10Secrets

Guide To HappinessBy Dalai Lama

"I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or

that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness." ~Dalai Lama in The Art of Happiness

The Dalai Lama talks a lot about happiness and how to achieve it. It’s always a real pleasure to hearhis wisdom as well as his sharp mind speaking. His Guide to Happiness is of course influenced by Buddhism. But it really is not a religious approach but rather a very practical one: We can achieve happiness by developing our mind and applying it, in other words by personal development.

Happiness is a mental attitude, a state of mind and not primarily dependent on external conditions.According to the Tibetan word "Sem" for mind it includes intellect, feelings, the heart and the mind.Training an developing the mind starts with learning. And its aim is to set free the inner human potential that everybody has. So one could say it is the process of personal development.

Secret # 1 : Train Your Mind

Education and knowledge is a crucialpart here. There is an interesting noteby the Dalai Lama: knowledge is not primarily there to make us cleverer.

The most important use of knowledgeis to understand ourselves, to create a mental clearing and make changes

from within or as he puts it: to develop a good heart.

By training the mind we can develop an inner discipline. This training towards a calmness of mind is what Buddhists call "The Way" and it is the fundamental method of achieving happiness. The inner discipline means confronting our negative states of mind and transforming them into more positive states. The goal is to develop a calm or peaceful and stable state of mind, regardless of outer events.

Secret # 2 : Develop Calmness of Mind

A calm mind doesn’t mean to be passive; it is very sensitive and

aware and it means to be in controland to respond to situations in the

best way possible without the buildup of heavy negative emotions.

A calm mind is a very developed mind and one that has strength

and inner space to choose the right reaction.

The idea is to free ourselves from negativity. It works by developing and cultivating positive states and emotions and then living and acting from there. Positive states can act like an antidote to negativity. Bycoming from a state of joy, love or enthusiasm it is almost natural to neutralize anger, hatred or apathy. The goal then is to develop habits out of those positives states to make them our predominant state.

Secret # 3 : Build up Positive States

According to the Dalai Lamaall negative emotions are

based on ignorance, which is the misconception of the true nature of reality.Therefore they have no

basis in reality. On the otherhand positive states have

a solid basis; they aregrounded in reality and

are life-supporting.

If we really want to be happy we have to identify the factors that lead to happiness and thencultivate them into habits. On the other side we have to identify what leads to the opposite ofhappiness: suffering. Then we have to get rid of those destructive states and habits and replace them by the positive ones.

Secret # 4 : Cultivate Good Habits (and Eliminate Bad Ones)

Take action. Goals alone have no meaning; you need to take action to make them real. Don’t let fear hold you back. "Just do it."

For instance the habit of chaotic organization can be

replaced by weekly planning. This is inner discipline at

work. I think it is a source of real happiness and of inner

satisfaction. The motivation tocreate good habits stays if wejust see and experience the

benefits and freedom they aregiving us. If we keep bad

habits then we consciously of unconsciously are ok

with being unhappy.

Learning is only the first step. Necessary follow-ups are conviction, determination, action and effort.A strong determination to change then enables action. The final effort is also critical. To start we need a strong willingness or wish to start. And we need to develop enthusiasm and a sense of urgency. Tools to get this are goal-setting, visualization and in general our imagination.

Secret # 5 : Welcome Change

When we resist this change by clinging to something

that is changing, we become attached. We can’t be happy

because we resist the change, what is futile. Of course we candirect change up to a certain

degree, but we can’t prevent it.The key is to get into the riverof life and direct the course ofpositive change. Then the fear

of change also vanishes.

To develop good habits and to build up positive states we need a certain inner self-discipline. If we are focused on short-term pleasures this is very difficult. If we evaluate the effects of short-term and long-term oriented behavior it becomes clear what is more helpful on the long run. 

Secret # 6 : Develop a Long-Term Perspective

We need a wider perspective.

This long-term perspective

helps to build up happiness.

Suffering is the opposite of happiness. We have to identify the causes (not only the symptoms)that lead to suffering and then eliminate them. If we suffer it’s not very pleasant of course, but nevertheless it might be a very valuable lesson. We seem to learn the most from our so-calledfailures.

Secret # 7 : Know the Meaning of Suffering

If life shows us that something is wrong – bysuffering – we have that

feedback which we need totrace back to its causes andtransform those. There is no reason to give in, it is

just valuable feedback thatwe needed to change.

It’s clear that the quality of our relationships is very connected with our level of happiness. Deep relationships are based on openness, truth and respect. That allows meaningful communication between two human beings, not of two humans playing roles. And if the only basis of a relationshipis attraction, the relationship is not based on respect and cannot hold for long.

Secret # 8 : Develop Deep Relationships

Often what is spoken of as love is not true love, it is confused with attraction, whichalso includes attachment. True love is non-conditional. So to build a truly satisfying

relationship it’s best to get to know another persons deeper nature and relate to her/him on that level, instead of on superficial characteristics.

In the western world the word compassion comes with a flavor of weakness. But what about a compassion that comes from a very strong and able mind, wouldn’t that be a wonderful ability to possess? Genuine compassion, as the Dalai Lama speaks about, originates from the realization that every human being is ultimately the same as every other human being.

Secret # 9 : Develop a Sense of Compassion

Genuine compassion is a state of mind which is non-violent, non-harming and non-aggressive. This attitude is based on the wish for others to be free of their suffering and isassociated with a sense of commitment, responsibility and respect for the other. It creates a positive, friendly and secure atmosphere. To develop compassion we can take the wishto be free of suffering for ourselves and then cultivate it to include and embrace others.

The nature of our mind is very pure. It has the qualities of clarity and knowing. Buddhists call the Buddha Nature "the mind of clear light" (Enlightenment) where no negative thoughts or emotionsarise. It shines through if we are quieting all abstract concepts and thoughts and become awareof the underlying stillness of the mind directly.

Secret # 10 : Release Your Buddha Nature

"You can eliminate the harmful effectsby cutting off the specific branches or

leaves, or you can eliminate the entire plant by uprooting it"

~Dalai Lama in The Art of Happiness.

Dalai Lama makes clear the obvious: everybody on earth is seeking happiness. I want to make one point, that is clear to me today: the right to happiness and the ability to achieve it is within everybody. EVERYBODY. And this guide to happiness as described by the Dalai Lama in his bookis the way that many other people walk to develop and free themselves towards a happy life.

Ultimately all causes of suffering find their root in ignorance. To overcomenegativity towards happiness we can apply the antidote to ignorance: 

the wisdom factor. It is the true nature of reality.

Thank You Very MuchSompong Yusoontorn