. Otherwise, your friends will

want to share the cost of half the paid meal with you. In-stead, hang around the place you have the voucher for, and swoop in on a stranger’s transaction. Who knows, you might even make a new friend and hence, another dollar.

5. And finally, I just so happen to know a fool-proof, dou-ble your money scheme that is completely safe. Simply send me an initial deposit of $10,000 and I can guarantee you a double return on your money within only 2 weeks! This opportunity is for a limited time only, offer ends when you see me on TV being chased by A Current Af-fair’s news crew.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of my alter ego and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the writer. Unless you find this hilarious and completely inoffensive, in which case, this is all me.

Money making tips for the material-conscious

“Ask everyone you know for a dollar. Hopefully you know enough people to make this worthwhile.”

--Melinda Jennings

Envy

PrideSloth

Wrath

Gluttony

Lust

Greed

7Deadly sins at Bond

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why - a deadly sin is lurking on campus. It can strike anywhere, anytime. Like the common cold, the sin is a shape-shifter, taking any form, waiting for the best opportunity to make a move.

The symptoms form gradually. First, it is an inno-cent bystander, watching from afar. It tracks down your email, then your phone number. Before you know it, it knows where you live, and it will ambush you in any way it can. It may be hiding behind the glasses of the dark-haired boy in Spanish class. Or it may be in an attachment in your webmail browser.

By Milly Arsic

7

The best way to tell with most certainty whether you have the disease is to complete the following checklist.

Have you ever…A. Been so mad over something you left a hole in your wall?B. Bought an iPhone then tossed it for the iPhone 4?C. Couldn’t be stuffed finishing an assignment on time?D. Thought you were better than the peasants around you?E. Wanted someone’s body just to satisfy your own cravings?F. Been jealous that someone got 1% higher than you?G. Eaten the entire contents of your fridge?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, we urge you to seek medical advice as soon as reasonably practicable. Forgive me, Father/deity/void, for I have sinned.

But don’t worry, you are not alone. This epidemic has been catching students unaware by the dozen. Don’t bother wait-ing in the waiting room; try these simple cures instead.

Let’s kick things off with anger. Unless you’re a monk living away in a temple far from the grasps of modern day distur-bances, you would have encountered this ugly beast. It’s only natural to feel this way about certain food menus on campus, or hearing girls squabble over 99.9% fat-free products not be-ing good enough. There are always solutions - try hugging a tree, or holding someone’s hand. And if that’s too politically extreme, try compromising, cooperating or alternative dis-pute resolution. Or you could hit up some of the Seven Heav-enly Virtues. Patience is meant to be the cure for anger so take a deep breath and try using eStudent again.

Next up on our devilish list of undesirables, Mr Greedy. Girls, this one is a keeper. He will drain you dry of any material pos-sessions and bill you for every hour you spend with him. This sick obsession for capital gain and maximising self-interest is leading many to the brink of madness. Liberality is said to cure greed, so maybe drop the suitcase for a day and spend some time with the ones you love.Another symptom students are complaining about is acting like sloths. You see students sleeping on the couches in Build-

ing 6 and prioritising Facebook over study. Head to the Bat Labs and be greeted by zombie faces at 5am – the direct re-sult of a delayed workload. Enough with the wannabe Ed Cul-len lifestyle, you need to find a balance or else you’ll kick your body over the edge. Diligence is the heavenly virtue here, so pick up that textbook and attack it with your intellect.

Arguably the worst sin of all is pride. Although nothing’s wrong with a little self-lovin’, too much can be a turn-off. You can pick up the vibe straightaway, usually from that nearly-graduated law student, or that hunky boy showing off his slamming biceps. So tip: stop checking yourself out every time you pass the BUSA office, don’t be a pompous poodle, give others a compliment every now and then. Humility is said to be the polar opposite of pride. Try it out sometime.

Then there’s lust. Oh yerr. We all know how badly you want-ed him/her at the Date Auction. You’d do anything to get in their pants (insert steamy fantasy here). But please…restrain yourself. They say chastity is the virtue here, but uhh, that’s definitely not going down on campus. Lust in small doses keeps the ‘hard to get’ game alive, but you’ll have to move on at some point.

Now I’m seeing green, green with envy. I was sitting at Café Bond and I heard this girl talking to her friend.

Girl A: I can’t believe the bitch beat me by 1%. I’m the only one that got HDs in that class. Now I have to work extra hard to stay on top.

Girl B: You’re still doing pretty good though.

Girl A: NO!!! How can you say that? I’m going to see the tutor to see how I can improve.

Hmmm…they say competition is healthy, but don’t take it too far. If the tortoise and hare is a fable to go by, it’s tortie that trumps the bunny. Try running the hard yards for yourself, not for anyone else.

Last but not least, symptoms of gluttony are on display. I’m actually not talking about food here. All the ‘wet corridors’ on campus have fridges stocked with drinks. Thursday nights at Don’s can get pretty messy for some. Vending machine sup-plies are at an all-time low. And come exam week, empty en-ergy drink cans stretch as far as the eye can see. Again, they say abstinence is the cure but let’s be realistic here. That just ain’t gonna happen. At the risk of sounding too preachy, just take things in moderation and you’ll be fine.

So you may be infected by these symptoms, but that doesn’t mean the battle is over. Sometimes it’s not so bad listening to that little devil on your shoulder. After all, eating chocolate used to be a sin. Just don’t make it a habit, or you might find yourself walking down the catwalk of shame.

They say chastity is the virtue here,

but uhh, thats definitely not going down on campus.

North v South & Med v Health

Photographer: Zee Tarona

Date AuctionPhotographer:Andra Nasrie

Chinese New YearPhotographer: Ash Adams

Sea of Hands LaunchPhotographer: Jen Phan

12

AeromedicAl retrievAl Workshops: Are you reAdy to fly?

Studying medicine? Unafraid of heights? Ever watched Rescue Special Ops and thought ‘Pfft, I could do better than that’?

If you answered yes to any or all of the above, keep reading.

Founded in 2005, Medical Rescue is an organisation that aims to provide first class aero-medical assist-ance to those in need.

At the group’s original base in Queenstown, New Zealand, employees participate in some 250 mis-sions each year; from standard search and rescue operations, to mountain lifts, hospital transfers and body retrievals. By Shannan Smith

It is exhilarating and rewarding work, and since 2009 the Medi-cal Rescue team has aimed to share their expertise and experi-ence with enthusiastic med students interested in following in their footsteps.

Are you game?

For those who think they’re up for the challenge, Medical Res-cue is offering two Aeromedical Retrieval Workshops on the Gold Coast this year.

The two day programs, available from March 4th-5th and May 25th -26th, emphasise real skill development and aim to im-prove understanding of the nuances of the aeromedical field.Covering safe rescue strategies, basic helicopter features, the use of common air ambulance medical equipment and hot stretcher loading, to name but a few specifics. It offers a wide and transparent window into the lives of Channel Nine’s Lara, Dean and Co. – and the men and women who do the job for real.

Recognised by the Australasian College of Emergency Medi-cine and the Royal New Zealand College of General Practition-ers, the course employs a variety of practical and theoretical training styles to maximise the benefits for participants. The principles of flight may be taught from an informative vid-eo, but the principles of winching are taught by being winched into a chopper hovering above the Pacific.

“It is easy to forget what you are taught in a class,” notes Dr. Glenn McKay, founding member and present Managing Direc-tor of Medical Rescue, “practical exposure is essential.”

“Learning these skills in a safe environment is far better than fumbling around in the dark on a wet night surrounded by peo-ple holding torches who don’t speak English!” Dr. McKay contin-ued; referring to his own experiences as a novice aero-medic in

East Timor.

A safe environment for all involved is certainly a priority for Medical Rescue, with all workshops conducted by battle-hard-ened emergency medical specialists, intensive care paramedics and their rescue crew.

Participant numbers are also kept low. 16 the magic number, ensures adequate individual attention and active participation by all.

It is a real privilege for Bond students to be offered the oppor-tunity of a place in amongst the surf life savers, Royal Flying Doctors and other professionals involved in these experience programs.

So think about your future ambitions. Where do you want your Bond medical degree to take you? Do you want to work in a team? Save lives? Make a difference?

Again, if you answered yes to any or all of those questions, then this applies to you.

As Dr. McKay pointed out, “If there are Bond students thinking of electives with NGOs, or in developing countries then there is a very real chance they will be offered [the opportunity] to help transport patients in a helicopter...”

“If students can help crews package a patient for flight, they can become a useful set of hands, not just another person with a camera,” he added.

If you would like to be involved in Medical Rescue’s 2011 Aero-medical Retrieval Workshops, or require any further informa-tion, please contact Olivia Lesslar via Bond student e-mail. Positions are filling fast.

2011 HMSAIntroducing...

Jen Phan - President

Joel Grech - Treasurer

Eva Freeman - Social Director

Meagan Ryan - Secretary

Steph Tan - VP

• Revamp and revitalise Orientation Week specifically for students coming into the faculty to facilitate faculty pride, involvement and connection.• Further implement end of semester review sessions with student tutors to help aid student’s learning.• Along with the Academic Affairs Director, collaborate with Faculty Management to work towards academic development in subjects with consistently high fail rates.• Implement a faculty-specific textbook sale appropriate for the subjects that are running for that semester.• Join forces with the Career Development Centre to promote and ensure that stu-dents are well informed of all possible career pathways and opportunities.• Work closely with the Vice President, also a member of the Medical Students’ Soci-ety, to work towards connecting students from different courses, and thus unifying the entire faculty.

• To support and serve the students of the HSM faculty to the best of my ability through administrative, academic and social dealings.• Bridging the gap between MSSBU and HMSA, allowing the two to function more smoothly.• Help to break down the barriers between courses, especially between Medicine and the rest of the Health faculty.

• I will ensure communication between the HSMA and students is maintained to a high level and will take minutes at meetings. • Endeavour to liaise with the medical society so that our faculty can be more united and recognisable to other faculties. • Promote faculty pride by communicating HSMA events and deeds to the students.

• Establish a realistic operating budget to ensure that HMSA events use funding efficiently to maintain HMSA financial longevity.• Maintain complete and precise financial transactions as well as ensuring that all of the HMSA’s financial records are accurate and transparent.• Make certain that payments to external parties are made promptly and methodi-cally.

• Bring more awareness on campus to the HSMA by creating events that are appeal-ing and accessible to students across all faculties.• Creating events that are oriented around a wide range of activities such as sports, fitness, academics and socializing.• Incorporating a social/bonding event calendar into the HSM faculty Orientation Week to create a cohesive atmosphere amongst the degree programs.

Kaitlin Faulkner - Health Rep

Isabel Jantos - Sponsorhip Director

Deb Savage - Academic Affairs

Jai Sharma - Med Rep

• A focus on bringing a higher level of recognition to Class Representatives. Our Class Representatives are our link in communicating vital information and feed-back. As such, they should be rewarded for the great effort and dedication they bring. • Develop strategies to initiate and support student learning and innovation across all subjects.• Advise the Head of School, School staff, and Students on areas of best practice, issues of concern and resources required to maintain teaching and learning within the School to a high standard based on all levels of feedback.

• Maintain a professional relationship with the current sponsor of the HMSA. • Manage the ongoing relationship with the current sponsor through communicat-ing and reporting ongoing and future events. • Seek other avenues of sponsorship for academic and social events.

• To ensure all health classes are represented by vibrant and willing individuals, who will liaise with myself and the entire HMSA on issues that arise in the class.• Ensure that class representatives are appointed early in the semester, and that they receive recognition for their contribution in making our faculty a positive en-vironment. • Follow up on feedback from class representatives to ensure that students within every class have a say about their learning.

• Reduce the amount of double handling and miscommunication on student-raised issues by directly liaising with HMSA, MSSBU and medical students.• Assist with the organisation of activities for both medical and health science stu-dents – i.e. Med Vs Health Debates, Med Vs Health Sporting competitions etc. • Help reinvigorate HMSA’s standing as a faculty student association and to support the union between HMSA and MSSBU.

ScopeReview

It’s finally here. After three dry, uneventful years in the music world since In Rainbows, in which tiresome mash-ups and un-original pop songs invaded the airwaves, the masters of musi-cal dichotomy are back. With The King of Limbs, Radiohead are as revolutionary as ever.

True to their non-conformists reputation, Radiohead once again released an album in an unconventional manner. After shedding the controversial ‘pay what you want’ scheme, TKOL was released last Friday with just five days’ notice.

The result? Fans went apeshit with the sudden promise of a new Radiohead masterpiece. This generated immense hype with crit-ics proclaiming that the album will be the best of the year even though they haven’t heard a single note. Radiohead are truly marketing geniuses.

Don’t let any of the album’s marketing methods take anything away from the music. At last, Radiohead returned to their elec-tronic ways; their last predominantly electronic record being 2001’s Amnesiac. From start to finish, the 37 minutes long album is arguably Radiohead’s most abstract effort to date.

TKOL can be heard from various different angles. Yes, it’s dark and gloomy, or even ‘weird’, but the album’s brilliance lies in its so-phisticated song compositions. Every song is deeply layered and will leave you yearning for more. Listen closely and you will be surprised at how many hidden gems you can discover.

‘Lotus Flower’, the first single off the album, is not even the stand out track of the album. It is, however, the least gloomy of all and one could even say it’s the sexiest song Radiohead ever wrote. It even inspired Thom Yorke to dance that god-awful dance in the music video.

Rumour has it that there is a second part to this album. Consid-ering how short TKOL is, a part two would be nothing short of amazing. Don’t take my word for it, but I’m willing to bet my left nut that part two will come with the physical copy, out in May.

Rating: 9.6/10

--Andra Nasrie

The smooth rhythm of cool takes over your senses, from the souls of your feet it elusively pulsates until your en-tire body embraces the warm welcome that should be felt when entering a genuine café. Blackboard (café??) has left the depressing weather to the Victorians and brought a taste of Melbourne’s panache to the Gold Coast.

Varsity Lakes is the lucky suburb to adopt the vibrant funk of Blackboard café. Tailored with homely wooden furniture, antique trimmings and a light coat of charm-ing beats Blackboard feigns to be another superbly decorated café all about the peripherals. However, this illusion dissipates as soon as the aroma of Queensland’s finest coffee begins to percolate through your taste buds. This place is about the coffee.

Have a seat and a swift Mr. “Kid in a Candy store” Nick … Owner and Proprietor approaches with an enthusiastic smile to explain the coffee you will enjoy today. Wheth-er it is Blackboard’s self roasted blend or the bean of the day (your choice). Place your order and await the master barista to perform his art. Enthusiastically he awaits your first sip; taking as much pleasure watching you enjoy his creation as he does dealing with anything coffee related.

Mr. .... is not the only one who has been bitten by the flavour of cool in Blackboard’s blend. Scattered throughout the (café) are office workers enjoying their espresso; retirees admiring the soothing waterside views; and university students with their heads buried in their laptop. All walks of life are taking advantage of the stimulating surroundings and unprecedented cof-fee experience.

Blackboard speaks to each and every customer differ-ently, for me she whispered “You’ll love me for the cool” and with a cheeky smirk she finished “But… you’ll cher-ish me for my coffee.”

-- Michael Puhle

Blackboard Cafe

Radiohead - The King of Limbs

1. In Wolf Creek the psycho killer uses a little tor-ture technique called “head on a stick” what event does he credit with the invention of the tactic? 2. What “Tale as Old as Time” was the first animated film nominated for a Best Picture Oscar?3. What movie gave Kathy Bates a chance to bash her car into a Volkswagen Beetle yelling “Towan-da”?4. What child star of The Professional was discov-ered by a Revlon agent in a New York pizza parlor?5. What film suspended production for a year so Tom Hanks could let his hair grow and lose 50 pounds?

triviaLogic

bra

in te

ase

rs

Solutions can be found on Scope’s Facebook profile. Add us as a friend.

PuzzlesEgg Brain Teaser

Once upon a time, and old lady went to sell her vast quantity of eggs at the local market. When asked how many she had, she replied: Son, I can’t count past 100 but I know that.

If you divide the number of eggs by 2 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 3 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 4 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 5 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 6 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 7 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 8 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 9 there will be one egg left. If you divide the number of eggs by 10 there will be one egg left.

Finally. If you divide the Number of eggs by 11 there will be NO EGGS left! How many eggs did the old lady have?

Brain Teaser1. What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?2. When can you add two to eleven and get one as the correct an-swer?3. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one. Michael J. Fox has a short one. Madonna doesn’t use hers. Bill Clinton always uses his. The pope never uses his. What is it?4. A man wanted to encrypt his password but he needed to do it in a way so that he could remember it. He had to use 7 characters con-sisting of letters and numbers only (no symbols like ! or <). In order to remember it, he wrote down “You force heaven to be empty.” Can you tell me what his password was?5. What do the following words have in common? Assess, Voodoo, Banana, Grammar, Potato, Dresser, Revive, Uneven6. What makes more as you take them?7. A woman from Washington married twenty different men from that city, yet she was not arrested for breaking the law. The most surprising fact is that she never divorced and none of these men died. How was this possible?8. Three missionaries and three cannibals want to get to the other side of a river. There is a small boat, which can fit only two. To pre-vent a tragedy, there can never be more cannibals than missionaries together.9. A man is trapped in a room with only two possible exits: two doors. Through the first door, there is a room constructed from mag-nifying glass. The blazing sun instantly fries anyone or anything that enters. Through the second door, there is a fire breathing dragon. How does the man escape?10. You and a good friend go out and have a nice dinner together, and the bill is $25. You and your friend each pay $15 in cash which your Waiter gives to the Cashier. The Cashier hands back $5 to the Waiter. The Waiter keeps $3 as a tip and hands back $1 to each of you. So, you and your friend paid $14 each for the meal, for a total of $28. The Waiter has $3, and that makes $31. Where did the extra dollar come from?

WordokuWordoku is played just like normal Sudoku except that each row, column and 3x3 square must contain unique letters from a spe-cial 9-letter word! In this puzzle the unique 9-letter word is GOD-FATHER. Good Luck!

“Think you’re safe because STDs can’t penetrate the

Bond bubble? Bet you they can.”

Bond MDLet’s Talk about

S-E-X, baby...Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things, and the bad things, that

may be’

22

“The occurence of condoms slipping or

breaking ranged from 1.5% to 18.6%.”

When it comes to sex, Salt n’ Pepa have hit the nail on the head – you’ve gotta talk about it. Now, I’m not talking about gazing into each other’s eyes and declaring your eternal love – I’m just talking about getting your facts straight.

Obviously, I’m going to start off with the absolute importance of safe sex. But despite the most stringent of pre-cautions, things can always go wrong. The UCSF study Methods to Prevent Sexual Transmission of HIV found that the occurrence of latex condoms slip-ping or breaking ranged from 1.5% to 18.6%. I don’t know about you, but I’m not comfortable with an almost 20% chance of a sexual partner transmit-ting an STD my way.

In 2009, there were 179 new notified HIV diagnoses in Queensland alone, the highest total to date. This figure only includes those that have been tested – many others may be living unaware of their condition. Currently, just under 2,000 people live with HIV/AIDS in Queensland. And remember, there are much more prevalent STD’s such as gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes etc.

So, get talking! Ask whether your part-ner is clean of STD’s. If they say yes, ask them how they know. Never hav-ing presented with any symptoms does not assure a clean bill of health. The only way to be sure is to undergo a sexual health check with a doctor. And there’s nothing to worry about – you pee in a cup, the doctor has a quick look around, and you give some blood. It’s all over in 10 minutes. The facilities we have here at Bond are amazing – Dr Karsas is ever profes-sional, and Nurse Sue is quite possibly the best blood-taker I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. These checks are so important – and make sure they’re regular. Even when in a steady rela-tionship, there are always variables that may change.

Think you’re safe because STD’s can’t penetrate the Bond bubble? Bet you they can.

Think about this for a moment – re-member the HIV-infected acrobat Godfrey Zaburoni who recently gained notoriety for knowingly infect-ing hoardes of women?

He liked to hang out at Mermaid Tav-ern.

Seeing as the situation is so grave that there was a special task force assigned to find the hundreds of women he may have infected – I’m going to postulate that quite a few were conquests from the pub that is actually my local. He appears to have been quite the ladies man, and he lived here on the coast for 9 years before being apprehended. I don’t even want to think about how many lovely Mermaid ladies this man

may have come in contact with.

Since then, I’m sure that these women will have slept with and perhaps (un-knowingly) transmitted HIV to other men. Who will sleep with other wom-en, who will sleep with other men, who may one day sleep with you.

A lot closer to home than one would have thought, right?

Have a visit with your doctor, always know exactly who you’re exposing yourself to, and be safe!

Eva Freeman

HOT

Money

Lipgloss

Red shorts

Vegas at Don’s

Opinionated essays

Bondstock

SPC’s Volunteer Initiative

Bieber dying on CSI

Ludacris

Kouzina

Pita Bread

Tweed Shire Council Meeting

HTC’s ChaCha and Salsa

The King of Limbs

NOT

Gaddafi

Shooter’s stripper pole

Female toilets in the library

Batlab Bathrooms

Desperation

The Bachelor/Bachelorette

Heavy backpacks

Mid-sems

Mudbloods

Contradictions

Puzzle rings

Mumbling lecturers

Being put on the spot

Falling down the stairs

HOT OR

NOTScope

SportSouthies put north on their ass

Netball week 5 Wrap up

South overcame the underdog North for the third time running at last Thursday’s North versus South AFL match. North, who were ap-propriately noted as underdogs, played a fast paced game of skill and physicality, but it was no match for the endurance of the South boys who held most, if not all, of their energy in the mud guts of Jimmy Oldfield. It was only a near win by the South team of a mere eight points giving the crowd a nail-biting last quarter. AFL Coach, Rob Libeau said, “it’s like trying to get a pommy into a bath tub, they won’t do it.” That makes sense, I don’t know but what does with Rob?

The efforts of Dave Tyquin and Fitzy were out-rageous. To be honest, Dave is lucky he is un-derage but if I were into paedophilia not only would I be in more trouble than a fox in a chook pen whilst in prison but Dave would also be feeling a little worse for wear. Fitzy or Fitzgerald as the angry redhead was unmoveable in the backline and proved to the whole Bond com-munity on its biggest stage that he is the Dus-tin Fletcher of QAFL Div 3.

From the sidelines, star commentary from Vin-nie Rugari and Jack Hewitt kept the crowd en-tertained with the crickets going wild for spe-cial comments from Rob Libeau.

Vinnie Rugari was not the only one frolicking around the edges. South captain Jack Tronson also had some input into the commentary as did Ex-DJ Mike Phule who later proved that he

is as good in front of the speakers as he is be-hind them. We are still curious as to the source of his drinks.

With such a physical sport you’d expect some injuries; Nathan Mote was supposedly kicked in the head by accidentand suffered a concus-sion. Such injury we have been told by Dave Martini (a budding Gynaecologist) is entirely the fault of participation by Rugby players. The injuries didn’t stop there; Dave Martini hurt his little finger. There was speculation whether this was an injury or if he was just a bit soft but af-ter meeting with Dave we have been assured that it is the 20 year olds that are soft because if he was a quarter of his age again he would be *censored*.

The crowd was on their toes the whole game, between injuries, scintillating commentary, and biff on the field with compliments from Israel Folau. The Bond Cheerleaders also made an appearance cheering the boys from the sidelines the entire game. Commentator Jack Tronson thought that “most importantly, the Bond Cheerleaders entertained the crowd and players with a great display of athleticism, leav-ing some players, Jimmy Oldfield, having trou-ble to getting his mind back to the footy.”

All in all it was a great night and the boys showed that they can play leaving all of our minds wondering exactly how far they will be taking the Bond Bullsharks in Div 3. Let’s make it a Premiership!

Netball in Week 5 encountered a few interesting bumps in the way, but was clearly just having a bit of a warm up!

Tuesday night showed us that it’s not age, but practice that makes perfect with the Women’s External Team closely losing to the Under 16 Tallebudgera Rep team on Tuesday night. The Mixed (or should I say mixed-up?) External Team on the other hand smashed the ‘Pink Ladies’ where they somehow were entered into a Women’s competition! Good work guys!

Thursday again was highly competitive with some fantastic highlights coming from Caitlyn Murdoch, Maddie Hurst, Olivia McCauley and Daniel Gorton.

Make sure you keep your eye out in the coming weeks for an umpiring course as well as try-outs for Northern University Games teams.

See you on the court!

--Emma Brinkman

--Taylor McPhail and Caroline Kovac

• Nationality? I was born in Japan and now a naturalized Australian • If you could have dinner with anybody, dead or alive, who would it be and why? My grand father, who has passed away. Last conversation we had was really awful. We had a huge fight and before we made up, he died. I was his favourite grandson, I was such a grandfathers kid. I want to have dinner with him and apologize • Phobias? Heights, snakes, spiders – I got bitten by a red back once – made me really sick. I have also been chased by a brown snake • What is your favourite track to work out to? I have too many but I love ‘Please don’t stop the music’ by Rihanna• What is 1 gym class that everyone should take before they die?Yoga – I never thought I would like it but once I had done it I realized how great it was.• If you were going to be stuck in the

gym for the rest of your life – what three items would you bring with you? My cat because he is my child, he is old and 15 and he needs me. I would also bring my TV and my favourite futon.• What’s your favourite brand of gym shoes?Im currently sponsored by New Balance and they are my favourite – they are actu-ally good• When you work out, do you prefer wa-ter or powerade to drink? Water • What’s your favourite after work out meal? Fruit salad with yogurt to have some sugar, instead of eating something like snakes • What’s the one thing you are most proud of? keeping fairly fit at the age of 40• Any advice for students planning on hitting up the gym this semester? Quit smoking if you are a smoker. You will feel and look heaps better

One minute with... Shiggy Shinomiya