101 Reasons Not to Do Anything
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Transcript of 101 Reasons Not to Do Anything
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101 ReasonsNot To Do Anything
A Collection ofCynical & Defeatist
Quotations��
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Copyright © Summersdale Publishers Ltd 1998
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced by any means, nor transmitted, nortranslated into a machine language, without the written permission of thepublisher.
Summersdale Publishers Ltd46 West StreetChichesterWest SussexPO19 1RP UK
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.Printed and bound in Great Britain
ISBN 1 84024 043 1
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101 ReasonsNot To Do Anything
A Collection ofCynical & Defeatist
Quotations
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Introduction
According to Oscar Wilde, a cynic is ‘A man who knows theprice of everything and the value of nothing’, which is a refreshingantidote to the feel-good, be calm, de-stress and motivationaltrends that have crept into our society in recent years.
It wasn’t always like this. In past centuries people would look atthe world through grey-tinted spectatcles. So what better way tocombat the nicey nicey nineties than with this treasure trove ofthe world’s finest cynical and defeatest quotations?
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
If you live long enough, you’ll see thatevery victory turns into a defeat.
Simone de BeavoirTouts les hommes sont mortels
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
I want to be bored to death,as good a way to go as any.
Peter De VriesComfort me with Apples
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Other people are quite dreadful.The only possible society is oneself.
Oscar WildeAn Ideal Husband
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
I get my exercise acting as a pall bearerto my friends who exercise.
Chauncey Depew
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Happy is the man with a wife to tell himwhat to do and a secretary to do it.
Lord MancroftObserver, “Sayings of the Week” 18 Dec 1966
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Alas! The hours we waste in workand similar inconsequence,
Friends, I beg you do not shirkYour daily task of indolence.
Don MarquisThe Almost Perfect State
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
It is better to have loafed and lostthan never to have loafed at all.
James ThurberFables for Our Time, “The Courtship of All”
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
’Tis the voice of the sluggard, I hear him complain;“You have waked me too soon, I must slumber again”.
Isaac WattsThe Sluggard
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
I am happiest when I am idle. I could live for monthswithout performing any kind of labour, and at the
expiration of that time I should feel fresh and vigorousenough to go right on in the same time for numerous
more months.
Artemus WardPyrotechny
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
It was such a lovely dayI thought it was a pity to get up.
W. Somerset MaughanOur Betters
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
I enjoy convalescence. It is the part thatmakes the illness worthwhile.
George Bernard ShawBack to Methuselah
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
I am interested in leisure in the way a poor man isinterested in money. I can’t get enough of it.
Attributed to Prince Philip
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
The wisdom of a learned man cometh byopportunity of leisure: and he that hath little
business shall become wise.
BibleEcclesiastes 38. 24-25
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
You should do nothing that did not absolutely pleaseyou. Be idle, be very idle! The habits of your mind are
such that you will necessarily do much; but be as idle asyou can.
S.T. ColeridgeLetter to Southey
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler
Samuel JohnsonThe Idler
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
I am sure that indolence – indefeasible indolence –is the true state of man, and business
the invention of the old Teazer.
Charles LambLetter to Wordsworth, 1805
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
There is one piece of advice, in a life of study, which Ithink no one will object to; and that is, every now and
then to be completely idle, – to do nothing at all.
Sydney SmithSketches of Moral Philosophy
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Increased means and increased leisureare the two civilisers of men.
Benjamin DisraeliSpeech to Conservatives of Manchester, 3 April 1872
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Leisure is the mother of Philosophy.
Thomas HobbesLeviathan iv, 46
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Leisure is the best of all possessions.
SocratesDiogenes Laertius
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.
Mary Wilson Little
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
What’s wrong with dropping out?To me, this is the whole point: one’s right
to withdraw from a social environment thatoffers no spiritual sustenance, and to
mind one’s own business.
William S Burroughs
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
One little chore to do, one little commission to fulfil,one message to carry, would spoil heaven itself.
Henry D ThoreauJournal, 21 July 1851
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
So that what was indolence was called wisdom.
Tacitus
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
I have spent my life laboriously doing nothing.
Grotius
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
With ecstasies so sweetAs none can ever guess
Who walk not with the feetOf joy in idleness
Robert BridgesSpring
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
That indolent but delightfulcondition of doing nothing.
Pliny the Younger
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Better to idle well than work badly.
Spanish proverb
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Serious matters can wait until tomorrow.
Cornelius NeposPelopidas
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
To do nothing is in every man’s power.
Samuel JohnsonThe Rambler
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Procrastination– the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Never put off until tomorrow what you cando the day after tomorrow just as well.
Mark TwainThe Late Benjamin Franklin
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Work is the refuge of people whohave nothing better to do.
Oscar Wilde
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
. . . saves time like putting off until tomorrowwhat you should do today.
Malcolm Muggeridge
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
My father taught me to work, but not to love it. I neverdid like to work, and I don’t deny it. I’d rather read, tell
stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh – anything but work.
Abraham Lincoln
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
The chief attraction of military service hasconsisted and will consist in this
compulsory and irreproachable idleness.
TolstoyWar and Peace
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Put off the evil hour as long as you can.
Proverb
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
As peace is the end of war, so to be idle isthe ultimate purpose of the busy.
Samuel Johnson The Idler
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
He that knows nothing, doubts nothing.
Proverb
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Hard work has never killed anyone,but it frightens some people half to death.
Aldous Huxley
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Marriage has many painsbut celibacy has no pleasures.
Samuel JohnsonRasselas
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
If it rained knowledge, I’d hold out my hand;but I would not give myself the trouble
to go in quest of it.
BoswellLife of Johnson
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
In this world nothing can be said to be certain,except death and taxes.
Benjamin Franklinletter to Jean-Baptiste Le Roy
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Philander JohnsonShooting Stars
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Thank heaven the sun has gone in,and I don’t have to go out and enjoy it.
Logan Pearsall Smith
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Call no man happy until he dies,he is at best fortunate.
PlutarchSolon
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
It is unfortunate, considering enthusiasmmoves the world, that so few enthusiasts
can be trusted to speak the truth.
A. J. Balfour
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Marriage is a romance in which thehero dies in the first chapter.
AnonQuoted by Barbara Gourdy – Falling Angels
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Like every man of sense and good feeling,I abominate work.
Aldous Huxley
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
The lecture theatre – the place where informationpasses from the notebook of the lecturer to the
notebook of the student without necessarilypassing throught the mind of either.
Jim White
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Mother is the dead heart of the family, spendingfather’s earnings on consumer goods to enhance
the environment in which he eats, sleeps andwatches the television.
Germaine GreerThe Female Eunuch
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Brigands demand your money or your life;women require both.
Samuel Butler
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
By working faithfully eight hours a day,you may eventually get to be a boss
and work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Life is too short to do anything for oneselfthat one can pay others to do for one.
W. Somerset MaughanThe Summing Up
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
They say hard work never hurt anybody,but I figure: why take the chance?
Ronald Reagan
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
If I were a medical man, I should prescribe aholiday to any patient who considered
his work important.
Bertrand RussellAutobiography
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
I love mankind– it’s people I can’t stand.
Charles M SchultzGo Fly a Kite, Charlie Brown
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
I never found the companion that was socompanionable as solitude.
Henry David ThoreauSolitude
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
The majority of men devote the greater partof their lives to making their remaining years unhappy.
Jean De La Bruyère
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
Benjamin FranklinPoor Richard’s Almanac
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
If people really liked to work,we’d still be ploughing the land with
sticks and transporting goods on our backs.
William Feather
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Time you can enjoy wastingis never wasted time.
Anon
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
There are only three events in a man’s life;birth, life and death; he is not conscious of
being born, he dies in pain and he forgets to live.
Jean De La Bruyère
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Ours is a world where people don’t knowwhat they want and are willing to go
through hell to get it.
Don Marquis
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Laziness implies a lot of intelligence. It is the normalhealthy attitude of a man with nothing to do.
Sir Heneage Oglivie
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Anybody who works is a fool. I don’t work,I merely inflict myself on the public.
Robert Morley
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Work is the only dirty four-letterword in the language.
Abbie HoffmanHarpers Magazine, 1970
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
You marry the man of your dreams, ladies,but 14 years later you’re married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne BarrRoseanne, 1986
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
It’s always been and always will be thesame in the world: the horse does the work
and the coachman is tipped.
Anon
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
People would rather sleep their way through lifethan stay awake for it.
Edward Albee
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Life is a concentration camp.You’re stuck here and there’s no way out
and you can only rage impotentlyagainst your persecutors.
Woody AllenEsquire, 1977
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Life is a practical joke.
Paul Bocuse
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Life is a shit sandwich andeveryday you take another bite.
Joe Schmidt
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Life’s a piece of shit,when you look at it.
Eric IdleLife Of Brian
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
There is only the difference of a letter between thebeginning and the end of life - creation and cremation.
Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Lord Illingworth:The Book of Life begins with a man
and a woman in a garden.
Mrs Allonby:It ends with Revelations.
Oscar WildeA Woman of No Importance
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
The shorter the hours, the larger the income. Don’t getinto the habit of putting in long hours or you may be set
down into a permanent subordinate position.
George AdeFables
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
His sole concern with work wasconsidering how he might best avoid it.
Anatole FranceRevolt of the Angels
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Work is the scythe of time.
Napoleon Bonaparte, 1815
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Set me anything to do as a task, and it isinconceivable the desire I have to do something else.
George Bernard Shaw
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
It is easier to admire hardwork if you don’t do it.
UnknownMeditations on Wall Street.
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Life is a one way street.
Bernard BerensonNotes, 1950
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
All of the animals excepting man know thatthe principal business of life is to enjoy it.
Samuel ButlerNotebooks
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Life ain’t all beer and skittles, and more’s the pity; butwhat’s the odds, so long as you’re happy?
George du MaurierTrilby
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer andthen you find there is nothing in it.
James G Huneker
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
We are but tenants, and ... shortly the great Landlord willgive us notice that our lease has expired.
Joseph JeffersonInscription on his monument
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
He beats the bush and another catches the bird.
Old French Proverb
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
It is not necessary that a man should earn his living bythe sweat of his brow, unless he sweats easier than I do.
Henry D Thoreau
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
The brain is a wonderful organ.It starts working the moment you get up,
and does not stop until you get into the office.
Attributed to Robert Frost
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
In a hierarchy every employee tends to riseto his level of incompetence.
Laurence J. Peter The Peter Principle
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
One should not exaggerate the importance of trifles.Life, for instance, is much too short to be taken seriously.
Attributed to Nicolas Bentley
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Living is a sickness from which sleep provides reliefevery sixteen hours. [...] The Remedy is Death.
Nicolas Chamfort
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Thirty million, mostly fools.[When asked the population of England]
Thomas Carlyle
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Life is just one damned thing after another.
Elbert HubbardA Thousand and One Epigrams
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Life is as tedious as a twice-told taleVexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.
William ShakespeareKing John
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
It is better to be a fool than to be dead.
R L Stevenson
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Friendship is a disinterested commerce between equals;love an abject intercourse between tyrants and slaves.
Oliver Goldsmith
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Work is accomplished by those employees whohave not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Laurence J PeterThe Peter Principle
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up,but a comedy in long-shot.
Charlie Chaplin
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Life is a jest; and all things show it.I thought so once but now I know it.
John GayMy Own Epitaph
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
Life is one long process of getting tired.
Samuel Butler
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Life would be tolerably agreeable if itwere not for its amusements.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
The basic fact about human existenceis not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore.
H. L. MenckenPrejudices
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves methe trouble of liking them a great deal.
Jane AustenLetters
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
I have often thought upon death,and I find it the least of all evils.
Francis BaconAn Essay Upon Death
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Never, ever, bloody anything ever.
Rick MayallMr Jolly Lives Next Door
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
A person seldom falls sick, but the bystanders areanimated with a faint hope that he will die.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
I hate quotations.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
If all the year were playing holidays,To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wish’d for come.
William ShakespeareHenry IV
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Who first invented Work–and tied the freeAnd holy-day rejoicing spirit downTo the ever-haunting importunity
Of business, in the green fields, and the town–To plough–loom–anvil–spade–and, oh, most sad,
To this dry drudgery of desk’s dead wood?
Charles LambLetter to Barton
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
He may live without books, – what is knowledge but grieving?He may live without hope, – what is hope but deceiving?He may live without love, – what is passion but pining?
But where is the man that can live without dining?
Owen MeredithLucille
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
Man, I can assure you, is a nasty creature.
Molière
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
The ceaseless labour of your life is tobuild the house of your death.
Montaigne
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
If one judges love by the majority of its effects, it is morelike hatred than like friendship.
Duc de la Rochefoucauld
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
If you give me six lines written by the most honest man, Iwill find something in them to hang him.
Attributed to Cardinal Richelieu
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
The world itself is but a large prison,out of which some are daily led to execution.
Sir Walter Raleigh
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
‘Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shallnever be disappointed’ was the ninth beatitude.
Alexander PopeLetter to Fortescue
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
In the misfortunes of our best friends wefind something that is not unpleasing.
Duc De La Rochefoucauld
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101 Reasons Not To Do Anything ��
So little done, so much to do.
Cecil Rhodes[Last words]
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A Collection of Cynical & Defeatist Quotations��
The crash of the whole solar and stellarsystems could only kill you once.
Thomas CarlyleLetter
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Other Humour Books from Summersdale