10 Commandments of Lean - Sohee Fit Commandments... · a) you're contemplating embarking on a fat...

SOHEEFIT SYSTEMS, LLC. www.soheefit.com

Dear reader, I hope this finds you well. I don't know who you are, where you're coming from, or how you found me, but I'm pretty sure I have a good idea of why you're here. Chances are, you fall in one of the following categories:

a) you're contemplating embarking on a fat loss journey to reveal your abs that have been hibernating since the dawn of time;

b) you're currently in the throes of dieting and you need some encouragement because the process has quickly lost its luster;

c) you've already tried and quit multiple times and want to figure out what the missing piece is;

d) you've got a cookie in your mouth right now and you're reading this out of guilt; or

e) I very strongly urged you to read this and you can't say no to me. :) Whatever your reason, I'm glad you've made it. It's a universal truth that successful people tend to practice a set of habits that separates them from everyone else. Whether it be CEOs, fitness models, or simply incredibly productive individuals, they seem to have it made. Onlookers attempt to myopically study every little thing they do and, much of the time, they can't measure up. Why is that? This is why: there are some fundamental commandments that must be adhered to. Besides the fine details of what to eat, how much, and when - apart from the training programming minutiae and calorie counting (or not) and fist bumping - there are certain behaviors and mindsets that must be implemented in order to effect positive change. The good news is that they're not kept secret. There's no Dead Poet Society for the Lean & Fit where people rendezvous in the middle of the night and whisper their stay-lean formulas by candlelight. There isn't even a special pill that will solve all your problems (although fish oil comes pretty damn close). All you have to do is stalk people to figure out what they do to get lean and stay lean year-round while still having a life outside the gym aaand enjoying their favorite foods on occasion. (And be happy.) You just have to follow them around for about two weeks straight and you'll have your answer. Or you could read this. Smarter or harder? You choose.


1. Thou Shall Do Thy Own Thing. I'd be lying if I said I've never been guilty of trying to emulate someone else because I admired the way she looked. Specifically, when I first discovered weight lifting in early 2008, it was Jamie Eason's physique that I became enamored with. I was especially fond of the fact that she was 5'2", just like me, but waaaay sexier with all her muscles. I wanted to know her exact fitness regimen: what she ate, how much, and at what times; how much cardio she did and on what modality?!; what her training split entailed, including her rest periods and how much weight she lifted. Because obviously, if I did every little thing she's doing, then I would eventually acquire her same physique. Was I right or was I right? I was wrong. Here's what I've learned since then: as big of a role that training and nutrition plays a part in the way that you look, so too do individual preferences. Also genetics. There were a number of reasons why, no matter what I did, I would never have been able to bring myself to look anything like Ms. Eason herself. My body doesn't respond to resistance training the way hers does, and eating several small meals a day makes me miserable. I've come to realize that I will have much more of a bikini body than a well-muscled figure competitor's physique no matter what because my genetic limitations deem it so. There's a certain limit to where and how much muscle I can slap on, and any lean mass gains that I hustle to make will be painstakingly slow. I also have piss poor ankle mobility, poor pulling (relative to pushing) strength, and oddly strong quads. This means that what works for Jamie Eason won't necessarily work for me. Along the same lines, I can't promise that the regimen that I thrive on will be similarly successful for you. Be it food allergies, lifestyle choices, or discrepancies in Type II fibers, you need to find what works for you. 2. Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Physique. (Or husband, but that's kind of besides the point.) I think that comparing yourself to others and wanting what they have does nothing but harbor toxicity in your soul. This sets off negative, self-defeating


thoughts, causing you to be more likely to fail in your own fitness goals. There's a good amount of subconscious de-motivation that happens when you obsess over other people's "perfect" bodies and nitpick over your muffin top and cellulite thighs. There's not much good that can come out of it. Does your girlfriend have amazingly sculpted legs? Does she have a strong backside that can easily hip thrust 225lbs on any given day? That's nice, and good for her. But how about we turn our attention to the fact that you can hit a golf ball farther than anyone you know or that you dominate military presses with your boulder shoulders? I'm all for self-improvement, but first understand that you are wonderful just the way that you already are at this very moment. Work to become a better version of yourself. After all, who wants to be a shadow of somebody else? 3. Thou Shall Walk with Confidence. And I don't just mean in the gym. No matter where you are or what you're doing, hold your head up high and own it. It? Everything. Be proud of your body and know that you have full control over the decisions that you make today (and tomorrow, and the next and the next). No one is going to force a scone down your throat - though I know it can be tempting to sometimes pretend that you had no choice but to "reluctantly" enjoy that dessert your coworker nonchalantly offered you. It's up to you whether you're going to choose happy hour or the gym on a Wednesday evening (how is that even a question?). You will not be shaken when a fool at the gym asks you if you're really using the squat rack and he's eyeing you up an down with a skeptical look because you're a girl and you're wasting space. You'll smile to yourself as his jaw drops to the floor when you warm up with his working weight. You won't doubt yourself when someone asks if you're sure you want to be lifting weights because your 19-inch thighs are looking big enough already (yes, that actually happened to me). At the restaurant, you'll politely ask the waiter to hold the butter and the bread and bring your salad with the dressing on the side please. And you won't let yourself feel bad for being a hassle. Be confident because you determine your destiny and you're the boss of your own damn body. And who gives a shit what anyone else thinks of you?


4. Thou Shall Not Make Fitness a God. Ohhh boy. I almost don't want to know how many years of my life I lost with all the stress I put on myself making fitness my first priority over absolutely everything. I'm well aware of the friendships that I let dissolve and all the missed opportunities for laughter, cherished memories, and inside jokes. I realize that I started countless fights with my family over what restaurant to go to and whether we should even go out to eat at all (my answer was always a resounding no). It hurts my heart to think about it now because I know that none of that was ever necessary. I let fitness become all-consuming, and I paid the price dearly for that. And ironically, in my fanatical quest to become lean and strong and physically healthy, I became very mentally unwell. I sought a sick sort of comfort in spending my evenings scouring fitness forums for hours on end when I could have been sitting out by a bonfire with my buddies. I snapped when my brother came near my food, and I didn't let myself enjoy my family vacation to Bali. Does the gym have a hotel? What kind of equipment does it have? Where are we going to eat? I should pack all my own food. It sucked - all it sucked! - but I didn't know any other way. Fitness isn't the panacea to your problems, nor will it ever be. I do believe that it should be an important part of everyone's lives, but by no means should it take up the #1 spot. God, family, friends - those should all come before fitness. There's so much more gratification that stems from those things. Today my life is overflowing with love, and fitness is just a small part of that - as it should be. 5. Thou Shall Celebrate Small Successes. Look, I'm all for setting larger-than-life goals and chasing after your wildest dreams. You want to become an IFBB bikini pro, you want to land the cover of Oxygen, you want to win your class at the Arnold Classic. You want to lose 50lbs and run a marathon in the next year. You want to write for Bodybuilding.com (hehe) and be recognized as one of the hottest bodies on your side of town. Rah rah. I sincerely hope you accomplish all that you want in life plus more. I also hope, however, that you recognize that slow progress, however small, is still progress. That you don't beat yourself up because you "only" lost half a pound of fat this week, or that you "only" made it to mile 3.6 today before you had to call it quits when one month ago, you could barely jog around the block.


Every little bit counts. Two steps forward with one step backward may be frustrating, but that's still a step forward. Lean doesn't happen overnight. Ripped doesn't happen in a week. Did you opt for carrot sticks instead of potato chips when you wanted a snack earlier today? Did you pack your lunch instead of making a beeline for Panda Express like you used to? Did you a drop a pants size, bringing you just a little bit closer to your goal of fitting in those size 4 jeans from high school? Give yourself some credit. You're better than you were yesterday, aren't you? That oughta count for something. 6. Thou Shall Rest. If you're sick, this one is a no-brainer. You can barely get out of the bed because you've been slammed with the flu and every fiber of your body is aching. (On a related note, did you get your flu shot? I didn't. D'oh.) As a rule of thumb, if the sickies are confined to below the nose, you should be fine to exercise. If you've got an ear-splitting headache, nausea, or anything equally terrible, I would stay home. But even besides the obvious illnesses, your body needs to rest. More training sessions at the gym - more minutes clocked under the bar - more sets and reps - is not necessarily better. This includes adequate sleep, too. What many people don't realize is that they're actually breaking down their muscle fibers when they strength train; it's during the recovery period that their bodies build back up and come back stronger. Are you proud of the fact that you're already hitting the gym 6 times a week after not exercising for years? Do you brag about running 10 miles every single day, come hell or high waters? It's time to re-think your long-term strategy and ask yourself if that's something that's really sustainable for you. I currently exercise anywhere from 4 to 6 days a week and never go to the gym more than once a day. If I'm not strength training, I'm doing a conditioning workout, and if I'm doing neither, I'm at least going out for a brisk walk to keep my body moving in some way, shape, or form. I also like to use my time outside of the gym to devote myself to my other commitments, including writing (hi!), taking care of my dog, and continuing my fitness education among other things. Rest up. Seriously. Your body will thank you.


7. Thou Shall Be Consistent. Think about the current fitness program you're on and ask yourself if it's something you can keep doing 5 years from now. Maybe, maybe not. Okay, what about 1 year from now? Six months? Two weeks? I'm very strongly against the radical tons-of-cardio, carbs-are-terrible, slash-ALL-the-calories approach because it never ends well. Believe me, I've been there - and I found myself in a very, very bad place. Aim to make one small change to your current lifestyle at a time instead of diving headfirst into a drastic life overhaul. Don't let yourself get carried away by your newfound enthusiasm and sky-high motivation because I can guarantee you that it'll putter out faster than you think. Create a plan for yourself that, on paper, may look mild (and perhaps you'll feel the urge to make it "harder"), but that you know for a fact that you can be consistent with on a day-to-day basis. After all, the most perfect program in the world will mean absolutely nothing if you are unable to follow it consistently. 8. Thou Shall Have Patience. As a follow-up to the above point, understand that becoming fit and lean and strong takes time. I think many of us have been brainwashed to believe that "only" 1lb of fat loss per week is painstakingly slow and that we should be dropping upwards of 10lbs per week - because that's what they do in The Biggest Loser, obviously! But even so, there may be times when you go for longer than you'd like without seeing a change in the mirror and when you don't get stronger on any of your exercises in a week. It becomes tempting when these things happen to change your program - add more cardio, switch to a new training split, or what have you - because you're convinced that what you're currently doing is no longer working. What you may not realize is that just a few more days and you would have experienced a huge whoosh of fat loss, or perhaps all you needed to do was to finally get a full night's rest to have a kickass training session. Ignore that voice in your head screaming that you should be seeing faster progress, that you should have reached your goal yesterday. You're likely still learning how your body works, and just because your buddy is shedding fat faster than you are doesn't necessarily mean that his program is better than yours. Your body is simply different. Think long-term. As long as you are consistent and patient, your time will come.


9. Thou Shall Forgive Thyself. This one's one of the hardest ones to master, I think, as it requires a generous heaping of self-compassion. Did you cave into the chocolate-covered almonds the other night? Do not try to compensate the next day by consuming only protein and veggies and logging an extra hour of running. Missed the gym for a week? Don't turn to three-a-days to play "catch up." If you resort to any sort of compensatory behavior, you'll wake up one morning and find yourself trapped in a cycle of oops-punish-repeat. This zaps the fun out of fitness and your mind will be filled with negative thoughts. Even worse, you may catch yourself intentionally justifying that imminent binge by vowing to "make up" for it over the next three days through starvation and hours of cardio. Cut it out. Instead, pick yourself up off the ground, wipe the snot off your tear-stained face, and maybe fix the mascara running down your cheek. The world's still spinning and you're still alive. You're not a bad person for having messed up. You know what you should do? Be kind to yourself. Brush the dirt off your yoga pants and hop right back on the wagon - there's still a seat in the shape of your butt waiting for you. Continue where you left off and don't look back. Never forget that you are human and that you're expected to make mistakes. The difference between a winner and a loser, however, is what you do in the aftermath of the screw-up. 10. Thou Shall Surround Thyself with Awesome. You are way too special and important to let your life be overshadowed and brought down by people who drain your energy and bring you down. You have dreams, damn it, and you should never let anyone stand in the way of them! Countless studies have shown that the greatest predictor of success is not family background. It's not money or education or pure dumb luck. It's your support group - the people who you interact the most with and feel closest to. If your so-called best friend is always baking you cupcakes "because she loves you soooo much!" despite knowing that you're on a quest to get lean, bag that friendship. If your boyfriend can't share your enthusiasm over the fact that you got a PR in the gym today and he instead sneers that you should stop lifting weights and take up "like, yoga or something girly," that boy's gotta go.


I've had to do a lot of revamping with my relationships over the past year or so and it's paid off tremendously. Whereas before I would have people constantly ask me, "Are you sure you want to do that?", I now have friends who willingly go out of their way to lend a helping hand without my even having to ask. My boyfriend is equally, if not more, pumped when I get another article published on Bodybuilding.com and he doesn't laugh when I share my career dreams with him. I'm motivated and inspired by the people closest to me and there's so much about them that I respect and look up to. I do my best to spend my time around them and keep them in my tight little circle of friends because I know how awesome they are. I advise you do the same, as being around positive influences can only beget good things. Be around awesome. Bathe in it, bask in it, smear it all over your face. Then you have no choice but to be awesome yourself.


That's it? Yes, that's it. It really is this simple. Do you see how big of a role your mindset plays in how your own story unfolds? Fitness psychology is hugely important, and it's unfortunately ignored by so many individuals aspiring to get into the best shape of their lives. Having a training and nutrition program is better than nothing, of course, but what's the point if you're not equipped with the mental tools to execute the plan? Why bother if you're going to become obsessive, snappish, and unhappy along the way? Invest more time and energy into your psychological well-being than squatting away under the Olympic bar. Take a step back and look at the big picture. Ask yourself why you became interested in this journey in the first place. Was it to lose your relationships or enhance them? Was it to gain confidence or lose self-respect? The answer should be obvious. These are the 10 Commandments of Lean. Abide by these rules and you, too, shall find yourself well on your way to success. Yours in health,

Sohee Lee

10 Commandments of Lean - Sohee Fit Commandments... · a) you're contemplating embarking on a fat...

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