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t r EDUCATION tr MARRIAGE tr TECHLAND tr LIBATIONS

EDUCATION

BY MAIA SZATAVITZ

AT A PUBLIC SCHOOL IN TORONTO, 25 THIRD-

and fourth-graders circle a green blanketand focus intently on a ro-month-old babywith serious brown eyes. Baby Stephana,as they call her, crawls toward the centerof the blanket, then turns to glance ather mother. "When she looks back to hermom, we know she's checking in to seeif everything's cool," explains one boy,

Kindness 1O1. An antibullying program teaches kids toempath Lzeby bringing a mother-and baby into the classroom

who is learning how to understand andrespond to the emotions of the baby-andto those of his classmates-in a programcalled Roots of Empathy (ROE).

After the recent bullying-related sui-cide of a r5-year-old in Massachusetts,Darents and educators around NorthAmerica are wondering: Could her deathhave been prevented? What can schoolsdo to stop the taunting that takes placeon and off campus? And most important,

Baby steps .In Toronto, childrenlearnhow to

understand an infant's cues and frustrations

can positive qualities like empathy andkindness be taught? In December, theCampbell Collaboration, an internationalresearch network, published an examina-tion of decades of data from the bewilder-ing array of school antibullying programs(with names like Expect Respect, YouthMatters and S.S.GRIN) and found that the

Photoglaph by Finn O'Hafa for TIME

Empathizer Gordon, seated on desk, is the founder of Roots of Empathy

ones that work best have many differentelements-including engaging and train-ing parents-and last the longest, some-times for years.

One of the most promising antibullyingprograms, ROE (along with its sister pro-gram, Seeds of Empathy) starts as early aspreschool and brings a loving parent and ababy to classrooms to help children learnto understand the perspective of others.The nonprofit program is based in parton social neuroscience, a field that has ex-ploded in the past ro years, with hundredsofnewfindings onhowourbrains arebuiltto care, compete and cooperate. Once amonth, students watch the same mom andbaby interact on the blanl<et. Special ROEinstructors also hold related classes anddiscussions before and after these visitsthroughout the course ofthe school year.

"We love when we get a colicky baby,"says founder Mary Gordon. Then the moth-erwill usuallytell the class howfrustratingand annoying it is when she can't figure outwhat to do to get the baby to stop crying.That gives children insight into the parent'sperspective-and into how children's be-havior can affect adults, often somethingthey have neverthought about.

When Baby Stephana cries, an ROEinstructor helps students consider whatmight be bothering her. They are taughtthat a crying baby isn't a bad baby but ababy with a problem. By trying to figureout how to help, they learn to see the worldthrough the infant's eyes and understandwhat it is like to have needs but no abilityto express them clearly.

Founded in 1996 in Canada, ROE hastaught 315,ooo children in four countries.

It reached 5o,ooo children in some z,oooclassrooms this academic year. To date,nine independent studies have shown thatROE schools experience "reduced aggres-sion" and "increased prosocial behavior"among students. (ROE's use of these termsis probably the reason it was not evaluatedin the Campbell study, which used a key-word search for studies on "bullying.") Inthe U.S., where momentum is starting tobuild for a congressional bill that wouldcreate federal grants for social and emo-tional learning in elementary and second-ary schools, ROE is currently used in 40schools, and Seeds of Empathy is in threeHead Start centers in Seattle, with expan-sion planned next year.

"When kids are able to watch an inter-action that's empathic, empathy isn't justbeing taught; it's being demonstrated,"says Dr. Daniel Siegel, a clinical profes-sor of psychiatry at UCLA. ROE is unique,he notes, because it "combines the directobservation of babies and their mothers,weekly time devoted to talking aboutthe internal world of mind and watchinga baby grow up over time." Among theprogram's many big-name fans: the DalaiLama, who has twice appeared publiclywith Gordon and thinks ROE can helpspurworld peace.

Amongthepnogramts fans: theDalai l-ama, whothinks it can help

Although human nature has histori-cally been seen as fundamentally selfish,social neuroscience suggests otherwise.Researchers are finding that empathy isinnate inmost humans, as well as in someother species. Chimps, for instance, willprotest unfair treatment of others, refus-ing to accept a treat they have rightfullyearned if another chimp doing the samework fails to get the same reward.

The first stirrings of human empathytypically appear in babyhood: newbornscry upon hearing another infant's cry,and studies have shown that children asyoung as 14 months offer unsolicited helpto adults who appear to be struggling toreach something. Babies also show a dis-tinct preference for adults who help ratherthan hinder others.

But like language acquisition, the inher-ent capacityto empathize canbe profound-ly affected by early experience. The first fiveyears of life are now known to be a criticaltime for emotional as well as linguisticdevelopment. Although children can beastonishingly resilient, studies show thatthose who experience early abuse or ne-glect are at much greater risk of becomingaggressive or even psychopathic, bullyingother children or being bullied themselves.

That helps explain why simply pun-ishing bullies doesn't work. Most alreadyknow what it's like to be victimized. In-stead of identifying with the victims,some kids learn to use violence to expressanger or assert power.

After a child has hurt someone, "we al-ways think we should start with'How doyou think so-and-so felt?"' Gordon says. "Butyou will be more successful if you start with'You must have felt very upset."'The trick,she says, is to "help children describe howtheyfelt, so that the next time this happens,they've got language. Now they can say, 'I'mfeeling like I did when I bit |ohnny."'

When children are able to understandtheir own feelings, they are closer to beingable to understand that |ohnny was alsohurt and upset by being bitten. Empathy isbased on our ability to mirror others' emo-tions, and ROE helps children recognizeand describe what they're seeing.

Observing infants is simple and ef-fective. Their helplessness and cutenessevoke a powerful protective response-quite different from what happens when

bullies sense yulnerability. "Babies areexquisite teachers of empathy becausethey are theaters of emotion," says Gor-don. "They don't hide anything." If onlyadolescentswere so easyto read. I

Szalavitz is a co-author ofBornfor Love:Why Empathy Is Essential-andEndangered (Morrow, zoro)spurworld peace

TrME May 24,2oro