02) Grow Up! Are You a Child of God or a Man of God? Chapter One

8/7/2019 02) Grow Up! Are You a Child of God or a Man of God? Chapter One

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Chapter One: About Me

Starting with the beginning of my new life in Christ, I was saved when I twelve years old, just two

months shy of my thirteenth birthday. The church I was going to was looking for a new pastor, and we

had a new one every six weeks. Though it was a Baptist church, every pastor had a different doctrine

on Salvation. By the third pastor, I had no idea how to get to Heaven.

In the summer of 1988, we got a new youth director. She was only 19 years old, and was on

summer break from her university. Her name was Ginger, and she truly loved God. I give God the

glory for sending her my way, and caring enough for me to tell me His truth. I think I can honestly say

that if she hadn’t told me about Salvation, I might not be a Christian today.

Our youth group was taking a trip to Florida for a youth conference in Panama City, and it was

going to be somewhere around $60 for the trip. Ginger took her own money and brought it to my

mother to pay for the trip. My stepmother spent the money, leaving me with still no way to go on the

trip, so Ginger paid another $60, this time for the church itself to hold. That is God’s love right there.

The first night of the trip, around 11:30 pm on a Monday night, she asked me out to the motel

steps and shared the Salvation plan with me. As soon as I heard it, I knew it was right through the

Holy Spirit. I recognized God’s truth as a man dying of thirst would know the difference between an

oasis and an illusion. I accepted Christ as my Saviour at 11:45 pm that night. My life has been as

amazing as it has because someone cared enough about me to tell me the Truth.

Upon returning from the trip, I asked the current pastor to be baptized. He said “That’s great!” and

promised I would be baptized in two weeks. He said he needed that time to get things set up and let

the right people know. So, in two weeks, on a Sunday morning, I asked the pastor if I would be

baptized that night. I was saddened to realize he had forgotten. So, he asked for another two weeks,

but we had a new pastor by the time that two weeks had passed. I was a baby Christian, and had

already felt my first disappointment.



I went to church regularly over the next several years before I was finally baptized. I was fully

versed in all church customs and practices. I lived a fairly well Christian life for a teenager. By the

time I was sixteen, though, I had a few questions, mostly on prayer. The frustrating part was having

my questions answered by them saying “…because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” The church

basically refused to look at the question. So, I started looking for myself.

I started talking with God more when I realized the Church didn’t hold the answers to my particular

questions. I read my Bible from cover to cover, looking for ways to communicate with Him better. The

closeness I felt to God during these times was phenomenal. In the spirit of the closeness, I didn’t

want it to end, so I made a deal with Him.

I know a lot of people right now are saying “Everyone makes deals with God,” and you’d be right.

The difference is, I made the only deal you can really make with God. Everyone knows the scripture

of Romans 8:28, right? “For all things work for good…”. The problem is, most people stop right there.

They forget the rest of the verse, which states “…for those who love God and are called according

to His purpose.” This is one of the most powerful verses in the Bible, and most people will quote it

wrongly half the time. They only want to focus on the nicer sounding part, instead of the full promise.

Even non-Christians will quote it from time to time.

Well, I told God I would do whatever He wanted me to do whenever He wanted me to do it. The

most important part was I meant it. I said I would follow His will if he fulfilled His promise by giving me

a blessed life full of togetherness with Him. As long as everything worked out for me in the end, no

matter the circumstances, I would continue following His will. I didn’t ask to win the lottery, or for a

perfect girlfriend, or to be rich and successful. I just wanted a good life. No major disasters, no jail

time, no sudden deaths or accidents that crippled me. I asked for a nice, seemingly simple deal

based on Scripture, and of course God took me up on it. My life has never been the same since, and I

don’t regret a minute of it.

I have seen miracles, both big and small, that most Christians wouldn’t even believe, which is sad,

but true. What most people don’t realize is that our lives are full of miracles that God gives us every



day. I know that sounds rather trite, but it’s true. By not recognizing the smaller ones, by saying

they’re nothing more than good luck smiling on you, you’re taking glory away from God and giving it

to a nameless fate. If you give someone a gift, and they don’t thank you, or even acknowledge you,

how many gifts are you going to give them? People ask for the big miracles every day, but won’t

thank God for the little ones. How tacky is that?

The first few years of “The Deal” were the worst. Unless God sent me a message that had the

power of a spiritual nuclear weapon, I was too caught up in my own problems. I was 16 when I made

the deal, after all. High school had its own set of problems, but I had health issues as well. A series of

ever-increasing headaches had started when I was 11, and by the time I was 16, the pain was so bad

I wasn’t sure if I would live to fulfill my end of the bargain. I had migraines at least three times a week.

I was popping aspirin like they were candy, and it wasn’t helping in the slightest. I only kept taking

them out of sheer desperation. Eventually I started getting nosebleeds, apparently from all the aspirin

I was taking. My father, who was divorced at the time, was oblivious. He just kept wondering where all

the aspirin had gone. I was horrified to discover I had taken almost an entire bottle of aspirin in a two

week period. The signs were all around my father, but he either refused to see, or didn’t let my health

register as a blot on his personal radar.

Eventually, in the middle of my senior year, after praying nightly for the sledgehammer in my head

to be taken away, they stopped. All at once, they stopped, never to appear again. I guess God had

other plans for me than to die that early, because I can tell you now, I was dying. Maybe literally, and

maybe not. I’ve talked with doctors about it, after the fact, and was told that, given the symptoms I

described, there was a chance it was a tumor growing there. Since I couldn’t keep my end of the

bargain dead, however, God saw to my health.

Many years went by, and I saw many more miracles. I think God was trying to keep my attention

on Him. I joined the Army, and was discharged for sleepwalking. While I was there, however, my

roommate in Basic Training ended up being from West Virginia. Against all odds, we ended up

knowing the same person: the same Ginger who led me to the Lord had been witnessing to him for



months! She lived in West Virginia at that point, about a thousand miles away from where I knew her

from. She still had the same name, Godly attitude, and appearance. After this revelation, my room-

mate, who I had been witnessing to unsuccessfully, started to actually listen to what I had to say. He

didn’t become a Christian that day, but the seed was planted firmly, I could tell, and I fully believe that

he came to a saving knowledge in Christ at some point. God wouldn’t have moved that powerfully

only to have His word come away empty, I believe.

For more than five years after making the deal with God I struggled to hear Him. I kept asking Him

“is that you or me?” whenever I believed He was trying to tell me something. All in all, I didn’t do that

much for Him in this period, and I felt miserable about it. I wasn’t holding up my end of the bargain,

after all He did for me. Finally, I prayed a prayer that wasn’t answered for three years. I prayed for the

ability to hear Him better. Later that year, I prayed for a stronger, unshakeable faith, for the world is

full of skeptics trying to convince us we’re fools for believing in God and His word and His Son. A little

over a year later again I prayed for the attitude of thankfulness. After all, why would God give me

more if I couldn’t appreciate what He’s already given me? Well, God finally answered my prayers. He

did it in a way that I would know it was He who did it, and not just an act of will.

On December 27, 1997, I woke up and, as soon as my feet hit the floor, I said “Thank you Jesus

for giving me this day.” It was a beautiful day outside, to be sure, but I had never said anything like

that before, and never would I have thought to say it out loud! I noticed a change in my spirit after

these words, almost as if they were an access code to a secret I already held in my heart, which I

suppose I did.

This change happened just a few weeks after I prayed for thankfulness. I guess God was only

waiting for me to want all the right things. Like Scrooge before me, He had “done it all in one night,”

and I awoke that morning a new man. From that day forward, I hear God as if He were right beside

me, which He is. My faith has become unshakeable. I’m a lot more positive and thankful, even in bad

times. What’s more, I’m closer to Him than ever, and He is to me. We talk together every day, and I



always know the answers to my prayers whenever He deigns to speak them. I just wait for His timing

for the answer, but I also now have the faith to wait for it and the knowledge it is Him when it comes.

My talks with God have pointed out some interesting things that are in Scripture that most

churches skip over. They consider these things minor points that really don’t affect the average

Christian. The sad part is, they are right. Most Christians who are honest with themselves will admit

they don’t read their Bible anywhere near as much as they should. They break it open for church on

Sunday, and that’s about it. They read the verses the pastor tells them to read, take notes the pastor

tells them to take, and pray what the pastor tells them to pray.

The problem with this is, by actually doing things the way the Bible says not to do them, they are

teaching people wrongly how to worship and speak with God. By being taught wrongly in service,

your walk with the Lord suffers, and you end up buying books that teach you how to get closer to

God. I’m not saying you shouldn’t read this book, of course. Sometimes you just need an outside

perspective on things, and an open mind that doesn’t mind asking tough questions of itself. So, I’ll

provide the perspective if you provide the open mind.

One thing to remember as you read this is everything I point out is in Scripture, and most is in

plain English that a lot of theologians try to twist around. I’m not saying they do it on purpose, but this

was the way they’ve been taught at seminaries all around the country. They are taught that church

service should follow the same formula of worship that everyone knows so well. If you point

something out in Scripture that says “don’t do it that way,” they spit out almost verbatim the reason

they were taught Scripture doesn’t apply to what they’re doing. Usually, when you break down their

reasoning, it doesn’t hold water for long. When you take away what they’ve been taught to say, most

pastors end up agreeing with what I say later in the book. After all, “All Scripture is given by

inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in

righteousness.” 2 Timothy 3:16. If it is in Scripture, they cannot be blind to it.

There will be things in this book that seem confrontational with standard church policy, and that

cannot be helped. I’ve been practically thrown out of two churches for even trying to talk with the



pastors about some of these subjects. Most people just don’t want to hear it. One thing to remember

as you read these words, however, is this: I love all my brothers and sisters in Christ. I love God the

Father with all my heart, and I have a fantastic relationship with Him over these last 10+ years (I don’t

count the years I was struggling to hear Him). I want everyone to experience the closeness I have

with Him. It completely changes your life, as it should.

Please read this book with an honest heart. Some subjects will cause people to automatically get

defensive and say “I don’t do that!” If you truly don’t look at things that way, I am glad for you, for you

are in the minority. Being defensive will just cause you to hate this book. Read on, brave Christian

soldier, for the hard choices you may have to make for a closer relationship with God.

02) Grow Up! Are You a Child of God or a Man of God? Chapter One

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