1 PARENTING PHYSICALLY AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN AND YOUTH.

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1 PARENTING PHYSICALLY AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN AND YOUTH

Transcript of 1 PARENTING PHYSICALLY AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN AND YOUTH.

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PARENTING PHYSICALLY AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN AND

YOUTH

PARENTING PHYSICALLY AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN AND

YOUTH

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Today’s Training GoalToday’s Training Goal

To assist families in understanding and managing physically aggressive

behaviors in children and youth.

To assist families in understanding and managing physically aggressive

behaviors in children and youth.

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AssumptionsAssumptions

This curriculum assumes that you are working with children who have the cognitive skills to engage in problem solving interactions with adults.

This curriculum assumes that you are working with children who have the cognitive skills to engage in problem solving interactions with adults.

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0 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20

Age in Years

Physical Maturity

Social Skills

Reading Ability

Emotional Maturity

Money & Time Concepts

Comprehension

Expressive Language

Life Skills

18 Year Old Affected by FAS/FAE

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Body’s Stress Hormone ResponseBody’s Stress Hormone Response

Diagram source: http://www.human illnesses.com/Behavioral-Health-Sel-Vi/Stress.html

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Appropriate Expressions of Anger

Appropriate Expressions of Anger

Relaxation Techniques Problem Solving Letter to nowhere Journal Physical activity

Relaxation Techniques Problem Solving Letter to nowhere Journal Physical activity

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EscalationEscalation

Antecedents/Triggers

Anxious Defensive Aggressive Dangerous

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Anxiety: What does it FEEL like?

Anxiety: What does it FEEL like?

Heart is pumping Tingling Worried Maybe shortness of breath Helpless Scared

Heart is pumping Tingling Worried Maybe shortness of breath Helpless Scared

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Anxiety: What does it LOOK like?

Anxiety: What does it LOOK like?

Sweating

Fidgeting

Twitching

Pacing

Unable to sit still, focus, concentrate

Sweating

Fidgeting

Twitching

Pacing

Unable to sit still, focus, concentrate

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Anxiety: What does it SOUND like?

Anxiety: What does it SOUND like?

Chattering

Perseveration

Quiet

Chattering

Perseveration

Quiet

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Responding to Anxiety Behavior

Responding to Anxiety Behavior

Be supportive and non-judgmentalBe positive and reassuringUse reflective listening Ask open-ended questionsProblem Solve

Could the child listen to music on his/her headphones while at the dentist?

Could the child go to an appointment with you to observe what it is like?

Be supportive and non-judgmentalBe positive and reassuringUse reflective listening Ask open-ended questionsProblem Solve

Could the child listen to music on his/her headphones while at the dentist?

Could the child go to an appointment with you to observe what it is like?

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Defensive BehaviorDefensive Behavior

Feels Like… Stuck on idea or

problem Can’t move on Still present:

Heart Pumping Shortness of breath Tingling Worried Problem is unsolvable

Feels Like… Stuck on idea or

problem Can’t move on Still present:

Heart Pumping Shortness of breath Tingling Worried Problem is unsolvable

Looks Like… Protective of space but

quick to crowd others Doesn’t seem to listen Can’t sit still Still Present:

Sweating Pacing Twitching Fidgeting

Looks Like… Protective of space but

quick to crowd others Doesn’t seem to listen Can’t sit still Still Present:

Sweating Pacing Twitching Fidgeting

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Defensive Behavior (continued)

Defensive Behavior (continued)

Sounds Like… Rapid Speech Loud Still Present:

Perseveration Staying on same

subject

Sounds Like… Rapid Speech Loud Still Present:

Perseveration Staying on same

subject

Response Techniques: Turn down the heat

Defensiveness can escalate into aggressive behavior

Get through the sensory shutdown

Maintain a comfortable distance

Describe the current behavior and how it differs from baseline behavior.

Ask open-ended questions

Response Techniques: Turn down the heat

Defensiveness can escalate into aggressive behavior

Get through the sensory shutdown

Maintain a comfortable distance

Describe the current behavior and how it differs from baseline behavior.

Ask open-ended questions

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Aggressive BehaviorAggressive Behavior

Feels Like:High energy

Still Present:Heart pumpingShortness of breathTinglingWorriedStuck

Looks Like:Red faceTight/clenched musclesThrows objectsStill Present:SweatingPacingTwitchingFidgeting

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Aggressive Behavior (continued)

Aggressive Behavior (continued)

Sounds Like:Incessant questioningRefusals to complyVerbal attacks

Still Present:ChatteringPerseverationRapid SpeechLoud

Response Techniques:Move from emotion to thoughtDefine appropriate behaviorGive choicesStay calmWithdraw and wait

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Danger BehaviorDanger Behavior

Feels like:Muscle tensionReady to explodeOut of controlStill present:Heart pumpingShortness of breathTinglingWorriedStuck

Looks like:Feet spaced apartNeck muscles prominentEyes set and glaringFists clenchedThrowing items at youStill present:Sweating, pacing, twitching, fidgeting, not listening, can’t sit still, red face, muscles tight.

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Danger Behavior (continued)Danger Behavior (continued)

Sounds like:Verbal attacksRagePersistenceStill present: Chattering, perseveration, rapid speech, loud, incessant questioning, refusals to comply.

Response Techniques:Take threats seriouslyIncrease distanceEvacuate othersLook for escape routesMaintain non-threatening body languageStay calmFollow Crisis PlanCall for help

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Dr. Haim Ginott:Dr. Haim Ginott:

“I’ve come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. My personal approach creates the climate. My daily mood makes the weather. As a teacher I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that dictates whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.”

“I’ve come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. My personal approach creates the climate. My daily mood makes the weather. As a teacher I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that dictates whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.”

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How Meaning is ConveyedHow Meaning is Conveyed

7% is in words that are spoken.

38% of meaning is in the WAY words are spoken.

55% of the meaning is in facial expression.

7% is in words that are spoken.

38% of meaning is in the WAY words are spoken.

55% of the meaning is in facial expression.

38% 55%

7%

38% 55%

7%

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TriggersTriggers

Sensory

Situational

Transitions

Interpersonal

Time of day

Sensory

Situational

Transitions

Interpersonal

Time of day

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Categories of ReinforcementsCategories of Reinforcements

Social

Consumable

Activity

Manipulative

Exchangeable

Social

Consumable

Activity

Manipulative

Exchangeable

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Logical ConsequencesLogical Consequences

Teach, don’t punish

Related

Reasonable

Respectful

Teach, don’t punish

Related

Reasonable

Respectful

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CHILDREN DO WELL IF THEY CAN!

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Why Children ExplodeWhy Children Explode

Many children are not able to comply with expectations because of developmental delays. They lack the skills they need to be successful.

Many children are not able to comply with expectations because of developmental delays. They lack the skills they need to be successful.

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5 Steps to Problem Solving5 Steps to Problem Solving

Define the Problem

Brainstorm Alternatives

Choose a Solution

Obtain a Commitment

Evaluate the Results

Define the Problem

Brainstorm Alternatives

Choose a Solution

Obtain a Commitment

Evaluate the Results

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WHAT IS A GOOD SOLUTION?WHAT IS A GOOD SOLUTION?

Any solution that two parties agree is realistic, doable, and mutually satisfactory.

Any solution that two parties agree is realistic, doable, and mutually satisfactory.

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CRISIS PREVENTION PLANNING

CRISIS PREVENTION PLANNING

Takes place early in a case Considers child’s past and experiences Includes input from the child,

caseworker, and others involved in child’s care

Takes place early in a case Considers child’s past and experiences Includes input from the child,

caseworker, and others involved in child’s care

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AN EFFECTIVE CRISIS PLAN:AN EFFECTIVE CRISIS PLAN:

Is user-friendly Has clear directions Is individualized Is preventative Plans for real-life situations Is developed collaboratively Changes as the child/youth changes

Is user-friendly Has clear directions Is individualized Is preventative Plans for real-life situations Is developed collaboratively Changes as the child/youth changes

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RESOURCES - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

RESOURCES - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Child’s Social Worker, therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, and other caregivers

DSHS emergency contact numbers Crisis Line phone numbers Other community resources 911

Child’s Social Worker, therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, and other caregivers

DSHS emergency contact numbers Crisis Line phone numbers Other community resources 911

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TAKE CARE OF YOURSELFTAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Have a plan for self-care

If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of your children

Have a plan for self-care

If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of your children

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Self-CareSelf-Care

Stay in touch with supportive friends

Exercise

Use support groups

Keep a sense of humor

Forgive yourself

Stay in touch with supportive friends

Exercise

Use support groups

Keep a sense of humor

Forgive yourself

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“I have become clear about at least one

thing: self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.”

Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

“I have become clear about at least one

thing: self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.”

Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak