“Funposting, Funposting never changes” or maybe it was “Funposting is changing?” Either way welcome Jumper to a world similar to you native earth but not the same where funposting never stops for long and battles are fought almost everywhere and anywhere from a heated thread picking off guerrillas with your rifle to the late-night threads clashing wits with Australians and even fire fights with pirates on a space station. This is a world where Funposting is waged for Jumps, Fun, Nothing, Spite and anything in between and is always in need of new blood and talent to continue turning the bloody gears of Funposting. And as long as you don’t mind a little tears on your hands, anons and opportunities will never be scarce for you in this world so long as you play your cards right jumper…or not, your story is up to you after all. So without further ado Welcome Jumper to the world of

GENERIC PFC JUMP I’ll give you your pay in advance so take this to help start your mission wherever it maybe.

1,000CP

Before you dive in Jumper please select from 20 to 50 for your age (Reds have to pick an age starting from 25 and up). Gender stays the same from the previous Jump or you may pay 50cp to change at your discretion.

Anon

100cp

Once upon a time, there was a great sage named Noah. He took under him three students: Doga, Unei, and Xande. After many years and teaching, feeling their tutelage at an end, Noah gave to these three each a gift.To Doga, he gifted unrivaled knowledge of all magic.To Unei, he gave mastery over the world of dreams.To Xande, he gave mortality.Noah, Doga, and Unei each agreed that Xande had been given the most precious gift of all.

200cp

Who the fuck said anything about Zsaz or Killer Croc? I'm talking Ra's Al Ghul. I'm talking the Order of Saint Dumas. I'm talking the motherfucking Court of

Owls. All of these incredibly evil people Batman's fought (and let's not even get into the foes he has as part of the Justice League), and you're fixating on the stupid boring murder clown? That's what I mean by you being what's wrong withthe Batman fandom. You're all fucking obsessed with the Joker, when he's the most boring of Batman's villains by far. And then the writers act on that fandom and make these awful stories where the Joker teams up with Batman to defeat the Bat-Joker from the Dark Multiverse, and you have the gall to complain abouthow stupid it is. They're just giving you what you asked for, if it's pap then you only have yourself to blame.

300cp

Hey Val, can IWTBTSH be put on a slider instead of just toggled? That is to say,instead of setting it to "off", "danger level of the setting on average" and "enoughdanger to actually challenge a potentially incredibly powerful jumper", could it beset to some middling value that's more powerful than the setting as it normally would be but not at my level? Because there are times you want to make a boring world more fun but don't want to have the Twilight of the Gods occurring. If it couldn't be used that way, does anyone know any perks that would allow it to be used as such?

400cp

El Goonish Shive's Dewitchery Companion gets one of your altforms as a default form with all the abilities of that form. Take it at jump 2.They'd still get only companion CP, but considering the kind of power you can pick up with that... I'd take it.There's also a jump on QQ that lets you pick one companion that you can in the future donate CP at a 1:2 ratio to and they also get a spark when you do an endjump.

600cp

If she hasn't been killed, she might follow or tail you quietly out of curiosity, if briefly. Talking to her may give her enough of a 'shock' via those perks to slowly bring her out of robot fairy mode. Past that or if she has already been 'killed', she's likely to get attached quickly, especially if you're nice to her or introduce her to new things. It doesn't take much to get Arcueid to like you - the initial hurdle is the biggest part, really. That and Shiki's existence. And the whole bloodlust thing.

Timmy

100cpRed. Red. You need to stop. Stop right now, because you're only hurting yourself. But you obviously don't care about that, because it seems you're only staying here to spite everyone who tells you to leave. Well, fuck you you piece of shit. Fuck you and everyone who enables this bullshit. You're a waste of fucking tax dollars, and everyone would be much better off not having to ever deal with you, you fucking waste of air and space. You ruin the day of everyone who has the misfortune of seeing your posts. You have no idea just how badly I want to post a flashing gif right now, but I stop myself because you're not even worth the waste of bandwidth it would take to post it.

200cp

Hah, so you just used this meme without knowing anything about it because you can't use your own words. But I suppose it should not be a surprise coming from one who express such cliched opinion and wants to come as generically "edgy" as possible. I assume your distate for Red is just another attempt to follow the trend.

300cpSimple, you don't just stop those people, you BREAK them. Find out the part of them that is fundamentally broken or skiewed, determine how abberant their perspective is, then destroy it. Brutally and mercilessly. Force them to acknowledge what they are too fearful to, make them realise their own abnormalcy and how unrepresentative and inconsequential they are to the gran scheme of humanity. Constantly and forcefully shatter their world view until they are left as a broken and burnt out shell of they once were. Then show them as an example to the other aberrations and deviants, so that they may also know how futile and foolish it is to develop those broken and flawed mindsets.

400cpContrary to popular opinion, it was not a dark and stormy day. There was the 'threat' of snow later, which would be wonderful if it actually did, but other than being a bit chilly it was perfectly nice outside. Not that going outside was on the list of things to do today. There was a bit of homework to do, but other than that the only thing on the schedule was videogames and cuddling with the spaceheater. I mean dog. Cuddling with the dog.

600cp

Beat it Red, you nerf whore

Red

100cpBig Tiddies

200cpBeing Demon queen of the Succubi is hard work, with this perk it maeks it not so hard

300cpYou can make jumps that are LONG and HARD to choose options from

400cpYou have great back strength

6000cpYou are un-bulliable

ITEMS

100cpCheetos

Companions

Not so edge lord 200cp

You ran into this girl after you decided to leave you basement for once in your life, She tells you how she was once a powerful wizard but fell after she tried to take on the Demon known as “The Leaf”. Talking with you makes her feel better but can you put the Chu back in her nii?

Australian

After being framed he left on the run, his crimes were stage 5 shi posting which is a serious crime and even the most hardened men wouldn’t try. Can you help him clear his name?

SCENARIOS

An F*CKING LEAF!!

This monster is responsible for countless amounts of rage and is known as the father of Timmy. He and his people are known for their terror tactics and how they were the reason for the Australians exile and blame for rapid funposting, They are simply known as “The Leaf” and they are planning theirbiggest raid yet. Their plan is to start the Day of the grill where they will invade their puppet state America and wipe them out whiles their emu allies start a coup in austrailla with their Ibis foot soldiers and in return the Emu’s get their rightful land back and Ibis get all the bin juice they can drink and allof the picnics they can wreck. You have been called to stop their nefarious plans and save the burgers before none are left un-turned. But be warned he has the power to trap you into conversations and if he does he WILL get you upset and make you feel like you wasted your time.

You were so rad in saving America that all the Waifus want you and wisper into your ears, “We love you anon, please let us into your harem and train us to be fun posters like you” You are now a fun posting leader so make your choice for a base now please.

LOCATION

BasementYour RoomTree house

BASE BUILDER

High grade CPU 100cpFiber Optic internet 200cp(bared to Australians) Tendies 1000cp

Well I guess that really was Generic PFC Jump after all, but remember that the true Generic was the PFC we Jumped along the way. So what will you do?

StayYou are here forever anon

LeaveYou are here forever

ReturnGlad to have you back anon

https://my.mixtape.moe/oxmxrw.webm Real jump soon I promise, maybe. Watching the video on the link means you agree team creme is superior